ProMonkians
12-05-2005, 21:56
ProMonkians Politicised Party Campagning For The Introduction Of Reproductive Red Tape (or PPPCFTIORRT for short). Over the past few decades the act formally known as sex had become more common and allegedly more enjoyable - with figures today showing that almost 99% of parents have at some point engaged in 'rumpy-pumpy'. PPPCFTIORRT is well aware of these figures and proposes the following to regulate this act.
Neutering of all infants
All children will be neutered at birth, said neutering can be reversed if and when the neutered party satisfactoraly completes forms 198c (Reverse Neuter Request Form), 887 parts (A) AND (B) (Medical examination),56tc6 (Uglyness test), and pays a non-refundable deposit of £30. Reversal of neutering is only valid for the duration of the requested sexual act.
The 'Pay per Play' Tax
All particapents in the act of sex will be monitored by a team of tax instpectors who will assess the act and judge how much tax is payable upon it. The tax criteria includes: ammount of bodyily fluid consumed/spent, salinity of bodily fluid, amount of weight lost during act, legnth of act, and overall performance as rated out of ten.
Hiring of Government Approved Contraceptives
Those wishing to partake in the act of sex for so called recrational/sinfull purposes are required to request the use of a contrasceptive from their local government office. It is likely that these are to be in high demand, and since the government currently only possess around three condoms it is required that users book in advance. Users of contraceptives are expected to return said device; cleaned and dry otherwise they may face a fine.
It is hoped that all the above messures will protect future generations from the dangers of sex, while still allowing people to enjoy it safley. Also the tax money raised will be used to buy everyone a monster truck.
Sign up now! Anybody who doesn't is either a witch or a magpie...
Neutering of all infants
All children will be neutered at birth, said neutering can be reversed if and when the neutered party satisfactoraly completes forms 198c (Reverse Neuter Request Form), 887 parts (A) AND (B) (Medical examination),56tc6 (Uglyness test), and pays a non-refundable deposit of £30. Reversal of neutering is only valid for the duration of the requested sexual act.
The 'Pay per Play' Tax
All particapents in the act of sex will be monitored by a team of tax instpectors who will assess the act and judge how much tax is payable upon it. The tax criteria includes: ammount of bodyily fluid consumed/spent, salinity of bodily fluid, amount of weight lost during act, legnth of act, and overall performance as rated out of ten.
Hiring of Government Approved Contraceptives
Those wishing to partake in the act of sex for so called recrational/sinfull purposes are required to request the use of a contrasceptive from their local government office. It is likely that these are to be in high demand, and since the government currently only possess around three condoms it is required that users book in advance. Users of contraceptives are expected to return said device; cleaned and dry otherwise they may face a fine.
It is hoped that all the above messures will protect future generations from the dangers of sex, while still allowing people to enjoy it safley. Also the tax money raised will be used to buy everyone a monster truck.
Sign up now! Anybody who doesn't is either a witch or a magpie...