NationStates Jolt Archive

yes. thats me. nation states' darling of the mortuary industry. ask me what you want. keep in mind that while gruesome questions are fine, ( will answer them in confines of my oath, and the law) mine is also a job that deals with death,tragedy loss, grieving families, and very sad,unfortuanate situations. i take those aspects of my job very seriously, and am trained in grief counseling, which i administer frequently.



and ,yes, i have asked the mods, and this does not fall under the "ask a" series that was banned last month. spammers will be ignored, or be insulted and ridiculed beyond all reason. so behave yourself.

What do you do about riga mortis? What if someone dies all curled up in a ball or something. How do you straighten them out? Do you just break their arms and legs or something?

yes. thats me. nation states' darling of the mortuary industry. ask me what you want. keep in mind that while gruesome questions are fine, ( will answer them in confines of my oath, and the law) mine is also a job that deals with death,tragedy loss, grieving families, and very sad,unfortuanate situations. i take those aspects of my job very seriously, and am trained in grief counseling, which i administer frequently.



and ,yes, i have asked the mods, and this does not fall under the "ask a" series that was banned last month. spammers will be ignored, or be insulted and ridiculed beyond all reason. so behave yourself.
Are you single?

Seriously though, how exactly are people enbalmed?

I'm sure you explained this to somebody yesterday but i was half asleep so i'll ask again (sorry), what kind of training/studying/qualifications type things do you need to get into your line of work?

I don't have a question, really, but even though this seems like an "ask a" thread, it is the best damn "ask a" thread ever on NS.

Are you single?

Seriously though, how exactly are people enbalmed?

Jesus, keep your dick in your pants. :rolleyes:

Jesus, keep your dick in your pants. :rolleyes:
They don't make pants big enough :(

Let's say it's winter, the ground's too frozen to dispose of my latest prostitute/victim, and I can't dispose of her in the ocean because my boat's sunk. How do I store the body until spring when the ground thaws without my home smelling like someone died in it?

What do you do about riga mortis? What if someone dies all curled up in a ball or something. How do you straighten them out? Do you just break their arms and legs or something?
happens often. rigor mortis sets in around the third day of death. the case (body) is laid out for an additional day, if possible, because it tends to ease up. i then give them limbs a workout by bending them, massaging them.....even using a rolling pin, to get the vascular components"circulating" again.

Let's say it's winter, the ground's too frozen to dispose of my latest prostitute/victim, and I can't dispose of her in the ocean because my boat's sunk. How do I store the body until spring when the ground thaws without my home smelling like someone died in it?
the freezer?

Do you use a buttplug very often, or are the case's bowels normally cleared out by the time you get them?

the freezer?
I have two, but they're too small to fit a whole body. Even if I cut it up.

Let's say it's winter, the ground's too frozen to dispose of my latest prostitute/victim, and I can't dispose of her in the ocean because my boat's sunk. How do I store the body until spring when the ground thaws without my home smelling like someone died in it?

Take her to a hog farm.

Let's say it's winter, the ground's too frozen to dispose of my latest prostitute/victim, and I can't dispose of her in the ocean because my boat's sunk. How do I store the body until spring when the ground thaws without my home smelling like someone died in it?
dumbass. you should have waited for a better season, or just move to california, like every other killer does. or you could buy a deep freeze.

happens often. rigor mortis sets in around the third day of death. the case (body) is laid out for an additional day, if possible, because it tends to ease up. i then give them limbs a workout by bending them, massaging them.....even using a rolling pin, to get the vascular components"circulating" again.

Ok, and this is a serious question:
What kind of rolling pin do you use? Wood, plastic, or metal?
Is it one of those fancy ones you can fill with hot (and I suppose cold) water?
Is it a special medical rolling pin, and has to be stored in a special case and be sterilzed often? Or do you take it home and cook with it (After washing of course)?

Really, now I want to know.

Oh, and another:
Is every body that comes through embalmed using the same procedure?

I have two, but they're too small to fit a whole body. Even if I cut it up.

If it's cold enough for the ground to freeze, you might as well put the body in your shed.

If it's cold enough for the ground to freeze, you might as well put the body in your shed.
Nice. Good answer.

Whats the worst case you ever worked on as far as extensive injury goes?

Have you ever worked on a case that made you cry?

how would you put back the body of someone who has been dismembered, and the family wants an irish style wake.... or would you even bother as they are probably not going to wake up?

not trying to be a dick, this just kind of intruiges me what with the limited time factor, full body display and errmmm no so contigous body

Exactly how did you get into this line of work? Is there anything you particularly enjoy about it?

Are you single?

Seriously though, how exactly are people enbalmed?
i will outline in general.

body arrives. undressed, then washed off with a germ killing fluid that smeels like coco nut. i swear.
then, the body is positioned for burial. i also set the facial fetaures at this time.

arterial embalming is basically achieved by draining the body fluid out of the jugular vein, and injecting embalming chemicals intot the caratoid artery.

then, i embalm the large cavitiies and organs with a canula (wand type thing) that injects the fluid. depending on if it is autopsied or not, i pack the chest, head, nose with cotton.

if it is a reconstruction , i do that at this point. the body is dressed, casketed, and makeup applied.

this was very very genral, so you can ask me any questions about any part of the process. also, if any one wants well wriiten links, let me know.
jolt is really bad today, and my wireless connection does not help.sorry for the slow response.

Do you ever cry uncontrollably for some of the deceased that you see? Or have you become emotionally numb to death?

Is it for a lack of personal intimacy that you don't break down if this is the case? On that note, if that is the case - do you ever worry that it would prevent you from greiving properly if someone that you had loved passed on?

and on a completely unrelated note, did you get that TG?

i will outline in general.

body arrives. undressed, then washed off with a germ killing fluid that smeels like coco nut. i swear.
then, the body is positioned for burial. i also set the facial fetaures at this time.

arterial embalming is basically achieved by draining the body fluid out of the jugular vein, and injecting embalming chemicals intot the caratoid artery.

then, i embalm the large cavitiies and organs with a canula (wand type thing) that injects the fluid. depending on if it is autopsied or not, i pack the chest, head, nose with cotton.

if it is a reconstruction , i do that at this point. the body is dressed, casketed, and makeup applied.

this was very very genral, so you can ask me any questions about any part of the process. also, if any one wants well wriiten links, let me know.
jolt is really bad today, and my wireless connection does not help.sorry for the slow response.
When you set the facial features, do they stay? Or do you use something to keep them frozen?

Do you ever get bodies that are decomposed to the point where the internal organs are just about liquefied and the body is bloated with gasses? What do you do in those situations?

