NationStates Jolt Archive

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

And there's his excuse to ask her out! Perfect!

What could go wrong?

ask her out on msn then if she says no you can blame it on a friend pretending to be you

ask her out on msn then if she says no you can blame it on a friend pretending to be you

...

does that really work? :p

...

does that really work? :p
well I've never asked a guy out but I'm sure it does

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?and how do you think she feels about you?

If you think the feeling's mutual... start dating... or at least correspond with her.

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?

Ask her out, definately. If you dont say anything about how you feel it will haunt you for a LONG time.

well I've never asked a guy out...

why is that :( ? I think the girls should ask the guys out more often... There are a lot of girls that i like but im just too much of a bone head to approach them. If a girl came up to me...that would make it so much easier...

why is that :( ? I think the girls should ask the guys out more often... There are a lot of girls that i like but im just too much of a bone head to approach them. If a girl came up to me...that would make it so much easier...
I'm gonna get told off for saying this (again :rolleyes: ) but I think it's up to the guy to ask the girl out, I tend to flirt with guys to show that I'm interested, shame they're usually either not interested in me or too stupid to notice :rolleyes:

You only live once.

ASK HER.

I'm gonna get told off for saying this (again :rolleyes: ) but I think it's up to the guy to ask the girl out, I tend to flirt with guys to show that I'm interested, shame they're usually either not interested in me or too stupid to notice :rolleyes:

I must be in the "too stupid" category because I dont notice flirty girls, Or maybe there are no girls flirting with me :(

I must be in the "too stupid" category because I dont notice flirty girls, Or maybe there are no girls flirting with me :(

I'm in the "too stupid" category, definitely, because I have no idea when a girl is interested :p

Come to think of it, only one girl that I actually asked out went out with me. The rest had to ask me, and even then they had to be blunt. :p

hint to her that you are thinking of this prom thing as a DATE. as in "a romantic evening that we will attend as a couple". see if she thinks its a great idea or yucky.

she just moved away. how old are you? if there is no reasonable chance for you to get together for YEARS it would be better to let her go rather than try to get her into a "dead end" relationship when she should be dating guys that she can actually be with in real life. i know its hard but if you love her you should do whats best for her.

if you are adults or pretty much ready to be on your own, then see what you can do to build a real relationship with her if she is willing to give it a try.

oh yeah and no matter what, at the prom, make sure you tell her she looks great and KISS HER FOR GOD'S SAKE.

ive wanted to ask this girl out for ages but i didnt an for some reason she now hates me :headbang: so i guess theres no time like the present! go for it son!!

ive wanted to ask this girl out for ages but i didnt an for some reason she now hates me :headbang: so i guess theres no time like the present! go for it son!!
maybe she got annoyed with waiting for you to ask her out

You need to just ask her. If you need to, take a shot of Jagermeister beforehand. It took me eight shots of Jager to finally ask my boyfriend out, but it was worth it.

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?
She obviously likes you ... a lot! Bust a move, bro! :D

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?
You've loved her for five years and never gone beyond friendship? Most likely, my friend it will never go beyond friendship with this girl. Enjoy what you have with her. Seek out other girls for romantic and sexual relationships.

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?

Are you sure it's love? How many good friends who are girls do you have? Maybe you are just infatuated and confuse these feelings of deep friendship for love.

Are you sure it's love? How many good friends who are girls do you have? Maybe you are just infatuated and confuse these feelings of deep friendship for love.
The best "love" relationships begin with friendship. :)

The best "love" relationships begin with friendship. :)

Also the most difficult to get started, though.

I think it's up to the guy to ask the girl out
No it is not particularly up to either sex to ask the other out. If you want to be so traditional you might as well be barefoot and pregnant. In the kitchen. :rolleyes:

Care to explain why the guy should ask the girl out, without using "just because" arguments and without saying "I'm nervous"?

No it is not particularly up to either sex to ask the other out. If you want to be so traditional you might as well be barefoot and pregnant. In the kitchen. :rolleyes:

Care to explain why the guy should ask the girl out, without using "just because" arguments and without saying "I'm nervous"?
oh god, not again :rolleyes: and I would be perfectly happy being barefoot and pregnant (ok, maybe not that one just yet) and in the kitchen, my nation's motto is 'A woman's place is in the home' afterall.

Because the guy is supposed to be the dominant one, he should take charge and stop being a pussy!

oh god, not again :rolleyes: and I would be perfectly happy being barefoot and pregnant (ok, maybe not that one just yet) and in the kitchen, my nation's motto is 'A woman's place is in the home' afterall.

Because the guy is supposed to be the dominant one, he should take charge and stop being a pussy!

There are times when a dominant girl can be veeeeeeeery hot...

Because the guy is supposed to be the dominant one, he should take charge and stop being a pussy!
Come on now, I think it's time where we moved beyond such simple imposed gender roles that say

male = dominant
female = submissive

There are times when a dominant girl can be veeeeeeeery hot...
Damn straight!

There are times when a dominant girl can be veeeeeeeery hot...
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/2.gif

Come on now, I think it's time where we moved beyond such simple imposed gender roles that say

male = dominant
female = submissive


Damn straight!
well i disagree

I think you should go for it, tell her how you feel and take what comes in return as a man. You only live once, and if you really love this girl, well...

Go for it, burn all bridges, look her in the eyes and tell her how you feel. Having tried and failed is far better than not having tried at all, no?

Good Luck

Ask her.
I could still chastise myself for the one time i did muster my courage too late.

well i disagree
I'll accept that, but remember to have my dinner ready when you see me. :rolleyes:

I'll accept that, but remember to have my dinner ready when you see me. :rolleyes:
anything you want dear

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/2.gif

Heee :p Not even to that extreme, though. Lose the whip, keep the leather, kthx

If I had a girl offer to buy me a drink, for example, i'd be extremely impressed. A girl taking the upper hand is good!

