NationStates Jolt Archive

Inspired by this thread: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409186&page=1&pp=15

I'm curious to see how many people on NS have experienced Suicidal Depression. I capitalize it because I tend to think of it as its own category of the serious mental disorder Clinical Depression. How many times have you tried to kill yourself? Harm yourself?

Also, I'll add a poll option for anyone who doesn't think that depression is an illness in its own right.

With all respect to you all, I hope you'll answer the poll seriously, because this is a serious subject to me. If you truly feel that the last option or the 11 or more option applies to you, by all means use it, but I have to wonder if those who have already used those options were doing so in all sincerity.

If you're going to pick an extreme like that just 'cause you're joking around, please at least make a post that says so, so that we all know.

My body is a temple. I'd never intentionally harm it. The only exception is bruising my knuckles when I beat up a moron that deserves it.

As an aside, does 'tried to kill yourself' imply that you tried and failed? I believe Maddox had some choice and very true things to say about that.

Also, I'll add a poll option for anyone who doesn't think that depression is an illness in its own right.

I was under the impression that depression is caused by abnormally high or low levels of certain chemicals in the brain. It would seem that it would categorically be an illness since it causes detrimental effects to a person.

The closest I've ever come was slicing my right hand while doing the dishes, and that sure as hell wasn't intentional!

I'll never attempt suicide. Ever.

Not deliberately. :p

I'm happy with my life. I've got no reason to attempt a suicide.

Whoever chose the sicko response is the real sicko.

Not talking about things is the real crime. I mean seriously, what do you want to do, cover the whole suicide issue? Bag on the thread starter because a loved one couldn't get a grip on reality and offed themselves? What a loser. Accept the poll and answer it properly.

And shame on the thread starter for leaving that as an option.

I've tried to kill myself twice. I also routinely harm myself.

I consider myself truly unique in that I make a very clear-cut distinction between suicide and self-harm. To me, they're two completely different things motivated by completely different feelings.

When I wanted (that's right, I no longer feel this way) to kill myself, it's not because I was emotionally bruised or temporarily feeling down. I just wanted to die. Wanted out of life. I was either just sick of the whole thing or I objected to the very way the universe worked.

When I cut (and a few other forms of self-harm, but mostly cutting), it's because I need an outlet for an emotion that's buried deep inside. It can be anything from pain (the most common) to sensuality (S&M style) to emotions that evade description. It's almost like taking an uber hot shower. A hot shower just feels good, even if the water occasionally feels too hot on your skin.

I have chronic depression. I take prozac, which doubles as help with my OCD.
My depression stems from the fact that I'm a nihilist... though when I'm happy I just claim I'm an existential nihilist.

But really, if you kill yourself, I'm going to laugh at you. Just like you should laugh at me if I do it. Because really, we all die and are forgotten in a century, so quit being such a whiny little pussy and take it like a (wo)man.

I was diagnosed clinically depressed, following a serious car accident when I was younger. Although I had morbid thoughts, I never thought about suicide. I mean, I had just survived a car accident that perhaps I shouldn't have, and suicide just seemed... absurd, considering.

When I cut (and a few other forms of self-harm, but mostly cutting), it's because I need an outlet for an emotion that's buried deep inside. It can be anything from pain (the most common) to sensuality (S&M style) to emotions that evade description. It's almost like taking an uber hot shower. A hot shower just feels good, even if the water occasionally feels too hot on your skin.

Then take a hot shower and quit dulling the knife!
Or stab stuffed animals or dolls instead of yourself...

Then again, who am I to judge? Go wild. You're one in 6.2 billion people.

Whoever chose the sicko response is the real sicko.

Not talking about things is the real crime. I mean seriously, what do you want to do, cover the whole suicide issue? Bag on the thread starter because a loved one couldn't get a grip on reality and offed themselves? What a loser. Accept the poll and answer it properly.

And shame on the thread starter for leaving that as an option.
I'm guessing the people who chose the sicko option were joking. I was tempted myself to choose it.

Whoever chose the sicko response is the real sicko.

Not talking about things is the real crime. I mean seriously, what do you want to do, cover the whole suicide issue? Bag on the thread starter because a loved one couldn't get a grip on reality and offed themselves? What a loser. Accept the poll and answer it properly.

And shame on the thread starter for leaving that as an option.
Whether we like it or not, there are people who might think this way. We gain nothing by preventing them from representing themselves in the poll.
I was under the impression that depression is caused by abnormally high or low levels of certain chemicals in the brain. It would seem that it would categorically be an illness since it causes detrimental effects to a person.
That's what current research shows. However, despite the evidence, there are still people, and cultures, that refuse to acknowledge depression as a serious illness. Consider Britain, for example. In many parts of that country, commonly expressed attitude is that illness is physical, and any mental illness can be overcome if the afflicted wants to.

