NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's the deal, basically I like this girl (we'll call her Fran) and Im pretty sure she likes me. Tonight we went to a party and were hangin out and it was pretty cool. Then I went home and she went home, we got on the internet, and I was takling to her on MSN, after a while of conversation, she said something about a guy. So I thought, this kicks ass, she likes me. But it turns out that she likes one of my best friends (we'll call him redneck).

But heres the catch, redneck has a girlfriend already, but Fran and Redneck were out last night together till bout midnight, and some stuff went on, nothing serious, just they basically said that they like each other. So basically at this point im fucking pissed. A little more back ground is that Fran is having a hard time, because she know's redneck has a girlfriend, and Fran and Redneck have been doing this for 3 months apparently. Then that's when i get too pissed to see straight, but the thing is that i like her enough that i couldn't tell her I like her because i don't want to complicate an already complicated situation for her.

So all in all, im stuck in between a rock and a hard place

Here's the deal, basically I like this girl (we'll call her Fran) and Im pretty sure she likes me. Tonight we went to a party and were hangin out and it was pretty cool. Then I went home and she went home, we got on the internet, and I was takling to her on MSN, after a while of conversation, she said something about a guy. So I thought, this kicks ass, she likes me. But it turns out that she likes one of my best friends (we'll call him redneck).
But heres the catch, redneck has a girlfriend already, but Fran and Redneck were out last night together till bout midnight, and some stuff went on, nothing serious, just they basically said that they like each other. So basically at this point im fucking pissed. A little more back ground is that Fran is having a hard time, because she know's redneck has a girlfriend, and Fran and Redneck have been doing this for 3 months apparently. Then that's when i get too pissed to see straight, but the thing is that i like her enough that i couldn't tell her I like her because i don't want to complicate an already complicated situation for her.
So all in all, im stuck in between a rock and a hard place

Its tough man, I know Ive been there a few times myself, but dont worry theres plenty more fish in the sea, and as soon as you get the next one, you'll start to forget about this one. Im sure shes a great girl, but unless you go up and face her about it in a passionate but non aggressive way, your better off keeping her at arms distance.

Yeesh...this happens all too often.
Honestly, you can't take this onto yourself. You can't make her like you, and you can't fix this problem. By trying to do so, you'll only make yourself miserable in the process.
I'm sorry for you. I hope you find some sort of moral out of this...I like to think there's a learning experience in everything.
Perhaps...not all friends are trustworthy?

well basically i broke it down, i have a few options
1. just forget about it, try not to think about her
2. tell her i like her, and complicate her life further, possibly be shot down, and cause chaos
3. try to get here away from redneck, but if she finds out that's what im doing, that could possibly blow everything

All your relationships will fail, until the last one.

Either 1 or 2, I don't recommend option 3.

This COULD be some uninspired plea for attention on her part for all you know actually....perhaps all is not lost.

Here's the deal, basically I like this girl (we'll call her Fran) and Im pretty sure she likes me. Tonight we went to a party and were hangin out and it was pretty cool. Then I went home and she went home, we got on the internet, and I was takling to her on MSN, after a while of conversation, she said something about a guy. So I thought, this kicks ass, she likes me. But it turns out that she likes one of my best friends (we'll call him redneck).

But heres the catch, redneck has a girlfriend already, but Fran and Redneck were out last night together till bout midnight, and some stuff went on, nothing serious, just they basically said that they like each other. So basically at this point im fucking pissed. A little more back ground is that Fran is having a hard time, because she know's redneck has a girlfriend, and Fran and Redneck have been doing this for 3 months apparently. Then that's when i get too pissed to see straight, but the thing is that i like her enough that i couldn't tell her I like her because i don't want to complicate an already complicated situation for her.

So all in all, im stuck in between a rock and a hard place

Yup. And guess what? There's fuck-all you can do about it. There are going to be lots of women you like who are bent on pouring themselves into someone else. Sometimes the other guy is actually a good choice, and those rejections are therefore easier to swallow (they still suck, though). Most of the time, however, the one she wants instead of you is a complete tool for any of several reasons, the most common of which are:

A) He's a multi-dating woman-hog who thinks women who cheat are damaged goods but sees no problem with cheating himself (my cousin the sailor is a good example of that).
B) He's taken but sees nothing wrong with either playing with your object of affection or even shagging her.
C) He's single, but a total and complete bastard and she cannot/will not see it.

