NationStates Jolt Archive

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months. i did not hear this from her, although it has been confirmed by, well, everyone. she still denies it (even though she has nothing to lose, i told her we ain't getting back together anytime soon, or ever for that matter) and is clearly lying, even to a casual observer. it's amazing, because she still talks about trust issues that she has with me (i've never even come close to cheating on her, the closest would have been trying to swing a threeway), she still talks about us getting back together in the future. she used to say all the time "i don't cheat. i know what it's like to be cheated on." at this point, i find it kinda funny. she's incapable of love.

who's betrayed you? tell me tell me tell me!

edit: i should mention that i school 350 miles away from her, although that's no excuse.

Who needs Ricky Lake or Jerry Springer, when you have posts like these?

Who need Ricky Lake or Jerry Springer, when you have posts like these?
seriously. i know.

I was in a serious relationship and considering popping the question when I found out the girl I wanted to marry was cheating on me. I left her, and she tried to win me back, but I'd wised up by then. I'm actually glad she cheated. It saved me from what would have been a serious mistake.

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months. i did not hear this from her, although it has been confirmed by, well, everyone. she still denies it (even though she has nothing to lose, i told her we ain't getting back together anytime soon, or ever for that matter) and is clearly lying, even to a casual observer. it's amazing, because she still talks about trust issues that she has with me (i've never even come close to cheating on her, the closest would have been trying to swing a threeway), she still talks about us getting back together in the future. she used to say all the time "i don't cheat. i know what it's like to be cheated on." at this point, i find it kinda funny. she's incapable of love.

who's betrayed you? tell me tell me tell me!
My last girlfriend … a friend of hers died in an accident … I took off of 2 jobs to drive her 200 miles to visit her friends and family down where the friend that died lived

8 months later she finally tells me that when she was down there she had what equates to a 4 hour sexathon with 4 other people down there

That PISSED me off

My last girlfriend … a friend of hers died in an accident … I took off of 2 jobs to drive her 200 miles to visit her friends and family down where the friend that died lived

8 months later she finally tells me that when she was down there she had what equates to a 4 hour sexathon with 4 other people down there

That PISSED me off

That's awful. Hopefully you'll find (or have found) someone who appreciates kind acts like that.

Same to everyone else: Hopefully you'll find someone better and more suited to you. Just think of it like DC; saving you from a relationship that is a big mistake.

I was lucky; my boyfriend and ex-boyfriend never cheated on me.

Though...I had a friend who French kissed me spontaneously. I asked him about it; he gave me a bullshit excuse that it wasn't cheating. I didn't want the kiss, so, I know I didn't cheat...but it's still weird.

My bf cheated on me. He felt shitty about it and admitted it. I figured he wouldn't do it again, he really seemed to feel like shit about it and horribly regretted it.

The only thing that pisses me off is that I haven't done anything like that and he's the one who doesn't trust me.

The way things are going (completely separate issues) I'm not sure how much longer this will matter anyways.

My bf cheated on me. He felt shitty about it and admitted it. I figured he wouldn't do it again, he really seemed to feel like shit about it and horribly regretted it.

The only thing that pisses me off is that I haven't done anything like that and he's the one who doesn't trust me.
untrustworthy people always assume that everyone else is the same way.

That's terrible. It feels horrible to be cheated on. My husband cheated on me twice during some pretty rough times in our relationship. It's taken a lot of work, a lot of soul searching, and a lot of pain for us to get to the point where I can trust him again, and he can move beyond the pain his actions also caused him. I always swore I would never stay with someone who cheated, but when it actually came down to it, more factors were involved than just his infidelities. I won't say that I was a complete angel during this time, and I flirted and considered cheating, but I managed to hold back. HOWEVER, you might say I got a bit wise. I certainly would not put up with any further cheating. I bought our house in my name only, I am prepared to file for divorce and custody of our children, and I have made sure that my credit is good, and I can support family if I ever need to leave him. He knows this, we've talked about it, and he realises that trust is not blind faith. The consequences of any cheating he may indulge himself in are clearly outlined, so there can be no confusion, and frankly, it's important for both partners in a relationship to be self-reliant enough to support themselves if the relationship dissolves. I was much too dependent on him before.

In any case, being cheated on is akin to getting kicked in the stomach with heavy boots. It hurts, and it's hard to catch your breath.

