NationStates Jolt Archive

What do y'all think one's sexuality is defined by: attraction, sex, love, what? What makes somebody homosexual versus heterosexual? There seems to be some dispute.

I consider attraction is to be the basis of sexuality.

i don't think you can have sex or love without attraction. even with prostitution, there's attraction to the money, which becomes an aspect, indeed, the only aspect of the prostitute's customer.

:confused:
I think it's your choice - How you choose to define yourself defines your sexuality.. Surely some people base it on who they are attracted to, others on who they've slept with.. I think it's up to the individual.. They can be whoever they want as far as I'm concerned.. :)

i don't think you can have sex or love without attraction. even with prostitution, there's attraction to the money, which becomes an aspect, indeed, the only aspect of the prostitute's customer.
Maybe you're right. But there are people who fall in love with really ugly people, so it's hard for me to imagine there is any attraction there.

I think love is an important factor. I don't think I could have sex with someone who I didn't love.

I think love is an important factor. I don't think I could have sex with someone who I didn't love.
All together now: "Awwwwwwwww..." Seriously, that's really sweet.

Maybe you're right. But there are people who fall in love with really ugly people, so it's hard for me to imagine there is any attraction there.
oh, you mean purely physical attraction. well, even discounting personality, there's still personal taste to be accounted for.

oh, you mean purely physical attraction. well, even discounting personality, there's still personal taste to be accounted for.
Oh, gotcha. Still, I don't think attraction nessecarily has to be there. I could be wrong. *Shrugs.*

I don't think you can force yourself to love someone... so I don't think you can control who you have feelings towards, regardless of gender ((and in a pedaphile's case age... :eek: ))

I guess love determines who you have feelings for... I agree with the people above me, how could you give yourself to someone without an emotional or physical attraction of some sort? :fluffle:

I don't know... it's a touchy subject

All together now: "Awwwwwwwww..." Seriously, that's really sweet.

Well I am only human, so I also voted with attraction as a secondary.

Maybe you're right. But there are people who fall in love with really ugly people, so it's hard for me to imagine there is any attraction there.
Ugly? That's not a universal definition. You might find someone ugly but another person might find them attractive. Also when you get to know someone and like their personality they tend to look more attractive in your eyes.

Ugly? That's not a universal definition. You might find someone ugly but another person might find them attractive. Also when you get to know someone and like their personality they tend to look more attractive in your eyes.
Okay, but surely someone sees my point, right? :D

Okay, but surely someone sees my point, right? :D


Yes... sadly... It really is hard to "love" someone unless you can find a physical bond with them

i understand the point you are trying to make. There is however more then one way to find someone attractive. Looks arent everything. i do not agree with your point friend...however i understand what you are trying to say.

i understand the point you are trying to make. There is however more then one way to find someone attractive. Looks arent everything. i do not agree with your point friend...however i understand what you are trying to say.
I never said that non physical attraction isn't possible, but it is extremely rare, IMO.

sex·u·al·i·ty
n.

1. The condition of being characterized and distinguished by sex.
2. Concern with or interest in sexual activity.
3. Sexual character or potency.

These are the definitions ive always followed for sexuality... it has nothing to do with who you are attracted to... but your interest in sex.. its a personality trait.. how sexual you are

Hmm... I thought this was like, sexual orientation, rather than sexuality in general.

sexuality... its your interest in sex.. its a personality trait.They say I have a lot of "personality" :D :D :eek: :D

Maybe you're right. But there are people who fall in love with really ugly people, so it's hard for me to imagine there is any attraction there.

what do you mean by that? are you talking about the initial attraction we have to pretty people before we get to know them or do you think that people marry those who they are not attracted to ever?

anyway, i think your sexuality is best defined by who you are attracted to.

if a man finds himself constantly attracted to other men, it doesnt really matter that he "loves" a woman. he's gay. (unless he is also constantly attracted to women too, then hes just a horny bastard)

i think your sexuality is defined by who you want to spend the rest of your life with or who you feel comfortable kissing and having sex with i think we're all gay in our own little way we just have preferences because most people experiment with both sexes and see which one they like more or if they like both

i don't think you can have sex or love without attraction. even with prostitution, there's attraction to the money, which becomes an aspect, indeed, the only aspect of the prostitute's customer.
true, it doesnt go like "hey u ugly guy! come over here and have sex with me," :fluffle: no, it dosent work like that...id rather be like this guy>> :headbang: than do that..

