NationStates Jolt Archive

Closer.

What a load of crap. Honestly. Script: sucked. Story line: sucked. Acting: sucked. It couldn't even be considered a story! In order for that to happen, there would have to be some sort of change in at least one of the characters. There would have to be some sort of lesson. It was all meaningless bullshit! GAR!!! What a waste of $3 and a chunk of my life. Jude Law and Julia Roberts couldn't even save this one. Of course, they both belong on soaps, so that's not much of a surprise.

What's everybody's worst movie experiences? Did you bail, or suffer the pain to get at least part of your money's worth?

As bad as this may sound to some, The Passion of the Christ was a horrible film. For fifteen minutes I watch them whip his back, and I think that finally something might happen, but no- they just turn him around and spend five more minutes lashing the front side and pulling skin from between his ribs. And Jesus had about forty elephant's worth of blood in him. He was leaving pools behind him and still telling his disciples to deliver messages and whatnot while being dragged away. I tried to be deeply moved (if you can try) but I spent most of the time flinching instead of crying, while the Church Knitting Circle broke into very audible sobs, one woman even wailed a little. I should have chosen a less gory movie, like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

As bad as this may sound to some, The Passion of the Christ was a horrible film. For fifteen minutes I watch them whip his back, and I think that finally something might happen, but no- they just turn him around and spend five more minutes lashing the front side and pulling skin from between his ribs. And Jesus had about forty elephant's worth of blood in him. He was leaving pools behind him and still telling his disciples to deliver messages and whatnot while being dragged away. I tried to be deeply moved (if you can try) but I spent most of the time flinching instead of crying, while the Church Knitting Circle broke into very audible sobs, one woman even wailed a little. I should have chosen a less gory movie, like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
I had a one-word reaction to that movie:

"Meh."

As bad as this may sound to some, The Passion of the Christ was a horrible film. For fifteen minutes I watch them whip his back, and I think that finally something might happen, but no- they just turn him around and spend five more minutes lashing the front side and pulling skin from between his ribs. That remains the only movie I've walked out of!

Sitting through twenty minutes of flogging just to be rewarded with more christian bollocks... I decided I could have more fun at the arcade outside!

YAY! I'm quoted.

That remains the only movie I've walked out of!

Sitting through twenty minutes of flogging just to be rewarded with more christian bollocks... I decided I could have more fun at the arcade outside!

This is off-topic, but... What game(s) did you play?

That remains the only movie I've walked out of!

Sitting through twenty minutes of flogging just to be rewarded with more christian bollocks... I decided I could have more fun at the arcade outside!

Are you serious? See, I went because a friend of mine asked me to go so that I could tell his girlfriend that yes, it really did suck, and it happened that a bunch of people that go to my church were there- walled in, no escape. At least I didn't disappoint my friend ;) .

Closer.

What a load of crap. Honestly. Script: sucked. Story line: sucked. Acting: sucked. It couldn't even be considered a story! In order for that to happen, there would have to be some sort of change in at least one of the characters. There would have to be some sort of lesson. It was all meaningless bullshit! GAR!!! What a waste of $3 and a chunk of my life. Jude Law and Julia Roberts couldn't even save this one. Of course, they both belong on soaps, so that's not much of a surprise.

What's everybody's worst movie experiences? Did you bail, or suffer the pain to get at least part of your money's worth?
You only pay $3 for a movie???

The worst movie I've ever seen was a movie called "Q" about a Mexican monster...

This is off-topic, but... What game(s) did you play?Hehe "Competition pistol shooting" or something...

Was more fun that a poke in the eye than a sharp stick (Or a flog on the back with a leather strap :) )

They're filming Mission:Impossible 3. :(

Hehe "Competition pistol shooting" or something...

Was more fun that a poke in the eye than a sharp stick (Or a flog on the back with a leather strap :) )

Flog on the back with a leather strap... competition pistol shooting... flog on the back with a leather strap... competition pistol shooting. Tough call, tough call. Needless to say, poke in the eye with a sharp stick crushes them both.

Not many things can beat the spectacle of a poke in the eye with a pointed stick.

Got that right. Which is why I was more than a bit disappointed when pokes in the eye with sharp sticks were strangely absent from The Passion. I mean, flogging, crown of thorns, crucifixion- no sharp sticks? IS THIS A MADHOUSE!?!

About a year ago i saw this movie on sci-fi, and , while i was expecting a good movie, i ended up seeing this weird "psycho-thriller" where the guy would experience something and then find out he was imagining it, then find out he was imagining that.... I hate those movies.

My mom wants me to find time to watch the passion. Idont need any more christian bs shoved down my throat, so no thanks...

Mmmm... pointy stick.

As long the name Uwe Boll is not attached to the film, it potentially remains viewable.

Passion of Christ?

Overexagerated, boring, used wrong languages, not very violent, and pointless.

Got that right. Which is why I was more than a bit disappointed when pokes in the eye with sharp sticks were strangely absent from The Passion. I mean, flogging, crown of thorns, crucifixion- no sharp sticks? IS THIS A MADHOUSE!?!

Yes, it is a madhouse. And would it have killed them to show just ten seconds of sodomy?

...Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up...

Really, I think ten seconds of sodomy is what every movie needs. Except for those, of course, whose main focus is sodomy, in which case I do not see why you would need more. It would be like adding crappy lines to a Steven Segal movie (cue laugh track). There are already enough.

You, sir, deserve a cookie.