(Not least because i'm dubious of buying girls drinks, usually they take the drink and disappear. It's probably just the scummy bars I hang out at though :p)

I'm fine with being gentlemanly. But I see women as equals, so i'd prefer it if they are "gentlewomanly" right back to me, rather than submissive :)

well i disagree
I'll accept that, but remember to have my dinner ready when you see me. :D

I'll accept that, but remember to have my dinner ready when you see me. :D

You can say that again. :p

anything you want dear
;)

The reason I am going after you on this is that you don't see the hypocrisy of whining about stupid guys who don't get your advances, while still adamantly refusing to ask them out. If you're not prepared to ask a guy out, don't complain when opportunities slip through your fingers.

If she's your freind, then tell her that you really think she's special and you would like to date, but it's ok if she doesn;t feel the same. then look at her either pleading or as if your about to devour her.

I did ask, and she said no but we still got on OK. she was 7 years older than me and a friend of my sisters but way sexy.

;)

The reason I am going after you on this is that you don't see the hypocrisy of whining about stupid guys who don't get your advances, while still adamantly refusing to ask them out. If you're not prepared to ask a guy out, don't complain when opportunities slip through your fingers.
I'm not moaning, if guys are too stupid to notice my flirting it's their loss

What Tink said about msn.

What Tink said about msn.
:cool:

The thing with MSN works with NS accounts too...

ask her out on msn then if she says no you can blame it on a friend pretending to be you
I recommend against this. Honesty is the best policy. Asking a girl out can be nerve-wracking, but remember that the worst she can do is say "No"; in this case you move on to someone else.

Besides, Ooples, you and she are already going to each others proms, so I'd take that as a good sign and ask her out again after the second prom.

I'm gonna get told off for saying this (again :rolleyes: ) but I think it's up to the guy to ask the girl out, I tend to flirt with guys to show that I'm interested, shame they're usually either not interested in me or too stupid to notice :rolleyes:
A reasonable enough opinion, but I will disagree: It should be okay for either gender to make the first move. If a woman I like takes the initiative with me, I'm not going to turn her down for it.

That said, there are quite a number of guys who could stand to gain by knowing what to look for.

hint to her that you are thinking of this prom thing as a DATE. as in "a romantic evening that we will attend as a couple". see if she thinks its a great idea or yucky.

she just moved away. how old are you? if there is no reasonable chance for you to get together for YEARS it would be better to let her go rather than try to get her into a "dead end" relationship when she should be dating guys that she can actually be with in real life. i know its hard but if you love her you should do whats best for her.

if you are adults or pretty much ready to be on your own, then see what you can do to build a real relationship with her if she is willing to give it a try.

oh yeah and no matter what, at the prom, make sure you tell her she looks great and KISS HER FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I agree with the entire post, but this section in bold is particularly important. If there's no chance of regular face-to-face contact over the next year, then I wouldn't bother asking her out.

oh god, not again :rolleyes: and I would be perfectly happy being barefoot and pregnant (ok, maybe not that one just yet) and in the kitchen, my nation's motto is 'A woman's place is in the home' afterall.

Because the guy is supposed to be the dominant one, he should take charge and stop being a pussy!
I don't agree with FairyTInkArisen, but her position isn't unreasonable. There are times when a man needs to be a man.

Come on now, I think it's time where we moved beyond such simple imposed gender roles that say

male = dominant
female = submissive
I agree that it's time we moved beyond imposing such gender roles on others whether they like it or not, but if some people wish to impose those roles upon themselves, then I don't see a problem with that.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

IMO you should just cowboy the F*ck up and tell her how you feel about her and ask her if the feelings mutual, if she says yes thats awesome for ya, if she says no, well then at least you know there is no chance of having a relationship beyond being friends, and the what ifs won't haunt you for a long time, so just go for it, what the worst she could she say, "I just wanna be friends"

Jeez, am I the only one here who advises caution when telling girls how you feel about them?

The real question underpinning this is how good-looking are you?

If you look good, then you have a good chance with her. You're her best friend, so she obviously likes you. And now you're off to the prom together, so she quite possibly likes you as more than a friend. Seize the opportunity. Don't forget to tell her she looks good when you see her, that may help. Just take it as it comes.

If you don't, then you have no chance. You're her best friend, but you'll never get any further. Even though you're off to the prom together, she probably only invited you because she didn't want to go alone. Whatever you do, don't flirt with her. She won't appreciate it.

Just my £0.02.

-snip-

Wow .. bleak ..

I agree that it's time we moved beyond imposing such gender roles on others whether they like it or not, but if some people wish to impose those roles upon themselves, then I don't see a problem with that.
Yes, that's completely fair. Just responding to her blanket statement that males "should" be dominant.

I'm not moaning, if guys are too stupid to notice my flirting it's their loss
That's a bit too confident for a woman. Back to the kitchen with you. And take off those damn shoes. ;)

I saw a movie once where all this guy had to do to win the girl was save her life. So I propose that I come to your prom and somehow "jeopardise" her life (my fav trick is to prentend to be dracula or something), then you step in and rescue her. You get the girl, I get to go to a party, the costume shop gets a customer, she gets some emotional scars - everbody wins.

Yes, that's completely fair. Just responding to her blanket statement that males "should" be dominant.


That's a bit too confident for a woman. Back to the kitchen with you. And take off those damn shoes. ;)
sorry dear, won't happen again dear

Wow .. bleak ..
He's right though. I know that he may regret never asking, but if he asks and she refuses, their relationship will never be the same again, especially considering that they're teenagers. They would probably end up just drifting apart. He should decide whether the possibility of a romantic relationship with her is worth the possibility of throwing their friendship away.

I saw a movie once where all this guy had to do to win the girl was save her life. So I propose that I come to your prom and somehow "jeopardise" her life (my fav trick is to prentend to be dracula or something), then you step in and rescue her. You get the girl, I get to go to a party, the costume shop gets a customer, she gets some emotional scars - everbody wins.

