NationStates Jolt Archive

what would be the first thing you would do?

nothing, what would be the point since anything would be possible.

What do you mean, "if"?

I would smite the nonbelievers and reward the faithful for their actions through a swift and terrible apocalypse. The sit back and enjoy the show

Hmm. Interesting idea. First, I'd destroy Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, George W. Bush and Rush Limbaugh. And then I would curse Osama bin Laden.

Then I'd probably abolish all religion and make people think it up on their own.

I'd make the world rewrite the bible so that the earth wasnt just created in a few days etc.

I'd wipe out ALL extremist religious groups, I wouldn't want people killing each other over me.

Smite stuff. I'll fix a few things, like the climate and viral diseases, but first I want to smite a lot of things. :D

Lets just say you will regret the day I become a deity.

what would be the first thing you would do?
Get rid of the supposed "worship me" to get a reward thing
Cause if that is how it works I think I could do without the worship and make more people happy (cause seemingly unlike the christian god I CARE for people)

don't htink my ans is "forum apropriate"

cead, which is i, is god, and i would go to school and reaslize what a hell i have created! ::ninja:: (should be one...)

I would be very, very careful about who I was polite to when they sneezed.

Some Jerk: *Achooo*
Branin: Bless you.
Some Jerk:Thank you *becomes blessed*
Branin: Damn

If I were God...hmm...well, I'd be mostly benevolent, except towards the gays...and the French. They've had it too good for too long! TOO LONG!!!

Make all the child molestors spontaneously combust.

If I were God...hmm...well, I'd be mostly benevolent, except towards the gays...and the French. They've had it too good for too long! TOO LONG!!!
The gays have had it good for too long?

Create the Greek pantheon of gods and make it real, with me as Zeus. Also create all of the monsters and make mythology decisively factual.

Whaddya mean if?

The gays have had it good for too long?
Well...I was referring to the French, but yes, the gays have had it too good for too long, since they've been allowed to live...

Well...I was referring to the French, but yes, the gays have had it too good for too long, since they've been allowed to live...
You serious? (because if you are being faciecious that did not translate into your words online ... I know it is hard sometimes)

Well...I was referring to the French, but yes, the gays have had it too good for too long, since they've been allowed to live...



Hi little troll!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.eqlive.station.sony.com/images/concept_art/troll.jpg

If you were god...

Well, a loooooot of people would be royally screwed...I'm not a very forgiving person at heart, so I got a loooooong list....http://img257.echo.cx/img257/851/bat4au.gif

And I would be living the high life, and probaly let everyone else live the high life to. I don't really see the point of being the Almighty with the power to end suffering and poverty and the like and just sit by and watch it happen...Oh, and I'd insert some of those I don't like into a Supersmash Brothers-like video game and challenge Lucifer to a match....http://img257.echo.cx/img257/5088/nunchaku9lg.gif

Create the Greek pantheon of gods and make it real, with me as Zeus. Also create all of the monsters and make mythology decisively factual.
Thats the best answer I've yet read.

You serious? (because if you are being faciecious that did not translate into your words online ... I know it is hard sometimes)
I was being completely serious. Homosexuality is not natural. I mean, we're supposed to be superior to animals right? And you don't see male cats or monkeys running around "getting it on" with each other do you? No. Gayness might be tolerable if they kept to themselves like they did before the 1900's, but now they have TV shows, and they act like it's not a bad thing. See, our children see it on TV and in public, and their parents don't say it's a bad thing, so they think it's ok. And that produces more gays. Also, they shouldn't be able to adopt children, because those children will probably grow up gay. You see the problem?

Smite the Bourgeoisie, start communism, create a big glowing temple for myself. In that order.

I am god,

And everything is just fine.

OK, creating humans was a mistake, but I won't do it again, promise!

If I were God, I'd have destroyed the Earth a loooooooong time ago to prevent myself from being embarassed as to where it was going.

Can somebody tell me what it means when you're called a "troll" on one of these forums?

I was being completely serious. Homosexuality is not natural. I mean, we're supposed to be superior to animals right? And you don't see male cats or monkeys running around "getting it on" with each other do you? No. Gayness might be tolerable if they kept to themselves like they did before the 1900's, but now they have TV shows, and they act like it's not a bad thing. See, our children see it on TV and in public, and their parents don't say it's a bad thing, so they think it's ok. And that produces more gays. Also, they shouldn't be able to adopt children, because those children will probably grow up gay. You see the problem?
You're right, god damn queers, wanting equal rights and freedom! Damn their existence!

