NationStates Jolt Archive


Unintentionally Funny!

The Motor City Madmen
01-05-2005, 13:57
Let's find funny headlines and post them here.


Here is mine, from the AP:


From The Morning Call -- May 1, 2005

Wang helps stop Yank's slide

The Taiwanese righty allows Toronto six hits in seven innings.

By Ronald Blum
Of The Associated Press
ProMonkians
01-05-2005, 15:39
There was one on a sandwich board a couple of days ago from the Evening News (crappy Edinburgh local paper) that read "INSPECTORS SHOCK AT CHILDREN IN PRISONS". Which made me laugh as it gave the impression that the story was about an inspector being shocked at a perfectly common practice - kinda like Jew's shock as christian eats shelfish... :p
Bodies Without Organs
01-05-2005, 15:48
Two of my favourite headlines from local papers:

The Irish News camme up with DRUG DEALERS DEALT HEAVY BLOW, while the Belfast Telegraph producd the apparently unrelated series of four words FISH PLANT JOB BOOST.
ProMonkians
01-05-2005, 15:51
After Inverness Caledonian(Calley) Thistle defated Celtic in a surprise victory the Sun newspaper printed the legendary "SUPER CALLEY GO BALISTIC CELTIC ARE ATTROCIOUS" think Mary Poppins
Katzistanza
01-05-2005, 15:57
Once a saw a headline that read "Courts will try shooting suspect"
Nekone
01-05-2005, 17:01
From the Tonight Show with Jay Leno...

http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_2920/H_2920_05.jpg
Nadkor
01-05-2005, 17:06
After Inverness Caledonian(Calley) Thistle defated Celtic in a surprise victory the Sun newspaper printed the legendary "SUPER CALLEY GO BALISTIC CELTIC ARE ATTROCIOUS" think Mary Poppins
That is pure genius :D

"New Pope is a Hun" from the mildly satirical Portadown News
Flamebaittrolls
02-05-2005, 09:18
Colonel Ratzinger manipulates Papal conclave

He was a Cardinal, not a Colonel. Colonels dress a bit like this and Cardinals like this:
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/img/2005/ep08/ratklink.jpg :D
Demented Hamsters
02-05-2005, 13:29
The New Zealand Herald ran this headline for a recent murder case:
"Dead woman ran local massage parlour"
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/index.cfm?c_id=1&ObjectID=10123421
Which is kinda weird when you stop to think about it.
Harlesburg
02-05-2005, 13:33
Women hold top Jobs
another below it
Dollar sinks to all time low.

Ha Ha to bad the dollar is booming now. :(

That was from 2000!
Harlesburg
02-05-2005, 13:35
After Inverness Caledonian(Calley) Thistle defated Celtic in a surprise victory the Sun newspaper printed the legendary "SUPER CALLEY GO BALISTIC CELTIC ARE ATTROCIOUS" think Mary Poppins
Damn i wanted that!
*evil glare*
Vimeria
02-05-2005, 13:51
Women hold top Jobs
another below it
Dollar sinks to all time low.

I remember one a bit like that.

"First female tank driver in the Finnish army to drive a tank in a parade."
Below it:
"Traffic jams and special arrangements to be expected throughout the weekend."
Myrmidonisia
02-05-2005, 15:06
"On this date: . . . In 1996, former CIA Director William Colby was presumed drowned by authorities in Maryland after an apparent boating accident; his body was later recovered.

Today in History," Associated Press, April 29

Okay, it isn't a headline. But it is funny.
Myrmidonisia
02-05-2005, 15:07
"Birds May Be Behind Exploding German Toads"

headline, Associated Press, April 28
Kellarly
02-05-2005, 15:12
After Inverness Caledonian(Calley) Thistle defated Celtic in a surprise victory the Sun newspaper printed the legendary "SUPER CALLEY GO BALISTIC CELTIC ARE ATTROCIOUS" think Mary Poppins

ARGH! As soon as i saw this thread i thought of that headline! dammit! :p :D
Sirocco
02-05-2005, 15:22
"One-legged man deemed fit to stand trial."

I swear as I live and breathe.
Myrmidonisia
02-05-2005, 17:27
"Jail Official: Woman Who Hanged Self Seemed Disturbed"

headline, Tucson Citizen, April 29