NationStates Jolt Archive

What would you do, hmm?

A whole lot of women.

Damn, I should've added "get really, really drunk\high" as one of the options. Oh well. I'm sure there'll be others I forgot, too.

Any of you read the zombie survival guide? I forgot who wrote it. Quite entertaining. Has tips like, "Machetes don't need reloading".

Underground bunkers don't work, just watch Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD.

Any of you read the zombie survival guide? I forgot who wrote it. Quite entertaining. Has tips like, "Machetes don't need reloading".

Underground bunkers don't work, just watch Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD.
They do if you know what you're doing. Let's see the zombies get me in my bunker in the Mariana Trench.

Flesh eating zombies can usually see heat, but in Alaska I have little worries. Why? because Although they are heat-tracking, its hard to discern a bear, a water boiler, a hot house, and a human. I realize it would be better if I was in Florida where everything is hot. But here, every zombie's gonna have to check out every single hot object. Our military bases would cooperate with the civilians/militia and just push off the zombies from the country. I would personally fight the good fight for a while and then run off with a couple of my friends into the Chugiak mountains. If zombies followed, well they are slow, dumb, and have no collective mind, so its not like that many could go after me

Your mom said she was a zombie. She told me last night.

get the chainsaw! get the sword! get the shotgun and the napalm!

get the chainsaw! get the sword! get the shotgun and the napalm!
Napalm doesn't work. All it does is turn a zombie in a flaming zombie. Now you have the second problem of him setting your house in fire.

I think we need to teach the zombies whose boss. They think they can waltz around eating brains and flesh and whatnot...

There are only two practical options, the way I see it:

1) Reverse psychology... Make them eat your brains and flesh, see how they like it

2) Eat their brains and flesh! That'll show them what it's like to be preyed upon!

Looks like somebody decided to shamelessly copy my thread! :p

I think we need to teach the zombies whose boss. They think they can waltz around eating brains and flesh and whatnot...

There are only two practical options, the way I see it:

1) Reverse psychology... Make them eat your brains and flesh, see how they like it

2) Eat their brains and flesh! That'll show them what it's like to be preyed upon!

doesnt work, any drop of zombie fluid on a non-zombie makes them zombie

doesnt work, any drop of zombie fluid on a non-zombie makes them zombie
Has to break the skin. It's like AIDS.

Well, I'd say napalm would work, just take the intense heat of it (800-1200° C). It'd just consume the zombie after a while. The fat of human bodies burns quite good.

Well, I'd say napalm would work, just take the intense heat of it (800-1200° C). It'd just consume the zombie after a while. The fat of human bodies burns quite good.
It's not particularly hot, it's just sticky. Zombies don't panic, they just walk around setting things on fire.

Zombies don't have much fat to burn either, since they're undead and partially decomposed and all.
Also, would you really want to use a machete or a hatchet? It seems like the danger of splatters would be too great.

This was a serious question. What would you actually do?

Because I know I'd definitely grab the bottle of pills and down 'em all. Even if it does blow over, I'm not taking the risk of being eaten alive. No way!

Personally I want the "Retreat to an underground bunker to work on developing an anti-zombie serum" option. Let the Bruce Campbell types keep the zombies busy while I work on a solution :D

This was a serious question. What would you actually do?

Because I know I'd definitely grab the bottle of pills and down 'em all. Even if it does blow over, I'm not taking the risk of being eaten alive. No way!
Pork a bunch of hot babes and hide out somewhere. Fight the zombies. Make sure I have at least one bullet left.

This was a serious question. What would you actually do? Ok, now it's getting ridiculous. I would have thought that I would have been the only one to write a thread like this ever, but lo and behold, a pretender to throne of the "Master of Zombie Lore" has come!

i would just try to kill as many as i humanly could before dieing and becoming a Zombie myself and then killing more people

I'd develop a taste for flesh and get around by pretending to be a zombie...




....




WHAT?!?

I'd get my girlfriend (who wouldn't be infected) to imitate everything Alice (played by Milla Jonovich) did in Resident Evil 2. I'd gladly become Nemesis if necessary.

So Nemesis does die in the movie, but at least he kicked plenty of butt before he bit it.

Find a large apartment building, turn off the lifts, fill all the baths with water before it's cut off, destroy the stairs leading up (zombies can't climb), and grow food on the roof. Large buildings will usually provide a larger population base. Larger populations = greater protection, and higher chance of specialist skills (ie, doctors, engineers, marksmen.)

Any of you read the zombie survival guide? I forgot who wrote it. Quite entertaining. Has tips like, "Machetes don't need reloading".

Underground bunkers don't work, just watch Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD.

Max Brooks.

http://kevan.org/proce55ing/zombies/ is pretty cool. It simulates an outbreak.

I hole up in a nuclear reactor, then when the zombies find me, I throw a grenade at some vital component. Then, when I become a zombie, I will be a radioactive mutant super zombie! I will be the leader of all the zombies! Muahaha!

Oh, erm....yeah, I said join them. :p

Well...

