Crapholistan
11-04-2005, 04:08
A joke I heard today :D Sorry if the translation is crappy.
The mental problems hotline:
"Welcome:
If you are suffering from obsessive compulsion press 1 eight hundred-sixty-eight times.
If you are suffering from low self esteem, get someone to press 2 for you.
If you are suffering from split-personality press 2, 3, 4 and 5.
If you are suffering from paranoya stay on the line while we trace the call, we know who you are and what you want.
If you are suffering from depression, it doesn't matter what you press, noone will answer.
If you are delusional press 7 and we'll patch you through to the mothership.
If you are suffering from dyslexia press 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6
If you are suffering from anxiety fidget with the 8 button untill someone answers.
If you are suffering from indecisiveness or inaction leave a message before or after the beep.
If you are suffering from amnesia press 8 then 4 and leave your name, date of birth, address, social security number, credit card number, measurements and your parents full names.
The mental problems hotline:
"Welcome:
If you are suffering from obsessive compulsion press 1 eight hundred-sixty-eight times.
If you are suffering from low self esteem, get someone to press 2 for you.
If you are suffering from split-personality press 2, 3, 4 and 5.
If you are suffering from paranoya stay on the line while we trace the call, we know who you are and what you want.
If you are suffering from depression, it doesn't matter what you press, noone will answer.
If you are delusional press 7 and we'll patch you through to the mothership.
If you are suffering from dyslexia press 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9, 6
If you are suffering from anxiety fidget with the 8 button untill someone answers.
If you are suffering from indecisiveness or inaction leave a message before or after the beep.
If you are suffering from amnesia press 8 then 4 and leave your name, date of birth, address, social security number, credit card number, measurements and your parents full names.