NationStates Jolt Archive

im thinking river of flaming gasoline on all our landborders (Canada and Mexico). A 2 mile wide demilitarized zone on either end of each border, complete with land mines and barbed wire. Possibly training an army of attack dogs to attack all illegals who manage to make it over the mines and river of fire.

Every quarter of a mile will be really loud techno music and 5 strobe lights (to daze and confuse the illegals, possibly inciting them to pass out from an epileptic seizure, or just start dancing)

the guard dogs will free up military positions and necessity for a lot of money wasted on a not-so-successful INS/border patrol.

what do you guys think?

Gasoline is too expensive right now.

could be revised to ethanol, charcoal fluid, or any other combustible liquid...

Want a horribly ridiculous and stupid way to completly stop illegal imigration?
Simple.
Kill everone in mexico.

come to think of it....

kill everyone!
that would stop all illegal activities :sniper:

The California Governer raised a good point. Most other counrties have a wall around them. Why not the US. Once constructed, the wall would do away with most of the other costs.

Have recruitment stations at the border...

Velvet ropes and bouncers. I'd get work, and only beautiful people and good dancers would be able to get in.

Most other counrties have a wall around them.

Umm...no they dont.

"Walls are a good idea," said mason John Doe, "but I don't think that's going far enough. Why not build a labyrinth on our borders, complete with trapdoors, quicksand, and various mythological creatures? Just the thought of being trapped forever would keep any potential illegal immigrant away."
[Accept]

I think we should have old men on porches with shotguns. Just sitting there and muttering under their breath about "illegal, undocumented aliums" while playing with the gun. :sniper:

No one would cross THAT border. Actually. I bet they would.

But... if you built a wall... :headbang: would happen all the time.

Declare everyone to be an American citizen. Hey presto, no more illegal immigration.

Naw, I'm thinking what we need is to make outselves an island. Dig two huge cannals along the borders (hey we'd finally have our fabled Northwest Passage) and then stock them with deadly Box Jellyfish.

Either that or contract out to Mordor for the Black Gates.

just land mine the entire place with ridiculous density. Then play the immigrant game.

If they make it across the field unharmed, they get to be citizens, otherwise, they die.

Bah.. with "Illegal Immigrants".

Do you actually believe that soo meny illegals would be getting in.... if the govn't Really didnt want them too.? Same with drugs.. You all that think the cocaine from SA is getting in here through the "cracks" are very naive.

Pls..

I read somewhere that in the days of aparthied, the South African government had a wildlife refuge filled with lions along part of its boarder in hopes the lions would eat illegal immigrants which they often did.

The California Governer raised a good point. Most other counrties have a wall around them. Why not the US. Once constructed, the wall would do away with most of the other costs.
That...plus a 50ft "no man's land" right inside the fence that would be inundated with land mines. I think illegal immigration would dry up immediately. :)

there is an easy solution to the problem. convince all the racists and morons to go 'patrol' a particular section of the border. but have them hold a big rally first. while holding that rally, build a big electrified fence topped with razor wire around them, leaving the side facing mexico open. when they try to get out by going into mexico and coming back into the u.s., arrest them for immigration violations and deport them to north korea.

problem solved.

Stop illegal immigration by making it legal.

Stop illegal immigration by making it legal.

:headbang:
on a serious note to this unrealistic thread,
that has got to be the worst idea of all... there is legal immigration already, to allow anyone to just cross our borders unchecked is a very dangerous thing... the govt has to be able to keep track of visitors and ppl otherwise chaos and possibly anarchy would commense (not to be pessimistic or anything) :rolleyes:

This is how the U.S. immigration problem will be solved in 2012!

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8860597&posted=1#post8860597

Ban all borders. Everywhere. No more countries, no more immigration!

Ban all borders. Everywhere. No more countries, no more immigration!
You sound like a hardcore Libertarian.

How about we get hundreds of thousands of weedwhackers and modify them to run off rubbing alcohol and turn them upside down and leave them to run in the desert 365 days a year. I don't think they'd want to risk getting their ankles sliced and diced.

Ban all borders.

that's not unrealistic, that just makes sense.

I think you're onto something with the velvet rope idea...

Require them to pay for medical treatment.

Nyah. Haha. It is EVIL, it is so EVIL. It is a bad, bad plan, which will hurt many... people... who are good. I think it's great that it's so bad.


We make all the mexicans sterile so they cannot have children. the kinder gentiler side of genocide.

(I do not indore this kind of activitie and am in no way responsable for the murder of any culter in the future that resembles this idea)

I read somewhere that in the days of aparthied, the South African government had a wildlife refuge filled with lions along part of its boarder in hopes the lions would eat illegal immigrants which they often did.

Its actually EXTREMELY rare for lions to attack, not to even mention eating people. Better to use trained dogs or something.

Nyah. Haha. It is EVIL, it is so EVIL. It is a bad, bad plan, which will hurt many... people... who are good. I think it's great that it's so bad.


We make all the mexicans sterile so they cannot have children. the kinder gentiler side of genocide.

(I do not indore this kind of activitie and am in no way responsable for the murder of any culter in the future that resembles this idea)

Its cheaper to kill all the mexicans. Bullet costs far less than the sterilization operation. Better still to kill all AMERICANS though. Then there would be no one making stupid laws about illegal immigration, and everybody would be happy.

Ban all borders. Everywhere. No more countries, no more immigration!

Best idea yet.

There's obviously huge amounts of radioactive waste in the US (and in Europe) that needs to be removed, and put somewhere. We in the US keep planning to put the stuff in that hole in the ground in Nevada, which should be open decades from now (when the lawsuits subside).

