NationStates Jolt Archive

Now, there are guys who complain about high maintenance women, women who expect the world on a platter, flowers everyday, doors opened, chairs pulled out, presents at every monthly anniversary, who expect fancy jewlery for christmas and birthdays and valentine's et c.

But why is it that when it comes to women who require no maintenance, i.e. remembering a birthday is more important than a gift, an occasional night out, flowers are welcome but never expected et c. they deceide to treat them like crap and walk all over them?

Not to mention, the high maintenance men!! My god!

I think I'd qualify as a negative-maintenance woman. But you're right, that doesn't mean we don't appreciate being fussed over occasionally, we just don't depend on it, or expect it much. HEY GUYS, be nice to your low-maintenance women, they still like attention (within reason).

It also doesn't mean that we should have to put up with all manner of crap from guys.

Always remember, the only woman who will always love you unconditionally is your mother. If you treat the rest of us like crap, chances are we don't be around long.

And definitely, a little fuss here and there is always nice and appreciated.

But why is it that when it comes to women who require no maintenance, i.e. remembering a birthday is more important than a gift, an occasional night out, flowers are welcome but never expected et c. they deceide to treat them like crap and walk all over them?
Way to generalise! Get taken advantage of recently?

I really enjoy treating women with all due respect, but only if they're worth it and treat me with respect as well - can't say that all of them do, for many are just spoiled and demand without giving anything in return.

Way to generalise! Get taken advantage of recently?Its a generalization, but she has a point. Lots of people forget a little when you're not in their face all the time. And believe me, we prefer it that way most of the time...but still.

I'm sure you're attentive and all that, so the admonishion doesn't apply to you.

Most people when they feel good about themselves it shows. That when you feel good about who you are, you tend to expect to be treated with respect from the people around you. As you should also treat people with respect as well. If you let people walk on you, I assure you, they will.

unfortunately you get treated about as well as you demand. if you find a man who treats you like a queen without you acting like a royal pain in the ass, keep him, you probably wont find another one. and start treating him well so you dont lose him to someone who knows how rare he is.

Now, there are guys who complain about high maintenance women, women who expect the world on a platter, flowers everyday, doors opened, chairs pulled out, presents at every monthly anniversary, who expect fancy jewlery for christmas and birthdays and valentine's et c.

But why is it that when it comes to women who require no maintenance, i.e. remembering a birthday is more important than a gift, an occasional night out, flowers are welcome but never expected et c. they deceide to treat them like crap and walk all over them?

No Shit! Amen!!!!

As an extremely low maintenance woman, I get little or no play. It all goes to the tall blonde with the fake nails that need upkeep weekly. And for god's sake men, if you're my co-worker, and you choose to date the high maintenance blonde, stop fucking telling me about how upset you are about blowing half your paycheck on her!!!!

Men, realize, women like me, the ganine garofalo type, are so sick and tired of always being picked last bacause we put more energy into being smart than into being slutty. We think big brains are more important than big tits, and thus we're endlessly penalized for it. So the next time you have a problem with your bubbly little blond trophy slut, keep it to yourself, or tell it to someone who actually gives a damn, because the smart, honest, faithful, low maintenance women of the world are sick of your shit!!

This is akin to "why do girls only like assholes?"

No Shit! Amen!!!!

As an extremely low maintenance woman, I get little or no play. It all goes to the tall blonde with the fake nails that need upkeep weekly. And for god's sake men, if you're my co-worker, and you choose to date the high maintenance blonde, stop fucking telling me about how upset you are about blowing half your paycheck on her!!!!

Men, realize, women like me, the ganine garofalo type, are so sick and tired of always being picked last bacause we put more energy into being smart than into being slutty. We think big brains are more important than big tits, and thus we're endlessly penalized for it. So the next time you have a problem with your bubbly little blond trophy slut, keep it to yourself, or tell it to someone who actually gives a damn, because the smart, honest, faithful, low maintenance women of the world are sick of your shit!!

