NationStates Jolt Archive

Have you ever gone through an evening so surreal that ending it was like waking from a dream? I think I am experiencing just that peculiarity right now.

It occurred to me this morning, as I was looking into the eyes of a beautiful girl, how little control I have over my emotions. My life, at least recently, has been spent denying even the concept of love. I had decided that since I was incapable of dealing with loss – that I would be better off, as would those around, if I never allowed myself to become attached to someone. Until this morning, I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of keeping myself well out of the path of this torturous, barbaric emotion. I was wrong, and would not have ever know just how wrong I was, were it not for the goodbye I had to give.

There is a girl, in the town of my upbringing, to whom I have always been attracted. Over the course of the last summer, things between us moved from friendly acquaintance into more amorous terms. The distance between us and other events of misfortune, combined with my own self proclaimed incapacity to become intimate on an emotional level had assured that it was an ill-fated relationship from the onset, and so it quickly turned into an on again / off again soap opera romance. I never paid much mind to it, at the time it seemed to trivial to me, and of my own ignorance and stubborn nature – I denied its value.

This weekend, I made a trip home to wish her and two other girls off, on a year long trip across Europe, for which they will be departing in nine days. Saturday night was spent in their company, at a going away party… amidst the throng of people at the party; I took her hand and asked her to dance. To this moment I’m still not even sure what made me do it, since until that day I had been trying to keep my distance in an effort to avoid unnecessarily complicating the situation. In any case, with a smile, she accepted my offer.

So we danced, toe to toe, cheek to cheek and just as tightly wound together as the laws of physics would allow – with hardly a break from the pace of dancing save the motion of my hand sweeping her wheat blonde hair away from her beautiful face, and her soft green eyes. The music was like a blanket to me, and delicately swaying with her in my arms again – I felt the world and its entire heavy burden was falling around us like the rain outside. It’s a dangerous way to feel in a moment like that… vulnerability becomes a crippling reality, and it’s easy to forget your place in the confusion and mystery of such complex emotions. I did.

We danced most of the night like this, well into morning, when we took our repose in a hotel room with about a half dozen other friends and slept the night away holding on like it was the last day for living. We remained in that primitive state of confused bliss well into morning, talking at length to each other – without ever uttering a sound. I wasn’t sure what to think about what had happened, and perhaps still don’t – just as I’m not sure how she felt in the morning since there was little mention of it outside of the sparkling smile she gave me when she woke up. Upon her waking, we visited for a few hours, I gave her a hug, kissed her softly on her forehead and said goodbye. I didn’t want to expose a great multitude of emotion knowing that it would be unfair as she is soon to be on her way, and too far gone to be expected to deal with that, but for the first time in a very, very long time – I think I truly allowed myself to experience something which I thought I has successfully closed the door on. As it turns out, we can’t choose whether or not to find love, it simply finds us – our own personal agenda be damned. It broke me a little to have to part with her, but at the same time, I’ve been happier the last day than I can remember being in the last four years.

I didn’t know until this morning, when I had to say goodbye, how much I loved her.






Well, now that all that sap is out, I would like to ask you about this.

So share some advice with me, tell me a story, what little moments have defined your idea or experiences with love? How did you know that love had found you? When did you realize the reality of it? Tell us about love.
:)

Wow, Lasc...

Unfortunately, I haven't experienced anything quite like that yet.

yeah love sucks huh, you will never have peace with it but with out it you may aswell not exist

Love is all you need.......

J. Lennin

You're a stronger person than I am if you can just let it go at that. I'd be chasing after her, or forever kicking myself that I didn't.

I used to believe in love. Thought it meant something, made the world make sense...and then I woke up to the reality that love is bunk...just a made up emotion so people can feel special.

Course, I'm probably a bit biased at this point in time...

I've been out with plenty of guys but I've never been in love, and nobody's ever been in love with me :( but i'm optimisic, I'm sure it will happen one day, afterall I'm still only a wee baby

I've been out with plenty of guys but I've never been in love, and nobody's ever been in love with me :( but i'm optimisic, I'm sure it will happen one day, afterall I'm still only a wee baby
Well, you're not a baby at all - and Tink, beleive me, the minute you stop looking - it will find you. Thats the strangest part, I had given up all hope of ever having found it - and had exhausted every effort denying it, but when it comes knocking its already found you, no amount of effort in this world can change what it does. Its a powerful beast, love is. I wish I could have admitted it to myself before she was leaving - now I've made the choice not to tell her, in the interest of fairness. I don't want to have her go away with that extra load on her... but when she comes back, if she still feels the way I think she does, I'm going to hold her tight and Im going to hold her high. I don't think I'll ever want to let her go again.

You're a stronger person than I am if you can just let it go at that. I'd be chasing after her, or forever kicking myself that I didn't.
Strong or stupid, I haven't decided yet.

So share some advice with me, tell me a story, what little moments have defined your idea or experiences with love? How did you know that love had found you? When did you realize the reality of it? Tell us about love.
:)
i used to have a pretty bitter view on love... that 'there is no such thing' etc. now i do believe there is, and that it must be a wonderful thing, but, sadly, i have never been in love nor have i ever been in a relationship of any sort. i suck :(
they say uni is the best place to meet like-minded & intelligent women, but i'm coming up to the end of my second year here and i can't see how that's true. i'm also pretty hopeless and get all nervous around women i like... yes, its patheticm and its not something i'm proud of, nor is it something that does me any favours. there was a girl i was interested in last year, but i shyed away to the extent i never see her or any of my other friends (who she hung out with) from last year at all now. to reiterate, i suck.

thats why i like it here on NS so much :D in RL i suck, but here i can be me without all the crap bits :cool:

i used to have a pretty bitter view on love... that 'there is no such thing' etc. now i do believe there is, and that it must be a wonderful thing, but, sadly, i have never been in love nor have i ever been in a relationship of any sort. i suck :(
they say uni is the best place to meet like-minded & intelligent women, but i'm coming up to the end of my second year here and i can't see how that's true. i'm also pretty hopeless and get all nervous around women i like... yes, its patheticm and its not something i'm proud of, nor is it something that does me any favours. there was a girl i was interested in last year, but i shyed away to the extent i never see her or any of my other friends (who she hung out with) from last year at all now. to reiterate, i suck.

thats why i like it here on NS so much :D in RL i suck, but here i can be me without all the crap bits :cool:you see, that's where you're going wrong! the best place is in the Lake district! near Windermere if you want to be a bit more exact

you see, that's where you're going wrong! the best place is in the Lake district! near Windermere if you want to be a bit more exact
ahh... i hear there's this little farm round there that's perfect for finding true love ;)

i used to have a pretty bitter view on love... that 'there is no such thing' etc. now i do believe there is, and that it must be a wonderful thing, but, sadly, i have never been in love nor have i ever been in a relationship of any sort. i suck :(
they say uni is the best place to meet like-minded & intelligent women, but i'm coming up to the end of my second year here and i can't see how that's true. i'm also pretty hopeless and get all nervous around women i like... yes, its patheticm and its not something i'm proud of, nor is it something that does me any favours. there was a girl i was interested in last year, but i shyed away to the extent i never see her or any of my other friends (who she hung out with) from last year at all now. to reiterate, i suck.

thats why i like it here on NS so much :D in RL i suck, but here i can be me without all the crap bits :cool:
Being shy can be a problem, I know a lot of people who for a lack of boldness went unloved for a long period of time. But you are also gifted with strength of emotion, thats something the bold may never know. Everything you think and feel is only magnified by the fact that for you, it holds that much more value in the pride you take in it. You don't 'suck' at all PM, it will happen, of that much I can assure you - just keep your eyes open so you see it when it comes by, these things are tricky affairs, you don't want to miss the chance for not having been looking. ;)

you see, that's where you're going wrong! the best place is in the Lake district! near Windermere if you want to be a bit more exact
see ;)

ahh... i hear there's this little farm round there that's perfect for finding true love ;)
:D I think you might be right :fluffle:

I used to believe in love. Thought it meant something, made the world make sense...and then I woke up to the reality that love is bunk...just a made up emotion so people can feel special.

Course, I'm probably a bit biased at this point in time...
Technically your right but its still apart of life, chin up

Being shy can be a problem, I know a lot of people who for a lack of boldness went unloved for a long period of time. But you are also gifted with strength of emotion, thats something the bold may never know. Everything you think and feel is only magnified by the fact that for you, it holds that much more value in the pride you take in it. You don't 'suck' at all PM, it will happen, of that much I can assure you - just keep your eyes open so you see it when it comes by, these things are tricky affairs, you don't want to miss the chance for not having been looking. ;)
being shy is a problem, but cheers for the encouragement :)

of course everyone knows i love Tink :fluffle:


:D I think you might be right :fluffle:
http://www.clicksmilies.com/auswahl/liebe028

I have a story thats similar, but I won't be able to tell it as eloquently as LM.

I was dating a girl who lived about a half hour drive from my house for two years. We did and went everywhere with eachother, I saw her as more than a girlfriend , she was my best friend aswel. She, being older than me decided to go to university a fair distance away. Whenever she came back it would almost be like old times until I made one major mistake. That was going to the same university the next year, it was a good uni that did the course I wanted but the main reason was because of her. I loved her so much.
When I got there and saw her around she just didn't want to know me any more. At least you can remember it being perfect and nothing can take that away from you LM

n e way you still rock ;) :D

Technically your right but its still apart of life, chin up


Thanks.

I have a story thats similar, but I won't be able to tell it as eloquently as LM.

I was dating a girl who lived about a half hour drive from my house for two years. We did and went everywhere with eachother, I saw her as more than a girlfriend , she was my best friend aswel. She, being older than me decided to go to university a fair distance away. Whenever she came back it would almost be like old times until I made one major mistake. That was going to the same university the next year, it was a good uni that did the course I wanted but the main reason was because of her. I loved her so much.
When I got there and saw her around she just didn't want to know me any more. At least you can remember it being perfect and nothing can take that away from you LM

n e way you still rock ;) :D
Thanks Gataway, and as far as your love, with strength of sentiment like that you have nothing to fear. Just make sure you hold her high when you find her. :)

being shy is a problem, but cheers for the encouragement :)

of course everyone knows i love Tink :fluffle:



http://www.clicksmilies.com/auswahl/liebe028
and someday soon maybe we'll dance toe to toe and cheek to cheek (cept i'm kinda short so i dunno if cheek to cheek will really work, unless I'm wearing heels)


http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/love/25.gif

I used to believe in love. Thought it meant something, made the world make sense...and then I woke up to the reality that love is bunk...just a made up emotion so people can feel special.

Course, I'm probably a bit biased at this point in time...
Well, I think we two probably share a lot in common. For a multitude of reasons, I attempted to rationalize an inadmission of love. I can't deny it any longer though - I have a feeling that when it finds you, you won't be able to deny it either. ;)

Love is a weakness. Oh I have no doubt that it exists but like so many emotions, it only clouds objectivity and it means that people cannot function rationally. When people cannt function rationally they become useless. The strong should turn their backs on love, it will do nothing but rob them of their strength if they let it persist.

Love is a very strong force... In fact, it's the one emotion that I haven't conquered (or at least supressed)...

I'd consider myself a fairly stoic person... I'm not emotionally numb, but I keep myself on an even keel (never too high, never too low... never allow emotions to overcome reason, etc)...

Yet my fiancee has this ability to make me actually cry (not maliciously, mind you)...

That statement can't be fully appreciated unless you understand that I never cry... I'm not a complete neanderthal, but I'm far from being a sensitive guy... In fact, it's so foreign to me that I almost enjoy it for its sheer novelty...lol I don't like how "weak" it makes me feel, but it's such a rare experience, that I'm fascinated by it... Given the choice, though, I'd still prefer if it never happened...

But this girl has successfully dragged it out of me on a few occasions over the 8+ years I've known her...

She's also the only aspect of my life that I can truly become angry over... And I get angry about as often as I cry (in fact, the two usually go together... a trait I believe I've inherited from my mother, who often cries when she's angry...)

And of course, you might be thinking that it doesn't speak highly of love if it's bringing out these negative emotions... However, I think it's just the contrary:

I simply don't care enough about anything for it to ever have a strong enough effect on me to get this sort of reaction... But I do care so much about her that it breaks through my defenses...

And would I change that? Nope... I may dislike being shaken up, or reminded that I'm not as solid as I think I am, but it's somehow worth it...

And note that this sort of sappy talk isn't my usual thing, either... However, your post really struck me, and I figured, "if he can do it, why not?" lol

Love is a weakness. Oh I have no doubt that it exists but like so many emotions, it only clouds objectivity and it means that people cannot function rationally. When people cannt function rationally they become useless. The strong should turn their backs on love, it will do nothing but rob them of their strength if they let it persist.
you never have been in love have you? Either that or someone screwed you over.

Love is a weakness. Oh I have no doubt that it exists but like so many emotions, it only clouds objectivity and it means that people cannot function rationally. When people cannt function rationally they become useless. The strong should turn their backs on love, it will do nothing but rob them of their strength if they let it persist.
Love can be a weakness but it can also be very powerful, it gives people drive and a will to exist, however much an illusion it is, like most things we have it for a reason

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone how you feel about them. No matter how awkward the situation may be....its never wrong to be true to one's emotions. Dont let her physical absence make you think that it can never be. You obviously shared some very special moments with this girl. I've found that its not the quantity of time you spend with someone, but the quality. If your heart tells you that she felt the same fire inside as you did during your embrace.....then dont ever let her slip through your fingers.

and someday soon maybe we'll dance toe to toe and cheek to cheek (cept i'm kinda short so i dunno if cheek to cheek will really work, unless I'm wearing heels)


http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/love/25.gif
cheek to... um... neck it is then :p
i'll stoop, don't worry ;)

cheek to... um... neck it is then :p
i'll stoop, don't worry ;)
lol, ok http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/55.gif

and Lasc you have a tg

I don't know about love anymore...

Love requires complete trust selflessness and devotion, and I don't know if I can give that anymore, or even want to give it anymore.

I just came out of a very long and serious relationship that ended pretty much out of the blue. I realised that my partner had lied to herself and or me, probably both for a very long time about her feelings to me, and in making promises that she'd broken in swearing to be open and honest about absolutely everything, even if it hurt my feelings. I think love and real relationships require both people to communicate openly about how they feel about things, saying when something upsets them, and talking about it and through it until both can come to some semblance of agreement on it. I always thought that that was how two people grew really close over time.

After 5 and a half years together though, I don't know anymore. I'm not sure if it really is attainable because I know I tried my hardest to do all those things, even over subjects that were extremely difficult to talk about for me. I just don't think I'll ever find someone that will be willing to commit to a relationship like that, I don't think the majority of people want to do anything like that nowadays...

Just so you know, this relationship had all of the things you're talking about... laying awake with each other, just gazing into each others eyes for hours... Walks along beaches and lakes, dinners, lunches the whole 9 yards. Hell I proposed to the girl on the mersey ferry at sunset a year and 3 months ago, and she accepted.

So do I beleive in love? Yeah, I guess I do, I just don't think that people can ever be honest and caring enough to keep it alive.

I've been screwed over so many times, I don't even want to think about it. When I finally do find a guy with an interest in me, they are scared away by the military stuff. And those that manage to stay either cheat on me, don't realize how much they still need to grow up, or have treated the whole thing like a cruel game. I keep consoling myself with the thought that when I leave for active duty, the ratio will be in my favor, but what will that accomplish? More military guys who cheat and lie and only show interest for one or two selfish reasons?

