NationStates Jolt Archive

No, this isn't another "why don't nice guys get any?" thread. What I would like to know however is; why would any girl want to date a complete asshole?

There is a couple in my school. The girl is nice enough, if a little ditzy. But the guy is scum. He's a total asshole and I am convinced that he is legally insane and dangerous. He treats her like shit, but she clings to him for some reason. I've even heard him threaten her.

I just don't get why anyone would want to date someone who treats you like dirt and is potentially dangerous.

If the ladies of the board could clear this up, it would be much appriciated. Thank you.

No, this isn't another "why don't nice guys get any?" thread. What I would like to know however is; why would any girl want to date a complete asshole?

There is a couple in my school. The girl is nice enough, if a little ditzy. But the guy is scum. He's a total asshole and I am convinced that he is legally insane and dangerous. He treats her like shit, but she clings to him for some reason. I've even heard him threaten her.

I just don't get why anyone would want to date someone who treats you like dirt and is potentially dangerous.

If the ladies of the board could clear this up, it would be much appriciated. Thank you.

Some women (I didn't say "all" for purely ettiquette reasons) look for father-figures: authoritative, strength, control, punishment. Then they see any negativity from their 'daddies' as a sign that they have been "bad" themselves, and look at it as a kind of constructive criticism each time Mr Charming beats her. Then she try to improve in his eyes, and therefore her own. She's never "good enough," and we all know that food that doesn't satisfy the appetite is the kind you want the most of.

Edit: No, I'm not a lady. But I'm right so nyah.

People do stupid things what can you do? You try to convince them of their obvious error and they just get pissed. Human nature what can you do. Why would anyone drive 100mph on the highway? Humans are idiots.

Some women (I didn't say "all" for purely ettiquette reasons) look for father-figures: authoritative, strength, control, punishment. Then they see any negativity from their 'daddies' as a sign that they have been "bad" themselves, and look at it as a kind of constructive criticism each time Mr Charming beats her. Then she try to improve in his eyes, and therefore her own. She's never "good enough," and we all know that food that doesn't satisfy the appetite is the kind you want the most of.

Edit: No, I'm not a lady. But I'm right so nyah.
well , there you go. and much more nicely put than i could ever do. you are 100% CORRECT. *watches you smile smugly as you read that*

Because confidence is sexy? I don't think I'm a genuine asshole, but a lot of "nice guys" consider me one because I'm confident and cocky. And besides, you don't know how he treats her when it's just the two of them. He could be the sweetest guy in the world when they're alone.

Santa Barbara has a nice explanation, and even though I'm not a girl, I'll give you this:

I've dated "bad boys" purely for the fact that they're more fun. Sure, the lows might be lower, but the highs are higher.

Edit: Not to mention that I am a latent masochist :p

Because confidence is sexy? I don't think I'm a genuine asshole, but a lot of "nice guys" consider me one because I'm confident and cocky. And besides, you don't know how he treats her when it's just the two of them. He could be the sweetest guy in the world when they're alone.

There's a far cry between confidence and being a complete asshat. Almost everyone in my school has a grudge against the guy I'm describing. I've known this jerk-off since grade-school, there are absolutly no redeeming qualities about him. And somehow, I think he has the inability to be "sweet".

There's a far cry between confidence and being a complete asshat. Almost everyone in my school has a grudge against the guy I'm describing. I've known this jerk-off since grade-school, there are absolutly no redeeming qualities about him. And somehow, I think he has the inability to be "sweet".
So the REAL question is, what's your interest in the girl? Guys are rarely so altruistic.

If the ladies of the board could clear this up, it would be much appriciated. Thank you.
Wow, calm down boy, did you even know what you just wrote?

second page! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=411211)

Don't worry - this guy won't win anything in the long run!

So the REAL question is, what's your interest in the girl? Guys are rarely so altruistic.

I know that if I see a woman being mistreated by her husband/boyfriend my blood boils.

When I was quite young I got into a relationship with an older woman who was married - not wise in any event, but hey I was young, wtf did I know.

Anyhow, it was an Internet relationship, and yes you might groan. Anyway, one night she and her husband got into an argument and he raped her. I was sitting on my computer waiting for her to come back, and she came back and was very quiet. Eitherway, you don't know how helpless you feel and how angry when someone you care about has something like that happen to them and you're powerless to do anything about it.

Regardless of his interest in the girl, if there is one, and she's being mistreated I support him 100%.

As for the main topic, yeah Santa Barbara probably has it right. Othertimes I think people get trapped by circumstance and backed into a corner they can see no way out of. So they stay with it because the possibility of escape seems improbable, but again that's in more established cases I think.

Again, to me whatever way you look at it, so long as the victim comes out of an abusive relationship to being in a beneficial, or even as a single person, I have no qualm with anyone sticking their boot in. It's the moral and right thing to do.

Men are stupid, too. Ever invest yourself in a woman that your friends warned you about? And got the Order of the Purple Shaft, with oak leaf clusters?

I chalk it up to youth and inexperience. We all find the "bad boys" and/or "bad girls" far more exciting.

Love sucks anyways. It serves its purpose once it breaks your heart, thats why it exists.

Love sucks anyways. It serves its purpose once it breaks your heart, thats why it exists.
that was a stupid thing to say, and you're a stupid person for saying it. :D

that was a stupid thing to say, and you're a stupid person for saying it. :D

I suppose its not stupid to insult a person you know nothing about.

I suppose its not stupid to insult a person you know nothing about.
i was just funnin ya, friend. usually, if someone uses one o these :D it does not mean that they are serious.

ok i have 2 theories

some girls love drama and bad boys provide plenty. from "that bitch isnt going to steal him from me" to "ill be faithful to you while you serve your 20 years in prison" to "no one loves me like he does" (said from the hospital bed he put her in)

bad boy have a very forceful sexuality. some good girls like the idea of being led (or dragged) into sex. they dont want a loving equal relationship that makes sex as much her decision as it is his. they want to be swept away so the decision isnt really theirs at all. if they arent such good girls, they want a boy who knows what hes doing and will give her a good time in bed. no asking permission just going for it.

i was just funnin ya, friend. usually, if someone uses one o these :D it does not mean that they are serious.


Sorry, Just in one of my "I hate the world moods." No Offense taken. :)

So the REAL question is, what's your interest in the girl?

None. I am merely curious to why anyone would put up with that at such a young age.

Guys are rarely so altruistic.

I'll try not to take that as an insult...

I'll try not to take that as an insult...
i'm struggling with that one myself.