NationStates Jolt Archive

Kind of an advice thread...but not quite.

What I'd like to know is what high-school girls generally look for in a guy. I ask because I'm a high-schooler and yes, there is a cute girl I have my eye on.

I've been pretty good friends with her for a while. We talk at school, we have good conversations. I want to "approach" her, but I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.

So...What do the ladies like?

Kind of an advice thread...but not quite.

What I'd like to know is what high-school girls generally look for in a guy. I ask because I'm a high-schooler and yes, there is a cute girl I have my eye on.

I've been pretty good friends with her for a while. We talk at school, we have good conversations. I want to "approach" her, but I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.

So...What do the ladies like?

Dude... speaking from experience... if she really IS a "pretty good friend", it might be too late. If you're going to do this, make sure that if you wanna keep the really good friendship then you have a really good diea that she'll feel the same way. Drop hints and guage her responses. And best of luck. I hope it works out better for you than it has for me.

I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.
There's your problem, you just need confidence. Be confident but don't be an asshole. Be the nice guy around her but be the bad boy outside the perimeter.

Kind of an advice thread...but not quite.

What I'd like to know is what high-school girls generally look for in a guy. I ask because I'm a high-schooler and yes, there is a cute girl I have my eye on.

I've been pretty good friends with her for a while. We talk at school, we have good conversations. I want to "approach" her, but I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.

So...What do the ladies like?

too late. friends 99 times out of 100 means just friends. Forever.

Unless you feel like losing a friendship, I suggest you focus you attention elsewhere

Chances if shes your friend and you have your eye for her, one of your other friends does too.

Some like apples. Some like BDSM. Some like backgammon.

Welcome to the mystery of... THE OTHER SEX! =)

(if she's a pretty good friend, you should already have an idea what she likes. Don't overthink it. Relax. Bite the bullet and ask her out to a one-on-one situation where you can talk. Sitting down opposite is better because you can look at her. Keep eye contact as much as you can. They're just general rules, but it really will depend entirely on her.)

EDIT:
I disagree with the friends once, friends forever thing. It often seems to me that people (of either sex) use that as an excuse to (relatively painlessly) turn down those they have little interest in. I find the friend thing is always at least slightly complicated by some form of attraction. Even if it's slight.

What do the ladies like?

I dunno, ask Sarge.

Chances if shes your friend and you have your eye for her, one of your other friends does too.

She actually recently came out of a relationship. That's another reason why I haven't asked her out yet, so I don't make her feel like I'm catching her on th rebound.

Correct me if I am mistaken in this matter.

I dunno, ask Sarge.

I thought it was hilarious when Sarge said that... I know what the ladies like... that was awesome!

I dunno, ask Sarge.

Last time I did that he told me to get her a tank. I can't afford a tank!

Never ask that jarhead for advice!

She actually recently came out of a relationship. That's another reason why I haven't asked her out yet, so I don't make her feel like I'm catching her on th rebound.

Correct me if I am mistaken in this matter.

seriously. relax. nothing is less attractive than a neurotic.

I disagree with the friends once, friends forever thing. It often seems to me that people (of either sex) use that as an excuse to (relatively painlessly) turn down those they have little interest in. I find the friend thing is always at least slightly complicated by some form of attraction. Even if it's slight.

I agree with you... but it does take some doing to bring the relationship to that next level. I have had a massive crush on my best friend of almost 6 years for about half that time now. We weren't really too terribly close until recently, and now it's looking better for me. It CAN be done, but it needs to be done carefully. I've asked her out twice and got turned down twice, but for some reason, we've gotten closer still. It can be done.

My girlfriend and I were (and still are!) good friends before we started dating. While it may be true that some people don't prefer to date friends, never assume that's the rule with everyone. After all, you're friends with her, and you still want to date her, right? So the same might possibly be true for her.

If you gauge her responses and see if there's the chance that she does like you back, and you decide it's time to broach the subject with her, let her know that friendship is still important to you (that /is/ the case, isn't it? Whatever you do, don't lie. Lies always make things worse), and that whatever she responds with, that you'd still like to be friends. If she says no, there'll probably be some awkwardness at first, but if you're really friends, and both of you really are interested in keeping your friendship, then things should be fine. I've been there too (on both ends), so I can say that with confidence. Treat her well, whether or not she says yes.

seriously. relax. nothing is less attractive than a neurotic.

