NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm nearing the end of a two year child care course. During it, I have worked with children aged 6 months to 7 seven years. People I know have always been interested (especially about the babies) and wanting to hear stories of the 'sweet' things that the children have been up to.

Lately, I've been working in a school for children with severe/profound special needs. And people act really weird about it. It's like there's something wrong or even 'scary' about it. Rather than prompting me for stories, they mumble something about how they 'could never do that' and then change the subject.

They're still children and they still do 'sweet' things. So what's the big deal? Why do people appear so afraid of them? Can somebody explain it to me?

Deep-seated biological imperative towards the survival of the species, especially the strongest members. Also the reason people are often more friendly to attractive people.

Of course, that could be bs.

Since I'm not fond of children anyway, I don't think any of them are all that cute.

Perhaps its just fear and ignorance. I used to work as a nurse in age care homes and hostels and got much the same reaction about the dementia residents.Some people just can't cope with anything outside what they consider "normal" and also can't understand those of us who chose to work with and look after people with special needs.

It wasn't that long ago that parents who had disabled/special needs children were very strongly encouraged by their doctors to put the child away in a home, forget about him/her and try again for a healthy one. I guess that kind of prejadice is still very much alive and kicking.

people fear what is different, fear what they do not understand. Many people do not see these kids as special but as defective in some way, less than perfect. IMO that is why people react differently to kids who are obviously different.

Its evrything from their looks to how they act. They may not be no harm to other ppl, but that's not the point. Will you still say they are cute things when thay are in their thirties or forties? No offece, and i respect your opinion and all, but they just disgust me. their heart may be pure, but they look ugly. i try not to judge ppl with their looks, but I just can't help it with a ppl with special needs.....

Deep-seated biological imperative towards the survival of the species, especially the strongest members. Also the reason people are often more friendly to attractive people.

Of course, that could be bs.

That's the only reason I could come up with, so if it were bs, I'd think the same.

Kids are always great! (if well-behaved like me :p )

Its evrything from their looks to how they act. They may not be no harm to other ppl, but that's not the point. Will you still say they are cute things when thay are in their thirties or forties? No offece, and i respect your opinion and all, but they just disgust me. their heart may be pure, but they look ugly. i try not to judge ppl with their looks, but I just can't help it with a ppl with special needs.....


As a matter of fact, I have more respect for adults I see with special needs. They grew up in a time when they were locked away in instutions and forgotten. They had to learn to survive in a world that was not geared for them and yet they are some of the happiest people I have ever met. They have some of the biggest hearts and share everything without thought for reward. Just remember that true beauty lies within.

"Special needs" is a bit vague. People probably aren't sure what it really means and how "special" their "needs" are

Its evrything from their looks to how they act. They may not be no harm to other ppl, but that's not the point. Will you still say they are cute things when thay are in their thirties or forties? No offece, and i respect your opinion and all, but they just disgust me. their heart may be pure, but they look ugly. i try not to judge ppl with their looks, but I just can't help it with a ppl with special needs.....

You do realise not all people with special needs are born that way.

I also did some shifts in a brain injury centre and the ages of the people in there ranged from 12 to over 70. Most were there after car accidents. One 14 year old after having a bad reaction to his measles vaccine. A 17 year old after his father accidently backed over him with the car when he was a toddler. A man in his 40s was bashed by a gang of teens for his beer money. A woman in her 30s after a blood clot developed in her brain. All of them had different problems and were capable of differring amounts of independance.

The scary thing is that what happened to them, could happen to me or you and if it does you'd better hope there is someone out there who is willing to look after you :).

Will you still say they are cute things when thay are in their thirties or forties?
I never described them as 'cute things'. For one, I wasn't discussing their appearance, which I would consider rather facile, and for another I wouldn't describe them as 'things'. For all the conditions they have, they are still people.

I said that people showed an interest in the 'sweet things' (notice how I put it in quotes, indicating it's the statement of another person) that were done by children I was working with previously.

Though I personally work with the under fives, the school caters for student up to 19 years of age. From there they can attend college, where many do well, and then go and get (albeit often menial) jobs.

i try not to judge ppl with their looks, but I just can't help it with a ppl with special needs.....
I find it far better to judge people when they make statements like you did.

"Special needs" is a bit vague. People probably aren't sure what it really means and how "special" their "needs" are
True. From what I've seen, it would appear that people would assume their "needs" are very "special". The trouble is that, in the case of the children I am working with, that's pretty much the case. If I go into it in greater detail, it might put them off even more.

It's worth trying, though.

Deep-seated biological imperative towards the survival of the species, especially the strongest members. Also the reason people are often more friendly to attractive people.

Of course, that could be bs.
Could be. Or maybe these people are just pricks.

Deep-seated biological imperative towards the survival of the species, especially the strongest members. Also the reason people are often more friendly to attractive people.

Of course, that could be bs.
No, you're probably exactly right. People tend to shy away from those who have lost their jobs too, for much the same reasons. It's almost as though they're afraid they'll somehow "catch" it.