The game sucks any way you look at it.

Love is a very strong force... In fact, it's the one emotion that I haven't conquered (or at least supressed)...
I'm learning more and more every day that passes, that it's one emotion that simply cannot be conquered. It sounds to me like you have something truly magical there SSGX, you're a lucky man.

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone how you feel about them. No matter how awkward the situation may be....its never wrong to be true to one's emotions. Dont let her physical absence make you think that it can never be. You obviously shared some very special moments with this girl. I've found that its not the quantity of time you spend with someone, but the quality. If your heart tells you that she felt the same fire inside as you did during your embrace.....then dont ever let her slip through your fingers.
Well Peech, I think the same way - and ordinarilly I would have told her without hesitation how I felt. There has been enough examples in my life of the error in not doing so. However, in this particular instance, I choose to leave it up to chance - I think I said more with actions that night than I ever could with words. If she feels even half the way I do then she will have noticed that - and I truly think she did. But with her leaving, I also must remain fair to her, and let her go. Dragging at her heels is not the way I wish to be remembered should anything ever happen - I think the way things are, and the way they were left to continue being, proves that my actions were made in the best interest of everyone. If I am fortunate enough, hope will persist and I will one day get to hold her again. If not, Im still far more lucky than some for having had even the little bit of time we did together, and for having learned the lessons that love continues to teach me. ;)

-snip-
The game sucks any way you look at it.
I guess it sucks on both sides huh

I guess it sucks on both sides huh
Amen, brother.

I've been screwed over so many times, I don't even want to think about it. When I finally do find a guy with an interest in me, they are scared away by the military stuff. And those that manage to stay either cheat on me, don't realize how much they still need to grow up, or have treated the whole thing like a cruel game. I keep consoling myself with the thought that when I leave for active duty, the ratio will be in my favor, but what will that accomplish? More military guys who cheat and lie and only show interest for one or two selfish reasons?

The game sucks any way you look at it.


Ahhh, a fellow military member. When do you ship?

Well Peech, I think the same way - and ordinarilly I would have told her without hesitation how I felt. There has been enough examples in my life of the error in not doing so. However, in this particular instance, I choose to leave it up to chance - I think I said more with actions that night than I ever could with words. If she feels even half the way I do then she will have noticed that - and I truly think she did. But with her leaving, I also must remain fair to her, and let her go. Dragging at her heels is not the way I wish to be remembered should anything ever happen - I think the way things are, and the way they were left to continue being, proves that my actions were made in the best interest of everyone. If I am fortunate enough, hope will persist and I will one day get to hold her again. If not, Im still far more lucky than some for having had even the little bit of time we did together, and for having learned the lessons that love continues to teach me. ;)
Wow mate, that was almost inspiring

Ahhh, a fellow military member. When do you ship?
AFROTC, to be precise. I commission May '06, so still a while, but I'm looking forward to it. All the preliminary training is done. I find out my classification 2 May, and from there it's just finishing up my degree.

I hope you find a love that is deserving of what you have to offer Lasc. You are a dream come true for some lucky woman. May love find you at the right place ,right time, and with the right person. :)

AFROTC, to be precise. I commission May '06, so still a while, but I'm looking forward to it. All the preliminary training is done. I find out my classification 2 May, and from there it's just finishing up my degree.


'Grats in advance. I'm sure you'll make a fine officer, I mean, what kind of a jerk officer would play NS?

You should come hang out in IRC sometime... Couple AF / Ex-AFROTC guys in there...

'Grats in advance. I'm sure you'll make a fine officer, I mean, what kind of a jerk officer would play NS?

You should come hang out in IRC sometime... Couple AF / Ex-AFROTC guys in there...
Expect a TG soon.

I've been screwed over so many times, I don't even want to think about it. When I finally do find a guy with an interest in me, they are scared away by the military stuff. And those that manage to stay either cheat on me, don't realize how much they still need to grow up, or have treated the whole thing like a cruel game. I keep consoling myself with the thought that when I leave for active duty, the ratio will be in my favor, but what will that accomplish? More military guys who cheat and lie and only show interest for one or two selfish reasons?

The game sucks any way you look at it.
Gael, you're much to amazing a girl to talk like that. I know you've had some rough patches - indeed I myself have gone through hell, mostly a self inflicted one as I've come to realize. Keep that head up high, keep smiling - and don't deny someone the joy of getting to know you for these bad experiences - you will be loved, indeed you may already be, just keep those eyes open. :)

[snip]

I didn’t know until this morning, when I had to say goodbye, how much I loved her.

Well, now that all that sap is out, I would like to ask you about this.

So share some advice with me, tell me a story, what little moments have defined your idea or experiences with love? How did you know that love had found you? When did you realize the reality of it? Tell us about love.
:)That sounds truly wonderful. My advice? Keep communicating with her - being away from a person you love is tough (I've been there), but losing that person completely because you are being too cautious is worse.

(Just now read Peeches's comment... I agree very much with what she said. And also wanted to add that, to me, the wisdom of the saying "If you love someone, let her go" is about giving a person the freedom to choose her own way - and most importantly, that includes giving her the freedom to choose you.)

How did I know that love found me? (Nice way of putting that, btw... it does always seem to find one when it's least expected.) I'm not totally sure I should post the story here (it's wonderfully romantic to me, and a story I love to tell, but I like to know exactly who my audience is), but you are welcome to IM/TG/email me! :)

lol, ok http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/happy/55.gif
hehehe awesome smilie :p

Sharon, in the first few weeks of our relationship, used to babble endlessly into the phone. I would jsut be sitting on my mom's couch, listening to her pointlessly revealing every minute detail of everything she was doing. In retrospect, she was damn nervous. Having jsut ocme out of a whole string of shitty relationships, I guess she was just worried about fucking this one up.
At any rate, I would sit on the couch, and listen. Now, she would talk really fast, so I wouldn't really get all the words, but that wasn't important. I was just learning her voice. Not really sure when it happened, but i just kind of figured out that I loved her. (i only put that in the past tense for grammatical purposes)
I was lying on top of her when i told her, and it scared the bejeezus outta me to do it. It didn't help that, jsut to be an ass, she said "really? me too!" then laughed, looked up, and got all serious. then reciprocated.
Of course, things have gotten a little more complicated since. there was the drama (easiest way of putting heart-wrenching horror) of transitioning from high school to college, then there was the drama (see previous parenthesis) or transitioning to a long distance relationship. Now of course, there's a new drama, where i don't know what's going on with her, and neither does she, but it kept me up till 9:30 in the morning yesterday.

That sounds truly wonderful. My advice? Keep communicating with her - being away from a person you love is tough (I've been there), but losing that person completely because you are being too cautious is worse.

(Just now read Peeches's comment... I agree very much with what she said. And also wanted to add that, to me, the wisdom of the saying "If you love someone, let her go" is about giving a person the freedom to choose her own way - and most importantly, that includes giving her the freedom to choose you.)

How did I know that love found me? (Nice way of putting that, btw... it does always seem to find one when it's least expected.) I'm not totally sure I should post the story here (it's wonderfully romantic to me, and a story I love to tell, but I like to know exactly who my audience is), but you are welcome to IM/TG/email me! :)
Coming from someone as charmed and charming as you, I'm sure its an amazing story - and I for one would love to hear it. :)

As far as giving her the freedom to choose me, trust me, I have. I'm not letting her go from my heart, I just want her to get the experiences she craves in travel without worrying about whatever she may or may not be leaving behind. As far as being over cautious, well, I've lived a dangerous life when it comes to love - I think I've handled this situation as good as I can. Do I wish I could have admitted as much to myself earlier on? Yes, not a day will go by I won't think of that - I can be sure of only as much. I'll miss her, but she will be back - and if this is the love I think it is, it will come back with her. ;)

Expect a TG soon.


Replied :D

Well Peech, I think the same way - and ordinarilly I would have told her without hesitation how I felt. There has been enough examples in my life of the error in not doing so. However, in this particular instance, I choose to leave it up to chance - I think I said more with actions that night than I ever could with words. If she feels even half the way I do then she will have noticed that - and I truly think she did. But with her leaving, I also must remain fair to her, and let her go. Dragging at her heels is not the way I wish to be remembered should anything ever happen - I think the way things are, and the way they were left to continue being, proves that my actions were made in the best interest of everyone. If I am fortunate enough, hope will persist and I will one day get to hold her again. If not, Im still far more lucky than some for having had even the little bit of time we did together, and for having learned the lessons that love continues to teach me. ;)Just be careful - women (and men, as well) can be quite uncertain, and it's possible that she'll know how you feel the morning after, but later on, doubts may creep in. I think it'd be worth telling her with words (and I don't care who says "actions speak louder than words" - that may be true in general, but sometimes words last longer than actions) how you feel. I'm not necessarily saying you should tell her you love her (only you can know when it is the right time to say that), but perhaps tell her that you really care about her and are thinking about her.

Coming from someone as charmed and charming as you, I'm sure its an amazing story - and I for one would love to hear it. :)I will tell it to you soon. :)

As far as giving her the freedom to choose me, trust me, I have. I'm not letting her go from my heart, I just want her to get the experiences she craves in travel without worrying about whatever she may or may not be leaving behind. As far as being over cautious, well, I've lived a dangerous life when it comes to love - I think I've handled this situation as good as I can. Do I wish I could have admitted as much to myself earlier on? Yes, not a day will go by I won't think of that - I can be sure of only as much. I'll miss her, but she will be back - and if this is the love I think it is, it will come back with her. ;)Remember that relationships - even the purest, most passionate ones (or potential ones) - require effort... as I said before, keep communicating with her. And maybe you'll be the one she calls or emails for support when she's homesick or not getting along with her travel partners (which will happen - traveling for an extended period in foreign countries is amazingly wonderful, but it can also be difficult).

Just be careful - women (and men, as well) can be quite uncertain, and it's possible that she'll know how you feel the morning after, but later on, doubts may creep in. I think it'd be worth telling her with words (and I don't care who says "actions speak louder than words" - that may be true in general, but sometimes words last longer than actions) how you feel. I'm not necessarily saying you should tell her you love her (only you can know when it is the right time to say that), but perhaps tell her that you really care about her and are thinking about her.

I say just call regularly - not every day, but...every week or every 2 weeks. Let her know you're thinking of her, miss her, etc. But still leaves her free to explore Europe...

I say just call regularly - not every day, but...every week or every 2 weeks. Let her know you're thinking of her, miss her, etc. But still leaves her free to explore Europe...I agree - and you can also fill her in on how things are going at home. When you're away for that long, it's always wonderful to hear from friends and family, to be reminded that they're thinking of you!

Thanks to all who have responded for the stories and suggestions - they have been noted, and are appreciated. :)

As far as keeping in touch - well, thats never been a strong point of mine, but I will try. In the end though, it doesnt concern me enough that nothing may come of this - I'm happy just to have been able to have had such a night. It may not be one that I look back and judge all others by - but it was incredible nevertheless, and will not be forgotten. Whats strange to me, is that given the inevitability of my missing her, I feel that I ought to be saddened and unhappy by her leaving... and yet, despite the fact that it makes me sad to see her go, Im happy for what we've shared - and its a persistent feeling that seems to be a lasting one. I hope it lasts a long time. :)

Thanks to all who have responded for the stories and suggestions - they have been noted, and are appreciated. :)

As far as keeping in touch - well, thats never been a strong point of mine, but I will try. In the end though, it doesnt concern me enough that nothing may come of this - I'm happy just to have been able to have had such a night. It may not be one that I look back and judge all others by - but it was incredible nevertheless, and will not be forgotten. Whats strange to me, is that given the inevitability of my missing her, I feel that I ought to be saddened and unhappy by her leaving... and yet, despite the fact that it makes me sad to see her go, Im happy for what we've shared - and its a persistent feeling that seems to be a lasting one. I hope it lasts a long time. :)
For what it's worth, it's nice to see you genuinely happy for once.

For what it's worth, it's nice to see you genuinely happy for once.
agreed!

Heh, yeah - I feel a little silly for having been so miserable all this time now. I'm not saying that the pangs of greif won't rear their ugly head again, who knows about that, but at least I'm happy for now. Either way, thanks girls.

*bump*

C'mon people! Share some uplifting stories! :)

Love is good and great and all, until you lose it. Then it's the worst thing in the world.

Love is good and great and all, until you lose it. Then it's the worst thing in the world.
that's not uplifting. neither was mine, particularly, but still. c'mon.

Hey, I'm abit new to this site/game but I'm really impressed at how open you are on this forum. It's a sign of a very strong person to be able to accept love and not chase after it. :)
I've decided to tell you guys about how I'm feeling at the moment love-wise. You probably don't want to hear it, but hey!
I'm in a relationship at the moment, 4 months into it to be exact and it's going really well. My last boyfriend and I split up nearly a year ago after two years of going out and for those two years i thought i couldn't be happier. I believed that how I felt about my ex was love and he always said he loved me too.
With my current boyfriend It's so different and now I'm beginning to doubt that I was ever in love before. You see with my ex I saw him as a protector, he looked after me and cared about me. I have the feeling that I was in love with being in that relationship and not actually In love with my ex.
Now I'm experiencing a totally different kind of relationship. When I think about him my stomach turns upside down, and I always want to be with him. At the moment We're 160 or so miles apart and I'm missing him so much. I know 4 months isnt very long at all to be with someone and I'm getting a little worried I'm becoming abit too attached already.
Also from the summer he's going to be working away for a year and so we're going to be at almost opposite ends of the country and I'm scared that he's going to want to do the sensible thing and split up to make things easier for both of us. Currently this is his longest relationship and I have the feeling he's going to get all commitmentphobic on me soon.
Anyway, that's my contribution, if anyone has any views or advice, they'll be appreciated.

Jugendherberge

Hey, I'm abit new to this site/game but I'm really impressed at how open you are on this forum. It's a sign of a very strong person to be able to accept love and not chase after it. :)


Well, its a lot easier to open up on here than in real life. Think about it. All anyone knows about you is your screen name and post count. Even if you met another NSer in the street you wouldn't know it. So you can reveal things because there will be no-one giving you funny looks in public after you admit something, because they don't know who you are.

That, and the fact that all the assholes get banned.

<snipitty snip snip snipperoo> Anyway, that's my contribution, if anyone has any views or advice, they'll be appreciated.

Thanks Jugend. That was an excellent contribution! For what it's worth, I hope you find some way to make it all work - and I hope you exhaust every effort to that end. Long distance alone shouldn't stop you from having a successful relationship, I know plenty of people who have pulled off quite well. I'm glad that you have realized what you have early on - that is, I think, a very important part of it. As far as your current BF being a possible commit-a-phobe, if this is his longest relationship to date maybe you have already changed that in him? I don't know what it takes to truly change that, being a bit of one myself... but honestly, the right girl can make any man want to be a better person in that respect! Have faith in yourself, it will all work out well, these things have a way of doing that! :)

Blame it on springtime folks, I'm twitter-painted (http://users2.ev1.net/~disneyelvis/Images/Disney/Bambi/FlowerNHisGirlfriend.gif) ! :)

Ah, love... to not know love is not to live at all. I have known it a few times.

The first time I saw it, I ran away. The emotions were too strong and I couldn't deal with that at 17. And my father had always said to make sure the other person loves you more... So how could this guy possibly love me more? I was bursting at the seams. So I ran.