I was being completely serious. Homosexuality is not natural. I mean, we're supposed to be superior to animals right? And you don't see male cats or monkeys running around "getting it on" do you? No. Gayness might be tolerable if they kept to themselves like they did before the 1900's, but now they have TV shows, and they act like it's not a bad thing. See, our children see it on TV and in public, and their parents don't say it's a bad thing, so they think it's ok. And that produces more gays. Also, they shouldn't be able to adopt children, because those children will probably grow up gay. You see the problem?



Actually, lots of animals practice homosexuality or bisexuality. I have heard many people say their dog is gay, and there are these lesser Chimpanzees called Bonobos that practice homosexuality all the time. The guys rub their nuts together and butt-fuck. Most practice bisexuality, and some even avoid the opposite sex altogether.

Do some research before making claims about homosexuality being unnatural. Most primates have bisexual tendencies. I do too. So do you. If an extremely handsome (albeit feminine looking) gay guy started casually flirting with you, I don't think you would feel too sure about your sexuality. Just give it a few seconds. I sometimes feel attracted to gay men when they start coming on to me, I just don't practice bisexuality, I'm fully satisfied by my girlfriend.

You're right, god damn queers, wanting equal rights and freedom! Damn their existence!
Sarcasm?

I was being completely serious. Homosexuality is not natural. I mean, we're supposed to be superior to animals right? And you don't see male cats or monkeys running around "getting it on" with each other do you? No. Gayness might be tolerable if they kept to themselves like they did before the 1900's, but now they have TV shows, and they act like it's not a bad thing. See, our children see it on TV and in public, and their parents don't say it's a bad thing, so they think it's ok. And that produces more gays. Also, they shouldn't be able to adopt children, because those children will probably grow up gay. You see the problem?Um seriously cats and monkes do it all the time lol you just compleatly invaladated your whole arguement lol

Sarcasm?
Well, aren't you a bright fellow. :)

Um seriously cats and monkes do it all the time lol you just compleatly invaladated your whole arguement lol
Ah well...I'm always doing that to myself...but my point is, it's not natural.

Can somebody tell me what it means when you're called a "troll" on one of these forums?
It means a person who makes inflamitory comments just for the reaction not nessisarily because it is their belief

Well, aren't you a bright fellow. :)
Thank you.

Ah well...I'm always doing that to myself...but my point is, it's not natural.
It exists in nature therefore BY DEFFINITION is natural sorry wrong again

It means a person who makes inflamitory comments just for the reaction not nessisarily because it is their belief
No no, I really think homosexuality is unnatural, this I swear to...well, I would say "to God", but you might not be a Christian...

Can somebody tell me what it means when you're called a "troll" on one of these forums?


It's something you can get banned for. Saying something that is sure to cause an uproar. Like "jews must die", or "god hates fags", or "gays have been living for too long" or something like that.

No no, I really think homosexuality is unnatural, this I swear to...well, I would say "to God", but you might not be a Christian...
Im not ... and it is compleatly natural ... it exists in nature

It exists in nature therefore BY DEFFINITION is natural sorry wrong again
What exactly do you define as "nature"? Because a factory in the middle of a forest could be considered "in" nature...

I would give some scientist logical proof that I did not exist and crash religion into the ground.

Ah well...I'm always doing that to myself...but my point is, it's not natural.

http://img257.echo.cx/img257/7783/hysterical2ml.gif Eh hem...With all the 'homo-monkey sex stuff said before, that sounded really bad...

If I were God I would abolish all religion and tell people not to worship me. Then take away my ability to know everything.
Walk up to random people and punch them in the face then disappear. See the ruckus commence!

I apologize if my previous statements affended anyone, I'll stick by my beliefs, but I won't talk about it anymore.

What exactly do you define as "nature"? Because a factory in the middle of a forest could be considered "in" nature...

na·ture Audio pronunciation of "nature" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nchr)
n.