My bf cheated on me. He felt shitty about it and admitted it. I figured he wouldn't do it again, he really seemed to feel like shit about it and horribly regretted it.

The only thing that pisses me off is that I haven't done anything like that and he's the one who doesn't trust me.
The way things are going (completely separate issues) I'm not sure how much longer this will matter anyways.
I had the same problem with my husband...he was so sure I was going to cheat or leave him and then HE did the dirty with someone else. I sure pointed that inequality out...and any time he gets proprietal, I give him that, "Don't try that bullshit with me" look, and he smartens up.

Still...it's like being accused of lying when you know you didn't. It sucks. Ditch the bastard. :p

A friend of mine was engaged at age 17 to a guy several years older than her. She found out she was pregnant and went to tell him, thinking it would be fine since they were already engaged. He informed her that he had been cheating on her with a girl she knew for months. I wasn't there, but I understand that she threw her engagement ring at him (hitting him squarely between the eyes with it), yelled quite a bit, and broke everything that could be broken on her way out the door (most of it fraternity memorabilia of his).

untrustworthy people always assume that everyone else is the same way.

Pretty much. I believe "projecting" is the technical term for it. My father never trusted my mother, yet he was the one who was sleeping around all the time.

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months. i did not hear this from her, although it has been confirmed by, well, everyone. she still denies it (even though she has nothing to lose, i told her we ain't getting back together anytime soon, or ever for that matter) and is clearly lying, even to a casual observer. it's amazing, because she still talks about trust issues that she has with me (i've never even come close to cheating on her, the closest would have been trying to swing a threeway), she still talks about us getting back together in the future. she used to say all the time "i don't cheat. i know what it's like to be cheated on." at this point, i find it kinda funny. she's incapable of love.

who's betrayed you? tell me tell me tell me!

edit: i should mention that i school 350 miles away from her, although that's no excuse.

Shouldn't you be trusting her?

She still denies it, though she has nothing to lose... so why don't you believe her?

By the way - "trying to swing a threeway" could easily be considered as an attempt at cheating.

I'm yet to see this pain-Never had a girlfriend. :mad:

All these cheating tales suck :(

I thought my heart was broken a few years back when I caught my guy & my (then) best friend together. Now I know my heart is fine & I'm so much better without him (& her) in my life.

That being said, I had cheated in the past. Ironically he was the one that cured me of that. But I have also been involved with someone who wasn't available - very bad...very, very bad indeed

I fin dit funny that women always accuse men of undressing other women with their eyes and such.....we merely look, they look, then they start screwing the bastard. i don;t get why men are the ones that are usually labeled as unfaithful. evcery cheater i have ever seen is a woman. Like the song says....make an ugly woman to be your wife ,and you'll be happy for the rest of your life...

I'm yet to see this pain-Never had a girlfriend. :mad:
you and me both buddy:(

My rubber inflatable babe never hurts me, 'cept for the time she popped while I... wait, this is a public forum, isn't it? Um... yeah, this never happened to me. Tough luck.

My rubber inflatable babe never hurts me, 'cept for the time she popped while I... wait, this is a public forum, isn't it? Um... yeah, this never happened to me. Tough luck.

Just make sure you empty each time before use... :D

In any case, being cheated on is akin to getting kicked in the stomach with heavy boots. It hurts, and it's hard to catch your breath.Exactly. I didn't find out my ex had been cheating on me until after we split up, but even then when I did, it hurt like hell.

Sorry to hear everyone else's tales. It sucks.

i'm gonna be the complete bitch in this thread and admit i am a cheating jerk (well i was, once). A while back i started seeing a guy when i already had a bf, i didn't sleep with him or anything but we went out a few times and did other things, my bf caught us in the end and there was a bit of a fight, we got back together though but then i had to dump him when i found out he'd been cheating on me, we came to the conclusion that it just wasn't gonna work out. I now know that cheating is very wrong and i would never ever do it again, back then i was young and naive and scared that i'd end up getting too serious with someone, plus i was going through my rebelious stage, not that any of that is a decent excuse, but now i've grown up a bit and i know i was a horrible person back then and i don't intend to go back to being that person

Aww don't worry Tink. You're in the teenage years, where you can just have fun, hang out and other stuff. Commitment is more likely to be secure when you are older.

