NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, I'm sitting here at work and a thought came to mind... guys are always wondering what it takes to attract a woman. Hell, even I have wondered this. But then I had another thought... maybe it's cause we have no damn clue when you're interested. So, to the ladies (and possibly any guys who would know), how do you let guys know that you're interested. I'm dumb as a rock and I basically have to be hit over the head with large blunt objects to get the hint and I'm not the only one with this problem, so as a service to all males who share in my infirmity, tell us what y'all do to show interest. Thanks.

It varies from person to person and in different situations. In some cases I've told them straight out, some I've flirted (that means smiling, touching, eye contact, closeness, suggestive comments etc) and some I've said nothing.

Well I've tried letting the guys come to me but I've realized that doesn't work for me so I have to go hunting. I approach, flirt, and ask.

Money. Starting around the same time they become interested in boys, most girls acquire an insatiable addiction for men with large bank accounts. This stays with them their entire life. No matter how much they protest otherwise, the quickest way to get a gorgeous girl to drop her drawers is by having at least $10,000 spending money per month and spending it all on her.

If you're looking for a girl who could become the love of your life and maybe even spend the rest of your life with her, then money doesn't matter...as much.


I'm not quite cynical enough to entirely beleive all this, but I'm not romantic enough to dismiss it either.

My general assumption when women don't seem to be interested is that they're not interested, because its true.

If you are interested and you don't try to hide it then the guy will know. You can tell by body language and several other ways. When I first met my wife, she was a leasing pro at some apartments I was looking into. Well, I rented there and somehow I always found a reason to keep going into the office to see her. She was very kind and accommodating to everyone but I could just tell she was interested in me. She blushed when I walked in the room, she sometimes got a little discombobulated when I popped in to drop off some redirect mail or something. One day I went to the gym to work out and followed up with a swim in the pool. She was sunbathing alone and obviously off work so I walked over and said hello. The hello turned into a conversation, the conversation turned into a date and the date started off a relationship. I found out later that she only went out to sunbathe because she saw me (from her balcony) go to the gym which was next to the swimming pool. I only went swimming because she was sunbathing. You see, when two poeple are interested in each other, things just work out that way, its human nature, two people who are attracted to each other will eventually come together somehow.

Well, I'm a romantic and therefore don't look for those kinds of girls... you know... the gold diggers. But it seems that, while I know what to say, I just don't get it too well when I'm being flirted WITH... it's very unusual.

Money. Starting around the same time they become interested in boys, most girls acquire an insatiable addiction for men with large bank accounts. This stays with them their entire life. No matter how much they protest otherwise, the quickest way to get a gorgeous girl to drop her drawers is by having at least $10,000 spending money per month and spending it all on her.

If you're looking for a girl who could become the love of your life and maybe even spend the rest of your life with her, then money doesn't matter...as much.


I'm not quite cynical enough to entirely beleive all this, but I'm not romantic enough to dismiss it either.

...and that's how to repel woman. By spouting rubbish like that.

Well, I'm a romantic and therefore don't look for those kinds of girls... you know... the gold diggers. But it seems that, while I know what to say, I just don't get it too well when I'm being flirted WITH... it's very unusual.


I know what you mean. It is best to strike up a conversation. it doesn't have to be about anything in particular, just something you know you can carry on from and maybe keep her standing there for a good ten minutes.

I heard that women like the "alpha male", so just get your friends to pretend you're the leader. Then when another friend wants to get a girl, pretend he's the leader...

I heard that women like the "alpha male", so just get your friends to pretend you're the leader. Then when another friend wants to get a girl, pretend he's the leader...

Y'know the whole Alpha Male thing is true, at least biologically, but I think its limited to those that deserve to be the alpha male.

I become the friend to all the wemon.

Y'know the whole Alpha Male thing is true, at least biologically, but I think its limited to those that deserve to be the alpha male.

And the attitudes of other males are one way a woman would unconsciously judge them.

I become the friend to all the wemon.

Heh... yeah... that is death... the eternal "best friend to all women" That could be one more thing... and I've heard this. Is it really a good thing for you when all your female friends talk about guys and sometimes how they are just such pigs, then when I get offended (you know, being a guy and all) they say "You're not a guy, you're <insert name here>! It's different." I hear that from friends I have now AND women I'm interested in... what the hell does that mean?? Geez... that drives me nuts too.

