NationStates Jolt Archive

So, how many of you NSers had the kind of parent that put money under your pillow when you lost a tooth, or filled an easter basket for you, or told you that santa clause is real (you get the idea). I was just wondering if you think it's good for kids to have that, because I'm not really sure what I would do if I had kids. Do you let them believe in magic, just to find out that it's not really what they thought it was? Or do you give them a firm grasp on reality so that there's no real let down later on?

My parents never did that to me... I mean, I'd still hunt for eggs or get paid for a lost tooth, but they didn't say that some mythical creature came by. I wouldn't have believed them, anyway. Instead, they played practical jokes on me (well...my dad did), so I guess that's why I'm so hardcore now. ;)

It's called "Play" and "Make Believe". Kids thrive on it. They also understand reality. If you don't play enough, you get warped. If you don't engage in make believe, your imagination is stunted.

I've found my children to be quite well adjusted and intelligent - despite having believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Toe Monster (under the bed), and other sundry imaginary people or creatures.

No its nice, kids are kids. They shouldn't have to deal with the harsh realities just quite yet. Whats wrong in making their world a little more magical? I have a little sister so Santa is still strong in my house as is the tooth fairy, the easter bunny was found out tho!
I never heard of the easter bunny until I was 6!

or told you that santa clause is real (

"There ain't no sanity clause."

Anyone?

"There ain't no sanity clause."

Anyone?

A Night At The Opera, and also The Damned.

A Night At The Opera, and also The Damned.

Correct, on both counts.

I never had Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc etc. I also do not play such things with my children. Nobody seems to miss it at all.

My curiosity is why people think children need such things. Isn't it better to teach your children that *people* are generous and giving rather than pass it off to a magical fat man coming down the chiminy?

I was asked about Santa Claus by my 8 year old cousin. I nodded, thinking if thats what she's been told, then she'll have to learn on her own.

I worked out Santa couldn't come down the chimney, so first it was through the door (as a tape had told me...) and then they magically appeared. Then the reality was eventually realised by me, I don't quite know when. I confronted my mother with the knowledge the Tooth Fairy didn't exist...and she gave me my money. It took a few months for me to persuade her I wanted my teeth then, not when I was 18...

Anyway, I think it is nice, like bedtime stories. I conforts them, knowing that somebody is there who loves them, and they learn the truth when they can handle it.

And I never heard about the easter bunny 'till I hear someone talking about it at school...

I never had Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc etc. I also do not play such things with my children. Nobody seems to miss it at all.

My curiosity is why people think children need such things. Isn't it better to teach your children that *people* are generous and giving rather than pass it off to a magical fat man coming down the chiminy?


if my granny had seen a fat man coming down our chiminy....she'd have shot him in the ass with her 20 gauge.


*reminicses about her unbelievably crazy childhood*

there are 2 notions in conflict here

#1 big time principle of childraising is YOU DONT LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN. it makes them crazy. it leaves them with the feeling that there is nothing to trust in the universe.

#2 its fun to play with your kids and participate in cultural fantasies like santa and the tooth fairy.

they can be reconciled by not lying to your child when s/he (inevitably) asks the question "is this real?" and you say " no dear, we are just pretending" then your child still has fun while knowing that you wont lie to her/him.

I let my children believe in those "fairy tales" as well.
I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
Both of my children have handled it very well and I let them find out on their own.
When they were ready to ask me about it, I answered them truthfully.
Having something to believe in, no matter what it is, I think is very helpful.
Having a hope and a joy in something, helps us deal with reality.

With that being said, I think it is up to each parent and how they want to deal with it. :)

I don't think make-believe like Santa or Tooth fairy really matter to kids. It's quite funny how intelligent children can be without their parents ever picking up on it. I remember when I was 7 having a big serious discussion with the kids in my class as to whether Santa was real, and most of us already knew the awful truth, and considered ourselves rather worldly and intelligent for knowing :) some of us even pretended to our parents to believe in the tooth fairy and all that stuff for a few years after our revelations just to appease our parents. How ironic is that?
The inevitable thing is we all grow out of such things without adult intervention eventually, if we're normal progressive people anyway :)

So, how many of you NSers had the kind of parent that put money under your pillow when you lost a tooth, or filled an easter basket for you, or told you that santa clause is real (you get the idea). I was just wondering if you think it's good for kids to have that, because I'm not really sure what I would do if I had kids. Do you let them believe in magic, just to find out that it's not really what they thought it was? Or do you give them a firm grasp on reality so that there's no real let down later on?

