NationStates Jolt Archive

I tried to think back to the last thing the US has not been blamed for, and I had to dig back this far.

I bet the Americans killed Jesus, too.

I tried to think back to the last thing the US has not been blamed for, and I had to dig back this far.

I bet the Americans killed Jesus, too.

He was a commie! :mad:

The Americans killed the dinosaurs. Remember that.

Also: America caused the fall of the Roman Empire.

Yes, and George W. Bush eats freshly roasted babies for breakfast.

Yes, and George W. Bush eats freshly roasted babies for breakfast.

Honey roasted.

America has caused the following things:

-Holocaust
-Jewish Diaspora
-Armenian Genocide
-WW2
-WW1
-Hundred Years War
-Bubonic Plague
-the Ice Ages
-Bloody Sunday
-Russian Revolution
-All of the Soviet atrocities were actually American. The corrupt capitalist pigs have been brainwashing you, you spoonfed ignorant mongrels.
-Chernobyl
-All the wars in Star Wars

I don't need proof of this because it involves America.

Yes, and George W. Bush eats freshly roasted babies for breakfast.

Don't forget the mother sauce!

Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do.
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do.
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do!

He was a commie! :mad:

Yes...yes he was. He was one of the kick ass party animal college hippy commies! My kinda guy! Damn yanks...You'll all pay! http://img183.echo.cx/img183/4398/chair1ra.gif

Intro]
America
Hahaha
We love you

How many people are proud to be citizens of this beautiful country of ours?
The stripes and the stars for the rights of men who have died for the protect?
The women and men who have broke their necks for the freedom of speech the United States
Government has sworn to uphold

Yo, I want everyone to listen to the words of this song

Or so we're told...

[Verse #1]
I never woulda dreamed in a million years id see
so many mutha fuckin people who feel like me
Who share the same views?
And the same exact beliefs
It’s like a fuckin army marchin in back of me
So many lives I touched
So much anger aimed at no particular direction
Just sprays and sprays
Straight through your radio waves
It plays and plays
Till it stays stuck in your head
For days and days
who woulda thought standin in this mirror
Bleachin my hair wit some Peroxide
Reachin for a T shirt to wear
That I would catapult to the fore-front of rap like this
How can I predict my words
And have an impact like this
I musta struck a chord wit somebody up in the office
Cuz congress keeps tellin me
I ain't causin nuttin but problems
And now they sayin im in trouble wit the government
I'm lovin it
I shovelled shit all my life
And now i'm dumpin it on

[Chorus]
WHITE AMERICA
I could be one of your kids
WHITE AMERICA
Little Erik looks just like this
WHITE AMERICA
Erica loves my shit
I go to TRL
Look how many hugs I get

[Verse #2]
Look at these eyes baby blue baby just like yourself
If they were brown
Shady knew shady sits on the shelf
But Shadys cute
Shady knew Shady's dimples would help
Make ladies swoon baby
(ooo baby)
Look at myself!
Lets do the math
If I was black I woulda sold half
I ain’t have to graduate
From Lincoln High School to know that
But I can rap so fuck school
I’m too cool to go back
Gimme the mic
Show me where the fuckin studio's at
When I was underground
No one gave a fuck I was white
No labels wanted to sign me
Almost gave up, I was like "Fuck it"
Until I met Dre
The only one who looked past
Gave me a chance
And I lit a fire up under his ass
Helped him get back to the top
Every fan black that I got
Was probably his
In exchange for every white fan that he's got
Like damn we just swapped
Sittin back look at this shit wow
I’m like "My skin, is it startin to work for my benefit now?"

[Chorus]

[Verse #3]
See the problem is I speak to suburban kids
Who otherwise
Woulda never knew these words exist
These moms probably woulda never gave 2 squirts of piss
Till I created so much mutha fuckin turbulence
Straight out the tube right into ya livin rooms I came
And kids Flipped
When they knew I was produced by Dre
That’s all it took
And they were instantly hooked right in
And they connected wit me too cuz I looked like them
That’s why they put my lyrics up under this microscope
Searchin wit a fine toothed comb
It’s like this rope waitin to choke
Tightenin around my throat
Watchin me while I write this like "I don’t like this, NO!"
All I hear is
Lyrics lyrics constant controversy
Sponsors workin round the clock
To try to stop my concerts early
Surely hip hop is never a problem
In Harlem only In Boston
After it bothered ya fathers
of daughters startin to blossom
Now i’m catchin the flack from these activists
When they raggin
Actin like im the 1st rapper to smack a bitch and say faggot
Shit
Just look at me like im ya closest pal
A poster child
the mutha fuckin spokesman now!