I'm sure you explained this to somebody yesterday but i was half asleep so i'll ask again (sorry), what kind of training/studying/qualifications type things do you need to get into your line of work?
in the us, it varies by state. generally, it is a one or two year mortuary college program, and then a couple years working under another embalmer, to get your state license. you must go throught the same schooling, whether you want ot strictly embalm, direct funerals, or be a general mortician.

Jesus, keep your dick in your pants. :rolleyes:
i am a female. :p

I have two, but they're too small to fit a whole body. Even if I cut it up.
well you need to get one of those big chest freezers

Do you use a buttplug very often, or are the case's bowels normally cleared out by the time you get them?
all orifices are closed with different methiods. about 60 % of people shit themselves at death, in my experience. no matter if they do or not, there is a large screw that looks like this. (http://msprozac.zoovy.com/product/ORIPLUG) that is inserted, in the rectum. fun stuff, i tell you.

then, the body is positioned for burial. i also set the facial fetaures at this time.


Can I get my face set to look like the Joker?

in the us, it varies by state. generally, it is a one or two year mortuary college program, and then a couple years working under another embalmer, to get your state license. you must go throught the same schooling, whether you want ot strictly embalm, direct funerals, or be a general mortician.
is it a difficult program to get into, like is it popular?

I have two, but they're too small to fit a whole body. Even if I cut it up.
you shouldnt be killing fat girls. its very very inconvient. hope you learned your lesson.

all orifices are closed with different methiods. about 60 % of people shit themselves at death, in my experience. no matter if they do or not, there is a large screw that looks like this. (http://msprozac.zoovy.com/product/ORIPLUG) that is inserted, in the rectum. fun stuff, i tell you.

Do you ever glue (or better yet, sew) their assholes shut?

Hmmm...

To restate ITG's question, because now I want to know as well, and this formulation may get a better response:
1) Is the common detective/horror story image of the deseased releasing their bowels true?
2) If so, who cleans that up - the hospital or whatever medical facility gets the body before you, or do you have to do it?
3) If not, do you have to clear the bowels or do you use a plug?


Are bodies embalmed differently for burial and for cremation?

you shouldnt be killing fat girls. its very very inconvient. hope you learned your lesson.
Why is it that when I say prostitutes people always assume female?

Ok, and this is a serious question:
What kind of rolling pin do you use? Wood, plastic, or metal?
Is it one of those fancy ones you can fill with hot (and I suppose cold) water?
Is it a special medical rolling pin, and has to be stored in a special case and be sterilzed often? Or do you take it home and cook with it (After washing of course)?

Really, now I want to know.

Oh, and another:
Is every body that comes through embalmed using the same procedure?
well,i had a wood one for along time, and covered it in plastic wrap to make disinfection easier. but i got a stainless steel one for my birthday from my parents. i swear.

and all processes are basically the same. there are variations here and there, and every person requires a different chemical mixture due to skin tones, and attaining a healthy appearance. chemo patients are very difficult, as chemical reactions tend to turn them green.very green. but i am good at that too.
also, some people arent chemically embalmed. they just get cosmetized. thats due to a family memberwishes, or religion

Do you ever glue (or better yet, sew) their assholes shut?

You certainly seem to have a lot of ass questions today......


but yeah Occy, do you?

Whats the worst case you ever worked on as far as extensive injury goes?

Have you ever worked on a case that made you cry?
theworst case i ever worked on,as in reconstruction was a 24 yr old kid who had his head run over by a peice of heavy equipment. i tried the best i could, but his parents still had a closed casket.
i have gotten ver very very depressed , one time. i have cried about , maybe 20 times, in 9 years. but the hardest one was a kid who took his suburban out to the desert, offroading, with 7 other guys in it. they had been drinking, and went out at night. the sober owner of the truck was driving, and flipped the truck. no one else was wearing a seatbelt and they all died but him. they were all close childhood friends, and were all brought to my mortuary at the time, to have a large, en mass funeral that the whole high school was going to. i was going to have help, but when i initially arrived at the prep room, and there were these seven tables, seven sheets, i felt pretty bad. but then, having un shrouded them, looking at this group of handsome, bright, young guys, who would never have anything else in life, because they were dead. it became overwhelming. thinking about proms that never happened, fraternity parties ever attended,bags of dirty laundry never brought home for mom to wash on spring break, no weddings, etc-. what was worse, is only two of the kids had extensive external injuries, the rest were mostly internal, and gave the odd thought that they had gotten into a rough and tumble fight, the way boys do, and somehow just were sleeping. that was by far the most difficult, and arduous task i have ever gone through yet. i stayed home for 2 weeks. it touched off a deep depression that i did not think i had possessed prior, and ended up moving to norway for 2 years following.

how would you put back the body of someone who has been dismembered, and the family wants an irish style wake.... or would you even bother as they are probably not going to wake up?

not trying to be a dick, this just kind of intruiges me what with the limited time factor, full body display and errmmm no so contigous body
havent had any total dimemberments. but my guess is , if they were not too decomposed, sew them back together,it wouldnt be that difficult. time factor is about 8 days after death. maybe 14 days tops. inside of that time, i can fix anyyone up, for viewing. there aremany unforseeable factors, like environment, temperature, weight,m etc, that figure into decomposition rates.

Exactly how did you get into this line of work? Is there anything you particularly enjoy about it?

wanted to do it since i was 7. i ,like everything about it, its challenging, interesting, good pay, and i meet all kinds of people..

Do you ever cry uncontrollably for some of the deceased that you see? Or have you become emotionally numb to death?

Is it for a lack of personal intimacy that you don't break down if this is the case? On that note, if that is the case - do you ever worry that it would prevent you from greiving properly if someone that you had loved passed on?

and on a completely unrelated note, did you get that TG?
got it.and cant wait. hopefully , next week will be a slower pace.

i think i just answered the crying ?
i ahve had a lot of people die. and i have to say, i get just as sad. i wont embalm any one i know though. i did that recently, and still havent recovered fully.

wanted to do it since i was 7. i ,like everything about it, its challenging, interesting, good pay, and i meet all kinds of people..

You are much more brave than I could ever be, and I want to go into freakin space.

got it.and cant wait. hopefully , next week will be a slower pace.

i think i just answered the crying ?
i ahve had a lot of people die. and i have to say, i get just as sad. i wont embalm any one i know though. i did that recently, and still havent recovered fully.
Im glad you got the TG, I cant wait either. :)

About the last bit though, Im sorry to hear that Occy! :(

*HUGGLES*

Im here for you whenever you need me.

When you set the facial features, do they stay? Or do you use something to keep them frozen?
the eyes are glues shut. first weighted though, with these caps. the mouth loks bad when you glue it, IMHO. so i do the old technique- sew it shut throught the nostrils , pasing thethread between the roof of the mouth, and the exit point for the needle on the underneath of the chin. you tie the knot there, and cut off excess thread. you fill the little hole that is left with wax. once those two things are done, the rest of the facial muscles tend to relax.