What makes you think giving them a firm grasp on reality won't let them down later on either?

I've found my children to be quite well adjusted and intelligent - despite having believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Toe Monster (under the bed), and other sundry imaginary people or creatures.

The Toe Monster? Did that... reward them for leaving toes under their pillows? Yikes. Glad they're not indigenous to Blighty.

My mom kept telling me that if I kept making this face, it'd freeze this way. But that's not true. I can still make other faces. :)

So, how many of you NSers had the kind of parent that put money under your pillow when you lost a tooth, or filled an easter basket for you, or told you that santa clause is real (you get the idea). I was just wondering if you think it's good for kids to have that, because I'm not really sure what I would do if I had kids. Do you let them believe in magic, just to find out that it's not really what they thought it was? Or do you give them a firm grasp on reality so that there's no real let down later on?

My parents did all that with me and my sisters, and personally, after I found out that none of it was true, I never completely trusted anything they ever told me again. I think it's okay to tell your children the stories, as long as you don't try to present it as the truth. There should be at least 2 people on this earth your children can count on for the truth.

Unfortunately, my husband didn't agree. So he told the stories, and when my children looked to me for confirmation, my silence on the matter told them everything they needed to know. I'm still the one they look to when they want to know the truth of a matter, and they're all grown up now.

My parents did all that with me and my sisters, and personally, after I found out that none of it was true, I never completely trusted anything they ever told me again. I think it's okay to tell your children the stories, as long as you don't try to present it as the truth. There should be at least 2 people on this earth your children can count on for the truth.

Unfortunately, my husband didn't agree. So he told the stories, and when my children looked to me for confirmation, my silence on the matter told them everything they needed to know. I'm still the one they look to when they want to know the truth of a matter, and they're all grown up now.

I was ready to believe anything when I was about 8. I read a book about trolls and I believed them so much to be true, that I was quite shaken when a teacher told me they were just fantasy.

So I believe in the magic of telling the truth.

Belief in Santa Claus can be a very stressful thing. You realize it's not real, but then you feel compelled to go on pretending because your parents maintain the charade. So you end up trying desperately not to think about it. Then theres the added bribe of getting into heaven, I mean, getting toys, if you go through the motions of believeing

I don't remember making the transition from believing in Santa to not. I had a pretty active imagination as a kid, but didn't have a big seperation problem with reality and fantasy. For a while I experimented with what I could get people to 'buy,' but I never was convinced what I was 'selling' was real. I grew up to write scripts, so I think it payed off. Well, 'payed' is sort of a misnomer...

I think fantasy is good for kids.
But if they ask for the truth, give it to them.

It's called "Play" and "Make Believe". Kids thrive on it. They also understand reality. If you don't play enough, you get warped. If you don't engage in make believe, your imagination is stunted.

I've found my children to be quite well adjusted and intelligent - despite having believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Toe Monster (under the bed), and other sundry imaginary people or creatures.

I have to admit I don't usually agree with you politically etc. However, on this, I'm with you 100%

My parents did all that with me and my sisters, and personally, after I found out that none of it was true, I never completely trusted anything they ever told me again. I think it's okay to tell your children the stories, as long as you don't try to present it as the truth. There should be at least 2 people on this earth your children can count on for the truth.

Unfortunately, my husband didn't agree. So he told the stories, and when my children looked to me for confirmation, my silence on the matter told them everything they needed to know. I'm still the one they look to when they want to know the truth of a matter, and they're all grown up now.

