NationStates Jolt Archive

It's the end of the school year (for me, anyway), and we all have stuff we don't want our parents to find. While most people threw out their KY-jelly, flavored condoms, cheapass popcorn, shitty-tasting poptarts, gay porn, and Ayn Rand books (For all, they say "it was free/just a phase/perfectly normal for people to experiment in college"), my floor just throws them in a pile. Individually, we barely have enough to supply ourselves for a week, but together, it's quite an impressive haul.

Y'all know I'm a sick sonuvabitch, with a flat-out-evil sense of humor. Anyone who's talked to me on AIM knows my opinion of my roommate. Or, in truth, my whole damned floor's opnion of my roommate, and his opinion of them. So I know that they'll support the worst I can do...

Either vote in the forthcoming poll for your favorite option, or give me a better idea, hopefully one that doesn't involve anything worth criminal or civil prosecution. Cumrag's a rich little cuntwheeze who'll do everything in his power to make sure he gets revenge, and Daddy'll pay for it all.

Subscribe him to a porn magazine and have it sent to his parents house.
Send him a fake letter from the college saying he flunked certain courses or got an incomplete

Send him a fake letter from the college saying he flunked certain courses or got an incomplete
Sorry, but perjury is worth criminal prosecution.

I think that's the offense when you use mail to pretend to be someone you're not, "perjury".

Merriam-Webster OnLine (http://www.h-w.com) - perjury

the voluntary violation of an oath or vow either by swearing to what is untrue or by omission to do what has been promised under oath : false swearing Hmmm.... Doesn't quite fit what I had in mind.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

Sorry, but perjury is worth criminal prosecution.

I think that's the offense when you use mail to pretend to be someone you're not, "perjury".

Hmmm.... Doesn't quite fit what I had in mind.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
I think it's just fraud.

I think it's just fraud.
it's mail fraud, which is a worse offense, i believe.
duct tape or plastic wrap him to the mattress while he's sleeping. actually, do the plastic wrap. take an entire industrial sized roll. cover his eyes. don't speak around him once he wakes up, and wear gloves. take his mattress, with hm connected, and put it somewhere. if your campus has a lake, boats are always good. if not, wait until he gets drunk to do it, and move him to a different floor, or building.
or, rearrange his entire side of the room in a different room, or maybe a lounge, exactly as it was, but on a different floor, or building.