...wow, I'm the only "11 or more"...

damn, I feel pathetic. The theory being I guess that if a person makes THAT many attempts, how am I still here?

Meh.

I'm also a cutter, and was on meds for a while but I'm good at acting fine. I have a certificate of completion of an Intensive Outpatient program (they basically said I'm okay now with just once a week therapy) and I got off my meds and I'm still depressed as all hell.

http://p210.ezboard.com/bswcforum a great Self-mutiltion forum I go to, not very many people on it but they're very kind and understanding

I'm guessing the people who chose the sicko option were joking. I was tempted myself to choose it.

That's a dumb joke.

Someone puts themselves out in the open.
You want to give them shit, do a good job at it [like me], or, be compassionate and give your true answer [like me]...

But don't just "joke" by calling a person a sicko. There's no evidence in a poll choice that it's meant as a parody. You could just be some dumb little Christian being serious [without a clue in your head].

it's perfectly acceptable to talk about issues like this. Even important.
However, there is also a time and place for everything, and perhaps this isn't the best forum for this topic.
I'm not going to cast any judgements.

I've considered suicide in an abstract sense, never seriously. Even if I was serious about suicide, something my sister once casually said has stuck with me forever. She said "If you're going to commit suicide, why not instead just leave. Go to africa. Do good work. Donate the rest of your life to charity." It made sense to me. If my life is so valueless that I don't want it anymore, why not give it to someone else, I'm certainly no worse off than if I was dead, and can make others lives better. Suicide just seems so...selfish. I wonder how many suicide victims consider the feelings of the people they leave behind (or how many maliciously want to hurt the people left behind, or "show them they care" or something).

Not casting blame on clinically suicidal people, I know there are individuals that just have issues they can't deal with. And in certain cases I support euthenasia, such as for people in chronic pain. However, suicide is strongly affected by culture, and a good attitude really does wonders for depression, more so than drugs in many cases. I personally have no respect for people that commit suicide, without trying to deal with their problems, and seek help from their friends and family. If there is no solution for them, and they've tried, only then would I consider it to become an acceptable option.

Never tried, but if I did I'd be sure to get it right the first time.

...wow, I'm the only "11 or more"...

damn, I feel pathetic. The theory being I guess that if a person makes THAT many attempts, how am I still here?

You're even a failure at killing yourself! AHAHAHAHAHA. [/insensitively funny]

No, I kid. I'm sure you're an incredible person. Most mentally unstable people have some extremely positive quality, be it creativity or intelligence.
So chin up, masturbate more often, and think about how strong you are to have survived so many attempts. [/compassionate and sincere]

Also, keep in mind that while women attempt suicide more often (about 3 times more often than guys), they are less sucessful in the act itself (about half as succesful --- I think). That's because women are more in touch with their emotions, and because... well... women are more in touch with their emotions.

You're even a failure at killing yourself! AHAHAHAHAHA. [/insensitively funny]

No, I kid. I'm sure you're an incredible person. Most mentally unstable people have some extremely positive quality, be it creativity or intelligence.
So chin up, masturbate more often, and think about how strong you are to have survived so many attempts. [/compassionate and sincere]


hehe, I masterbate way too much as is, lol *wishes her boyfriend would hurry and move to her state*

I honestly don't htink I have that many positive qualities. But I won't gripe about it here. In any event, any positive I do have isn't in a place where I can do a lick of good, because I'm stuck here and my spirit is slowy dying. By the time I get out on my own I'll be dead inside, entirely, crushed. Im not strong- I just get in so much pain listening to people beg and cry and plead that I back out of an attempt or botch it.

That's what current research shows. However, despite the evidence, there are still people, and cultures, that refuse to acknowledge depression as a serious illness. Consider Britain, for example. In many parts of that country, commonly expressed attitude is that illness is physical, and any mental illness can be overcome if the afflicted wants to.

Thier reasoning astounds me. It conveniently forgets that chemicals in the brain are in fact 'physical' substances much the same way that the nutrients that Terri Schiavo (I like to include as much 'nuance' in my examples as possible. You can't get more dynamic then that, people.) lacked are.

hehe, I masterbate way too much as is, lol *wishes her boyfriend would hurry and move to her state*

I honestly don't htink I have that many positive qualities. But I won't gripe about it here. In any event, any positive I do have isn't in a place where I can do a lick of good, because I'm stuck here and my spirit is slowy dying. By the time I get out on my own I'll be dead inside, entirely, crushed. Im not strong- I just get in so much pain listening to people beg and cry and plead that I back out of an attempt or botch it.

If you're lacking in positive qualities how did you ever get a boyfriend? It could just be that you're your own worst critic and in fact you have more positive qualities then you are willing to recognize. Everyone (well, amost) has that problem to some degree and everyone (again, almost) has to constantly remind themselves of that.