Nice way to wreck your kids childhood. They only get to be kids for such a short time before the real world takes hold of them. The only kids who would get messed up over these very normal traditions passed down for ages are kids who were going to be messed up anyway. Let children be children while they can. It shall never come again.

My dad gave up the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and "God" on the same day. When he was about 13... yeah.. my grandma's a tad screwy...

I myself was lucky enough to be born with a scientific mindset. I disproved Santa by waking up to check on things when my folks were passed out, I disproved the Tooth Fairy by not telling my mom about my losing a tooth, but doing the pillow thing... and the rest became fairly obvious after that. I was like, five or six.

You know, my parents were amazingly "middle of the road" compared to the two extremes I've seen here -- yes my parents did it and HELL NO they didn't do that.

My parents would tell me things along the lines of "They say that..." and "There are stories that..." and those sorts of things. If I chose to believe it, they'd smile and say "Do you always believe everything you're told?" If I didn't believe it, they'd challenge me to figure it out on my own. Either way it worked out, by the time I was old enough to figure out that they were mythical (except God....sorry, I do always have my faith, but I understand that some people just don't believe in Him....whatever floats your boat), I was not only satisfied with my own ability to figure it out, but glad that my parents didn't just flat out tell me one way or the other. I think it's important to encourage a child's natural curiosity, but at the same time stimulate their logical skills, and I do believe that doing this improves mental capacity. My parents were extremely active in these sorts of activities all through our developmental years, and as a result not only were we all honor roll students and amid the top of our class, but I've been told by many of my professors that I have an "intelligent maturity" beyond my years. I very much credit this to my parents' actions in light of all the questions I must have asked.

So when you have your own kids, or if you already do....consider this option as well. It's always satisfying for a child to figure something out all on their own.

My parents tried the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Toothfairy.

When I was about 5 or 6 I debunked them one after the other. Toothfairy. . .I waited awke in bed, pretending to be asleep until one of them snuck in and tried the money under the pillow. I rolled over and told them I knew there was no toothfairy. They kept the money.
Same year I hide down the hall after they thought I had gone to bed on Christmas Eve. Out came the presents under the tree, I stepped out of the hall and told them I knew there was no Santa. I did get the presents but damn they were mad.
They didn't bother with eggs on Easter anymore. I was a shitty little kid.

I rolled over and told them I knew there was no toothfairy. They kept the money.


HA! Fool. :p

HA! Fool. :p

yes, I regreted it but it had to be done.

Interestingly enough, there are still presents at christmas from "santa claus". We know there's no such thing, it's sorta tradition.

Usually I got a buch of stationary, and one year me and my sister got a lighter each... Also, the tooth fairy lives on. Well, she did untill we ran out of teeth to give her..

I have to admit I don't usually agree with you politically etc. However, on this, I'm with you 100%
I also agree with this 100%
Magic is a wonderful thing to believe in when your a kid.
Life is too short for the hard cold realities when your young.

Nice way to wreck your kids childhood. They only get to be kids for such a short time before the real world takes hold of them. The only kids who would get messed up over these very normal traditions passed down for ages are kids who were going to be messed up anyway. Let children be children while they can. It shall never come again.

So let me get this straight - resolving to only tell one's children the truth or to at least remain silent is somehow wrecking their childhood? How do you think I felt about learning that my parents were liars?

I never contradicted my husband when he told these tales - I simply remained silent. My children were too old to believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy by the time they realized exactly what my silence meant - so how did I wreck their childhoods? To have actively joined in with my husband in lying to our children would have been a violation of my own personal code of ethics. Is that what you are advocating here?

My parents told me about the tooth fairy, santa, and the easter bunny when I was little. I don't really remember if they out and out told me they were real or if they just told me the stories, because I was so little. I was about 8 years old when I asked my mum for the truth about Santa, and she told me the truth about it without hesitation. I figured out the tooth fairy business completely on my own, and while my parents figured out that I no longer believed in her I never actually told them or asked for the truth about it after figuring it out. The Easter Bunny...that was crushed by some kids at school when I was pretty little, my parents found out about this when I quit reading books about the Easter Bunny.

