NationStates Jolt Archive

My relationship with my bf.

He doesn't seem to get that my parents can't afford to pay for my entire education, so I need a job. Since I have a job in the city my school is in, I'm not going to leave unless I have a job that's at least as good or better in the city he's in. I have spent summers in that city looking for jobs and not finding any, hell, of the 20 resumes I put out, I haven't got a single response...

And so, this plus the fact that I cannot afford to go see him all the time at the drop of a hat, and don't end up having the desire to do so when he says things like "I don't care" or "Don't bother" after I say I can go see him for a day or two.

I'm just pissed off right now. What the fuck? Gah! Men suck.

Sorry to hear that.

Men suck.

Oh, I agree all too much sometimes. ;)

Well, I feel for you sweetie........losing a boyfriend, even if just breaking up with him, is terribly difficult. Sometimes you need to though; sometimes you need to help yourself before you can help anyone else.

You need to think about what you need and want out of life, try and accomplish that to the best of your abilities, before you can commit yourself fully to a relationship. You are young still......live your life; there is plenty of time to settle down and engage in a relationship later in your life.

Plus, without a job or education, you are not going to get far in a money driven world.

But hey, I know you probably do not want to hear this, you will probably rip me a new asshole, but warn me beforehand. I like to have the paramedics on stand by. ;) But if you ever need to vent, hunt down my main nation, AIM, or MSN and you can verbally kick the shit out of me if you need to.

My relationship with my bf.

He doesn't seem to get that my parents can't afford to pay for my entire education, so I need a job. Since I have a job in the city my school is in, I'm not going to leave unless I have a job that's at least as good or better in the city he's in. I have spent summers in that city looking for jobs and not finding any, hell, of the 20 resumes I put out, I haven't got a single response...

And so, this plus the fact that I cannot afford to go see him all the time at the drop of a hat, and don't end up having the desire to do so when he says things like "I don't care" or "Don't bother" after I say I can go see him for a day or two.

I'm just pissed off right now. What the fuck? Gah! Men suck.

Sorry, hun.

this is what country music was made for

"he's the one who will be missing you, you'll only miss the man you wanted him to be"

this is what country music was made for

"he's the one who will be missing you, you'll only miss the man you wanted him to be"
Sorry to threadjack, but I heard somewhere that country music causes inbreeding. is that true? :confused:

EDIT: And dakini, sorry you had to break up :(

this is what country music was made for

"he's the one who will be missing you, you'll only miss the man you wanted him to be"
heh.

I'm not terribly sad right now.

I'm pissed off is all. What the hell does he want? I've put him ahead of school for the past year (with horrible consequences for my GPA) I've put him above friends and family and that's not enough. I can't put him ahead of my future anymore, so I won't.

I get the feeling he wouldn't be so damn needy if he didn't go out and get a damn job. Even if he hated the damn job, he would have something to do, that would keep his mind off me not being around and that would also allow him to feel productive, but no, he puts a half-assed effort into his job search and bitches about being broke. I'm a bit fed up really and usually, I am so patient... fuck.

At least he won't start fights with me the night before midterms anymore, I guess.

heh.

I'm not terribly sad right now.

I'm pissed off is all. What the hell does he want? I've put him ahead of school for the past year (with horrible consequences for my GPA) I've put him above friends and family and that's not enough. I can't put him ahead of my future anymore, so I won't.

I get the feeling he wouldn't be so damn needy if he didn't go out and get a damn job. Even if he hated the damn job, he would have something to do, that would keep his mind off me not being around and that would also allow him to feel productive, but no, he puts a half-assed effort into his job search and bitches about being broke. I'm a bit fed up really and usually, I am so patient... fuck.

At least he won't start fights with me the night before midterms anymore, I guess.

Query: Have you told him you're sick of his needy attitude?

His general reaction to criticism is to shut down. I know I've told him that it's a long distance relationship, he can't expect me to be around all the time and I do try to see him as much as I can, even though he doesn't seem to believe it.

Hell, I just complimented him (he called himself a dumb college boy and I told him he wasn't et c) and he said he didn't need to hear it.

His general reaction to criticism is to shut down.

Hell, I just complimented him (he called himself a dumb college boy and I told him he wasn't et c) and he said he didn't need to hear it.

I hate to say it, but he sounds like a pretty crappy boyfriend. You certainly deserve better than to feel guilty for looking out for yourself. Why can't he be the one to uproot and come be with you?

That blows. A while back, my wife got a job as an executive and has really been building up her company, but we've lost a lot of time together. I was quite a jerk about it for a while, and I'm still sort of resentful about coming behind work. But the fact is, she's more than earned the right to her career, and she's accomplishing a lot. She makes time for me when she can, and the time we do have is now better spent. Maybe your next s.o. will be cooler about it.

Anyway, I hope the breakup is amicable and you come through without any baggage. It sounds like you've got good reasons.

heh.

I'm not terribly sad right now.

