NationStates Jolt Archive

What is the most stupid thing you've ever heard someone say? Out of all your personal experiences or from different forms of media, what can you truly say is the most idiotic thing you've ever heard someone say?

What is the most stupid thing you've ever heard someone say? Out of all your personal experiences or from different forms of media, what can you truly say is the most idiotic thing you've ever heard someone say?
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
[then the entire network crashes.]

"lets split up"


or: walking out of Titanic: bunch of girls behind me and a friend "That was soooooooooooooo good. I hope they make a Titianic 2"

to which my friend responds "What, it sinks again?"

'Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.'

My little brother, on hearing that we might be moving to London:

"But I don't speak French!"

We were indeed rolling on the floor laughing

The only reason Jason Gillespie continued to bat was so he didnt have to face Micheal Clarke back in the pavillion!
Apparently the Media thought Gillespie had run out Clarke in actually fact Clarke ran himself out and point of XCricket is to get runs! ;)

"The New Zealand Cricket is hopeless" fine but then the whole world is except Aussie(actually we already knew that)-But if the 4th day of test and or the 3rd innings didnt exist NZ would have won or drawn its last 9 tests(excluding Bangladesh we whipped them :p )

Plenty more! ;)

The most stupid thing I've ever SEEN(not heard), would have to be President Bush being told the United States is under attack and just sitting there for 10 mins. Even I would know what to do in that situation, get my ass up and tell the children that I have some business to attend to and go monitor the situation and offer any quick-acting tactical plans to prevent other strikes.

By far that's the most dumb thing I've ever seen.

"AIDS is a sign from God that we have deviated from his was, and it will end if we return to Christian sexual morality..." Paraphrased from some Catholic on Insight last night...

Desk clerk: "Here is your key sir, you are in room 509."
Hotel guest: "Can I get there from here?"
Desk clerk: "I beg your pardon?"
Hotel guest: "Can I get to my hotel room from here?"

and a close 2nd...

Mom: "What's Kevin's last name?"
Me: "Kevin who?"

"lets split up"


or: walking out of Titanic: bunch of girls behind me and a friend "That was soooooooooooooo good. I hope they make a Titianic 2"

to which my friend responds "What, it sinks again?"
Got any new ones! :rolleyes:
I heard this on NS guy sees the Sistein....Cistien(GFod my spelling is awful)
Chappel and says is it!
IS that what!-exclaims another
Well where are the other 15-Sixteen Chappels. :p

I didnt know what LOL was until my 1016 post!!!-Its true-Mind you the way i posted(post) i got up to 1000 in like a Month!!!! ;)

I still dont know how to show a single Post!

Got any new ones! :rolleyes:
I heard this on NS guy sees the Sistein....Cistien(GFod my spelling is awful)
Chappel and says is it!
IS that what!-exclaims another
Well where are the other 15-Sixteen Chappels. :p

I didnt know what LOL was until my 1016 post!!!-Its true-Mind you the way i posted(post) i got up to 1000 in like a Month!!!! ;)

I still dont know how to show a single Post!
Hehe. I'll put you out of your misery. You click on the post number, which is in black on the right of the post...

"Bill Gates is great, he plays for manchester united."

Ahhhh a hallowed quote that I always remind my friend about. This was followed by utter silence in a room full of computer tech students.

Shortly following this was...

"They do play the Ryder Cup at the Millenium Stadium don't they?"

.... :(

"AIDS is a sign from God that we have deviated from his was, and it will end if we return to Christian sexual morality..." Paraphrased from some Catholic on Insight last night...

That's getting my vote.

Hmmm.....
"'Intelligent design' is a science." That one's pretty good.
"The grand canyon was caused by Noah's flood." *snigger*

Blessings
Lucrece

Hmmm.....
"'Intelligent design' is a science." That one's pretty good.
"The grand canyon was caused by Noah's flood." *snigger*

Blessings
Lucrece

Man, those are right up there with what Pri said!

"FIRST, CARRY TO FIRE."
- Instructions on a fire extinguisher

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole

Mom: "What's Kevin's last name?"
Me: "Kevin who?"

Now that's comedy.

riding home in the car with friends. One of them is gay (Ben), the other likes to say things that are pretty much just him being an ass (Mike), but that's his way.

Ben: I dunno, I'm just not attracted to women
Mike: I like assholes. . . wait. No! Not those assholes! Damnit!

back when i worked at the climbing wall, some kid came up to me holding a climbing harness. he asks me - and this is a direct quote - "is this real?"

what the hell kind of answer do you give that? "no billy, this is all just a dream"?