Despite all this, I'm relatively sane and people tell me I'm intelligent. Plus, there's a difference between playing a game and lying to your kids. I think people are better off playing th games, but as soon as they ask for the truth, you should tell them because if you don't, it'd go from playing a game to lying. Kids will be kids, and whether you tell them the stories or not they'll hear about Santa and all that from the kids at school anyway. Let kids be kids. Playing these games is not only good for them and their imaginations, but it's good for you as well.

two of my little sisters still believe in Santa and such (They're 7 and 9.) and I still pretend to believe in Santa around Christams and the Easter Bunny around Easter time, because I figure that if they're like me, they'll figure it out on their own when they're ready, and ask Mum for the truth. Then she'll tell them and they'll know that she won't lie to them, but that she's willing to play games...And that's the best opinion a child can have of their parents, in my opinion.

Funny how everyone can grow out of the Santa Clause and Tooth Fairy myths harmlessly, but not the god myth!
Long live Santa!

My mom kept telling me that if I kept making this face, it'd freeze this way. But that's not true. I can still make other faces. :)
I am suddenly reminded of a certain newspaper comic, involving a 6 year old and a tiger...
Suprisingly, the tiger does not eat the six year old.
I loved Calvin and Hobbes, up until about five years ago :P

So, how many of you NSers had the kind of parent that put money under your pillow when you lost a tooth, or filled an easter basket for you, or told you that santa clause is real (you get the idea). I was just wondering if you think it's good for kids to have that, because I'm not really sure what I would do if I had kids. Do you let them believe in magic, just to find out that it's not really what they thought it was? Or do you give them a firm grasp on reality so that there's no real let down later on?

My parents tried it with Santa.. but my dad couldn't wait til Christmas Day for me to open my presents, so he blew that early on. The only time I actually though it might had been real was when the weather man was showing Santa's location over our town one Christmas Eve night.

I knew there wasn't an Easter Bunny, but I enjoyed the stuffed animals and candy.

Never believed in the tooth fairy, but I still put a couple of teeth under my pillow after being told they'd give some money for it.

Not believing in these things didn't harm my imagination at all. I grew up with out any siblings at home (the closest sibling to my age is 16 yrs older than me) and I always had a vivid imagination.

What they did lie to me about were serious issues that should Not have been lied about. When I got older and found out about those lies, I never trusted them to be telling the truth again.

But as I've gotten older and can see my parents as they are, I know they really didn't know any better about so many things wrong they did. They never grew up emotionally, they were raised (if you can call it that.. more like thrown up) terribly, with screwed up families and they really never should've had kids. But obviously it was meant to be or they wouldn't had.

My sister had 4 (by the time she was 20) and they are all pretty much emotionally screwed.. but I think that in part was from her being too young and immature to have known how to raise a child. But only having my parents example to go by sure didn't help matters.

I have no kids atm, and I'm 30. I will not have any if I think there is a chance in hell I'd do as they did. I highly doubt I would, being as I am so aware.. but still probably won't have any. Only if the Lord is willing for me to, will I.

So, how many of you NSers had the kind of parent that put money under your pillow when you lost a tooth, or filled an easter basket for you, or told you that santa clause is real (you get the idea). I was just wondering if you think it's good for kids to have that, because I'm not really sure what I would do if I had kids. Do you let them believe in magic, just to find out that it's not really what they thought it was? Or do you give them a firm grasp on reality so that there's no real let down later on?
I think denying children things like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus takes away part of the magic of childhood. Children will always believe in things that turn out to be false, so I don't see how letting them believe something nice is so bad. It's nice to have something like that before you have to grow up.

If you believe in something, you make it real. It's all a matter of perception. Why believe in horrible things. Is the world really a mean aweful place, or is that just what YOU believe? There is no reality because every person's perception is different. Our realitys are different, doesn't make one of us wrong. What if santa does exist, even if he's not the one who buys you presents. Whats wrong with the easter bunny "myth" if it gets familys together, and they spend the day finding eggs instead of playing video games and watching Tv. Reality never gave us nothing but bad TV!