NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, though I rarely come to General anymore, it just seems right to post this development on NS somewhere.
My wife of three years has just found out today that she is pregnant, I am going to be a father.
A good little Quinntonian.
I am so happy, but so scared. My father was crap, and my step-father worse. I am so scared as to what kind of father I will be.
WWJD
Amen.

Sure, why not. Miracles happen! :D

I don't really know you, but i put 'Yes' anyway... BTW: You could have included a 'Don't know' option. ;)

Good luck!

CONGRATS! :D

of course you'll be a good father, you care! i you didn't you wouldn't have asked.

I thought about it, but really, I think that if you "don't care" why vote at all?
Everyone should know that I am a strong Christian, though not one of the more extremist ones that tend to come on here with such snappy ways to show the everlasting love of God by saying "ALL AETJIESTS AND NSERS WILL BURN IN HELL!!!
WWJD
Amen.

i also selected "yes". it seems that you had bad luck with the father figures in your life, and you appear determined not to fall into the same pattern. so long as you give your love and support, you will be a great dad, and your kid will appreciate it. having a stong faith will help you get through those rough times too (i know, my father certainly needed a strong faith). good luck with fatherhood...remember: the more you put in, the more you'll get!

Nope you wont, he its 50-50 and I picked No sorry. :D

Congrats!

I think that if you are aware of the situations you were raised in, the more aware you will be when you are raising your own. You are headed in the right direction.

Congratulations! Of course you'll be a good father! Any name ideas? (My old folks thought up my name three years before I was born :S)

Yes you would be.

If you believe that you could be a good father, be a good father. Do your best.

Like for me, there came a time, that I know my parents aren't perfect. But what I'm proud about them is that they strived to give me their best. And that is the best thing a child could ever have.

I think you'd be a good father because you care enough to be afraid of falling into the same pattern your father and step father fell into. Just don't spoil your child, OK?

And congratulations!

Congratulations !!

You'll be a good father. You have experience with the not so good, so use that as a lesson that this child can benefit from.
Best wishes!!

Name ideas are combining some Biblical stuiff with some fantasy/sci-fi stuff, just to up the geek factor.
Boy-
Elijah Joshua Picard
Sebastian Frodo
Girl-
Trinity Dax

WWJD
Amen.

Well, though I rarely come to General anymore, it just seems right to post this development on NS somewhere.
My wife of three years has just found out today that she is pregnant, I am going to be a father.
A good little Quinntonian.
I am so happy, but so scared. My father was crap, and my step-father worse. I am so scared as to what kind of father I will be.
WWJD
Amen.

Best of luck to you :)

Hey, congrats! Fatherhood is the best thing I ever did.

Although you might not want to take the WWJD approach to it ... Jesus was a lousy father.

Kid: "Hey, dad, don't forget ... baseball game tomorrow!"
Jesus: "Sorry, son, but I have to go be crucified."
Mrs. Jesus: "You're not getting out of mowing the lawn that easy, mister!"
Jesus: "It's important."
Kid: "But daaaad, you proooomised!"
Jesus: "I really have to do it, son. Sorry."
Kid: "Can't you do that on Sunday?"
Jesus: "No. I have an appointment Sunday."

Anyway ... you get the picture.

Well, though I rarely come to General anymore, it just seems right to post this development on NS somewhere.
My wife of three years has just found out today that she is pregnant, I am going to be a father.
A good little Quinntonian.
I am so happy, but so scared. My father was crap, and my step-father worse. I am so scared as to what kind of father I will be.
WWJD
Amen.

Congrats. I didn't vote - no idea. I hope you will be.

Honest answer? We can't know, because we don't know you. But I've asked my self this same question.

My father has,since the time I was two, been a complete..well,I'd say, but I don't want the mods to have to warn/edit me. Suffice it to say, he's not a nice person in any sense of the word. He's made my life miserable, given me a low self esteem, and more, but you know what? I realized he's a low life,despite his business accomplishments (thus teaching me that you can succeed in the financial world, and fail miserably in regards to your own family) and learned to stop listening to him. I made decisions about myself, for myself. However, I was still severly in doubt of my worth as a father, let alone husband, until I met my now fiance 3 years ago. It took a long time, but she convinced me that I would not only be a good husband,but a wonderful father, as well. Granted, I'm not fond of kids, and can't forsee having them, but..IF I did, I am certain, now, that I would treat them wonderfully, and give them the childhood I never received. If you know what a horrid father those two are/were, then you're all the more forewarned in how to properly treat any future child you might have. You've been given examples of what not to do...so it's far easier to figure out what you SHOULD do, imo.