It tool me a few years to realize that is not how I wanted to live and love, so next time I met love, I jumped without a safety net... and crashed. But I learned a lot about myself.

And I jumped again... and I didn't crash (well not right away but that's another story). I was actually flying, free. Those were the most intense years of my life, but oh so worth it.

In the end, out of love for me (long story), that man actually let me go.

Not all love stories are tragic, but they sure help you value it more...

Thanks so much.
Just another thing quickly(although i dont know if anyone could ever mention such an important thing quickly). I dont know how to and if i even should tell my boyfriend how i feel about him. Will it just scare him off d'you think?

With my ex, telling him i loved him was such a non-event, i dont even remember when i told him or when he told me anymore.
I just want my boyfriend to know how *I* feel about him, I don't want him to feel like i expect him to feel the same or anything, but i don't know if he'll understand that.

Goodness I'm letting it all out today, aren't I?!!

Jugendherberge xx :)

TCG, I'm glad you had the chance to at least experience love. Some people in the world never even allow themselves the opporyunity - myself included until recently. It's a shame I was too blind and stubborn to realize it earlier, but hell, I know it now - and its got me three shades of blissful... so what the heck!

Not all love stories are tragic, but they sure help you value it more...

I might be one of the few - but I find that tragedy can be inspirational when it comes to love. It motivated me to get off my ass - I've seen more good come from tragedy than complacency. I am dealing with a lot of tragedy in my life, a lot of it self inflicted. Until a few days ago I was ready to throw in the towel, between the grief I've caused countless others and heartbreak I've given and recieved for the last four years I figured I would be doing the world a favour by leaving love to the ones I felt knew how to handle it. I still don't know whats going to happen when I come off of this high and realize that this girl is gone - but for the time being it has instilled in me a sense of hope that I had only received faint glimmers of before. Granted, there have been many girls (even some online, which I now realize to be a major fallacy on my part) who have helped me to see that light at the end of the tunnel - I just couldn't get there until now. I've got some problems to deal with, and I continue to lead a somewhat tragic life, but at least after feeling that way again I can say that I have hope. Thats more than I could ever have said before.

So share some advice with me, tell me a story, what little moments have defined your idea or experiences with love? How did you know that love had found you? When did you realize the reality of it? Tell us about love.
:)
Wow! Well-written, LM! Good job.

I'm fond of saying that "love is a decision," but sometimes it's one that's made for us by love sneaking up and blind-siding us. This has only happened to me once in my entire life. I wound up marrying her. We now have five children ( three from her prior marriage, two together ) and seven grandchildren ( and counting! ). Be warned! LOL! :D

Thanks so much.
Just another thing quickly(although i dont know if anyone could ever mention such an important thing quickly). I dont know how to and if i even should tell my boyfriend how i feel about him. Will it just scare him off d'you think?

With my ex, telling him i loved him was such a non-event, i dont even remember when i told him or when he told me anymore.
I just want my boyfriend to know how *I* feel about him, I don't want him to feel like i expect him to feel the same or anything, but i don't know if he'll understand that.

Goodness I'm letting it all out today, aren't I?!!

Jugendherberge xx :)
Beleive me, the biggest mistake you can ever make is not letting someone know - and I do know that from personal experience in the worst of all possible ways. Its not a mistake you want to make.

That said, you don't want to over do it. You can't just go out whole hog proclaiming your undying love and devotion without a little backlash. The shock is simply too much for some people - I suggest using more subtle terms than the all-powerful 'L'-bomb, tell him you care - let him know that you want to be with him... you'll know when the time is right to say the big one. At that, it should be at a time when you feel it may be reciprocated, theres nothing worse than putting your heart on the line like that and not getting the same level of confirmation in return - don't overexpose yourself unless you're ready for a little bit of pain, love does hurt sometimes.

Sometimes, at least in my opinon, actions speak louder than any words you could ever speak anyway - do the little things that show him how you feel. For me, the one action I really hold sacred is the kiss to the forehead, its reserved for only the most special of girls, and I dont give it away unless I really mean it. People in relationships are suprisingly savvy to this kind of stuff - they pick up on it right away. Touching your hand to the small of someones back, getting the door, and so on. Little moments; laying wrapped up in each other and not feeling the urge to talk, resting cheek to cheek... it all shows.

One of my favorite ways of learning how a girl feels about me is the lock test. When I'm taking a girl to my car, I unlock and open her door for her first - then walk around to my door - if she starts looking through the CD book for music to play, or looks at her cell to see if shes missed any calls... shes thinking of herself... but, if she leans over and pulls up the lock on the drivers side to let me in... oh I love that, that one sells me every time! Not to say that if a girl doesnt that she doesnt or couldnt love me in return, but the former is just so... wow, yeah!

Little moments! ;)

Wow! Well-written, LM! Good job.

I'm fond of saying that "love is a decision," but sometimes it's one that's made for us by love sneaking up and blind-siding us. This has only happened to me once in my entire life. I wound up marrying her. We now have five children ( three from her prior marriage, two together ) and seven grandchildren ( and counting! ). Be warned! LOL! :D
Warning heeded! ;)

I've got some problems to deal with, and I continue to lead a somewhat tragic life, but at least after feeling that way again I can say that I have hope. Thats more than I could ever have said before.

And Hope is a wonderous thing..... :) I Wish more people were satisfied with hope

Jugendeherberge xx :)

And Hope is a wonderous thing..... :) I Wish more people were satisfied with hope

Jugendeherberge xx :)
I'm learning to be satisfied more and more every day Jugend. :)

Thank you again! goodness, you're all so good at advice. Would be great to hear some other peoples experiences of loving/losing etc... Letting it out really made me feel better about my relationship today. Sometimes talking to people you'll never know is the best thing you could do, no inhibitions. LM- i completely know what you mean with the car door thing, it shows equality and care in a relationship, two very important things.

Jugendeherberge xx :)

Woman in general are just a pain in the arse and there are plenty of them out there so just move on drink a pint and find another one...after all love is nothing more than a relative term and feeling... more than anything its probablly just lust.... would you feel the same if she was 450 lbs and stank.. probablly not... so as said above move on!! and stop whining on a forum no less

silky moments of "true-love" are rare, the embracing part btw you two, for hours, dancing in each other's nectar, is truly when, moments in time are able to stand still. she sounds like a true soul-mate that you highly respect. it also sounds like on another level, you two have already transcended the "neediness" of lesser relationships. may your heart stay open to adoration and devotion of your true-love, forever... check out twinflames- soulmates (google) it might wake you up further. wink. ;-)

Beleive me, the biggest mistake you can ever make is not letting someone know - and I do know that from personal experience in the worst of all possible ways. Its not a mistake you want to make.

[...]

Little moments! ;)
I totally agree with you about how tragedies can be a good motivator and a place where you get to kow yourself. I also agree about the little moments and the non verbal. They are what I cherish the most from my past relationships... the way Mariebelle was meant for me, or the guy making sure he is always walking on the side of the road, or that touch, right there... *smiles*

I must admit, the romatinc in me is still hoping for what Eutrusca called being blind-sided, but whatever form, it's a gift.

I've been in and out of love for 5 years and the thing I've learned over and over and over again is that, above anything else, everyone loves and needs attention. If two people are madly in love, but they don't go out to see eachother much, the love fails. And it always fails on one side first, heartbreaking the other.

silky moments of "true-love" are rare, the embracing part btw you two, for hours, dancing in each other's nectar, is truly when, moments in time are able to stand still. she sounds like a true soul-mate that you highly respect. it also sounds like on another level, you two have already transcended the "neediness" of lesser relationships. may your heart stay open to adoration and devotion of your true-love, forever... check out twinflames- soulmates (google) it might wake you up further. wink. ;-)
The strange thing, is that after all we've been through - this whole on and off soap opera romance... Im not sure what I have to look forward to. The important bit to me isn't so much that we're soul-mates as you say (though I must admit, its a nice thought) I'm just so happy to have felt a way I didn't think I could anymore, and I'm all too happy it was her who showed me that. She is moving away though, and I'll stick to my inclination that I ought not to go too far in telling her how I'm feeling... if the feeling is a shared one, time apart won't change a thing. As far as neediness, that I can say is a strange one indeed - its been a common problem with me. Formerly, if I wasn't pushing girls out of my bed I was clung so tightly to them I could never have let go - for some reason I just don't feel that way anymore, not right now. Still, I'm going to miss the hell out of her.

I've been in and out of love for 5 years and the thing I've learned over and over and over again is that, above anything else, everyone loves and needs attention. If two people are madly in love, but they don't go out to see eachother much, the love fails. And it always fails on one side first, heartbreaking the other.

Of course, when it fails, it fails on one side first. I've been on both sides and the break-up is always... sad. But seriously, even knowing that, I would still jump at the chance over and over again.

FewGoodMen- What a horrible thing to say! have you ever been in love? Do you know how it feels? You don't have to read this thread, noone's forcing you! :mad:

I've been in and out of love for 5 years and the thing I've learned over and over and over again is that, above anything else, everyone loves and needs attention. If two people are madly in love, but they don't go out to see eachother much, the love fails. And it always fails on one side first, heartbreaking the other.
Like I said, I don't know about the future this has to offer me - but what I do know, is that it has given me back a sense of hope that formerly I had misplaced. If nothing else, I'm comforted by that - and I'm happy to have had what I did, even if it is gone or going away. :)

FewGoodMen- What a horrible thing to say! have you ever been in love? Do you know how it feels? You don't have to read this thread, noone's forcing you! :mad:
It's alright, he has no idea what he's talking about anyway. For one thing, he went as far as to say that I (perhaps even we) are whining - obviously hasn't read a word, rather I'd venture to guess this person to be little more than your garden variety troll. No worries. :)

ok, I'm calm

Jugendeherberge xx :)

ok, I'm calm

Jugendeherberge xx :)
Thats the spirit! ;)

On the topic of little moments, I think its valid to post a little of this song...

Taken from Brad Paisley's Little Moments:

I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank god that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like and angel that I don't wanna wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

Like I said, I don't know about the future this has to offer me - but what I do know, is that it has given me back a sense of hope that formerly I had misplaced. If nothing else, I'm comforted by that - and I'm happy to have had what I did, even if it is gone or going away. :)
:fluffle:
You're all grown up now
;) sorry, couldn't resist

:fluffle:
You're all grown up now
;) sorry, couldn't resist
Well, it just stands as proof of the fact that even the most desolate and cold among us are capable of most anything when provided with one night of warmth to melt our hearts.

Love does not exist, it's just your hormones and all that brain stuff working..why bother about it?

i know this has nothing to do with anything but ha sMax Barry banned anyone or anyone heres friends cause thats what happens when peoples countries and im not talken about when you dont log on for 28 days or something cuse he banned my friends country cause they had an argument in the forums and said the region was next
plus he bad mouthed my country :mad:

i know this has nothing to do with anything but ha sMax Barry banned anyone or anyone heres friends cause thats what happens when peoples countries and im not talken about when you dont log on for 28 days or something cuse he banned my friends country cause they had an argument in the forums and said the region was next
plus he bad mouthed my country :mad:
First of all, it probably wasn't Max himself - but either way, this is really an issue to be brought up in moderation. You'll find the mods are actually quite fair and helpful - Im sure if someone was banned there was some sort of reason. But as far as the post, theres not really any reason at all to post it here other than thread jacking, which you might want to consider not doing since thats one way to get a ban. Just trying to help - please do not respond, Id like to keep this on topic. :)

Well, it just stands as proof of the fact that even the most desolate and cold among us are capable of most anything when provided with one night of warmth to melt our hearts.

Desolate and cold - that seems a bit harsh because it is not what you have been projecting to us, dearest. Remember the ladies swooning with delight at you every word and compliment? The hearts you try to mend with your pearls of wisdom and kindness?
...
...
...
But those one nighters are the best.

Desolate and cold - that seems a bit harsh because it is not what you have been projecting to us, dearest. Remember the ladies swooning with delight at you every word and compliment? The hearts you try to mend with your pearls of wisdom and kindness?
...
...
...
But those one nighters are the best.
Well, I'm not going to say that I'm always desolate and cold - but there is at least one person you can ask from this forum who would say that I am, at least on occasion, and would say so without hesitation. The last four years, well, three and a half I guess - have been the darkest and saddest of my life, infilled with brief periods of sunlight and hapiness. I'm not saying that I don't mean the things I say - but a person can give warmth without feeling it, trust me. I care about a lot of things, in particular about the feelings of others - its just been a long time since I've really had any of my own that I could be sure of. Its been a long time since I've felt this good. :)

Thats the spirit! ;)

On the topic of little moments, I think its valid to post a little of this song...

Taken from Brad Paisley's Little Moments:

I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank god that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like and angel that I don't wanna wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

:) That's awesome. And :fluffle: to ya Lasc. Good luck with her and love in the future.

It sounds really sad, and I'd feel sorry for you except for one thing- it leaves you free for the rest of us. :D :fluffle:

That's awesome. And to ya Lasc. Good luck with her and love in the future.It sounds really sad, and I'd feel sorry for you except for one thing- it leaves you free for the rest of us.
Thanks Erastide and BK, thats pretty sweet of the two of you!

While I can't deny that I'm already feeling the bite of sadness at my heels as her departure quickly approaches - at least this happiness has yet to fade in the wake of these mixed emotions. I know it will make me break a little to know shes gone, but it won't change what we had or what I feel for her.

Life is amazing that way, a week ago I was totally despondent about screwing up a friendship - this week, Im ecstatic because out of that loss I gained the presence of mind to realize what I was doing with this relationship. It bothers me a little that I didn't see it sooner, when it was in front of me the whole time - but hell, at least I had it for a little while. Besides, it's what I'm taking away from all of this that really matters - I think this may have been a nessecary awakening.

My eyes are open now, and though they may have the mark of a tear when I watch the clock ticking away her flight time... there will exist now a spark of life where once there was little more than a melancholy gaze. I think thats what I was trying to convey when I used the word 'hope'.

;)

Aww, I hope it all works out for the best :). Reading your story (and those of others) has been very inspiring and has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Don't let go of your optimistic attitude!
It's at times like these that I wish I was in love :p

Aww, I hope it all works out for the best :). Reading your story (and those of others) has been very inspiring and has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Don't let go of your optimistic attitude!
It's at times like these that I wish I was in love :p
Keep that attitude, and I have no doubts you soon will be! :)

after LM's wonderfully appropriate lyric posting I though you might appreciate the thoughts of jimmy eat world, you probably dont like the song, but I think the lyrics are quite moving.

"Polaris"

I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travel east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

The line "In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there", especially seemed fitting.

Jugendeherberge xx :)

Thanks Jugendeherberge,

That was not only fitting but beautiful as well! Though I fear I may start weeping in front of my co-workers now! ha!

Now, as for you other NS'ers, come on in and share a little story or anecdote with us! I know that we all have some love story that we like to tell! Don't let the mush frighten you off, any way you wish to write it is fine by me, mushy or otherwise! :)

Maybe some song lyrics will help inspire people to share a little...



I burned my hand, I cut my face
Heaven knows how long it's been
Since I've felt so out of place
I'm wonderin' if I'll fit in.

Debbie and Charley said they'd be here by nine
And Deb said she might bring a friend
Just my luck, they're right on time
So here I go again.

I'm gonna smile my best smile
And I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style
Look into her eyes and pray that she don't see
That learning to live again is killing me.

Little cafe, table for four
But there's just conversation for three
I like the way she let me get the door
I wonder what she thinks of me.