So what do you do? Watch what SHE does. If she knows he's taken and continues to make a play for this other guy and even winds up with him, you might re-evaluate what makes you like her. Who's to say she wouldn't go for another guy if she were with you? Integrity is VERY important. If she chooses to be a crowbar, that shows a lack of integrity. On the other hand, if she pines for taken guy but does not act, that's shows a lot of integrity and you would do well to make yourself her friend. But be careful -- you don't want to be so friendly that she's always coming to you to complain about other taken guys. The way you avoid that is by telling her how you feel about her. I can't stress that enough. If she honestly doesn't know how you feel, she'll assume your presence is there as a psychiatrist-type on whom she can dump all of her wants and needs for other men. YOU DO NOT WANT THIS for that way, madness lies.

I'm not saying you have to pull a "Say Anything" and blare some romantic tune over a boom-box under her window -- but at some point, if you find her worth your agonizing, you need to make it clear to her what she means to you. If you don't, any pain you think she's causing you by pining for other guys is your own fault -- unless you tell her and she keeps pining about them to you, then it's her fault and you should leave fast enough to dig skid-marks on to the sidewalk.

I hope that helps.

This COULD be some uninspired plea for attention on her part for all you know actually....perhaps all is not lost.
I could only wish


And thank you Intangelon for that lengthy response, it makes sense.

sorry to start a discussion and leave, but im going to sleep because i have to wake up early. feel free to comment and discuss this further, i will be back tomorrow to check it.

peace

Here's the deal, basically I like this girl (we'll call her Fran) and Im pretty sure she likes me. Tonight we went to a party and were hangin out and it was pretty cool. Then I went home and she went home, we got on the internet, and I was takling to her on MSN, after a while of conversation, she said something about a guy. So I thought, this kicks ass, she likes me. But it turns out that she likes one of my best friends (we'll call him redneck).

But heres the catch, redneck has a girlfriend already, but Fran and Redneck were out last night together till bout midnight, and some stuff went on, nothing serious, just they basically said that they like each other. So basically at this point im fucking pissed. A little more back ground is that Fran is having a hard time, because she know's redneck has a girlfriend, and Fran and Redneck have been doing this for 3 months apparently. Then that's when i get too pissed to see straight, but the thing is that i like her enough that i couldn't tell her I like her because i don't want to complicate an already complicated situation for her.

So all in all, im stuck in between a rock and a hard place

It all depends on how much you like her. To me there are three levels: "like," "lust" and "love." If you just like her, it doesnt matter: that shit happens all the time and it wont really hurt to let it go. If its "lust" you're after, then to hell with the other guy; just let her know right now. If you love her, it can wait; keep in touch and wait for the right moment; it really means a lot more to someone if you tell them this after you've got a few years' interaction with them under your belt.

For example: I've been in love with this girl for about three years now; I've seen her date several of my best frineds but now she's off at school. She's coming over later this month and I can't fucking wait to tell her how I feel. I've got it all planned out: I'm gonna take her to Morton's and give her the 411; if you can make it to this point you won't care how she responds. You'll be immensely relieved simply to say it. Of course I/You be very happy if she responds favorably, but it wont be the end of the world if she doesn't. Everyone is entitled to their tastes.

snip
mortons? the steak house? damn, you're spendin the money.

mortons? the steak house? damn, you're spendin the money.

You're goddamn right I am. I talked to her on the phone the other day and I said "When You come down I need you to pack something nice, because I'm taking you to Morton's and I'm not taking no for an answer." I'd get a limo too but it's right down the street.

sucks dude.

You're goddamn right I am. I talked to her on the phone the other day and I said "When You come down I need you to pack something nice, because I'm taking you to Morton's and I'm not taking no for an answer." I'd get a limo too but it's right down the street.Good luck man. It sounds like you know what you're doing, and I'm sure it will all pay off in the end.

Good luck man. It sounds like you know what you're doing, and I'm sure it will all pay off in the end.

I'm sure it will too. It will play out however she's comfortable with it playing out, and that's fine by me. She can say no if she wants; I can respect that. I just need to get this shit off my chest because I'm going nuts over here.