Nope, never had a girlfriend, and somehow, I'm not optimistic about one for the foreseeable future either. Not unless I can get the hell out of this country!:p

Hey, at least this thread will prove one annoying stereotype wrong -- it ain't only us fellas who do the dirty deed to their partners. Both genders are bastards! Now they can both drown their sorrows together, and instead of saying 'men are bastards', or 'women are bitches', they can say both 'humans are t3h sux0rs'!

Just make sure you empty each time before use...

I have no idea what you're talking about, and I challenge you to prove otherwise.

Sorry to hear everyone else's tales. It sucks.

Oh, I wish I could afford one that su.. I mean... nothing.

By the way - "trying to swing a threeway" could easily be considered as an attempt at cheating.

Cheating requires the act to be without the consent of whomever you are cheating on. Having a three-way, while often a bad idea, is not cheating, as both members of the couple have consented to it occurring.

Cheating requires the act to be without the consent of whomever you are cheating on. Having a three-way, while often a bad idea, is not cheating, as both members of the couple have consented to it occurring.
and i think it should be mentioned that a. i was quite drunk, as were they, and b. it never, ever would have gotten out of the theoretical stage.

I'm yet to see this pain-Never had a girlfriend. :mad:
Hey, at least you've got something to look forward to!
And it's a very unpleasant feeling. Indescribable, though the post about being kicked in the stomach comes close.


To FairyTInkArisen, we have something in common! What nasty horrible people we are! ;)

Cheating requires the act to be without the consent of whomever you are cheating on. Having a three-way, while often a bad idea, is not cheating, as both members of the couple have consented to it occurring.

'Consent' is not always consent.

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months...
My ex (3 years together) cheated me for 15 months.

That case is actually quite complicated. I knew he was cheating on me about 5 months after (he started cheating). I never confronted him. I just changed our relationship into casual sex partners who enjoy each other s company....


hmmm actually I'm not going to share this with total strangers. Anyway. That wasn't the first time I've been cheated. And I admit I've cheated myself.

untrustworthy people always assume that everyone else is the same way.
This is how I figured out my ex was cheating on me.

I've never, ever gotten angry with a woman when she cheated on me.

I've always remained calm. The relationship is usually on the way to "OVER" before you find out, and when you find out, it's just confirmation, and I move on.

Oh, and I get tested for STDs the next day.

'Consent' is not always consent.

I was not referring to cases of rape here.

And regret does not equate to not giving consent.

you and me both buddy:(
PM? You've never had a girlfriend?

I was not referring to cases of rape here.

And regret does not equate to not giving consent.

No - I was not referring to 'rape', either... just to the fact that (as I have seen) some people will make concessions for their loved ones, with which they are never truly comfortable.

Often, that is a cause of regret, later.

For some reason, I find myself thinking of "Chasing Amy".

No - I was not referring to 'rape', either... just to the fact that (as I have seen) some people will make concessions for their loved ones, with which they are never truly comfortable.

Often, that is a cause of regret, later.

For some reason, I find myself thinking of "Chasing Amy".

If I tell you you can borrow my car (even though I am uncomfortable with letting you drive it) because you might get angry if I don't, I cannot then prosecute you for stealing my car. This is because, whether or not I did so for the right reasons, I did give consent.

I have no doubt that people will do things they are uncomfortable with because of a fear of losing someone. What they fail to realize is that this is their failing. If the person in question leaves because you won't do something that makes you uncomfortable, they are pretty worthless in the first place.

you and me both buddy:(
You know, PM, I might be able to set you up with my sister.... ;)

You know, PM, I might be able to set you up with my sister.... ;)
don't do that! :(

don't do that! :(
Why not? :confused:

You know, PM, I might be able to set you up with my sister.... ;)

Oh no you don't! he's reserved for Tink. :D

PM? You've never had a girlfriend?
in RL, no. :(
you sound suprised:confused:


but on the net i skipped all that and went striaght for the marrage! :p

:fluffle: tink :fluffle:

Why not? :confused:
because i want him!

because i want him!
w00t!

*hi-fives with someone*

in RL, no. :(
you sound suprised:confused:
Thats 'cos your too cool to possibly be single! :eek:

w00t!