[Chorus]

[Outro]
So to the parents of America
I am the damager aimed at little Erica
To attack her character
The ring leader of the circus of worthless pawns
Sent to lead the march right up to the steps of Congress
And piss on the lawns of the Whitehouse
To burn the casket and replace it with a parental advisory sticker
To spit liquor in the faces of this democracy of hypocrisy
Fuck you Ms Cheney
Fuck you Tipper Gore
Fuck you with the free-este of space this divided state of embarrassment will allow me to have
Fuck You

Hahaha! im just playin America, you know I love you
We did cause this.

America has caused the following things:

-Holocaust
-Jewish Diaspora
-Armenian Genocide
-WW2
-WW1
-Hundred Years War
-Bubonic Plague
-the Ice Ages
-Bloody Sunday
-Russian Revolution
-All of the Soviet atrocities were actually American. The corrupt capitalist pigs have been brainwashing you, you spoonfed ignorant mongrels.
-Chernobyl
-All the wars in Star Wars

I don't need proof of this because it involves America.

Don't forget the Seven Plagues of Egypt!

Don't forget the Seven Plagues of Egypt!

There were actually 300. One of them involved every second-born son getting testicular torsion.

Bush also caused the Big Bang...

Wasn't it W that convinced Eve to eat the Fruit?

Remember the Punic Wars! Those dirty carthagiean pigs were American puppets. They did it for Roman Oil.

ROMAN OIL!!

Remember the Punic Wars! Those dirty carthagiean pigs were American puppets. They did it for Roman Oil.

ROMAN OIL!!

NO BLOOD FOR OIL, NO BLOOD FOR OIL.

Soviet gulags were actually owned by pseudo-fascist American death coroporations.

NO BLOOD FOR OIL, NO BLOOD FOR OIL.

Soviet gulags were actually owned by pseudo-fascist American death coroporations.


HELL NO, WE WONT THROW!
HELL NO, WE WONT THROW!
HELL NO, WE WONT THROW!
HELL NO, WE WONT THROW!


(Burns Javelins in the streets of Carthage)

America is responsible for the forgery of the One Ring of Power too. We caused the War of the Ring. AMERICA! FUCK YOU, YOU CORPORATE PIECES OF SHIT, EXPLOITING THE GOOD WORKERS OF SUCH INDUSTRIOUS COUNTRIES WITH CLEAN, RESPECTABLE GOVERNMENTS! FUCK YOU, AMERICA! stop ruining the world.

plz.

Damn them and their time travel machines! DAMN THEM!!!!

*--* them and their time travel machines! *--* THEM!!!!

This post has been edited by the FCC.

Damn them for the invention of censorship. They just had to mess with the eternally free press. Bastard amerikkkans!

AMERICA INVENTED CIRCUMSION! now, over a period of many years, men's penises have been genetically shrunkered. never mind that the theory of acquired characteristics is bullshit!

AMERICA INVENTED CIRCUMSION! now, over a period of many years, men's penises have been genetically shrunkered. never mind that the theory of acquired characteristics is bullshit!

The americans invented more than circumcision. The invented the SMALL Penis. Before those demn americans came along, every man's peins was at least 2 feet long. Than, the americans felt bad, so they developed a poison gas that Shrunk the penis to a more american standard.

BASTARDS!!

And I just remembered that Cain killed Abel after a partrcularly unsuccessful Dr Phil intervention. And where is he from?

Damn them, I tell you!!!

America also invented the Crocodile. now we have a croc, we need a hunter. blame stevie austin on Amerikkka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (do it now, plz)

It looks like the yanks are finally getting the hang of sarcasm

It looks like the yanks are finally getting the hang of sarcasm
Kind of like we got a hang of...YO MAMA!
*falls over laughing at the sheer subtlty of his own humour*
Sarcasm comes in many forms...

You know what other thing that the sutpid americans invented...YO MAMA!!

*falls down, crushing Dontgonearthere, in fits of convulsive laughter*

Kind of like we got a hang of...YO MAMA!
*falls over laughing at the sheer subtlty of his own humour*
Sarcasm comes in many forms...

*Laughs and squirts milk out of nose*

Mmmmm...nose milk...yum.

STFU you filthy, unwashed foreign bastards! I'm an American, and if not for me PERSONALLY, you would all be speaking German. Except for you Germans and Austrians. You may carry on.

STFU you filthy, unwashed foreign bastards! I'm an American, and if not for me PERSONALLY, you would all be speaking German. Except for you Germans and Austrians. You may carry on.

And remember, if it wasn't for us, the world also would have been taken over by commies! :eek:
/sarcasm

Shoot, look at all the neat stuff I learned! :)

You forgot that we caused the Great Flood in the Bible, too. Noah was a dissident! :)

America ate my sandwich! :mad:

America ate my sandwich! :mad:
Well, we were hungry. It really hit the spot.