Yes, by all means, intentionally try to kill the girl you like. :D

He's right though. I know that he may regret never asking, but if he asks and she refuses, their relationship will never be the same again, especially considering that they're teenagers. They would probably end up just drifting apart. He should decide whether the possibility of a romantic relationship with her is worth the possibility of throwing their friendship away.

Indeed, that's one of my main contributing fears towards asking girls I know out.

Yes, by all means, intentionally try to kill the girl you like. :D

Statistics show that all marrages - that were not founded upon some elaborate lie/conceit - end in either death or divorce. :D

I saw a movie once where all this guy had to do to win the girl was save her life. So I propose that I come to your prom and somehow "jeopardise" her life (my fav trick is to prentend to be dracula or something), then you step in and rescue her. You get the girl, I get to go to a party, the costume shop gets a customer, she gets some emotional scars - everbody wins.

This never works in the cartoons and trashy romance novels either, if I remember correctly.

A little update. First of all I am 18 years old. So i guess that makes me somewhat of a young adult. And also I have no other friends that are girls. Just her. To myself I really dont consider her a friend, I consider her much more than that. But I dont know how she feels about me and I defenitely plan on asking her. I just got accepted to Frostburg State University which coincidentally is where she got accepted to. I didnt know this at all I just wanted to go to a college in the area. Most people say Im crazy and in love and I have to agree with them. prom is only 4 days ago and I have plans for being as romantic as possible. Any suggestions?

A little update. First of all I am 18 years old. So i guess that makes me somewhat of a young adult. And also I have no other friends that are girls. Just her. To myself I really dont consider her a friend, I consider her much more than that. But I dont know how she feels about me and I defenitely plan on asking her. I just got accepted to Frostburg State University which coincidentally is where she got accepted to. I didnt know this at all I just wanted to go to a college in the area. Most people say Im crazy and in love and I have to agree with them. prom is only 4 days ago and I have plans for being as romantic as possible. Any suggestions?

Girls don't go to the Prom with guys they don't like. She must think you are pretty special if she is coming back to go to the Prom with you. Romantic is ok, but don't go overboard. We aren't talking marriage here are we? Be yourself. Is she seeing anyone else? Does she know you are going to the same college as she is? It's the Prom have fun.

Oh ya, he said if he hadn't seen our photo in the paper he never would have believed we were there. We left early.

I took the high school principles daughter to the Prom. He didn't like me very much because I smoked pot and drove a motorcycle and my grades were awful. Once again have fun.

I'm in the "too stupid" category, definitely, because I have no idea when a girl is interested :p

Come to think of it, only one girl that I actually asked out went out with me. The rest had to ask me, and even then they had to be blunt. :p
i found out shortly after we started going out that both my girlfriend and myself liekd each other very much for about 5-7 months before we started going out. we were jsut really oblivious. the both of us. so dumb.

Well Im not going to be too romantic. Just enough but I am thinking the same thing that if she is willing to go to 3 different proms there must be something. But at the same time I am having huge doubts about this. Also she does know about the college thing and seems to be cool about it and happy for me. Her family loves me which is a great thing and its like im part of the family sometimes. Who knows maybe marriage is in the plans for the future? :D

Oh yeah about her seeing anyone. She was going out with a guy who she didnt like from the beginning but she was kinda forced into the relationship by her friend because the guy is the friends brother. They just broke up when she moved away. Im still very confused about how I go about telling my best friend for the last 5 years that I have loved her all this time. Its defenitley someting that im not sure if i want to risk or not. I might as well.

Well Im not going to be too romantic. Just enough but I am thinking the same thing that if she is willing to go to 3 different proms there must be something. But at the same time I am having huge doubts about this. Also she does know about the college thing and seems to be cool about it and happy for me. Her family loves me which is a great thing and its like im part of the family sometimes. Who knows maybe marriage is in the plans for the future? :D

Have you ever told her how much you like her?

No I havent and Ive written several letters and things to let my feelings out in a way but shes never seen them. Its basically killing me inside about not telling her but If I do and she doensnt think of me that way then my whole life as I know it is screwed. I mean come on Im going to the same college for heaven sake!

but If I do and she doensnt think of me that way then my whole life as I know it is screwed.
That is completely and utterly false. It doesn't matter what situation you are in, that is not true.

Oh yeah about her seeing anyone. She was going out with a guy who she didnt like from the beginning but she was kinda forced into the relationship by her friend because the guy is the friends brother. They just broke up when she moved away. Im still very confused about how I go about telling my best friend for the last 5 years that I have loved her all this time. Its defenitley someting that im not sure if i want to risk or not. I might as well.

Understand, that if you do tell her how deep your feelings are you risk losing the relationship you currently have. Is this worth it to you. Only you know. Go with your gut. If it seems right go for it. This is not fun stuff, but it is a part of life that we all have to go through. You may not want to tell the whole story right away. It is difficult to give advice about this. The best thing to remember is if she doesn't feel the same way it is not the end of the world. It may feel that way at first, but it isn't.

Well maybe thats good news then. Im not sure if that makes me feel any better or less confused.

Im thinking that if I wait through another relationship like I did before then I probably couldnt do it. Im wondering just how to tell her because this is very difficult as you may know.

Maybe you should go to the prom and be yourself, have a great time. Then give her the letter (saying the truth about how you feel) after wards and tell her to read it at home. That way she will have privacy to consider how she feels and there won't be as much pressure and it won't be as awkward. It's sometimes easier to write how you feel than say it.

What ever you do, good luck! I think you should tell her. Take a risk. If you don't, she may find someone else.
She might not like you in the same way, but at least if you tell her, you won't have any regrets in the future thinking 'what if'.

I know, easier said than done :).

what kinda confuses me the most is the fact that when we first met we both had a crush on each other but I was about 13 or 14 at the time and i was stupid I admit. But I think about it this way if I did go out with her Im not sure if it would have lasted this long. What do you think?

Im thinking that if I wait through another relationship like I did before then I probably couldnt do it. Im wondering just how to tell her because this is very difficult as you may know.