Debbie just whispered, "You're doin' fine"
And I wish that I felt the same
She's asked me to dance, now her hand's in mine
Oh, my god, I've forgotten her name.

But I'm gonna smile my best smile
And I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style
Look into her eyes and pray that she don't see
That learning to live again is killing me.

Now here we are beneath her porch light
And I say what a great time it's been
A kiss on the cheek, a whisper goodnight
And I say, "can I see you again".

And she just smiles her best smile
And she laughs like it's going out of style
Looks into my eyes and says, "We'll see"
Oh this learning to live again is killing me
God this learning to live again is killing me
Is there a little piece of your heart that you're willing to expose? Show us what you're really made of generalites! What little moments have you shared? When did you know you were in love? :)

Yesterday a girl texted me that she has a little weak spot for me.

Yesterday a girl texted me that she has a little weak spot for me.
We all do LP ;)

Thats awesome though! Little things like that can make your day! :)

Go get her you salty sea dog you!!

OK... I have had no experience in the matters of love whatsoever, so I'm not even going to attempt to answer... but I wish you the best of luck in whatever decisions you make.

On a different note, I just want to say that you write extremely well... It has a very poetic tone to it, (especially for a forum post!). Just thought I should let you know. :)

Thank you! Thats very sweet of you to say that :)

I was hoping to get a few more responses from people though... I can wait - I'm sure they'll come in due time!

I'm chasing a Belgian actress for a year know. She lives pretty fare, so I bought a scooter... and fell three times with it. Trying to contact her failed (although I did manage to get her adress and hotmail adress). So now I'm trying to make a movie. Love, pure insanity, I love it.
Never give up...

I'm chasing a Belgian actress for a year know. She lives pretty fare, so I bought a scooter... and fell three times with it. Trying to contact her failed (although I did manage to get her adress and hotmail adress). So now I'm trying to make a movie. Love, pure insanity, I love it.
Never give up...
You said it! ;)

My experience in love can best be expressed in this letter I wrote, although I never wrote it with the intention to send it, just worte it.

Dear Girl who stole my heart at first glance:

This is a letter you'll never get, about feelings you never know about. It seems like only yesterday I watched you climb over the fence to come hang out in my back yard. How young and foolish I was then, to think forever was real and that I had nothing to worry about. That you would always climb over that fence and that I never needed to tell you that I had the biggest crush on you. Funny how the years of not talking to you would make me realize that forever is a falsehood. That nothing is forever, everything has it's time and once it's up, you can either fight to keep it alive or watch it die off into infinity. How I would give up my very soul to go back to those days. To go back and tell you what my heart screamed for you to hear. To tell you that I liked you, that I thought the world of you, and that I still do. You're the greatest person I've ever met. Smart, funny, great personality, awesome to talk to, and beautiful... Oh so beautiful. Your beauty knows no bounds and I can find no words worthy enough to describe you. Words are perhaps jealous because of that. Yet it's funny, how all these years of not talking can make you realize that out of all the people in the world, the one for you, the one you truly loved even though you wouldn't, or perhaps couldn't tell them ... you found and yet let them get away. I don't mean for all this to come as a shock to you, although I know it must. I'm sure you never imagined I would have such feelings for you, and I never meant for you to find out like this, if these are your beautiful eyes gazing onto this letter. I was supposed to tell you years ago, and these feelings were supposed to grow as I experience all life's wonders by your side. Sadly I didn't realize that nothing is forever, so instead these feelings grew as I grew older alone and longed to find a way to find you again and tell you how I felt. Sadly I suppose it is to late. It’s been such a long time since we last spoke; to me it has been like an eternity. I suppose you have someone by now, why not? Any guy would have to be crazy to pass you up... I know I was. To the point of this letter, I know not. Perhaps it's one last ditch effort by a love sick school boy trying to win the heart of the women of his dreams and soul. Then again maybe it's the final confession of a guy giving up on what was once a dream, but is now seen, as it's true form. An insane delusion that by fate two people could come together.

Sincerely,
The childhood neighbor you perhaps forgot

Well there ya go.....the sweet insanity which is...well me

NRE, that was a beautiful letter, I felt moved nearly to the point of tears upon reading it. I know exactly how you feel, and it breaks me to admit that I have shared a very similar experience i nmy own life. There was a 'dear John' thread around here somewhere earlier that I am going to post in later dealing with exactly that. We all make mistakes in an attempt to serve our foolish sense of pride and wanton complacency - but we learn from them, and we grow to be better men. I hope that one day you find that girl, or at least a love in someone else that somehow mirrors what you felt. Today, my heart goes out to you.

I'm chasing a Belgian actress for a year know. She lives pretty fare, so I bought a scooter... and fell three times with it. Trying to contact her failed (although I did manage to get her adress and hotmail adress). So now I'm trying to make a movie. Love, pure insanity, I love it.
Never give up...


Hmm...sounds...almost like 'stalking'...

Thats the spirit! ;)

On the topic of little moments, I think its valid to post a little of this song...

Taken from Brad Paisley's Little Moments:

I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank god that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like and angel that I don't wanna wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

Eh, my favorite part is the bit about her burning the cake and setting off the fire alarm...

Can anyone give me some advice. i just got out of a really bad relationship about 4 months ago and i just met this great girl but i'm still kinda burned from my last relationship what should i do?
:confused:

Can anyone give me some advice. i just got out of a really bad relationship about 4 months ago and i just met this great girl but i'm still kinda burned from my last relationship what should i do?
:confused:


Be a good friend. Anything else will develop over time - if it's right...

i'm trying but i cant read what she wants out of it because i'm getting mixed signals from her. i've had really bad luck with relationships before and i don't want to screw this up by moving to fast or by being to slow.

Can anyone give me some advice. i just got out of a really bad relationship about 4 months ago and i just met this great girl but i'm still kinda burned from my last relationship what should i do?
:confused:

Take your time and be honest and honorable. If you have baggage from the last relationship, unload it now. And come to terms with it. And the tell her about it. She may want to deal, be the rebound chick, but it's a risk you have to take.

i'm trying but i cant read what she wants out of it because i'm getting mixed signals from her. i've had really bad luck with relationships before and i don't want to screw this up by moving to fast or by being to slow.

Being a good friend, and starting with that a base will never screw up a relationship that would have been worth having. I dont think I'd ever date another girl that hadnt been my friend first.

Worrying about moving too fast, or too slow, can be as damaging to a relationship as moving too fast, or too slow.
Pushing a relationship can cause the relationship to develop pre-maturly. You have to let it grow at it's own pace. Some days you might come much closer, and some days, you might not grow closer at all - but...that's the key, taking it one day at a time.

Being a good friend, and starting with that a base will never screw up a relationship that would have been worth having. I dont think I'd ever date another girl that hadnt been my friend first.

Worrying about moving too fast, or too slow, can be as damaging to a relationship as moving too fast, or too slow.
Pushing a relationship can cause the relationship to develop pre-maturly. You have to let it grow at it's own pace. Some days you might come much closer, and some days, you might not grow closer at all - but...that's the key, taking it one day at a time.

and what he said, but more eloquently.

i'm cool with most of it i'm just a little down but every time i talk to her my entire day becomes better shes nice and supportive of me but she also gives me space and there is no commitment.
heres a little background info:
My last relationship ended in a bit of a fight. OK to tell the truth she cussed me in front of spencers because i broke up with her after we had been dating for 2 years. everything was fine until she started to try and control my life 24/7 and i started to wise up about the time i came away with a scar on my left leg and some bruised ribs. my ex was just a little not right in the head she started out all right exept for when she freacked out and nearly hit me with a 10-pound textbook. she was cool for a while but slowly she started to take over my life and she got more and more weird i mean she got to where if i even looked at someone she was accusing me of cheating on her. which i never did. she also hated or was hated by every single one of my friends. it went down hill from there she either loved me to death or hated my guts on any given day she would do both. i am a seriously loyal person in a relation ship i wouldn't think of cheating on someone but on the other hand i expect them to at least respect me for that. in the 2 years i dated my ex i never looked at another girl. i found out later that she had cheated on me at least twice.

i'm cool with most of it i'm just a little down but every time i talk to her my entire day becomes better shes nice and supportive of me but she also gives me space and there is no commitment.
heres a little background info:
My last relationship ended in a bit of a fight. OK to tell the truth she cussed me in front of spencers because i broke up with her after we had been dating for 2 years. everything was fine until she started to try and control my life 24/7 and i started to wise up about the time i came away with a scar on my left leg and some bruised ribs. my ex was just a little not right in the head she started out all right exept for when she freacked out and nearly hit me with a 10-pound textbook. she was cool for a while but slowly she started to take over my life and she got more and more weird i mean she got to where if i even looked at someone she was accusing me of cheating on her. which i never did. she also hated or was hated by every single one of my friends. it went down hill from there she either loved me to death or hated my guts on any given day she would do both. i am a seriously loyal person in a relation ship i wouldn't think of cheating on someone but on the other hand i expect them to at least respect me for that. in the 2 years i dated my ex i never looked at another girl. i found out later that she had cheated on me at least twice.

Refer back to TCG's first response to you.

thanks for all the advice. it's helped a lot i just can't ever bring myslef to talk about it so i figured i'd get it out of my system here. i really apreciate everyone's help on this

I'm sorry LM. I hope you're still not sad. You know that song. That's so sweet. Any guy who knows that song is perfection. ;)

A love story, hm?

Well, the relationship I'm in now is my first--and it's been going for nearly a year and a half now. He first said he loved me about 3 or 4 months in, when I was at a state competition for AcDec. I called him to inform him that I'd made it safely to the hotel. We'd been talking for about an hour when I finally had to go, and there was a long pause. And then, in the most hesitant, softest, most scared voice I've ever heard him used, he said he loved me. And without even thinking, I returned the sentiments. And for the rest of the weekend, I glowed.

Sadly, however, I'm the kind of person who tends to rationalize things. So I spent several agonized weeks, wondering if I really did love him or not. The answer came, funnily enough, on Valentine's day. We went to the school dance together, and I was nervous as all hell. And when I'm nervous, I have a tendency to...well. I spent most of the dance praying to the porcelin god, as my best friend so elequently put it. But my boyfriend went so far as to enter the girl's bathroom to make sure I was alright, and then drove me home. Then, at my door, he kissed me gently on the cheek, told me to remember he loved me, and watched to make sure I got in the door alright. And any man who will do all that, I decided, is worthy of loving.

And so, now I sit here, twirling his class ring on a silver chain. He'll be leaving for college, soon enough, and I'll be left behind. I worry, but I know he loves me. And even if he finds someone else, I'd let him go and be happy--we've shared so much, in these past months, and I could never look back on it as anything but a positive experience. No matter what pain might happen in the end, I'd have loved him anyway.

For me, romance has been a series of relationships which have shown me what love is NOT.

While I could certainly (and have, on many occasions) feel like throwing myself in front of a speeding train upon discovering that what I had so recently thought was love was in fact not, I do not give up. Like Max Ehrmann said in his Desiderata:

"Neither be cynical about Love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass."

I cleave to the notion that by faithfully eliminating all of the things that can try to pass for love -- intense sexual compatibility, for example -- I bring myself closer to what love really is, or may be. Even if that step closer is akin to the flea that always leaps half the distance to his goal (and therefore will never reach it), being closer beats living father away.

I do know that there's a bit of Heisenberg in love. The more you look at it or for it, the less likely it is to appear. As trite as that is, it's ridiculously true.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Hmm...sounds...almost like 'stalking'...
Ha, yes it does! But I'm too bad in it to actually classifie it like that. :p
I mean I've been too here house two times in 14 months and I've never even seen here... I guess it's just something I do to fool myself into believing I'm really trying to get a girlfriend.

Wow, I leave for a day and all of a sudden people post! Wow! I should heed this lesson and not post as often! Keep them coming though, its reassuring to read other peoples stories. :)

Oh, and Oksana, Im not sad anymore - at least not after this. Tomorrow is bound to be a hard day, but otherwise its been the best week I've had in a long, long time. I'm far from perfect, though its very sweet of you to have said that! (You really are a sweetie!) :)

Well, now that all that sap is out, I would like to ask you about this.

So share some advice with me, tell me a story, what little moments have defined your idea or experiences with love? How did you know that love had found you? When did you realize the reality of it? Tell us about love.
:)

Love sucks. You fall in love, and then its taken out from under your feet. Best friends stab you in the back (metaphorically of course) just to get closer to the one you love, who, after saying 'I love you' only the night before, waltzes off with this no-good traitor into the sunset. There, I finally got that out of my system, so there you go. Love sucks

Love sucks. You fall in love, and then its taken out from under your feet. Best friends stab you in the back (metaphorically of course) just to get closer to the one you love, who, after saying 'I love you' only the night before, waltzes off with this no-good traitor into the sunset. There, I finally got that out of my system, so there you go. Love sucks

Then I'd say that person was not a friend and your love was misplaced. It happens to most of us. It doesn't need to be that way. I admit, love can suck, but between knowing love and losing it and not loving, I'll choose the latter. I can be very happy on my own, spreading love to family and my closest friends. But I'd much prefer to share the happiness with someone.

Have a chocolate and a :fluffle: ! Call me in the morning...

Love is the fear of both the Darkside and the Lightside. The Order believes that love can lead to passion which ultimately leads to fear, anger, and revenge (the path of the darkside). The Sith believe that love leads to mercy and kindness which can be a huge weakness. But passion is a thing that can be controlled so love is in the best interest of the Lightside.

It is for lack of love that all these rouge Jedi's go around whacking people with their light sabres. If they knew what love was, they would have just stayed home and played with their own light sabre while they looked for it. Of course, measures would have to be made as far as taking care not to spend to much time playing with their light sabres, lest they dammage the shaft and render themselves incapable of allowing the one they love to play with their light sabre (which is an act that must be dutifully performed in a display of ones affection). One should also try not to spend so much time playing with their light sabre that they do not attempt to find love - since the joys of playing with ones light sabre are a pittance compared to the joys of letting someone else play with it. :)

It is for lack of love that all these rouge Jedi's go around whacking people with their light sabres. If they knew what love was, they would have just stayed home and played with their own light sabre while they looked for it. Of course, measures would have to be made as far as taking care not to spend to much time playing with their light sabres, lest they dammage the shaft and render themselves incapable of allowing the one they love to play with their light sabre (which is an act that must be dutifully performed in a display of ones affection). One should also try not to spend so much time playing with their light sabre that they do not attempt to find love - since the joys of playing with ones light sabre are a pittance compared to the joys of letting someone else play with it. :)
You make me sick! The lightsaber is a weapon of power and conquest, not a plaything. :D

You make me sick! The lightsaber is a weapon of power and conquest, not a plaything. :D
Whoever said that playing with a light sabre didn't involve a little divide and conquer? :confused:

Yes

It was my 21st birthday

Abbreviated list of events:

~Noon - 5pm: Chug beer from a left-over keg from the previous weekend's party. Nasty, but gets things moving.

~5pm - ~8pm: Dinner/drinks at the Nitty Gritty. Several of my fraternity bros are there... as well as my sister and a friend of hers. This is rather comical, for of course I want to have a good time getting plastered, but my sister is there. So we all get Gritty burgers... I get my Free birthday Mug and start drinking the free beer (Bud, Miller, etc.)... my friends buy me some nasty shots, the tamest of which is vodka. I have an excellent buzz going by now.