I've got a winner for you.

it may seem a little devilish and like you are a stalker but hey:

Find out if she is going out with someone (it is better if she is) and keep an eye on here, making sure she knows you like her. and then when she breaks up with the other guy, be the first to comfort her.

I've got a winner for you.

it may seem a little devilish and like you are a stalker but hey:

Find out if she is going out with someone (it is better if she is) and keep an eye on here, making sure she knows you like her. and then when she breaks up with the other guy, be the first to comfort her.
...WTF will that do?
j/k

It varies from person to person and in different situations. In some cases I've told them straight out, some I've flirted (that means smiling, touching, eye contact, closeness, suggestive comments etc) and some I've said nothing.

All right- so suppose I'm getting these signals, but she's taken. By one of my friends. I think she likes me and I know I like her, but my friend is a pretty nice guy. What would you want me to do?

All right- so suppose I'm getting these signals, but she's taken. By one of my friends. I think she likes me and I know I like her, but my friend is a pretty nice guy. What would you want me to do?

Write to dear Abby. Don't write to NS.

Okay. That was really funny. Can you or can you not see what thread you're in?

Money. Starting around the same time they become interested in boys, most girls acquire an insatiable addiction for men with large bank accounts. This stays with them their entire life. No matter how much they protest otherwise, the quickest way to get a gorgeous girl to drop her drawers is by having at least $10,000 spending money per month and spending it all on her.

If you're looking for a girl who could become the love of your life and maybe even spend the rest of your life with her, then money doesn't matter...as much.


I'm not quite cynical enough to entirely beleive all this, but I'm not romantic enough to dismiss it either.
One guy spent 50$ on me in two months of us going out. We saw 4 movies (40$) and we had lunch at Subway (10$). I still think he was pretty cool. Money isn't really a big factor contrary to popular male belief. Although, I wouldn't mind if a guy was willing to spend loads of money on me ;)

Okay. That was really funny. Can you or can you not see what thread you're in?

Sorry if you're referring to my last comment with the intent of saying that it was annoying.

One guy spent 50$ on me in two months of us going out. We saw 4 movies (40$) and we had lunch at Subway (10$). I still think he was pretty cool. Money isn't really a big factor contrary to popular male belief. Although, I wouldn't mind if a guy was willing to spend loads of money on me ;)

Ah, but what about first impressions? Would money be a bigger factor there? Would you be more attracted to an immaculately dressed guy with a gold wristwatch?

Well, don't be, I'm kind of a jerk.

Anyhow, seriously, it doesn't matter. I've got some friends helping him break up with her, so we'll find out if she was interested or not.

Ah, but what about first impressions? Would money be a bigger factor there? Would you be more attracted to an immaculately dressed guy with a gold wristwatch?
I'd be attracted to a guy like this..

http://slamonline.com/magazine/hype/Fabolous.jpg

I'd be attracted to a guy like this..

http://slamonline.com/magazine/hype/Fabolous.jpg

Hey! That guy stole my bling! Someone's about to get whupped!

Hey! That guy stole my bling! Someone's about to get whupped!
I suppose you'd have to get by his bodyguards :D

I'd be attracted to a guy like this..

<snip>

I'll refrain from judgement.

...and that's how to repel woman. By spouting rubbish like that.

Read it over again. ALL OF IT. Especially the last two sentences.

Besides, it's a simple fact that money is equated with security all over the world. People in general like security, because it means a much better shot at some meaningful, lasting happiness.

A lot of people associate money with happiness. Is it any wonder then that a sizeable proportion of women equate having a wealthy boyfriend or husband with having hapiness.

The man didn't ask how to find true love, he asked what it takes to attract women. With or without your approval or your editting for political corectness, the statement"Money attracts women." is an observation of a common occurence, not a judgement against women.

I suppose you'd have to get by his bodyguards :D

Then I'll whup them, too! I'll float like some sort of buoyant flying object such as a hot air balloon, cloud, or butterfly, and sting like something very sharp, perhaps with a gland that produces a sort of stinging venom, similar to a scorpion or bee. In any event- it's gonna be a thrilla and a chilla when I whup these gorillas!

And just as a side note: y'all are next, Seline Dion!

Getting the ladies is easy.