What I'm picking up from this conversation is that you really have to tell her the truth about your feelings. Maybe that is the best way to tell her. Just say something like I need tell you the truth. I would wait until the Prom is over or nearly over. It could be rather difficult if you tell her over dinner and she gets upset. I really get the feeling that this is going to go ok for you. Please let us know after the Prom on Sat.--right.

Maybe you should go to the prom and be yourself, have a great time. Then give her the letter (saying the truth about how you feel) after wards and tell her to read it at home. That way she will have privacy to consider how she feels and there won't be as much pressure and it won't be as awkward. It's sometimes easier to write how you feel than say it.

What ever you do, good luck! I think you should tell her. Take a risk. If you don't, she may find someone else.
She might not like you in the same way, but at least if you tell her, you won't have any regrets in the future thinking 'what if'.

I know, easier said than done :).

Yeah I know easier said than done but im still not sure if i should be myself. because im a big flirt with girls that i know. I might scare her off. What other way should I go about it?

What I'm picking up from this conversation is that you really have to tell her the truth about your feelings. Maybe that is the best way to tell her. Just say something like I need tell you the truth. I would wait until the Prom is over or nearly over. It could be rather difficult if you tell her over dinner and she gets upset. I really get the feeling that this is going to go ok for you. Please let us know after the Prom on Sat.--right.

yeah you bet as soon as i finished prom this is the first place im going. Just make sure your awake at 3 in the morning. :) But dont forget I got another prom with her on May 28 so im not sure. Should I tell her now? Or should I wait until May 28 prom?

yeah you bet as soon as i finished prom this is the first place im going. Just make sure your awake at 3 in the morning. :) But dont forget I got another prom with her on May 28 so im not sure. Should I tell her now? Or should I wait until May 28 prom?

You decide if you want to do it at this prom or the next. Go with your feelings. Your gut feeling is often very accurate.

thats why im kinda worried. I aint getting a gut feeling right now at all

thats why im kinda worried. I aint getting a gut feeling right now at all

Hey real life is tough sometimes. I think it will come to you when the time is right. But remember if you don't tell her sometime you will always wonder if you should have. That is even worse than the risk of rejection.

Hey real life is tough sometimes. I think it will come to you when the time is right. But remember if you don't tell her sometime you will always wonder if you should have. That is even worse than the risk of rejection.

how right you are. well ill have to finish this tomorrow. I will update everyone later.

how right you are. well ill have to finish this tomorrow. I will update everyone later.

Sounds good.

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?


I can tell you this much: Whatever you do, please oh please do SOMETHING. I've found out over the years that, in matters of the heart, taking no action eventually hurts a hell of a lot more than doing the wrong thing ever would have.

Taking a chance at least gives you the opportunity to have things work out. Doing nothing yields a 0% success rate. I found that one out from experience :(.

The same doesn't hold true for skydiving though. Damn it hurts to land without the chute open ;)

Its basically killing me inside about not telling her but If I do and she doensnt think of me that way then my whole life as I know it is screwed. I mean come on Im going to the same college for heaven sake!Please do something about it. I have a very good friend that's a guy, that I often get a romantic vibe from, but who I'm no at all attracted to, though I love him to death as a friend. I often wish he would just say it sometime, so that I could say no, and clear it all up. It wouldn't mean our lives are over, its just that the air would be cleared. I would never give him up, ever.
I'm not saying this is the case with you; she most likely loves you back. But either way, its best to have it out, and take the result like a man.

You only live once.

ASK HER.
No you live many times by coming back to this earth until you reach nirvana!


(I am sorry, I just couldn't resist. I am not really buddist)

Hm. Dilemna. I only live once, but I live forever - does this still apply to me?

[QUOTE=Doom777]No you live many times by coming back to this earth until you reach nirvana![QUOTE]
Great! I always wanted to ask them why oh why did they make a song about cheap deoderant.

Hey Ooples, you say you're planning to go to all these proms with her, right? now, since when did a girl agree to go to a prom with someone she didn't like? You say that she is so much more than a mere friend to you (although "mere" doesn't quite cut it...) and I'm sure she feels the same way about you!

Just gamble all you've got, burn all bridges and all that stuff but please, do it in the right way. There was an earlier suggestion here about perhaps putting your feelings in writing, and ask her to open the letter on the way home. I think thats an excellent idea. It is often easier to put your feelings into words on paper than with.. well, words. Give her some time to think about without putting her under too much pressure.

And now; if the worse should come to the worse. It. Is. Not.The. End. Of. The. World. Got that? You're telling her how you feel about her, and even if she doesn't return those feelings, well, you can still be friends, right?

Go for it mate, the first chance you get - first prom! Who knows, perhaps it's already to late on the 28th? I sincerely wish you the whole world of luck, and I'm looking forward to hearing of how this all ends.

Good Luck. Burn the bridges. Tell her in writing.
It'll be alright.

I'm gonna get told off for saying this (again :rolleyes: ) but I think it's up to the guy to ask the girl out, I tend to flirt with guys to show that I'm interested, shame they're usually either not interested in me or too stupid to notice :rolleyes:

hehe i'm interested.

Hey Ooples, you say you're planning to go to all these proms with her, right? now, since when did a girl agree to go to a prom with someone she didn't like? You say that she is so much more than a mere friend to you (although "mere" doesn't quite cut it...) and I'm sure she feels the same way about you!

Just gamble all you've got, burn all bridges and all that stuff but please, do it in the right way. There was an earlier suggestion here about perhaps putting your feelings in writing, and ask her to open the letter on the way home. I think thats an excellent idea. It is often easier to put your feelings into words on paper than with.. well, words. Give her some time to think about without putting her under too much pressure.

And now; if the worse should come to the worse. It. Is. Not.The. End. Of. The. World. Got that? You're telling her how you feel about her, and even if she doesn't return those feelings, well, you can still be friends, right?

Go for it mate, the first chance you get - first prom! Who knows, perhaps it's already to late on the 28th? I sincerely wish you the whole world of luck, and I'm looking forward to hearing of how this all ends.