Do you ever get bodies that are decomposed to the point where the internal organs are just about liquefied and the body is bloated with gasses? What do you do in those situations?
still inject them with embalming fluid for safety sake, then seal them shut in a plastic bag.. we can counteract bloat, sometimes, with a pressure suit that is basically saran wrap- tightly adminstered. if their head ios rotted- forget it. they get get a closed casket.

Can I get my face set to look like the Joker?
hahahha. afetr i sit on it for a while.


that was bad.


no, brad, you cannot.

however, i , 7 times, have applied "unnatural makeup" for burial.
1 metal head , in corpse paint, and 6 clowns.

is it a difficult program to get into, like is it popular?
with upcoming demise of the huge baby boomer generation- there is a huge recruitment going on in the states. it s not hard to getr into at all. but its rigorous course work, and lots drop out. theschool here gets a lot of goths saying" ooh , i am going to be an ambalmer!! i love death" and then they drop out because of grades, or they had different ideas about what is exp[ected of you at first.when i first got into it, i couldnt wear my own clothes. no oone at my first job knew that i was tattooed. most people have to maintain an extrememly professional appearance, you are dealing with grieving families. but now i work as a trade embalmer, and handle mostly difficult cases. i work on call for the most part, and at several mortuaries.i rarely leave the prep room, but when i do, its back to the suit, and all.

Do you ever glue (or better yet, sew) their assholes shut?
no. but i heard you do. and its unhealthy.

all questions answered, i think. keep them coming, and thanks everyone.

with upcoming demise of the huge baby boomer generation- there is a huge recruitment going on in the states. it s not hard to getr into at all. but its rigorous course work, and lots drop out. theschool here gets a lot of goths saying" ooh , i am going to be an ambalmer!! i love death" and then they drop out because of grades, or they had different ideas about what is exp[ected of you at first.when i first got into it, i couldnt wear my own clothes. no oone at my first job knew that i was tattooed. most people have to maintain an extrememly professional appearance, you are dealing with grieving families. but now i work as a trade embalmer, and handle mostly difficult cases. i work on call for the most part, and at several mortuaries.i rarely leave the prep room, but when i do, its back to the suit, and all.
well i'm not a big fan of coursework so i think i'll stick to patching people up when they're alive

some people arent chemically embalmed. they just get cosmetized. thats due to a family memberwishes, or religion

I guess that inadvertantly answers my question about whether you have to be embalmed.

I had heard a rumour that it was against the law not to embalm a body, even if it was to be cremated. I'm relieved to hear that is not true.

No Occy, thank you. :)

Next question, how accurate are television programs that show your type of work? are there any you would reccomend to get an idea of what you do?

still inject them with embalming fluid for safety sake, then seal them shut in a plastic bag.. we can counteract bloat, sometimes, with a pressure suit that is basically saran wrap- tightly adminstered. if their head ios rotted- forget it. they get get a closed casket.
So a body that's bloated and internally liquefied can get an open casket? Cool.

I guess that inadvertantly answers my question about whether you have to be embalmed.

I had heard a rumour that it was against the law not to embalm a body, even if it was to be cremated. I'm relieved to hear that is not true.
laws vary from state to state. country to country. here, i n california- if the funeral is with in 72 hours of the medical examiner declaring death- you dont have to. the reason is for pathogen control, i guess. but i will confess, we got in a hassidic jewish man, 5 days after death, i would not embalm him. i knew it would truly upset him, and his family. i was also fired for that. oh fucking weell.

So a body that's bloated and internally liquefied can get an open casket? Cool.
liquefaction comes after bloating. days and days after. so, no. but gas distention, i can work with. your skin doesnt stay intact if your innards are that far gone.

liquefaction comes after bloating. days and days after. so, no. but gas distention, i can work with. your skin doesnt stay intact if your innards are that far gone.
Oh, ok. Thanks.

No Occy, thank you. :)

Next question, how accurate are television programs that show your type of work? are there any you would reccomend to get an idea of what you do?
i dont have a television, so iwouldnot know. i know there is a reality show out,the family plots, and people i work with say its off, in a way, because we arent that rude, but dead on, because we are that stressed, and funny. www. blue lips. com has some excellent dvds for sale.

do they really put the clothes on the body? Someone told me they cut a slit down the back of the shirt or dress and just put it on like a smock that opens in the back. Then they tuck the loose parts in...is that right or was I lied to?

do they really put the clothes on the body? Someone told me they cut a slit down the back of the shirt or dress and just put it on like a smock that opens in the back. Then they tuck the loose parts in...is that right or was I lied to?
they were right. uless you get the guy that had to be painted in purple body paint. (los angeles, full of freaks) or the girl with huge implants that decided to rupture during the funeral, that was bad. now, all women with implants, i wrap in plastic wrap under theirclothes.

laws vary from state to state. country to country. here, i n california- if the funeral is with in 72 hours of the medical examiner declaring death- you dont have to. the reason is for pathogen control, i guess. but i will confess, we got in a hassidic jewish man, 5 days after death, i would not embalm him. i knew it would truly upset him, and his family. i was also fired for that. oh fucking weell.

I'm sorry to hear you were fired for that, but kudos to you for standing up for him!

Personally, I would not want to be embalmed or reconstructed as I want my funeral to have as little financial impact on my family as possible (no offense to your leet mortician's skillz ;) ).

If I offer myself up as an organ donor, with the rest of my remains to be used for scientific research, can they get away with not paying for anything funeral related (except whatever memorial service they voluntarily choose)?

I'm sorry to hear you were fired for that, but kudos to you for standing up for him!

Personally, I would not want to be embalmed or reconstructed as I want my funeral to have as little financial impact on my family as possible (no offense to your leet mortician's skillz ;) ).

If I offer myself up as an organ donor, with the rest of my remains to be used for scientific research, can they get away with not paying for anything funeral related (except whatever memorial service they voluntarily choose)? exactly how it works. and no offense taken. i am donating my body to the plastination institute.

i cannot believe no one has asked the penis question yet.

we tape it to the upper thigh.

i cannot believe no one has asked the penis question yet.

we tape it to the upper thigh.
Why do you have to tape it at all? It's not like the guy's going to get a hard-on in the casket.

Why do you have to tape it at all? It's not like the guy's going to get a hard-on in the casket.

lol...I cant wait to see her response to that.

Why do you have to tape it at all? It's not like the guy's going to get a hard-on in the casket.
have you checked the pic thread? if you had a broad like me, with her cleavage all up in your face, massaging your limbs, and bathing you- you would get a hard on, even dead.

i cannot believe no one has asked the penis question yet.

we tape it to the upper thigh.
on that note, what was the biggest penis you've ever taped to a thigh, alive or dead (we all know what you're into)?

