NationStates Jolt Archive

SCUMTARD
adj. 1. A gene pool reject characterized by any combination of three or more: a) extremely offensive body odor; b) extremely offensive behavior; c) extremely offensive behavior by subjects children; d) very, very frequent episode of drooling, farting, burping, or all three simultaneously; e) simultaneously receiving permanent disability for a back injury and taking Tae Kwan Do classes; e) unable to name the fathers of the seven different children they have in tow; f) unable to name or identify their 27 different children (that they know of); g) whining, demanding, obsessive, irrational bitch who suffers from a critical Haldol deficiency; h) bigoted backwoods retard fathered by his brother and an 11 year old AIDS infected hooker; i) 19th generation Medicaid recipient who has a high school diploma but signs paperwork with an “X”; j) complains that food stamps can’t be used to buy cigarettes; k) complains they can’t pay the $2 co-pay for their child’s medicine while smoking 3 packs per day; l) is seen in the Emergency Department an average of 10 times per month for prescription refills, ingrown nails, and acute constipation secondary to lack of water intake as “they don’t water down their fine sippin whisky (wink)”; m) biopsy of suspicious for malignancy dark growth under index finger nail reveals it to be stool, and guaiac positive stool at that; n) enjoys sodomizing livestock or being sodomized by same; o) More than 100 outstanding parking tickets; p) thinks “it’s Gonorrhea again” is a good thing vs. other possibilities; q) finds USA Today a challenging read and prefers other reading material, like McDonalds cups; r) can discuss the relative merits of various late night infomercials; s) does not own underwear as they cannot get the stains out; t) concept of positive child discipline is not hitting them in public; u) carries more than two psychiatric diagnoses; v) has more than 10 piercings excluding ears; w) has more than 10 visible tattoos; x) has a single tattoo on the back of a large cobra with the snakes tail entering the rectal sphincter muscle; y) has been asked to leave and not return by 3 or more churches; z) has been shot in the ass more than twice.

Example:
“Do you believe the nads on this scumtard, asking for his narcotic refill 27 days early?”

That's great, but it doesn't beat "Nebshit".

Today I found out what Antidisestablishmentarianism means.

Props on the word, homie.

Today I found out what Antidisestablishmentarianism means.

Props on the word, homie.
Basically means fascist. Or ME!

I prefer "dipshit" and "asswipe"...

Such a long definition/description, and it still doesn't beat the good old "half-wit".

That's great, but it doesn't beat "Nebshit".

It certainly sounds funny, but what does it mean?

"fucktard"

there, your insults are complete

SCUMTARD
-snip-”



lol :p

"fucklunch" is pretty awesome. "knobtwang" is a good one too.

Today I found out what Antidisestablishmentarianism means.

Props on the word, homie.

does it mean "establishmentarianism"?

i mean since it's a double-negative.

It certainly sounds funny, but what does it mean?

It means somebody who noses around in other people's business in an obnoxious manner.

douchebag is an old favorite.

I love the biopsy on the excrement. I wonder if the lab processed it twice, just to make sure.

I have to say I've never used any of the insults mentioned in this thread, I usually use

knobjockey/knobhead/knob
twat
twit
dopey get
tosser
tosspot
wanker

I have to say I've never used any of the insults mentioned in this thread, I usually use

knobjockey/knobhead/knob
twat
twit
dopey get
tosser
tosspot
wanker

Those are all classics (well, I could go either way on "dopey get"...), but what about asshat?

Those are all classics (well, I could go either "dopey get"...), but what about asshat?
I've never heard it used in the UK.

I've never heard it used in the UK.

Hrm. It must be spread!

u) carries more than two psychiatric diagnoses

Damn, I need to cut down.

Those are all classics (well, I could go either way on "dopey get"...), but what about asshat?
anything with 'ass' in it isn't very British and you won't get me saying it! (unless I'm discussing donkeys of course)



and I missed one off my list, and it's the word i use more than any other, arse, i'm always calling people arses

u) carries more than two psychiatric diagnoses

Damn, I need to cut down.