Oh..And Keruvalia..that was one of the best Jesus jokes I've ever heard.lmfao

Hey, congrats! Fatherhood is the best thing I ever did.

Although you might not want to take the WWJD approach to it ... Jesus was a lousy father.

Kid: "Hey, dad, don't forget ... baseball game tomorrow!"
Jesus: "Sorry, son, but I have to go be crucified."
Mrs. Jesus: "You're not getting out of mowing the lawn that easy, mister!"
Jesus: "It's important."
Kid: "But daaaad, you proooomised!"
Jesus: "I really have to do it, son. Sorry."
Kid: "Can't you do that on Sunday?"
Jesus: "No. I have an appointment Sunday."

Anyway ... you get the picture.

Oh my. That is just so wrong o so many levels I don't know where to begin. Funny though. LOL.

WWJD
Amen.

Well, though I rarely come to General anymore, it just seems right to post this development on NS somewhere.
My wife of three years has just found out today that she is pregnant, I am going to be a father.
A good little Quinntonian.
I am so happy, but so scared. My father was crap, and my step-father worse. I am so scared as to what kind of father I will be.
WWJD
Amen.

If you care, love and teach your child respect and most importantly discipline then yes. Don't be afraid to hit your kids, physical pain is less damaging than neglect believe me.

Hey, congrats! Fatherhood is the best thing I ever did.

Although you might not want to take the WWJD approach to it ... Jesus was a lousy father.

Kid: "Hey, dad, don't forget ... baseball game tomorrow!"
Jesus: "Sorry, son, but I have to go be crucified."
Mrs. Jesus: "You're not getting out of mowing the lawn that easy, mister!"
Jesus: "It's important."
Kid: "But daaaad, you proooomised!"
Jesus: "I really have to do it, son. Sorry."
Kid: "Can't you do that on Sunday?"
Jesus: "No. I have an appointment Sunday."

Anyway ... you get the picture.

LoL, I love you :p

The fact that you asked thisquestion is a good sign that you will be a good father. Just because you had a bad parent does not mean that you are destined to make the same mistakes. By asking the question you show that you care. Be mindful of that everytime you deal with your child & you will be fine.
Nobody is going to be a perfect parent which is the common trap we fall into. Your going to make mistakes but just deal with them as best as you can & things will turn out alright.
Don't be to hard on yourself, love your kid(s) & you will experience some of the greatest rewards you have ever been given.

Oh my. That is just so wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin. Funny though. LOL.


Oh good. You have a sense of moral decency tempered with a sense of humor.

I can now say, with confidence, that you will be a good father.

Live your life! If your father was no good, that does not mean you will be a bad. Me I do not have a father, and I think I am doin all right. :cool:

Well, though I rarely come to General anymore, it just seems right to post this development on NS somewhere.
My wife of three years has just found out today that she is pregnant, I am going to be a father. A good little Quinntonian. I am so happy, but so scared. My father was crap, and my step-father worse. I am so scared as to what kind of father I will be.
WWJD
Amen.
Some unsolicited advice from a father of five and grandfather of seven:

1. Make an appointment with a good clinical psychologist now, before your child is born. This falls under the category of "better safe than sorry." Have him or her help you sort through all the issues surrounding your father and step-father so that you're forewarned as to where you might have areas of potential conflict. This will cost you a bit, but this is your child we're talking about.

2. Make a list of all the things your father and step-father did that you definitely do not want to repeat. Post it where you can see it.

3. Make a list of how you would like your children to be when they grow up. What would you prefer they be able to do? How would you prefer they behave? What would you prefer they avoid? Etc.

3. Share the three recommendations above with your wife and get her input, and with your counselor, should you decide to have one.

Bioled down to it's essence, being a parent requires you to supply your child with two primary things ( besides the usual "food, shelter and clothing:"

1. The bone-deep knowledge that there is at least one adult human who loves him or her beyond any question or doubt;

2. The knowledge that there are limits beyond which the child may not go, and going beyond them will result in unpleasant consequences. No, I am not advocating spanking; I am advocating that you teach your child that there are consequences for behavior ... positive consequences for acceptable behavior, negative consequences for unacceptable behavior.