So, when my dad died last year, at the hospital- his face....actually the veins in his face were purple and black and kind of spread out like a big spider web. In the casket....his face was clear as a bell. Does the embalming fluid flush all the blood, even from the tiny veins and vessels out of the skin? I know make up couldnt have covered up the discoloration of his face that well is why i ask.

Why do you have to tape it at all? It's not like the guy's going to get a hard-on in the casket.
and during the arterail emblaming process, the vascular system of the penis actually can hold up to 8 ounces of fluid :) too bad thats not how much comes out when you are alive. anyhow, not only can you have an erection type thing- it can also........you know.........leak.

on that note, what was the biggest penis you've ever taped to a thigh, alive or dead (we all know what you're into)?
hahhaha. there have been some at both ends of the spectrum,and no, we
dont measure., there was this little balding fat guy once, with a huge one. like a muffin, on top of a coke can. christ.

So, when my dad died last year, at the hospital- his face....actually the veins in his face were purple and black and kind of spread out like a big spider web. In the casket....his face was clear as a bell. Does the embalming fluid flush all the blood, even from the tiny veins and vessels out of the skin? I know make up couldnt have covered up the discoloration of his face that well is why i ask.
its both. a combination of both. and a patient embalmer. he had a heart attack?

lol...I cant wait to see her response to that.
yeah. he is probally jacking off as we speak ;)

hahhaha. there have been some at both ends of the spectrum,and no, we
dont measure., there was this little balding fat guy once, with a huge one. like a muffin, on top of a coke can. christ.

splendid.....I was eating a blueberry muffin and for kicks, I just put it on top of my Coke can. Christ is right.... :eek:

splendid.....I was eating a blueberry muffin and for kicks, I just put it on top of my Coke can. Christ is right.... :eek:
i need to go find a muffin now

i dont have a television, so iwouldnot know. i know there is a reality show out,the family plots, and people i work with say its off, in a way, because we arent that rude, but dead on, because we are that stressed, and funny. www. blue lips. com has some excellent dvds for sale.
You and me both sweetie. I gave my television away to my sister since I wasn't really watching it anyway. Now I just spend what little amount of time I would have spent watching TV at home online. (and as you can tell, most of my day at work is spent here to give me a break and keep my sanity).

Ahh... the television-less lives we lead. I havent seen a televison program in over eight months.

its both. a combination of both. and a patient embalmer. he had a heart attack?


yes, and they said his heart ruptured in the process. He was obese, had diabetes, renal failure, two strokes, partially paralyzed and has 5 amputaion surgeries...toes, feet, then both legs. He was on dyalisis 3 times a week and they said that his heart just couldnt take anymore of that since its so stressful on the body. He was extremely ill....he's better off dead.

hahhaha. there have been some at both ends of the spectrum,and no, we
dont measure., there was this little balding fat guy once, with a huge one. like a muffin, on top of a coke can. christ.
Jeezum crow!!!

*feels inadequate* :(

hahhaha. there have been some at both ends of the spectrum,and no, we
dont measure., there was this little balding fat guy once, with a huge one. like a muffin, on top of a coke can. christ.
two follow up questions. question the first:
jesus christ! flacid?
question the second:
have you ever....you know.....with the thing....and yer thing.....you know?

have you checked the pic thread? if you had a broad like me, with her cleavage all up in your face, massaging your limbs, and bathing you- you would get a hard on, even dead.

Or sitting on your face.

Why can't I get a Joker face if someone can get clown paint?

I haven't read all through this thread, so sorry if this has already been asked, but what if the person drowned, and the body's all swollen with the water (I can't really explain what I mean, but you probably know - like Emmett Till was)? Do you leave it, or make them more normal size somehow, or does it depend?
Really original idea for a thread, btw Occ. Nice one :)

I haven't read all through this thread, so sorry if this has already been asked, but what if the person drowned, and the body's all swollen with the water (I can't really explain what I mean, but you probably know - like Emmett Till was)? Do you leave it, or make them more normal size somehow, or does it depend?
Really original idea for a thread, btw Occ. Nice one :)
thankyou. floaters, as they are called, are the worse. they have this fun condition called skin slippage. which is self explanatory. and we prop them up , at an angle, and most times the edema subsides. however, always a closed casket. the skin is like jello, and i cant sew that back on the face.

two follow up questions. question the first:
jesus christ! flacid?
question the second:
have you ever....you know.....with the thing....and yer thing.....you know?
two answers.
erect.
and no, no and no.

two answers.
erect.
and no, no and no.
well, i gotta say, i find both of those answers more than a little dissapointing.

Or sitting on your face.

Why can't I get a Joker face if someone can get clown paint?
thats interesting. i will be asking myold instructor that later this week. i have given little face lifts, and such, for saggy skin. so it would be possible. but, hhhmmmmm. ill get back to you on that.

well, i gotta say, i find both of those answers more than a little dissapointing.
thats only because you expect so much from me.

thats only because you expect so much from me.
yeah. but you so rarely dissapoint, which is why cases like this one are so much worse.

Suppose I wanted to be a ballchinian at my funeral...

Would it be possible for you to sew my scrotum to my chin?

Suppose I wanted to be a ballchinian at my funeral...

Would it be possible for you to sew my scrotum to my chin?


You dont have to be dead for her to do that you know.....

Suppose I wanted to be a ballchinian at my funeral...

Would it be possible for you to sew my scrotum to my chin?
as much as i would like to. well, it depends on what you look like- but anyhow, no. because we cant rearrange the natural order of body parts. i could glue a dildo into your hand, if you are in to that.

as much as i would like to. well, it depends on what you look like- but anyhow, no. because we cant rearrange the natural order of body parts. i could glue a dildo into your hand, if you are in to that.


hmm...

can I get one of your business cards Occy?

while i wait for drunk commies now defunct answer- i dont think it has ever taken him this long-

more than once a man has requested, or his "family" (even a few wives!!) to dree him in womens underwear, under his clothes.

as much as i would like to. well, it depends on what you look like- but anyhow, no. because we cant rearrange the natural order of body parts. i could glue a dildo into your hand, if you are in to that.

Ever had requests for "enhancements" for men or women (what they couldn't afford in real life, but their relatives want them to have in the hereafter)?

I'm not talking about hair color, or a minor face lift. Breasts and other equipment - that sort of thing.

Ever had requests for "enhancements" for men or women (what they couldn't afford in real life, but their relatives want them to have in the hereafter)?

I'm not talking about hair color, or a minor face lift. Breasts and other equipment - that sort of thing.
lots. we give extra padding for the ladies whenever the family requests, or to fix the appearance of the burial clothing, etc-

we get a lot of chin implants requests. it a no. and several (odd ) requests to have eyes open. thats just funny, to me. and the posing with grandpa in the casket, relatives standing next to it, smiling, is also a strange thing- but it often happens

lets say i wanted to have some animatronics installed in me so that i was upright behind the pulpit, doing the charleston all through my funeral. uhh, i forgot how i was planning to make it a question.