*hands you a cookie*

the worst movie i've seen in a theater was "house of 1000 corpses"

Erm, "House of 1,000 Corpses" was meant to be bad. It was a sendup of crappy horror movies from the 1970's. It did its job, and it did it well.

Alone in the Dark. I don't even know why I saw it, maybe I was drunk or something.

Oh, right. Forgot to mention. Rented it. Nothing's really worth seeing in theaters anymore. :(

I saw LAST ACTION HERO in the theatre!

You, sir, deserve a cookie.

*hands you a cookie*

Ooh, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

As long the name Uwe Boll is not attached to the film, it potentially remains viewable.


That bucket of piss made "hosue of the dead" didnt he?

I saw LAST ACTION HERO in the theatre!

Our hearts are all with you.

Erm, "House of 1,000 Corpses" was meant to be bad. It was a sendup of crappy horror movies from the 1970's. It did its job, and it did it well.


The only thing it did well was end.

ANd it seemed soooooo much longer than it was because it was soooooooo boring.

That bucket of piss made "hosue of the dead" didnt he?

Yep. It's like the moron's mission is to grab as many video game licenses as possible and shit all over them under the guise of making film.

Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne have suffered as a result of this jackass.

Sign here and stop him!

Fire Uwe Boll (http://www.petitiononline.com/UweBoll/petition.html)

I think Magnolia sucked

As bad as this may sound to some, The Passion of the Christ was a horrible film. For fifteen minutes I watch them whip his back, and I think that finally something might happen, but no- they just turn him around and spend five more minutes lashing the front side and pulling skin from between his ribs. And Jesus had about forty elephant's worth of blood in him. He was leaving pools behind him and still telling his disciples to deliver messages and whatnot while being dragged away. I tried to be deeply moved (if you can try) but I spent most of the time flinching instead of crying, while the Church Knitting Circle broke into very audible sobs, one woman even wailed a little. I should have chosen a less gory movie, like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I can't believe you didn't like Passion! I saw it for the first time today. I was in Wichita this morning on business - and I had some time to kill - So I go see it. As I'm gulping down my popcorn and large coke, the lady next to me keels over dead:

http://www.kake.com/home/headlines/653662.html

A little freaked out, I took a little smoke-break in the lobby. While I'm out there, Quentin Tarentino comes lurching out of the theatre. He's holding his stomach and looks a little green. "That is some sick shit" he says, then runs toward the bathroom with his hand clamped over his mouth.

When I get back inside, the movie is just about over. Jesus is only moments away from death. Then, a miracle happens. Jesus lifts his head, cries out to the crowd: "I'm gettin' too old for this shit" and proceeds to pull his battered body off the cross. Mary rushes to him and {strangely} pulls out a Scottish Claymore sword. Gripping the huge sword, Jesus starts hacking through everybody: Jews, Romans and countrymen! This is where the awesome special effects really kick in. From hidden ports all the theatre, streams of fake blood start spurting all over the audience. It was freaking insane!

Okay, this is where the movie starts getting kinda wierd. I'm no bible expert, but I don't remember Moses being at the crucifiction - but there he is: Charleton Heston does the cameo as Moses. He appears to hover toward Christ in the midst of the carnage. He reaches out and touches Christs bloody sword. Miraculously, the Claymore morphs into an assault rifle as more Roman soldiers appear on the scene. The Romans seemed to be led by some sort of post-apocolyptic mutant. As Jesus starts to mow down the soldiers, he starts to chant ancient Aramaic proverbs like:

Maketh my day, mother-knower!
Covet this, you scabrous donkey-bandit!
Asta la vista, you leprous money-changer!
Screweth the meek, This savior just ran out of cheeks!

It was really amazing! I wasn't aware that Pontius Pilate was actually a Cyborg! I must have been snoozing during Sunday school. I don't want give out too many spoilers - but the final scene was very powerful. Jesus stands alone on a mountain of the dead, blood is pooling up everywhere, and just when you think it's it over... another person appears: It's Judas! Christ walks over to him:

"You denying me?"
"I'm the only one here."
"You denying me?"

Jesus lifts the gun

"Judas, Say hello to my little friend"

Then, in matrix-like slow-mo, Jesus unloads a full clip into Judas.

It was awesome!!!! I was so impressed that on the way out I spent about 300 bucks on "Passion" merchandise. I got a set of pewter nails, a pine-scent crown of thorns for my truck, and a full set of mini's, rules and a hex-map of the 14 stations.

I heartily recommend this movie. Not since the first 20 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan" have I seen such powerful historical drama. Thumbs up!!

I can't believe you didn't like Passion! I saw it for the first time today. I was in Wichita this morning on business - and I had some time to kill - So I go see it. As I'm gulping down my popcorn and large coke, the lady next to me keels over dead:

http://www.kake.com/home/headlines/653662.html
I smell a lawsuit coming.

-snip-

So, how do those mushrooms taste?

(No more posts tonight for me.)
Lawsuits come often. I can taste, feel, hear, and see them, but not smell them. You're alone there.

I'd just like to say that 'Lost in Translation' was the last movie that I couldn't be arsed watching til the end, cause it was so boring and formulaic.
Also 'Sky Captain and the something something of tomorrow' was shit. I can't even remember what the story was about or how it ended. A giant robot or something.

I would have watched Passion of the Christ if it had Karol Wojtyla in it.

