NationStates Jolt Archive

My grandfather died the week before last. He's the only grandparent I've lost, it was also very unexpected... the last relative I knew well at all who died was my great grandmother and she had empehsema for quite some time, carried around an oxygen tank and was in the hospital for months afterwards... my grandfather went into the hospital for routine surgery and never came out of surgery.
He didn't want a funeral, so we didn't have one for him. It's still hard to believe that he's gone.
I guess I never really thought he would die. He survived a world war for fuck's sake, and what takes him out? Well supervised medical care.

I feel like I should do something to commemorate him... like draw his portrait or something and give it to my grandma... but I don't know.

My grandfather died the week before last. He's the only grandparent I've lost, it was also very unexpected... the last relative I knew well at all who died was my great grandmother and she had empehsema for quite some time, carried around an oxygen tank and was in the hospital for months afterwards... my grandfather went into the hospital for routine surgery and never came out of surgery.
He didn't want a funeral, so we didn't have one for him. It's still hard to believe that he's gone.
I guess I never really thought he would die. He survived a world war for fuck's sake, and what takes him out? Well supervised medical care.

I feel like I should do something to commemorate him... like draw his portrait or something and give it to my grandma... but I don't know.
Do it. Put your feelings for him into it and give it to her. She'll be deeply moved.

draw him as he was when they got married or how he looked when you were a little girl.
if she doesnt have a portrait of him she will love it and it will become an heirloom to be fought over by future generations.

death sucks eh?

I don't know what creed you or your grandfather follow, or if you follow any creed (indeed, I vaguely remember you saying that you're atheist, so I don't want to accidentally derail this topic into a religion debate), but I could say a prayer for your grandfather.

I feel like I should do something to commemorate him... like draw his portrait or something and give it to my grandma... but I don't know.
That sounds like a good idea to me.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

I'm an agnostic.

He was christian, I never recall seeing him go to church or anything, (that could be because he and my grandmother would stay in when we were at their house, beign good hosts and all...) but he mentioned something about it once or twice. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

I guess I'll be digging through family photo albums when I go home. My grandmother has lots of pics of him, a lot are of them together and stuff, I don't think they really got portraits done though.

My grandfather died the week before last. He's the only grandparent I've lost, it was also very unexpected... the last relative I knew well at all who died was my great grandmother and she had empehsema for quite some time, carried around an oxygen tank and was in the hospital for months afterwards... my grandfather went into the hospital for routine surgery and never came out of surgery.
He didn't want a funeral, so we didn't have one for him. It's still hard to believe that he's gone.
I guess I never really thought he would die. He survived a world war for fuck's sake, and what takes him out? Well supervised medical care.

I feel like I should do something to commemorate him... like draw his portrait or something and give it to my grandma... but I don't know.

I was really close to my grandmother, and she died at the ripe old age of 86 (when I was 38). Although I'm a born-again Christian, she was never religious. But I used to call her bright-eyes (No Planet of the Apes jokes, please). She was very smart, even though she had had a hard life and no formal education. She loved me a lot, and I always enjoyed visiting her.

During her funeral, my mom and her sister were crying their eyes out, and my grandmother just laying there in the coffin. The preacher was saying "how much Mildred loved Jesus" which I thought was a load of hooey. I wanted so bad to stand up and say, "She didn't love Jesus, but it's OK - the Lord isn't such a fucking dick as to keep a woman like this out of heaven."

But I just sat there. Don't just sit there. I've regretted not saying something.

I lost my grandmother last year.
I was only 15.
My heart goes out to you buddy.

My grandfather died the week before last. He's the only grandparent I've lost, it was also very unexpected... the last relative I knew well at all who died was my great grandmother and she had empehsema for quite some time, carried around an oxygen tank and was in the hospital for months afterwards... my grandfather went into the hospital for routine surgery and never came out of surgery.
He didn't want a funeral, so we didn't have one for him. It's still hard to believe that he's gone.
I guess I never really thought he would die. He survived a world war for fuck's sake, and what takes him out? Well supervised medical care.

I feel like I should do something to commemorate him... like draw his portrait or something and give it to my grandma... but I don't know.
Funerals aren't for those who have died. They are for the living.

Everything you are feeling is normal. Anger that this should kill him when he's survived so much. Grief, confusion, all of it. If you want to commemorate him, by all means do so. No doubt your grandmother will appreciate it, and it will provide you with a means to work out your feelings for him. I am sorry for your loss.

May i Suggest a commemorative plauqe or something for the garden or home?

the best thing you could do is to go through those photos with your grandmother and listen to all her boring stories one more time. its hard when the funeral is over and the house is empty and there is no one to talk to about it.

You have my sympathy...my mother died last year, and I still get angry with the hospital....

Draw your Grandfathers portrait.....doing something possitive always helps!

And the rest of your family will appreciate it too.

I also think the portrait is a good idea.

the best thing you could do is to go through those photos with your grandmother and listen to all her boring stories one more time. its hard when the funeral is over and the house is empty and there is no one to talk to about it.
We looked at vactaion pictures they took together.

Since my grandmother retired, they just started taking vacations everywhere. Well, not everywhere, I don't think they left the states much except to visit us in Canada, but they travelled around the country (it is a big country, afterall) and we looked at some of the pictures they took on a cruise, and she had some pictures with us (my immediate family) when we moved into our new house. She doesn't live near us, my mom stayed at her house for a while so she wouldn't be alone, she has lots of people around though, my uncle Ford lives down the street and my great uncle (her brother) lives the other way and she has lots of friends who were friends with him.

He didn't have a funeral though. Didn't want one, we respected his wishes.

May i Suggest a commemorative plauqe or something for the garden or home?
I don't know much about getting plaques... that sounds like a good plan too...

so sorry for your loss Dak. I think the portrait is a wonderful idea. It could be passed down through your family forever. My thoughts are with you. :)

Funerals aren't for those who have died. They are for the living.

Everything you are feeling is normal. Anger that this should kill him when he's survived so much. Grief, confusion, all of it. If you want to commemorate him, by all means do so. No doubt your grandmother will appreciate it, and it will provide you with a means to work out your feelings for him. I am sorry for your loss.
I know funerals are for the living, but I think it's important to honour people's wishes and my grandma does too. She did encourage donations to the local animal shelter in his obituary. He loved animals.

And thank you.

so sorry for your loss Dak. I think the portrait is a wonderful idea. It could be passed down through your family forever. My thoughts are with you. :)
Thank you.

My grandfather died the week before last. He's the only grandparent I've lost, it was also very unexpected... the last relative I knew well at all who died was my great grandmother and she had empehsema for quite some time, carried around an oxygen tank and was in the hospital for months afterwards... my grandfather went into the hospital for routine surgery and never came out of surgery.
He didn't want a funeral, so we didn't have one for him. It's still hard to believe that he's gone.
I guess I never really thought he would die. He survived a world war for fuck's sake, and what takes him out? Well supervised medical care.

I feel like I should do something to commemorate him... like draw his portrait or something and give it to my grandma... but I don't know.

I know how it is...I've only got one grandparent left. I go visit her when I have time, she enjoys spoiling me (I'm 25 :) ) with cake and coffee, and I enjoy being spoilt .
If you want to make a gesture, that's good. But it doesn't have to be anything grand like that. I'm sure if you'd call her more often and go visit her and talk with her over a cup of coffee sometimes, she'd appreciate it. Older people usually appreciate company and conversation.