Yes... sadly... It really is hard to "love" someone unless you can find a physical bond with them
i dont know, ive met two women who were married but neither of them where really lesbians they just really like each other's company

I base my sexuality strictly on who I'm attracted to. In 35 years, I've never once been attracted to a male, therefore I hate to say I must be about as strait as they come. Give me a woman any day of the week. Women may irritate me, they may be illogical emotion driven bundles of hormones, but boy are they fun. There are times I wish I was homosexual, just so I wouldn't have to deal with womens baggage, but it just holds no interest for me. So, I guess I'll keep putting up with the garbage. It's either that or spend the rest of my life alone. :headbang:

anyway, i think your sexuality is best defined by who you are attracted to.

if a man finds himself constantly attracted to other men, it doesnt really matter that he "loves" a woman. he's gay. (unless he is also constantly attracted to women too, then hes just a horny bastard)

well said, well said

I base my sexuality strictly on who I'm attracted to. In 35 years, I've never once been attracted to a male, therefore I hate to say I must be about as strait as they come. Give me a woman any day of the week. Women may irritate me, they may be illogical emotion driven bundles of hormones, but boy are they fun. There are times I wish I was homosexual, just so I wouldn't have to deal with womens baggage, but it just holds no interest for me. So, I guess I'll keep putting up with the garbage. It's either that or spend the rest of my life alone. :headbang:

whatch it bub

honestly, i dont think its women's fault that men are lazy loafers..

I base my sexuality strictly on who I'm attracted to. In 35 years, I've never once been attracted to a male, therefore I hate to say I must be about as strait as they come. Give me a woman any day of the week. Women may irritate me, they may be illogical emotion driven bundles of hormones, but boy are they fun. There are times I wish I was homosexual, just so I wouldn't have to deal with womens baggage, but it just holds no interest for me. So, I guess I'll keep putting up with the garbage. It's either that or spend the rest of my life alone. :headbang:
im pretty sure that it is only the curse of heterosexuality that keep men and women tolerating each other for more than a quick unsatisfying mating every now and then.

honestly, i dont think its women's fault that men are lazy loafers..
noooooo
its just our fault for putting up with lazy loafers

truer words were never spoken..

sex·u·al·i·ty
n.

1. The condition of being characterized and distinguished by sex.
2. Concern with or interest in sexual activity.
3. Sexual character or potency.

These are the definitions ive always followed for sexuality... it has nothing to do with who you are attracted to... but your interest in sex.. its a personality trait.. how sexual you are

get a life

It makes sense that it's the atrraction. Myself, I knew I was straight before I'd had sex with or loved a man.

Also, people who may identify as gay or straight may well have sex with the "wrong" gender for that sexuality... Of course that fits with the idea that human sexuality is a polygenic curve type trait. ;)

It makes sense that it's the atrraction. Myself, I knew I was straight before I'd had sex with or loved a man.

Same here. Well, except for the bolded part, because I've not done that... Yet... Nor do I plan doing it with a man!

*shudder*

Great, I've given myself one of those screwy mental images again...

*Chants* I'm here! I'm Queer! Eh.. who really cares?

But seriously, sexual orientation seems to be defined by whom you are attracted to sexualy. In my case, I could be well on my way to happy marriage to a woman who is madly in love with me... but I just can't see myself having sex with her. It just disgusts me. I've always kinda known I was gay because I'm simply and exclusively attracted to men. Easy as that.