Good Luck. Burn the bridges. Tell her in writing.
It'll be alright.

Ya I agree go for it. Roll the dice. *rolls dice* snake eyes damn. Oh well i wish you the best of luck.

hehe i'm interested.
*flirts*

*flirts*
woo who *flirts back*

Im going to take the chance or roll the dice. Im probably going to tell her at prom. What do you think about starting a conversation of how we met and working my way from there?

Tink]I'm gonna get told off for saying this (again ) but I think it's up to the guy to ask the girl out, I tend to flirt with guys to show that I'm interested, shame they're usually either not interested in me or too stupid to notice
no fair :(


edit: wait a minute, didn't you ask me to e-marry you? :confused:

Im going to take the chance or roll the dice. Im probably going to tell her at prom. What do you think about starting a conversation of how we met and working my way from there?
Too much talk. Tell her that you've always loved her, and give her a big kiss.

Ive actually tried doing something like that already. But I tried to booty dance with her and played it off when she gave me a look like "what are you doing?!?!"

Something I forgot to mention. Both of us are extremely shy. so that does create some problems

Ive actually tried doing something like that already. But I tried to booty dance with her and played it off when she gave me a look like "what are you doing?!?!"
No booty dancing. Just tell her you love her.

No booty dancing. Just tell her you love her.

Yeah I know I was just wanting to see what her reaction was and man did I get a reaction. ;)

And replying to a previous post girls actually consider me good looking. Not that I think so but Im hoping that I do have a good chance with her.

When I was in high school, I had a great friend who I also thought was kinda cute. Then he came out to me. Which was fine, so he was put in the box labelled 'friend' very firmly.
Then we got drunk one night and slept together. Which confused me. A lot. Especially since it happened a few times. (It didn't half confuse our friends when he came out to them as well *lol* that was funny).
Then I realised I was actually in love with him, so I turned into the evil b*tch from hell and was really nasty to him. Which in turn, confused him. A good mutual friend intervened and told me I had better be straight with him (no pun intended) so I told him how I felt. After that, when we got drunk together and his hands started wandering, I walked away. Saved me being confused. And he learned to restrain himself (obviously with difficulty, because I am drop dead goregous *grins*)
We remained very close friends for at least another 5 or 6 years. Only recently (after we graduated from uni-we went to the same one) have we lost touch, although I still bump into him from time to time, and we are still friendly when that happens.

So, in my case, it didn't work out in the relationship stakes, but we did manage to remain clsoe friends for quite a while.

I wouldn't necessarily advise telling this girl that you have loved her for years, but certainly I think you should give it a try.

Blessings
Cyber

no fair :(


edit: wait a minute, didn't you ask me to e-marry you? :confused:
yeah, but you're far too special for me to just let slip through my fingers so i couldn't risk having to wait for you to ask

When I was in high school, I had a great friend who I also thought was kinda cute. Then he came out to me. Which was fine, so he was put in the box labelled 'friend' very firmly.
Then we got drunk one night and slept together. Which confused me. A lot. Especially since it happened a few times. (It didn't half confuse our friends when he came out to them as well *lol* that was funny).
Then I realised I was actually in love with him, so I turned into the evil b*tch from hell and was really nasty to him. Which in turn, confused him. A good mutual friend intervened and told me I had better be straight with him (no pun intended) so I told him how I felt. After that, when we got drunk together and his hands started wandering, I walked away. Saved me being confused. And he learned to restrain himself (obviously with difficulty, because I am drop dead goregous *grins*)
We remained very close friends for at least another 5 or 6 years. Only recently (after we graduated from uni-we went to the same one) have we lost touch, although I still bump into him from time to time, and we are still friendly when that happens.

So, in my case, it didn't work out in the relationship stakes, but we did manage to remain clsoe friends for quite a while.

I wouldn't necessarily advise telling this girl that you have loved her for years, but certainly I think you should give it a try.

Blessings
Cyber


BTW, this is typical.

sounds like good advice. 3 more days til the prom! :D

BTW, this is typical.

Typical of what? *grins*

Blessings
Cyber

sounds like good advice. 3 more days til the prom! :D
Good luck mate, we all await the outcome with baited breath :P

Blessings
Cyber

I have a short story to tell you. There is a girl who I have been best friends with for 5 years now. She moved away a little over 5 months ago but is coming back to go with me to prom. And Im going to visit her for her prom. We also went last year together to hers. And all of this time I have loved her. What do I do?

Run away. Antartica's nice this time of year. Oh the pain, the pain of it all.

Run away. Antartica's nice this time of year. Oh the pain, the pain of it all.

Anartica huh? I like that. Maybe Australia in the outback

When I was in high school, I had a great friend who I also thought was kinda cute. Then he came out to me. Which was fine, so he was put in the box labelled 'friend' very firmly.
Then we got drunk one night and slept together. Which confused me. A lot. Especially since it happened a few times. (It didn't half confuse our friends when he came out to them as well *lol* that was funny).
Then I realised I was actually in love with him, so I turned into the evil b*tch from hell and was really nasty to him. Which in turn, confused him. A good mutual friend intervened and told me I had better be straight with him (no pun intended) so I told him how I felt. After that, when we got drunk together and his hands started wandering, I walked away. Saved me being confused. And he learned to restrain himself (obviously with difficulty, because I am drop dead goregous *grins*)
We remained very close friends for at least another 5 or 6 years. Only recently (after we graduated from uni-we went to the same one) have we lost touch, although I still bump into him from time to time, and we are still friendly when that happens.

So, in my case, it didn't work out in the relationship stakes, but we did manage to remain clsoe friends for quite a while.

I wouldn't necessarily advise telling this girl that you have loved her for years, but certainly I think you should give it a try.

Blessings
Cyber

What a sordid little story.

What a sordid little story.

Really? Didn't think it was that bad at all.
It's kind of up there with the list of things not to do in relationships:
(i) Don't fall in love with a gay guy!