Have you ever found any "hidden" objects or thing that just shouldnt be on or in a case when you get them?

How about human taxidermy, is it possible or legal?

Now let's say somebody wanted to be in an eternal position eating pizza. How would you position them to look like they are enjoying the pizza? Would you preserve the slice of pizza as well?

I actually have two questions (apologies in advance for any repetition):

First, how long have you been in the business?

Second, in your time working in the funerary industry, have you ever had a problem with people sneaking in in order to er, well, do whatever necrophiliacs usually do?

I've heard stories and seen the occasional news report (hence Gov. Terminator making necrophilia illegal in CA) but I've never heard anything first-hand from someone in the business.

:D


http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/chris2000ta/Untitled-1.jpg

Guess I scared everyone off :(

lets say i wanted to have some animatronics installed in me so that i was upright behind the pulpit, doing the charleston all through my funeral. uhh, i forgot how i was planning to make it a question.
so then lets just say you need more sleep, more sharon, and less beer.

Have you ever found any "hidden" objects or thing that just shouldnt be on or in a case when you get them?
awesome question. lice. thats really bad, but thats why they are sprayed with germicidal soap, first thing.
tattoos. i have seen the coolest hidden tats on the most unsuspecting of people. that is always fun.
a guy with no testicles. as in castrated.
a lady with missing toes.
a baby bearded dargon in a kids pocket. that was sad. it had hid in there. he had leukemia. we gave it to his brother, but he wanted me to keep it. my best friend has it now.
i will think of more ina bit

Now let's say somebody wanted to be in an eternal position eating pizza. How would you position them to look like they are enjoying the pizza? Would you preserve the slice of pizza as well?
hahahahha. youcant embalm pizza. and unatural positioning is a huge undertaking, and requires a previously written will, and careful instructions that have already been gone over with the mortician by the decedent, before death. never had it though.

How about human taxidermy, is it possible or legal?
yes and yes. i dont do it though.

eh, dunno if this question has been asked before, but nothing too much anyway.

When you're learning to be an embalmer, do you do field work, actually working on bodies that will be given a funeral, or do you work solely on bodies that have been donated for that purpose, or to science, whatever?

so then lets just say you need more sleep, more sharon, and less beer.
actually, i haven't had a beer in a while. i could use some sharon. and after a good 6-10 hours of sharon, i usually feel like sleepin. good thing i see her in two days.

well i'm not a big fan of coursework so i think i'll stick to patching people up when they're aliveThen go and post in this thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=411157&page=1&pp=30) please!

Occy, has this changed how you feel about your own life? Lost that 'invulnerable' feeling?

Been talking to ambo's and they definately get to know death too.

I actually have two questions (apologies in advance for any repetition):

First, how long have you been in the business?

Second, in your time working in the funerary industry, have you ever had a problem with people sneaking in in order to er, well, do whatever necrophiliacs usually do?

I've heard stories and seen the occasional news report (hence Gov. Terminator making necrophilia illegal in CA) but I've never heard anything first-hand from someone in the business.
i have employed in the funeral industry for 9 years. that includes my 2 year apprenticeship.
necrophilia. a problem to be sure. but i havent witnessed anything like that. nowadays, most prep rooms in the los angeles area are under strict video surveilllance, due to the body part thefts. but it also is a deterrent to the freaks, as well.
we have had many people try to gain acess to prep rooms for an obvu=ious reason, but most are an auto lock door with a key pad entry. we have calledthe police for people trespassing in the cemetary , often with shovels, near fresh graves. so i know it does happen.

eh, dunno if this question has been asked before, but nothing too much anyway.

When you're learning to be an embalmer, do you do field work, actually working on bodies that will be given a funeral, or do you work solely on bodies that have been donated for that purpose, or to science, whatever?
okay. at school, you start with donated bodies. then during your apprenticeship, you work under a licensed professional for two years. you embalm for funerals at that time. some states/countries may be different. and hello jordy. all is going well, i assume :)

Then go and post in this thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=411157&page=1&pp=30) please!

Occy, has this changed how you feel about your own life? Lost that 'invulnerable' feeling?

Been talking to ambo's and they definately get to know death too.
i have always known how easy it is you can die. maybe thats what "led " me into the profession.

okay. at school, you start with donated bodies. then during your apprenticeship, you work under a licensed professional for two years. you embalm for funerals at that time. some states/countries may be different. and hello jordy. all is going well, i assume :)

Eventfully enough. I might send a telegram over, but my box is full and having to cut telegrams is like a knife I say... I should probably cart them over to a notepad document. (I'm a hoarder. Might be obsessive... definitely am. :D) so I'm trying to limit who I send to unless I have big news to limit the amount I have to delete to not have my oooooold telegrams (they're from you, by the way) autodeleted.

Wait. I'm sure I have another question. Lemme think of what it is.
oh yeah, quite simple. Is it easier to work on guys or girls, or is it the same?
(I must lack the appetite for gore that so many other people on this thread have. I feel left out.)

Eventfully enough. I might send a telegram over, but my box is full and having to cut telegrams is like a knife I say... I should probably cart them over to a notepad document. (I'm a hoarder. Might be obsessive... definitely am. :D) so I'm trying to limit who I send to unless I have big news to limit the amount I have to delete to not have my oooooold telegrams (they're from you, by the way) autodeleted.

Wait. I'm sure I have another question. Lemme think of what it is.
oh yeah, quite simple. Is it easier to work on guys or girls, or is it the same?
(I must lack the appetite for gore that so many other people on this thread have. I feel left out.)
you are never left out. hmmmm. when you talk reconstruction, sex of the decedent is not an issue, its the challenge. but normally, chicks are funner, because of their makeup. whats esp. cool is when a lady who doesnt normally wear cosmetics , gets a little glamour. families tend to cry. and it makes it easier for the husband , when she looks ssurprisingly beautiful in death.

and what you said, is touching. i know i am too busy , or just too demented to chat with my ns buddies lately- (*ahem!* nick, brad, bryce, matt) but i think of you often. and i dont mean that in acheesy way. email me! if you like- occidiomultus@yahoo.com.

I think this is kind of a lame question, but I wanna ask one any way.

If someone had multiple gunshot wounds, do you remove the bullets, or let them be?

I think this is kind of a lame question, but I wanna ask one any way.

If someone had multiple gunshot wounds, do you remove the bullets, or let them be?'take them out. the medical examiners office gets most of them, but we are always left with a few.

