NationStates Jolt Archive


Stupid Questions

Karenja
05-04-2005, 23:28
What is the stupidest question you've ever heard or read or seen etc.? Just as a matter of laughs. Everyone needs a really good laugh every once in a while. :D My personal favorite: "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself, is it considered a hostage situation?"
Portu Cale MK3
05-04-2005, 23:30
There is no such thing as stupid questions.

Only lots of inquisitive idiots.
Drunk commies reborn
05-04-2005, 23:36
I was actually going to post a series of stupid questions one per day, but never got past the second. Here are the two I managed to come up with.

1 If you have sex with your clone is it incest or masturbation?

2 If your loved one requests a pearl necklace will you have to spend any money?
Cybertoria
05-04-2005, 23:41
There is no such thing as stupid questions.

Only lots of inquisitive idiots.

I agree!
Keruvalia
05-04-2005, 23:43
I walked into a Wendy's and was wearing kippah and talit and the girl behind the counter said, "Are you Amish?"
Bitchkitten
05-04-2005, 23:44
Why do they have an interstate highway in Hawaii?
Drunk commies reborn
05-04-2005, 23:46
Why do they have an interstate highway in Hawaii?
Well, they're planning to build a tunnel.













If you use federal highway funds to build it they automatically call it an interstate, even if it doesn't cross state lines.
Bitchkitten
05-04-2005, 23:49
Well, if we're going to actually try to answer them, my roommate said sex with your clone is incest. He insists, apparently correctly, that identical twins qualify as clones. Since he has an identical twin, they both say it's incest.
Myrmidonisia
05-04-2005, 23:50
What is the stupidest question you've ever heard or read or seen etc.? Just as a matter of laughs. Everyone needs a really good laugh every once in a while. :D My personal favorite: "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself, is it considered a hostage situation?"

I was at a design review for a project we were delivering to the government. Since it was an airborne system, one of the government "engineers" wanted to know how much the sofware would weigh. To his everlasting credit, our imperturbable software presenter replied "...It depends on how many zeros we put in...".

The room just exploded.
Colodia
05-04-2005, 23:53
I was at a design review for a project we were delivering to the government. Since it was an airborne system, one of the government "engineers" wanted to know how much the sofware would weigh. To his everlasting credit, our imperturbable software presenter replied "...It depends on how many zeros we put in...".

The room just exploded.
I wanna get it, but I don't. I feel like an idiot. :(
Jaythewise
05-04-2005, 23:54
Where does the poop come out?

My 18 month old cousin, bloody moron, duhhhh. :rolleyes:


By the way girls dont poop.
Bitchkitten
05-04-2005, 23:55
I wanna get it, but I don't. I feel like an idiot. :(
Software doesn't weigh anything. It's the info inside the computer. This answer comes from the technologically retarded, so disregard if inaccurate.
Potaria
05-04-2005, 23:56
I walked into a Wendy's and was wearing kippah and talit and the girl behind the counter said, "Are you Amish?"

It must've been difficult to hold that laugh in!
The Resi Corporation
05-04-2005, 23:58
Someone asked me if I was an anime girl with big boobs once in the Nationstates General IRC room. :eek:
Myrmidonisia
06-04-2005, 00:06
Software doesn't weigh anything. It's the info inside the computer. This answer comes from the technologically retarded, so disregard if inaccurate.
You're exactly right. I think the goverment gal wanted to know how much the media would weigh, but the question just came out wrong. The reply was a classic.
Keruvalia
06-04-2005, 00:12
It must've been difficult to hold that laugh in!


Actually, I said, "Verily!"

She flinched a little. I then explained that I was Jewish.
Potaria
06-04-2005, 00:13
Actually, I said, "Verily!"

She flinched a little. I then explained that I was Jewish.

Okay, then it would've been difficult for me to hold a laugh in.
Keruvalia
06-04-2005, 00:19
Okay, then it would've been difficult for me to hold a laugh in.

Oh it was difficult ... but the poor creature seemed so serious.
Potaria
06-04-2005, 00:20
Oh it was difficult ... but the poor creature seemed so serious.

She probably was. I've encountered all too many stupid people in the Tomball/Woodlands/Willowbrook area...
Neo-Anarchists
06-04-2005, 00:20
This one hapenned when I was in fifth grade, but it was so funny that I still remember it.
"Hey, you've got glasses on! Is it because you're blind?"
The Land of the Enemy
06-04-2005, 00:25
A girl I was with on a ski trip upon finding out what those little brown things were in her clam chowder:
"There are clams in my clam chowder?!"