Blessings
Cyber

Typical of what? *grins*

Blessings
Cyber

It's typical of relationships, whether you're gay or not. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't be as stupid as the rest of us.

I could regale you with the sordid tales of how many gay men have found me attractive over the years, only to discover to their dismay that I wasn't.

I could regale you with the sordid tales of how many gay men have found me attractive over the years, only to discover to their dismay that I wasn't.

Im hoping that doesnt happen to me. My best friend is actually gay.

I am not certain of the usefulness of my perspective, or the validity of my advice, but I must say that I was once involved in a situation painfully similar to your own. I suppose I spent far too much time analysing/regretting/fantasizing about what I could have done differently. So know that anything included herein is skewed by my personal demons and, of course, time. If you think it will be helpful (or entertaining), let me know and I will tell you my personal story (but I must warn you, my writing gets pretty verbose).

Regardless, I also agree that you should let her know how you feel. However, this should not necessarily encourage you to tell her how you feel in a longhand block essay, or Petrarchan sonnet folded up in a blue envelope. As Ashmoria so beautifully put, "...make sure you tell her she looks great and KISS HER FOR GOD'S SAKE..."
As we all know the word "KISS" is an acronym for one truely poignant statement, "Keep It Simple, Stupid."

And just say, "I love you," or even, "I'm falling in love with you." I sometimes prefer the latter since it portrays a dynamic situation in recent development, which might be less threatening to her.

I would not say, "I have always loved you," or hand her a long letter to that effect. It suggests that you've been keeping something from her, only letting her in on the secret now, when it's too late for her to change your mind. She becomes powerless to do anything other than take it or leave it. She might resent that and "leave it" on principle.

Now, as there are always exceptions, if some uncomplicated tactic does not upset her, you might want to keep a letter on you just in case. If and only if she _calmly_ denies that you actually feel the way you do (or it if is clear to you that she remains even-tempered and skeptical), present her with your simple, warm, well-thought-out letter which explains your love for her (yes, well-thought-out AND simple). Whether you should have her read it right there and then, or after she leaves, I really can't say. Although I will say that if you tell her you love her, and do not deliver the letter at that time, you can always choose a later, more appropriate moment to give it to her. We don't want to overwhelm the poor thing.

Oh, as Whispering Legs emphasized, NO BOOTY DANCING. That says, "I want to fuck you," and does not say, "I Love you." Be a gentleman (unless you are _sure_ that she wants you to be...less than gentleman ;)

Anyways, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. Based purely on my limited perspective of the situation, my cursory examination, and your youth and inexperience, I would say you have very little chance of pulling this one off. However, I am _not_ saying don't try. Just don't be surprised if for whatever reason, of which there are many she has to choose from, she denies your advances. In this case, don't dwell on it: if you value her friendship you'll give her some time and make the most of what you do have. That is, even if she doesn't admit to it, I'm sure you do have her requited love, just not the way you would like, perhaps.


P.S.

About the marriage thing...just back the hell away from that one, tiger. You are way too young to be even thinking about eternal vows. If you do start dating this girl, take it real slow, wait at _least_ five years until "popping the question," provided you actually happen to be dating her at that point. It also is recommended to be already living with a person before making any commitment like that.


P.P.S.

Of course, if you decide that you should remain her friend for now, it still dosen't hurt to tell her you love her. Maybe you can keep that door open for later in life. You would just have to watch her date other guys, if you can handle it.



Good luck, mate,
Though it might not be obvious, I am rooting for you.
For the both of you.

...And the absolutely most important thing to remember...whatever you do, it's prom, don't worry, get excited, enjoy yourself!!!!!

about the prom

not that i ever went to the prom myself but it seems to me that you should try to show her a really good time.

if she is wearing one of those fancy prom dresses that scream "i want a romantic evening" then pull out all the stop to act like one of those guys in an old black and white movie.

tell her she looks wonderful. help her on with her coat. open all doors for her. toss your coat on the unavoidable puddle so she doesnt get her feet wet! take her coat, get her drinks, light her cigarettes.

slow dance with her, pull her close and tell her she smells wonderful. look into her eyes and kiss her lightly.

treat her like a freaking princess. like she was the most beautiful most wonderful women who ever lived.

if she responds well to you then you can tell her that you like her very much, if she doesnt seem to be all that into you, at least you gave her a night she will always remember.

geez i sure hope you know how to dance, its kinda late to learn but you have a day to get good enough so you dont make a fool of yourself.

Im hoping that doesnt happen to me. My best friend is actually gay.

It's actually flattering. Contrary to popular opinion, gay men don't seem to be too much better at spotting a gay man in a crowd than any heterosexual male.

Been hit on too many times to count. It happens. Nothing to get alarmed about. It may, however, be very funny.

Haven't dealt with this type of situation in a long time. Whoever it was who said to drink, I agree. Just don't drink too much.

Use your head, my man. If you really need to tell her how you feel, then do it, but don't scare her off. Do what you think is important, but don't forget about what else is around you.

Sadly but honestly, the best advice I can give you is that if it doesn't swing in your favor, go to a bar, get hammered, pick up a girl there. Never failed me once.

It sounds to me like you've got quite a good friendship going on with this girl already, which in the big scheme of things, can often times be a Hell of a lot better for you and her. For example, no messy break-up residue with just a friend.

Of course, if you decide that you should remain her friend for now, it still dosen't hurt to tell her you love her. Maybe you can keep that door open for later in life. You would just have to watch her date other guys, if you can handle it.

This is a good point. 70% of things in life don't go the way you want, which sucks, but it's just part of living. Think with your brain. Your gut doesn't have one of those.

Like I said about friendship, it can often be better in the long-run, especially if you started out as friends. It's one thing to lose a girlfriend, it's another to entirely lose a friend. They're rare and important people in life. Probably the only people you can trust in the least, besides your parents.

But I understand how this works: no foresight in these situations.

