NationStates Jolt Archive

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

cmon you know god be jerking off to naked chicks everyday.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

Oh, come on. What do you think rain is?

Oh, come on. What do you think rain is?
lmfao!

God Bless Monty Python

So then you're clearly against masturbation. Someone should ask their priest on Sunday if the catholic church is still against masturbation. :p

:headbang: come one, ABSTINANCE! why do you have to have sex THAT BAD! Sex is sacred, HOLY. We are so blessed to have it because it is a GIFT. Imagine, for a moment, that sex wasnt full of pleasure; for some reason i dont think we'd have the same problem we have with unprotected, underage, illegal, and adulterous sex. Imagine that every fertilization can and will be a person; a living breathing, conscious human being. Just because you kill someone that doesnt know what youre doing YET doesnt make your crime any less heinous. So if you treat sex and the process of the creation of life like what it really is, you dont have this problem. Abortion should be saved for special cases; for instance, when a woman is raped and the baby isnt the result of her consentual sex, or say when the baby represents a serious risk to the mother for instance. but NOT as a way to live a risky irresponsible lifestyle!!!
:headbang:

-snip-

Not another one...

:headbang: come one, ABSTINANCE! why do you have to have sex THAT BAD! Sex is sacred, HOLY. We are so blessed to have it because it is a GIFT. Imagine, for a moment, that sex wasnt full of pleasure; for some reason i dont think we'd have the same problem we have with unprotected, underage, illegal, and adulterous sex. Imagine that every fertilization can and will be a person; a living breathing, conscious human being. Just because you kill someone that doesnt know what youre doing YET doesnt make your crime any less heinous. So if you treat sex and the process of the creation of life like what it really is, you dont have this problem. Abortion should be saved for special cases; for instance, when a woman is raped and the baby isnt the result of her consentual sex, or say when the baby represents a serious risk to the mother for instance. but NOT as a way to live a risky irresponsible lifestyle!!!
:headbang:
Yikes!!!

I smell flame war...

What nobody recognizes a Monty Python song when they see it? Whats wrong with you people?

It was a joke.....

Oh come on! In vitro fertilization is the way to go people! Every sperm gets used, as opposed to the "natural" method where millions die with every spurt. Think of all the human life that is wasted every time you have sex!

[/sarcasm]

Well, Kervoskia, you were provocative (Joke or not), and you provoked a response. Happy now? How many of you have read "Humanae Vitae", and know what the Church teaches and why? Or would that strain your brains too much?

PS: No, I am not a Catholic.

Well, Kervoskia, you were provocative (Joke or not), and you provoked a response. Happy now? How many of you have read "Humanae Vitae", and know what the Church teaches and why? Or would that strain your brains too much?

PS: No, I am not a Catholic.
I am provocative and I its not the teaching. I posted it because latelt there have been several threads concerning sex and abortion which have turned into flame threads, to a degree. I thought I would make a less serious one.

I am provocative and I its not the teaching. I posted it because latelt there have been several threads concerning sex and abortion which have turned into flame threads, to a degree. I thought I would make a less serious one.

and how wrong you were.

and how wrong you were.
Well, be that as it may, at least it spurred discussion.