You don't sound like someone with feces under their nails.

My favourite insult is usually aimed at idiot drivers.

Fuckwit.....or as I prefer to spell it, fucquit.

anything with 'ass' in it isn't very British and you won't get me saying it! (unless I'm discussing donkeys of course)



and I missed one off my list, and it's the word i use more than any other, arse, i'm always calling people arses

Hmm... How about dickwipe? That one always seems to irritate people!

dopey get

do you mean "git"? otherwise wtf? :confused:


one of my old favourites, seldom used, is twatflaps :)

One of my favorites: Knob goblin (verbal pun intended)

slobbin zie knobbin

A knob goblin slobbin zie knoben.

Hmm... How about dickwipe? That one always seems to irritate people!
yeah, i've heard that used before

do you mean "git"? otherwise wtf? :confused:


one of my old favourites, seldom used, is twatflaps :)
yeah, it is git but i always say it as get, it's probably cause it's more than likely i picked it up from Yorkshire relatives who say it that way cause of their accents

One of my favorites: Knob goblin (verbal pun intended)

slobbin zie knobbin

A knob goblin slobbin zie knoben.


hey-isnt that german?

fuckstick
assnut
ballbag
ballsack
asslick

does it mean "establishmentarianism"?

i mean since it's a double-negative.

No, because there is no establishment movement. (The C of E, already being estabishled.)

There is - or at least was for some time - a disestablishment movement. Those who opposed the disestablishment, were styled as antidisetablismentarians. Hence, antidisestablishmentarianism. Simple really.

Scrotum jingler
Fagnuts
Cocksuck
Stillborn
BAstard child
Choad giver
Wank Job

Beef Curtains.

That's a bobby dazzler.

How about Shitface? Haven't seen that one yet.

Front bottom.

Uncle Fucker. That's pure gold, it is.

Did anyone say pissflaps?

That's some good stuff.

Front bottom.
We call them Front Bums
Bloody Women!!!1!!

We call them Front Bums
Bloody Women!!!1!!

Some dude, I forget his name, wrote a long and boring book stating that the english speaking world, despite its obvious outward divisions, underneath, shared fundamentally the same world view.

I guess this proves it.

Carry on. :)

As an American I find this a little weird. I guess I just take our ever-expanding vocabulary for granted :)

Best of all insults I ever heard though was "Son of Assclown"

I would also recommend "motarded": motivated to the point of retardation.

An oldie, but a goodie:

Split arse.

I have to say I've never used any of the insults mentioned in this thread, I usually use

knobjockey/knobhead/knob
twat
twit
dopey get
tosser
tosspot
wanker

erm... tosser as in salad tosser?? That's pretty disgusting.

Pocket.

That's really offensive in old norse,

Pocket.

"Put your hands between your cheeks... That's nature's pocket! Oh, don't let anybody pick it."

does it mean "establishmentarianism"?

i mean since it's a double-negative.

Antidisestablishmentarianism is the opposition of the separation of church and state. Therefore, disestablishmentarianism is the separation of church and state. Therefore, establishmentarianism is the unity of church and state.

Establishmentarianism is the action of combining church and state; antidisestablishmentarianism is the belief that church and state should not be separate, and thus they should be combined. Therefore, antidisestablishmentarianism is not simply a double negative designed to be a super-long word.

Antidisestablishmentarianism is the opposition of the separation of church and state. Therefore, disestablishmentarianism is the separation of church and state. Therefore, establishmentarianism is the unity of church and state.

Establishmentarianism is the action of combining church and state; antidisestablishmentarianism is the belief that church and state should not be separate, and thus they should be combined. Therefore, antidisestablishmentarianism is not simply a double negative designed to be a super-long word.

Yah, I already covered that.

Jizzweasel. (<- not you, just adding a rude word).

erm... tosser as in salad tosser?? That's pretty disgusting.
tosser = wanker

tosser = wanker


Did you decide where you are going for Uni tink?