Here's a few of my favorites:

Once upon a day in the past, my brother was cleaning the glass doors that lead to the back patio. He was having trouble cleaning some parts of the door. I told him to use elbow grease. He literally went to the kitchen, looked under the sink where chemicals are kept and called out, "Where's the elbow grease?"

***********

At work at a local pizza shop, I hear, all too often from customers,

"What do you need my address for?"

or...another work-related favorite:

ME:"Thanks for calling <insert pizza store's name and location>, but I'm sorry we're closed."

CALLER: "Yeah, I'd like to order <insert random order of food>."

ME: "Sir/Ma'am, we're closed."

CALLER: "What? Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

***********

EDIT: Another favorite stupidity moment from work:

CALLER: "I'd like to order the All the Meats pizza. Does that come with vegetables?"

ME: *click*


I swear, sometimes, I just want to record the conversations, just for stupidity of customers, and replace the waiting song/message with it. Perhaps then, people can realize their stupidity. Or, perhaps, I'm just hoping too much.

What is the most stupid thing you've ever heard someone say? Out of all your personal experiences or from different forms of media, what can you truly say is the most idiotic thing you've ever heard someone say?

"Keith Moon was the Neil Pert of his day."

"Keith Moon was the Neil Pert of his day."

Damn, who said that one!?

my girlfriend was in a 5 hour car ride on the way back from visiting me at college. she was with three friends. the conversation had lapsed. out of the blue, and with no provocation, she said "I hope i'm not as stupid as i sound." jsut for the record, she isn't. not quite :D .

my brother:

'is it illegal to burgle someone's house'

'if you flew into the sun would you die?'

Damn, who said that one!?

My band's ex drummer. I'm the current one. See why they fired his ass? :D

From a CNN report during 1st Gulf war:
(A reporter is aking questions about a soldier's equipment.)
Reporter: And what are these? :::points to grenades:::
Soldier: Those are grenades for my grenade launcher.
Reporter: Oh. And what do they do?

Dai, I editted your last post to do away with that stupid smiley. I hope you don't mind :p

Dai, I editted your last post to do away with that stupid smiley. I hope you don't mind :p

Thanks. ;)

"But Hitler did win the war..."
Religion teachers can be such an ignorant lot.

Hehe. I'll put you out of your misery. You click on the post number, which is in black on the right of the post...
Ah i think i clicked on that once never used it thouugh thanks!

"Be assured. Baghdad is safe, protected."

"Be assured. Baghdad is safe, protected."

How about "The war in Iraq is over..."

"I forgot the name of that bartender"
Which one
"Simon"
:rolleyes:

How about "The war in Iraq is over..."

lol. Good one :p

"You're either with us, or against us." was really stupid, but it's hard to beat the king of Sweden, who, in his traditional Christmas radio speech went (somewhat loosely translated):

Speaking to all the disenfranchised: "You have to work for everything in life. There will be no fried sparrows flying into your mouths on their own."

Said he who did nothing, except for being born, to get to where he is. :rolleyes:

(a teacher pissed cause we we very loud in a hotel)
"And if anyone puts his door out of the nose...."
*laughter*
"Damn"

-------------------------------------

(a friend of mine . A drummer. So that explains a lot)
"You have to be open for new doors"
:confused:

And:
"All vegetarians are socialists but not every socialist is a vegetarian. Like every cow says 'Moo!', but not every moo says cow"
:confused:

There is no "I" in Team America.

"How do you spell 'Leo'?"
:rolleyes:

Here's some random gems said by people in my school.

Two 4th years were playing 'stop the bus' in registration one morning. They were on the letter 'J'.
1st Guy: What did you get for place?
2nd Guy: Jordan.
1st Guy: Jordan's not a place! It's a name!
2nd Guy: It IS a place! It's a... state. In America.
1st Guy: Well, you're not allowed states. You don't get any points for that.

In Modern Studies:
Teacher: blah blah blah in Los Angeles in the 90's.
Girl: Is that in L.A.?

In Biology:
Teacher: *talks for 30 minutes about a tiger being able to jump distances of 20 feet to hunt*
Girl: Why the hell would a tiger want to jump 20 feet in the air?
Teacher: *explains everything again*
Girl: Oh. Well, that's nothing. Athletes can jump twice that.

Girl 1: What are those things called, the ones that live at the bottom of the sea, in a shell?
Girl 2: Oysters? They're made of sand, you know.

potography teacher trying to explin a photomonatge involving Hitler
Well the french were feeling secire at the time beacuse the ahd the maginot line. Whch was a peace traty signed with Germany :rolleyes:

A common one for anyone whos worked on a checkout. Whenever something doesnt scan immediately you get the same responce "is it free then?" wow your realy funny never herd that one before

"Don't worry, it's not loaded."

i was in Romania with a group of guys, and one of them was thinking of getting some weed off some Romanian guys we had got talking to. then he comes off with "would i be able to take it home?"