(No more posts tonight for me.)
Lawsuits come often. I can taste, feel, hear, and see them, but not smell them. You're alone there.
Smelling a lawsuit coming is my special super power.

Our hearts are all with you.

Thanks.
If it wasn't for Queensryche being on the soundtrack, I'm not sure I'd have survived.

Then again, my friend took his new girlfriend to see Highlander:2 on opening night... :eek:

Then again, my friend took his new girlfriend to see Highlander:2 on opening night... :eek:
Let me guess, she wasn't his girlfriend for long, right?

I smell a lawsuit coming.
Mel Gibson would probably defend himself on the basis that she was a demon and the movie exorcised her.

Mel Gibson would probably defend himself on the basis that she was a demon and the movie exorcised her.
That would work ;)

The passion of the christ was the next logical step in the entire progress of the christian religion.

Melvin Gibson just made stuff up, like a great many evangelists before him and apostles before them.

Mel Gibson would probably defend himself on the basis that she was a demon and the movie exorcised her.
Sound's like a good defense to me.

Thanks.
...Then again, my friend took his new girlfriend to see Highlander:2 on opening night... :eek:

I think you win there. I did not have the misfortune to see that piece of crap in the theatre. If I did, I believe I might have walked. That was one of worst movies of all time.

The passion of the christ was the next logical step in the entire progress of the christian religion.

Melvin Gibson just made stuff up, like a great many evangelists before him and apostles before them.
Melvin Gibson?!

Melvin Gibson?!

:D

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Yep. It's like the moron's mission is to grab as many video game licenses as possible and shit all over them under the guise of making film.

Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne have suffered as a result of this jackass.

Sign here and stop him!

Fire Uwe Boll (http://www.petitiononline.com/UweBoll/petition.html)
I heard Uwe Boll can only have an orgasm everytime he buys a video game license and makes a shitty movie with it.

Let me guess, she wasn't his girlfriend for long, right?

Let's just say, he ended up at more than one chick flick for "penance".

I think you win there. I did not have the misfortune to see that piece of crap in the theatre. If I did, I believe I might have walked. That was one of worst movies of all time.

I nearly walked out of About Schmidt (was on a date, couldn't), and The Thin Red Line (keep hoping it'd get better. It didn't.) and Messenger: Joan of Arc.

Hmm. I really need to start voting with my feet more often.

Let's just say, he ended up at more than one chick flick for "penance".
For the crime inflicted, he got off easy.

You only pay $3 for a movie???

The worst movie I've ever seen was a movie called "Q" about a Mexican monster...

how can anyone not like Q, that movie ruled, it was such an old school giant stop motion animation monster movie, i loved it. i suppose you didn't like the originals like valley of the gwangi or 20 million miles to earth or the beast from 20,000 fathoms

Ehh dont vote with your feet...

Go on ebay and buy some scalpel handles and scalpel blades (num 23 are good because they have sharp tips)

Get a rigid eyeglass case and fill it with tissue paper and two scalpels with fresh blades.

During the movie pass one off to your bud and proceed to start butchering the seat you're sitting in or the seat to your side. see if you can take 'souveniers' in the form of large pieces of upholstry.

Bonus points if you carve out the cushiony shit inside.


Fucking ponce movie theatres and their shitty movies and showing tv commercials beforehand... i put lots of phu quoc nuc mom fish sauce in a movie theater once i HATE THEM.

Closer.

What a load of crap. Honestly. Script: sucked. Story line: sucked. Acting: sucked. It couldn't even be considered a story! In order for that to happen, there would have to be some sort of change in at least one of the characters. There would have to be some sort of lesson. It was all meaningless bullshit! GAR!!! What a waste of $3 and a chunk of my life.
OMG! I just watched closer last night and had the exact same reaction. I was pissed because I thought it might be good. Incredibly overrated(especially by you Oprah!).

P.S. It seems we squirrels have some common opinions.

Hmmm worst movie,

The West Side Story

Good God that was a gay movie. IF there ever was a movie for homosexual men, that would be it! The only reason I watched the damn film is that I'm taking art class, and somehow this is art.

I just saw the movie Sin City, and that was rather bad. Not so much the acting, or anything...it just offended my sense of logic. Without spoiling too much for someone who's not seen it and wants to, there are four completely unrelated storylines, the characters in all of which are rather...off. In any case, its interesting in an acid-trippy sort of way.

Another pretty horrible movie was Tomb Raider. Now, granted, I saw this on a 12 inch screen, but an hour and a half of tight shirts and much running did nothing to improve the film, sorry.

I just saw the movie Sin City, and that was rather bad. Not so much the acting, or anything...it just offended my sense of logic. Without spoiling too much for someone who's not seen it and wants to, there are four completely unrelated storylines, the characters in all of which are rather...off. In any case, its interesting in an acid-trippy sort of way.

Another pretty horrible movie was Tomb Raider. Now, granted, I saw this on a 12 inch screen, but an hour and a half of tight shirts and much running did nothing to improve the film, sorry.

It seems we've forgotten what the film was REALLY suspose to do. ;)

The worst movie Ive ever seen has to be "Dude Where's My Car?". Sadly, I decided to stick through it in hopes that soon something funny would happen, but nothing ever did. This movie was so bad that the people who made the commercials for it hid the true storyline from you knowing you would never go watch it if you knew.

I absolutely HATED "Thin Red Line". It stands today in my mind as the most overrated, bloated sack of crap ever. Terrance Malick disappeared from the world for twenty years, I wish he'd stayed away for twenty more.