Did you decide where you are going for Uni tink?
yeah, I wanna go to Oxford Brookes, however NMAS who are supposed to send me the application form are arses and still havn't sent it and now it's too late cause i won't be able to get it back in time to get through clearing so i'll have to wait another year so i'm a little annoyed, I'm gonna do an nvq in childcare to pass the time over the next year cause it'll look good on my cv but i'm not gonna be able to get out of this hell hole for an extra year now *le sigh*

yeah, I wanna go to Oxford Brookes, however NMAS who are supposed to send me the application form are arses and still havn't sent it and now it's too late cause i won't be able to get it back in time to get through clearing so i'll have to wait another year so i'm a little annoyed, I'm gonna do an nvq in childcare to pass the time over the next year cause it'll look good on my cv but i'm not gonna be able to get out of this hell hole for an extra year now *le sigh*


:( Go to Newcastle. It's the greatest city in the UK. (Plus we have the metro which will take you to the best places, like Tynemouth, where there is a cool castle and a great restaurant in the station, or North Shields which has the worlds best fish quay).

Everyone who has been there loves it. Take a weekend trip if you don't believe me.

:( Go to Newcastle. It's the greatest city in the UK. (Plus we have the metro which will take you to the best places, like Tynemouth, where there is a cool castle and a great restaurant in the station, or North Shields which has the worlds best fish quay).

Everyone who has been there loves it. Take a weekend trip if you don't believe me.
lol, but my friends will be going to (real) Oxford Uni so I won't be on my own in Oxford (even if they will have to meet up with me in secret cause I'm at the crappy uni) and they have sexier accents there than in Newcastle, and it's further away from home

:( Go to Newcastle. It's the greatest city in the UK. (Plus we have the metro which will take you to the best places, like Tynemouth, where there is a cool castle and a great restaurant in the station, or North Shields which has the worlds best fish quay).

Everyone who has been there loves it. Take a weekend trip if you don't believe me.
i thought brits were all jaded on castles. if eddie izzard has tought me anything, it's that every single englishman, woman and child has a castle to call his or her own.

i thought brits were all jaded on castles. if eddie izzard has tought me anything, it's that every single englishman, woman and child has a castle to call his or her own.
an Englishman's home is his castle

lol, but my friends will be going to (real) Oxford Uni so I won't be on my own in Oxford (even if they will have to meet up with me in secret cause I'm at the crappy uni) and they have sexier accents there than in Newcastle, and it's further away from home

Well, no-one in Newcastle will laugh at you because you are going to Northumbia - or whatever the hell they call Newcastle Polytech these days. Or at least not much.

Second, and I can't stress this to much, THE GEORDIE ACCENT IS THE SEXIEST ACCENT IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVAR. :)

Plus, Geordies know how to have fun, unlike people from the south. Go live/work there for a bit. You will see what I mean.

i thought brits were all jaded on castles. if eddie izzard has tought me anything, it's that every single englishman, woman and child has a castle to call his or her own.

Eddie izzard is a southern shandy drinking puff.

He can go fuck himself.

Well, no-one in Newcastle will laugh at you because you are going to Northumbia - or whatever the hell they call Newcastle Polytech these days. Or at least not much.

Second, and I can't stress this to much, THE GEORDIE ACCENT IS THE SEXIEST ACCENT IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVAR. :)

Plus, Geordies know how to have fun, unlike people from the south. Go live/work there for a bit. You will see what I mean.
the geordie accent frustrates me, it's one of the only accents that i can't do, i'd probably end up offending everyone by accidently trying to talk like them and failing miserably


and in the future when someone asks me where i went to uni i'll be able to say 'in Oxford' and i won't be lying

EDDIE IZZARD IS GOD...no, wait, that's James Mason...as well you know....

