Off fortune cookies
The left foot
08-04-2005, 03:03
You know how sometimes you get a fortune cookie that is just completly wrong or the "lucky" numbers are the day your grandma died. Post the most Incorrect fortune cokies you ever got here.
Peechland
08-04-2005, 03:04
"Man with hand in pants feel cocky all day"
Crapholistan
08-04-2005, 03:04
"you will find true love soon*
I was out for dinner with my girlfriend, which I had lived with for 4 years.
Johnistan
08-04-2005, 03:09
I once got a fortune cookie without a fortune in it. For some reason it seemed strangely symbolic the way my life is going now.
Nation of Fortune
08-04-2005, 03:12
"Kindness to small animals will be repayed tenfold"
this was about 20 minutes after we shot, and killed, a nutria
Equalist Communists
08-04-2005, 03:13
One time I was at my friend's house and he had a bag of fortune cookies, each had about 5 or 6 fortunes, it was pretty fun to see which one we decided was ours and then we handed out the others.
Supposedly all fortune cookies make sense if you add the words "in bed" to the end of the fortune...its made for some interesting ones...
You will soon find a new job...in bed
Patra Caesar
08-04-2005, 03:17
"If get food poisioning; no refunds"
Nation of Fortune
08-04-2005, 03:18
Supposedly all fortune cookies make sense if you add the words "in bed" to the end of the fortune...its made for some interesting ones...
You will soon find a new job...in bed
"kindness to small animals will be repayed tenfold.....in bed"
spooky
Secluded Islands
08-04-2005, 03:19
"you will find wealth"
(side note: I ate chinese last weekend, opened my fortune cookie and there was NO FORTUNE. I felt cheated, i deserve to at least get my hopes up :( )
Dominant Redheads
08-04-2005, 03:21
"Man with hand in pants feel cocky all day"
LOL...no way!
Aluminumia
08-04-2005, 03:21
"You can have your cake and eat it, too."
Got this one yesterday.
Nonconformitism
08-04-2005, 03:22
"Don't eat the calamari."
Willamena
08-04-2005, 03:29
I once got a fortune cookie without a fortune in it. For some reason it seemed strangely symbolic the way my life is going now.
Thank you.
Straughn
08-04-2005, 03:30
"The price of postage stamps shall climb ever higher"
No, wait ... wrong one.
"You are a unique and entertaining individual. Your charisma and keen intellect shall shine volumes of enlightenment upon any lucky enough to gaze upon your visage. Too bad you have an extremely poor sense of hygiene."
Well, some of that one was .....
My fortune cookies aren't even fortunes. They're advice!
"Now's the time to pursue that love interest!"
...
in BED!
(Me and my friends also do that. We're so pathetically immature...)
Keruvalia
08-04-2005, 03:54
"That wasn't chicken"
Crapholistan
08-04-2005, 03:58
"Man goes to sleep with itchy ass. Wake up with smelly finger."
Occidio Multus
08-04-2005, 09:07
every time i eat chinese food, i am usually drunk. so i dont remember any of the fortunes. but i played the numbers once, and won $ 3,439 at Keno. then spent it all on drinks for my friends. niiiice, loser, yeah?
I once got a fortune cookie without a fortune in it. For some reason it seemed strangely symbolic the way my life is going now.
You too, uh? I know I didn't sleep the night I got that one.
Cannot think of a name
08-04-2005, 10:11
"You can have your cake and eat it, too."
Got this one yesterday.
My first documentary was all about (well, not all about, but it was one of the central metaphors) explaining how that works. The gist of it is that to really understand it, you'd of had to had some really kick ass cakes. My grandma made wedding cakes for a living and I am the oldest grandchild, so I would get cakes that where really cool looking-shaped like 3D race cars and shit-stuff I wish I could show you-but I ate the cake.
I'm still bent out of shape about the fact that on seperate occasions all of my friends got promises from the Galactic Wizard for a ride in his space ship except me. Those bastards...
Toryoria
08-04-2005, 10:11
This one works even better with the "In bed" addenda, but I was once on a school band trip and we stopped at an awful Chinese restaurant in Calgary. My friend - the most notorious for looking (but not actually BEING) gay - was making gay jokes all day and had been acting as flaming as possible, even though he's not gay.
The fortune he got?
"Behind an able man, there are always other able men."
I swear.
I got one that, while certainly not the worst ever, was most definetly unimaginative.
"You will be successful at everything."