What annoys me more than anything is that the actual book that the movie is based off is quite good. The film on the other hand is just loaded with God-awful quasi-intellectual bullshit spouted off by characters in never-ending monologues and about 50 million close-ups of bugs and sunlight coming through leaves. The only enjoyment I got out of that movie was watching Jim Caviezel die.

Not a film as such, but my friend brought "The Pub Landlord" stand-up DVD round to my house. I tried really hard to like it. REALLY hard. However, after half an hour of some bald-headed twat with an Essex accent saying "What's your name, squire?" (that should be "Woss ya naime, squoiya?"), waiting for a reply, (for example, John) then saying "Beautiful British name" (without any of the 'T's) without caring whether the guy had said John or Sanjay then asking "What do you do?", waiting for the reply (example: taxi driver) and then just repeating it and waiting for a laugh.... "Taxi driver......." [oh.... hahahahahaha how fucking hilarious] I wanted to kill myself. No, correction, I wanted to kill him.

The most annoying if not the WORST film I've ever seen I beleive is the Cube.

Canadian made intellecualist crap with a nice christian moralistic ending - the retard is the only one that makes it out of the damn place, because all the intelligent people end up killing each other. Eitherway, after sitting through two hours of watching them overcome puzzles and slowly be picked off by various punishments when they fail a puzzle, it just seemed like such an anti climax.

.i.e. How can you have a film THIS dark with such a pansy assed ending?

The worst movie I recently saw was the grudge. Pathetic acting, pathetic special effects, and "scary music" giving plenty of warning in advance whenever an extremely predictable scare scene came up. Add an utterly unoriginal storyline and the result was boredom.

Then again, it seemed to scare some of the people in the cinema.

Worst movie of all times.. let me think about that :)

The worst movie I recently saw was the grudge. Pathetic acting, pathetic special effects, and "scary music" giving plenty of warning in advance whenever an extremely predictable scare scene came up. Add an utterly unoriginal storyline and the result was boredom.

Then again, it seemed to scare some of the people in the cinema.

Worst movie of all times.. let me think about that :)

I'd second that, although not my worst recent movie, it was extremely bad, especially compared to Ju-On, it just felt like they'd taken the story, butchered it, dropped sarah michelle gellar in it for damage control, and released it like rats leaving a sinking ship.

Bah... THE worst movie, the one movie you couldn't pay me to see again, the one move with THE WORST... Acting... Script... Sountrack... is...






"THEY LIVE" Starring RODDY PIPER...

I challenge anyone to find a worst movie than this.

I mean MANOS: THE HAND OF FATE was better.

Worst ending ever: AI.......... ugh! Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up! The kid should have stayed down there for eternity. That should have been the end.

Worst ending ever: AI.......... ugh! Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up! The kid should have stayed down there for eternity. That should have been the end.

I thought the ending, and the rest of the movie were great.

Then we differ in opinion.

"THEY LIVE" Starring RODDY PIPER... Blasphemer! How could you not like a movie in which there is a fifteen minute fight over a pair of sunglasses!?

And AI was mediocre, it wasn't horrible or nothing, but I spent a lot of them time thinking "I wonder what Kubrick would have done here?".

Oh and MANOS: THE HAND OF FATE is goddamn awful, but I think FEEDERS 1 and 2 take the prize for most horrible films. Shitty special effects, nonsensical storyline, a verbal holocaust of a "script" and in the end Santa saves us from the aliens with his plastic ray-gun.

Blasphemer! How could you not like a movie in which there is a fifteen minute fight over a pair of sunglasses!?You know... you're the only other person I've come across that actually admits seeing that peace of drek.

Worst ending ever: AI.......... ugh! Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up! The kid should have stayed down there for eternity. That should have been the end.
I had the feeling that this was meant to be the ending, but like 'The Piano', the frigging Movie Studio freaked and decided that us lowly peons wouldn't be able to handle a sad ending, so stuck on a real shitty tacky crappy fucked-up pile of faeces shitola cropolitic scatological one that's meant to make us feel good.
The worst movie Ive ever seen has to be "Dude Where's My Car?". Sadly, I decided to stick through it in hopes that soon something funny would happen, but nothing ever did. This movie was so bad that the people who made the commercials for it hid the true storyline from you knowing you would never go watch it if you knew. Oh, god that was sooooo crappy and unfunny. I went along, like you thinking this will be a funny silly mindless movie. Unfotunately it was only mindless. When they said it was a laugh a minute, I didn't realise they were being totally honest:
1st minute: Ha.
2nd minute: Ha.
3rd minue: Ha.
and so on and so forth.
I would like to add 'American Pie' series to the list as well. It just wasn't funny. A whole movie built around a tasteless 1 minute 'joke'. Popular only because the studios know teenagers will think it'll offend their parents.
When watching these pieces of crapola I start to wonder how much reviewers must get paid to write that these are hilarious movies. It's a job I could handle, having little or no scruples.

The most annoying if not the WORST film I've ever seen I beleive is the Cube.

Canadian made intellecualist crap with a nice christian moralistic ending - the retard is the only one that makes it out of the damn place, because all the intelligent people end up killing each other. Eitherway, after sitting through two hours of watching them overcome puzzles and slowly be picked off by various punishments when they fail a puzzle, it just seemed like such an anti climax.