Well, we were hungry. It really hit the spot.
Well, at least it was enjoyed. :D

And remember, if it wasn't for us, the world also would have been taken over by commies! :eek:
/sarcasm
The US has "saved" Afghanistan and Iraq...

Im sure the Afghani and Iraqui children love the US flag. [/sarcasm]

Well, at least it was enjoyed. :D

I take it America hasn't discovered where that meat came from, then.

*Continues looking for his dog*

I blame Americans for inventing the letter a.
And the number 4.

Damn Americans!

I take it America hasn't discovered where that meat came from, then.

*Continues looking for his dog*
*Continues nibbling on Ancient and Holy Terra's dog in sandwich form*

Yes, and George W. Bush eats freshly roasted babies for breakfast.
I did see a Clinton minion blaming Pope Benedict for GWBs re-election. That's a pretty good non-sequitar, isn't it?

I did see a Clinton minion blaming Pope Benedict for GWBs re-election.
There is nothing wrong with Pope Benedict...

There is nothing wrong with Pope Benedict...
Pope Benedict invented the USA!!!

The problem is America HAS caused the majority of the world's problems. Except Bowel Cancer, Germany caused that.

The Americans caused the Hanoverian Succession!

The Americans caused the Battle of Balaclava!

The Americans caused the Dark Ages!

The Americans caused the Sengoku period!

The Americans are the reason why Madagascar doesn't use a decimal currency!!

- Americans invented abortion.
- Americans invented guns.
- Americans caused the Wars of the Roses.
- It was America's fault that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
- George W. Bush, through the evangelical Christians, caused the Spanish Inquisition.
- America caused 9/11, too.
- Americans caused Krakatoa.
- Americans caused the tsunami.
- Americans invented diseases such as tuberculosis, cancer, heart disease, and smallpox, then transmitted them to everyone else.

It's a wonder the world hasn't exploded yet with all the bad things they're doing!

*boom*

As I was saying................

The Americans caused the Hanoverian Succession!

The Americans caused the Battle of Balaclava!

The Americans caused the Dark Ages!

The Americans caused the Sengoku period!

The Americans are the reason why Madagascar doesn't use a decimal currency!!
The Americans invented theft, sabotage, treason, espionage, larceny, murder, embezzlement, rape, arson, fraud, disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, disturbing the peace, obstructing traffic, and obscenity. And what's worse, they practice all of those regularly! Statistics back me up!

AMERICANS COMMIT CRIMES EVERY DAY! GET RID OF THEM!

America also invented fat people!

America also invented fat people!

Looking at everyone around me, unfortunately this is true :(

America also invented fat people!
We didn't invent them. We only perfected them.

We didn't invent them. We only perfected them.
LOL

The Americans invented theft, sabotage, treason, espionage, larceny, murder, embezzlement, rape, arson, fraud, disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, disturbing the peace, obstructing traffic, and obscenity. And what's worse, they practice all of those regularly! Statistics back me up!

AMERICANS COMMIT CRIMES EVERY DAY! GET RID OF THEM!

Americans invented Barney, self help books, and Barbara Streisand movies!!

EDIT: Oh, wait. We actually DID those. Sorry on behalf of my country.

Americans invented Barney, self help books, and Barbara Streisand movies!!

EDIT: Oh, wait. We actually DID those. Sorry on behalf of my country.
About time, i've been writing letters for years complaining about those.

STFU you filthy, unwashed foreign bastards! I'm an American, and if not for me PERSONALLY, you would all be speaking German. Except for you Germans and Austrians. You may carry on.
I would be speaking russia I guess, but hey chill out. Not wise to fight against humor :headbang:

B

U

M

P

!

!

1

one

!

There is nothing wrong with Pope Benedict... Yeah Pope Benedict is the man. anyways
America is the one that caused Alexander the Great to kill all those poor persian soldiers >_>

I will have to apologise for Barney, compared to Barney, the rest of the stuff is minor
For Barney, we should be tried in court for cruelity to the human race

I will have to apologise for Barney, compared to Barney, the rest of the stuff is minor
For Barney, we should be tried in court for cruelity to the human race


Yes, Barney is a crime against humanity.

HANG HIM!

America caused my hot tap to run cold and my cold tap to run hot... Damn americans!

YES! HANG THE PURPLE, CHILDEREN EATING B*ASTARD!!!

lol thread BTW

I would be speaking russia I guess, but hey chill out. Not wise to fight against humor :headbang:
sarcasm. Sorry if it didn't come through clearly enough.

I tried to think back to the last thing the US has not been blamed for, and I had to dig back this far.

I bet the Americans killed Jesus, too.