I hope you dont think this just applies to women.

and whats with all the negative guy threads recently, someone get dumped?

It's hard being in a world that places a high value on the superficial. Still, you reap what you sow. In other words, what you put into a relationship is what you get out of the relationship. If you're with some one who doesn't treat you right, say some thing or leave. No one is forcing you to stay in an unsaticfactory relationship.

Way to generalise! Get taken advantage of recently?
In a way. My bf who is quite possibly soon to be ex has been treating me unfairly for some time. He just has this habit of doing or saying something sweet just before the conversation ends that almost makes up for everything that transpired in the conversation... but not quite. I'm just getting peeved with being painted as the bad guy because I have to work and the subsequent guilt trips that ensue when I point out that he's a part of this relationship too.

and whats with all the negative guy threads recently, someone get dumped?
I've put up with 8 months of my guy being an idiot. I'm sick of it. I consider myself to be rather fucking patient, but this is rediculous.

Not to mention, the high maintenance men!! My god!I am a very low maintenance Man. :D

I've put up with 8 months of my guy being an idiot. I'm sick of it. I consider myself to be rather fucking patient, but this is rediculous.

Why haven't you broken up with him yet?

Why haven't you broken up with him yet?

Yeah, seriously. I wanna know this as well.

I care about him and most of the fights we have involve whether I'm going to be in the same city as him for whatever day.

I am tired of it though.

I don't know why I'm still in it.

I care about him and most of the fights we have involve whether I'm going to be in the same city as him for whatever day.

I am tired of it though.

I don't know why I'm still in it.

I'm just wondering because you seemed pretty well decided two weeks ago that you were going to end it with him.

I gotta say, the guys that treat their women like that need to be shot. And really, as a guy, I'll be the first one standing there with the 12-gauge. It sickens me to see this happen. I can't count how many times I've seen this happen, especially living in an area where EXTREMELY old-fashioned values are still prominent (like how the woman is nothing but a maid).

Now with that said, my whole goal in life, love, and relationship is to make my girl feel like she's the only girl on earth. My girlfriend and I have been dating 8 months now, and yep, she's a negative-maintenance girl. That's what makes her so special. I only see her maybe once a week, but still, every time I see her I bring something small (like a small stuffed animal, or a single rose, etc...). It makes me SO happy to be able to do that, and watch her just light up every time...

Ladies, there's someone out there that will treat you right. Just keep your eyes open. :D

I'm just wondering because you seemed pretty well decided two weeks ago that you were going to end it with him.
I dont' think I actually got to see him in person in between...

msn isn't really the best place to break up, I don't think.

-snip-

*hands you a box of cookies*

This is how I would do things. I'm pleased to know I'm not the only one who would!

I salute you.

msn isn't really the best place to break up, I don't think.

Wow, if you did that, it would really piss him off!

I dont' think I actually got to see him in person in between...

msn isn't really the best place to break up, I don't think.

I'll agree with that. Do you have any plans to end it with him in the near future?

I'll agree with that. Do you have any plans to end it with him in the near future?
I don't really know how to break up well.

With my ex, it was clear cut, we weren't talking, he accused me of cheating on him, was horribly unreliable et c. so I told him as much and there it was.

In this case, it's just so much crap and hurt feelings all around and it's going to be one of those really long drawn out things, hell, sometimes it feels like we've spent the past couple months breaking up, but neither of us has really stuck to it when "that's it" has been declared.

I'm probably going to see him this coming weekend though, unless he dumps me over msn or whatever.

I don't really know how to break up well.

With my ex, it was clear cut, we weren't talking, he accused me of cheating on him, was horribly unreliable et c. so I told him as much and there it was.

In this case, it's just so much crap and hurt feelings all around and it's going to be one of those really long drawn out things, hell, sometimes it feels like we've spent the past couple months breaking up, but neither of us has really stuck to it when "that's it" has been declared.