(grabs Steyr Scout 7.62mm)

id do exactly what shaun did in shaun of the dead, ie hold out in a pub with hockey sticks, cricket bats, spades and a gun until the army comes and sorts it out for me. all of my freinds would die, but id get back with my girlfreind who id split up with the day before.

Thanks for ruinin' the plot for me!

*coughASSBAGcough* :p

Thanks for ruinin' the plot for me!

*coughASSBAGcough* :p


the plot is not important, the jokes are the best bit.

I would probably cry and run around in panic for a while, before drinking myself stupid and committing suicide. Since I have no idea how to use a gun! Nor do I know where the nearest weapons store is... suicide would most definitely be the best option.

id do exactly what shaun did in shaun of the dead, ie hold out in a pub with hockey sticks, cricket bats, spades and a gun until the army comes and sorts it out for me. all of my freinds would die, but id get back with my girlfreind who id split up with the day before.

Amen, brother or sister, amen.

But don't forget the collection of Dire Straits-LPs

elect one of them as president of the united states - they would probably do a better job ;)

So the world would be run by an unenlightened, uneducated grey mass of selfish, almost parasitic individuals who's only concession to some kind of co-operation is to occasionally mob people?

No, wait, thats if democracy takes over the world. Heh.

Yeah, I have a plan for Zombies. Get to Wales, live in the mountains, periodically purge and raid the small towns and military depots that fill out the area. Indeed, it is almost possible that some towns wouldn't notice a zombie invasion until the local cornershop runs out of cigarettes. The full plan runs to several pages, but I can't be arsed to type it up.

Yeah, I have a plan for Zombies. Get to Wales, live in the mountains, periodically purge and raid the small towns and military depots that fill out the area. Indeed, it is almost possible that some towns wouldn't notice a zombie invasion until the local cornershop runs out of cigarettes. The full plan runs to several pages, but I can't be arsed to type it up. Probably because you already spelled it out earlier.

Load everything I could (food, clothes and stuff) into a car and haul ass to the nearest military base. Grab myself a P90 (because with high powered, high rate of fire 50 round goodness, anything else is for stereotypical retards in movies who run out of ammo at the worst moments)

Steal a B-52 and carpet hydrogen bomb everything. The idea of radioactive zombies is an invalid one, since according to most zombie movies and books, they still require a functional brain, and the radiation (if not the extreme blast wave+heat) would kill all the brain cells for sure)

To quote Monty Python:

RUN AWAY!

Probably because you already spelled it out earlier.

Did I?

Man, I gotta sleep more often. Chunks of my life are falling away, like decomposing flesh off an ambulatory corpse...

So the world would be run by an unenlightened, uneducated grey mass of selfish, almost parasitic individuals who's only concession to some kind of co-operation is to occasionally mob people?


aha so we would see no change then ;)

Well... so the other zombies don't eat me, I would start to eat other people to blend in. And I guess I would have to do that for the rest of my life... or until all the zombies die, whatever comes first.

You be a bit fuked if they dint rot, a la the old dawn of the dead. becuase you woulnt be able to grow food unless you where as some one wisely stated on a sky scraper (allthough it would be hard to secure) + had manure to grow it in to, meh!

Becuase eventually there would just be 60 million zombies out there and youd run out of food and die.

but assumeing they rot or eventually die (they have to by biological princples) you just have to put distance physically between them and you, for example do to a sky scraper and blow up the stair cases and shut the lifts, or maybe an old castle or a bunker, anything that cant be torn down.

and just wait.

Aww, will nobody join me in suicide? It'll be fun, kids! *grins like a scary cult leader*

I already have the weapons and the supplies.

Here in the US, you can also get a flamethrower without a license (it's not considered a "destructive device" or a "firearm").

What would you do, hmm?

Yo mama.

I already have the weapons and the supplies.

Here in the US, you can also get a flamethrower without a license (it's not considered a "destructive device" or a "firearm").

so then you have flaming murdering autmotons walking towards you and possibly buring your strong hold.

hmm thats an improvement.

Yeah the one advantage of the 2nd ammendmant is that if zombies attack.

thought you become dependant on the guns and youll just run out of ammo anyway.

Shuan of the dead clearly shows us that a cricket bat is ample.

thought you become dependant on the guns and youll just run out of ammo anyway.


If I need more than 20,000 rounds of ammunition, then it won't matter.

If I need more than 20,000 rounds of ammunition, then it won't matter.
huh?

no eventally you run out, and youd probally risk your ass getting more ammo, this is where things like machete or a cricket bat come in handy, after all you only have to bonk em on the head.

huh?

no eventally you run out, and youd probally risk your ass getting more ammo, this is where things like machete or a cricket bat come in handy, after all you only have to bonk em on the head.

If they're zombies they were dead already, so how could you kill them???

And how do you all know so much about flesh-eating zombies, 'cause as far as I know (and hope) they don't exist.
:(

:confused:
:eek: :sniper: :mp5: :gundge:

i would eat myself. better me to do it, than some strange undead person.