1. The material world and its phenomena.
2. The forces and processes that produce and control all the phenomena of the material world: the laws of nature.
3. The world of living things and the outdoors: the beauties of nature.
4. A primitive state of existence, untouched and uninfluenced by civilization or artificiality: couldn't tolerate city life anymore and went back to nature.
5. Theology. Humankind's natural state as distinguished from the state of grace.
6. A kind or sort: confidences of a personal nature.
7. The essential characteristics and qualities of a person or thing: “She was only strong and sweet and in her nature when she was really deep in trouble” (Gertrude Stein).
8. The fundamental character or disposition of a person; temperament: “Strange natures made a brotherhood of ill” (Percy Bysshe Shelley).
9. The natural or real aspect of a person, place, or thing. See Synonyms at disposition.
10. The processes and functions of the body.



1-4 at least

what would be the first thing you would do?
Love

http://img257.echo.cx/img257/7783/hysterical2ml.gif Eh hem...With all the 'homo-monkey sex stuff said before, that sounded really bad...
How so?

I apologize if my previous statements affended anyone, I'll stick by my beliefs, but I won't talk about it anymore.

Okay then...Um....*awkward silence*.....Nice weather we're having eh? *tornado rips up house*

No no, I really think homosexuality is unnatural, this I swear to...well, I would say "to God", but you might not be a Christian...


I am a Christian, a bi-curious Christian. And I used to be just like you. Until I started hanging out with gay guys, and they started to check me out, and I started to get turned on. That is when you know something may be wrong with either you, or the notion that homosexuality is unnatural. At first I thought it was myself, but then I started to notice that it happened to other guys too. I sure didn't think I was gay. I've been attracted to women my whole life. I had my first make-out session when I was six, and tried to have sex when I was nine. I'm no weirder than the next guy, sexually that is, but at least I'm willing to admit that I probably am bisexual.

what would be the first thing you would do?

I actually posted a well thought out list once. Let's see if I could recall it from memory:

First, as any new manager in an established enterprise, I would choose my biggest pet peeve and deal with it first, personally and permanently. Namely, the Israel/Palestinian conflict. How will I deal with it? Simple. I'm erasing Jerusalem. Pow! Gone. Everyone currently inJerusalem will appear on the outskirts unharmed and with a yummy cinnamon bun in hand for their inconvenience. Jerusalem will be wiped from existence to be replaced with something else at a later time. In the meantime, I will put a big grassy hill there as a placeholder. Personally, I hate that city. Any holy meaning that city had has been washed away in blood ten times over.

While the political and religious ramifications of such a direct and spectacular intervention from an Almighty soaks in, I'll take a nice relaxing vacation in the Bahamas. Or maybe Jamaica. Wherever makes the best Margaritas. :)

Once things have settled down, I'm going to begin some of my more fun and creative changes:

I'll make water just a tiny bit thicker.

I will transform every weapon on Earth more complicated than a bow and arrow into a yummy cinnamon bun.

I will transform the Pope into a form more able to teach that the true goal of every civilized nation is to find ways of living together despite our differences, and not to endorse conformity of thought. In other words, Pope Benedict XVI will be a black gay woman. :)

I will make Australia slowly(and relatively safely) spin in place. About one rotation per year or so.

I will add more amusing weather effects. Smaller tornadoes that don't do much damage, but are fun to play tag with. Mud rains.

One day per year, all clothing on Earth will vanish. It will occur regularly as clockwork so those of us in cooler climates can stay indoors and turn up the heat. All clothing will return after 24 hours, clean, pressed and holes mended. :)

Everyone on Earth will become literate in their native language(another pet peeve of mine)

A series of religious sanctuaries/amusement parks will open where people can go to have fun, eat ice cream, drink beer and be closer to their god. One will be where Jerusalem used to be.

Peanut Butter Cups will be considered holy symbols and can drive away vampires. Eating them makes people feel happy and content no matter what is wrong with their lives. If only for a minute or two.

Most televangelists like Benni Henn, Pat Robertson, etc. will be rendered mute. Any attempts to continue sermonizing without their voices will lead to harsher punishments(perpetual defecation).

The moon will be made of green cheese. I was very disappointed to find out it wasn't.

I may make other changes as the mood strikes me.