*hi-fives with someone*

*Is there for the hi-five*

*Slap*

My sis'll be heartbroken :p lol

*contemplates quitting NS--all the females here are taken anyway*

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months.

who's betrayed you? tell me tell me tell me!
Hmm. So far as I know, no one ever has, but I tend to be a bit oblivious to that sort of thing so I suppose it's possible. I've never insisted on total exclusivity with women I've dated unless we got to the point where she brought the subject up. I always considered that a "decision point," and would often decide that I didn't want to get serious.

My sis'll be heartbroken. :p

*contemplates quitting NS--all the girls here are taken anyway*

*ahem*

in RL, no. :(
you sound suprised:confused:


but on the net i skipped all that and went striaght for the marrage! :p

:fluffle: tink :fluffle:
he sounds surprised because you're such a catch!




:fluffle: :fluffle:

*ahem*
*NS is too good for me to leave anyway* :D

:fluffle:

he sounds surprised because you're such a catch!

Exactly... you know, if it don't work out between you two... *Flutters eyelashes at PM... :D

Thats 'cos your too cool to possibly be single! :eek:


he sounds surprised because you're such a catch!




:fluffle: :fluffle:
:eek: :eek: *blushes*

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:



*Is there for the hi-five*

*Slap*
*another on the rebound*:D

Exactly... you know, if it don't work out between you two... *Flutters eyelashes at PM... :D
*pouts* ;) :D

*pouts* ;) :D

You really should drive to Blackpool one day and meet her yourself. :D

You really should drive to Blackpool one day and meet her yourself. :D
i know i should... ;) :)

but how long would it take you to get to london? i still think that it'd be easiest for all of us all to meet there :)

Dragging this thread back on topic (:p) the worst thing about what happened to me wasn't my guy cheating on me, but the fact it was my best friend. you can deal a lot easier with betrayal by a lover "plenty more fish in the sea" & all that, but it doesn't work so well with friends

Anyone else got any experience of that?

*pouts* ;) :D
I can see i'm gonna have to keep my eye on you two :p

i know i should... ;) :)

but how long would it take you to get to london? i still think that it'd be easiest for all of us all to meet there :)
not easier for me but oh well :rolleyes:


I've been to see about getting a job today so i might actually have some money to get down there soon, w00t!

i know i should... ;) :)

but how long would it take you to get to london? i still think that it'd be easiest for all of us all to meet there :)

I feel i'd get in the way... I think you two should meet first. You do have a car, after all. Somthing just tells me i'll let you down again.

not easier for me but oh well :rolleyes:


I've been to see about getting a job today so i might actually have some money to get down there soon, w00t!
gah, you live waaay too far away:p


"up north"http://www.ironmaiden.org/images/smilies/eyes.gif

I feel i'd get in the way...
That's exactly why I never make the first move.

I feel i'd get in the way... I think you two should meet first. You do have a car, after all. Somthing just tells me i'll let you down again.
let me/tink down again?

when did this happen? :confused:
i let u down by not coming down to yours & giving you the pc like i said i would. still sorry about that you know:(



and the summer hols is coming up... plenty of time to take that drive "up north" :D

gah, you live waaay too far away:p


"up north"http://www.ironmaiden.org/images/smilies/eyes.gif
well i guess i'm stuck having to get the train all the way down to London then, you'll just have to wait till i can afford it




and don't you be shiftyeyeing the north mister!

Ok how about if I put it this way. I don't like going too far from home. My paranoia still keeps me worried about the outside world. :(

well i guess i'm stuck having to get the train all the way down to London then, you'll just have to wait till i can afford it




and don't you be shiftyeyeing the north mister!
but "the north" is scary :eek:

and i'll have plenty of time in the summer to come up there :)

Ok how about if I put it this way. I don't like going too far from home. My paranoia still keeps me worried about the outside world. :(
:( fair enough dude

women do it more often than men do.

but "the north" is scary :eek:

and i'll have plenty of time in the summer to come up there :)

don't worry, you'd be quite safe with me! I'd protect you from all those nasty, scary northerners


and good!

don't worry, you'd be quite safe with me! I'd protect you from all those nasty, scary northerners


and good!
:fluffle: :fluffle:

:( fair enough dude

I'm sorry but i'm locked in a constant struggle with my mind to gain enough courage to do things... to be honest I was worried on that day when the PC was comming you'd be some evil murder or somthing... I actually felt relieved when you said you couldn't come...