I have never seen a ski lodge get that quiet so fast before, nor have I since.
Potaria
06-04-2005, 00:25
A girl I was with on a ski trip upon finding out what those little brown things were in her clam chowder:
"There are clams in my clam chowder?!"

I have never seen a ski lodge ge that quiet so fast before, nor have I since.

That's just... Ugh...
Bitchkitten
06-04-2005, 00:27
She probably was. I've encountered all too many stupid people in the Tomball/Woodlands/Willowbrook area...

*snort giggle*
My cousin played football for Tomball. He fit right in.
Militant Feministia
06-04-2005, 00:29
What the fuck is WTF?
The Land of the Enemy
06-04-2005, 00:29
That's just... Ugh...

It's been seven years and we still have not let her forget that. :D
The Resi Corporation
06-04-2005, 00:29
Ooooh! I got another one!

This one time I was teaching this girl I knew how to golf, and was driving her around in the golf cart. The Course Marshall (basically a golf cop) passed by in his cart, and she asked what he did.
"Oh, he makes sure you don't drive into a sandtrap, or do donuts on the green," I said, being a smartass.
Then, in what seemed to be a cross between surprise and horror, she looked at me and asked...
"You can't eat donuts on the green?!?"
Potaria
06-04-2005, 00:30
*snort giggle*
My cousin played football for Tomball. He fit right in.

Pfff. Our team hasn't won a championship in ages. They hardly make it to the playoffs these days. They have an OPTION RUN offense, when most other teams in the area have an Ace Set Pass offense. Yes, our team blows.
Riverlund
06-04-2005, 00:41
I worked at a by-the-slice pizza place in my teens. I was washing some pans when I noticed a woman standing at the counter, looking at the pizzas. So, I cleaned up and headed up to the counter and waited for her order. She stood there, not saying a word, just looking from one pizza to another. I told her to let me know when she was ready to order and went back to what I was doing. About 10 minutes later she called me back up and asked:

"What's the difference between the cheese pizza and the pepperoni pizza?"

(Bear in mind that both pizzas are in clear view under the glass.)

I kept a straight face and replied politely, "The pepperoni pizza has cheese and pepperoni on it..." assuming she would fill in the blanks herself.

Then she asks, "And what about the cheese pizza?"

A long pause, as I try to decide if she's fucking with me; the expectant, somewhat vacant stare assured me she wasn't. I said, "The cheese pizza is plain, no other toppings, just cheese."

Then she asks, "No sauce?"

"Yes," I replied, through gritted teeth, "all our pizzas have sauce."

She then nodded sagely, and wandered away. :headbang:
The Land of the Enemy
06-04-2005, 00:45
I worked at a by-the-slice pizza place in my teens. I was washing some pans when I noticed a woman standing at the counter, looking at the pizzas. So, I cleaned up and headed up to the counter and waited for her order. She stood there, not saying a word, just looking from one pizza to another. I told her to let me know when she was ready to order and went back to what I was doing. About 10 minutes later she called me back up and asked:

"What's the difference between the cheese pizza and the pepperoni pizza?"

(Bear in mind that both pizzas are in clear view under the glass.)

I kept a straight face and replied politely, "The pepperoni pizza has cheese and pepperoni on it..." assuming she would fill in the blanks herself.

Then she asks, "And what about the cheese pizza?"

A long pause, as I try to decide if she's fucking with me; the expectant, somewhat vacant stare assured me she wasn't. I said, "The cheese pizza is plain, no other toppings, just cheese."

Then she asks, "No sauce?"

"Yes," I replied, through gritted teeth, "all our pizzas have sauce."

She then nodded sagely, and wandered away. :headbang:

Boy the more I live the more I have to agree wit hthat one professor who got in trouble for saying men are smarter than women.


Jesus... If people just looked around and listened, they'ed find he was right.
Potaria
06-04-2005, 00:45
-snip-

What a DUNCE! Well, I have a pizza place story from my sister, back in Colorado Springs.

