NationStates Jolt Archive

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.

Bartender says, "Hey, did you know that you're walking into my bar with a steering wheel down your pants?"

Pirate says, "Arr, I do. It be drivin' me nuts."

:eek:

Good ol' Jack Bignuts

Have you heard about the new pirate movie?

It's rated ARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!

A little boy dresses up as a pirate for Halloween. He knocks on an old lady's door to get his candy, and she asks "If you're a pirate where are your buccaneers?"

He responds "Under my buckin' hat, lady"

*slinks away*

Q: What's a pirate's favorite aspect of computational linguistics?
A: PARRRsing sentences.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.

Bartender says, "Hey, did you know that you're walking into my bar with a steering wheel down your pants?"

Pirate says, "Arr, I do. It be drivin' me nuts."


http://img155.echo.cx/img155/4758/drivin6co.gif

lol Peech!

A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
Pirate: "Hey bartender, ca....."
Parrot: "OI! DICKFACE! GIVE THIS MAN A BEER!"

The bartender glares at the pirate and gives the pirate his beer. When he finishes his beer.
Pirate: "Barkeep, I'd lik....."
Parrot: "EH FUCKWAD! ANOTHER BEER! NOW!"

The bartender gives the pirate his beer, but says to the parrot: "If you can't keep your filthy beak shut, I'll nail you to the wall"

So the pirate finishes his 2nd beer.
Pirate: "Baarkeeper. Could you give me anoth...."
The parrot can't keep his trap shut: "OI FATSO! THIS MAN IS FUCKING DEHYDRA..."

The bartender grabs the parrot by the neck and nail him spread eagled against the wall over the door.

The parrot looks around and sees a crucifix with jesus on it: "you couldn't keep your trap shut either eh?"

I cant recall any good pirate jokes. A friend does have me on videotape doing a pirate impression (appropriately after indulging in a few Captain Morgan & Cokes)- crying out "Kiss 'er where she pees ! ". Which earned me the nickname with that group of "Captain".
A little off topic-same tape, different party-Me impersonating Arnold Schwartzenegger singing the Divinyls "I touch Myself"

how much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?



a buccaneer

Our university, NC State, just elected a new student body president who ran under the pseudonym "The Pirate Captain." I kid you not.

He won by a landslide too.

Our university, NC State, just elected a new student body president who ran under the pseudonym "The Pirate Captain." I kid you not.

He won by a landslide too.
Pirates rule the world

Pirates rule the world
Huh? I thought it was the Jews that ran the world...

WAIT!
Perhaps the Jews and the pirates are in league!
:eek:

Huh? I thought it was the Jews that ran the world...

WAIT!
Perhaps the Jews and the pirates are in league!
:eek:


ARRRRR, OY VEY!

What would Francis have to say about that?
I can't remember any good pirate jokes right now...

Huh? I thought it was the Jews that ran the world...

WAIT!
Perhaps the Jews and the pirates are in league!
:eek:


sounds like a Mel Brooks movie

sounds like a Mel Brooks movie
Damn... I read Mel Gibson for a moment

Huh? I thought it was the Jews that ran the world...

WAIT!
Perhaps the Jews and the pirates are in league!
:eek:
*mutters* Dirty Jews...

I should have known that Israel was a Jewish Pirate island. Oh the treasure that must be buried there.

Huh? I thought it was the Jews that ran the world...

WAIT!
Perhaps the Jews and the pirates are in league!
:eek:
Long John Silverberg is their leader.

I should have known that Israel was a Jewish Pirate island. Oh the treasure that must be buried there.


I think a lot of their treasure may still be buried in Switzerland.

I had signed off for the day, but then this just came to me:

There once was a pirate from Maine
who suffered a serious pain.
He slipped on the dock
and crushed his own cock
and it never worked right again.

:D

I had signed off for the day, but then this just came to me:

There once was a pirate from Maine
who suffered a serious pain.
He slipped on the dock
and crushed his own cock
and it never worked right again.

:D


Hes kin to that guy from Nantucket I bet....

Hes kin to that guy from Nantucket I bet....


See what 40k and 4 years of my life in college will produce? Whadda ya think? Money well spent? :rolleyes:

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/arrghyafree.274.home_thumb.jpg

_______________

and in other news
_______________

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/secondamendment.356.home_thumb.jpg

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/bigmistake.artwork.2.home_thumb.jpg

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/prose.artwork.olive.home_thumb.jpg

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/jesus.artwork.green.home_thumb.jpg

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/jesusshaves.353.home_thumb.jpg

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/gilf.artwork.2.home_thumb.jpg

http://www.bustedtees.com/images/life.artwork.2.home_thumb.jpg

This is more of a parrot joke...but I'll stick a pirate in it.

A man was looking for a parrot and went to the dock.
"yarr! Whatcha' doin' down 'ere you lubber?"
"I want to buy a parrot."
"Har har har, young Blackwater jus' took a trip to Davvy Joneses, an' he left a nice one. You be in luck sonny."

So the man bought the parrot and took him home.
To his surprise the parrot uttered a loud string of expletives.
"Arr ye bloody bastard! Lemme out of this fecking cage! Goddam swabber, I'll learn you I will!"
"Will you be quiet!" He yelled. But the parrot kept going.
Finally they got home. He had this huge cage for the parrot and put him in. But The parrot still kept swearing at him.
"If you don't shut up I'll...put you in the fridge!"
The parrot didn't let up.
In frustration the man grabbed the parrot and shut him in the fridge from which loud squawks and oaths could be heard. Then suddenly there was a loud squawk and silence.
The man opened the fridge door to find a very meek parrot.
The parrot said "I'm sorry...can I ask one question? What did the chicken do?"

This (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1437121) is my favorite pirate thing ever. Listen to it, it's totally worth it.