...But I was happy when I saw that you kept your word about the PC. thanks man.

don't worry, you'd be quite safe with me! I'd protect you from all those nasty, scary northerners


and good!

You'd protect him from good? omg! Don't trust Tink, she's luring you to the dark side :p

...But I was happy when I saw that you kept your word about the PC. thanks man.
my pleasure :)

You'd protect him from good? omg! Don't trust Tink, she's luring you to the dark side :p
I'm as sweet and innocent as they come! *flutters eyelashes, puppy dog eyes* honestly............ *polishes halo*

my pleasure :)

I feel comfortable talking on NS. I know here that you can't hurt me.

I'm as sweet and innocent as they come! *flutters eyelashes, puppy dog eyes* honestly............ *polishes halo*

Hmmm...

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months. i did not hear this from her, although it has been confirmed by, well, everyone. she still denies it (even though she has nothing to lose, i told her we ain't getting back together anytime soon, or ever for that matter) and is clearly lying, even to a casual observer. it's amazing, because she still talks about trust issues that she has with me (i've never even come close to cheating on her, the closest would have been trying to swing a threeway), she still talks about us getting back together in the future. she used to say all the time "i don't cheat. i know what it's like to be cheated on." at this point, i find it kinda funny. she's incapable of love.

who's betrayed you? tell me tell me tell me!

edit: i should mention that i school 350 miles away from her, although that's no excuse.

I myself am a cheater. i have been married five years, and although our relationship is OK, its kind of tailing off. I got relly drunk with my mates one weekend, and me and one mate when back to these two girls flat. I phoned my wife on my mobile and told her I was too drunk to get home and would sleep at my friends house.
After much soul searching I still don't know the real reason i did it. The consequences of her ever finding out ar huge - divorce, losing my home, my children, yet still I did it. I could kid myself that it was great to be told I'm good looking and desirable for a change, but this would simply be an excuse.
I still carry the feeling of guilt ewith me now. Just typing this is filling my stomach with acid, and making me feel quite sick with myself.
I feel quite sorry for you, but don't dismiss her outright. After living with just these feelings, never mind the consequences of being found out, I can promise you from my heart that I would never stray again. If you can believe her when she says that to you then good luck. If my wife ever found out I just pray that she would believe me, as its true.

Hmmm...
*slips Iki a tenner* just go along with it ;)

I feel comfortable talking on NS. I know here that you can't hurt me.
*e-slaps TIN*

ahha! ;)



*polishes horns*
not like that... dirty minds, all of you ;)

*slips Iki a tenner* just go along with it ;)

*pockets the tenner*

hurrah! Made a profit on the day :)

Well i'm going to go home now and rest. This Migrane is really splitting my skull. See ya tomorrow folks!

Well i'm going to go home now and rest. This Migrane is really splitting my skull. See ya tomorrow folks!
later dude :)

hope you feel better soon

*pockets the tenner*

hurrah! Made a profit on the day :)
yeah, and don't feel bad that me and my 6 kids won't eat for 2 weeks now






bye TIN, hope you feel better soon *huggles*

the last time i got cheated on was when i was 18 the day after my graduation , i went to my g/f of 3 years apartment and what should i see when i went to surprise her?? but who i thought was one of good friends on top of her, thrusting. needless to say it all went to a blur aside from me telling him i was to going castrate him with a wooden salad spoon.......that was the last of him i ever saw, same with my ex-g/f..

the last time i got cheated on was when i was 18 the day after my graduation , i went to my g/f of 3 years apartment and what should i see when i went to surprise her?? but who i thought was one of good friends on top of her, thrusting. needless to say it all went to a blur aside from me telling him i was to going castrate him with a wooden salad spoon.......that was the last of him i ever saw, same with my ex-g/f..
Bummer, dude. Sorry that had to happen to you. :(

i was to going castrate him with a wooden salad spoon

Henchman: But my Lord! Why a spoon?

Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it will hurt more you idiot!