They need so much attention, simple as that. A school for those 'special' children is equiped to handle them (or at least it should be), a 'normal' household isn't. I myself am a leader is the scouts (well, not the scouts but a group that does the same things) and we accept special children. This is a heavy burden for the leaders of the groups that have them. We even place extra leaders there just for them to make it work. They require so much attention and every activity has to be in their abilities.

Now this is only for one afternoon a week. If you are the parent of one, you have to live with it 24/7. It will be a stress factor, you will have a lot less time for yourself and it is likely that it will stay that way untill you are seperated by death. You also have to make sure not to neglect the other children. This happened in my aunt's family. One of my cousins isn't 100% sane and she spends so much time doing things for him that she forgets about my other cousin. And my not so sane cousin doesn't even require as much attention as the special children i know...

I never described them as 'cute things'. For one, I wasn't discussing their appearance, which I would consider rather facile, and for another I wouldn't describe them as 'things'. For all the conditions they have, they are still people.

I said that people showed an interest in the 'sweet things' (notice how I put it in quotes, indicating it's the statement of another person) that were done by children I was working with previously.

Though I personally work with the under fives, the school caters for student up to 19 years of age. From there they can attend college, where many do well, and then go and get (albeit often menial) jobs.


I find it far better to judge people when they make statements like you did.

Ok. Sorry for my mistakes. I just want you to know that I don't HATE people with special needs. It's just that they make me..nervous, I guess.

The scary thing is that what happened to them, could happen to me or you and if it does you'd better hope there is someone out there who is willing to look after you :).[/QUOTE]

That's quite true, and I respect your opininon. But personally, if I was like that, I'd rather die.

That's quite true, and I respect your opininon. But personally, if I was like that, I'd rather die.

In a very small number of cases I saw, I think they should have been allowed to slip away because the quality of life they're living is so low to be almost non-existant but in most cases its not like that.

The centre I worked in wasn't a home as such but a training centre. The patients would come in there after leaving hospital and get physio and help to learn to cope with living independant productive lives again, on their own, with the minimum of help required as far as their condition will let them. The philosophy was to get them to do as much as they could themselves. The children or should I say teens were the most positive group of the lot and the happiest.

Thats why I have a hard time understanding those people who act like the thread starter said in the first post. If these people interacted with special needs kids and learned a bit about what makes them tick then they'd figure out pretty quick that the differences between "normal" kids and special needs kids are pretty superficial. Yes they need more supervision but so do other groups of kids. ADD kids for example.

While I respect your opinion too, well you're right to voice it anyway :), special needs people are pretty much the same as everyone else. They have their own hopes fears and dreams. They just need extra help with some aspects of their activities of daily living. They also can't help the way they look anymore than the rest of us can ;):).

They also can't help the way they look anymore than the rest of us can ;):).

I agree to that. but then again I can't help but to feel nervous. I understand it in my head, but I can't change how I feel about them. At least I don't go spreading hatred about them...

They don't call them "special" for nothing. It's cuz their totally adorable and sweet, but sometimes they hit themselves and start crying. That's rather odd.

their heart may be pure, but they look ugly. i try not to judge ppl with their looks, but I just can't help it with a ppl with special needs.....
You appear to be assuming that their appearance will always be affected. One of the children I work with - let's call him S - is autistic. S is very active, greatly enjoys solitary play, will play with others when encouraged and can be sociable towards adults. He also looks 'cute'.

Can I take it that you would have lesser or no trouble in dealing with S?

sometimes they hit themselves and start crying. That's rather odd.
Not as odd as when they scream, cry loudly and bang the back of their foot so hard on their wheelchair that they bleed just because you've shown them a small amount of baked beans on a plate.

I can barely tolerate -normal- people.

I'm nearing the end of a two year child care course. During it, I have worked with children aged 6 months to 7 seven years. People I know have always been interested (especially about the babies) and wanting to hear stories of the 'sweet' things that the children have been up to.

Lately, I've been working in a school for children with severe/profound special needs. And people act really weird about it. It's like there's something wrong or even 'scary' about it. Rather than prompting me for stories, they mumble something about how they 'could never do that' and then change the subject.

They're still children and they still do 'sweet' things. So what's the big deal? Why do people appear so afraid of them? Can somebody explain it to me?

I think it just all comes down to peopels experience with kids with special needs. Personally I think that schools should incorporate a progam which ensures interaction with kids with special needs,

That's quite true, and I respect your opininon. But personally, if I was like that, I'd rather die.

Even if your 'special needs' were almost none, just a little?

I think it just all comes down to peopels experience with kids with special needs. Personally I think that schools should incorporate a progam which ensures interaction with kids with special needs,
Intergration is a big thing in education at the moment. We debated this as part of my course and this was one of the arguments in its favour. However, the reality of the situation is that children with special needs can be let down by the situation as they will often be taught seperately from the other children and have very few opportunities to interact with their peers. They spend the majority of their time with a single adult, who may not even be qualified (a boy at a school near to me, who has Down's Syndrome, is supervised by a woman who used to be a cleaner and has no qualifications in or real experience of professional child care).