.i.e. How can you have a film THIS dark with such a pansy assed ending?
I enjoyed the movie up until the last 10 minutes or so. Felt like they either ran out of money or couldn't think of an ending, so just finished it. When one of them (can't remember which one, possibly the cop) intentionally kills one it looked like he was part of the plan (which would have been cool), but no he just suddenly goes psycho for no reason (other than possibly hurry up the ending). So stupid.
I keep seeing Hypercube (Cube II) in the shops, but have yet to feel like buying it. Maybe one day. If I see it for less than $10HK (a bit over $1US). The cheapest I've seen so far has been $13HK, so it's close.

I absolutely HATED "Thin Red Line". It stands today in my mind as the most overrated, bloated sack of crap ever. Terrance Malick disappeared from the world for twenty years, I wish he'd stayed away for twenty more.

What annoys me more than anything is that the actual book that the movie is based off is quite good. The film on the other hand is just loaded with God-awful quasi-intellectual bullshit spouted off by characters in never-ending monologues and about 50 million close-ups of bugs and sunlight coming through leaves. The only enjoyment I got out of that movie was watching Jim Caviezel die.

I agree, though I also enjoyed Woody Harleson blowing up his own ass.

It was really, really awful. It's in my "Worst 10 of All Time" list.

driven with sly stallon, completly useless

Bah... THE worst movie, the one movie you couldn't pay me to see again, the one move with THE WORST... Acting... Script... Sountrack... is...


"THEY LIVE" Starring RODDY PIPER...

I challenge anyone to find a worst movie than this.

I mean MANOS: THE HAND OF FATE was better.

Dude, it's SUPPOSED to be bad -- it was a 80s cheese flick!

Dude, it's SUPPOSED to be bad -- it was a 80s cheese flick!No... Jack Frost (the killer snowman movie) was suppose to be bad. THEY LIVE failed at being a purposely bad flick... and yes... I saw it too... fortunatly it was on Cable that I saw it.

THEY LIVE failed at being a purposely bad flick... Return of the Living Dead on the other hand ;)

"Send more cops!"

Return of the Living Dead on the other hand ;)

"Send more cops!" :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

The worst movie I recently saw was the grudge. Pathetic acting, pathetic special effects, and "scary music" giving plenty of warning in advance whenever an extremely predictable scare scene came up. Add an utterly unoriginal storyline and the result was boredom.

Then again, it seemed to scare some of the people in the cinema.

Worst movie of all times.. let me think about that :)

I wouldn't know if The Grudge was bad or not, as I feel asleep about 20 minutes in...Worst film I've sat all the way through was Van Helsing. Words fail me when I try to describe it.
And I know I'm going to be disappointed by Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, but I'll go see it anyway.
Ooooh - the Magic Roundabout film. My fucking god, did they butcher the whole point of that show!

Worst film I've sat all the way through was Van Helsing. Words fail me when I try to describe it.


This reminds me: no mater how much you may enjoy seeing Kate Beckinsale's ass, if you watch Underworld, you may have a pretty strong urge to hunt down both the writer and director and do highly punishable things to them :p

This reminds me: no mater how much you may enjoy seeing Kate Beckinsale's ass, if you watch Underworld, you may have a pretty strong urge to hunt down both the writer and director and do highly punishable things to them :p
Why'd you think I went to see Van Helsing?

Van Helsing was a piece of crap. Another movie where I should've just left, then I could have at least gotten my money back. But I was young... and foolish. I thought Hugh Jackman killing vampires with a crossbow would be cool. Woe is me, oh woe is me.

The Passion of the Christ was basically tortue for two and a half hours. I also found the official JRV rating! http://studentorgs.utexas.edu/buh/pics/valentine/meh.jpg Thats the best I could find.

OMG! I just watched closer last night and had the exact same reaction. I was pissed because I thought it might be good. Incredibly overrated(especially by you Oprah!).

P.S. It seems we squirrels have some common opinions.

next time you consider taking oprahs "recomendation" on a movie you should know that as a media person she is "paid" to like whatever movie is being promoted on her show that day. she will NEVER say "oh jude, this movie is a piece of shit how did you end up in it?"

AAAHHHHH! Too much crap! The crapiness must stop or we will all perish! But anyway, has anyone seen The Day After Tomorrow? What a waste of good speical effects! Those people should be putting their attention on a decent War of the Worlds movie.

next time you consider taking oprahs "recomendation" on a movie you should know that as a media person she is "paid" to like whatever movie is being promoted on her show that day. she will NEVER say "oh jude, this movie is a piece of shit how did you end up in it?"
lol yes. true. sometimes I just get caught up in the Oprah hype.

Worst movie of all time? Would have to be "Miracle Mile", the steaming pile of crap that recounts the factually unsound tale of some far fetched nuclear disaster striking the mid Wilshire district of Los Angeles where not more than ten minutes after the city has been evacuated, packs of coyotes have already found their way into fast food restaurants and are making quick work of the still warm meals left there. I can't believe the actors were even able to say their dialogue with a straight face. I'd give a lot to see the reel of outtakes on that one, must have been hysterical.

Worst movie of all time? Would have to be "Miracle Mile", the steaming pile of crap that recounts the factually unsound tale of some far fetched nuclear disaster striking the mid Wilshire district of Los Angeles where not more than ten minutes after the city has been evacuated, packs of coyotes have already found their way into fast food restaurants and are making quick work of the still warm meals left there. I can't believe the actors were even able to say their dialogue with a straight face. I'd give a lot to see the reel of outtakes on that one, must have been hysterical.