I myself am a cheater. i have been married five years, and although our relationship is OK, its kind of tailing off. I got relly drunk with my mates one weekend, and me and one mate when back to these two girls flat. I phoned my wife on my mobile and told her I was too drunk to get home and would sleep at my friends house.
After much soul searching I still don't know the real reason i did it. The consequences of her ever finding out ar huge - divorce, losing my home, my children, yet still I did it. I could kid myself that it was great to be told I'm good looking and desirable for a change, but this would simply be an excuse.
I still carry the feeling of guilt ewith me now. Just typing this is filling my stomach with acid, and making me feel quite sick with myself.
I feel quite sorry for you, but don't dismiss her outright. After living with just these feelings, never mind the consequences of being found out, I can promise you from my heart that I would never stray again. If you can believe her when she says that to you then good luck. If my wife ever found out I just pray that she would believe me, as its true.

You should tell her. It'll be hard, but finding it out from a penitent husband is much better than finding out elsewhere and then having him try to apologize. She'll be much more likely to accept your apology as truthful if you just come out and tell her.

You should tell her. It'll be hard, but finding it out from a penitent husband is much better than finding out elsewhere and then having him try to apologize. She'll be much more likely to accept your apology as truthful if you just come out and tell her.

I knew someone would say that. As I've already told you, I have no wish to spend the rest of my life in a grotty bedsit with only weekends to play with my children. People ALWAYS say tel her, but I don't think anybody who hasn't been in this position really fully apreciates the almighty consequences. There would be no forgiveness, just divorce, homelessness, part-time fatherhood, a hate campaign and quite possible a severe beating from her family. Guilt is only just easier to live with

I knew someone would say that. As I've already told you, I have no wish to spend the rest of my life in a grotty bedsit with only weekends to play with my children. People ALWAYS say tel her, but I don't think anybody who hasn't been in this position really fully apreciates the almighty consequences. There would be no forgiveness, just divorce, homelessness, part-time fatherhood, a hate campaign and quite possible a severe beating from her family. Guilt is only just easier to live with
well, if there's no way that she'll find out then i think you're right not to tell her, it's better for her and it's better for your kids

I knew someone would say that. As I've already told you, I have no wish to spend the rest of my life in a grotty bedsit with only weekends to play with my children. People ALWAYS say tel her, but I don't think anybody who hasn't been in this position really fully apreciates the almighty consequences. There would be no forgiveness, just divorce, homelessness, part-time fatherhood, a hate campaign and quite possible a severe beating from her family. Guilt is only just easier to live with

You are doing her an incredible disservice. Every minute that you don't tell her is the same as cheating on her all over again. And if you don't trust in your union enough to think it would survive a crisis, then it probably isn't worth fighting for int he first place.

well, if there's no way that she'll find out then i think you're right not to tell her, it's better for her and it's better for your kids

There is no such thing as "no way that she'll find out." If it happened, it can come out.

There is no such thing as "no way that she'll find out." If it happened, it can come out.
i still think it's better not to tell her, if he does it'll be his kids that suffer the most

all i have to say is that i've had a couple of bf's cheat on me too, but don't let it get you down for future relationships, if you get what i'm saying. you can't let one jerk mess up the rest of your life, cause there's that someone out there just waitint to find a cool person like yourself, so keep your chin up and "carpe diem"!

You are doing her an incredible disservice. Every minute that you don't tell her is the same as cheating on her all over again. And if you don't trust in your union enough to think it would survive a crisis, then it probably isn't worth fighting for int he first place.

I don't think you quite understand. I'm not trying to save my marraige (that was practically over years ago, we both know that). What I'm trying to do is secure access to my children and everything that I have worked hard for over the last ten years of our relationship (last 5 years married). From your name I would presume that you are american and therefore have no idea how the family court system in Britain works. If she wants to shut you out of the kids lives, then she can. The courts ALWAYS side with the mother unless shes a drunk, a junkie or a hooker. I'm am average working schmo, I wouldn't stand a chance.

well, if there's no way that she'll find out then i think you're right not to tell her, it's better for her and it's better for your kids

As the other guy said, theres no such thing as "no way", but the possibility of it happening is real slim.

I don't think you quite understand. I'm not trying to save my marraige (that was practically over years ago, we both know that).

If your marriage is over, then you shouldn't be together in the first place. Believe me, your children can tell, and it is affecting them.

What I'm trying to do is secure access to my children and everything that I have worked hard for over the last ten years of our relationship (last 5 years married). From your name I would presume that you are american and therefore have no idea how the family court system in Britain works. If she wants to shut you out of the kids lives, then she can. The courts ALWAYS side with the mother unless shes a drunk, a junkie or a hooker. I'm am average working schmo, I wouldn't stand a chance.