Okay then...Um....*awkward silence*.....Nice weather we're having eh? *tornado rips up house*
Funny you should say that, some tornados came through here a few hours ago...no serious damage that I know of, and I don't think anybody got hurt, but...yeah. It's just wierd that you'd mention tornados when some just happened and I'm gonna stop typing now.

I would make everything taste like pork

I would have fun. I would have a son, named Horatio. He would be the son of a virgin, somewhere in europe or america. He would teach autocratic, fascist ideals, but with a higher purpose of good. He would preform minor miracles, and gain mass support(helping him out as much as needed, to gain the support). I would have people kill him(lackies of mine, but only after many wished for him to be dead). He would revive three days later, lay death to hundreds of thousands of non-believers, then leave. I would then help the creation of a religious group who believed in him, who would start a crusade to convert the world to his teachings. I would help someone create a shield against nuclear weapons, changing the laws of physics and chemistry, etc, as needed. Then the world would be engulfed in a gigantic war, where none could obliterate any other with WMD. I would bless those who were my followers. I would hurry peak oil, so that america would have a much harder time projecting force, letting the war carry on mostly by infantry, throughout asia, africa, and europe, though it would be like a very large civil war in the america's. I would let them fight it out after that, and whoever won, would be the rulers forever. If my followers won, I would make earth a paradise, blessing them with cold fusion, food for all, and benevolent dictators. If the enemy won, I would mostly stay hands off, though making various disasters for them, such as large scale terrorism, earthquakes and tsunami's, and let peak oil run without any real alternatives(other than ones already in place).

Thats just me.

How so?

http://img257.echo.cx/img257/5889/eyebrow2rq.gif Um dude, you serious? Here's an idea...take some dirt, some water, plant a garden, and grow a sense of humor...http://img257.echo.cx/img257/9568/shades1rn.gif

Ok, I'm not sure if my imagination is gonna be able to stretch that far...I'll just leave it alone, lest my brain explode from the hilarity/horribleness.

Im not ... and it is compleatly natural ... it exists in nature

If homosexuality were natural, then how come the components only fit together when it's male and female? There is a reason why a lot of people consider it to be unnatural other than "the Bible says it's wrong" or "it's immoral."

<snippity, snip, snip>
I like those ideas, you're hired.

If homosexuality were natural, then how come the components only fit together when it's male and female? There is a reason why a lot of people consider it to be unnatural other than "the Bible says it's wrong" or "it's immoral."
Exactly my argument. If it only said so in the Bible, that wouldn't be a good enough reason for me. I mean, I'm a Christian, but I'm not super-religious. Of course, this probably disagrees with my long post earlier, but...that's just how my brain works.

first off i would sort out my body

then i would see to the rest of the worlds problems.

third world debt? no more
poverty? not any longer
expolitatio? not a chance
hunger? cheerio
peace on earth? oh yea....

I would have fun. I would have a son, named Horatio. He would be the son of a virgin, somewhere in europe or america. He would teach autocratic, fascist ideals, but with a higher purpose of good. He would preform minor miracles, and gain mass support(helping him out as much as needed, to gain the support). I would have people kill him(lackies of mine, but only after many wished for him to be dead). He would revive three days later, lay death to hundreds of thousands of non-believers, then leave. I would then help the creation of a religious group who believed in him, who would start a crusade to convert the world to his teachings. I would help someone create a shield against nuclear weapons, changing the laws of physics and chemistry, etc, as needed. Then the world would be engulfed in a gigantic war, where none could obliterate any other with WMD. I would bless those who were my followers. I would hurry peak oil, so that america would have a much harder time projecting force, letting the war carry on mostly by infantry, throughout asia, africa, and europe, though it would be like a very large civil war in the america's. I would let them fight it out after that, and whoever won, would be the rulers forever. If my followers won, I would make earth a paradise, blessing them with cold fusion, food for all, and benevolent dictators. If the enemy won, I would mostly stay hands off, though making various disasters for them, such as large scale terrorism, earthquakes and tsunami's, and let peak oil run without any real alternatives(other than ones already in place).

Thats just me.



That's barbaric!!! Ok, maybe it's not. It seems to be a good model.

If homosexuality were natural, then how come the components only fit together when it's male and female? There is a reason why a lot of people consider it to be unnatural other than "the Bible says it's wrong" or "it's immoral."