I'm not neurotic!

(insert facial tic here)

I'm perfectly fine!

(insert aneurysm here)

I'm okay!

(dies)

this is a song for the ladies, but its to the guys.
you don't always have to fuck her hard.
in fact sometimes,
that's not right-to do.
sometimes you got to make some love,
and fucking give her some smooches too.
sometimes you gotta squeeze
sometimes you gotta say please.
sometimes you gotta say hey,

i'm gonna fuck you... softly,
i'm gonna screw you gently,
i'm gonna hump you... sweetly,
i'm gonna ball you discreetly.

and then you say hey i brought you flowers,
and then you say, wait a mintue sally,
i think i got something in my teeth,
could you get it out for me??
That's fucking teamwork!
what's your favorite posish?...
that's cool with me,
it's not my favorite but i'll do it for you.
what's your favorite dish?
i'm not gonna cook it but i'll order it from zanzibar!

and then i'm going love you completely,
and then i'll fucking fuck you discreetly
and then i'll fucking bone you completly,
but then i'm gonna fuck you hard.
Hard...

I'm not neurotic!

(insert facial tic here)

I'm perfectly fine!

(insert aneurysm here)

I'm okay!

(dies)

Good. Now repeat after me...

"If I want to be able to do naughty things to her in the dark, I need to be calm, assured and let whatever happens, happen. Coming on too strong will turn her into a toad. I will empty my life savings into the following account number..."

I am a highschooler, and out of the 7 girlfriends I have had, 5 of them were friends first. I very much prefer the approach of being friends first, then making it more. It has worked out pretty well for me, my 1-year anniversary of my girlfriend and I dating is next wednesday.

Kind of an advice thread...but not quite.

What I'd like to know is what high-school girls generally look for in a guy. I ask because I'm a high-schooler and yes, there is a cute girl I have my eye on.

I've been pretty good friends with her for a while. We talk at school, we have good conversations. I want to "approach" her, but I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.

So...What do the ladies like?

Yeah, right. What you really mean is, I'm a 29 YO VIRGIN who wants to know what what high-school girls like because I'm too broke to buy 15 minutes with a prostitute.
LOL, just ask her if you want to go to the movies and make your move afterwards.

[QUOTE=Fuscous]Some like apples. Some like BDSM. Some like backgammon.

Welcome to the mystery of... THE OTHER SEX! =)

(if she's a pretty good friend, you should already have an idea what she likes. Don't overthink it. Relax. Bite the bullet and ask her out to a one-on-one situation where you can talk. Sitting down opposite is better because you can look at her. Keep eye contact as much as you can. They're just general rules, but it really will depend entirely on her.)


ur right about the friends thing. I had a friend once, but it turned out he was an annoying asshole, so I just dropped the friendship into aquantance status, and got other friends and became more popular.

On subject, there was a cute girl I really started liking before the Christmass holidays (2004). I really, really liked this girl and eventually danced with her on a Velentine's day dance. I just "bit the bullet" and asked one-on-one. But, when I was dancing with her, the entire time, I wasn't making eye contact. Screwed up that time, but I didn't make any major mistake because I wasn't really too afraid. If I'm not getting to ya, here's my message, fear of failure is the father of failure, so don't worry about messing up, and if you do, who cares? Most likely she probably won't notice or understands and doesn't care.

Good. Now repeat after me...

"If I want to be able to do naughty things to her in the dark, I need to be calm, assured and let whatever happens, happen. Coming on too strong will turn her into a toad. I will empty my life savings into the following account number..."

...lunch money...

(snaps out of it)

Here's what you do. Try to get a kiss then you either be together or you'll never see her again. There really is no other way. If you ask her, she'll probably say no because you haven't put anything on the line but her. If it's worth the chance you'll loose her, then you'll do it.
If you're too afraid of screwing up you'll never get her.

But, when I was dancing with her, the entire time, I wasn't making eye contact. Screwed up that time, but I didn't make any major mistake because I wasn't really too afraid.

You did screw up. However I bet the valentines day pixies saved you. they're great like that.

Just don't pay too much attention to the bill they send when you realise that the pixie was just a pimp in fairy wings.

How many times do I have to say this? :rolleyes: Girls like different things. There is no one set type that girls like. Acting like there is becomes very annoying and means you're not going to get very far. So don't bother asking 'what do the ladies like?' because the list probably includes every charcteristic you can come across.