Ah, there's nothing that will both unite and divide two cultures like insults. I learned some terrific ones in Greek from my ex:

MaLAHka = your basic "fucker" (also used as a male-bonding familiar-insult)
MaLAHkoTREHno = literally "fucker-train"
SouVLEE = "pubic louse/wart"
and the mild but fun to say, peegiNEH stoh Thialoh = "go to hell/the devil"

As for English, I like both UK and US variants.

wanker (and if the subject is truly a spectacle) wank festival
ass-clown (and the more technical) ass-spelunker
slapnuts
fuckwit
turdburglar (mild, but has an amusing assonance...which is not an insult...)
turdknuckle
shitbird (especially for annoying and/or insignificant people)
jackass (especially when said in a quick sotto yell, like the guy from the Adam Sandler movies)
bastard (see Eddie Izzard's Circle for a linguistic thesis on this one)
jizz-mopper (especially because a close friend temporarily had that job at a porn shop)
fart blossom (lovingly adapted from A Midsummer Night's Dream's "chancreblossom")

And from the hilarious movie South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut, we get these wonderful conflations:

testicle-shitting rectal wart
boner-biting bastard
donkey-raping assmaster
(and I hope I don't get banned for actually posting this...)
Barbara Streisand

the geordie accent frustrates me, it's one of the only accents that i can't do, i'd probably end up offending everyone by accidently trying to talk like them and failing miserably


and in the future when someone asks me where i went to uni i'll be able to say 'in Oxford' and i won't be lying

I'll tell you this though tink. Being geordie is more than being born there. I wasn't born there, but I spent a sizeable portion of my life there. I live in New York City now, but I often go back to my only home, and there is nothing in the world like the feeling when you cross the Stephenson transport bridge back to Newcastle no the train. Or when your flight crosses St. Mary's Isand on the final approach to Newcastle airport.

But the accent thing is true. You have to be born there to do it.

I'll tell you this though tink. Being geordie is more than being born there. I wasn't born there, but I spent a sizeable portion of my life there. I live in New York City now, but I often go back to my only home, and there is nothing in the world like the feeling when you cross the Stephenson transport bridge back to Newcastle no the train. Or when your flight crosses St. Mary's Isand on the final approach to Newcastle airport.

But the accent thing is true. You have to be born there to do it.
i think everyone feels that way about the place that they were brought up though, I called Blackpool a hell hole but I do love it, and i'll always think of it as my home

Originally Posted by Lacadaemon

Well, no-one in Newcastle will laugh at you because you are going to Northumbia - or whatever the hell they call Newcastle Polytech these days. Or at least not much.

Second, and I can't stress this to much, THE GEORDIE ACCENT IS THE SEXIEST ACCENT IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVAR.

Plus, Geordies know how to have fun, unlike people from the south. Go live/work there for a bit. You will see what I mean

Pah us brummies are better :D We know how to have more fun...and the geordie accent really isn't that good *ahem* sorry if I offend everybody, I am a 'dirty southerner' assuming you are all from geordieland lol

Anyway a word you ahev AAAALLLL missed and it is the best...
Gobshite!

:headbang:

i think everyone feels that way about the place that they were brought up though, I called Blackpool a hell hole but I do love it, and i'll always think of it as my home

Yah, but I was not "brought" up there. I only did highschool and six-form there. Then I went to college here in the states, then I went back and worked there for a few years. Then I came back here.

I also lived in London for two years, and Charleston SC, for one and a half.

Just go try it. You'll love it. It is the funniest place in the world. All my american friends who go there love it too.

Yah, but I was not "brought" up there. I only did highschool and six-form there. Then I went to college here in the states, then I went back and worked there for a few years. Then I came back here.

I also lived in London for two years, and Charleston SC, for one and a half.

Just go try it. You'll love it. It is the funniest place in the world. All my american friends who go there love it too.
I won't know anyone there though

Pah us brummies are better :D We know how to have more fun...and the geordie accent really isn't that good *ahem* sorry if I offend everybody, I am a 'dirty southerner' assuming you are all from geordieland lol

Anyway a word you ahev AAAALLLL missed and it is the best...
Gobshite!