Step 1. Find the best looking girl out of the bunch.
Step 2. Follow her home, avoid detection if possible.
Step 3. When she is alone, grab her and tie her up.
Step 4. Profit.

I'll refrain from judgement.
All the suit-wearing rich guys are the kind of guys that'll date rape you. This is my ex- ... I'm sure he won't get mad that I posted his picture on the internet :D

http://img107.echo.cx/img107/9163/307830ep.jpg

Getting the ladies is easy.

Step 1. Find the best looking girl out of the bunch.
Step 2. Follow her home, avoid detection if possible.
Step 3. When she is alone, grab her and tie her up.
Step 4. Profit.
ROFL

All the suit-wearing rich guys are the kind of guys that'll date rape you.
I don't go on dates with guys...

Anyway, it wasn't the lack of suit that bothered me, it was the over-the-top "I'm so cool".

I don't go on dates with guys...

Anyway, it wasn't the lack of suit that bothered me, it was the over-the-top "I'm so cool".
He's a rapper (Fabolous) that can't spell Fabulous.

He's a rapper (Fabolous) that can't spell Fabulous.

I thought he might be. Or at least I think I thought that. Too late to tell now that I've thought it and can't remember whether it was the first or second thinking thereof.

I thought he might be. Or at least I think I thought that. Too late to tell now that I've thought it and can't remember whether it was the first or second thinking thereof.
Don't hurt yourself.

Don't hurt yourself.

And I was just about to try juggling chainsaws too...

To steer this on topic... the question asked wasn't "How to attract women." (Which any dating help site will tell you is to be a wealthy jerk that other people defer to.)

The question he was asking is... how can he tell if a woman is interested in him? Frankly, I am also generally baffled and have been surprised before (both by women who turned out to like me and women who turned out to not be interested in me after all), so this would be a good point for folks to try and clarify. Saying "you'll know" doesn't answer, because - as I will say from personal experience - plenty of us don't just know.

To steer this on topic... the question asked wasn't "How to attract women." (Which any dating help site will tell you is to be a wealthy jerk that other people defer to.)

The question he was asking is... how can he tell if a woman is interested in him? Frankly, I am also generally baffled and have been surprised before (both by women who turned out to like me and women who turned out to not be interested in me after all), so this would be a good point for folks to try and clarify. Saying "you'll know" doesn't answer, because - as I will say from personal experience - plenty of us don't just know.

For me the answer to whether or not a woman likes me is simple. They don't.

Is it really a good thing for you when all your female friends talk about guys and sometimes how they are just such pigs, then when I get offended (you know, being a guy and all) they say "You're not a guy, you're <insert name here>! It's different."
Oh my god that would be the worst thing ever. Stop hanging around with these girls.

I've got a winner for you.

it may seem a little devilish and like you are a stalker but hey:

Find out if she is going out with someone (it is better if she is) and keep an eye on here, making sure she knows you like her. and then when she breaks up with the other guy, be the first to comfort her.
That's the worst idea ever. You would be just taking advantage of her.

I'd be attracted to a guy like this..

http://slamonline.com/magazine/hype/Fabolous.jpg
W3RD!

Oh my god that would be the worst thing ever. Stop hanging around with these girls.

Awww.... but it seems to be nearly every girl I get to know that says this... what the hell does it MEAN? I ask and they don't even seem to really know. But I hear it a lot and so it HAS to mean SOMETHING...

My one and only /bump simply cause this really has me scratching my head.

Just give up on women. :D
I have no trouble picking up on another guys signals. No subtlty necessary.

Ok, Now please understand- I'm not trying to be mean here, just honest: some of us would rather get beaten to a bloody pulp.

I sure would. Unless, of course, the bloody pulp was done by a man who had given up on women. Then I would be in serious trouble.

To steer this on topic... the question asked wasn't "How to attract women." (Which any dating help site will tell you is to be a wealthy jerk that other people defer to.)

The question he was asking is... how can he tell if a woman is interested in him? Frankly, I am also generally baffled and have been surprised before (both by women who turned out to like me and women who turned out to not be interested in me after all), so this would be a good point for folks to try and clarify. Saying "you'll know" doesn't answer, because - as I will say from personal experience - plenty of us don't just know.

I think the common thread here was, ask her. Then you'll know.