NationStates Jolt Archive

In Jesus H. Christ, what does the H stand for?

I think it stands for Happy. Jesus Happy Christ. Any other theories?

jesus "hellfire" christ- from his bullying days in highschool

Herbert. He dropped the middle name after he got famous.

Hannibal of course

"holy"?

Jesus "Hippy" Christ.

I mean, his hair is a give away!

Herbert. He dropped the middle name after he got famous. Herbert is an awesome name.

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you

Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Set my alarm, turn on my charm
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy

Ooh let me feel your heartbeat (Grow faster, faster)
Ooh ooh can you feel my love heat
Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love
And tell me how do you feel right after-all
I'd like for you and I to go romancing
Say the word - your wish is my command

Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Write my letter
Feel much better
And use my fancy patter on the telephone

When I'm not with you
I think of you always
(I miss those long hot summer nights)
I miss you
When I'm not with you
Think of me always
Love you - love you

Hey boy where do you get it from
Hey boy where did you go ?
I learned my passion in the good old
Fashioned school of loverboys

Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely
One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock
I will pay the bill, you taste the wine
Driving back in style, in my saloon will do quite nicely
Just take me back to yours that will be fine (Come on and get it)

Ooh love, (There he goes again just like a good old-fashioned lover boy)
Ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Everything's all right
Just hold on tight
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned fashioned lover boy

Herbert is an awesome name.
no, not quite as cool Hampson, yes i know someone with that name

Hella, you know as in," that is hella cool!"

It's Howard ... like in the prayer ...

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Howard be thy name ...

etc etc.

"H" is for Homosexual

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you
<snip>
Ooh love, (There he goes again just like a good old-fashioned lover boy)
Ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Everything's all right
Just hold on tight
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned fashioned lover boy
what the hell?

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you

Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Set my alarm, turn on my charm
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy

Ooh let me feel your heartbeat (Grow faster, faster)
Ooh ooh can you feel my love heat
Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love
And tell me how do you feel right after-all
I'd like for you and I to go romancing
Say the word - your wish is my command

Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Write my letter
Feel much better
And use my fancy patter on the telephone

When I'm not with you
I think of you always
(I miss those long hot summer nights)
I miss you
When I'm not with you
Think of me always
Love you - love you

Hey boy where do you get it from
Hey boy where did you go ?
I learned my passion in the good old
Fashioned school of loverboys

Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely
One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock
I will pay the bill, you taste the wine
Driving back in style, in my saloon will do quite nicely
Just take me back to yours that will be fine (Come on and get it)

Ooh love, (There he goes again just like a good old-fashioned lover boy)
Ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Everything's all right
Just hold on tight
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned fashioned lover boy
Haha! What's with the Queen?

It's Howard ... like in the prayer ...

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Howard be thy name ...You mean Harold (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_033.html), of course.

It's Howard ... like in the prayer ...

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Howard be thy name ...

etc etc.

Damn, beaten to it. :p

Herbert is an awesome name.

His agent made him drop it. He said it wouldn't look good in print.

Haha! What's with the Queen?

The lyrics are posted for our benefit because no one here has ever heard them before.

The lyrics are posted for our benefit because no one here has ever heard them before.

Not meaning to burst your bubble, but I think you just might be mistaken. "Good Ole Fashioned Lover Boy" from "A Day at the Races" by Freddy Mercury.

That aside, I think Howard is the right answer.

Well, I think it's supposed to be 'holy,' but I don't imagine you're really looking for serious answers here...

Well, the H in "Hiram H Rothstein" (the proverbial jew) stands for "Hiram"


I always assumed it was the same for Jesus, though Hoolyo is also reasonable

hairy - he didnt shave

Well... just between you and me...

Jesus Heaintgod Christ. I'm going to suffer for saying that, neh?

H - Hallelujah!

To be perfectly honest, that "H" is just like vows at a celebrity wedding.

It doesn't mean a blessed thing.

Not meaning to burst your bubble, but I think you just might be mistaken. "Good Ole Fashioned Lover Boy" from "A Day at the Races" by Freddy Mercury.

That aside, I think Howard is the right answer.

Roger Taylor, John Deacon and Brian May would like to have a word with you, good sir.

In Jesus H. Christ, what does the H stand for?

I think it stands for Happy. Jesus Happy Christ. Any other theories?

Well... since all the best joke answers are already taken... I'll break character and actually try to answer something straight(for once!).