~8pm - ~1am: Bars. Downtown Madison, WI (State Street area) has a plethora of bars. We hit seemingly half of them (thankfully my sister has left the group, along with her friend, so i won't make a complete ass of myself in front of her), the highlight coming at Wando's, where I drink what's called a "fish bowl" -- a literal fish bowl filled with wop (mixed drink consisting of, basically, vodka/malibu/Kool Aid/Sprite). Needless to say, I am toast by the time we go to...

~1am - ~1:30am: La Bamba. La Bamba were famous on State Street for their fine service to the late-night crowd as servers of "burritos as big as your head". So By this time there are four of us... we get our huge burritos and sit down... well i am somewhat garrulous at this point and am having a hard time sitting up and keeping my eyes open, so when some other drunk person makes a snide comment to me I attempt to throttle him (sort of...). Thankfully, my body fails me and I come to my senses and apologize to the guy.. my friends have to keep me steady as we head for the door after being kicked out.

~1:30-1:45am: Walking home, some people in a 5th-floor apartment balcony say something like, "Hey, man, you okay?" Of course I take offense to this and ask them if they'd like to come down and see just how okay I am (in far fewer words of course). So three of them come down. I have but one friend with me. Well he sees this and leaves. So I say, "It's my birthday." This seems to have been a brilliant thing to say, because they instantly smile and are cool. So I continue walking home.

~1:50: I decide to run the rest of the way home (about 4 blocks). Now it is mid-March, and in Madison that means it's in the 30s (fahrenheit... around 0 Celsius). I have on a sweatshirt with a t-shirt underneath and blue jeans. I am sweating so I take off the sweatshirt and toss it in the yard to my right (no idea whose yard). I then TAKE OFF for home (and down the stretch he comes!) ... trip on one of the lines in the sidewalk, fall horribly... tear a hold in my jeans and and elbow. Ouch. I get up and head to a fraternity house across the street from ours. I find an old high school friend there. I can't believe that

a)I'm not at my fraternity house

and

b)I'm seeing my pal Dave for the first time in about three years.

So Dave and I hang out fir a while... I make some prank phone calls to people I don't know. I'm sure Dave things this is hilarious since nobody i'm talking to can understand one thing i'm saying.

So at maybe around 3am I head across the street to my home. I decide that I cannot walk the additional 20 feet to get to my own bed... I set myself down in the kitchen.

I wake up maybe 6 hours later -- undisturbed, which is amazing in a house full of so many 20ish-year-old guys -- and without a hangover. I mean, I am not exaggerating: I feel just fine.

So you see, i was so drunk the previous evening/morning that my greatest birthday present came in the form of hangover clemency.

There were many instances of surrealness the night before: drinking with my sister, getting kicked out of La Bamba, almost getting in a fight on the way home but turning it into an amiable situation, throwing my sweatshirt into someone's yard, falling down, ending up at another fraternity house and seeing an old high school pal.

The icing on the cake was the lack of any sort of hangover symptoms. Happy birthday to me, indeed.

Hmm... wrong topic maybe? Or am I just confused? :confused:

Then I'd say that person was not a friend and your love was misplaced. It happens to most of us. It doesn't need to be that way. I admit, love can suck, but between knowing love and losing it and not loving, I'll choose the latter. I can be very happy on my own, spreading love to family and my closest friends. But I'd much prefer to share the happiness with someone.

Have a chocolate and a :fluffle: ! Call me in the morning...

Thanks :fluffle: (Because I'm feeling kind)

Hmm... wrong topic maybe? Or am I just confused? :confused:
Maybe he's in love with beer, but he feels bad because it sneaked out in the night :p

Maybe he's in love with beer, but he feels bad because it sneaked out in the night :p
Mines done that before. Imagine the horror of waking up in the afternoon, with no recollection of the events the night before, and with your fridge emptied of all alcoholic content. Theres an unfamiliar female sleeping in my bed, a strange smell about my face, and I have a splitting headache.

The only plausible explanation: A beer theif, bent of stealing my beer (which I desperately love) comes into my house, asphixiates me with chloroform, slips a woman into my bedroom to make sure I dont come near my fridge, then conks me on the head with a hammer and steals my beloved beer.

Its all I can come up with... and the worse part, it keeps happening - and Im no closer to catching him. Now I try and explain to my women that I have to keep my hand down my pants to keep the weiner theif from stealing that too - of course she doesnt beleive me, and thinks that I'm just a pig or something. What can I do? :confused:

You know, I find it hard to truely let go of someone you love. I doubt it is possible actually. Maybe you can let go of the body of the person you love, but not them, not the essence of who they were.

Many of you probably know my story. Not sure if it was worth repeating today, too painful of a day to recall that all, but I do want to share the first couple dates we had together with you; I need to focus on the good things right now.

I met the love of my life at a drinking party. Of course, little ole me, cannot say no to a good drink, so I was drunk pretty quick that night. I was not really aware of what was going on around me, but I do remember some guy trying to take me to a room and me wanting to stay out with everyone else and have a blast. He was really persistent and wouldn't leave my damn neck alone; that was, until a certain someone came over and told him to leave me alone. Of course, I was too drunk to really grasp the situation, but I did know the guy by his figure, and I remembered the rumors through town about how he not someone to screw with. I was not frightened though, more relieved that he got that creep away then anything.

I don't really remember the rest of the night; there was some dancing, bullshitting, you know how things go when you are drunk. He made sure I got home alright; and when I went to sleep, that was the last I thought of him.

Until I woke up the next morning; massive hangover (oh joy......). I remember just coming out of the kitchen from gulping down aspirin and ibuprofen (my cocktail) when someone knocked at my door. At this point, I wanted to kill the person for merely knocking on my door because it gave me such a pounding headache. I opened the door to find none other then my savior last night coming just to check up on me.

We started dating from there on; he was a funny guy, really easy for me to get along with. After a while, I felt something for him I had never felt before with anyone else. I denied love, until one night, laying in bed with him, that I really realized I loved him.

Our relationship became really close. I really love him, even to this day. What he showed me in life, no one else could. The pain he went through brought us closer together. I experienced true love with him. Despite all the hell in his life, the hell it brought me, I could never have left the man, he was remarkable. I am still in awe at his strength and determination in life, even though he ended up not making it in the end. There was a man who took hell by the balls and fought everyday in life just to love. When he loved someone; he meant it; and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

Now, don't take me wrong, Dante was not Mister Perfect; as many of you know. He definately had his flaws, but his flaws are what brought us closer together.

He's my ickle Dante, even now.

:)

Rest in peace my love.

That was a truly captivating thing to have written Der Fuhrer Dyszel, thank you for sharing that with us.

Sadly I too know how it feels to know how it is to love someone and to lose them, though not in that context exactly. I also know how hard it can be to talk about it, so I appreciate the courage that you have displayed in being able to share even as much as you have.

I can't spend too much time talking right now, but if you ever need someone to talk to, about this or anything else - please do TG or IM me. I am here for you whenever you need a friend to confide in.

*HUGS*<--- big hugs, sharing something like that is worth more than the simple standard. :)

This morning, and as we speak, a jet is being loaded for departure. By and by there will be tires singing a mournful song on the tread of the tarmac, and the shine of silver wings rising against the half-light of an ocean reflected sunrise. Colours of warm red and orange will dance on its belly and in light the cabin ablaze with life… yet the only colours I can see here in my office are so many shades of blue.

I won’t be shedding any tears, and I won’t be losing any sleep over it all, but all the same, I will miss her – and I will miss what she has given me. Without love I have run as dry as a river without rain, but come the spring rains, and all the life the storms have brought forth with them. The darkness of a cold winter in my life has been lifted from me, and the light of this new season creeping in. In its wake, I am finding in the dark corners of my being a person I had long since forgotten and had given up hope of ever knowing again. Perhaps it’s true what they say about all things happening for a reason – and though I cannot fathom the reason behind this yet – I am basking in the warmth that feeling such a love has brought to me. Though it pains me, I know thinking of her happiness that I have made the right choice in setting that love free.

Of course, I had entertained the thought in the final moments of running through the airport… a man possessed by emotion. I have, however, drawn the conclusion that being shot by a security officer in an international airport is neither daring or romantic, but rather a little silly – and wishfully gallant (why is it that they choose not to show that in movies?). I know that this is what she’s longed for, and to find in myself the conviction to convince her otherwise would be to deny her that which I love most about her. Instead I will miss her – and realize that if nothing else we will always be sharing the stars at night or the sunlight in day.

There won’t be a day that passes I won’t miss seeing her gorgeous smile, taking in her enchanting green eyes, or hearing the sound of her soft spoken voice. Still then, there won’t be a day that I won’t remember the dancing or the happiness she gave me while she was here.

As I write this morning, a jet carrying the most precious cargo this world has to offer me left for Heathrow International. My girl is gone, and with her she has taken more than her luggage and a smile – she has taken my heart.

;)

aww Lasc......I'm sorry love.

No need to be sorry Peech - I knew this day was coming when I started the thread. Unless you mean you're sorry that I just spent ten minutes typing up that sappy diatribe only to see it go 'last post' on me and soon to be forgotten!

*sigh*

I will miss her Peech, but for what it's worth I'm happy to have had the time I did.

No need to be sorry Peech - I knew this day was coming when I started the thread. Unless you mean you're sorry that I just spent ten minutes typing up that sappy diatribe only to see it go 'last post' on me and soon to be forgotten!

*sigh*

I will miss her Peech, but for what it's worth I'm happy to have had the time I did.


Well if it will make you feel any better...I can take a pic of me in a cowboy hat for you ;)
(inside joke people)

Sorry Peech - though its very sweet of you to offer! Perhaps another time. I think today will be a quiet one from me. :)

Sorry Peech - though its very sweet of you to offer! Perhaps another time. I think today will be a quiet one from me. :)
Come on Lasc. You need to laugh. Not to forget, but to remember.

Sorry Peech - though its very sweet of you to offer! Perhaps another time. I think today will be a quiet one from me. :)
*huggles and fluffles* :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Come on Lasc. You need to laugh. Not to forget, but to remember.

I bet if I took one of you in a cowboy outfit.....he'd laugh!


GIDDY-UP!

I bet if I took one of you in a cowboy outfit.....he'd laugh!


GIDDY-UP!
I have to find something to ride though..........*looks innocent*

You guys are too much! Really - Im quite alright! Of course I'm sad to see her go, that cannot be helped, but I'm still riding out the feeling that had me so jazzed last weekend, so I'll be ok. I promise. :)

This morning, and as we speak, a jet is being loaded for departure. By and by there will be tires singing a mournful song on the tread of the tarmac... <snip>
I've only read the first several posts and the several most recent posts; I haven't had time to read most of the topic.

Love is an important part of any person. To try to isolate oneself from love to avoid the pain of losing that love only seems like a sanctuary. It is actually a prison; you are merely both prisoner and warden simultaneously. So, the transformation of your own personality that you have described of yourself is a transformation that I see as good and hopeful; it has opened your heart and I can scarcely think of any greater, any more beneficial, or any holier a change. Love can bring you great joy, but it can also carry great risk. Then again, there is really nothing in life that is without risk, not investments, not career plans, not travelling, not even for something so simple as crossing the street; love is no different in this regard.

You decision not to tell her anything is, in my opinion, the wisest decision you could have made, given the circumstances. She's already planned and committed a significant portion of her life (an entire year) to this trip, and I agree with you that it wouldn't be fair to her to place this burden upon her before she left. On a more practical note, trying to convince her to stay or chasing after her as if in some romance movie would have reeked of desperation and lack of self-confidence and I suspect that this would have turned her off to you.

A year is a long time. She may find someone new during that time. Then again, she may not. Conversely, you may find someone new during that time. Then again, you may not. From what little I've read of this topic, this girl hasn't actually committed to you at all, so neither you nor she would be at fault for finding someone else to form a relationship with. So, if another opportunity for love presents itself, explore it.

When she returns from Europe, meet up with her to catch up on old times. If neither you nor she has found someone new, and if she is still attracted to you, then ask her out and take her to someplace where you can dance. But, regardless of whether the opportunity for love shows up in this girl or in some other girl, then take the opportunity to explore it. Even if it doesn't pan out, it's still an opportunity to learn from it and grow from it. Don't reject it, don't pass it by, don't turn your back on it, don't close your heart.

"The worst prison is a closed heart." --Karol Jozef Wojtyla, His Holiness Pope John Paul II


You guys are too much! Really - Im quite alright! Of course I'm sad to see her go, that cannot be helped, but I'm still riding out the feeling that had me so jazzed last weekend, so I'll be ok. I promise. :)
Good to know. ...and congratulations on your transformation. :)


"Think about it for a moment." --The Democratic States of Cogitation

I dunno, I've been drop-kicked in a couple relationships so I've got a pretty bleak outlook on Love.

Allways seemed to be to be brought on by a percieved need. Otherwise, most people I know are to afraid to leave a relationship even if they are no longer in love and it comes down to a security issue..... or fear

But, thats probably just me

You decision not to tell her anything is, in my opinion, the wisest decision you could have made, given the circumstances. She's already planned and committed a significant portion of her life (an entire year) to this trip, and I agree with you that it wouldn't be fair to her to place this burden upon her before she left. On a more practical note, trying to convince her to stay or chasing after her as if in some romance movie would have reeked of desperation and lack of self-confidence and I suspect that this would have turned her off to you.
I couldn't agree more. I know that telling her would be a mistake, she doesn't need to hear it in words at this point, not for the added burden it would bring her. She knows how I feel by virtue of my actions, which speak louder than I can yell. As far as the dramatics, I simply wrote them down as a little bit of comic interlude (noting the reference to airport security, haha!). The simple reality is, I want her to go, and I want her to live her dreams - I love her that much. Beyond the borders of some selfish obsession, but certainly also beyond a denial of loving to the point of pushing her away as I've already done with so many others.

A year is a long time. She may find someone new during that time. Then again, she may not. Conversely, you may find someone new during that time. Then again, you may not. From what little I've read of this topic, this girl hasn't actually committed to you at all, so neither you nor she would be at fault for finding someone else to form a relationship with. So, if another opportunity for love presents itself, explore it. This is a possibility I most certainly have not overlooked. As I've said, what we shared was an awkward relationship to say the least - the typical soap opera on again, off again situation. I was simply happy to have found in myself feelings that I had long since forgotten simply by being with her. Neither of us ever made any commitment to the other - and I'm happy that we haven't. If the chance arises to explore another relationship, I will not turn it away as I have been for so long. That is to say, ultimately what I've gained from this experience is not love, but rather the ability to love again. I have lived, for a very long time, in the shadow of my own darkness - it's a surreal experience to step away from that for the first time in so long.

When she returns from Europe, meet up with her to catch up on old times. If neither you nor she has found someone new, and if she is still attracted to you, then ask her out and take her to someplace where you can dance. But, regardless of whether the opportunity for love shows up in this girl or in some other girl, then take the opportunity to explore it. Even if it doesn't pan out, it's still an opportunity to learn from it and grow from it. Don't reject it, don't pass it by, don't turn your back on it, don't close your heart.I cannot deny that I have allowed myself to dream of this possibility a little as well, perhaps dangerously (call it delusions of grandeur if you wish). The hopeless romantic in me has always sought what love Ive found in the hardest of ways - perhaps because I know that tragedy is the strongest teacher of all. I dont live for it - but it is certainly a part of who I am to think as such. I wont shun any other love that comes my way - Ive done so for far too long, but if the chance should ever arise to renew this love, I certainly wont shun that either. There are still a great many other serious emotional issues in my life that need to be dealt with before I could ever seriously commit to anyone on this level. If nothing else this has given me the strength and fortitude to adress these issues and plunge headlong into confronting them. I will be a better man, perhaps not than I have ever been... but certainly better than I have been for the last few years of my life. I am renewed, and I am whole again.