We should dig the ground up in a random pattern in a 5 mile deep band on the US side of the border. Just to make walking extremely slow and difficult. Then I would get a lot of junk scrap steel, and chop it into pieces, and sow it into the roughened ground, to make it more impassable. Then I would put razorwire everywhere.

And then I would take all the radioactive waste, grind it up, and sprinkle it over the entire zone.

We would never have to patrol the area again, at least not for people trying to come across on foot.

there is an easy solution to the problem. convince all the racists and morons to go 'patrol' a particular section of the border. but have them hold a big rally first. while holding that rally, build a big electrified fence topped with razor wire around them, leaving the side facing mexico open. when they try to get out by going into mexico and coming back into the u.s., arrest them for immigration violations and deport them to north korea.

problem solved.
Excellent. Sean Hannity has set a fine example.

Never thought I'd find myself writing that...

Excellent. Sean Hannity has set a fine example.

precisely. i can't stand border-jumpers like him. he should come through legally, like everybody else. i bet he didn't even have the proper papers on him - how do we know he isn't a terrorist?

precisely. i can't stand border-jumpers like him. he should come through legally, like everybody else. i bet he didn't even have the proper papers on him - how do we know he isn't a terrorist?

That's why I want to do the radioactive waste thing. It's unbiased, and it will catch everyone, even if they're not terrorists.

Godzilla?

Magnets.

The California Governer raised a good point. Most other counrties have a wall around them. Why not the US. Once constructed, the wall would do away with most of the other costs.
No, Disneyland is not a real country.

Craziest idea: Eliminate all borders and national identities. No more illegal immigrants.

Too crazy for you?

Second Craziest Idea: Quicksand moat. :)

Have recruitment stations at the border...

What kind?

Military?

Domestic help?

Prostitution?

Border patrol?

:confused: :D

send George Bush to mexico to recruit immigrants.

No-one wants things that people are trying to force on them.

And most people would run a mile from Bush.

Or Clinton for that matter.

Craziest idea: Eliminate all borders and national identities. No more illegal immigrants.

Too crazy for you?

Second Craziest Idea: Quicksand moat. :)

Not crazy enough. Nuke the world. No more people.

Not crazy enough. Nuke the world. No more people.

nuke the US would be cheaper, then no-one would want to come.

Or make films for the mexican market and populate them with hideous people with no money.

nuke the US would be cheaper, then no-one would want to come.

Or make films for the mexican market and populate them with hideous people with no money.

You have to be fair, and nuke everyone, so that there isn't anyone left to go anywhere else.

Not crazy enough. Nuke the world. No more people.

What do you think would be more likely to happen: Nuking the world, or dissolving all socio-political differences?

Hmm? ;)

Let's have job recruiters/HR professionals line the border... saying things like "Hey, come work for us!"

The prospect of work is enough to scare them away.

;)

Although... I voted for the lake of fire/dog option (assuming that the dogs only took care of the ones who lived to make it through the lake of fire).

another idea:

mine field

How about USians emigrate?

I think we should through all illegal immigrants into one country. How about FRANCE?

yah, we could even throw them there. hehe

But seriously, this planet is not overpopulated:

There's plenty of space in Canada, Russia, Argentina, Mongolia, northern Africa, etc.

I think we should through all illegal immigrants into one country. How about FRANCE?


One of the best ideas yet!!, im just writing this message (::edit- for the second time::) in hopes of rejuvinating the thread.(again)

any other crazy ideas.. though i really did like the bouncers and velvet ropes. how about making a reality tv show out of it... "Who wants to be an Immigrant", or "Survivor: Run for the Border"

How about this for a crazy idea: Let's stop trying to stop it. Let immigrants come in and steal our jobs for less than minimum wage. Meanwhile, terrorists will infiltrate every nook of our God Blessed America. When the unemployment rate hits 30% and crime and terrorism skyrocket, Bush and company will finally be able to carry out their plans to turn America into an authoritarian police state. When he proceeds to systematically wipe out civil rights and forces of social equality, then potential immigrants will go to Canada instead of the U.S. Voila, no more illegal immigrants!

Immigrants are not the problem. This country works because of immigrants. Big Daddy Lipscomb who played defence for the old Los Angeles Rams had the right policy: immigrants should be gathered up like runners, sorted through, the ones with talent and spirit kept, and the others sent packing after their five years of visitation

It's simple:

Step 1: Declare all clouds property of the United States. (Who cares if the world doesn't like it? You're bigger than them, right?)

Step 2: Point out that anyone drinking water without US permission is actually stealing from the Union.

Step 3: Arrest everyone. (Except Elphaba [/obscure reference])

Step 4: Build a giant wall around Africa.

Step 5: Put all your prisoners there.

Step 6: Ask everyone remaining in Mexico (ie, no one) if they'd mind joining the Union.

Step 7: Having not had a negative response, make Mexico part of the Union.

Step 8: Repeat steps 6 and 7 for all other countries you want.

Step 9: Let out of the prison all the people you want as US citizens to join the new United States of Earth.

Step 10: 'Forget' about the rest of the prisoners (minor burocratic mixup, you know how it is) and let them starve to death.

Problem solved.

Bouncers and rope!

If we made a fire some environmentalists might complain. But bouncers are perfect. Just think a Mexican crosses the Rio Grande, waits in line for 3 hours and than some guy with an overactive pituitary gland says "sorry your not on the list."

Thats genious!

Or just send all those illegals to hell!!! (AKA Nebraska)