She went to order a pizza with Canadian Bacon. There were only 15-year-olds working there, and as you might guess, problems erupted. One kid said "What's Canadian Bacon?", and my sister said "It's thin-sliced ham.". The kids went silent, and were trying to figure out what was going on. Finally, one kid said "We only have real bacon.", then my sister said "What about ham?". The kid at the counter said "Yes.", so she said "could you slice some ham and put it on the pizza?", and the dumb fuck said "We don't have ham.".

Fucking ridiculous!
Potaria
06-04-2005, 00:46
Boy the more I live the more I have to agree wit hthat one professor who got in trouble for saying men are smarter than women.


Jesus... If people just looked around and listened, they'ed find he was right.

*reads post*

You could say the same about what those extremist Feminists say.
Bitchkitten
06-04-2005, 00:51
Boy the more I live the more I have to agree wit hthat one professor who got in trouble for saying men are smarter than women.


Jesus... If people just looked around and listened, they'ed find he was right.ROFLMAO
I assume, considering your spelling, typing and punctuation, that you're not saying that with a straight face.
Jibea
06-04-2005, 00:52
"The Earth travels around the sun"- about 3 years ago by a nineth grader who was ugly and thought she was pretty. We now name these types of questions after her
Gurdenvazk
06-04-2005, 00:55
which way do the stairs go??? :headbang:
Riverlund
06-04-2005, 00:57
Heh. You always get the best of the worst in the service industry, on both sides of the counter.

A few years after the pizza place I was working at Tower Records. They were very strict about us wearing our nametags at all times while we were on the clock and out on the floor. I eventually realized that this was because it was the only thing shielding our brains from the mysterious rays that emanated from the doorway that turned people into idiots as soon as they walked in.

Once I had a woman ask me to help her find a song. Her description: "I was watching VH1 and heard it. I don't remember the name of it or who the artist is, but the video had a black guy playing a white piano, it was really sweet sounding and I think it was a love song. Do you know which one I'm talking about?"

Gee, lady, I don't know. Could you possibly be any more vague?

Sometimes our nametags were defective (or perhaps the person wearing it was):

A guy I worked with (well, technically worked under, as the idiot had been promoted to head of my department, nevermind the fact he'd been working there three months to my eighteen...) comes up to me as I'm stocking with a customer in tow and asks:

"Hey, do you remember what Pink Floyd album "Stairway to Heaven" is on? I've been trying to help this guy find it and it doesn't seem to be on any of the ones we have in stock."

I smile, and it's not a pleasant one. "That's because Pink Floyd didn't do "Stairway to Heaven." That's a Led Zeppelin song."

He says, "Oh! Um, ok." Then, to the customer "That'll be over here, filed under 'Z'."

I wish I'd had a camcorder...I would have loved to play that little bit for the General Manager, just to show him what a great decision he'd made promoting the guy.

See, Land of the Enemy, it's not just the females who lack higher brain function, it's characteristic of the entire species.
Antebellum South
06-04-2005, 01:05
"The Earth travels around the sun"- about 3 years ago by a nineth grader who was ugly and thought she was pretty. We now name these types of questions after her
Do you mean she said "Does the earth travel around the sun?"... because "The Earth travels around the sun" is not a question. Do you have dyslexia or something? Your posts are generally incoherent and have rather poor grammar
Belperia
06-04-2005, 01:07
The stupidest question I've heard in recent times is this:

"So how long do you think a 3 hour, 150 mile journey will take?"

A close second would be a friend, who in 1989 (when we were both 18) asked me if I'd fought in the Falklands War of 1982...

I mean... do the maths, ffs.. :headbang:
Bitchkitten
06-04-2005, 01:10
which way do the stairs go??? :headbang:
I LOVE that one! :p
Mhari
06-04-2005, 01:13
my friend once asked me why she was so tired the morning after we changedn to clocks in the spring, after all she added, shouldn't she be getting more sleep since daylight savings time made it a 25 hour day?
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:16
Do you mean she said "Does the earth travel around the sun?"... because "The Earth travels around the sun" is not a question. Do you have dyslexia or something? Your posts are generally incoherent and have rather poor grammar

No, how she said it was implying it was a question. Besides I dont think you ever saw my posts before
Mythotic Kelkia
06-04-2005, 01:16
"The Pope died!"

"Oh... Which one?"
Crapholistan
06-04-2005, 01:16
An old lady in a pub in Blackpool once asked me:
"Is it true that when the women in your country grow old and feel that they no longer contribute to society, they walk into the sea in the middle of the night and drown themselves?"