'take them out. the medical examiners office gets most of them, but we are always left with a few.
interesting, and thanks.

you are never left out. hmmmm. when you talk reconstruction, sex of the decedent is not an issue, its the challenge. but normally, chicks are funner, because of their makeup. whats esp. cool is when a lady who doesnt normally wear cosmetics , gets a little glamour. families tend to cry. and it makes it easier for the husband , when she looks ssurprisingly beautiful in death.

and what you said, is touching. i know i am too busy , or just too demented to chat with my ns buddies lately- (*ahem!* nick, brad, bryce, matt) but i think of you often. and i dont mean that in acheesy way. email me! if you like- occidiomultus@yahoo.com.

heh, thank you. I sent a telegram, by the way. I was hoping that guys would degrade or something faster than women and so would require more makeup or similar to make them look like they did. Mild irony like that amuses me.
I got no more questions though... I've got an hour train journey to make though. will probably think of some.

i have always known how easy it is you can die. maybe thats what "led " me into the profession.
ah. high profit margin. got it.
here's a question. as a mortician with an insane social life who works long long hours, why are you never online? :D

I should put this question here, in the thread it's specific to, instead of the other less specific one-
I'm not sure where I got the impression, but are you in California or from California (born and raised or transplanted, or live in California at all). Does an embalmer work with a specific agency, department, company or is it a seperate service? I guess I could find those out in the 'ask an embalmer' thread, now that I think about it.
Though I've read through and you are most certainly a Californian. Or at least live here. And from what I can gleen you are hired out to the various different places. Though I wasn't clear if they all had their own rooms that you went to or you had your own room and they came to you.

On the big dude with the big li'l dude-I bet that guy went through life unappreciated. Which leads me to a more serious question-how much do you know about the people you work on? How much do you fill in on your own, or do you avoid that? Are there things you discover about them when doing the work that lets you know more than you would have otherwise? You are the last intimate touch, the epilogue. Thats got to be something.

Kudos, too, on having the most noble getting fired story I've ever read.

ah. high profit margin. got it.
here's a question. as a mortician with an insane social life who works long long hours, why are you never online? :D
i have a wireless at work- so i walk back and check out NS a lot. you need something to do for 8-12 hours. i cant chat from it though- i feel rude not answereing for minutes at a time. also- my mind has been pretty manic lately, making focused conversation a near impossibility. but you know what? i may take two weeks off. and i will be catching up with you soon- i miss our talks. the insanity of my social life has gone. i go out on friday nights now, and thats it.

You know how lawyers are supposed to do a certain number of pro bono hours for poor customers or charities or things like that, Does the government ever ask you to embalm a hobo free of charge?

Right, with the forums having been UTTERLY fubar, and one or two of my telegrams having gone walkies, I just wanted to make doubleplus sure you got the one I sent you Occidio. Not asking you to answer it if you can't be bothered, just confirm it's sitting there all plumpus and round and wholesome, so I can go nuts at the server or let it live another day.

Right, with the forums having been UTTERLY fubar, and one or two of my telegrams having gone walkies, I just wanted to make doubleplus sure you got the one I sent you Occidio. Not asking you to answer it if you can't be bothered, just confirm it's sitting there all plumpus and round and wholesome, so I can go nuts at the server or let it live another day.
the forums don't affect the telegram system that much. i don't think jolt has anything to do with that. and linda, i shall be looking forward to it.

I should put this question here, in the thread it's specific to, instead of the other less specific one-

Though I've read through and you are most certainly a Californian. Or at least live here. And from what I can gleen you are hired out to the various different places. Though I wasn't clear if they all had their own rooms that you went to or you had your own room and they came to you.

On the big dude with the big li'l dude-I bet that guy went through life unappreciated. Which leads me to a more serious question-how much do you know about the people you work on? How much do you fill in on your own, or do you avoid that? Are there things you discover about them when doing the work that lets you know more than you would have otherwise? You are the last intimate touch, the epilogue. Thats got to be something.

Kudos, too, on having the most noble getting fired story I've ever read.
answered in the other thread, and i have questions for you , as well.

the guy with the huge penis had 11 people at his funeral. thats when i was a service attendant, as well. it was sad- but, then again, that thing was a weapon!! he probally hurt more than he helped ;) . actually, by what i could tell by what was said at the memorial service, he was gay, but not out of the closet.

i get a file with every body that i work on, i have to fill out the end of the pathology report. so i always know the name, age, place of birth, and details of the death. on reconstructions we meet with the family first, and after for the revealing. thats has been a cornerstone of my career,having met a lot of people. i get taken out to dinner a lot by appreciative families. people that are grieving always want to talk about their loved one, so thats a hint to anyone who feels awkward around a person that just had a death in the family. a family from mexico, whose mother we did for free, and i paid to ship her body back to mexico after the funeral service, because i know how important that is in that culture, made me little meals and left them at my front desk for weeks.
as a certified grief counselor, i have the training to deal with the loved ones, and help, if i can. because i am young, and "hip" (whatever that means) and tattooed and such, i get a lot of parents that have me talk to their teens in difficult situations. i have a lot of of kids that have kept up with me through the years, sent me pictures from college, etc. so thats very amazing, to not be forgotten. whats funny, in the death industry , the embalmer is the least paid, least respected person.even though we are the closest thing to the actual body. everyone is so focused on sales, and ripping people off in their time of need, and that bugs me. i will never leave the prep room,ever, to become a high commision "funeral director" or whatever. i cannot imagine suggesting to the parents of a dead 12 year old girl to "upgrade the casket" fucking christ. thats bad. my boss knows me, and does not charge embalming fees to eanyone who cannot afford it. we make enough money, as it is.

i discover a lot- see this post-http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8675987&postcount=101
tallying the contents of pockets can be strange, you find some odd things- like pictures of people, messages scrawled on the back that you cant understand, foreign coins, little good luck trinkets, grocery lists, receipts, etc.



we call the decedents in respectable terms- "sir smith" "mr jones" "lady donovan" "little miss hailey" "little dude joshua" and so on. it is the spirit of consideration. the only time i faultered on that one was the child rapist who was killed in jail. we called him "scumbag". and, yes, i embalmed him nicely, and didnt do anything strange. my boss watched me the entire time. we play a lot of music , (most of mine is OUTLAWED) so, i bring a cdwalkman with me.

You know how lawyers are supposed to do a certain number of pro bono hours for poor customers or charities or things like that, Does the government ever ask you to embalm a hobo free of charge?
we never charge for homeless people. california state has money to pay us for that, if the person qualifies. but i just dont charge. what the hell, you know, its one guy, who wont have anyone at his funeral, anyhow. if we get a homeless person, and cannot find any next of kin- we bring him to a certain funeral home that deals with state cases. we embalm them, put them in a loaner casket, and the employees of this particular mortuary get together and say a short memorial, even if we know nothing about them. the body is then cremated, put in an urn, and put in a special locker. there are over a thousand urns in there. sad. strangers can claim them after 7 years, which some old ladies do, and spread their ashes for them in a scattering garden that the cemetary has. every person has a right to a decent death, and the best people in the business know this, and follow that rule.