:headbang:

We speak english the way it is meant to be spoken, bonny lad.

With the vowels.

Methinks the thread's been hijacked....

I'll tell you this though tink. Being geordie is more than being born there. I wasn't born there, but I spent a sizeable portion of my life there. I live in New York City now, but I often go back to my only home, and there is nothing in the world like the feeling when you cross the Stephenson transport bridge back to Newcastle no the train. Or when your flight crosses St. Mary's Isand on the final approach to Newcastle airport.

But the accent thing is true. You have to be born there to do it.
Sits eating a Gregg's cheese savoury stottie feeling sorry for the geordie abroad!
Wait, got to go to Seaton Deleval for some Ice Cream!

And from the hilarious movie South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut, we get these wonderful conflations:

testicle-shitting rectal wart
boner-biting bastard
donkey-raping assmaster
(and I hope I don't get banned for actually posting this...)
Barbara Streisand
you forgot ass spelunker.

I won't know anyone there though

Don't matter, geordies are the friendliest people in the world. (Well unless you fuck them off, the they will glass you, but I doubt that will ever happen to you).


Out of all the places my US friends have visited, they always say that geordieland is the most friendly.

And in any event, if you go on a school program, you'll meet lots of new friends. That's how it works. Never, ever, choose a program because you think you will have friends there. It will all turn out bad.

Frankly, your real concern should be which school has the most competitive program.

you forgot ass spelunker.

Dude.

On that note, "Closet Cleaner" is apparently Cockney slang for that same term.

an Englishman's home is his castle
that's hardly the same, now is it tink?

Sits eating a Gregg's cheese savoury stottie feeling sorry for the geordie abroad!
Wait, got to go to Seaton Deleval for some Ice Cream!

How man, ya bastad. I want me marshall's chip stottie with gravy.

you forgot ass spelunker.

Read the whole post. I didn't put it in the South Park bit because it's not a conflation. Ass spelunker became so popular when I was studying for my master's that it just became part of the lexicon and lost it's South Park reference.

Dude.
it's from the movie. the scene in the mr mackey's office, where the list of words they said was being read aloud. this is as best as i can remember it:
mr mackey: where did you boys here this naughty language?
kyle: uhhhh, mr garrison.
mr mackey: i seriously doubt that mr garrison ever said "go fuck yourself, you ass spelunker."
all four boys: (giggle uncontrollably)

edit: intangelon, sorry, i missed that part.

Don't matter, geordies are the friendliest people in the world. (Well unless you fuck them off, the they will glass you, but I doubt that will ever happen to you).


Out of all the places my US friends have visited, they always say that geordieland is the most friendly.

And in any event, if you go on a school program, you'll meet lots of new friends. That's how it works. Never, ever, choose a program because you think you will have friends there. It will all turn out bad.

Frankly, your real concern should be which school has the most competitive program.
it's nursing, wherever i go to uni i'm gonna get a job afterwards! it's not just because of my friends, it's a nice place, it's far away from my family and from what i can tell from the website, the uni seems like a good one

it's from the movie. the scene in the mr mackey's office, where the list of words they said was being read aloud. this is as best as i can remember it:
mr mackey: where did you boys here this naughty language?
kyle: uhhhh, mr garrison.
mr mackey: i seriously doubt that mr garrison ever said "go fuck yourself, you ass spelunker."
all four boys: (giggle uncontrollably)

edit: intangelon, sorry, i missed that part.

Yeah, I know! I just like saying "dude". It fits.

Closet Cleaner is better than Ass Spelunker, though.

Yeah, I know! I just like saying "dude". It fits.

Closet Cleaner is better than Ass Spelunker, though.
i dunno. one so rarely gets to use cave exploration in a derogatory sense.