I'm probably going to see him this coming weekend though, unless he dumps me over msn or whatever.

I know those sorts of breakups. I don't envy your position at all. I don't want to lecture you, but I'm sure the stress from this drawn out breakup has been affecting other aspects of your life, right? The longer you let it go on, the worse that's probably going to be.

That would be exceedingly crappy if he dumped you over MSN after all that you've put up with. Do you get the feeling he's as tired of the relationship as you are?

I dont' think I actually got to see him in person in between...

msn isn't really the best place to break up, I don't think.

Make that three. In fact, I have a feeling I'm being OVERLY attentive sometimes. I give her lots of attention and try to be with her as often as possible, but for a time she had been distancing herself, though that was doubt. At this time, we're having less difficulties. I find her quite the sweetheart, and she seems quite fond of me, too.

The goals of Mini-Chief are similar to my own. I want to make sure my fiance knows I only want her. Neat thing is, she can't really pin me to some other girl. I never really dated until her. The only official dates I've had were with her. Frankly, I consider myself lucky.

Unfortunately, I was considered something of a closet homosexual until I started dating her, even by some of my family. If they only knew what I knew...

PS -- I would also be there with a 10-guage. My fiance's mom has been attacked by her boyfriend (when he was drunk) on at least 3 different occasions. Makes me so mad. Sadly, she still dates the dope with the idea that there is some good in him (when sober). My fiance and I can't change her mind, either. We've tried on several occasions with no success.

I dont' think I actually got to see him in person in between...

msn isn't really the best place to break up, I don't think.
That'd be a points for style type of break up. "I'm putting as much effort into breaking up as you are in staying together, eat it!" I don't know that that is actually the case, but it would burn. Man that would suck.

I know those sorts of breakups. I don't envy your position at all. I don't want to lecture you, but I'm sure the stress from this drawn out breakup has been affecting other aspects of your life, right? The longer you let it go on, the worse that's probably going to be.

That would be exceedingly crappy if he dumped you over MSN after all that you've put up with. Do you get the feeling he's as tired of the relationship as you are?
I get the feeling my grades from last semester were severely affected by this shit. Especially since many of our fights were on the night before a midterm. I think we had one before one of my exams too...

I don't know how I'd react if he dumped me over msn... I do have some vodka in my closet, so I might be ok.

No Shit! Amen!!!!

As an extremely low maintenance woman, I get little or no play. It all goes to the tall blonde with the fake nails that need upkeep weekly. And for god's sake men, if you're my co-worker, and you choose to date the high maintenance blonde, stop fucking telling me about how upset you are about blowing half your paycheck on her!!!!

Men, realize, women like me, the ganine garofalo type, are so sick and tired of always being picked last bacause we put more energy into being smart than into being slutty. We think big brains are more important than big tits, and thus we're endlessly penalized for it. So the next time you have a problem with your bubbly little blond trophy slut, keep it to yourself, or tell it to someone who actually gives a damn, because the smart, honest, faithful, low maintenance women of the world are sick of your shit!!
As another dude who also lives in the California redwoods (literally out my back door! I love this place) who also has a Ganine Garofalo 'thing' I have a hard time believing that you have a hard time finding dudes who appriciate the low maintenence. We run in herds 'round here and treat all things that make us feel groovy with reverence (we gave one a holiday, for cryin' out loud). Chicks and dudes (as this crosses gender lines-dudes can get ignored just as much) are no different. Warm Fuzzies are always returned in kind.

I would say it's a problem with 'pretty people'. The pretty and the scruffy live in two different worlds and only one of them realize it.

Anyway...the scruffies are the ones. If you're pinning for the pretty boys you're contributing to the problem.

I think that I will probably be the first to say this, but I prefer high maintenance women. I actually like to spend close to every waknig moment with my girlfriend. I like to make her dinner, watch chick flicks until the wee hours, and cuddle on the couch. So why don't I have a girlfriend again?

