NationStates Jolt Archive

:eek:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2005-04-29-burrito_x.htm?csp=34

School mistakes huge burrito for a weapon
CLOVIS, N.M. (AP) — A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.
Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

"There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door," said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

"The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'"

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

"He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,'" Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

"We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

"The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief," Morrissey said.

"Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy."


I suppose the school was just being cautious. Better than a headline the next day that said, "Twelve killed by giant burrito." :D

I saw that yesterday, I swear to God I couldn't stop laughing for twenty minutes.

My wife showed me this yesterday just before I headed off to work. I was hoping when I did a search that nobody else would have mentioned it yet. I was lucky. ;)

Great security the government has made sure of.

Hey, a giant burrito is nothing to laugh at. If it were a bean burrito, it could have been a Silent But Deadly weapon.

Heh. I can walk to Clovis from here.

It's a nutty part of California.

Man I miss the coast.

Hey, a giant burrito is nothing to laugh at. If it were a bean burrito, it could have been a Silent But Deadly weapon.

And look at the ingredients list! That could cause gastrointestinal bio-warfare that would kill canaries at 500 yards! :eek:

I'm conflicted.

First, headshakingly disappointed at the jumpy ass nation I occupy.

Second, teeth grindingly frustrated at schools being used to make kids good little consumers ('create advertising'...CAVEAT: I am jumping to conclusions and do not know the context of the teachers lesson, for all I know she is doing exactly what I hope all schools would do and teach kids how to criticly read media. But I'm going to be angry and presumptious instead, since I plan on doing nothing about it...)

Third, little Micheal Morrisey is my new junior 'hero in training'-a place that specializes in abnormally large burritos? Fight on, little shaver, fight on! May your dream catch on and I can get a 30" burrito. And die, happy and covered in burrito...

Damnit, now I want a burrito!

Damnit, now I want a burrito!
No joke, I was literally eating a burrito when I read this. It was tasty, too. You really should go get one, they are the perfect food delivery system. All things are better in burrito form. Even better now that they can make people jumpy.

The problem is that I can't get a burrito, not until tomorrow night. Damn Passover. Arrgh!

Heh. I can walk to Clovis from here.

It's a nutty part of California.

Man I miss the coast.Too bad this Clovis is in New Mexico.

I'm hungry now

i do believe as i am actually gonna get a burrito after i get drunk off my ass tonight.

Im eating imitation burritos right now. GIVE ME BLOOD.

The problem is that I can't get a burrito, not until tomorrow night. Damn Passover. Arrgh!

Abandoning religion over tasty burritos' (and tasty-kakes) is ok in my book. If I can't enjoy a 36" burrito (yes 36"), a bag of pork rinds, and a 6 pack of Natural Ice, I don't want any part of that religion.

BTW could there be a kosher burrito. Perhaps we should get Hebrew National to look into it.

It's a BMD.

Burrito of Mass Deliciousness.

No joke, I was literally eating a burrito when I read this. It was tasty, too. You really should go get one, they are the perfect food delivery system. All things are better in burrito form. Even better now that they can make people jumpy.

YAY! :D

Damn you, LG... I'm at work right now... this is sooo funny!! I look like I'm nuts, and it's all your fault! Damn you and your stories of the mistaken identities of 30 ince burritos!

I wanna go wherever this kid went to get this thing... oh man... mouth is just watering thinking about it...

what's a burrito? I've never had one, merely tales of the wondrous glory that they are.

Hehehe, a Burrito causes so trouble.
Good thing we wasn't carrying any metal tubes.

Hehehe, a Burrito causes so trouble.
Good thing we wasn't carrying any metal tubes.


Or an 18" Cheesesteak.

what's a burrito? I've never had one, merely tales of the wondrous glory that they are.
BLASPHEMOUS HERETIC!!! YOU MUST CONSUME ONE FOR THE SLAVATION OF YOUR SOUL! GO FORTH AND INGEST THIS WHOLLY AWESOME FOOD OF THE GODS!

BLASPHEMOUS HERETIC!!! YOU MUST CONSUME ONE FOR THE SLAVATION OF YOUR SOUL! GO FORTH AND INGEST THIS WHOLLY AWESOME FOOD OF THE GODS!

I'd have eaten them, but you try finding one near here. Two things that don't seem to exist in Glasgow are Burritos and Tacos.

I'd have eaten them, but you try finding one near here. Two things that don't seem to exist in Glasgow are Burritos and Tacos.

You need more particular kind of immigrants. :)

I'd have eaten them, but you try finding one near here. Two things that don't seem to exist in Glasgow are Burritos and Tacos.]

You can make your own burritos'.

]

You can make your own burritos'.