If you're already friends personality wise you must be suited to some extent. Asking her out will find out whether you are suited through attraction. Do you know why she broke up with her last boyfriend? If you can find out why, avoid whatever he did wrong. Don't be pushy when you ask but preferably try not to be over nervous. The longer you leave it the more nervous you will become so don't put it off too long. Being friends doesn't mean it can't go further. I prefer being friends first with a guy. If she does say no though, don't avoid her because that risks being distanced from her. If possible accept it and change the subject so immediatly you get over the awkward situation.

Go for it. The worst that can happen is you don't go out with her and that's just the same as not asking her except if you don't ask you'll always wonder about what could have happened. Maybe it'll work and maybe it won't. If not, you have your whole life ahead of you to try different relationships and meet new people. In a year or so this will have been forgotten.

Good luck :)

I dunno, ask Sarge.
Damn, beat me to the armor plating jokes. Bah.

For god's sake there was this exact type of thread like, a day ago.
Kind of an advice thread...but not quite.

What I'd like to know is what high-school girls generally look for in a guy. I ask because I'm a high-schooler and yes, there is a cute girl I have my eye on.
The short and correct answer is confidence. It's a universally attractive attribute. Do not be nice to her. That doesn't mean be abusive. I mean you should make fun of her and such. Avoid giving compliments and other forms of sucking up.

Vell, i'm a girl, and i have been with a couple of boys, and i know now what i look for in a boy, he have to be: funny (but not to much), nice, we should have something to talk about, about my age (can be older), i need to know him, i need to know if i can trust him and if he can trust me, every girl loves a boy with a great body..but that is just a bonus, not something we MUST have.. if you have a great body, please, don't show off..!! if he talks to much about sex i (the girl) can belive that he is just interested in that... take it slow..:) talk to her, ask her if she wants to do something one day, you and her.. do things together.. have fun... :D

I've been pretty good friends with her for a while. We talk at school, we have good conversations. I want to "approach" her, but I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.

Invite her out on a date.

She actually recently came out of a relationship. That's another reason why I haven't asked her out yet, so I don't make her feel like I'm catching her on th rebound.

Correct me if I am mistaken in this matter.

Invite her out now before someone else does and someone will because they know she is now available.

Kind of an advice thread...but not quite.

What I'd like to know is what high-school girls generally look for in a guy. I ask because I'm a high-schooler and yes, there is a cute girl I have my eye on.

I've been pretty good friends with her for a while. We talk at school, we have good conversations. I want to "approach" her, but I'm too scared of screwing it up in some way.

So...What do the ladies like?
Tell the truth, but don't date her. You can't control your emotions, and honesty is always the best policy. So tell her the truth, but don't actually try to get involved in a romantic relationship. Love is a hell, a brain draining hell, and it's best to avoid it.

Tell the truth, but don't date her. You can't control your emotions, and honesty is always the best policy. So tell her the truth, but don't actually try to get involved in a romantic relationship. Love is a hell, a brain draining hell, and it's best to avoid it.
Warning: This is the guy who has forsaken romance and believes that sex is evil.

Best friends.
Now I had a best friend.
We met when he was going out with my flatmate while I was at college.
I was really REALLY atracted to him but kept my mouth shut and let them get on with it. Then they split up and we became even closer friends and spent a lot of time together.
Then one night after a party (about a year after he had split up with our mutual friend), we were sitting having coffee and bemoaning the fact that there were no suitable girls/lads out there for us and he turned to me and said I wish you were interested in me, but you only want to be my friend.

Needless to say we both wished that we had made our feelings known to each other earlier and got together that night.
I'm not with him now, we grew away from each other and our lives took different paths, but the relationship was fantastic while it lasted and we are still friends.

Moral of the story?
Ask her out, tell her how you feel and see if she feels the same way.
If she doesn't and she is a frined then she will take it as a compliment and will stilll be your friend.
If she does, then you have saved yourself a hell of a lot of stress and frustration and you will know where you stand.

Go on, ask her to come with you to the cinema or out for a meal or just a walk and give it a try!

Tell the truth, but don't date her. You can't control your emotions, and honesty is always the best policy. So tell her the truth, but don't actually try to get involved in a romantic relationship. Love is a hell, a brain draining hell, and it's best to avoid it.