When I asked here where she got that idea, she said: "I seen it on the telly".
Antebellum South
06-04-2005, 01:18
No, how she said it was implying it was a question. Besides I dont think you ever saw my posts before
Oh I have, I recall some posts you made in threads about German history and what not.
Thypast
06-04-2005, 01:22
Well, any question by Jessica Simpson...
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:26
"The Pope died!"

"Oh... Which one?"

All of them. From peter to JP2 anyway if it was The Pope just died then maybe but since you said the Pope died then...

This reminds me of a conversation:
Me:"I fell"
Friend"You fell, When?"
Me"I dont know a few months ago"
F"Okay,"
we are walking and we meet with his friend
Me"Is it possible to fall up the stairs"(Note yes it is but the cons wont give you the right reason)
F"No"
Me"But if you are going up the stairs and bang your shin and go ow then loose your balance and fall down the stairs then wouldnt that be falling up the stairs because you started your fall while walking up the stairs until you lost your balance"
F"um"
Me"Why dont people slip as much as they fall now?"
F"Becaue slipping is not hip anymore"
Me"So slipping is a pickle?"
F"What?"
Me"Did you ever hear of a cool cucumber or a similar phrase?"
F"Yea"
Me"Well its not cool any more so its an old cucumber which is a pickle"
Me"Wait then they slip on hamburgers to get the pickles on!"
F2"I take off the Pickles"
Me"You sicken me"

Then it eventually ended. That is my logic, asking stupid questions to get answers to ask stupider questions ultimatly confusing people. There is another part but oh well.

That is alot of stupid questions.
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:27
Oh I have, I recall some posts you made in threads about German history and what not.

The prussian one or anyother one i ended up corrupting(such as a religion one turning into a WW1 and WW2 one by me :))?
Mythotic Kelkia
06-04-2005, 01:28
All of them. From peter to JP2 anyway if it was The Pope just died then maybe but since you said the Pope died then...



riiight....

correxion then:

"Popes die!"

"Oh... Which one?"

"All of them! Eventually!"
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:30
riiight....

correxion then:

"Popes die!"

"Oh... Which one?"

"All of them! Eventually!"

Funny and tricky, not stupid.
A stupid is more of "How much does a $5 pizza cost?", my brother was asked this at lil Ceasars. He made up stuff like the crust is a dollar, the sauce added 2.50, cheese was a dollar and so on
Nekone
06-04-2005, 01:31
"the message on the computer says 'Your password has expired. New password is missing.' and the little flashing thing is on New Password... What do I do now?"
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:32
This one hapenned when I was in fifth grade, but it was so funny that I still remember it.
"Hey, you've got glasses on! Is it because you're blind?"

So you could be legally blind which simply means you cant see/You suck at seeing without your glasses. I should know since I am almost legally blind. Damn largest letter on chart
Pschycotic Pschycos
06-04-2005, 01:33
I was passing a very, very, very old cemetery with my father one day when, being the VP of a coporation that he is, asked, "How many people are dead in there?"

Well, seeing that the fence is ten feet high and the gate is rusted shut...

"I don't know dad. Perhaps all of them?"
=============================
A few weeks ago, my friend and I were running through school, late for class when we encounter a series of doors. I stop, pull the door open, and keep going. He slams into the other door, hard, and exclaims, "Why won't the damn door open?" pushing as hard as he can. Of course, the sign reading "Pull" does him no good.

A classic, yet still hilarious one.
Mister Moose
06-04-2005, 01:34
The dumbest question I've heard came from my blind uncle. I was talking to him last night and he told me that someone had asked him, "Can you see me?"
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:35
I was passing a very, very, very old cemetery with my father one day when, being the VP of a coporation that he is, asked, "How many people are dead in there?"

Well, seeing that the fence is ten feet high and the gate is rusted shut...

"I don't know dad. Perhaps all of them?"

Hello again pschycotic, anyway what about the mourners, and maybe he wanted to know the exact number of dead.

Damn i cant think of any more person who was mentioned earlier but no name given questions. They are funny and stupid
Pschycotic Pschycos
06-04-2005, 01:38
Hello again pschycotic, anyway what about the mourners, and maybe he wanted to know the exact number of dead.