I don't know what they are though, which is a real spanner in the works as far as that is concerned. what I know is that it's food, of non British origin, that has the capability to congeal (comic book guy in the simpsons has the line "my breakfast burrito is starting to congeal." or similar.)

Well, let's all thank God it didn't give anyone massive diahrria.

I don't know what they are though, which is a real spanner in the works as far as that is concerned. what I know is that it's food, of non British origin, that has the capability to congeal (comic book guy in the simpsons has the line "my breakfast burrito is starting to congeal." or similar.)


It's a tortilla that is folded in a certain way as to conceal a bevy of taste. You can stuff anything in one of those things. My fav is refried bean with chicken, cheese, hot peppers, and a lot of hot sauce.

I'd have eaten them, but you try finding one near here. Two things that don't seem to exist in Glasgow are Burritos and Tacos.

Oh... sorry :) But still... see if you have anywhere that can whip you up one on request... Or come to America, especially the places close to Mexico... oh man... authentic Mexican goodness. I'm half Mexican and the food I get sometimes here STILL rocks my socks... and I thought there was nothing better than my mom's Mexican food...

It's a tortilla that is folded in a certain way as to conceal a bevy of taste. You can stuff anything in one of those things. My fav is refried bean with chicken, cheese, hot peppers, and a lot of hot sauce.


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wow.
This might be the best thing ever. I now have a new marketing plan. I shall open up a Burrito chain in glasgow, selling all kinds of Burritos. I'll go into partnership with that entrepeneur and we shall launch a syncronised assault on the fast food industry, offering burritos in both Britain and America, including giant burritos. The sheer shock and unexpectedness of our campaign will cause the lesser fast food peeps to close up shop or join with us as tiny, insignificant partners. And then, when the time is right *wanders off mumbling about holy robot armies and flying deathanators and skynet*



who's with me?

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wow.
This might be the best thing ever. I now have a new marketing plan. I shall open up a Burrito chain in glasgow, selling all kinds of Burritos. I'll go into partnership with that entrepeneur and we shall launch a syncronised assault on the fast food industry, offering burritos in both Britain and America, including giant burritos. The sheer shock and unexpectedness of our campaign will cause the lesser fast food peeps to close up shop or join with us as tiny, insignificant partners. And then, when the time is right *wanders off mumbling about holy robot armies and flying deathanators and skynet*



who's with me?

Not Me.

I going into Giagantic hero fast food that'll teach them. Forget the mere 30" burrito, try a 30' hero (Either Italian, American, or Meatball). That'll get them edgy.

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wow.
This might be the best thing ever. I now have a new marketing plan. I shall open up a Burrito chain in glasgow, selling all kinds of Burritos. I'll go into partnership with that entrepeneur and we shall launch a syncronised assault on the fast food industry, offering burritos in both Britain and America, including giant burritos. The sheer shock and unexpectedness of our campaign will cause the lesser fast food peeps to close up shop or join with us as tiny, insignificant partners. And then, when the time is right *wanders off mumbling about holy robot armies and flying deathanators and skynet*



who's with me?


Little Mexico aparently... (http://www.little-mexico.co.uk/)

Not to mention pancho villas (http://www.glasgowguide.co.uk/restaurant-glasgow-pancho-villas.html)






Always remember. Google is your friend!

Little Mexico aparently... (http://www.little-mexico.co.uk/)

Not to mention pancho villas (http://www.glasgowguide.co.uk/restaurant-glasgow-pancho-villas.html)






Always remember. Google is your friend!

2 things. One, I've never heard of them, they can't be that popular.
2, they're restaurants. That immediately limits the people who will eat to those with the time and the inclination to sit around and wait for half an hour for their food. Fast food is the way to go!

as a third point, which is un-necessary since I only offered 2, I'm joking. I don't have anywhere near the capital to let me start on one of these ventures. But one day... one day.

Well, if you want fast food burritos, lobby for Taco Bell to come to Glasgow. No, it's not authentic. Yes, it's another damned American fast food franchise. But it's fast and tasty (if a bit on the bland side).

Well, if you want fast food burritos, lobby for Taco Bell to come to Glasgow. No, it's not authentic. Yes, it's another damned American fast food franchise. But it's fast and tasty (if a bit on the bland side).

only problem there is that I don't own them. Owning them is a pre-requisite if I'm going to use my fast food empire to construct a holy robot army with which to dominate the galaxy once and for all.

meh, after papa johns turning up in glasgow, which is a damned sight better than any of the other local pizza places, my hatred towards large american fast food franchises lessened somewhat. It's probably because they only had one branch open in Britain at the time, but it was gooooo-ooood. When they start to have millions of places open and they can afford to skimp on the quality, then I'll hate them.

Ah, this was great. I totally needed the laugh!