NationStates Jolt Archive

So let's assume, hypothetically, YOU are world dictator. What would you order your peons (in this particular instance, only specific NSers) to do?
I'll start:

Whispering Legs: 500 page essay on the good, useful things the UN has done, and why it is relevant in the context of the twentieth century.
Peechland: Agressively mock everybody, and do it in a way that really makes them feel bad.
Frangland: Repossess the belongings of anyone worth more than 1.5 million dollars, and bring them to me.
Stop Banning Me Mods: Henceforth, you may only make moderate, rational thoughts known, and may not express any opinion connected to the death or suffering of those who disagree with you. On pain of death. :D
Eutrusca: Give me advice on how I may enlarge my massive and corrupt government.

Maybe it's a dumb thread, but what the hell, eh?

Order all citizens to keep a framed picture of Gilbert Godfrey on their living room wall.

I'm undisputed totalitarian, authoritarian, absolutely unlimited world dictator?
First, last and only order: kill me.

Order all citizens to keep a framed picture of Gilbert Godfrey on their living room wall.

A talking framed picture of Gilbert Godfrey.

I'd order people to finish all my late Pre-Calculus Homework for me. ;)

But seriously, I'd ask the people to accept my resignation. I couldn't stand all the responsibility of ruling the world. Then I'd let my successor do whatever s/he wants.

Otherwise, I'd be a benevolent dictator, allowing people to do practically whatever they want within reason. A lot like Julius Caesar…

A list: Rule By Decree

1. Rebuild Rome in to a new Imperial capital. Adopt title of World Imperator and rule from a new Palatinate Palace. Reform the Praetorian Guard as my network of spies and enforcement. Maintain a large army proportionate to population.

2. Reinstate gladiator fights, legalize orgies and remove all strictures on sexual and personal behavior.

3. Revive the old religions of Greece and Rome. Become high priest of the cult of Pan.

4. Build a new Colloseum, and revive classical architecture along with

5. All political freedoms guaranteed, but my decree is law. No senate, elections, etc. There is a constitution, unchangeable save by a personally decreed world plebiscite.

That's all.

It wasn't a serious question!

all citizens are required to smoke a fat bowl of weed each day :)

maybe the world will chill out for once

A talking framed picture of Gilbert Godfrey.

And be insured with Aflack insurance so they'll be safe if injured at work.

It wasn't a serious question!

You dare question me? You are so castrated.

all ze preetty girls should get nekkid in tribioote to Pablo Ze Squirrel :D

Tear down all of the world's factories, power plants etc, detonate a mass-EMP and start again. Hehehe.....

Seriously, I'd order a halt of the exploitation of the world's rainforests to preserve what is left of the indegenous peoples there.

Reinstate gladitorial games for only serious convicts for which there was total undesputable conclusive evidence for, murderers and anyone who wishes to participate. Either that or something like Unreal Tournament.

Allow hard-working farmers in Africa to sell their goods everywhere for a fair price.

Give all my personal friends masses of wealth.

Pay some guy who knows what they're doing to do my job so I can go and have fun with my masses of wealth.

I'd command people to do crazy and pointless things for my own amusement.

My citizens to roll me a fat joint~!

I'd put together a government that actually works as intended for once, abdicate, and head over to the All-Inclusive Resort for Former World Dictators. And make the occasional capital-ship-sized prod into parliament on behalf of the AI and immortality lobbies.

The vast majority of human reasources would be devoted to space exploration and exploitation. Asteroid towing and mining, deep space probes, the science of terra-forming, cryogenics for travel to other solar systems, the militarization of space. . .heavy militarization against those anal probing bastards that jump the hillbillys all the time!

Spend months amassing the worlds greatest minds and have a conference discussing what we can do to improve the world.

Then, hold a summit between the leaders of many warring nations/regions and discuss ways we can solve our differences peacefully.

Levy a tax on most of the worlds occupants to provide proper care for proverty stricken nations.

Other nice stuff,

Before I die, hold free elections in all countries and make sure when the world returns back to normal, everything goes smoothly and peacefully and that proper, good leaders are appointed.

Spend two months allowing the experts of the world to give their advice on how to rule. Then, I'd ignore them all and rule my own way.

Men? The new slave class. Get used to building and hard labor.

Women? Dress code. Sexy clothes only, women who are overweight are executed. Certain eating disorders you also don't want to have, as if you do men will be able to boss you around.

10 idiots a day executed for the sheer fun of it.

Sexuality? Every type and almost all perversions legal.

Then, time to focus on space and taking this new empire to other planets.

All the girls to have sex with me.

And all the other guys to work the farm because I need food, and food gives me energy to work my harem.

Immeadatly make every national leader, while negotiating, be high.
That would solve so many problems. And instead of war, national leaders duke it out with pillows.

Gather the world's intellectual elite, the rulers, the thinkers and doers, the makers and shapers. I would task them with solving the world's problems. Then, when they were deep in debate I would introduce poison gas and wipe them all out.
Then the rest of us normal folks could go have a beer and not worry about crap so much.

I wouldn't do much. I'd rig all the popularity threads probably :D

So let's assume, hypothetically, YOU are world dictator. What would you order your peons (in this particular instance, only specific NSers) to do?


hmm, for everyone that speaks yopensa: taor utiw atyis. natar utiw ukrstana! xi utiw utiw!

to those that don't: learn yopensa!

for those that follow a monothiestic religion(or other similiar religions like neo-satanism(true satanism is good, as it's a nature religion)): be tortured for life.

Require Tink to be my Concubine!
Force all of my Provences to declare war on each other but they can only fight with Novelty Lolly Pops!

Novelty Lollies pops they can be quite dangerous someone could lose a tooth!

First i'd have huge monuments in my glory built everywhere with the grandest(not neccesarily the largest) my 1337 fortress of d00mx0r ph33r.They would also declare orders in my glorious booming voice and the gorund will shake and the lowly peopns will tremble in fear(and shakiness)

Then id turn the earth into a waste land and require a daily sacrifice of 1000 people a day at my temple/fortess(which would house the most powerful super computer ever).

There will also be eternal wars in which the earth is scarred forever but anyone caught within one kilometre of my fortress would be sacrifced additionally.

Then i would start to explore the universe and make earth into a giant warship which would have the power to destroy other planets BWA HA HA HA PH33R!!!!1111111!!!1!1!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 lol

So let's assume, hypothetically, YOU are world dictator. What would you order your peons (in this particular instance, only specific NSers) to do?
I'll start:

Whispering Legs: 500 page essay on the good, useful things the UN has done, and why it is relevant in the context of the twentieth century.
Peechland: Agressively mock everybody, and do it in a way that really makes them feel bad.
Frangland: Repossess the belongings of anyone worth more than 1.5 million dollars, and bring them to me.
Stop Banning Me Mods: Henceforth, you may only make moderate, rational thoughts known, and may not express any opinion connected to the death or suffering of those who disagree with you. On pain of death. :D
Eutrusca: Give me advice on how I may enlarge my massive and corrupt government.

Maybe it's a dumb thread, but what the hell, eh?
I have NO idea which NS'er to order around.... :(