Load everything I could (food, clothes and stuff) into a car and haul ass to the nearest military base. Grab myself a P90 (because with high powered, high rate of fire 50 round goodness, anything else is for stereotypical retards in movies who run out of ammo at the worst moments)

Steal a B-52 and carpet hydrogen bomb everything. The idea of radioactive zombies is an invalid one, since according to most zombie movies and books, they still require a functional brain, and the radiation (if not the extreme blast wave+heat) would kill all the brain cells for sure)

Automatic weapons are useless in zombie scenarios, they're just a waste of precious ammo. A semi-automatic handgun can do much more damage, with much less ammo (providing you're a decent shot), since zombies will only die with a headshot.

Watch Shaun of the Dead for survival guide...

elect one of them as president of the united states - they would probably do a better job ;)
I dunno. We've already got a zombie Vice President. Really. He looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Unlike with Bob Dole, I don't care how much viagra they pump him with, that Dick is never going to be alive.

If they're zombies they were dead already, so how could you kill them???
Zombies aren't actually dead. They're undead. You know how you can be banned from the forum, and the unbanned? Well, they were dead, but for whatever reason, they became undead.

Automatic weapons are useless in zombie scenarios, they're just a waste of precious ammo. A semi-automatic handgun can do much more damage, with much less ammo (providing you're a decent shot), since zombies will only die with a headshot.
Thank you, Professor of Zombiology. I didn't actually know much about the REALISTIC (meaning in "reality") methods of killing zombies. Great job!

If they're zombies they were dead already, so how could you kill them???

And how do you all know so much about flesh-eating zombies, 'cause as far as I know (and hope) they don't exist.
:(

:confused:
:eek: :sniper: :mp5: :gundge:
tsk tsk, you smash there skulls in with a croquet mallet.

the idea of zombies, is not really that far fetched, look at rabies that can make a person act completely homicidal and bitiey, if there was a virus that could reactivate the central nervous system, yeah you could have zombies, they'd rip each other apart mind.

not that far fetched.

so then you have flaming murdering autmotons walking towards you and possibly buring your strong hold.

burning them may not be useful immediately, but you want to do it eventually. I think the best way to keep them out of action (and prevent accidental infection) is to reduce their bodies to ashes. Whether its useful in combat depends on how fast they burn.

tsk tsk, you smash there skulls in with a croquet mallet.

the idea of zombies, is not really that far fetched, look at rabies that can make a person act completely homicidal and bitiey, if there was a virus that could reactivate the central nervous system, yeah you could have zombies, they'd rip each other apart mind.

not that far fetched.
They tried to make it scientific with the game and movie, Resident Evil, by saying it's a virus that re-animates dead cells. It didn't make much sense, though, because some of the zombie's movements completely defied modern medicine (IE: certain movements impossible without the right tendons, or also the fact that if their cells are "reanimated", then why not "regenerated"?)

But actually, yes, this could in 100 years be a possibility, with nanotechnology. If they can design machines which act like and are about the size of cells (or even better, atoms!), then have a chance of doing this. They could design them like T-cells in bone marrow (hence, T-virus), which can generate new cells. The major theoretical problem with this, though, would be reanimating the brain. It'd probably be more realistic to design nano machines which would create a new brain, with custom-designed DNA (as the human genome project should be greatly advanced by then), rather than trying to reanimate an old brain.

In any case, though, even if they had the technology to do it, they wouldn't be "zombies", but fully-resurrected human beings. In fact, this poses an interesting ethical question, as to whether or not they should be allowed to "resurrect" humans, and what rights these beings would have.

But like you said, the rabies virus would be much better. If you were a psychotic Neoconservative, Islamic dictator, or any other wacko, it'd make a lot more sense to try and design a more advanced, faster acting form of the rabies virus, than to try resurrecting people. As that would be the closest thing to "zombies", except they'd die fairly quickly of thirst, not being able to eat or drink anything.

I'd run away to some deserted island in the Bahamas with a few friends and build it into a self sufficent NORAD like thing there to wait until the zombies die off from consuming all food sources.

sounds like a good plan lol but then we wil have all the islands full and i wonder can zombies swim? or would they just walk along the bottom of the ocean much like the pirates from pirates of the caribean? if so that would kinda make the island idea a bust lol

I would move to a remote area in the Arctic circle/Antartica with a small community. There we would make a stable base of operations and adapt and live as long as we can in the safety of the arctic, Since all the zombies that wander there would freeze up by the intensely cold weather; let alone if they make it that far.

Other than that; I would run screaming to a naval base and board a submarine or naval warship and set sail with the sailors; where we could probably live off the sea for months if not years with the proper planning, we could establish bases on oil rigs and colonize uninhabited islands in the Pacific.


Then we could probably make some elaborate plan to attack and seize control of several space shuttle launch centers for just enough time to evacuate people to establish colonies on the Moon. Then from there; after years of reseach we can make a "sterilization beam" that will zap the earth and exterminate all the affected zombies.... :D

ok the moon idea kicks ass :D but then there would be the problem of only having a limited population on the moon but who ever dose not make it to the moon can just fight it out with the zombies :p