NationStates Jolt Archive


our honest-to-god plan for taking over the world.

Pure Metal
13-04-2005, 19:19
well, after several joints today, our mate Rob came round for a bit. we got talking and have devised a plan for getting rich, turning the world communist, and becoming gods :D

note: this is not serious, so if you don't have a sense of humour, don't bother reading it. its not particularly funny, just some people without a GSOH might get offended or some crap :rolleyes:
oh and appreciation of cannabis culture may help...;)


Step 1:

I finish my degree here, then move to Amsterdam whereby I become a well-known regular at one of the more popular coffeeshops (hash-cafe's). Through Rob's management I become a local celebrity as 'that dude who's always in that coffeebar'.

Step 2:

If you've seen the movie Baseketball you'll understand what we're doing here ;)
Through local promotion deals, we work our way up to celebrity status. I do hash-judging in competitions, have my own special crop of personally cultivated weed (which costs a bomb), my own lines of smoking equipment (bongs, hookhas, pipes, vapourisers, etc), our own chain of "Huw's" branded coffeeshops. Our influence will spread accross the channel and Britian, according to a recent survey the country most poulation are the tolerant of cannabis use in Europe, will, under pressure, legalise marijuana in the UK. The rest of Europe, and then the world, will follow and always 'Huw's' brand coffeeshops are right in there setting up before the competiton. Rob and I become rich!

Step 3:
Get the world to smoke loads of weed. Kiosks at the corner of every street sell pre-rolled spliffs, weed becomes socially accepted, more people smoke but, importantly, the world chills out. no more crime, violence, little need for police, lots of fires though... but basically nobody would bother with crime or anything like that! Importantly, the world sits back and says: "woah, is this stress and crap everyone goes through really worth it? is this really progress?" and say "no." the world chills out.

Step 4:

Now very rich, and the world pretty much high all the time, things are tranquil and serene. the state has dwindled in some areas such as police and military funding, but grown in others, pushing towards a more socialised society (ever noticed most stoners are left??).
We come out one day and say, 'hey, lets try communism - it could work now', and people say "ok." There's no need for money anymore because you contribute to the whole. It works on the basis of everyone must contribute, say, 24 hours of labour in a week to their job. They can commit more time if they wish, and certain high-intensity & unpredictable jobs (such as medicine) will have to be flexible.
Music and the arts will be encouraged with regular festivals touring all over the world, with the biggest acts. There will be a giant, central server containing music that anybody can access for free. The people vote for which bands should be added to the server through online voting (ie. people can vote for their favourite underground band to be added to the central database) Remember that people are doing things for us because of the lovable celebrity Weed Master Huw ;)

Step 5:
Become Gods. By this time we'll be revered as Lenin or Washinton (or Lincoln) and will be granted the largest house, with whatever we want. Remember there is no money and people can have what they need for free (can't be bothered to exand on this right now... too lazy/stoned :D). We set up the Church of Huwism and ban all other churches. I'll be Pope Huw the I, representative of the Almighty Huw, of the Chruch Of Huw; Rob will be Arch-Angel Robbie; our mate Jimi will be Saint Jimi :cool:
We die revered for having changed the world - no more crime, violence, war, greed, a true direct democracy, and a more chilled out, pleasant way of life :)


Remember: The Weed is the Weapon of Revolution :D


------

ah crap reading through that it sounds a little like we're megalomaniacs.... its not intended that way. were were just loving the idea of being rulers of the world, smoking a few spliffs. waving out of the Papal balcony, with a bong in hand, smoke billowing out the doors... Just sitting in that coffeshop in Amsterdam for years, becoming the regular, becoming 'that guy who's always in that hash-bar', becoming revered celebrity, building a business emipre... while stoned as hell! going round on tour with all the festivals the state organises... heh, cool :cool:
Omnibenevolent Discord
14-04-2005, 14:54
YES! It's true! The color of world peace is Acapulco Gold! Why do you think THEY demonized it in the first place man? It's all about control, man! Free your mind, smoke some kind!
FairyTInkArisen
14-04-2005, 14:57
just make sure you always remember Huw, I loved you (and still do) before you were famous! ;)
The Plutonian Empire
14-04-2005, 15:02
note: this is not serious
w00t! :D

I cheer, because I AM serious about a world take over! :fluffle:
DemonLordEnigma
14-04-2005, 15:09
Meh. All of you jokers always ruin it for those of us serious about it.
The Plutonian Empire
14-04-2005, 15:13
Meh. All of you jokers always ruin it for those of us serious about it.
I'm inclined to agree. It sparks jealously within us, and diverts us from our plans, wasting our times and energies.
DemonLordEnigma
14-04-2005, 15:14
I'm inclined to agree. It sparks jealously within us, and diverts us from our plans, wasting our times and energies.

Plus, we can never get minions who take us seriously.
The Plutonian Empire
14-04-2005, 15:17
Plus, we can never get minions who take us seriously.
Well, earth is not the ONLY planet around. A lot of people often fail to realize that (at least, they seem to) when planning major dominations. Thus, I aim for all the Universe, not just Earth.
DemonLordEnigma
14-04-2005, 15:22
Well, earth is not the ONLY planet around. A lot of people often fail to realize that (at least, they seem to) when planning major dominations. Thus, I aim for all the Universe, not just Earth.

Meh. I'm just happy with one planet.

How about we make an alliance? I get Earth, you get the rest of the universe.
The Plutonian Empire
14-04-2005, 15:26
Meh. I'm just happy with one planet.

How about we make an alliance? I get Earth, you get the rest of the universe.
Done. You are now the Planetary governor. (or, Planetary Mayor, in the PE's case, 'cuz i rule my empire like a mayor rules a city in the sim cities, but with much more power, obviously :D)