NationStates Jolt Archive


The Pope's Days Are Numbered

Evil Arch Conservative
01-04-2005, 10:02
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4399189.stm

Well, it would appear that the Pope is probably on his death bed. I don't know if it's the proper time to start eulogizing yet, but we're getting there.

This leads to interesting questions. For instance, will George W. Bush appoint Donald Rumsfeld as the American nominee for the next pope? Will he be able to convince the cardinals that he's the best choice? I'm holding my breath.

Edit: In all seriousness, I don't think the pope is going to live long. I have a feeling that he doesn't WANT to. There's a reason that he's staying in that papal apartment. He just wants to die a peaceful death, should he die. If he is taken to a clinic then they'll try to keep him alive as long as he can. In this senario he'll no longer be able to effectively function as pope, and I don't think he'd be able to stand that. He might just be hoping for a smooth transition from himself to the next pope (Donald Rumsfeld for sure).
Trammwerk
01-04-2005, 10:08
I'm holding my breath.Do you have a living will as regards what we're to do in the event that you fall into a coma due to a lack of oxygen?

Because if not, I'm pullin' the plug, baby!
GoalVa
01-04-2005, 10:08
When I woke up this morning, the 'Man from Auntie' told me he'd had his last rights read, which made me do a double take.

I think Condolezza Rice would make a fine pope. She'd hit all the right demographics as well, it's time to bring the Catholic Church into the 21st century, or something.
Red East
01-04-2005, 10:09
I'm just wondering, does the orthodox church still excommunicate every new pope?

(Just a random thought)
Evil Arch Conservative
01-04-2005, 10:25
Do you have a living will as regards what we're to do in the event that you fall into a coma due to a lack of oxygen?

Because if not, I'm pullin' the plug, baby!

Just make sure that my ugly mug gets plastered on the front page of every news paper on the planet. Get Congress involved, make it real messy. Stomp on state's rights a bit and overturn what ever the state judges have to say about my death.

And have Rumsfeld give me my last rights. I think it'd be a fitting end.

Edit: Oh, and drop a match into the gas tank of Ted Kennedy's car. Make it look like I did it. That'd be funny as hell.
Trammwerk
01-04-2005, 10:27
Well, while you're ordering me to fulfill your deathwishes, anything else on your list?

As regards the topic, it's unfortunate. At least he'll get a little dignity in his death.
Evil Arch Conservative
01-04-2005, 10:30
Well, while you're ordering me to fulfill your deathwishes, anything else on your list?

As regards the topic, it's unfortunate. At least he'll get a little dignity in his death.

I haven't started holding my breath yet. Go to and A&W and get my a couple bags of their onion rings, a delux double bacon cheeseburger, and a tall cup of root beer. That'd hit the spot.

Then wash my car. It's filthy after all the melting snow and the rain we've been getting.
Trammwerk
01-04-2005, 10:32
Well, I can't really do any of this until you're in a coma or in a PVS. So... get crackin'.

I'll check on you in the morning!
Legless Pirates
01-04-2005, 10:32
No shit? :rolleyes:
Evil Arch Conservative
01-04-2005, 10:32
Well, I can't really do any of this until you're in a coma or in a PVS. So... get crackin'.

You think you can liquify the fast food so they can feed it to me through an IV tube before I go?

I think I'll hit the sack. What better place to hold my breath then between two pillows?
Resistancia
01-04-2005, 10:33
the pope has to be catholic, so i think that would rule out rumsfeld. i would suggest an Aussie pope. change the popemobile for a holden crewman ute!
Trammwerk
01-04-2005, 10:34
Anything can be liquified and fed intravenously! Fast food, turkey dinners, reactionary bullshit; modern science makes all things possible!

Good night, sirs.
Evil Arch Conservative
01-04-2005, 10:38
the pope has to be catholic, so i think that would rule out rumsfeld. i would suggest an Aussie pope. change the popemobile for a holden crewman ute!

Oh man, he has a popemobile? I didn't know that! If it'd not a '70 DeVille I'm not impressed.
Tarlachia
01-04-2005, 10:40
I'm just gonna make one point. Bush ain't Catholic!

However, in regards to the Pope, I hope he passes on as painlessly as possible. I've seen too many people die otherwise.
Falastur
01-04-2005, 10:41
Oh man, he has a popemobile? I didn't know that! If it'd not a '70 DeVille I'm not impressed.

http://memimage.cardomain.net/member_images/7/web/523000-523999/523224_7_full.jpg