Awww... no, that's not true. Love is death sometimes, but when it works... *sigh*

Just don't give up is all I have to say. If you truly care for this girl, she will see it and it is possible that she will consider it worth her time to date you. 3 things I think that are the most valuable in a guy for girls (well, all the ones that I'd consider good for a long term relationship):

1) A sense of honor and dignity. Don't go around acting like a complete prick. To her or anyone else for that matter. Also, do things that are worth being proud of. Do things to the best of your ability. Basically, live your life to the highest moral standards you can manage.

2) Confidence. It's really a good thing to have just cause, but be comfortable with who you are and everyone else, including those you wish to date, will be as comfortable around you. Everyone has problems every now and then that we spaz out about and get all neurotic about, but it's all about how you handle yourself.

3) Faithfulness. Don't screw around. Ever. Freaking EVER. It goes along with having a sense of honor and dignity. I hear of guys cheating on some of my friends all the time and it completely breaks my heart.

How many times do I have to say this? :rolleyes: Girls like different things. There is no one set type that girls like. Acting like there is becomes very annoying and means you're not going to get very far. So don't bother asking 'what do the ladies like?' because the list probably includes every charcteristic you can come across.

If you're already friends personality wise you must be suited to some extent. Asking her out will find out whether you are suited through attraction. Do you know why she broke up with her last boyfriend? If you can find out why, avoid whatever he did wrong. Don't be pushy when you ask but preferably try not to be over nervous. The longer you leave it the more nervous you will become so don't put it off too long. Being friends doesn't mean it can't go further. I prefer being friends first with a guy. If she does say no though, don't avoid her because that risks being distanced from her. If possible accept it and change the subject so immediatly you get over the awkward situation.

Go for it. The worst that can happen is you don't go out with her and that's just the same as not asking her except if you don't ask you'll always wonder about what could have happened. Maybe it'll work and maybe it won't. If not, you have your whole life ahead of you to try different relationships and meet new people. In a year or so this will have been forgotten.
Good luck :)

It's true. I mean, after all, males have, for centuries been bewildered by the mystery of what the other gender likes. There's even a King Arthur story about it! It's called, 'Sir Gawain and the Loathly Lady', and in it, King Arthur has to pay his ransom by finding the answer to what women like, and finally he has to ask this horrible old lady, and she tells him every woman wants something different...
Sorry, I like rambling. By the way, I hope this thread was not reserved to the strange and unknown OTHER GENDER WITH ONE X CHROMOSONE. :D

why dont you just ask her out to the movies or something. take things slow and drop hints. if she asks why your being so nice just say something like because shes really nice and deserve a good time every once in a while. if she :D just slowly approach with a :fluffle: if she backs off make new convosation
best of luck

Shes just out of a relationship? well don't run her over. you say you're pretty good friedns with her? Well, wahts something you both have in common? Or somehting she's at least semi interested in that your pretty fond of? I'm one of those girls that runs around in the woods, if I had a similar problem but with aguy I liked, I'd ask him if he wanted to go with me sometime and help me find somehting I lost out there. Start with just friendly ways of seeing her outside of school. Sometimes the other guy's right -- friends are just friends. But not always. Theres always a 50 50 chance she likes you too. You'll never know till you ask. If shes a real friend, she'll be decent about it if its a no. Good luck!

It's true. I mean, after all, males have, for centuries been bewildered by the mystery of what the other gender likes. There's even a King Arthur story about it! It's called, 'Sir Gawain and the Loathly Lady', and in it, King Arthur has to pay his ransom by finding the answer to what women like, and finally he has to ask this horrible old lady, and she tells him every woman wants something different...
Sorry, I like rambling. By the way, I hope this thread was not reserved to the strange and unknown OTHER GENDER WITH ONE X CHROMOSONE. :D

I thought she said "to be in charge of a man" or something like that...

Anyway, I talked to my bf a lot online for years...well, on and off...and we became really good friends, heh, he was bemoaning how a girl he sent flowers to in Oz simply said 'yea I got them' just before we started flirting. He had the 'I don't want to spoil our friendship' moment but I'm happy to say I ignored that and now we're definitely together. If you want her badly enough, ask. Despite modern thinking, most girls won't ask out a guy and may wait years just to be asked.