"Jesus H. Christ" comes from the Greek monogram for Jesus, IHS or IHC. This is formed from the first two letters plus the last letter of His name in Greek (the letters iota, eta, and sigma; in the second instance, the C is a Byzantine Greek form of sigma). The H is actually the capital letter form of eta, but churchgoers who were unfamiliar with Greek took it to be a Latin H.

This seems to be mostly an American usage, first recorded in print at the end of the nineteenth century, although around 1910 Mark Twain wrote in his autobiography that the expression had been in use about 1850 and was considered old even then.

Not a very funny answer, but J.F.C.! I can't always be hilarious!

The "H" stood for "Hentai".

Jesus had a schoolgirl fetish. Don't ask.

The "H" stood for "Hentai".

Jesus had a schoolgirl fetish. Don't ask.

Those darn japanese girls running everywhere in Jerusalem!

Those darn japanese girls running everywhere in Jerusalem!
Didn't you know? Japanese schoolgirls were the eleventh plague of Egypt.

Well, they didn't end up being as much of a plague as a... well, you get the idea.

Anyway, the Jews took them to Jerusalem for obvious reasons. And yes, miniskirts do hold up after thirty years in the desert.

"holy"?
Excellent answer. You are brilliant!

Those darn japanese girls running everywhere in Jerusalem!

So many were there because Jesus made them come.

So many were there because Jesus made them come.
Ha HA! Double meanings! :D

Ha HA! Double meanings! :D
I wonder if thats what started the whole trend towards women screaming 'OH GOD!!! OH GOD!!!!! OH GOD!!!!' in bed too... Hmm...

Hosea

Humperdink

In Jesus H. Christ, what does the H stand for?

I think it stands for Happy. Jesus Happy Christ. Any other theories?

I was *so* thinking that!

Although, now that I think about it, I think it supposed to be Jesus Holy Christ.

Jesus Hip Christ might be fun.

Jesus Happenin' Christ - wouldn't that be better than Buddy Chist?

my dad, a crazy blackshirt italian, would say 'Jesus", then make a "HHHHGGGGGG" sound, like he was going to hack up his spleen, and then "christ!" it still is funnier than hell when he does it.

Those darn japanese girls running everywhere in Jerusalem!

Of course that only lasted until the little known or written about twelfth plague of tentacle monsters :eek:

Holy

Hick!

The priest was drunk while baptising JC: I *hick* name *hick* thee Jesus *hick* Christ.

:rolleyes:

Herman

According to a pretty hilarious website it stands for "Hitler". ;)

Boy, that page was ridiculous.

Haha! What's with the Queen?
Random Queen is always good.
And it stands for Hamfast of course. God loves Tolkien...

my dad, a crazy blackshirt italian, would say 'Jesus", then make a "HHHHGGGGGG" sound, like he was going to hack up his spleen, and then "christ!" it still is funnier than hell when he does it.
ROFL

It is, of course, Holy - but in a different context.

'Jesus - Holy Christ you're right, It's him!'
'Get the camera........come on...........quickly!'

Heffner

Speeking of jesus ... tool found him!


good news, April fools fans. The writing and recording is back under way. When approached for comment on his recent encounter with the Son of God, Maynard said, "That guy's a punk!"
As it turns out, Maynard was out "location scouting" near the Fourth Street bridge in downtown Los Angeles when he "found Jesus."
"Turns out he was here the whole time, and not that difficult to find if you know where to look," Maynard reported. Apparently Jesus offered him the position of campaign manager for his new line of "Holier Than Thou" sparkling holy water, which Maynard of course accepted. What wasn't obvious was that this guy is a total drunk. It's an occupational hazard. Every time our Lord goes to get a glass of water, it transforms into a generic grocery store Merlot. Because the alcoholic is the Son of God and an all-knowing being, he knew of Maynard’s extensive interest in collecting wine. So he went to work trying to get his lips on it. Maynard caught J.C. in his cellar transforming his precious wine collection into urine, then pissing it into the empty "sparkling holy water" bottles for the eventual sale to all those people who bought, read, and embraced "The Celestine Prophesy." Tragic.
"Truth be told," Maynard confessed, "I wasn't feeling top notch when I found him. The evening prior to the day in question I had over-indulged in a series of bad Molotov shrimp cocktails with a side of Makers Mark and twin strippers. So after an entire night of G.I. Blowouts, hot/cold sweats, and blurred vision, it's very possible that the guy I met wasn't even Jesus at all. For all I know, it was Willem Dafoe."