Is your wife really such a horrible person that she would do that to her children? If so, why did you marry her in the first place?

Ok...I'm guilty... I white-washed my earlier post.

I never cheated on my current boyfriend, but when I was going out with my ex-boyfriend, I was unhappy, and I flirted with other guys...quite a bit, and fantasied about a friend of mine who wasn't single.

Its not a matter of being a horrible person. It's a matter of feeling bitter and betrayed. It can do funny things to a person.

Its not a matter of being a horrible person. It's a matter of feeling bitter and betrayed. It can do funny things to a person.
That is quite true.

Its not a matter of being a horrible person. It's a matter of feeling bitter and betrayed. It can do funny things to a person.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

I think there's a lot of men out there who didn't think there wives could be that cruel, but it happens, and fathers' just don't have the same rights as mothers in this country, it's sad, but true, yet another thing that Mr Blair has messed up

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

I think there's a lot of men out there who didn't think there wives could be that cruel, but it happens, and fathers' just don't have the same rights as mothers in this country, it's sad, but true, yet another thing that Mr Blair has messed up

Too true. I've seen it happen a lot of times. I've left my wife many times (but only cheated once) but I always go back. Your all probably right, we shouldn't be together, but I guess I'm just too scared (or gutless) to stay away permenently.

My first relationship I may or may not have been cheated on, however there would've been cheating had the other person consented, which is why I ended the relationship. My second relationship was short, as I did the cheating. There was no question of whether or not I would confess, I did, and it ended shortly after. The guilt was horrible, perhaps the worst feeling I've ever had, and therefore I know that I'd never cheat on anyone again, because of the guilt. I've been in my current relationship for over 5 years, and haven't cheated, in spite of having plenty of opportunities to do so.

Too true. I've seen it happen a lot of times. I've left my wife many times (but only cheated once) but I always go back. Your all probably right, we shouldn't be together, but I guess I'm just too scared (or gutless) to stay away permenently.Perhaps you could get her to sign some kind of agreement to have joint custody of the kids, and then leave her without telling her about the infidelity?

Too true. I've seen it happen a lot of times. I've left my wife many times (but only cheated once) but I always go back. Your all probably right, we shouldn't be together, but I guess I'm just too scared (or gutless) to stay away permenently.
at the very least, sit her down and ask her how she feels about your relationship in general. but your current situation is disingenuous to an extreme.
as for me and sharon, and just for the edification of all those who have posted on the subject, well, we would not have worked out at all. and it's not as thought the situation is entirely her fault. i've been ignoring and shutting things out for a while, trying to keep our sinkin little boat afloat. had i been a little more attentive, it probably would have ended about six months ago, and possibly a little more amiably. ah well. chalk it up to a learning experience.

well, i just found out that my gf of 1 year and 3 months has been cheating on me every now and again for the last 8 months. i did not hear this from her, although it has been confirmed by, well, everyone. she still denies it (even though she has nothing to lose, i told her we ain't getting back together anytime soon, or ever for that matter) and is clearly lying, even to a casual observer. it's amazing, because she still talks about trust issues that she has with me (i've never even come close to cheating on her, the closest would have been trying to swing a threeway), she still talks about us getting back together in the future. she used to say all the time "i don't cheat. i know what it's like to be cheated on." at this point, i find it kinda funny. she's incapable of love.

who's betrayed you? tell me tell me tell me!

edit: i should mention that i school 350 miles away from her, although that's no excuse.
what do you mean by cheating? are you saying that now and then your girlfriend would go out and get laid? you were dating a slut for a year and a half and had no clue?

sometimes "everyone" is wrong. they see something, talk it up, and decide on what it is regardless of what the truth is. i think you should talk to her about what people are saying and see what she has to say about it.

and if she was engaging in casual sex behind your back you are very lucky to be rid of her before she gave you some nasty disease.

snip
i have talked to her about it. she's not quite honest, but even then i can't deal with what she had been doing. as in, something mysterious behind closed doors at parties with random men. as in, going on breaks with the express purpose of doing specific men. i'm not actually sure how often she did it, as the story i've gotten from a bunch of her friends differs greatly from the one i got from her.