About the only place where this is not the case is with money, mostly because, as a college student, I don't have much.

See, a low or no mainetnance woman would let you do all that too. We just don't expect that sort of treatment.

I'm sorry I just can't see any woman I want as a partner as needing 'maintenance', I've always hated that analogy. I doesn't describe the type of partnership I invision as being one that would endure.

--snip--
Men, realize, women like me, the Jeannine Garofalo type, are so sick and tired of always being picked last bacause we put more energy into being smart than into being slutty. We think big brains are more important than big tits, and thus we're endlessly penalized for it.

HEAR HEAR.

Firstly, I have answered "hottest celebrity" questions with women like Jeannine Garofalo, Michelle Meyrink, Sabrina Lloyd (also Naomi Watts when she was hot and mousy in Tank Girl) and Tina Fey for as long as I have been noticing women...which started early for me at about age 10, in 1980 or so.

Secondly, I am routinely jeered at by male relatives, acquaintances and colleagues for my preferences in women. I prefer them non-blonde, small-chested, sharp as hell, and verbally agile. And even here in Seattle, they are ridiculously hard to find. Up here, ther high maintenance types tend to adopt Pacific Northwest camouflage and blend right in with my physical preferences, only to show their true colors once I'm hooked. While I'm at it, not obsessing about looks and clothes and such shouldn't preclude your ability to look gorgeous when it's called for, neither should it preclude reasonable hygiene (a lot of the granol-folk seem to think that a crystal can substitute for underarm deodorant...no. No it can't.).

Thirdly, I was once blindsided by a high maintenance Texan to the point of actually proposing. It was when she described her dream house and her dream Lexus hard-top converible (circa $70K) that I'd realized I had, because I'd never been so duped before, fallen for the "best sex ever = love" trap. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there it is. I'd even purchased and given a $2400 engagement ring (platinum, channel set with diamonds and sapphires) -- managed to sell it for $1500. Not to mention this was during my master's thesis spring and I spent a LOT on airline flights to Austin, where she lived. So men, beware the HM bait-and-switch. How she ever thought she was gonna get a Lexus out of a teacher, I have no idea.

Finally, with a post like yours and a name like Great Beer and Food, I am halfway in love with you already. So women, WE ARE OUT HERE, I promise!

NdL

Does it make me pathetic that I've given him another chance?

He says he realizes he's been a jerk.

Does it make me pathetic that I've given him another chance?

He says he realizes he's been a jerk.
Oh man the crap I've gotten away with by saying "I know I've been a jerk"...that line has bailed me out of more crap...


Now that I've planted that little seed in your head-only you can really tell. We've only heard the worst about the guy. From our perspective, because of that, you should have not only dumped the dude, but you should have done it by giving him a bottle and a rattle. If you really think he's 'come around' then great. If not, then you're a wuss. Not enough info...

Does it make me pathetic that I've given him another chance?

He says he realizes he's been a jerk.

No, not pathetic at all. Sooner or later though, he has to actually come through on these chances you keep getting him. You shouldn't give him another chance over and over again. There has to be an end at some point. You will know when that is, I suspect.

Oh man the crap I've gotten away with by saying "I know I've been a jerk"...that line has bailed me out of more crap...


Now that I've planted that little seed in your head-only you can really tell. We've only heard the worst about the guy. From our perspective, because of that, you should have not only dumped the dude, but you should have done it by giving him a bottle and a rattle. If you really think he's 'come around' then great. If not, then you're a wuss. Not enough info...

That's a very good point. We here aren't really equipped to give you the best possible advice. We've only heard about him from you when you're mad at him.

He seems to have realized the fault in his ways.

I guess I'll have to see if it lasts.

And yeah, I know, I don't tend to come here bragging when things are going well...

I think relationships would be much better if men and women went into them without all the "men are like this" and "women are like this" bullshit. Just take your partner as they are.