I don't know... Plan 9 From Outer Space, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Showgirls, Karate Kid IV: The Next Karate Kid, Highlander 2, Wild Wild West, Troll, Howard The Duck- you're looking at some stiff competition there.

I saw The Village in theaters. I'd rathere watch the non-MST3K version of Manos: Hands of Fate than see that again. Oh God. The memories are returning! Please kill me.

I thought the Thin Red Line was O.K. Not the best War movie, mind you, but good enough.

However, the worst movie ever was either Hellboy or The Passion of the Christ.

For the first one: The story sucked, the effects sucked, you could tell that the monster actors were wearing cheap costumes(in this day and age, use computers! LOTR did wonderful with them!), and did I mention how sucky the acting was?

Second one: 10 minutes about what Jesus did, then 1 hour 50 minutes of him being tortured to death. Seriously, Mel! At least make a movie about Jesus himself, not him being tortured!

I saw The Village in theaters. I'd rathere watch the non-MST3K version of Manos: Hands of Fate than see that again. Oh God. The memories are returning! Please kill me.

Manos: Hands of Fate was actually a much funnier movie without commentary from wisecracking robots. Nothing can beat a man with gigantic shins on a concrete slab being slapped around by a bunch of women in nightgowns, while some guy with an oversized moustache and tired gimmick tells them: "KILL! KILL! KILLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

What's everybody's worst movie experiences? Did you bail, or suffer the pain to get at least part of your money's worth?

The worst movie I've ever seen is called, "The Hangmen." It was probably one of Sandra Bullock's first movies (if not the very first - she was pretty young in this movie), and there was absolutely no plot, not to mention the acting was terrible. It was so horrible, it makes the movies they show on Mystery Science Theater look like Academy Award winners by comparison. I stuck with it only because turning it off would have been like trying not to gawk at a horrible accident scene. This movie was seriously awful, and I challenge anyone to come up with something worse.

The worst movie I've ever seen is called, "The Hangmen." It was probably one of Sandra Bullock's first movies (if not the very first - she was pretty young in this movie), and there was absolutely no plot, not to mention the acting was terrible. It was so horrible, it makes the movies they show on Mystery Science Theater look like Academy Award winners by comparison. I stuck with it only because turning it off would have been like trying not to gawk at a horrible accident scene. This movie was seriously awful, and I challenge anyone to come up with something worse.

Plan. 9. From. Outer. Space.

How did they portray a UFO explosion? By lighting the paper plate on fire. Never seen your movie, but if there is any way that it can match Plan 9, I'll eat my hat. Of course, I'll first have to buy a hat. And therein lies my problem- aside from the possibility of seeing Plan 9 again.

"Eyes wide shut" is probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Closer.

What a load of crap. Honestly. Script: sucked. Story line: sucked. Acting: sucked. It couldn't even be considered a story! In order for that to happen, there would have to be some sort of change in at least one of the characters. There would have to be some sort of lesson. It was all meaningless bullshit! GAR!!! What a waste of $3 and a chunk of my life. Jude Law and Julia Roberts couldn't even save this one. Of course, they both belong on soaps, so that's not much of a surprise.

What's everybody's worst movie experiences? Did you bail, or suffer the pain to get at least part of your money's worth?

A.I. was a terribly boring movie. But the worst I ever saw was Matrix Revolutions. I mean was Trinity's death seen supposed to be moving? Im usually got a soft spot when it comes to things like that but when I saw it, I just laughed because it soo pathetic. Worst £4 I ever spent.

Either Army of Darkness, or Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

However, the worst movie ever was either Hellboy or The Passion of the Christ.

For the first one: The story sucked, the effects sucked, you could tell that the monster actors were wearing cheap costumes(in this day and age, use computers! LOTR did wonderful with them!), and did I mention how sucky the acting was?
First order of business: The guy who played Hellboy was basically him in red paint, a huge gauntlet, and horns. He actually looked like that.

2nd & 3rd orders:
worst in theatre: Master of Disguise

Worst movie ever: Doctor Too-little. It was a little girl with a poodle and a tiger. It is the only movie my (very conservative, very southern) grandmother has ever encouraged us to destroy, and we only watched 10 minutes of it. It was a rental, too. Destroying a VHS tape is very fun. You get to use hammers and cut the tape into really short ribbons, really thin ribbons. Much more satisfying than just smashing a dvd, and safer, too! We buried it and put a stone on top of the grave. No plants grow in a foot wide radius from it.

Either Army of Darkness, or Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

You don't understand satire, do you? ;)

"Eyes wide shut" is probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Go watch Dungeons & Dragons...


(HOW could you not like EWS?!? It wasn't Kubrick's best, but still...)

Go watch Dungeons & Dragons...


(HOW could you not like EWS?!? It wasn't Kubrick's best, but still...)

that was a horrible film, My Father the Hero is easily the shittest film i have ever seen

You don't understand satire, do you? ;)

Army of Darkness was supposed to be a serious movie. But then it just got stupid. And yes, I do understand satire. I do like the movie Dogma and Men in Tights.

SHOP SMART! SHOP AT S-MART

and Killer Clowns from outer space is just.......bad

Army of Darkness was supposed to be a serious movie. But then it just got stupid. And yes, I do understand satire. I do like the movie Dogma and Men in Tights.