It's true. I mean, after all, males have, for centuries been bewildered by the mystery of what the other gender likes. There's even a King Arthur story about it! It's called, 'Sir Gawain and the Loathly Lady', and in it, King Arthur has to pay his ransom by finding the answer to what women like, and finally he has to ask this horrible old lady, and she tells him every woman wants something different...
Sorry, I like rambling. By the way, I hope this thread was not reserved to the strange and unknown OTHER GENDER WITH ONE X CHROMOSONE. :D

You call that rambling? Pah. Try 11 page long emails :p and yep, that's on a regular basis...

It's one of my pet hates. And I'd also like to point out that girls asking what guys like is equally annoying. It's really quite insulting to not treat people as individuals with different tastes. Along with very detrimental to finding the right person. If guys acted the way most of my friends like they'd have no chance with me. And people I'm attracted to have no chance with my friends.

I don't know anyone who has the exact same taste as me or any two people who have the same taste. And there's no characteristic that I like which would go undisputed I'm sure.

Acting like there is this one type seems like a slight cop-out to me because then you can moan about how you don't fit the criteria. And also you shouldn't be changing purely to please someone, just bringing out your best qualities and controlling negative ones.

INGREDIENTS:

* 1 green bell pepper, chopped
* 1 yellow onion, chopped
* 2 cups sliced and quartered pepperoni
* 16 ounces fresh mushrooms, sliced
* 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
* 1 (32 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
* 1 clove garlic, peeled and minced
* 1 cup rigatoni pasta
* 1 cup rotini pasta
* 1 cup macaroni
* 1 pound ricotta cheese
* 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
* 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a large saucepan, combine green pepper, onion, pepperoni, mushrooms, tomato paste, spaghetti sauce, and garlic. Cover, and simmer for one hour.
2. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook pasta in boiling water for 8 to 10 minutes, or until al dente; drain.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
4. Mix together pasta, ricotta, 1 1/2 cups mozzarella, and Parmesan. In a 9x13 inch baking dish, alternate pasta and cheese mixture and sauce mixture, ending with sauce. Top with remaining mozzarella.
5. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes. Let stand for 5 to 10 minutes before serving

Yeah buddy... food is always good.

It's really quite insulting to not treat people as individuals with different tastes.

I don't know anyone who has the exact same taste as me or any two people who have the same taste. And there's no characteristic that I like which would go undisputed I'm sure.

Acting like there is this one type seems like a slight cop-out to me because then you can moan about how you don't fit the criteria.

Uhm... anybody know of a girl that isn't attracted to confidence? Because if you did... could you let me know? Maybe? If you can't, that's fine. I dunno. Sorry. I don't mean to bother you.

Uhm... anybody know of a girl that isn't attracted to confidence? Because if you did... could you let me know? Maybe? If you can't, that's fine. I dunno. Sorry. I don't mean to bother you.

Not bothering me at all. Yes, I do know a few girls who aren't attracted to confidence. Some actively dislike confidence and prefer someone slightly insecure and some don't mind either way.

Personally confidence doesn't affect how I view someone that much. I hate overconfidence with a passion. I prefer the other extreme of being really insecure actually. I like someone having confidence more for the fact that it means they'll be happier and someone I care about I want to be happy. Having someone unconfident doesn't put me off, just makes me want to build up their confidence. If they're a nice person, can make me laugh and accept me than whether they are insecure or not doesn't put me off and confidence doesn't change how attracted I am to them.

I'm not even gonna read the opening post or the thread because I've heard it before. So I'll make this brief:

For the love of all that's holy, TRY TALKING TO THEM!!! Find one you're not into starting a relationship with and ask her honestly, no patina of macho, no guy horseshit, what her opinion of things are. I swear, this is like someone asking me what TV is like because they're afraid to turn the damn thing on.

Timidity is the enemy of progress. I'm not saying you have to grow a batch of courage overnight, but jeez -- they're people, just like you, with similar feelings, desires and fears. Let them know you understand that, and you'll be in great shape. An online forum is not an awful place to get this kind of information, but it's by no means the best.

*heavy sigh*

EDIT: By the way, a good place to start might be stop calling them "the ladies". It's crass and denies women their individuality. There are similarities, of course, but they're individuals, like you.

Despite modern thinking, most girls won't ask out a guy and may wait years just to be asked.
As a liberal nutcase, I don't see why girls don't just... ask! Nothing wrong with it, IMO. I think it's just that they're nervous. Do you agree?

PS> I like the link to Opera in your signature. It's a great browser!