Everything, huh? Then what the hell am I doing here? :p
Cannot think of a name
08-04-2005, 10:23
I got one that, while certainly not the worst ever, was most definetly unimaginative.
"You will be successful at everything."
Everything, huh? Then what the hell am I doing here? :p
Successfully eating chinese?
eh, I tried..
Adrian Barbeau-Bot
08-04-2005, 10:31
I got one that, while certainly not the worst ever, was most definetly unimaginative.
"You will be successful at everything."
Everything, huh? Then what the hell am I doing here? :p
i got that one too. if you turn in around, it say "hahahahahahahahahaha"
Randomea
08-04-2005, 17:05
"Go take your loved one to see a film in the cinema."
or "you will have a great weekend."
Both late Sunday evenings, after 'curfew'.
Occidio Multus
08-04-2005, 17:23
http://www.badcookie.com/
try this.
Franziskonia
08-04-2005, 17:25
"HELP! I've been abducted to this fortune cookie factory!"
Demented Hamsters
08-04-2005, 17:53
"The waiter spat into your food"
"While having lovely meal at fine restaurant, burglars were robbing your place"
this is a real fortune I got
you will have bad luck and misfortune for the rest of your usless existence.
sounds like someone knew they were gonna get fired from the fortune cookie factory. :P
Carnivorous Lickers
08-04-2005, 17:54
Supposedly all fortune cookies make sense if you add the words "in bed" to the end of the fortune...its made for some interesting ones...
You will soon find a new job...in bed
This is good to know as my favorite fortune is "A nice cake is waiting for you"- this is the only fortine I have ever saved.
I'm a little nervous as I dont know where this cake is lurking.
Neo-Anarchists
08-04-2005, 17:54
Whenever I get a fortune cookie, there are always two or three different little fortune paper thingies inside. And they're still always wrong, dammit!
Carnivorous Lickers
08-04-2005, 17:56
this is a real fortune I got
you will have bad luck and misfortune for the rest of your usless existence.
sounds like someone knew they were gonna get fired from the fortune cookie factory. :P
You should sell that one on ebay.
"You will be successful at everything."
Everything, huh? Then what the hell am I doing here? :p
You just gotta spice it up
...in bed.
Now, doesn't that put a smile on your face?
And I really think that there should be random bad cookies.
"Your life will forever be a disaster."
"You will die horribly in a car crash."
"Your wife is banging your best friend right at this moment."
Daracnia
15-04-2005, 16:14
your instincts has
its
advantages
all
the
time...
This is freaky as anything...DO NOT
CHEAT
(You'll
will kick yourself later) I was a little
skeptical trying this, but if you follow the
instructions to the "t" you'll be
surprised!!!!
All of my answers were accurate. We'll see
tomorrow if the wish comes true. I'll let
you
know. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will
freak
you out! The person who sent it to me
said
her
wish came true 10 minutes after they read
the
mail. BUT NO CHEATING! This game
has
a
funny/spooky outcome.
Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It
takes
about three minutes...it's worth a try Smile
First..get a pen and paper. When you
actually
choose names, make sure it's people you
actually
know and go with your first instinct.
Scroll down one line at a time...and don't
read
ahead or you'll ruin it!
1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in
a
column.
2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write
down any
two numbers you want.
3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the
names
of
members of the opposite sex.
NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT
WON"T
TURN OUT RIGHT!
4. Write anyone's name (like friends or
family....) in the 4th, 5th,
and 6th spots.
5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10,
and
11.
GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!
6. Finally, make a wish.
And now the key for the game.....
1. You must tell (the number in space 2)
people
about this game.
2. The person in space 3 is the one that
you
love.
3. The person in 7 is one you like but
can't
work
out.
4. You care most about the person you
put in
4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is
the
one
who
knows you very well.
6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky
star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches
with
the person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 is the song for the person
in
7.
9. The tenth space is the song that tells
you
most about YOUR mind.
10. and 11 is the song telling you how
you
feel
about life
NOW...post this bulletin (dont reply) within
the
hour... IF you do..
your wish will come true...
If you don't it will become the opposite
You must post this in another room in 3 hours!!!! GOOD LUCK
Ancient Valyria
15-04-2005, 19:18
you believe chain letters hahahahahahahahahahaha you suck :p
The chain letter was obnoxious.
My favorite fortune cookie? Quite bittersweet:
"You will soon inherit a small sum of money."