SHOP SMART! SHOP AT S-MART

and Killer Clowns from outer space is just.......bad

Army of Darkness was supposed to be serious? (looks at calendar) Hey! It's not April Fool's Day!! :p

(That wasn't a dig, btw... ;) = tongue in cheek)


I CAN'T SLEEP OR ELSE THE CLOWN WILL EAT ME!!

Episode I

That sucked big fat and hairy monkey balls.

It was all hype. That's it.

I could do better with bottle rockets, legos, and suran wrap. Actually, I have done better with bottle rockets, legos, and suran wrap.

I'd say I, Robot. There was just so much advertising. The way the main character has these very specific shoes that just happen to be from the year the movie was released. You don't think they were trying to promote something?

Hellboy wins it, hands down. The plot line just made no sense. It seemed like the writers just sat down around a table and started writing words related to the occult on a big blackboard. I can see it now...

"Hitler!"
"Thule!"
"umm...Rasputin! Let's put Rasputin in the movie!"
"A badly mangled version of some of HP Lovecraft's work and ideas! We can have Rasputin try to release the Elder Gods while taking part in a Nazi invasion of Scotland that never happened!"
"A big red guy!"

You get the idea. The movie seemed like one long series of unrelated crappy storylines.


Disclaimer: "I, Robot" may have actually been worse, but I unconditionally refuse to see it because its main premise is the cinematic equivalent of pissing on Isaac Asimov's grave. Nonetheless, I'm sure it was terrible.

Closer.

What a load of crap. Honestly. Script: sucked. Story line: sucked. Acting: sucked. It couldn't even be considered a story! In order for that to happen, there would have to be some sort of change in at least one of the characters. There would have to be some sort of lesson. It was all meaningless bullshit! GAR!!! What a waste of $3 and a chunk of my life. Jude Law and Julia Roberts couldn't even save this one. Of course, they both belong on soaps, so that's not much of a surprise.

What's everybody's worst movie experiences? Did you bail, or suffer the pain to get at least part of your money's worth?

I HATED this movie. Pretentious, uninspiring, and I genuinely wanted all the characters to get hit by a semi-trailer. They were deplorable to the point of it being absurd. This would easily be one of my worst movie experiences, although I stuck it out because I didn't feel the movie was worth my effort to leave. Also, the seats were comfortable.

Go watch Dungeons & Dragons...


(HOW could you not like EWS?!? It wasn't Kubrick's best, but still...)

Kubrick's films are usually good.
But that's the thing...It's only the name Kubrick. It's just one of those super-crappy light-blue "erotic" films (if the actors weren't uber-famous faces and the name Kubrick wasn't attached to this piece of awful shite, you'd probably imagine it was produced by a company with a name like "purple palmtree erotica"). I've seen Baywatch episodes with better plotlines.
Also, the semi-conscious wife pisses me off...She's braindead at all times, except when she smokes grass, then she gets seems to get a speech impediment too, so I can see why the husband is so tempted. The characters are all yuppie wankers out of touch with reality and walk around spouting "deep" and poetic statements about their wangs. It's just a dressed up porn movie (minus the really dirty stuff), and that can't be changed by just having some idiots dress up and speak Latin backwards. And Tom & Nicole are too much like Ken & Barbie to play those characters, hearing them making pathetic attempts at talking dirty made my skin crawl (the same way it would if a Barbie-dolls head would start spinning and talking dirty).
So what is the film about? A bunch of horny people walking around almost screwing someone...pfffff.
It really is too bad this film was his last.

Sure...Erotic films and sometimes even Romantic films can actually be quite good. But this crap doesn't come anywhere near it.
I think Kubrick was probably having a midlife crisis when he made it or eating alot of viagra when he unleashed that horrid piece of crap on the world.

Either Army of Darkness, or Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

I haven't seen the second, but Army of Darkness is the best B-movie ever. Seriously, how can you get any better than a chainsaw-wielding Bruce Campbell pulling out some Three Stooges tricks? Ya can't I tell ya, ya just can't!

As a side note, I haven't seen "They Live!", but no matter how bad it is, you do have to give it credit for being the inspiration for the single best fight scene in television/movie history: the Jimmy and Timmy cripple fight on South Park.

As for my vote, I will say I'm a bit tempted by The Greatest Snuff Film ever Shot. . .er, sorry, I mean The Passion of the Christ, but I may be a bit wrong about that, as I watched in the theater after having about 7 beers (we were going to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" at the end, but in our drunken condition, it was understandable that we forgot by the time the end finally arrived), so my memory of it is only so-so. I would officially go for a tie between Starship Troopers and Street Fighter. One is a tragic mutilation of one of the best books of the post-war period. The other has Kylie Minogue acting. It's a tossup which one of those factors makes a movie worse.

Definately D&D.

I'm not even a fan of the RPG in any form (not even the computer games) and I felt betrayed (for some reason, no idea why).


Titanic.

I actually saw this in the cinema. Not because I wanted to, but because my mum and sisters wanted to see it so I was dragged along. I had never waited so long to wait for a person to die until the Passion came out (which in all fairness, isn't as bad as some make it out to be).

Da Vinci Code:

Yeah I know it hasn't been made yet. But trust me, it'll probably suck worse then the book did.