Right, with the forums having been UTTERLY fubar, and one or two of my telegrams having gone walkies, I just wanted to make doubleplus sure you got the one I sent you Occidio. Not asking you to answer it if you can't be bothered, just confirm it's sitting there all plumpus and round and wholesome, so I can go nuts at the server or let it live another day.
recieved. :)

I remember hearing news stories about how funeral home directors were giving access to fresh bodies to necrophiliacs (these stories crop up now and then).

Have any of these crazies ever approached you for such a thing?

I remember hearing news stories about how funeral home directors were giving access to fresh bodies to necrophiliacs (these stories crop up now and then).

Have any of these crazies ever approached you for such a thing?
nope. but you hear about it- then again, there is a lot of bullshitters in the trade as well. tonight i wil try and post some of the craziest real stories of the trade. it may take a bit to find the links. but there is some crazy stuff.

(apologies if this has been asked and I missed it whilst reading through the thread)

Has (and if so how) your job had an effect on your views on death, both death in general and your own death?

i need to go find a muffin now

*changes his name to Muffin*

Occy, did you ever find weird tattoo's in weirder areas?

*changes his name to Muffin*

Occy, did you ever find weird tattoo's in weirder areas?
hhmmm. the strangest , i feel that i found, was a man, who had died of a heart attack, mid forties i think, who had a tat on his butt that was of the mona lisa, but with a moustache. odd indeed.

(apologies if this has been asked and I missed it whilst reading through the thread)

Has (and if so how) your job had an effect on your views on death, both death in general and your own death?
makes me think its really stupid for people not to enjoy every minute of life. my death? i hope i know its coming, so i can make some really funny jokes. i am not scared of death, though, and i have tried to really live a fullfilled life, knowing it could end at any minute.

hhmmm. the strangest , i feel that i found, was a man, who had died of a heart attack, mid forties i think, who had a tat on his butt that was of the mona lisa, but with a moustache. odd indeed.


Is there any particular type of post-death (or the cause of death) disfigurement that is particularly hard to get rid of? Or, what is the most difficult disfigurement to conceal/remove?

I'm being terribly vague here... can't quite think of how to explain it better, heh.

(i think i know the answer to this already)
how many times have you had sex in the prep room?

How much to you get payed / charge for process. And do special request cost extra.

Kudos, too, on having the most noble getting fired story I've ever read.it was the first time i did something right, with no thought process behind it. proved that apparently, i am indeed a human.

it was the first time i did something right, with no thought process behind it. proved that apparently, i am indeed a human.
Thats always a fun thing to find out about yourself.
Beats finding out your a marmot.

You had that shipping bodies back probono stuff, too. I don't get to do any good 'standing on principles' things in my work. I have no test. For all I know I'm a marmot...

I think it's interesting that you become a begining for some of the people-the kids you said that kept in touch. What do they tell you? Are you a confessor? Just someone who won't judge them? An advisor? That transition is fascinating. Is it common, do a lot of embalmers end up doing that sort of thing? Is that something that is ever represented? (I haven't seen many embalmers in media-I've seen Quincy, the crime solving coroner...but thats really just a sad statement on how much tv I watch...)

I have some questions.

1. Have you ever had any complaints by the family of the deceased about your work before? Any real, serious complaints?

2. What's the weirdest way any of your cases have died?

3. Will you do my body when I die? (I mean that in a non-sexual way; I just couldn't think of any other way to phrase it.)

Thats always a fun thing to find out about yourself.
Beats finding out your a marmot.

You had that shipping bodies back probono stuff, too. I don't get to do any good 'standing on principles' things in my work. I have no test. For all I know I'm a marmot...

I think it's interesting that you become a begining for some of the people-the kids you said that kept in touch. What do they tell you? Are you a confessor? Just someone who won't judge them? An advisor? That transition is fascinating. Is it common, do a lot of embalmers end up doing that sort of thing? Is that something that is ever represented? (I haven't seen many embalmers in media-I've seen Quincy, the crime solving coroner...but thats really just a sad statement on how much tv I watch...)
maybe, just maybe, you are a gerbil.
most of the kids that i talk to you is when aparent dies, or a sibling. also, friends dying. they tell me lots of stuff.....memories about the person, how depressed they are, that they are going to kill themselves, too. also, they come to the meeting before i embalm, and usually i can spot a deeply troubled kid. so i will say something like- you having any trouble? do you want to stick around , and see the chapel? and it opens things up. they also often have a lot of queries about the process. do most embalmers do this? hell no. most dont care enough, or just hand them over to the funeral director. but i feel like i am here,only one time, and i better be good at living. as for television- i havent owned one for eightyears. started dating a norwegian, and he convinced me there was better things to do.
and hello , by the way.

I have some questions.

1. Have you ever had any complaints by the family of the deceased about your work before? Any real, serious complaints?

2. What's the weirdest way any of your cases have died?

3. Will you do my body when I die? (I mean that in a non-sexual way; I just couldn't think of any other way to phrase it.)
1. never. once, a man thought i could have made his wife, who suffered for nine months on chemo and died of many cancers, a little better. but not any real complaints.

2. strangest way was my neighbor. i found him clad a peach lingerie thing, with his hand down the running garbage disposal.
strangest sad way- guy gets killed on a motorcycle. wife dies of heart attack when the police come to tell her. 5 kids. sad.

3.see this- http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8671479&postcount=21 does that answer it?

maybe, just maybe, you are a gerbil.
most of the kids that i talk to you is when aparent dies, or a sibling. also, friends dying. they tell me lots of stuff.....memories about the person, how depressed they are, that they are going to kill themselves, too. also, they come to the meeting before i embalm, and usually i can spot a deeply troubled kid. so i will say something like- you having any trouble? do you want to stick around , and see the chapel? and it opens things up. they also often have a lot of queries about the process. do most embalmers do this? hell no. most dont care enough, or just hand them over to the funeral director. but i feel like i am here,only one time, and i better be good at living. as for television- i havent owned one for eightyears. started dating a norwegian, and he convinced me there was better things to do.
and hello , by the way.
Heya, and I'm half norwegian. And half Irish. I can be dropped from a great distance and not break. But I'm not testing it. And I was raised by my television.

The actual current assumption is that I am a walrus. But thats another story for another thread...

How did you get started counseling the kids? You said that you where a certified grief consuler, did one come from the other (you became a grief counselor because of the kids, you started helping the kids because you where a grief counselor)?

Really, you're the only one who does that? Have you ever been interviewed for that, local newspapers tv shows, anything?