I've never cheated on a girlfriend and as far as i know i've never been cheated on. I had no idea i was in such a small minority. Sorry you guys :(

i have talked to her about it. she's not quite honest, but even then i can't deal with what she had been doing. as in, something mysterious behind closed doors at parties with random men. as in, going on breaks with the express purpose of doing specific men. i'm not actually sure how often she did it, as the story i've gotten from a bunch of her friends differs greatly from the one i got from her.
*shudder*

yeah you are better off without her.

All women cheat. Us men just have to learn to live with it. :-P

j/k - I got me a loyal one (we just satisfy our urges for other people by having them join both of us).

Yah it hurts to be cheated on. It's a tough one to forgive. If you love the person and want to spend your entire life with them, it's especially traumatizing. At least it was for me.

If you love the person and want to spend your entire life with them, it's especially traumatizing.
agreed. i was wearin the ring she gave me like i was marryin her, because, well, that was the plan. i got the ring tan goin.

the last time i got cheated on was when i was 18 the day after my graduation , i went to my g/f of 3 years apartment and what should i see when i went to surprise her?? but who i thought was one of good friends on top of her, thrusting. needless to say it all went to a blur aside from me telling him i was to going castrate him with a wooden salad spoon.......that was the last of him i ever saw, same with my ex-g/f..
After reading that, I'm now too scared to go and find myself a woman. :(

All women cheat. Us men just have to learn to live with it. :-P

j/k - I got me a loyal one (we just satisfy our urges for other people by having them join both of us).

Yah it hurts to be cheated on. It's a tough one to forgive. If you love the person and want to spend your entire life with them, it's especially traumatizing. At least it was for me.

Not all women cheat, but the vast majority do. I struck gold with the one lady I have met who would almost certainly never cheat on me. All my other crushes and even close friends had cheater potential, if not certainty. But not this one. She knows what it's like to be cheated on. She also knows that I carry a hockey stick and would take her head off if I caught her with another guy. Or another chick. Of course, if she caught me with another chick, I would take my own head off first.

After reading that, I'm now too scared to go and find myself a woman. :(
if hte last few days, and the reactions of pretty much all of my female friends and most of hers have tought me anything, it's that they are not all bad. most, actually, seem fanfuckingtastic. especially the lesbian one who is considering sending me a tape of her and friend of hers mudwrestling in the buff. mind you , such a tape does not yet exist. so moved was she by my predicament that she said she'd tape it. i thanked her profusely. like i said in whatever thread we were discussing this in, 1 set of female genitalia is hot. 2 is so much hotter.

if hte last few days, and the reactions of pretty much all of my female friends and most of hers have tought me anything, it's that they are not all bad. most, actually, seem fanfuckingtastic. especially the lesbian one who is considering sending me a tape of her and friend of hers mudwrestling in the buff. mind you , such a tape does not yet exist. so moved was she by my predicament that she said she'd tape it. i thanked her profusely. like i said in whatever thread we were discussing this in, 1 set of female genitalia is hot. 2 is so much hotter.
lol!

enjoy for yourself :p lol

sadly, watching 2 women together doesn't "get me off" like it does most guys. sorry, just the way I am. :(

lol!

enjoy for yourself :p lol

sadly, watching 2 women together doesn't "get me off" like it does most guys. sorry, just the way I am.
me either, but i certainly appreciate the thought. and she's really damn fine.

me either, but i certainly appreciate the thought. and she's really damn fine.
Cool. :cool: :)

After reading that, I'm now too scared to go and find myself a woman. :(

Meh. I couldn't care less. People make mistakes. I could forgive somebody for cheating on me, if they were sorry.

I cheated myself with a girl! :(
*kisses hand*
Sorry, I will never do this to you again!

lol!

enjoy for yourself :p lol

sadly, watching 2 women together doesn't "get me off" like it does most guys. sorry, just the way I am. :(

ANTICHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANTICHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO! :D

I was the cheater once. Felt guilty and 'fessed up immediately.
Was cheated on once. Found out eight months later when the "other woman" drunkenly 'fessed up.
They both suck.

I've never even come close to cheating on her, the closest would have been trying to swing a threeway,
Hmmmm I wonder why she could possibly have trust issues???? :eek:

Hmmmm I wonder why she could possibly have trust issues???? :eek:
actually that started out as more her idea, i just found it to be a good one. but no, i'm pretty sure she has trust issues because she was cheating on me at the time, and assumed, i guess, that i was doing the same.