Not that sure if anybody's interested, but I actually found it what is so bad about children with special needs - and it's not the fact that quite a lot of them like to bite you.

I had a look through the school's bereavement policy. It's very unusual for a school to have a seperate bereavement policy, let alone one as thick as this was.

And that's what's so scary: you're far more likely to form an attachment to a child and then for them to die (to put it in perspective, the class next to mine is made up of what remains of what used to be two classes). One of the children I work with has fits. Apparently an especially strong fit could kill him.

I think that if that happened whilst I was working with him, that would just fuck me up completely. And it'd be pretty bad for him too.

So there you go: special needs children (when those special needs are severe anyway) are scary.

Also, they bite. Did I mention that?

Will you still say they are cute things when thay are in their thirties or forties?
Just had a thought:

No, I won't. But couldn't you say that about any children?

People said I was a cute kid. Nobody ever said 'Yeah, he's cute now, but just wait until he's 25 - he'll be overweight, dull and have a crap haircut.'

Whenever I see the special needs kids, I get rather put off, as they don't seem to differentiate between me and one kid who tormented them. I look absolutely nothing like this guy, by the way - he's short, stocky, and has a black buzz, while I'm a tall stickboy with a blonde mullet. I was nailed in the balls for no reason at all by one of these demonic children (not all of them are that way, but this one was), and if I had hit him back, I would have been at the very least ticketed. Quite possibly arrested and charged with assault. He got no reprimand whatsoever, and was free to go on his merry way. I swear I could see the teacher COMPLIMENT HIM FOR IT. I don't care who you are, if you're stupid, have special needs, whatever. If you nail a guy in the balls, you deserve to get punched. If you can't comprehend that that causes pain, you deserve to be SHOWN.

Plus, why the favoritism? You don't want to encourage "special" children in doing what's wrong. They are already damaged (no offence meant, but I couldn't think of another word) so why make it seem like the world is a sugar coated place where they can get away with anything?

Has anyone here considered that the reason people don't want to talk about the "special needs" kids this person works with is because they think that by "special needs" the person means violent, drug addicted, etc. rather than retarded, because that's another sense of the term.

In regards to the above, the children at the school I work are reprimanded (sometimes strongly) for unwanted behaviour. And it works.

Has anyone here considered that the reason people don't want to talk about the "special needs" kids this person works with is because they think that by "special needs" the person means violent, drug addicted, etc. rather than retarded, because that's another sense of the term.
Violent, drug addicted four year olds?

Trust me, I make sure they know exactly what I mean.

Violent, drug addicted four year olds?

Trust me, I make sure they know exactly what I mean.

If they know its four year olds you're talking about, they probably are using your interpretation and one of the other responses is correct. If not, then its a legitamate possibility.

Has anyone here considered that the reason people don't want to talk about the "special needs" kids this person works with is because they think that by "special needs" the person means violent, drug addicted, etc. rather than retarded, because that's another sense of the term.

A friend of mine worked with kids like that. She didn't call them "special needs" children, but instead referred to them as "troubled".

Thats why I have a hard time understanding those people who act like the thread starter said in the first post. If these people interacted with special needs kids and learned a bit about what makes them tick then they'd figure out pretty quick that the differences between "normal" kids and special needs kids are pretty superficial. Yes they need more supervision but so do other groups of kids. ADD kids for example.


I'm an ADD kid. Dyspraxic, both fall under aspergers, which is considered as 'special needs'.

Peoples discrimination of them is just cruel. Are we really such faceless cowards we need to destroy somebody elses self esteem just to raise our own?

As for the person who got nailed in the balls, yes, that kid deserved to be punched... Sorry, but unless you have a good reason (better then poorly mistaken identity, for example) you shouldn't hit someone in the nadgers.

Deep-seated biological imperative towards the survival of the species, especially the strongest members. Also the reason people are often more friendly to attractive people.

Of course, that could be bs.
I defenatly think this has some to do with it

The phrase "special needs."

In fact just the word "special" when used euphemistically like that. Special needs. Pleeeeease.

I'm nearing the end of a two year child care course. During it, I have worked with children aged 6 months to 7 seven years. People I know have always been interested (especially about the babies) and wanting to hear stories of the 'sweet' things that the children have been up to.

Lately, I've been working in a school for children with severe/profound special needs. And people act really weird about it. It's like there's something wrong or even 'scary' about it. Rather than prompting me for stories, they mumble something about how they 'could never do that' and then change the subject.

They're still children and they still do 'sweet' things. So what's the big deal? Why do people appear so afraid of them? Can somebody explain it to me?

I don't mind them, can you tell me a sweet story :)

And yeah i mean i guess i'm used to it, my Nanna fosters and adopts kids with special needs so i've always had them around but some just aren't sure how to act.