(i think i know the answer to this already)
how many times have you had sex in the prep room?
nicky, you son of a 2 bitches. hahahah. i hope you get that joke. and i hope it doesnt offend you too badly.

anyhow.i have never have had any type of intercourse with a body. what he is referring to in the above comment is how many times have i done it with a live person in the prep room. and it was four.. not four separate guys.

Heya, and I'm half norwegian. And half Irish. I can be dropped from a great distance and not break. But I'm not testing it. And I was raised by my television.

The actual current assumption is that I am a walrus. But thats another story for another thread...

How did you get started counseling the kids? You said that you where a certified grief consuler, did one come from the other (you became a grief counselor because of the kids, you started helping the kids because you where a grief counselor)?

Really, you're the only one who does that? Have you ever been interviewed for that, local newspapers tv shows, anything?
yay for the scandi in you. i knew there was an unexplained reason why i am drawn..............
walrus. good animal. what thread do i have to make to hear the story?

you have to get certified,not an actual license, when you are attending mortuary school. most of the selfish bastards just dont use it.the trade also has a 6 hour per year continued education requirement, and three of the hours must be counseling. there may be other funeral professionals that use their education the way they are supposed to, but i deal with large mortuaries, and even bigger assholes. and in the los angeles area, so go figure. interviewed? nope. and i wouldnt be. its nothing special, just part of the large scope of the job.

yay for the scandi in you. i knew there was an unexplained reason why i am drawn..............
It really just means that I'm fascinated by food with that 'taste' I heard so much about growing up.
walrus. good animal. what thread do i have to make to hear the story?
I guess 'ask NSers' or whatever thats called. I guess a 'Why the hell do people call you walrus, and for that matter if thats your nickname then why the hell didn't you name your country "Walrusistan, Walrustonia, Walrusia, etc.?" thread would be excessive. I guess I could really just type it here and now, but I want to get into this thing, cause it's fascinating-

you have to get certified,not an actual license, when you are attending mortuary school. most of the selfish bastards just dont use it.the trade also has a 6 hour per year continued education requirement, and three of the hours must be counseling. there may be other funeral professionals that use their education the way they are supposed to, but i deal with large mortuaries, and even bigger assholes. and in the los angeles area, so go figure.
Ah, SoCal-the shallow end of the pool. I think it makes it even more fascinating that they all have to go through it but none really use it. Theres commentary in that alone...
interviewed? nope. and i wouldnt be. its nothing special, just part of the large scope of the job.
If you're the only one doing it, thats special. If you've managed to get those kids through something as harsh as a loss, thats special. If those kids had a better life even kinda because they had someone extra to lean on, thats special. You're not getting paid anymore to do what you do, thats special (in todays world). And sometimes, even if it's 'just the job,' sometimes it's a special job. Every once in a while it's good to have a record of people that do something special, even if it's part of their job.

If you're the only one doing it, thats special. If you've managed to get those kids through something as harsh as a loss, thats special. If those kids had a better life even kinda because they had someone extra to lean on, thats special. You're not getting paid anymore to do what you do, thats special (in todays world). And sometimes, even if it's 'just the job,' sometimes it's a special job. Every once in a while it's good to have a record of people that do something special, even if it's part of their job.agreed ,. but iam just fullfilling my life purpose. i think the kids are more special, having survived serious losses.

agreed ,. but iam just fullfilling my life purpose. i think the kids are more special, having survived serious losses.
Do you think the kids would be interviewed? Maybe the older ones?

Once I get this enviro-tech diploma done ( Good for filling time because the Path. course was full ... ), I hope to go on and get one in Pathology, as I like the micro-bio / hema lab-work. Kind of consequently to that, I'm interested in the following ...

In your work-day, what kind of measures do you take against infection from pathogens / being over-took by fumes, etc, procedure and Personal Protective Equipment wise ? And have you ever had any close calls with those sort of things ? Or cases where handling and treating the remains is more dangerous then usual ?

They don't make pants big enough :(
Who thinks Arammanar has such a big ego he's compensating for something...
Jesus I hope your not a woman!!!

Do you think the kids would be interviewed? Maybe the older ones?
hmm. i could ask. i correspond with a with a few often. there is a mort college up north- the people going through school would be an awesome story. so would sone of the instructors, having been in the industry so long. i wll def. get back to you with this.

Once I get this enviro-tech diploma done ( Good for filling time because the Path. course was full ... ), I hope to go on and get one in Pathology, as I like the micro-bio / hema lab-work. Kind of consequently to that, I'm interested in the following ...

In your work-day, what kind of measures do you take against infection from pathogens / being over-took by fumes, etc, procedure and Personal Protective Equipment wise ? And have you ever had any close calls with those sort of things ? Or cases where handling and treating the remains is more dangerous then usual ?
the inhalation of chemicals is a daily thing.you get used to that. there are full gas masks you can wear, and have, when handling certain cases. i have dealt with a couple of cases of necrotizing fleshitis( flesh eating strep disease) thats the worst- so contagious. and many mnay, too many, AIDS cases. we use the guidlines for universal precaution every day- and also have hazardous materials gear whenever we feel neccesary.
close call? an apprentice i had was setting facial features of a lady with no gloves on.i just showed him thepathology report that she had HIV, and there was complete chaos that ensued. he was fine. i am obsessive compulsive about cleanliness, and germs,i even clean my house with rubbing alcohol- so no close calls for me.

Occy, I'm doing a "pre-hospital emergency care" course next weekend that includes: "Provide aftercare of a deceased patient"

Any pointers? :) Things that make your job easier/harder?

i.e. In sudden death situations outside of a hospital, what do the ambo's do that affects you?

I don't mean to be rude - and if you don't want to - but what is the pay like and what subjects did you take through school and university to get where you are? It sounds interesting and I might look into it more - art and science combined... whooo. Anywho, if you don't want to give figures, just give me a 'good', 'bad', 'excellent' etc... I would say you have a very specified, skilled job, so one would assume you would get high pay.

I admire your work with youngsters who are grieving. Where were you when we needed you? You are more rare and precious than you allow.

I've read this thread with great interest. Having covered the treatment of seepage from the anus and male genitalia you haven't mention the issue (2 points for a double emtendre) of the approach used with vaginal emissions. Is it similar to the butt screw?

I admire your work with youngsters who are grieving. Where were you when we needed you? You are more rare and precious than you allow.

I've read this thread with great interest. Having covered the treatment of seepage from the anus and male genitalia you haven't mention the issue (2 points for a double emtendre) of the approach used with vaginal emissions. Is it similar to the butt screw?
due the anatomocal function of the "femal,e organs" there are no arteries that connect to them, so arterial embalming does not cause the ssame situation with the penis. and thank you, by the way.