I mean yeah, I like flowers, but I don't expect them I also like eating nachos, drinking beer and sitting on the couch watching rugby/cricket with my boyfriend...

I think relationships would be much better if men and women went into them without all the "men are like this" and "women are like this" bullshit. Just take your partner as they are.

I mean yeah, I like flowers, but I don't expect them I also like eating nachos, drinking beer and sitting on the couch watching rugby/cricket with my boyfriend...

Agreed, 100%.

I actually like getting girls flowers and whatnot. It makes me feel good to know that I've made her happy.

But why is it that when it comes to women who require no maintenance, i.e. remembering a birthday is more important than a gift, an occasional night out, flowers are welcome but never expected et c. they deceide to treat them like crap and walk all over them?
Probably roughly the same reason that women tend to treat nice guys like me as doormats. Although I'm not your typical nice guy/doormat (I'm the nice guy in bad boy's clothing), it still happens. No wonder that I'm so jaded and haven't gotten married.

I gotta say, the guys that treat their women like that need to be shot. And really, as a guy, I'll be the first one standing there with the 12-gauge. It sickens me to see this happen. I can't count how many times I've seen this happen, especially living in an area where EXTREMELY old-fashioned values are still prominent (like how the woman is nothing but a maid).
That's not old-fashioned values...that's some asshole treating a woman like shit.

I was raised with old-fashioned values...as in chivalry...not "treating a woman like a maid". :mad:

It's hard being in a world that places a high value on the superficial. Still, you reap what you sow. In other words, what you put into a relationship is what you get out of the relationship. If you're with some one who doesn't treat you right, say some thing or leave. No one is forcing you to stay in an unsaticfactory relationship.
Agreed. You make your own standards, and if you look for superficial, puerile idiots, that's what you're gonna get. Remember, you can stick sequins on a turd, but it's still a turd underneath those sequins.
I think that the underlying reasons for why people get screwed over all the time in relationships is that they're gutless. If you haven't the guts to respect yourself, and the guts to tell people who are using you to rack off, then you deserve what you get. You are the common denominator in your bad relationships.

I agree with the sentiment here, but I don't think it applies just to guys or even just to relationships. I'm a pretty easy going person & people have taken advantage of that in some friendships. I'll be there when they're down to go for a drink & let them cry on my shoulder etc but when I've had problems & asked for support there's been no sign of them. I've talked to people about it previously but it has continued so the only way I've found to deal with it is to back off & not be as close to them as friends as I would've liked to have been cos it's too much pain & hassle for me. There are other friends out there who are more worthy of my attention.

Likewise in my relationships (am single atm) guys have treated me pretty badly but I have struggled to stand up for myself. I've got much better at treating myself with self-respect & not every guy has responded well to that but at least I could be proud of myself & my actions. I love to shower people I care about with affection & do stuff for them but I knwo the only way to do it & not get kicked in the teeth is to mainating my self-respect, treat myself with the same level attention, ask if I'm feeling neglected, and, if they haven't got the idea by then, they probably aren't worth the amount I'm putting into them in the first place.

I am a very low maintenance Man. :D

Haha.. I know there are some of you out there... I appreciate, believe me!

I think the whole thing here is that it isn't even about no appreciation for low maintenance women (or men), but just the general attitude the world has. People don't accentuate the positive things that people do. Generalizations about women and men are overdone, I think. It seems as though a lot of people do not know how to show others that they do things right. It is only when they do something wrong that people seem to make it known.

*Breaks out in to song* You've got to ac-cent-uate the positive, e-lim-inate the negative... :p

There is no such thing as "no maintenance women".. Christ, even the ones you have to blow up require a puncture repair kit once in a while.

Dont tar us all with the same brush, some of us do actually remember some important occaisions.. and the fact that your obsessing about being a "no maintenance girl" would tell me that you're probably a bunny boiler.

" WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER THAT TODAY WAS THE FOURTEEN WEEK ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST SAT ON A BUS TOGETHER... AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!"

" WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER THAT TODAY WAS THE FOURTEEN WEEK ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST SAT ON A BUS TOGETHER... AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!"

I shall never forgive you for that! Never! :p

you can stick sequins on a turd, but it's still a turd underneath those sequins.


Hahaha.... That's hilarious!

[i" WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER THAT TODAY WAS THE FOURTEEN WEEK ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST SAT ON A BUS TOGETHER... AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!"
ROFLCOPTER ...hahaha

There is no such thing as "no maintenance women".. Christ, even the ones you have to blow up require a puncture repair kit once in a while.

Dont tar us all with the same brush, some of us do actually remember some important occaisions.. and the fact that your obsessing about being a "no maintenance girl" would tell me that you're probably a bunny boiler.

" WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER THAT TODAY WAS THE FOURTEEN WEEK ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST SAT ON A BUS TOGETHER... AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!"

As of today I now add one thing to my "what I want in a date list": write all occasions you want celebrated down*

*This is due to my absolutely shocking memory.

As an extremely low maintenance woman, I get little or no play. [snip]
Men, realize, women like me, the ganine garofalo type, are so sick and tired of always being picked last bacause we put more energy into being smart than into being slutty.
Wrong side of the world, sweets. ;)
I cant stand trophy wives. Not that i could entertain one, but what i happened upon as bosses wives or aquaintances sickened me enough. I want a nice, intelligent partner and not some supposed beauty (not my type anyway) to show around. Those times are long gone and it never was strong with me anyway.

" WHY DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER THAT TODAY WAS THE FOURTEEN WEEK ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST SAT ON A BUS TOGETHER... AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!"

I haven't known any chick that does this since 5th grade. Personally, I wouldn't care if I celebrated the anniversary of a marriage until it was the 50th one or something. (Even then, it would be a celebration of 'I can't believe I stuck with your sorry ass this long').

This is akin to "why do girls only like assholes?"
I was thinking the same thing. It would probably be true that about 75% of the guys are attracted to 25% of the girls, and vice versa.

In a way. My bf who is quite possibly soon to be ex has been treating me unfairly for some time. He just has this habit of doing or saying something sweet just before the conversation ends that almost makes up for everything that transpired in the conversation... but not quite. I'm just getting peeved with being painted as the bad guy because I have to work and the subsequent guilt trips that ensue when I point out that he's a part of this relationship too.
Does he work or is he unemployed?

If he says something you have a problem with, refute it.

I've put up with 8 months of my guy being an idiot. I'm sick of it. I consider myself to be rather fucking patient, but this is rediculous.
Dumpy dump dump!

18 months of a high mantainence, unfeeling woman (for he most part) i got sick of it and left her...she thinks she is better than my family.....she needs the biggest and the best......she throws a hissy fit if i don;t hold a door for her.....gimme a low mantainence woman....

Does he work or is he unemployed?

If he says something you have a problem with, refute it.
He's unemployed but looking. And I do refute it, then he claims that he's always wrong and I'm always right and he's just a stupid college kid et c.

Dumpy dump dump!
He's getting one more chance.

No Shit! Amen!!!!

As an extremely low maintenance woman, I get little or no play. It all goes to the tall blonde with the fake nails that need upkeep weekly. And for god's sake men, if you're my co-worker, and you choose to date the high maintenance blonde, stop fucking telling me about how upset you are about blowing half your paycheck on her!!!!

Men, realize, women like me, the ganine garofalo type, are so sick and tired of always being picked last bacause we put more energy into being smart than into being slutty. We think big brains are more important than big tits, and thus we're endlessly penalized for it. So the next time you have a problem with your bubbly little blond trophy slut, keep it to yourself, or tell it to someone who actually gives a damn, because the smart, honest, faithful, low maintenance women of the world are sick of your shit!!


*applauds*

and no I have not been dumped recently :p