NationStates Jolt Archive

What's the least painless method of commiting suicide? And I'd prefer it be fairly clean (at least clean enough that I look vaguely like myself afterwords; shooting, jumping off high buildings, or throwing myself in front of trains is therefore out.) Y'see, everyone I know is a complete asshole. And no telling me to think about this or whatever the fuck it is. And also, conservatives who inform me suicide will grant you a free 1-way ticket to hell will be shot.

Also, I'll likely not act on this. Just wanting to know.

There's always a heroin overdose. It's supposedly painless, and it kills you in your sleep.

:( is it really that bad?

I really hope youre a troll. The least painful method is not doing it. Thats my vote.

Some sort of gas I guess, what are you planning to do with this information?

Find yourself a psychologist.
Least painful method.
edit: whoops. didn't mean to quote.

Read my first post. I likely won't do anything, just wanting to know...

And no, I'm not trolling.

Find yourself a psychologist.
Least painful method.
Agreed.

Losing one's life almost always just isn't worth it.

Sky-dive. All you have to do; is not pull. Plus it would be one heck of a ride.

Telling your family that you're suicidal and may need help.

Wait I'm confused....your post says "Least PainLESS" method...but here we have been listing the "Least PainFULL" methods. Which is it? pain or no pain.


I still vote dont do it. I will give you something if you dont. Like a prize

id say heroin overdose too

but

there is no good way to do it. no matter how pretty your corpse it will devastate anyone who finds it. it will devastate all of your friends who would have helped you if you had only told them. it will devastate your family who will have nightmares for years because of it.

it is perhaps the cruelest thing you could ever do to anyone that you love.

Least painfull, least painless, whatever. Damn you you grammar nazi.

The least painless method would be to cover your body with sugar and then get in the way of a horde of flesh eating ants.

first, you drive a nail into your palm. then you hit your other hand with a hammer. then you cut open your chest. then you throw yourself into doors exactly seventeen times. then you put forks in your eyes. right about here...i think...you'll be at the end of your line and you'll look mostly like yourself, i mean...the face and all...

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

If you can quote obscure Holy Grain jargon, you owe it to the world to stick around! :D

first, you drive a nail into your palm. then you hit your other hand with a hammer. then you cut open your chest. then you throw yourself into doors exactly seventeen times. then you put forks in your eyes. right about here...i think...you'll be at the end of your line and you'll look mostly like yourself, i mean...the face and all...

DAMN, that would hurt!

Least painfull, least painless, whatever. Damn you you grammar nazi.

lol..I am far from a grammar Nazi love. But painless and painful are two different things. I just didnt know if you were looking for maximum pain or no pain at all. I still say dont do it. Do something else....like watch Napoleon Dynamite....thats close to suicide at least.

The least painless method would be to cover your body with sugar and then get in the way of a horde of flesh eating ants.

God Izzy.....Now I'm all itchy.

*looks body over for ants*

it is perhaps the cruelest thing you could ever do to anyone that you love.

Fuck that. I don't love anybody. Period. My parents are arseholes, my siblings are arseholes, and my goddamn hermit crab died. My girl-"friend" is a feminazi who slaps me whenever I so much as say "damn it," which I believe is universaly accepted as about the least serious swear word there is.

At this point I have an urge to quote Foamy the Squirrel
You know, in "Almost Serious Suicide"?

But I shall refrain.

http://www.cat.pdx.edu/~chuff/holiday.html
read for suicide ideas

Fuck that. I don't love anybody. Period. My parents are arseholes, my siblings are arseholes, and my goddamn hermit crab died. My girl-"friend" is a feminazi who slaps me whenever I so much as say "damn it," which I believe is universaly accepted as about the least serious swear word there is.

ANGST

Fuck that. I don't love anybody. Period. My parents are arseholes, my siblings are arseholes, and my goddamn hermit crab died. My girl-"friend" is a feminazi who slaps me whenever I so much as say "damn it," which I believe is universaly accepted as about the least serious swear word there is.
theres pretty much always one thing to live for, you just have to find it

lol..I am far from a grammar Nazi love.
Are you sure you're not this guy?
http://img218.exs.cx/img218/3370/grammarnazi8vu.jpg

:D

Are you sure you're not this guy?
http://img218.exs.cx/img218/3370/grammarnazi8vu.jpg

:D

I could have sworn Peech was that very person...! :D

Are you sure you're not this guy?
http://img218.exs.cx/img218/3370/grammarnazi8vu.jpg

:D
i swear, thats the 4th or 5th time ive seen you post that :p


(its pretty cool though)

theres pretty much always one thing to live for, you just have to find it

Yeah? Like what?

i swear, thats the 4th or 5th time ive seen you post that :p
Fourth.
I know, I know, I don't have many jokes.
*wanders off trying to think of some other humorous picture idea*

[/threadjack]

damn....theyre on to me......