How man, ya bastad. I want me marshall's chip stottie with gravy.
There's a thought, might pop out at lunch and get a chip stottie with a splash of curry sauce. Or should it be a corned beef pattie? If I stand on the desk I can nearly see St Mary's.
Anyone wants to come to this area will ove it. More Castles than you can shake a S##tty stick at, lovely country side, craster kippers, then best shore line and sand, good shopping, the best team in the world, the best beer, stotties, greggs sausage rolls, flights to Rome, Paris Berlin etc from £30 return. Could go on for pages!

i dunno. one so rarely gets to use cave exploration in a derogatory sense.

True. However, "Closet Cleaner" is more subtle, and sounds infinitely filthier when you think about it :D.

True. However, "Closet Cleaner" is more subtle, and sounds infinitely filthier when you think about it :D.
granted. however, i think we'll just have to agree to disagree.

it's nursing, wherever i go to uni i'm gonna get a job afterwards! it's not just because of my friends, it's a nice place, it's far away from my family and from what i can tell from the website, the uni seems like a good one

Then go to newcastle. They'll even give you a job up there. (Honestly I don't know anything about nursing programmes; but I do know that there is a shortage of nurses. Just don't take a job at rake lane, there is problems on their horizon.)


But really, go to newcastle. No-one I have ever met regrets it.

Then go to newcastle. They'll even give you a job up there. (Honestly I don't know anything about nursing programmes; but I do know that there is a shortage of nurses. Just don't take a job at rake lane, there is problems on their horizon.)


But really, go to newcastle. No-one I have ever met regrets it.
RVI one of the best teaching Hospitals around. Then there is the General for Plastics (reconstructive rather than other crap) and the Freeman for Cardio. Gotta be the toon.

granted. however, i think we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Agreed :p.

There's a thought, might pop out at lunch and get a chip stottie with a splash of curry sauce. Or should it be a corned beef pattie? If I stand on the desk I can nearly see St Mary's.
Anyone wants to come to this area will ove it. More Castles than you can shake a S##tty stick at, lovely country side, craster kippers, then best shore line and sand, good shopping, the best team in the world, the best beer, stotties, greggs sausage rolls, flights to Rome, Paris Berlin etc from £30 return. Could go on for pages!

Yes, sadly this is all true. Damn, you America, why don't you have chip stottie?.

RVI one of the best teaching Hospitals around. Then there is the General for Plastics (reconstructive rather than other crap) and the Freeman for Cardio. Gotta be the toon.

That's true, the RVI kicks ass, as does the Freeman.

Don't go to Rake Lane though. That's not a proper hospital.

Yes, sadly this is all true. Damn, you America, why don't you have chip stottie?.
Well see you about Geordie, got to get some work done. But when I'm drinking in the town tomorrow night I'll think of you, and when I head home Kebbab in hand I will eat a bit for you.

Well see you about Geordie, got to get some work done. But when I'm drinking in the town tomorrow night I'll think of you, and when I head home Kebbab in hand I will eat a bit for you.

Cheers bonny lad. My heart is with you.

I am actually tempted to apply for Newcastle now lol

I am actually tempted to apply for Newcastle now lol

Aye, just do it tink. You'll never regret it.

I am actually tempted to apply for Newcastle now lol
well you shouldn't be applying to just one school anyway tinky. and personally, i recommend University of Illionois in Chicago.

well you shouldn't be applying to just one school anyway tinky. and personally, i recommend University of Illionois in Chicago.

Yes, while diveristy of application is always admirable, there are two flaws with that plan.

1. Chicago.

2. University of Illinios.

Otherwise it is all good.

well you shouldn't be applying to just one school anyway tinky. and personally, i recommend University of Illionois in Chicago.
I wasn't gonna, the other 2 i was gonna apply for are Bristol and Leicester


and i've been through this a million times, over here, it's free to study nursing cause of the NHS, if i go abroad i will have to pay, now where would the sense in that be?

Yes, sadly this is all true. Damn, you America, why don't you have chip stottie?.

Awright, just what, in the name of Zeus's butthole, is "chip stottie"? I know "chips" are essentially fries (French, freedom or otherwise), "biscuits" are cookies, "crisps" are chips, but I've never heard of "stottie".