I'm pissed off is all. What the hell does he want? I've put him ahead of school for the past year (with horrible consequences for my GPA) I've put him above friends and family and that's not enough. I can't put him ahead of my future anymore, so I won't.

I get the feeling he wouldn't be so damn needy if he didn't go out and get a damn job. Even if he hated the damn job, he would have something to do, that would keep his mind off me not being around and that would also allow him to feel productive, but no, he puts a half-assed effort into his job search and bitches about being broke. I'm a bit fed up really and usually, I am so patient... fuck.

At least he won't start fights with me the night before midterms anymore, I guess.
So this is a time portal and you're my ex-girlfriend, right?

Nah, couldn't be-but close enough.

Having been that dipshit you'd think I could provide some insight to what he's doing...but nope. He's, I imagine (not actually knowing the cat) just being a brat. With nothing goin' on but you he's living and dieing by you. So if you've got other things goin' on...well...So he's kinda playing that "I'm taking my ball and going home" thing-being wounded requires attention. But, as you are all to aware now, that gets old fast.

You'll make him a better boyfriend breaking up with him. He might even actually get a job and go back to college eventually and then spend a little bit of time on the internet making fun of the jackass he used to be...um...I mean...

sorry to hear that, even though I don't know you and wasn't even sure you where a chick until I clicked the link...but, yeah...

I hate to say it, but he sounds like a pretty crappy boyfriend. You certainly deserve better than to feel guilty for looking out for yourself. Why can't he be the one to uproot and come be with you?
I suggested that. He has family around here and the job market here is as good as the job market there... he just doesn't feel he should have to move. For a while, this made sense, as he had a job there, now he doesn't. There really isn't anything tying him to the city, he just doesn't feel he should have to make the effort anymore.

I don't think I want to make the effort either. I'm sick of it.

I suggested that. He has family around here and the job market here is as good as the job market there... he just doesn't feel he should have to move. For a while, this made sense, as he had a job there, now he doesn't. There really isn't anything tying him to the city, he just doesn't feel he should have to make the effort anymore.

I don't think I want to make the effort either. I'm sick of it.

Well it's ludicrous for him to expect you to sacrifice important aspects of your life to be with him when he's unwilling to make a similar sacrifice. If he doesn't want to pick up and move to be with you, why does he think you would want to?

edit: Ack! Fecking internet. I have to go. Drop me a TG sometime if you ever want to talk.


...stupid roommate....

At least be glad you made it that far. It's better to have loved and lost, after all.... and I'm walking proof. Trust me; getting dumped or losing out on a relationship is much better than what I've been going through for the last 20 years. Every time I try to socialize, something goes wrong. I get invited to parties that end as soon as I show up, or I find out about them after they happen. Any time I try to make plans with $WOMAN something comes up, and to top it all off I'm still fucking nuts for a chick I knew in high school that lives at least a good 500 miles away.

Fuck that.

Not the end of the world, not by a long shot.

And now you know to dump the needy as soon as possible.

Get on with your own life!

Plenty of better men in time. Take your time.

Thats really sad id say if you were being paid a fair wage and could maybe drop a bit to stick with him but thats just me.
PS id do it for a girl im a guy and im not GAy! ;)

I know it's not the end of the world.

It's just been irritating. He's acting like it's all my fault. I'm at least trying.

Thats really sad id say if you were being paid a fair wage and could maybe drop a bit to stick with him but thats just me.
PS id do it for a girl im a guy and im not GAy! ;)
Well, I've sat around in my hometown in summers and not gotten anything at all. Something is better than nothing in terms of money and since I haven't heard a damn thing from anywhere I applied to.

I know it's not the end of the world.

It's just been irritating. He's acting like it's all my fault. I'm at least trying.

Wife #3 was married for 12 years to a guy she met out of high school - he never grew up, never could hold a job, and was always full of excuses.

He ended up being a wife beater.

It's not your fault. You're just maturing and he isn't.

Thats really sad id say if you were being paid a fair wage and could maybe drop a bit to stick with him but thats just me.
PS id do it for a girl im a guy and im not GAy! ;)

Ah...working internet.

The point, though, is that she has a lot invested in the place that she's currently living, while he has nothing where he is, but he expects her to pick up and move her life for him while he's not willing to do the same for her. Obviously, Dakini has a lot more reason to stay where she is than her boyfriend has to stay where he is. But he expects her to forget about that and only think about being with her. That's really not fair to her at all.

I know it's not the end of the world.

It's just been irritating. He's acting like it's all my fault. I'm at least trying.


This is somewhat of the reason my wife and I split up. After working 11 hrs a day to pay the bills, I'd come home and be expected to cater to her every need - including, but not limited to, cleaning, cooking, etc. Since she moved back to her parents, I've not been happier in quite some time. I have time to do my things again - I play soccer, surf the net. Hell, I spent 4 1/2 hours washing and waxing my truck last saturday (and my shoulders got sunburned to prove it).

Just dump him, get it over with and move on with your life.

Just out of curiosity, where do you go to school and how old are you again? ;)

I swear, the thread title here is the understatement of the year so far. It's over.