Who's to say that whats natural is what can reproduce? Homosexuals can love each other and make each other just as much as heterosexuals. Love is natural. Heterosexuality isnt the opposite of homosexuality, homosexuality serves as a different type of one function of the purpose of heterosexuality.

If I were God...
Hmm...this is tempting...
I would like to teach the world to sing and furnish it with love...

Actually...I would make everyone be totally, brutally, honest...and sit back to laugh!

Who's to say that whats natural is what can reproduce? Homosexuals can love each other and make each other just as much as heterosexuals. Love is natural. Heterosexuality isnt the opposite of homosexuality, homosexuality serves as a different type of one function of the purpose of heterosexuality.
Meh.

If homosexuality were natural, then how come the components only fit together when it's male and female? There is a reason why a lot of people consider it to be unnatural other than "the Bible says it's wrong" or "it's immoral."

Homosexuality may not be the best idea for species with regards to evolution, but it DOES occur in nature (as was already proven) and is therefore natural.
Natural=occuring in nature.
Get it?

I'd make heterosexual white middle and upper class males the minority of the world.

I like those ideas, you're hired.

:D I think I'm uniquely qualified for the position. :D

I'd make heterosexual white middle and upper class males the minority of the world.


I'd just smite all the ones who live in suburbs.

I'd make heterosexual white middle and upper class males the minority of the world.

So...you would make the richest people a minority? Why not make everyone middle class, with lots of money for all?

bump

I'd commit suicide, just to watch the irony it would inspire.

Why not just destroy the human race?
Anyway..

If I was god i'd kill every single homosexual and bring them to heaven.
I'd then give the Heterosexuals one gift. FTL travel. Thats all.

I'd make the world rewrite the bible so that the earth wasnt just created in a few days etc.


It wasn't translated in rough Koine Greek (Common Greek) each day stands for a number of years commonly day=year but it might be different considering the time span between Alexander the Great's creation of Koine Greek thus writing the bible to that language for the masses and the time of the scrolls of moses so for all we know day=thousand years.

if i was god i would try to fix the world and make it a better place to live. the first god didnt do shite.

First off I'd smite the thread-hijacking troll.
Then I would make my own little paradise, where a person could basically change their sensory perceptions to be anything they wanted them to be. This would be continually interesting as a person would be constantly expanding the boundaries of their imagination, as the second you thought of it, you would be able to experience it. You would also be able to share your "tooled" sensory perceptions with other people you are sharing paradise with.
After that, I would get to work on the world. I would reveal myself to people (Screw faith) and explain in no uncertain terms what I saw as good, and what would get them a stint in paradise. Worshipping me is all well and good, but doing more good, overall, than bad is what is truly important. I would then identify the groups which are doing the most damage to society, (hate groups, christian reconstructionists, terrorists, evil dictators, ect.) Then I would take osama bin ladin, scold George Bush for taking so long to find him, and hand him over to the families of the people killed in the attack on the world trade center, with a mandate that they could do whatever they wanted to him.
After that I would replace every world leader with good people, who would work for world peace and progress. Some would be replaced legitimately and democratically, others would be replaced with rocks falling from space. Around half of all world leaders would be women.
With that done, I would get on to the aspects of judgement. Judgement will be very simple. People who have done a great deal of good have their souls go to paradise for a while (not eternity, more like twenty years or so.) People who fall between good and evil will reincarnate and live again. People who have done a great deal of evil will go for a stint in hell. Hell will be a constant span of middle school, with classes that teach subjects impossible to understand, class mates that hate you, and no friends. Also, you will be small and weak, and everyone else will be big and strong. You will regularly have your ass handed to you by little girls, and the teachers will just laugh at you.
That taken care of, I would set about making the world more interesting. Elves, dwarves, orcs, gnomes, centaurs, unicorns, pegasi, dragons, all of them. They will appear in midievally progressed tribes in the forests/mountains/caves and will slowly integrate into society. There will be some opposition to this, but any real organized hatred will be dealt with by meteorite.
As humans proceed in technology, I would make a few things certain. First off, I would make sure that the speed of light can be circumvented (because otherwise it would really suck). As humans reached into the stars, if life didn't already exist on other planets, I would make some.
There would be no end times, but instead a continual stream of progress for eternity. Or at least until I got bored.