Help out a poor stupid Yank with a definition, willya?

Yes, while diveristy of application is always admirable, there are two flaws with that plan.

1. Chicago.

2. University of Illinios.

Otherwise it is all good.
i take issue with that, sir, and demand satisfaction!

I wasn't gonna, the other 2 i was gonna apply for are Bristol and Leicester


and i've been through this a million times, over here, it's free to study nursing cause of the NHS, if i go abroad i will have to pay, now where would the sense in that be?
i wasn't actually seriously suggesting you do that, jsut testing for a reaction. there's rarely a sound reason to school abroad. it's costly, and not usually better enough of an education to justify the expense.

Awright, just what, in the name of Zeus's butthole, is "chip stottie"? I know "chips" are essentially fries (French, freedom or otherwise), "biscuits" are cookies, "crisps" are chips, but I've never heard of "stottie".

Help out a poor stupid Yank with a definition, willya?

The stottie is the delicious bread that wraps around the chips. Basically, a stottie is a big individual pizza size piece of bread - though not to risen about an inch and a half.


Anyway, said stottie is split in half, then both parts are split again making "pockets". In other words they have an opening made in them, creating a pitta like pocket, without the crust ever beinfg cut.

The one procedes to stuff the stottie with chips, butter and sauce of choice. Personally, I like the onion gravy. Though many go for the curry sauce.

Of course, the exact definition of how the stottie sandwich varies upon where you get it. But all stotties are essentially circular semi-leavened peices of bread, which are around nine inches in diameter.

i take issue with that, sir, and demand satisfaction!

Well maybe I am being too hard on Chicago. I spent a month there once, and subjectively it was like ten thousand years, so in many respects it did expand my life expectancy.

But it is what it is.

Well maybe I am being too hard on Chicago. I spent a month there once, and subjectively it was like ten thousand years, so in many respects it did expand my life expectancy.

But it is what it is.
i'm just sayin. if your life expectancy's length is as important to you as this post makes it sound, never badmouth the city in front of a Chicagoan. we're crazy. we will hurt you, and have funny accents and poor grammar (thanks chi public schools) while we do it.

The stottie is the delicious bread that wraps around the chips. Basically, a stottie is a big individual pizza size piece of bread - though not to risen about an inch and a half.


Anyway, said stottie is split in half, then both parts are split again making "pockets". In other words they have an opening made in them, creating a pitta like pocket, without the crust ever beinfg cut.

The one procedes to stuff the stottie with chips, butter and sauce of choice. Personally, I like the onion gravy. Though many go for the curry sauce.

Of course, the exact definition of how the stottie sandwich varies upon where you get it. But all stotties are essentially circular semi-leavened peices of bread, which are around nine inches in diameter.
huh? we definatley don't get them where i live :eek: :(

and a note to Intangelon: chips are different to french/freedom (what a lame name) fries in that they are bigger and actually made of potato.


chips:
http://bikesandbeef.co.uk/ridepics/morebeersthangears/chips.jpg

fries:
http://whyfiles.org/128potato_blight/images/fries.jpg

I'm hungry now dammit, i want chips!

I'm hungry now dammit, i want chips!
me too:(

damnit there are no good chip shops i've found in cardiff! :mad:

me too:(

damnit there are no good chip shops i've found in cardiff! :mad:
i believe we do have chips in america, just not in fast food restaurants. we still call them fries, they're just usually called "homestyle." unless there's another difference of which i am not aware. and yes, i too now want some damn fries/ chips.

me too:(

damnit there are no good chip shops i've found in cardiff! :mad:
there's a really awesome one round the corner from me but I went on Tuesday, i feel fat going in more than once in a week

i believe we do have chips in america, just not in fast food restaurants. we still call them fries, they're just usually called "homestyle." unless there's another difference of which i am not aware. and yes, i too now want some damn fries/ chips.
fair enough. i wasn't totally sure whether you had em over there or not, tbh. i've been to the US 3 or 4 times and the only time i've encountered 'british chips' is at the british fish & chip shop on pier 39 in SF:)

fair enough. i wasn't totally sure whether you had em over there or not, tbh. i've been to the US 3 or 4 times and the only time i've encountered 'british chips' is at the british fish & chip shop on pier 39 in SF:)
i've never been, but i don't doubt that you found it to be rubbish.

