NationStates Jolt Archive


What kind of name is that for a monkey?

Free Soviets
17-04-2005, 04:15
http://www.globetechnology.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20050414.gthayapr14/BNStory/Technology/

Internet casino wins right to name monkey

Thursday, April 14, 2005 Updated at 1:57 PM EST
Associated Press

NEW YORK — An infinite number of newly discovered monkeys trying to name themselves could have pounded on their keyboards a long time before coming up with this one: GoldenPalace.com.

The Internet casino paid $650,000 (U.S.) for the right to name the foot-high primate, on-line auction house CharityFolks.com announced Wednesday. GoldenPalace.com won a March 3 on-line auction that raised money to help manage Madidi National Park in Bolivia, where the species of titi monkey was discovered by a Wildlife Conservation Society scientist last year.

A statement from GoldenPalace.com CEO Richard Rowe suggested the company was looking for a publicity-generating investment more enduring than an item it paid $28,000 for in another on-line auction last year: a 10-year-old, partly eaten cheese sandwich thought to contain the image of the Virgin Mary.

"This species will bear our name for as long as it exists," Rowe said. "Hundreds, even thousands of years from now, the GoldenPalace.com Monkey will live to carry our name through the ages."

The GoldenPalace.com monkey, one of about 30 species of titi monkeys found in South America, has a golden crown and a white-tipped tail. Its formal name will be Callicebus aureipalatii — Latin for "golden palace."

Scientific staff at the Wildlife Conservation Society believe the new name will comply with the rules of the International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature, according to Alison Power, a spokeswoman for the society.

She said the name would be included in a publication about the species in a scientific journal within the next few months.

The monkey name and the cheese sandwich aren't the only oddities in GoldenPalace.com's stable.

In December, the company bought a metal walking cane that once belonged to a 6-year-old boy's grandfather for $65,000. The boy's mother auctioned off the cane to ease her son's fears that his grandfather's ghost was haunting their home.
Greater Valia
17-04-2005, 04:17
I think I speak for all of us when I say, what the FUCK
Patra Caesar
17-04-2005, 04:19
I'm waiting for the day when I hear a newscaster tell me, "Today a troop of goldenplace.com monkeys attacked and killed a small child..."
Drewdat
17-04-2005, 04:20
Trust me, GV, you do.
Free Soviets
17-04-2005, 04:21
who needs employees taking their employers' names, we can just enshrine our logo right into the scientific names of entire species. max, i think you've just been one-upped.
Greater Valia
17-04-2005, 04:22
I'm waiting for the day when I hear a newscaster tell me, "Today a troop of goldenplace.com monkeys attacked and killed a small child..."
I think thats the least of GoldenPalace.com's worries. With spending all of this moeny on useless shit, I owuldnt be surprised if they go out of business within a year from the accumulation of crap bought by their marketing team, which is apparently on crack.

(I laughed really hard when I read your post. Funny shit.)
Free Soviets
17-04-2005, 04:25
what i'm waiting for is for them to fund nuclear physics research in the hopes of naming some new fundamental particle that makes up pretty much everything in the universe the goldenpalacedotcomon
Ernst_Rohm
17-04-2005, 04:26
the gold palace monkey wouldn't be so bad, but the .com just makes it assinine. if goldenpalace.com doesn't stop over paying for freaky crap i'm going to make it my lifes goal to steal their crap collection and destroy it, but to do it in such a way that it gives them no publicity. i won't kill the monkeys though, i like monkeys. i will however only refer to them by my own alternative name, The Ernst Rohm Stinky Ass Monkeys.
Greater Valia
17-04-2005, 04:29
On another note this makes me want to kill all of those monkeys so GoldenPalace.com will have lost a 650 k investment.
Ernst_Rohm
17-04-2005, 04:38
On another note this makes me want to kill all of those monkeys so GoldenPalace.com will have lost a 650 k investment.
hey... leave the Ernst Rohm Skinky Ass Monkeys alone you eco hating earth raper.
Demented Hamsters
17-04-2005, 04:52
Having a half-eaten sandwich, walking cane and small monkey is certainly making me want to go rushing to their website and waste all my money.
Please. Someone hold me back. I can barely control myself.



That aside, who else has spent hours thinking of real useless shit to flog off to these idiots? I'm waiting for it descend to the lowest possible level and them to buy a turd in the shape of Jesus Christ or someone else equally famous.
Patra Caesar
17-04-2005, 04:58
OMFG! I don't believe it! There's a picture of Elvis on my toast! Right, I'm off to eBay to try and flog this shit to goldenpalace.com

If they think a few ass monkeys are impressive, wait till they see what I have in the shed! :p