Kubrick's films are usually good.
But that's the thing...It's only the name Kubrick. It's just one of those super-crappy light-blue "erotic" films (if the actors weren't uber-famous faces and the name Kubrick wasn't attached to this piece of awful shite, you'd probably imagine it was produced by a company with a name like "purple palmtree erotica"). I've seen Baywatch episodes with better plotlines.
Also, the semi-conscious wife pisses me off...She's braindead at all times, except when she smokes grass, then she gets seems to get a speech impediment too, so I can see why the husband is so tempted. The characters are all yuppie wankers out of touch with reality and walk around spouting "deep" and poetic statements about their wangs. It's just a dressed up porn movie (minus the really dirty stuff), and that can't be changed by just having some idiots dress up and speak Latin backwards. And Tom & Nicole are too much like Ken & Barbie to play those characters, hearing them making pathetic attempts at talking dirty made my skin crawl (the same way it would if a Barbie-dolls head would start spinning and talking dirty).
So what is the film about? A bunch of horny people walking around almost screwing someone...pfffff.
It really is too bad this film was his last.

Sure...Erotic films and sometimes even Romantic films can actually be quite good. But this crap doesn't come anywhere near it.
I think Kubrick was probably having a midlife crisis when he made it or eating alot of viagra when he unleashed that horrid piece of crap on the world.

Also remember the Kubrick died while making it, so it's not wholly his film...

I agree w/ the Cruise & Kidman idea, I could think of lots of people I'd rather have seen in those roles. :(

Get Carter....no not the original which was very good, but the remake with Sly Stalone...that was painful to watch...i mean pokey your eyes out with pokey wooden sticks ( ;) ) painful...

The absolute worst movie I've seen in my entire life... I'd have to say "Soul Plane". It was so f--king stupid, I turned off the DVD player not even half-way through!! :(

Also remember the Kubrick died while making it, so it's not wholly his film...

I agree w/ the Cruise & Kidman idea, I could think of lots of people I'd rather have seen in those roles. :(

Yeah, it's true, he died in somewhere halfway through, right? There must have been *something* he had planned to salvage it.

Maybe Tom & Nicole being cast was some kind of irony or something...

You think that was bad...I just sat and watched all of Alexander (yes, all of it), and all I can determine is that he was in fact a big cry baby pussy who was a bisexual. Oh and he basically did nothing and his generals did all the work.... :rolleyes:

The WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME, definetly HAS to be Death Race 2000! That movie sucked on all levels! Sure it was ment to be goofy and a 70's cult film, but it was the biggest waste of time in my life! I only watched it because I didn't have anything else to do. And I even regret that, because sitting there stairing at a wall for 2 hours would have been more intertaining.

i was disapointed with red october. but i thoguht it was ok

Closer.

What a load of crap. Honestly. Script: sucked. Story line: sucked. Acting: sucked. It couldn't even be considered a story! In order for that to happen, there would have to be some sort of change in at least one of the characters. There would have to be some sort of lesson. It was all meaningless bullshit! GAR!!! What a waste of $3 and a chunk of my life. Jude Law and Julia Roberts couldn't even save this one. Of course, they both belong on soaps, so that's not much of a surprise.

What's everybody's worst movie experiences? Did you bail, or suffer the pain to get at least part of your money's worth?

Four Weddings and a Funeral... my best friend recommended it and i am never trusting her taste in movies ever again... i watched it but i cannot explain how much i hated it... :headbang:

Plan. 9. From. Outer. Space.

How did they portray a UFO explosion? By lighting the paper plate on fire. Never seen your movie, but if there is any way that it can match Plan 9, I'll eat my hat. Of course, I'll first have to buy a hat. And therein lies my problem- aside from the possibility of seeing Plan 9 again.

Hmmmm...I'll have to watch that one and do a comparison. I think that's the second time someone has suggested that movie to me as a possible candidate for worst movie ever. In "The Hangmen," the entire movie seemed to be about a bunch of really nasty characters going around shooting and killing everyone in sight for no apparent reason. It was truly dreadful.

Hmmmm...I'll have to watch that one and do a comparison. I think that's the second time someone has suggested that movie to me as a possible candidate for worst movie ever. In "The Hangmen," the entire movie seemed to be about a bunch of really nasty characters going around shooting and killing everyone in sight for no apparent reason. It was truly dreadful.

I'll have to watch your film, too. But brace yourself- I suggest you watch all of the MSFT3000 you can before you watch Plan 9. You'll want to be prepared. You know how the Exorcist gave people strokes? The deaths this one cause required an insane degree of covering up.

The WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME, definetly HAS to be Death Race 2000! That movie sucked on all levels! Sure it was ment to be goofy and a 70's cult film, but it was the biggest waste of time in my life! I only watched it because I didn't have anything else to do. And I even regret that, because sitting there stairing at a wall for 2 hours would have been more intertaining.

DIE!

*runs over Uzb3kistan with a car*

"Woohoo! Anti Death Race 2000 person! 1,000,000 points!"

this is a tough one hmm...probably any vin deisil movie i cant stand him so lucky me it was a dvd my mom loves him so she gets movies and makes me watch them ...QUEEN OF THE DAMNED I HATED THAT MOVIE i like it cause of the actors and eye candy but it was NOTHING like the book and that pisses me off i prolly come back later with more but my brain is fried at the moment and now im mad :mad:

I have to say that I am now prejudiced against "robots with feelings" movies like Bicentennial Man and AI I mean, you think that the movies' over...until they go to the second generation. So you decide that this is ok. You can take another generation. But NOOO! THe movie goes on for five more generations until the robot decides he wants to be a human and dies. I swear. After each of these movies, a gun to the head was starting to sound like a rather pleasurable alternative. My advice: Don't see these movies! Ever! It's not worth it.