Damn i cant think of any more person who was mentioned earlier but no name given questions. They are funny and stupid


10 foot high fence, gate rusted shut, very old cemetery. There hasn't been people in there for ages. Also, I could count the number of gravestones on two hands. Other than that, hello again to you too.
Crapholistan
06-04-2005, 01:39
The dumbest question I've heard came from my blind uncle. I was talking to him last night and he told me that someone had asked him, "Can you see me?"

It reminds me of the library for the blind (full of audiotapes and books in braille) that is close to where I used to live. For weeks it had a sign behind the glass at the main entrance. The sign read "Please use other door".
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:42
A cheerleader i know is about as smart as well you'll find out

Her"What is a messiah"
me"Are you roman catholic or Jewish?"
Her"Yes"

Her"People eat sheep?"

Her"What is a hotdog made of?" (well that is a good question. They claim pig but i dont think so.)

damn i cant think of any other stupid stuff she said. Damn faulty 9-second short term memory.
Nekone
06-04-2005, 01:42
"are you asleep?"
Planners
06-04-2005, 01:42
Why, do people park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:44
I was passing a very, very, very old cemetery with my father one day when, being the VP of a coporation that he is, asked, "How many people are dead in there?"

Well, seeing that the fence is ten feet high and the gate is rusted shut...

"I don't know dad. Perhaps all of them?"
=============================
A few weeks ago, my friend and I were running through school, late for class when we encounter a series of doors. I stop, pull the door open, and keep going. He slams into the other door, hard, and exclaims, "Why won't the damn door open?" pushing as hard as he can. Of course, the sign reading "Pull" does him no good.

A classic, yet still hilarious one.

Pathetic.

I have trouble with new doors 75% of the time (even if i try for several minutes since you dont know who would lock it) but they didnt have signs
The Naro Alen
06-04-2005, 01:46
I have a Multicutural class in college this semester. The name of the class is Multicutural education, implying we would learn about cultures in America and learn how to teach to each one.

One of the projects we have to do is a Literature Log; take 10 books, write a synopsis and a few activities, and how they are considered multicultural. Easy enough instructions.

The professor finished explaining the project and asked if there were any questions. Someone raised her hand and the first words out of her mouth were "Do the books have to be multicultural?"

Wouldn't you expect that in a multicultural class, the projects have to pertain to multicultural themes?

As if that weren't bad enough, 5 minutes after it was explained again, another person raised her hand and asked the exact same question.

*sigh* :rolleyes:
Jibea
06-04-2005, 01:48
Why, do people park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

I think that is idiomatic like the English phrases

I am Hungry/thirst/scared(or afraid)/hot/cold/etc

I much perfer the italian

Ho fame/sete/paura/caldo/freddo/etc
Which translates to I have hunger/thirst/fear/hot/cold/etc

Or it can do with the fact that you drive on a driveway and on a parkway there is a lot of traffic and hardly anymoving so its like you're parked.
The Resi Corporation
06-04-2005, 01:54
I have a Multicutural class in college this semester. The name of the class is Multicutural education, implying we would learn about cultures in America and learn how to teach to each one.

One of the projects we have to do is a Literature Log; take 10 books, write a synopsis and a few activities, and how they are considered multicultural. Easy enough instructions.

The professor finished explaining the project and asked if there were any questions. Someone raised her hand and the first words out of her mouth were "Do the books have to be multicultural?"

Wouldn't you expect that in a multicultural class, the projects have to pertain to multicultural themes?

As if that weren't bad enough, 5 minutes after it was explained again, another person raised her hand and asked the exact same question.

*sigh* :rolleyes:
I think what we've learned here is that everyone is retarded in his or her own special way.

That aside, I've had stuff like that happen in my classes too. I chalk it up to kids these days and their newfangled MTV.
Jibea
06-04-2005, 02:01
The stupidest things ever:
MTV
ANY AND ALL MUSIC/ARTISTS
ANY PERSON WHO IS AN IDIOT AND RICHER THEN MOST PEOPLE WILL EVER BE DO TO INHERITANCE
ANY SPORTS (As in millionares from sports) ESPICALLY FAKE WRESTLING(SUCKS)
ANY ACTOR/ACTRESS(Almost sexist there)
KIDS NEXT DOOR (Notice how a villian is a German name Hienriech (Damn them))
MONO
COMMUNISM
NOT COMMUNISTIC THINGS