*picks at mustache*

Yeah? Like what?

ANGST

Fuck that. I don't love anybody. Period. My parents are arseholes, my siblings are arseholes, and my goddamn hermit crab died. My girl-"friend" is a feminazi who slaps me whenever I so much as say "damn it," which I believe is universaly accepted as about the least serious swear word there is.
Meh. Dump the girlfriend, get yourself a turtle (they live longer) or a pet rock (less fuss, won't die), realize that when you are filthy rich you'll disown you family, and learn to love revenge.

Oh, yeessss. Revenge, a very good cause worth living for.

damn....theyre on to me......

*picks at mustache*

Pfff, that made me think about the Mr. Hilter sketch on The Monty Python's Flying Circus :D.

it is perhaps the cruelest thing you could ever do to anyone that you love.
Wow, up until I read that I hated the concept of suicide, I really did, but with that there, it makes it seem almost worth it to be that weak.

and if your anxious about heroin, you could experiment with poisons, or even simply a shitload of alchol and several sleeping pills, that ought to slow your system down enough so you feel a thing.

Yeah? Like what?

You could sell suicide ideas to other people.

Yeah? Like what?
i dont know for you, its different for everyone

for me, its the thought that someday i will finally be what i want to be, i just have to get the courage to do it. but its the knowledge that it will happen

for you, it could be something completely different. but once you find it, take hold and dont let go

Fuck that. I don't love anybody. Period. My parents are arseholes, my siblings are arseholes, and my goddamn hermit crab died. My girl-"friend" is a feminazi who slaps me whenever I so much as say "damn it," which I believe is universaly accepted as about the least serious swear word there is.

Dude...my mom used to stab me with needles and beat me and a bunch of other shit that I wont go into....but I survived a total hell growing up. You can too. Break up with your bitchy girlfriend and get a new crab. I remember you posting the questions about the crab coming out of his shell.....I'm so sorry he/she died. Dont join him-k?

Yeah? Like what?
There's always Monty Python...

Do you want to change the world? Vote independent, demonstrate, contribute to charities, volunteer, travel and see the world. Read, write articles, essays or books if you can.

Dude...my mom used to stab me with needles and beat me and a bunch of other shit that I wont go into....but I survived a total hell growing up.

From what I've heard, this was typical behavior of parents in the South during that time period. My grandpa used to slice open the back of my dad's legs with "switches", usually for his own personal amusement.

Do you want to change the world? Vote independent, demonstrate, contribute to charities, volunteer, travel and see the world. Read, write articles, essays or books if you can.

Okay, those are the last things I'd want to do. Except see the world because there are lots of hot women to see.

From what I've heard, this was typical behavior of parents in the South during that time period. My grandpa used to slice open the back of my dad's legs with "switches", usually for his own personal amusement.


switches aka "a hickory".....yeah they hurt like a bitch. But no-my mom was really nuts and did some........things. I should make a horror flick out of it and give Stephen King a run for his money. Bastard.

switches aka "a hickory".....yeah they hurt like a bitch. But no-my mom was really nuts and did some........things. I should make a horror flick out of it and give Stephen King a run for his money. Bastard.

It would probably be a hit... Of sorts. It'd be up there with Dee Snyder's "Strangeland". The first move ever to get a Restricted rating for Torture.

If your girlfriend's a bitch dump her ass. Why the fuck do people stay with people they don't like?

If you really must, then I recommend this method: Stop exercising, start smoking cigarettes and don't eat anything that isn't deepfried or covered with mayo.
It's probably a pretty sweet way to go and noone will ever suspect that it was a suicide.

Suicide is a very permanent way to avoid non-permanent problems in your life. If you think that you are just going to show all those fuckers that you think don't give a damn about then you gotta realize that you won't be around to see how well that you show them. Even attempting suicide in order to show somebody something often ends up with the person actually dead and still not being able to see how well you fixed them or showed them.


Life does get better as you get older. You get more confidence, you get more money, you get more freedom in your life. There was a time when I though that life wasn't worth living but DAMN I'm glad I'm here now.


Talk to somebody that you know and respect and tell them what you are thinking. Then take a walk through a field full of flowers on a bright sunny day and appreciate take time to really look at things and think about things.

Most painful method I can think of would be to arrange for yourself to be staked to the ground in the middle of Death Valley in the height of summertime with no protection from the sun, but all the food and water you could need. And sunburn to death. :eek:

ok, I'm confused... you are looking for the LEAST PAINLESS way to commit suicide... not the MOST PAINLESS way right?

the Least PAINLESS way.... Drinking a full bottle of Clorox or if you have access to some... ACID...

there is also the BLOOD EAGLE... but you will need some help for that. Basically, stake yourself out in the sun, have someone slit your back, reach in and pull your lungs out. let em dry.