Look at the situation scientifically and figure out what to do as you go along. She will know if you start off the night with an agenda or a plan. It's just one of those inexplicable little idiosyncrasies you have to deal with in life.

Just be yourself and tell her how you feel when you think the time is right for her to know. That's the hard part.

- Tomas K.

my suggestion would be to follow the hints these guys have posted, i think they're really great.

but if you feel at all that you aren't sure whether or not you should do it at this time, write the letter anyway. make it as good and romantic and pure and honest ass possible and keep it with you at the prom. you can then see how the evening is going and if you think you should go with it, give her the letter now and if you don't think it's the right time, keep it with you but give it the next time then. i think it's good to have a "secret" weapon giving you confidence. then you don't have to go there all the time thinking 'should i do it should i...' but you can just go with the flow and in the end think what you should do. try not to be too nervous, she will sense it.

i used to be really shy guy about these things before and nowadays i'm really angry at myself because i wasted those times of my life by being shy. well now i'm not that shy anymore (i'm still 16) i met a really really nice girl who became my good friend and i felt i was in love with her. i wanted to tell her that because i didn't want to be the same wuzzy i had been before, so when i was once sleeping at her place (we slept in the same bed but with clothes on and nothing erotic. we were just dog tired) i told her i like her.

then she told me that she likes me too. but i said 'no, but i like you really much' she said that she also likes me really much. but i said 'i like you more' and she said she also does, until i said something like 'i like you that way' and she also said that she likes me that way...it was kinda confusing eventually i added up everything i had said before like 'i like you really much that way.......' and then she was like the same thing until i said i'd like her to be my girlfriend. and my heart bumped like hell, that was when i understood why they say feelings are situated in the heart and she was shivering like mad. and then she went to sleep on the floor and throw up (we had eaten some odd tacos, other people also got bad feeling from them)...anyway a few days later she came to me and said 'i don't think it's a good idea...'cos we do food all the time together' or something rubbish and i thought it must be the worst excuse i've ever heard. but i was extremely glad with myself having the guts to ask her even if she rejected me and after a week or so with not being really noticing each other (we used to be because we're in the same class), i think we became even better friends.

do it! ;)

i wish you luck

Well the good news is that I can dance really well. Ive never stepped on her feet. And also she started driving last night at 10 oclock and is driving all night to see me so she should be here soon(it takes about 12 hours to get here). Im pretty happy about that. So tomorrow night is the big night for me. I will post to let you all know how things go. ;)

Well the good news is that I can dance really well. Ive never stepped on her feet. And also she started driving last night at 10 oclock and is driving all night to see me so she should be here soon(it takes about 12 hours to get here). Im pretty happy about that. So tomorrow night is the big night for me. I will post to let you all know how things go. ;)

I just know it is going to go very good for you two. I think I will stay up late to hear the news. Dang, I wish I could dance.

If shes driving 12 hours just to go to a dance i think you're set

Is anyone else staying up late to see how our friend Oooples did at the prom tonight. Geez I hope it went good for him and his sweetheart?

I hope you post something before you go to bed so i can read it in the morning.

i got great news!

Things couldnt have gone better. We went to a japanese cuisine. We ate without our shoes and sitting on the floor that kind of thing. We then went to the prom and I introduced all of my friends to her. I was kinda embarassed because 2 of my friends were telling her that I like her alot and that I talk alot about her. She didnt even seem to mind. I actally think she liked that.

And also we started dancing as soon as we got there pretty much and it was awesome. She cant dance to fast songs but I really didnt care. I danced with her to a song from Napoleon Dynamite. (That one where hes dancing about 5 feet from her) Anyway, we danced kinda far apart for the first songs. But it occured to me that at every song we got closer and closer. By the last 2 hours we were dancing with no space between us and our necks intertwined. It was perfect. She looked so beautiful and smelled so good. I was in heaven. We danced the night away and all I could do was just smile, literally. When were dancing I closed my eyes and it seemed like the only people there were us. :D

We talked some during the dances and during the fast dances I was acting kinda goofy but she laughed and she hadnt laughed like that when we first met and she had a crush on me. Also my friend asked her how long she knew me and she told him 6 years. That really surprised me because I never thought she would have known that. Also I apologize for skipping around in the story but when I took her to her hotel she told me that we met at a party which again I was really surprised about that because I thought she forgot all about it. But again the dancing was great. We even went to a corner of the giant room and danced alone in the dark with nobody around. My heart was thumping but I wasnt acting like a jerk. I was being a total gentleman. I didnt put my hands on her butt like everyone else and I opened doors for her (for my car and stuff) and I could tell she was really enjoying herself.

Also some other things. She was really impressed by my amount of friends. And she got along with them great. When I took her to the hotel we stood there talking for about 10 minutes. It was like either one of us wanted to go. I looked at her and she looked at me and I knew that there was something more to this friendship. I leaned forward and...

oooo congrats ooples! sounds like you had a great time! good job!

A great night for you and your girl friend. Wonderful.

Jeez, am I the only one here who advises caution when telling girls how you feel about them?

The real question underpinning this is how good-looking are you?

If you look good, then you have a good chance with her. You're her best friend, so she obviously likes you. And now you're off to the prom together, so she quite possibly likes you as more than a friend. Seize the opportunity. Don't forget to tell her she looks good when you see her, that may help. Just take it as it comes.

If you don't, then you have no chance. You're her best friend, but you'll never get any further. Even though you're off to the prom together, she probably only invited you because she didn't want to go alone. Whatever you do, don't flirt with her. She won't appreciate it.

Just my £0.02.

so you are saying someone has to be hot in order to go out with thier best friend? Now that thier is a lie! I am not hot at all, and I am going out with my bestfriend. I know how he feels to, not sure if he should ask her out or not. So do what i did, and this is my advice to you coming from i had this experince, and ask her out. If she says no, then thier is no hard feeling, and if she says yes, just remember that will change some things in your relationship. First, if you ever break up with her, or vise versa, remember that you will still have that memory in your head that you two went out together at one time. Next, if your relationship goes bad, you could lose her as a bestfriend, and maybe even a friend. You need to take that into your mind as you decide what best to do. Other then that, i don't think you have much to worry about. Now, go :mp5: the question, and ask her out. If she says yes, then get ready for some :fluffle: fun. If she says no, atleast you can say you tried right? :)

I'm happy for ya Ooples. Good work.