how about ..."shit dick", "mule jockey", "cue ball", "fudge packer", "meat head", "bone brain"...to mention a few

Awright, just what, in the name of Zeus's butthole, is "chip stottie"? I know "chips" are essentially fries (French, freedom or otherwise), "biscuits" are cookies, "crisps" are chips, but I've never heard of "stottie".

Help out a poor stupid Yank with a definition, willya?
http://www.mg002b3988.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/leeks.htm (http://)
http://www.geordie.org.uk/ (http://)
Hayer sel a scan o' these bonnie lad.

i've never been, but i don't doubt that you found it to be rubbish.
nah didn't eat there... had a chocolate ice cream waffle cone thingy instead:D

there's a really awesome one round the corner from me but I went on Tuesday, i feel fat going in more than once in a week
yeah my regular day for chips is saturday, but only when i'm back in southampton. there's an excellent chippie 5 minutes walk away

my nan just rung me to see if i wanted some chippy chips bringing in so it looks like i'm gonna get some afterall, w00t!

The stottie is the delicious bread that wraps around the chips. Basically, a stottie is a big individual pizza size piece of bread - though not to risen about an inch and a half.


Anyway, said stottie is split in half, then both parts are split again making "pockets". In other words they have an opening made in them, creating a pitta like pocket, without the crust ever beinfg cut.

The one procedes to stuff the stottie with chips, butter and sauce of choice. Personally, I like the onion gravy. Though many go for the curry sauce.

Of course, the exact definition of how the stottie sandwich varies upon where you get it. But all stotties are essentially circular semi-leavened peices of bread, which are around nine inches in diameter.
The closet we have got is the Chip Buddy
Basically chips in bread with the glorious Yellow Spread and Sauce!
hmmmmmmmmmmm i want one now! :(

I'm not sure what is the bst accent ever for the english but I yav a deep love for republic of ireland's.
Arse bandit
Shit shuffler.

SCUMTARD
adj. 1. A gene pool reject characterized by any combination of three or more:

<snip>

Example:
“Do you believe the nads on this scumtard, asking for his narcotic refill 27 days early?”


It's a noun, not an adjective.

Thanks, L-Daemon, for the definition, Pure Metal for the pics, and NianNorth, neither of your links worked (browser showed me an empty screen for 30 seconds -- my law of Net patience says I wait no longer than that with DSL).

I'm not a "fries" fan, meself. Your UK chips seem to be more along the lines of larger "steak fries" or better yet, what are called "jo-jo potatoes" or just "jo-jos" here in the US.

The notion of the stottie sounds like something I'd like all too much, being the huge carbohydrate addict that I am. Sounds like a bit of a coronary occlusion wrapped in flatbread, but yummy!

So what sauce do you chip-munching UKers like on your chips? I am partial to tartar sauce, honey-mustard, barbecue sauce (especially Sweet Baby Ray's Honey BBQ), or some of the conflated "fry sauces" that restaurants and shops come up with (they're usually some form of mayonnaise and spices -- cheaper ones just fuse mayo and ketchup/bad BBQ sauce). [/hijack]

-snip-

Wait a minute... Jo-Jo's? I've never heard anyone call them Jo-Jo's.

ROFLMFAO!!!! That's hilarious! LOL!

Good one, WL! :D

Wait a minute... Jo-Jo's? I've never heard anyone call them Jo-Jo's.

Could be a West Coast thing, I don't know. Jo-jos tend to be large sections of potato that are breaded before they're fried. They're not staggeringly popular here, but they have their own legion of fans. I try to save my consumption of that much starch for pasta and the lovely white sticky rice that comes with yummy Thai/Chinese/Indian food.