Crusades: Blame the English, the Dutch, the Spanish, the Vikings and the French, as well as the indigeonous population. The US wasn't even a colony then, so it can't have been responsible.

As for Jesus, go back to the Romans. They did it. ;) Ironic that Rome is the center of the Catholic religion, huh? :)

Crusades: Blame the English, the Dutch, the Spanish, the Vikings and the French, as well as the indigeonous population. The US wasn't even a colony then, so it can't have been responsible.

As for Jesus, go back to the Romans. They did it. ;) Ironic that Rome is the center of the Catholic religion, huh? :)

Now that you've killed off the whole humor of the thread...

Crusades: Blame the English, the Dutch, the Spanish, the Vikings and the French, as well as the indigeonous population. The US wasn't even a colony then, so it can't have been responsible.

As for Jesus, go back to the Romans. They did it. ;) Ironic that Rome is the center of the Catholic religion, huh? :)
I blame the US for not having the guts to be a real country back then.

The USA invented slavery- and continues to practice it to this very day!!!!!111

The USA invented slavery- and continues to practice it to this very day!!!!!111
Here we call it 'education'.

Now that you've killed off the whole humor of the thread...


At least blame the US for its most horrific crime....


PRODUCING THAT DAMNED KATGANISTAN! ;)

The USA invented slavery- and continues to practice it to this very day!!!!!111

Go pick my cotton, boy!

Arr! And we Americans'll do it again too!

If it weren't for those nosy Non-Americans and their French poodle!

America is behind the Alien Abductions! It's really just Dick Cheney in a mask!

America is behind the Alien Abductions! It's really just Dick Cheney in a mask!

No wonder the aliens used a pen for my anal probeing...

Barney is bad enough, but never forget we also invented Riverdance and Teletubbies!!!

From Crystal Ireland
We did?! NOOOOOO!!!! *goes and hangs herself, or at least tries*

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

Wenn getanzt wird will ich führen
Auch wenn ihr euch alleine dreht
Lasst euch ein wenig kontrollieren
Ich zeige euch wie's richtig geht

Wir bilden einen lieben Reigen
Die Freiheit spielt auf allen Geigen
Musik kommt aus dem Weißen Haus
Und vor Paris steht Mickey Mouse

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

Ich kenne Schritte die sehr nützen
Und werde euch vor Fehltritt schützen
Und wer nicht tanzen will am Schluss
Weiss noch nicht dass er tanzen muss

Wir bilden einen lieben Reigen
Ich werde euch die Richtung zeigen
Nach Afrika kommt Santa Claus
Und vor Paris steht Mickey Mouse

We're all living in Amerika
Coca Cola
Wonderbra
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

This is not a love song
This is not a love song
I don't sing my mother tongue
No, this is not a love song

We're all living in Amerika
Coca Cola
Sometimes war
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

But don't forget the Greatest injustices to the Civilized World... the worst thing America has done.

MTV...

through this evil mechanism came forth...

Milli Vanilli
Vanilla Ice
The Spice Girls
Nsync (and all the other boy Bands)
and Brittny Spears.

So insidious is this station that they had to spawn another channell just to show Music Videos.

America invented Michael Jackson. For that, the whole population should be shot.

But don't forget the Greatest injustices to the Civilized World... the worst thing America has done.

MTV...

through this evil mechanism came forth...

The Spice Girls


Terrible sorry, old chap, but those aren't ours -- especially obvious since one of Geri Halliwell's most famous pics was of her in a Union Jack dress!

Terrible sorry, old chap, but those aren't ours -- especially obvious since one of Geri Halliwell's most famous pics was of her in a Union Jack dress!thougth that was the point of this thread. :confused:

I tried to think back to the last thing the US has not been blamed for, and I had to dig back this far.

I bet the Americans killed Jesus, too.

If you tune in to al-Jazeera, the US is responsible for everything bad.

If you tune in to al-Jazeera, the US is responsible for everything bad.
We also invented the horror that is Fox News.

We invented propaganda!

Before amerikkka came along, the media was compleatly free, no lies!

We also invented Hairy backs and women with saggy boobs.

I tried to think back to the last thing the US has not been blamed for, and I had to dig back this far.

I bet the Americans killed Jesus, too.


They did. They also plotted the assassination of Thomas Becket, and gave Ferdinand Magellan a wedgie at the battle of Mactan, thus causing him to be defeated by the natives.

America caused the earth to shift on its axis.

And you thought Pompeii was flattened by a volcano.

Everyone outside of ignorant unlistening propagandized Amerika knows that America nuked them... to steal their resources!!!

-awesome thread BTW! :D The first page had me Laughing Out Loud.

We also caused the downfall of the Roman Empire by spiking the wine with Lead to poison everyone

Americans started the Civil War (not just their own, but everyone elses!).