I think Im going to ask her out and Ill let you all know when I do

I think Im going to ask her out and Ill let you all know when I do
good luck

I think Im going to ask her out and Ill let you all know when I do

Best of luck! let us know how it goes!

Should I wait until I see her again in person or should I ask her on the phone?

Should I wait until I see her again in person or should I ask her on the phone?

In person. Always.

In person. Always.

I'd tend to agree here - would probably come across as more personal that way.

(I'm a guy, so I haven't a clue how the female species works... but yah.)

Well I guess that means I should wait until I next see her at the next and final prom.

I'm backing Kellarly on this, you should ask her in person the first time.

Good Luck!

You only live once, my man. I took my opportunity when it came and i'm as happy as can be. Dont pass it up.

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!

I'm getting all excited now.
Good luck.

Heh, I asked a girl out once. But that's a different story.

Don't ask me for advice, by the way. She said no.
My God I fumbled that one. *Shouts melodramatically:* My God I'm a failure!!
*Cries into hand then looks up hopefully for sympathy. Sees none forthcoming.* Ah well, I'll live.

See? I got over it. So don't be nervous. Go for it. Whoop, etc.

Don't ask me for advice, by the way. She said no.
My God I fumbled that one. *Shouts melodramatically:* My God I'm a failure!!
*Cries into hand then looks up hopefully for sympathy. Sees none forthcoming.* Ah well, I'll live.

See? I got over it. So don't be nervous. Go for it. Whoop, etc.
*offers sympathy and a fluffle* :fluffle:

I saw a movie once where all this guy had to do to win the girl was save her life...

ALL he had to do, its not really a big thing saving someones life is it?

You only live once, my man. I took my opportunity when it came and i'm as happy as can be. Dont pass it up.

Yes, the worst that can happen is she'll say no. And you'll at least have asked. Won't be kicking yourself 20 years from now saying, "if I had only..."

Should I wait until I see her again in person or should I ask her on the phone?

You do mean ask her for a date--right? If yes, then get on the phone now and ask her out. Man she's nuts over you. She drove 12 hrs to go to prom with you. Dude, she has a huge crush on you. Send her flowers. You are in love with her--true? You are in like Flynn. Congrats Dude.

I'm really happy for you Ooples. It sounds like it'll all work out well, just don't pass it up now.

Actually I already got her a dozen roses for Valentines Day. But something I need to know is what the heck should I get her for her birthday coming up exactly a week before the next prom? It should be something romantic right? Or maybe something practical?

Actually I already got her a dozen roses for Valentines Day. But something I need to know is what the heck should I get her for her birthday coming up exactly a week before the next prom? It should be something romantic right? Or maybe something practical?

More flowers, dude. It's ok she will love them. She drove 12hrs to be with you; she deserves the flowers. Perhaps, a braclet or a pair of earrings. The women will know better than me. I don't think you can be too far off no matter what you get her.

Hey wait a minute, you bought her flowers for Valentines Day and she didn't complain that they too much. Man she is just waiting for you to tell her how much you like her. Send more flowers, call her and tell her how nuts you are about her. She will respond in kind.

More flowers, dude. It's ok she will love them. She drove 12hrs to be with you; she deserves the flowers. Perhaps, a braclet or a pair of earrings. The women will know better than me. I don't think you can be too far off no matter what you get her.

Hey wait a minute, you bought her flowers for Valentines Day and she didn't complain that they too much. Man she is just waiting for you to tell her how much you like her. Send more flowers, call her and tell her how nuts you are about her. She will respond in kind.

It sounds like you could be right about all of this. It makes perfect sense

If I got some pictures from prom would you guys like to see them?

If I got some pictures from prom would you guys like to see them?

Yes, very much!!!

Well Ill start to post some. The only ones I have right now are from last years prom. So ill go put some on.

Heres the image from last years prom:

http://www.geocities.com/cheatcountry2002/prom.jpg

Make sure to let me know if it works

Make sure to let me know if it works


It didn't work for me.

Ill post the ones from this year as soon as I get them. By the way last years photo is the worst one I think cuz I look different now. actually im probably just embarassed.

It didn't work for me.
It works for me. Im not sure what the problem is. What happens when you click it?

why is that :( ? I think the girls should ask the guys out more often... There are a lot of girls that i like but im just too much of a bone head to approach them. If a girl came up to me...that would make it so much easier...

I can't agree more with you. I'm a girl, and if I like someone, I go 4 it (him). The macho bull shit is soooooo last century. Although, I'm aware that many are still thinking the macho way. Let's go postmodern!!! Let's live!!! :fluffle:

It works for me. Im not sure what the problem is. What happens when you click it?

it works now.

you look very cute together Ooples

you look very cute together Ooples

Well Thankyou. I will post this years pictures as soon as I get them. So stay tuned! :p

Ooples, you two make a very nice looking couple. I predict a very long, very long and loving relationship for the two of you.

:D good luck bro and remember, just be yourself , have fun and i hope you two get together and stay that way......

You only live once.

ASK HER.

I agree with Khwarezmia. And it's quite possible that she may be wondering what's taking you so long.

Remember - the strongest relationships are built on a foundation of friendship first and foremost.

Ooples, you two make a very nice looking couple. I predict a very long, very long and loving relationship for the two of you.

Well thank you very much. I do have to agree with you. Everybody has been saying that about us. Our personalities match very well too. Shes the other part of my soul that I have been searching for all these years.

Well thank you very much. I do have to agree with you. Everybody has been saying that about us. Our personalities match very well too. Shes the other part of my soul that I have been searching for all these years.

To have found her and also recognize her--you are a lucky man.