NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm listening to a conversation right now, and I have to say I'm rathered ashamed of the direction its turning.

Let's paraphrase from where it started turning wrong...
My dad starts talking to his girlfriends daughter, and asks about one of her friends. It turns out one of her friends big sisters used to take drugs (I didn't hear what, not important.) Anyway, this girl has been clean for a while now, and it was recommended that his girlfriends daughter immediately stay away from the ex-addict.
"She'll never be clean. Even if she's stopped taking them,she'll never be clean."
"She'll always be stigmatised, you should give her a wide berth"

The tone of the conversation continued like this for about 10 minutes, like that, back and forth.
Personally, I think it's quite sad that it turned out like that, that both my dad and his girlfriend are so prejudiced. They don't know the girl, and despite the fact she's evidently turned herself around, she's still scum to their eyes. I just wanted to know what people thought about that. Do you agree with their decision to "be wary round that girl" and considering not allowing to go to her friends house?

Since she's not still using, I can't see a problem. In fact, it could be sort of an advantage. Your dad's girlfriend's daughter (did I get that right?) will learn from passed on experiences that addictive drugs can be incredibly damaging. Sort of like a drugs talk she'll listen to (I know I never listened to any that I ever got).

I agree with Tribes. I'm an ex-addict too. (yes, I include alcoholism as an addiction) I don't think I'm a bad person, mother, friend, citizen...and most people who know me would agree. Plus, I know a hell of a lot more about addiction and can give the gruesome details much better than any damn AADAC commercial can. Trying to 'avoid' the problem NEVER works. What a way to pull out this other girl's support system from under her too...make sure her friends abandon her. That'll do her a lot of good.

Since she's not still using, I can't see a problem. In fact, it could be sort of an advantage. Your dad's girlfriend's daughter (did I get that right?) will learn from passed on experiences that addictive drugs can be incredibly damaging. Sort of like a drugs talk she'll listen to (I know I never listened to any that I ever got).

Indeed. It's more than that, however. Throughout the conversation (you got the relation right) they seemed keen to impress that throughout this girls life, she'll contstantly be looking for her next high, or whatever, and that if anyone offered her any drugs, she'd be onto them like a shot. Basically, what they were saying is, from now on, this girl has no integrity or restraint, and never will have.

I haven't been sober any night this month. I was sober about 4-5 nights last month. No one can tell me from a fine upstanding young man.

What a way to pull out this other girl's support system from under her too...make sure her friends abandon her. That'll do her a lot of good.


I hadn't thought of that, actually. I doubt it crossed the minds of anyone else in the room, either. I just found it quite pathetic that they were saying also, that due to the stigma of being an addict, she should stay away from her.... nice way to contribute to that stigma, by suggesting that everybody avoid her. I don't think they realised that, either.

oh, it gets sweeter! apparently, my (complex relation here) dads girlfriends daughters friend is also less than trustworthy because she is the younger sister of the addict!

This is some true gold.
"You can't judge someone based on what somebody else is or was."
"Sorry dear, yes you can."

What a tolerant, chance giving world in which we live.

oh, it gets sweeter! apparently, my (complex relation here) dads girlfriends daughters friend is also less than trustworthy because she is the younger sister of the addict!

This is some true gold.
"You can't judge someone based on what somebody else is or was."
"Sorry dear, yes you can."

What a tolerant, chance giving world in which we live.
Heh. I just got a vision of two adults telling a girl that you can catch addiction by verbal contact.

I'm sorry, there is possibly stuff not getting across here, but I just get the image of these two intolerant imbeciles, spouting forth rubbish based on fiction. Do they have personal experience of ex-addicts, or do they base their decisions on Media exagerration and bullshit propaganda? Would they say the same about an ex-smoker? Or ex-alcoholic?

maybe he is trying to parent, and is just in an awkward position. he also in no way wants to have HIS kid doing drugs. i think parents should instruct their kids on making stronge choices. if you have a kid who makes good decisions, then they should be able to hang out with the druggie. perhaps they can help or influence her. i think it depends on the situation. however- when you have a kid, it is the placenta that pops out of the vagina after the kid, not an instruction manual, if you get my hint. parent never know what the hell they are doing or saying until the 13th or 14 th kid. ;)

Ah... Well, ToL, there is one or two bits not getting across. At least one of them (my dad) has and had experience of drugs, alcohol and stronger, still continues with a few of the "lighter" ones to this day (I'm a passive teetotaler. I don't drink anything stronger than coffee, but I don't go on a crusade against someone who chooses to.) So his experience is personal, but it is also intolerant. Part personal experience, part 50's poppa.

The other I barely know, and will refrain from commenting on.
Occidio, it's a little like that, but it's hugely heavy handed and intolerant. More intolerance than concern is what I'm getting across.

Some people like to keep a holier than thou attitude. It helps them drown out the regret and shame of things they themselves have done, or left undone. People who were addicted to drugs and have cleaned up have done something that requires alot of willpower and strength. More than most people have.

Stigmata! I love that movie!

Stigmata is a great movie!