"The worst prison is a closed heart." --Karol Jozef Wojtyla, His Holiness Pope John Paul IIThis, sadly enough, is all too true - sometimes I wonder if I am still held captive by this at times - but I am breaking down walls with great swinging blows. There is light.

Good to know. ...and congratulations on your transformation.Thank you, Cog, its always nice to hear such kind and wise words. All the best to you in every way! :)

I dunno, I've been drop-kicked in a couple relationships so I've got a pretty bleak outlook on Love.

Allways seemed to be to be brought on by a percieved need. Otherwise, most people I know are to afraid to leave a relationship even if they are no longer in love and it comes down to a security issue..... or fear

But, thats probably just me
This is true in some senses, but if you are capable of recognizing the faults in the examples listed - you are that much further ahead as a person for doing so.

The only thing you need to find love is a little trust, a touch of hope, some confidence, and above all honesty - to yourself and others. :)

Later, in the early quiet after the lights were out, while the night settled itself uneasily, she came to my bed. She turned back the quilt and began to slide in beside me. “No,” I said positively. In the dimness her small face showed the pale light of a smile.

“Yes,” she explained.

I turned my face away into the pillow, disabled with regret, finding it strange that God had sent this woman to me. In his mind, would an obligation be discharged—or at least deferred? Did he recognize obligation? He was God. He might have chosen to punish me for my presumption, to punish me with the smallness of her cool narrow arms. I should not have dreamed of obligation. “Yes?” I said, talking into the pillow.

She came sometimes early in the night, sometimes when I slept, sometimes in the dawn. She came always silent as a dream, appropriately fairylike in her smallness, miraculous in her power. The laying on of hands. And I understood, and I was reconciled, and the bitter buds of pity and regret opened peonylike into gratitude and joy. It was a gift—a gift that God had put into her hands to give to me. It was exquisite, it was glad; and I wept, and I laughed, and her delicious small body and her lithe wise fingers lit multicolored joys through all my nerves. And I sang silently into her hair, against her smooth body. This came, too, this unexpected universe, under the heading of the small word sex. This was pleasure, a thing I had infrequently known, a thing pole-distant from the black urgencies that life knew how to rouse, the blinding explosions that resolved them in wreck.

Those nights, she broke upon me like a tempest, waves of lust and fury that overran each other and died not in satisfaction but in collapse. I was roused and tumbled, buffeted with the excitement of the gale that is past pain and near to glee. And in the spent surf of such a dying storm she turned on me a look of so much gentleness that I sank, desolate, forlorn past hope at last. She cared for me; somehow, in some sense, I was of importance to her, a subject for tenderness, a source of joy. Therefore I was lost.

Thank you, Cog, its always nice to hear such kind and wise words. All the best to you in every way! :)
But for the grace of God go I, so I am glad that my words have lightened your heart.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

...

Later, in the early quiet after the lights were out, while the night settled itself uneasily, she came to my bed. She turned back the quilt and.... <snip>
Wow, I'm smarter than I thought; I almost understood what the whole thing was about. :p

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

the original author is a good writer, u should write a book

I said goodbye to him, with the steam and smoke of the train swirling around us. He was tall and resplendent in his uniform. I felt undeserving of this man in my presence. We made promises of fidelity and strength to eachother, with assurances that we would reunite and raise loud, unabashedly confident, brilliant children.
We kissed amid the din of other mothers, wives, and daughters saying their farewells. The world stopped and started with the pressure of his mouth against mine. His hand settled chastely at my waist...he was never one for manhandling me in public. We fought back tears, as he held my cheek in one palm. I said goodbye to the man who shaped my life, taught me lessons of selflessness, romance, dedication and love. He embodied strength, duty and faithfulness. In my heart, in my realm and in my life he was the truth and color of passion. We were fools to promise that the separation would be brief.

The separation was not brief.

Two beautiful pieces. Im astounded at the level of romantisicm that has been displayed herein - there is hope for this world after all.

Two beautiful pieces. Im astounded at the level of romantisicm that has been displayed herein - there is hope for this world after all.

Yes we may have lost sanity but we still have romance.

Yes we may have lost sanity but we still have romance.
In finding true romance, one must lose sanity. ;)

In finding true romance, one must lose sanity. ;)

Haha. So Tin must have found true love? ;)

well if we're talking romance i'd like to share a poem that my bf wrote for me

elly, elly,
pretty fairy,
make me breakfast,
nice and early.


(yeah, i know, it sucks :rolleyes: )

well if we're talking romance i'd like to share a poem that my bf wrote for me

elly, elly,
pretty fairy,
make me breakfast,
nice and early.


(yeah, i know, it sucks :rolleyes: )
dude, i'm sure it's sweet and wonderful in context. but out of context, it's rhyme scheme is nonexistant, and he's ordering you to make him breakfast. that's not cool, yo.

dude, i'm sure it's sweet and wonderful in context. but out of context, it's rhyme scheme is nonexistant, and he's ordering you to make him breakfast. that's not cool, yo.
he doesn't even eat breakfast

he doesn't even eat breakfast
and now my brain hurts. thank you tink.

well if we're talking romance i'd like to share a poem that my bf wrote for me

elly, elly,
pretty fairy,
make me breakfast,
nice and early.


(yeah, i know, it sucks :rolleyes: )
I'm sure I can do a better job of romancing you ;)

I'm sure I can do a better job of romancing you ;)
write me a better poem then

Not a better poem, but this is from another time...

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio; sed fieri sentio, et excrucior.

I claimed the right to be young; to be moved by Catullus. I was trying to translate that poem—my first exercise in authentic Latin. The story of my life in two lines. “I hate and I love.” Those words were the data, incapable of alteration. Odious, amorous; yet the verbs of English had their taproots in deeper soil. “Why I do that, perhaps you ask. I don't know; but I feel it to be done.” Et excrucior: another datum. If I could translate that, the rest of the poem would be merely bricklaying. But if there was any direct English equivalent, I had so far failed to find it.

“I hate and I love. Why, you may ask. I don't know; but I feel it being done.” The passive infinitive (the inactive indefinite; or, say, the suffering unlimited). Fieri sentio: “to-be-being-done I feel.” I sense the happening. Et excrucior. “And I am crucified.”
But that was wrong, both in its literal inaccuracy and in its lack of a certain refinement. Or was it falsely that “excruciate” tinted excrucior for me? Was it indeed a fact (one of those observable concepts of which the world and science were constructed) that the greatest pains were the fruit not of bludgeons but of needles—not the crushed bone, but the delicately raveling nerve—so that, in the tortuous course of two or three millennia, what had meant simply the extremity of pain had come thereby to connote exquisiteness?

What had Catullus felt? That (I had read) was the true translator's question. Well, the cross was an instrument combining the principles of bludgeon and needle.
The ex troubled me. My knowledge and my books were inadequate to explain it. Excrucior: “I am taken down from the cross"? Or had ex, like per (thoroughly, thoroughly), its aspect of completeness? Outerly, utterly; “I am crucified out-and-out"?

But it was futile. (Another Latin word; futilis, futile, it would be. But what exactly did it signify? What was futility after all—one of the basic states of human existence, undefinable except by pointing, part of the impenetrable bedrock of etymology?) For crucifixion, since the Crucifixion, was irreversibly changed, dyed with the purple of sacrifice and glory. What Catullus had felt, rereading his stylused words, I could not feel. The shadows of his world were different, the punctuation different, and crucifixion as commonplace and as repugnant as hanging. And to translate from his mind, rather than his words, would be to write a new poem, or the poem anew—impossible, unless I were Catullus.

Futile, all futile, when in truth I could barely scratch out the literal meaning. Futile to be concerned with shades of skin color before I knew the structure of the skeleton. Grammar (knobby, articulated, concealing in stone-walled cells the leaven of life within), grammar refuted my pink and slovenly misshapes.

“I hate and love.” Had I ever comforted or soothed or tended a woman? Not for lack of trying, but for the fact that perhaps none had ever really sought it? And in time of crisis, what woman would cling to me for comfort? No; if they turned to me, it was as a tracking antenna to the missile that will smash it. And a wave of regret and pity went through me, to think that of all the women who had felt the pressure of my chest against their breasts, not one had clung there for comfort.

“I hate, I love. You may ask why I do it.
I don't know; but I feel it done, and it tortures me.”

Haha. So Tin must have found true love? ;)
LMAO

And at Tink's poem too.

:D

My boyfriend wrote me a great poem, around our one month anniversary. He was broke at the time so he made me a graphic and wrote a poem. :)

After the long, vague days of mist, I loved the sleek sky; loved especially the clear and brilliant clouds, truest white on their heights and ridges, shadowing their own slopes with the blue of ashes. They stood pure and definite like piled snow, unneatly firm as some engraving by William Blake. What had Blake said about line? Outline is reality. He had said it Blakishly, of course. Standing in far air, the real clouds shone and shadowed. But at close range they would be edgeless, lineless—a vague mist, obscure and obscuring. Yet that very obscurity was the sum of myriad surfaces, the entangled glitter of a billion crystal spheres, each comprised in a bounding line of mathematical trueness and demonstrable reality; so that (unless, as was probable, my grasp of Newtonian physics was infirm) the slovenly gray of the sky’s mists and heaven's exploded clouds was only, in generalized form, the radiant precision of the misty rainbow.

I watched the nobility of the ranked clouds, passing, with that stateliest motion perceivable by human eyes, across the high hemisphere of Heaven. Oh, lift me as a wave, a leaf, a cloud. Well, it was not the thorns of life that had drawn my blood, and I was, to all perception, tame, slow, and humble; but certainly I could feel my leaves falling. (Oops, there goes another—hectic red, that one.) Drive my dead thoughts over the universe Like withered leaves to quicken a new birth. Alas, poor Shelley. It took more than withered leaves. And no doubt Pluto, as much as Earth, had its forever-sequent spring.

Patterns of leaves upon the wind, billowing flights that went nowhere, sails of green lace that moved nothing, moved me. As burnist silver the leaf onglidez That thick con trill on everich bough. The little leaves, furred with their delicate birthcoats, colors of silver, colors of wine, and the hearttouching innocence of young green, misted the great elastic branches that surged and sprang in ponderous sweeps above my head. Every species had its shape—the lifting fountains of the dying elms, the broad layered pyramids of oaks, the rustic bouquets of the little blossoming redbuds. Already the eager maples spread broad leaves, like flocks of green stars, upon the wind.

They were not my friends, the trees. My friend was the chestnut horse that moved under me, warm in the sterile air. But I admired the trees, those static galleons, rooted like me in the graves of their ancestors. They drank the traveling air, the dead radiance of a star. They shadowed their shapes upon the passing wind and light. Every leaf held its place, a stitch of the tapestry, disordered by every breeze, primly returning with every calm. And when at last it fell, its one flight, spinning and beautiful, bore it to the grave of its birth. Year by year the epicycles wheeled. The trees remained. They bent; they broke at last; but they did not budge.

Hmm... Post something serious, and everyone walks away...

if you're in love someone chain them up and ever let them go

being in love with and loving are not the same thing

love is careing

in love is obsession

if you're in love someone chain them up and ever let them go

being in love with and loving are not the same thing

love is careing

in love is obsession
chain them up?! I knew you were a kinky b******

chain them up?! I knew you were a kinky b******


hee hee :D

wanna do the honors?

Love is all you need.......

J. Lennin


its lennon you idiot

lenin was a russian

hee hee :D

wanna do the honors?
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/2.gifhttp://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/51.gif ;)

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/2.gifhttp://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/51.gif ;)

hee hee LoL


so naughty

its lennon you idiot

lenin was a russian
oy! nobody calls Peechy an idiot! http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/disagree/17.gif

hee hee LoL


so naughty
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/21.gif

and now i'm gonna stop with the smiley spam

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/naughty/21.gif

and now i'm gonna stop with the smiley spam


oh :( and I was having fun

oh :( and I was having fun
me too :( but................they'll get me


ok, one last one http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/love/5.gif

me too :( but................they'll get me


ok, one last one http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/love/5.gif
:D :D

now i can go to bed happy

:D :D

now i can go to bed happy
:cool:

its lennon you idiot

lenin was a russian


Youre going to fit in just fine here......

Should I lure him to the Kazoo? *ponders*

write me a better poem then
I walked through rain all alone
Searching for some cover
Until I came across that girl
My gorgeous fairy lover

She took me underneath her wings
And gave me a single kiss
Now my heart belongs to her
And I give her sexy bliss

One day she may fly away
But tears she will not cause
Because my darling Fairy Tink
I will be always yours!

My threads been hijacked. :(

(carry on)

I walked through rain all alone
Searching for some cover
Until I came across that girl
My gorgeous fairy lover

She took me underneath her wings
And gave me a single kiss
Now my heart belongs to her
And I give her sexy bliss

One day she may fly away
But tears she will not cause
Because my darling Fairy Tink
I will be always yours!
wow, that is better! thank you :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

My threads been hijacked. :(

(carry on)
sorry

My threads been hijacked. :(

(carry on)


sorry Lasco-i made an off topic comment cause some newb called me an idiot. No mas para mi.

*sings*
What the world needs now is love sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of!

Some of the stories and experiences posted here are really beautiful and nice to read. Good luck with love everyone! :)

S'ok girls - I think this thread died yesterday when I posted my 'wah wah, shes leaving, shes left, shes gone' post. So that comment was sort of tongue in cheek - a little joke and not much more! (sorry to mislead you!)

Now I'm in that strange place though - somewhere between loving someone and needing to find love. I'm sure glad I don't perscribe to the philosophy of a one true love - I'd be proverbaly screwed! Ha!

*wanders off in search of true love* (http://freeweb.supereva.com/comics/download/wallpaper/CalvinHobbes.jpeg)

wander over to the Lake District

S'ok girls - I think this thread died yesterday when I posted my 'wah wah, shes leaving, shes left, shes gone' post. So that comment was sort of tongue in cheek - a little joke and not much more! (sorry to mislead you!)

Now I'm in that strange place though - somewhere between loving someone and needing to find love. I'm sure glad I don't perscribe to the philosophy of a one true love - I'd be proverbaly screwed! Ha!

*wanders off in search of true love* (http://freeweb.supereva.com/comics/download/wallpaper/CalvinHobbes.jpeg)
So this must be you:

It was possible to look into the chill air for a long time without realizing that rain was falling. Only the whitish blurring of a thin mist intervened, like a dingy windowpane, between eye and landscape. Then, refocused, the ever-falling drops showed faint and cold, like delicate beaded chains sliding and slanting across the blue.
Again, it was spring. Weary and irreversible, again the world heaved round. Autumns were falsely sad, patting the fat tears of success. But spring rose always again like a beaten fighter stumbling from his corner for still another round. There was nothing to say to the universe; it was; one could only turn away.
But I could not. I breathed, and the air was spring. In the woods, the trees stood definite and angled as black crystals; yet a scattered few were hazed with mists of color that showed, through the white rain, uncertain as illusions—faint green, fainter pink, like the pastels of an impressionist. I stood under the eaves, leaning and waiting. She might come. Or might not. And my mouth made the small, standard smile of acknowledgment, for I felt the weed of hope rising again, for one more spring.

wander over to the Lake District
*wanders over* Hey baby, whats shakin? ;)

So this must be you:
Yes, in fact that fits quite well. Thanks WL.