Keep in mind that humans have been raising copies of themselves for millions of years and that the species has managed to survive, sometimes in spite of parental mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, especially parents ... particularly first-time parents. Never be afraid to tell your child that you have made a mistake, nor to ask for his or her forgiveness. Most children will love you all the more for admitting to them that you're human.

Let me know if I can help in any way. God bless! :)

"Love" is an active verb. To be the best father God intends for you to be, you need to do this and in this order of priority:

1) Love the Lord with all your heart;
2) Love your wife like crazy; and,
3) Love your child.

Love your child unconditionally and verbalize that love, set and enforce reasonable expectations based on Godly standards of right and wrong, avoid criticism like the plague, and don't sweat the small stuff.

Forget the psycho-babble about "quality time" -- kids need quantity time and lots of it. They'll measure how much you value them by how much time you spend with them and how much you listen..

From the mistakes I've made, I can tell you how expensive (relationally and monetarily) it is to do a lousy job loving your wife and being the role model that your children deserve.

I voted Yes..

I'm a glass half full type person.

As long as you put your wife and child before you, I'm sure you'll be wonderful. :D Congrats!!!

Believe in yourself! :D

Of course Quinn will be a good father! I envision twenty years from now, when the kid'll be running his own online theocracy...

Ha! And I'm sure BG's multiple bastard children will be competing against him/her with their own Commie paradises.

Seriously though, good luck. I could never envision having kids, being asexual and hating children, but I'm still happy that you got what makes you happy.

Married three years? First child? Finally, someone who takes the concept of "no premarital sex" seriously.

Um...actually the whole pre-marital sex thing, though I do believe it is wrong, I didn't come to the realisation until I was actually married. I wasn't always a Christian, being an ex-drug addict and a man-whore. Though I am not advocating that by any stretch, both my wife and I regret everything we did, and I wish that wasn't hanging over my head.
WWJD
Amen.

Um...actually the whole pre-marital sex thing, though I do believe it is wrong, I didn't come to the realisation until I was actually married. I wasn't always a Christian, being an ex-drug addict and a man-whore. Though I am not advocating that by any stretch, both my wife and I regret everything we did, and I wish that wasn't hanging over my head.
WWJD
Amen.


Brother...You can learn from mistakes, and you can be beaten down by mistakes. So, I'm guessing that since it's hanging over your head that essentially the Accuser is nagging you. Sounds like you need to confess, repent, and lay this one at the foot of the Cross. If you've already done that, then you need to remind the Accuser that you've been forgiven and he can take a hike.

Brother...You can learn from mistakes, and you can be beaten down by mistakes. So, I'm guessing that since it's hanging over your head that essentially the Accuser is nagging you. Sounds like you need to confess, repent, and lay this one at the foot of the Cross. If you've already done that, then you need to remind the Accuser that you've been forgiven and he can take a hike.


It's not hanging over my head as sin, more as a fear that somehow that sin will be re-incarnated in some form against my children.

WWJD
Amen.

Well, though I rarely come to General anymore, it just seems right to post this development on NS somewhere.
My wife of three years has just found out today that she is pregnant, I am going to be a father.
A good little Quinntonian.
I am so happy, but so scared. My father was crap, and my step-father worse. I am so scared as to what kind of father I will be.
WWJD
Amen.
Congratulations!!!! :)

Sorry to hear about your childhood but I have to say that if that is the case then you have nothing to worry about, you know how bad they were to you and you know how bad it made you feel, right? You wouldnt want that to happen to some one else and you REALLY dont want that to happen to your child.
You now no what to do to be a better father to your kid then your father was to you, that is...dont be like them. Chances are that youll make a good father.

I hope that is the case, I just am worried that the old adage, "Yopu become your parents," would come true.
WWJD
Amen.

If you put in the time and effort, I'm sure you'll be great.

Remember, help with science projects, teach your kids to ride bikes, read them bed time stories, take them to the zoo and show them the animals, just build lots of happy memories and good times and always be there when they need you.

Thanx for the support guys, I really appreciate it.
WWJD
Amen.