What is the most stupid thing you've ever heard someone say? Out of all your personal experiences or from different forms of media, what can you truly say is the most idiotic thing you've ever heard someone say?

TODAY?This thread:

If your belly button never sealed shut, could you eat through your stomach?
Subterranean_Mole_Men

And...

After a co-worker, who's a smoker, wore my coat, I'm not a smoker. Me: "Are you gonna get it dry cleaned?"
co-worker: "Why?"... :rolleyes:

I've got three....

[My friend, in National Youth Parliament competition]

"Now look, I'm sure the Dutch royal family do a great job of ruling Denmark,"

[someone on a forum I'm on]

"I don't believe in science"

[my sister, lacking in brain cells as usual]

"Why are we talking about not having gone to Africa before? Morocco's in Europe, not Africa!"

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8690139&postcount=8
Hmm not as bad as me!
l learnt something new about NS i just cant remember it!

The most incredibly stupid thing I've ever heard was Bush saying in a speech about a month ago was:

"Do you realize that Senior Citizens have the highest death rate in the U.S?"

And he's our president. Makes you wonder about the general population...

Before I came to university, I worked at Tescos for a year. There was a sign up in the warehouse, saying, "Do not climb inside the waste compactor". I suppose it's good advice really, it's more the fact that people need to be told that worries me.

My Friend

" you know what I hate people who hate people."

Thats my fav

I heard it just yesterday.
"I'm thinking about switching into honors English because my teacher told me to." :)

"You're jealous of my faith"

On a Planters Mixed Nuts package: "Warning: contains peanuts and/or tree nuts."

On a package of soymilk: "Warning: contains soy ingredients."

On a package of grapefruit juice: "Ingredients: 100% Grapefruit Juice, water, sugar, grapefruit puree, selenium supplements, vitamin D, vitamin A…" and a partridge in a pear tree. ;)

On an essay that I didn't write: "Sumer and Egypt were similar because of the differences they had apart from each other." (It was a first draft.)

What is the most stupid thing you've ever heard someone say? Out of all your personal experiences or from different forms of media, what can you truly say is the most idiotic thing you've ever heard someone say?

These are both from the same girl

"I just figured out why the 80's are called the 80's... cause they're the 1980's "

and

When watching a youth group play with tins of tuna substituted for actual fish

"I didn't know they had tin's of tuna back then, wait a minute...?!"

I swear she has problems...

On a Planters Mixed Nuts package: "Warning: contains peanuts and/or tree nuts."

On a package of soymilk: "Warning: contains soy ingredients."

On a package of grapefruit juice: "Ingredients: 100% Grapefruit Juice, water, sugar, grapefruit puree, selenium supplements, vitamin D, vitamin A…" and a partridge in a pear tree. ;)


Another food one (this might have been said):

[on the bottom of an M&S tiramasu]

WARNING: Do not turn upside-down.

"It's probably not electrified. Touch it and see."

"Has anybody seen my pet cobra?"

"FOOD FIGHT!!!" -yelled during a church communion. Many were not amused.

"WHere the hell are Rick's clothes? He needs to buy more beer."
"They're in the outhouse hole" *laughter*
"Stupid fucker! He's the only one who can buy! Give him your pants!"

"If you pick up a skunk by the tail, it won't spray you."

"We're going off-roading. WHo wants to ride in the truck bed?"
Me: "I will!"

"What cleans tar off of skin?" -Me on the phone with a local hardware store.

What is the most stupid thing you've ever heard someone say? Out of all your personal experiences or from different forms of media, what can you truly say is the most idiotic thing you've ever heard someone say?
"Jane Fonda was just exercising her free speech when she happily posed with that North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun!"

"John Kerry really was in Cambodia on Christmas Eve!"

*after an already long conversation about knowing stuff*

Daniel: "What if you didn't know that you knew?"
Me:"You can't know that you don't know because then you wouldn't know that you didn't know what not to know in the first place!"

I'm still trying to work out whether that makes any sense.

"President Bush has won his re-election"

Did you happen to know that 1/3 of all Americans flush the toilet when they're still sitting on it?

"If it wasn't for that horse I would never had spent those years in college."

Lewis Black

"If it wasn't for my horse I would never had spent that year in college."

Lewis Black

YAY! :D

(P.S. Slightly corrected the quote)