That sounds somehow familiar though, is it just my mind playing tricks on me - or have I seen that before? :confused:

*wanders over* Hey baby, whats shakin? ;)



give it an hour or two and my bed will be ;)




(wow that was bad :rolleyes: )

That sounds somehow familiar though, is it just my mind playing tricks on me - or have I seen that before? :confused:

Not unless you're logged onto my computer when I'm not around.

give it an hour or two and my bed will be ;)

(wow that was bad :rolleyes: )
Tink!! :eek: You naughty girl you!! ;)
Not unless you're logged onto my computer when I'm not around. Probably just reminded me of something I read then. The way my mind works, I could bridge the gap between Marquez and Dafoe without even knowing it. Haha! Good work though - thats some really good writing. :)

And this was me in 1987...

There were gifts. There were recompenses. I had not expected (I had not considered it) that jumping from a plane at high altitude would be the opening of a new world. A New World. And I understood at last (the realization flashing in and out of existence at first, then steadying, focusing, becoming examinable) something of what that phrase must have meant to Europeans of 1500, to Columbus himself. A New World. As one might say, a new universe. No. A new continuum. No. There was no word, since the beginning of my previous life (just ended) of multiplication and renewal, so final and whole as world had been.

To jump: the consummation of the most exquisite longings, the reality of the most delicious dreams. The whole globe of the world showed itself to me two-dimensional but enveloped in the perfect third. I bent myself to learn, to be quickly rid of my fears. To jump—it was by definition to be alone.

It was falling in the dazzling void of the Arizona air that I came to terms with death. All the mortal hardware that surrounded being a soldier had given me a brief mechanical thrill, like that of a carnival ride; the time in Basic Training and regular Airborne School had been interesting but trivial, disappointing as much as pride-engendering; the ease of it had seemed fraudulent. For the rest, I had poeticized suicidally, misusing Keats to ease my own midnights, and pondering the merits of knife and noose. It was suicide, not murder, I had meant when I had first enlisted in the Army, though I had earned my new knife another way. But under all the romantic frenzy my unperturbed and patient self had known that I had other engagements. And the silent slogan with which I greeted the days and the nights—I wish I were dead, I wish I were dead—was as hollow, and as comfortable, as the Now I lay me of my childhood.


Yet always when I look death in the face,
When I clamber to the heights of sleep,
Or when I grow excited with wine...


I had smiled at what seemed to me Yeats’ boastful simplicity, the casual implication of daily encounters with extinction. But now, above the desert hills, in the enormity of the humming air, I had my daily encounters. For the first time I teetered on the knife edge, not merely of possibility, but of temptation. Nothing held me up. Nothing above, nothing below. Sometimes a miniature cloud crawled forlornly along the out skirts of the tremendous sky. Otherwise I was alone. There was nothing that kept me precariously aloft from moment to moment. It was easy, it was inevitable, for me to fall into the unbounded blue, until my chute stumbled and hung, a momentary floating star, and the plane from which I plunged growled a new tune, and suddenly hollowed I was falling, backward into the nothing below.

It was enough. “Nobody dies of a malfunction,” my instructor had taught me; “only of fear.” I tilted my body downward ... downward ... still downward ... Whimpers rose in my throat, and my neck and arms prickled helplessly in the roaring air. Against the stiff resistance of my rational mind I pushed myself still farther in the direction of death. Still downward ... And now my chute caught the air, and I was flying again.

My hands on the risers trembled. I was running sweat, and in the cold blue sky I was chilly within a moment. I turned the chute and glided slowly, in wide circles, wheeling my way, with an eye on the ground, gradually back to the landing zone.

It was to become an exercise. I learned half a dozen ways to fall and recover. I learned to dive toward the ground and open my chute when it was almost too late. It was very calming. I looked with new eyes upon death, knowing now what my very existence should have taught me; shrugging off, unregarded, the destruction of multitudes, myself among them. Myself among them. There was no more to learn. The door of my death stood ajar, and a touch would open it.

Kissed by lips of Aphrodite.
Child of beauty.
Radiant design.

Eyes of blissful, crystal pleasure.
Paradise, in
Mortal paradigm.

Loveliness. Delight. Exquisite kiss.
Exotic blossom,
One refined

Lyrical elucidation
Of perfection.
Angel, intertwined,

Exquisitely, with wonder,
Awe and rapture,
Dream of the Divine…

Yet, breathless, hungry. Passion.
Sweet, enchanting,
Fair desire of mine.

Tink!! :eek: You naughty girl you!! ;)
I know, i feel like slapping myself, unless you wanna do it for me? ;)

I know, i feel like slapping myself, unless you wanna do it for me? ;)
Well, you do deserve a good spanking! :D

Well, you do deserve a good spanking! :D
definately! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

L-M, are you a writer? That first post was far and away beyond any level of eloquence I could hope to summon under similar circumstances.

It was really a great post to come across, if you'll pardon my saying so. First the title got a song I really like stuck in my head, and then the post itself left me with the hope that maybe I'll be similarly blindsided myself, some year or another.

(Sorry for getting back to the original topic. I'm not really trying to un-hijack the thread.)

L-M, are you a writer? That first post was far and away beyond any level of eloquence I could hope to summon under similar circumstances.

It was really a great post to come across, if you'll pardon my saying so. First the title got a song I really like stuck in my head, and then the post itself left me with the hope that maybe I'll be similarly blindsided myself, some year or another.

(Sorry for getting back to the original topic. I'm not really trying to un-hijack the thread.)

I have the feeling that L-M was or is an English major, as I was in college.

Today my ex-best friend heh... "with benefits", a long story, showed up at my house. After like almost a whole year of not talking he comes to my house. It's like err... umm... why are you here? What do you say to that? ARGH!! It's just twisted.

Today my ex-best friend heh... "with benefits", a long story, showed up at my house. After like almost a whole year of not talking he comes to my house. It's like err... umm... why are you here? What do you say to that? ARGH!! It's just twisted.
he must be there for a reason-namely hes lonely or realised hes an arse-hat!

Yesterday I met the woman I’ve been in love with for some time again. It was at a rehearsal for some sort of karaoke, but with a live band. Basically people get to choose a song, a band plays it and you sing it. I’m doing Silverchair’s Asylum.

Anyway, just before it was my turn she walked in and my hands got sweaty, so I got nervous because I play piano with the song. I sang the song twice only thinking of her and whether she would like it or not, cursing myself as I made a mistake or two. I my mind I dedicated it to her.

After I finished she wore a huge smile and thanked me with a wink. I had to take my beer with two hands. A little while later we started talking and we hung around till 4 am or so, me because I just wanted to see her as long as possible and I’m guessing she felt the same. I hope she did. She sprayed some perfume on me (Cindy Crawford or something) when we were kidding around.

When I left she promised to meet me again today. She would go with me to my room in my student home where I am right now. But she didn’t show up. I waited for half an hour or so and eventually took the bus with a big sigh.

I texted her where she had been. She might have just overslept. I don’t know. So now I’m sitting here. Smelling faintly of her perfume, glancing at my phone every 10 seconds…

nine months ago my girlfriend and i broke up. she came over, we had a drink, joked for a min....then she said she had something to tell me. so we go up to my room....she tells me that sometimes love is not enough...maybe you need something more...two or three weeks later she was dating a former good friend and he was also my roommate.

before her the girlfriend cheated....

the time before I stil find it hard to discuss.

my experiences in love have not all ended so harshly....nor have they all been the greatest moments of my life. However... several of the of best parts of my life to this point ...have been in the basking glow of Love. I am taking a haitus of sorts for a period of unspecified time....I also should add I was never the perfect boyfriend or lover...I too had faults.

Yesterday I met the woman I’ve been in love with for some time again. It was at a rehearsal for some sort of karaoke, but with a live band. Basically people get to choose a song, a band plays it and you sing it. I’m doing Silverchair’s Asylum.

Anyway, just before it was my turn she walked in and my hands got sweaty, so I got nervous because I play piano with the song. I sang the song twice only thinking of her and whether she would like it or not, cursing myself as I made a mistake or two. I my mind I dedicated it to her.

After I finished she wore a huge smile and thanked me with a wink. I had to take my beer with two hands. A little while later we started talking and we hung around till 4 am or so, me because I just wanted to see her as long as possible and I’m guessing she felt the same. I hope she did. She sprayed some perfume on me (Cindy Crawford or something) when we were kidding around.

When I left she promised to meet me again today. She would go with me to my room in my student home where I am right now. But she didn’t show up. I waited for half an hour or so and eventually took the bus with a big sigh.

I texted her where she had been. She might have just overslept. I don’t know. So now I’m sitting here. Smelling faintly of her perfume, glancing at my phone every 10 seconds…

YOU NEED TO READ THIS WHOLE SITE:

www.intellectualwhores.com

YOU'RE BEING USED, PAL.




"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."

--unknown

YOU NEED TO READ THIS WHOLE SITE:

www.intellectualwhores.com

YOU'RE BEING USED, PAL.




"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."

--unknown
Pffft. What do you know?

YOU NEED TO READ THIS WHOLE SITE:

www.intellectualwhores.com

YOU'RE BEING USED, PAL.




"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."

--unknown


*smacks this person up side the head*

if you have nothing positive to add, go away.

While I agree with Legless Pirates and Peechland, I must sadly conceed that site does seem to have some valid points :(

While I agree with Legless Pirates and Peechland, I must sadly conceed that site does seem to have some valid points :(
Well I can safely say that she IS sexually interested

Well I can safely say that she IS sexually interested

Huh? Who is :confused:

Huh? Who is :confused:
The woman from my story..... :rolleyes:

Peechy, you have a tg [/thread hijack]

The woman from my story..... :rolleyes:

Whoops, thought you were referring to someone who wrote that site. It's heavily suggestive of a high level of "shallowness" among people, which I can't refute (i.e. unfortunately, it seems to be a pretty accurate model for society these days)

BTW, the 1st post of this topic is novel grade, very touching. Great writing there Lascivious Maximus, really captured the scene really well :)

L-M, are you a writer?

It was really a great post to come across, if you'll pardon my saying so. First the title got a song I really like stuck in my head, and then the post itself left me with the hope that maybe I'll be similarly blindsided myself, some year or another.

(Sorry for getting back to the original topic. I'm not really trying to un-hijack the thread.)

Ah, haha, thank you very much for the compliment - but no, I'm not a writer at all. In fact, my job is as far from being creative or artistic as you can get, I'm an engineering technologist. Still, thank you ever so much, and I truly hope that you do one day get (as you say) blindsided by a love so true.

Oh, and thank you for getting this back on topic, I feel ashamed for hi-jacking my own thread!

I have the feeling that L-M was or is an English major, as I was in college.

I wish I had - though I'm not sure what I could accomplish with that. As stated above, I'm but a lowly engineering technologist and have little to no education in writing at whatsoever.

Yesterday I met the woman I’ve been in love with for some time again. <snip>

Thats awesome LP! I'm sure it was all just a misunderstanding that she didn't show up, no woman in her right mind would pass at the opportunity to be with a great guy like you, and I hope that it all works out! Go get her you stallion! :)

YOU NEED TO READ THIS WHOLE SITE:

YOU'RE BEING USED, PAL.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."

No, you're being a jackass, kindly take your flame-baiting, troll comments elsewhere. This is to be a pleasant discussion, not a place for people like you to take stabs at dashing the hopes of others. Shoo! Shoo!

BTW, the 1st post of this topic is novel grade, very touching. Great writing there Lascivious Maximus, really captured the scene really well :)
Again, thanks! You know, I really think you're being to kind all of you! But still, thank you ever so much!

Also, to those who have posted stories, they are a delight to read and I thank you dutifully for sharing them with us! :)

There, all caught up!

YOU NEED TO READ THIS WHOLE SITE:

www.intellectualwhores.com

YOU'RE BEING USED, PAL.



You have to admit though, that site is pretty entertaining.

As for true love and that, I have to say that I was sceptical for a very long time. I tend to adopt the over analytical logical view of the world. Loving your children as an aid to survival of the species and all that. So in my mind true love served, to a large extent, the same purpose as religion, (one of its purposes that is. Not going to get into that as I'm sure you've all heard it plenty of times before) a means to convince ourselves that our lives are somehow of more worth that they really are.

One hell of a relationship later, (just for clarification, here hell=good. I won't get into the exact details as I'm sure you've already read enough love stories here, and mine wasn't quite as picturesque as some of the others anyway) I have only this to say: There is a point where you know you would do anything, give anything, for this one person. That this person is vastly more important to you than you yourself are.

Anyhow, I'm now no longer able to be with her, (in Germany as an exchange student. Reasons are long and I sure as hell don't understand them fully myself, but I think that in the end our decision to separate was the right one.) but that experience has definitely thrown plenty of doubt into my nihilistic world view. I think that that feeling, that knowledge, is about the closest thing you can get to proof of something greater than ourselves, something far beyond what we can touch and smell.

I'm sure that most of you have heard this before, but telling it over and over makes me happy. And besides, after eight months here, my German isn't bad, but I'm certainly not to the point where I can explain stuff I don't understand myself.

And who knows, we're still young...

Thats the kind of story I like to hear. I wish you all the best - and Im sure that if you want it bad enough, and the feeling is shared, it will happen for you. ;)

hey people,
love is alive! I told my boyfriend how i feel about him last night,I didn't hold anything back and it went incredibly well. I'm not sure it could have got any better actually.
I have been too scared to tell him i love him as i thought it would really freak him out, but last night whilst lying in bed it seemed to be the right time.
I'd worked myself up so much in the past few weeks about telling him that it's such a relief that now he knows how i feel. Best thing is that he said he's been wondering how to tell me for a while now too.
Other than the horrid cold i seem to have developed today, I think I may be the happiest girl alive. I can't stop smiling, i feel like a cheshire cat.
Good luck in love everyone! :fluffle: :fluffle:

Jugendeherberge xx :)

In the room that was his bedroom, study, and arsenal (I could not even remember now, which it had been) I sought and found his hunting rifle and the treasured cartridges with which to load it. The everyday bow and quiver that stood beside the bed were too prosaic now for this day's hunt. I put my own saddle on the big dun and led one of the quarter horses. The cool October sun was high. Every deer in the county would be bedded down for the long rest. I tied the horses under the first trees of the woods, beside a leaf-padded pool. For a little way, the woods were open. Hickory, oak, ash, persimmon, sassafras, stood like good neighbors, a little withdrawn but with interlocking branches. It was the best of hiking weather, the worst for hunting. Dry leaves crackled at every step. Bare twigs curved in endless facsimiles of antlers. I went up the round swell of the hill that rose like a wooded cenotaph, and paused beneath its crest to ready the gun and let the noise of my tramping soak away into the quiet and be forgotten.