One of these at around 130mph. http://www.railimages.co.uk/graphics/31-gner-447_white_rose.jpg
Just DON'T kill yourself when I need to go somewhere by train, there's NOTHING more annoying than selfish cunts who do that.

One of these at around 130mph. http://www.railimages.co.uk/graphics/31-gner-447_white_rose.jpg
Psst... no trains... read the first post...

ok, I'm confused... you are looking for the LEAST PAINLESS way to commit suicide... not the MOST PAINLESS way right?

the Least PAINLESS way.... Drinking a full bottle of Clorox or if you have access to some... ACID...

there is also the BLOOD EAGLE... but you will need some help for that. Basically, stake yourself out in the sun, have someone slit your back, reach in and pull your lungs out. let em dry.


Churchill wrote about the vikings doing that to british king in revenge for throwing their father into a snakepit or something.

Sorry, it's early.

Other than that, hanging if properly executed. Or you could just be black and near a crime scene in Texas or Florida.

Oh god no, don't bring this up. Having petted my sister's dog, calling my dear friend B______, and watching Beetlejuice, I'm more or less okay. So let's all shut up before I become depressed again, kay?

trust me, its not worth it...ive been on the wrong side of attempted suicides on a few occasions already, and its not exactly a fun experience.

I'll post what I always post when the topic of suicide arises.

Jumping off a building is most exciting.

Suicide strike is glorious.

Gun to the head is romantic.

Poison is the most classic. And very romantic.

Fuck that. I don't love anybody. Period. My parents are arseholes, my siblings are arseholes, and my goddamn hermit crab died. My girl-"friend" is a feminazi who slaps me whenever I so much as say "damn it," which I believe is universaly accepted as about the least serious swear word there is.
First, get yourself a longer lived pet like a dog or something and get a mutt because the pure bred ones are riddled with health problems. Next, the next time the feminazi slaps you slap her back and tell her it's the end. Believe me, there are a lot of fish in the sea. You just have to cast your nets out wider. Then, go to college, get a good job and get rich and laugh all the way to the bank. The best revenge on everyone is to have the last laugh and corpses don't laugh.

You need to get out of your rut and either join a club that is interested in an activity you really enjoy or work with the less fortunate--work with physically handicapped kids or the homeless. If you're using a home computer you've got way too much money and privlege to feel like you're at the end of your rope.

Oh god no, don't bring this up. Having petted my sister's dog, calling my dear friend B______, and watching Beetlejuice, I'm more or less okay. So let's all shut up before I become depressed again, kay?
is Cool... :cool:
if you want this closed.... Ask the mods to lock it.... or delete it.


glad things got better for ya.

Didn't know if you were really serious tho..

However, I always also post this:

Life may not be exactly pleasant, but it is at least not dull. Heave yourself into Hell today, and you may miss, tomorrow or next day, another Scopes trial, or another War to End War, or perchance a rich and buxom widow with all her first husband's clothes. I advocate hanging on as long as possible.

HL Mencken.

i'm entirely against suicide, but i understand hypothermia's one of the easiest ways to go. Just get cold enough until you can't stay awake.
Really though, there's got to be something better for you than killing yourself, man. Nothing's worth giving everything else up for. You live in an amazing world.

Jumping off a building is most exciting...

but remember to take a building you can handle... cuz for everyone listening... it'll be stupid to hear.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [Inhale] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

If you're using a home computer you've got way too much money and privlege to feel like you're at the end of your rope.


When I feel depressed I generally force myself to go out to eat somewhere nice.

It often cheers me up but i cant help but think i'm using poor Sima Verzino, the nice and lovely proprietress of a fine italian resturant that I really only go to when i fell like shit.

Oh well.

Semi-serious.

Seriously pissed but seriously wondering whether dieing was worth it.

Semi-serious.

Seriously pissed but seriously wondering whether dieing was worth it.


I was going to shoot myself once (loaded my winchester, cocked it, put it under the chin with my finger on the trigger) but decided against it.

Instead I went to the aforementioned resturaunt (marcellino ristorante on 12th (st) and northern, though i cant fathom why you'd be interested)

and ate wild boar ragout.

it was quite delicious.

*snip* Instead I went to the aforementioned resturaunt (marcellino ristorante on 12th (st) and northern, though i cant fathom why you'd be interested)

and ate wild boar ragout.

it was quite delicious.

Ummmm.... Tasty.

So go out and get something to eat. You'll feel better.

According to my psychiatrist, who has a lot to do with suicidals, the most painless/least painful method is to have an overdose of sleeping pills in the jacuzzi. You die from cold but don't wake up or feel anything.
Nothing, I can recommend.