I'd start it all over again.. maybe at the second try I'll be able to create creatures which do not destroy each other and their environnement..

what would be the first thing you would do?does this include Creation or "from this point on"

So...you would make the richest people a minority? Why not make everyone middle class, with lots of money for all?
You mean communism that works?

You mean communism that works?

Doesn't have to be. It just means that everyone has mostly equal amounts of money. It would be communism, except it would be you(god) who makes everyone equal, not a government. Communism also is atheist, at least marxism was.

does this include Creation or "from this point on"
"From this point on"

Hmm....i would give humans .... waits for suspance...."The Replicator" :D. So they can just multiply the pepsi cans and fast-food stuff without ever needing to leave the computer :p

I wouldn't change a thing.

I would give Humans free will and do minimal to "help" them out. that way, they won't depend on me for every little things. but I will help the Faithful in small and obscure ways.

I would leave clues and obscure evidence about me and mine, and those who believe would be rewarded. those who figure it out will be rewarded... those who want 'proof' in their fashion will get it in the end, but not be rewarded.

I would make the place perfect and watch what Humans will do to mess it up.

I would love them all but reward those who love me back.

I would forgive all, if they but ask for it.

I would laugh at all the people who try to equate Faith with Facts.

Well, if you wanted to start over from scratch, you could always just go back in time to the dawn of creation and do it differently.

I wouldn't change a thing.

I would give Humans free will and do minimal to "help" them out. that way, they won't depend on me for every little things. but I will help the Faithful in small and obscure ways.

I would leave clues and obscure evidence about me and mine, and those who believe would be rewarded. those who figure it out will be rewarded... those who want 'proof' in their fashion will get it in the end, but not be rewarded.

I would make the place perfect and watch what Humans will do to mess it up.

I would love them all but reward those who love me back.

I would forgive all, if they but ask for it.

I would laugh at all the people who try to equate Faith with Facts.

Sounds kind of boring. You should at least set Australia in motion. *nod*

Sounds kind of boring. You should at least set Australia in motion. *nod*but if I move Australia, you know people would still complain.

oh, I would make Laughter a cure all... and not just any type of laughter, a really good belly laugh.

Lets just say you will regret the day I become a deity.
Oh, all shall love you, and despair, eh?

Sounds kind of boring. You should at least set Australia in motion. *nod*
I agree, s/he could flood the earth like in Waterworld.

I think I'd do the Second Coming of Jesus. Would probably make all the atheists and non-Christians crap their pants. Would do the whole Book of Revelation thing, compelte with Antichrist and lake of fire...

what would be the first thing you would do?
well, of course, i'd make a humoungous giant lobster and dissapear myself forever.

I think I'd do the Second Coming of Jesus. Would probably make all the atheists and non-Christians crap their pants. Would do the whole Book of Revelation thing, compelte with Antichrist and lake of fire...
Cool, you could hire Spielberg to direct it.

Cool, you could hire Spielberg to direct it.nah... Peter Jackson... I'll give him rights to turn the Bible into a movie... each book, a separate movie.

bump

I'd have to purge the world of certain people first, groups and the like which have placed themselves firmly in the way of human progress. Then there would be a lot of changes made, but I think the foremost one would be the idea that a man should live for any person other than himself.
My subjects will each have to support themselves, using their talents to survive and develop the species further. This will mean that my "priests" will have to find a way of providing for themselves without the collection plate, but it will be good for them.

what would be the first thing you would do?


Fix the mistakes from the previous guy who had the job.

Oh yes, and then create an army of Giant Flying Hamsters to rain down coconuts on your pitiful cities.

I'd set to work smiting. I'd start with all the idiots using my name as justification for hatred.
Then I'd fix a few things. I'd delete a few of the design flaws of humans (there are too many to name) and then I'd give dolphins opposable thumbs so that I'd have someone to babysit mankined.

what would be the first thing you would do?

I'd make it necessary to redefine "Righteous anger", "Divine intervention", "Piousness" and I'd go medieval on the world if they wouldn't stop all the crap within a day and nobody would any longer refer to Sodom und Gomorrha...

"I am the Alpha and the Omega and when I look around it's more Omega for you... YOUR GOD IS DISPLEASED! CLEAN UP! LOVE ONE ANOTHER!"

You know, nothing new, pretty much straightforward love one another or else...