Beyond, the woods thickened. The down-slope was cut into deep, irregular gullies -- midget ravines that merged and intersected, their channels choked with many autumns' leaf falls. Buried at the slope's foot, a nameless creek felt its forgotten way. I crossed its dank smelling sandstone below one of the windfall dams that broke it into pools, and moved by slow gradations upstream along the wilder slope of the far side. Layered outcrops of stone, the miniature boulders cracked from them, and here and there a still-sound fallen log gave me silent footing through the rustling welter of autumn. At each step I paused, scanning the barely altered scene until every element of it declared itself clearly, and choosing the next few feet of my route. It was a stooping, twisting way, picked to avoid the tangled brush and branches rather than to bend them aside; movement visible was even more hazardous than movement audible. An automatic pleasure, like that of the rhythms of sex, possessed me. The sweet dark woods, the dear dim woods, the wonderful woods and glades. But it was a labyrinth that led to death. A necessary end, I came (eluctable and rambling) toward some victim no less stoic and foreseeing than Caesar.

In the light air, the faded leaves hung stiffly, gray-green and brown, palest beige and sallow. Here and there a single leaf spun and quivered, tinkling like a dry-mouthed bell. The creek below glinted at me occasionally through the brush, where meandering sunlight struck up from some clear minnow-pool; occasionally, even, a whisper of running water sounded. Between, stretches of sandstone and of silt (more exquisite than coral sand, scrolled with the tracks of the stream) had been swept clear of leaves by the wind. Where a bend had undercut a tree root, a late frog sang from his grotto. Elsewhere the creek lay silent and hidden, thatched with leaves.

Squirrels eyed me from the upper trunks. Persimmons, plum-sized, pumpkin-shaped, and pumpkin-colored, hung like the lights of a garden party along the threadbare umbrella-ribs of their branches. I was beyond all sight and sound of humankind. The birds of the fencerows and open wood lots had given place to the shyer, drabber birds of the deep woods. Sweet-voiced, nameless to me, they flitted with little suspicious cries about the fringes of my vision -- the only creatures in the woods whom my presence troubled. They would give warning (or so in my conceit I believed) if any warning were given. Only the mourning doves, imbecile and mild, ignored me.

I had neared the top of the creek's gentle gorge, the dangerous point where I must cross the ridge into the next tiny valley. Again I took my cautious step, and paused, and scanned. An old oak tree stood at the head of the gorge, and from my latest viewpoint I could see a single ascending column of dull crimson rosettes up the visible edge of the thick trunk -- the palmate, five-fingered leaves of the Virginia creeper, neatly graduated from large to small. Beneath and behind the oak, the undergrowth was hung with the open clusters of a young grapevine. The small black grapes, most of them already a little shriveled, were like lackluster eyes among the leaves. I stared at them, and they, pregnant with mighty vines upon which no boys would ever swing, stared steadily back. Then without alteration of the scene, another eye was staring. Larger and brighter, it poised motionless among the grapes. Slowly, as in those puzzle pictures in which the outlines of hidden beasts gradually reveal themselves to the concentrated sight, certain branches resolved into the beautiful forward curve of a raked antler.

From the height of the eye, he stood a good four feet. For minutes more, I could make out nothing of his actual fleshy presence -- only the symbolic eye and antler, like the grin of the Cheshire cat. I counted four points; adding a conservative two for concealed branches, and doubling for the other antler, I could assume a twelve-point buck -- old and wise and in all probability the master of a considerable harem. That antler raised a very practical question: should I try for the glorious headed stag, or for one of his more succulent dependents?

Then the line of his back came into focus, and I stiffened with silent lust. In those still woods, he and I were the stillest things. The creek whispered; every leafed thing burred and rustled; the birds exclaimed in quiet voices; the indifferent insects sang and whirred. What wind there was (a stirring in the damp earth's cover, a life in the hanging leaves) favored me. It was possible, for all the directness in that dark gaze, that he did not see me. I began to raise the gun.

There was no change in the solitary eye or the stretched outlines. Creepingly from inch to inch, with pauses, I lifted the rifle, until my cheek nested peacefully against the stock. Now I could see, or imagine that I saw, the even tan of his pelt showing in background patches between the patterning leaves and twigs. I chose a spot that offered as clear a trajectory as any to the broad target of his chest, and began that most delicate pleasure of the hunter, the gradual squeeze that is to trip the trigger exactly at one of those unprolongable instants when the swaying sights are mated perfectly upon the target.

But my stag, too, was cocked, and his triggering instant came an instant sooner. As the stock struck my cradling cheek and shoulder, and my ears rang with the shot, the buck was already in motion. He crashed across the slope into the next gorge.

I plunged wildly after, paused upon his track to look for blood, and followed far enough to be sure he was not wounded. There was no need to follow further now. Later, much later, when the calm hours of afternoon had lulled him, when responsibility had netted him round and routine emergencies disarmed him, my chance would come again. There were other deer in the woods, but he was mine.

I circled back to the edge of the woods where I had entered. I checked the horses, drank, relieved myself, gathered a double handful of persimmons, and stretched out with them and a slab of my own bread to rest and wait. By now he would have fled far enough. He would gather his harem, while I lay munching tranquilly in the thick dry grass. Herder, warder, leader, lover last and first, he would return to his familiar bonds. He would not wander far; like me, he had his bounds. And bound, oh, bound.... oh, bound. The swelled and shuddering word engorged my mind. The spring and fall of haunches in the leap, ridges and gullies of unleaving autumn, the maps of love, the ropes of life, trees rooted in the towing tides of the air ... bound, bound the leap of the heart, the limit of the deer. Until, released at last, the word found words and drained itself in the relieving trivialness of poetry. And, bound for the same bourn as I, On every road I wandered by, Trod beside me, close and dear, The beautiful and death-struck year. My eyes were open, the same persimmon trees hung their fruits before me; I stretched myself in the dry grass of the woods and finished my bread.

In the woods, here at the foot of the first hill, I had found one spring a shin-high stalk spiraled with cloud-white flowers. I had gazed, disturbed because I could not put a name to my pleasure, a long time into the tiny depths of the twisted blossoms. They were minute, fly-sized, and yet, in intricacy and grandeur, monumental, like expert miniatures of the Great Buddha. Slowly and sweetly I recognized that they were orchids.

That spring and others, I had found, too, the standard schoolbook wildflowers -- Dutchman's breeches, snowdrop, hepatica -- academic beauties that were somehow touching, rooted in the dirt; touching but unreal. More to the point were the flocks of sturdy little upright violets that we called rooster-fights, purpling sunny hillsides unregarded, mowed and trampled like the grass. And my orchids. Anomalous, unpredicted, and secret, they illuminated the woods.

I had wondered, sometimes, if John had known those orchids. Perhaps he had seen them and passed on, unrealizing, he to whose eyes all flowers were exotic. Solomon's seal, cinquefoil, heal-all -- he had delighted to name and touch the rugged blooms. Smartweed, ironweed, butterflyweed -- season after season, he named, he touched, but he did not pick. Yet I had seen him race and roll with a puppy's craziness in the red clover, and one day he had cut armloads of wild honeysuckle and ridden home triumphantly bedecked, in clouds of sweetness, with trailing stems twined in his vexed horse's mane. But honeysuckle or columbine, mullein or pigweed, they were no more native to him than the flamboyant flora of monsoon Asia, he who was descended from the twisted and rugged terrain of Korea. To John, the unyellowing ivory of miraculous orchids in the woods must be no more, no less, significant than the casual dayflowers whose blue blossoms and supine stalks we trampled every summer long. No, the orchids were mine forever.

My fingers curled in the stiff curled grass, and my mind rode back to the blaze of summer, where John lay, drenched with his sweat and mine, one bright arm flung like a wave cast across his face. It was not likely that I would see him so again. In that year, everything had been intensified, concentrated by a process of dehydration. Essences of day and night, of summer and winter; spring itself, too faint and swift to grasp, wringing the heart with one outrageous spasm; these things had suited the passions that lived within them, the hoarse and howling rages that swept down the shining stairs, the abandon (loose and laughing as drunkenness, but unblurred) of joy.

I had been resigned long since to the look in John's eyes, the look that lay far back like the silent shapes under deep water. A look of concern I could have forgiven, of anxiety, or of love; but it was more and worse than these, a look of vulnerability; I could not forgive him the fact that he allowed others to hurt him. Yet I had been resigned, for surely as the inevitable, uncertain spring, the pain would go. The pain would go, and the alien burden would be lifted from John, the far shapes die out from his eyes.

For the woods stood witness that his vulnerability could pass, that if his brain remembered, his heart could forget. Here, somewhere between the bramble-clogged roadside ditch and the scattered flat seeds of my persimmons, his memories had died among the leaves, opening the wound that would close at last, unnoticed, somewhere along the path.

I rolled over and sat up, remembering something that John has said once. "I wish you could have been with me all the time." All the time. The memory struck like a revelation, so that I heard the tones of his voice, reviewed the expressions of his face, hands, shoulders, all his guileless muscles. I had taken it then as a simple statement, no more. But it was more. I wish. Awkward with boyishness, unaccustomed to confession. You could have been. Helpless before the huge impossibilities of past and future. With me.

I checked my gun -- John's gun -- and stood up.

I knew my road now, and followed faithfully along it; up the hill, down the slope, across the creek, and upstream beside it. Below the head of the gorge I stood awhile, staring at the grape-eyed vine under the oak. He had his paths as well as I, and this was our only proven crossroads. But I did not meet him there, nor, working my way downhill, in the next valley. The lower reaches of the third were broad and ruggedly flat, a section that had been cut over more than once when this land belonged to somebody. Clumps of crimson sumac and little cedars made a low forest among the stumps and tall saplings. I stood for a long time surveying the gaps among the foliage. I could not afford another mistake. Slow waves of certainty succeeded one another: he would be here; he would not; he would be. Without surprise I grew aware of a certain brownness among the browns and reds and muted greens. I eased my head sideward a little, and made out the sleeping deer, folded snugly as a cat. A deer, but not my buck. One of his harem, perhaps; and in that hope, and expert with desire, I trod Indian-soft among the leaves, too busy to be moved by the intimacy of the scene that revealed itself to me.

He lay among his loves, his splendorous head resting at ease along his foreleg. Moving with the faint pulses of the breeze that washed in slow ripples down the valley, I found my way to a vantage point against an ash tree and raised John's gun. Heat throbbed in my face, nested my heart. He had been hunted before, this stag. But who, even in his incautious youth, had seen him thus helplessly abandoned to peace? I would have wagered my life, at that moment, that no one, since the Indians had tracked his ancestors through the virgin scrub of aboriginal forests, had witnessed this secret domesticity in the woods. His ancestors, not mine; immigrant in my very homeland, I could only imitate the ancient lords of the land. But the unbroken stream of his breed ran back, birth by birth, through wooded centuries before the first footfall of those first immigrants of whom the Indians had been the illegitimate heirs. I lowered the gun.

I could not take him so. In the end, I could not take him unawares. It was not, certainly, the classic perversion of sportsmen, obsolete from the moment of its conception, that morality demanded for the victim some chance of escape. No, my morality was older, more classic yet, the morality that distinguished between sacrifice and slaughter and had not yet dreamed of sport. In the end, it seemed to me, no death could be as cruelly unfair as the unfelt death in sleep. I leaned against the ash and waited. Time was my ally. Time: not the fourth dimension, but the first, the essential, without which the mere dimensions of space could not be born. Time: the matrix wherein we traced the shapes of beauty and power. For it was shape that gave significance. Form was beauty -- the classicists were right -- and power was form. Starlight swept along the curved lanes of the closed universe; planets wheeled in the grooves that Newton had not seen. Swinging down the paths of time, my deer and I would meet, rightly, as our predecessors had met, here beneath other trees, round centuries ago.

And now, leaning in the very heart of the still circle, looking with wordless patience upon the nested deer, I turned the curve of recollection for the thousandth time, and saw, for the first time, everything in its place.

I took a deep breath that swelled my chest with pride, and my eyes focused to a new intensity on the great stag. A thrill, slow but electric, passed through me. He was awake. I must have moved (perhaps I had breathed too vehemently), for he was aware of me. By infinite split seconds, time was draining past us.

Then he rose. One fused sequence of moments, heavy and lunging and yet effectively graceful, brought him to his feet and on his way. I had swung the gun up with all my speed, guessed an aim. It jerked against my hands; the cartridge had been good. He sprang.

Aborted and perfect, like the eternal gasp of violent art, his final spring hung before the leather-colored brushwood of his bed -- hung, altered, and fell. I pushed forward, afire with the one hope that he would need no second shot, while my provident hands prepared the gun for it. The woods around me burst with exploding deer, the does scattering in panic our of the depths of sleep. He lay crashed upon the broken underbrush. The dark vast eye loomed above his cheek. The sinewy prongs of his antlers, wood like neither dead nor living, skewed his head into an awkwardness that seemed to guarantee the honesty of his proposition: I am dead. I squatted beside him and drew my knife, holding it ready to the warm, golden throat. Death, in theory so final and so certain, had mocked me before. His legs were stretched, a little more than half tense. I lifted one of the beautiful cloven forefeet and teased my knife into its depths, grazing the point against the black quick, but I did not plunge, not pry. I would not force him to betray his life, if he lived. Only, I gazed into the round brown eyes. There, if he lived, he would betray himself. There life would gleam, or flicker, or deeply glow, or fire up at me some uncontrollable bolt of intelligence or enmity. So I gazed into that dark globe, dived it, navigated it, sank and surfaced and swept along its curve. He was dead.

And I remembered only then to notice the wound. My bullet had pierced the skull at its vulnerable point and thrust into the secret soft core of his brain. My right hand brushed, unknowing, the little unsealed opening in the warm pelt, and small dark clots of his blood clung to me. He had been dead already when he sank upon the leaves.

Thats awesome LP! I'm sure it was all just a misunderstanding that she didn't show up, no woman in her right mind would pass at the opportunity to be with a great guy like you, and I hope that it all works out! Go get her you stallion! :)
The batteries on her alarm clock went flat....... :(

they say uni is the best place to meet like-minded & intelligent women, but i'm coming up to the end of my second year here and i can't see how that's true.
"They" lie through their teeth, don't they? Though I'm only a first year, I have discovered these truths:
a) Anyone you take an interest in has a mate already - leading into:
1. The relationship remains perpetually stable, OR
2. The relationship is a nasty mess that talking about, and complicating by your own presence, will probably spell disaster at some point for everyone involved.
b) In addition to the first, whoever you happen to like also has other potential suitors already lined up. If you're not one of the "alpha male" types, you're in trouble.

Thus, it would seem allowing love to find you would be the best solution; however, thats what happened in my first serious relationship, which ended extremely awkwardly and though we remain friends, there is still a bunch of emotions and feelings that haven't settled due to the manner the love relationship was "terminated." I didn't have the good fortune to end happily as much as tragically.

They say all is fair in love and war; but sometimes I can't help but wonder what the difference is between them...

"They" lie through their teeth, don't they? Though I'm only a first year, I have discovered these truths:
a) Anyone you take an interest in has a mate already - leading into:
1. The relationship remains perpetually stable, OR
2. The relationship is a nasty mess that talking about, and complicating by your own presence, will probably spell disaster at some point for everyone involved.
b) In addition to the first, whoever you happen to like also has other potential suitors already lined up. If you're not one of the "alpha male" types, you're in trouble.

Thus, it would seem allowing love to find you would be the best solution; however, thats what happened in my first serious relationship, which ended extremely awkwardly and though we remain friends, there is still a bunch of emotions and feelings that haven't settled due to the manner the love relationship was "terminated." I didn't have the good fortune to end happily as much as tragically.

They say all is fair in love and war; but sometimes I can't help but wonder what the difference is between them...

Meet women through an Internet service. It worked for me.