The idea that there is something better that is waiting for you should be enough to counter any 'dying' that your spirit is going though. I question the existance of a spirit and would attempt to explain what you're feeling in scientific terms, but I don't think I'm qualified to do that and I don't think it'd do any good anyway. It seems to me that a 'spirit' can only die if it is trapped in a hopeless situation. You say yourself yourself that your boyfriend will soon be moving to your state. Don't you think you better find the reserves of strength you know you have somewhere and try to preserve some of that spirit?

And what is beg, cry, and plead supposed to mean? Sounds kinky.

hehe, I masterbate way too much as is, lol *wishes her boyfriend would hurry and move to her state*

I honestly don't htink I have that many positive qualities. But I won't gripe about it here. In any event, any positive I do have isn't in a place where I can do a lick of good, because I'm stuck here and my spirit is slowy dying. By the time I get out on my own I'll be dead inside, entirely, crushed. Im not strong- I just get in so much pain listening to people beg and cry and plead that I back out of an attempt or botch it.

You'll manage. If you need someone to talk to, IM me (sn: mwazzap).
I'm not much of a positive influence, nor am I dependable... but I'm there.

And seriously, if you can't stay alive for yourself, stay alive for your boyfriend.


When I was in my depression (I mean, when it was really bad), I masturbated about twice a day, everyday, and my only grip in reality was my best friend (now girlfriend). I felt as though I would never be better, and even when I did start to get better, I never thought I'd be the same again. But time has come and gone, and I find myself happier than I've ever been and enjoying all the little nuances in life (when I'm not depressed, because chronic depression is chronic), and slowly, building things back together again. Besides, it's a great conversation starter/ice breaker.

I admit to attempting suicide numerous times...except I dont have a gun and the other ways take too long so Im still here

Whether we like it or not, there are people who might think this way. We gain nothing by preventing them from representing themselves in the poll.

And I will knock them for the idiots and inconsiderate assholes they are.

I admit to attempting suicide numerous times...except I dont have a gun and the other ways take too long so Im still here

I like hanging, if you break your neck its great, otherwise it only takes 6 minutes and if you pass out, there ya go. Pills are second because it's hard to reverse it once you take em without going to a hosptial. Slitting wrists but that hurts.

But yeah, I'd say guns are best

You'll manage. If you need someone to talk to, IM me (sn: mwazzap).
I'm not much of a positive influence, nor am I dependable... but I'm there.



you don't appear to be online, AIM? I'm Petgirl10, and I'm bored as hell, so let's chat, you seem interesting

I like hanging, if you break your neck its great, otherwise it only takes 6 minutes and if you pass out, there ya go. Pills are second because it's hard to reverse it once you take em without going to a hosptial. Slitting wrists but that hurts.

But yeah, I'd say guns are best

Yeah actually hanging thats about my best bet right now....first just gotta learn to make a noose than its all good.

WHen a relationship fell apart once I loaded my winchester rifle, cocked it and put the muzzle under my chin with my finger on the trigger.

I decided against sooting myself.


Instead I took myself out to a very nice italian place where the proprietress (whom I know from going there) sensed i was unhappy and insisted I eat a special dish of wild boar ragout.

It was very good and I felt much better.

I think this best sums up my attitude towards suicide:

Life may not be exactly pleasant, but it is at least not dull. Heave yourself into Hell today, and you may miss, tomorrow or next day, another Scopes trial, or another War to End War, or perchance a rich and buxom widow with all her first husband's clothes. I advocate hanging on as long as possible.

H L Mencken

I like hanging, if you break your neck its great, otherwise it only takes 6 minutes and if you pass out, there ya go. Pills are second because it's hard to reverse it once you take em without going to a hosptial. Slitting wrists but that hurts.

But yeah, I'd say guns are best

Hey now, bad doggy. This isn't for discussing techniques.
This is for getting better.

You wanna off yourself, do it proper. Big, bloody, and fantastic so everyone notices you.

I wanted to suicide bomb the Republican Convention in New York (when I was depressed)... so try and go for something flashy like that if you're going to do it.

None of that lame slitting wrists or hanging crap will do.

And I will knock them for the idiots and inconsiderate assholes they are.
Then I guess it's a good thing I made the poll anonymous. They won't have to expose themselves to your rather extreme viewpoint if they don't want to.

Seriously, I think it's extreme attitudes and closed-minded culture that causes a lot of society's problems in the first place. Depression included.

There's also evidence that once we ceased being gatherers and hunters that we opened ourselves up for depression, too.

Yeah actually hanging thats about my best bet right now....first just gotta learn to make a noose than its all good.

I used a slipknot... it woulda worked, too, but the robe tie broke. Damn things!

Alright, alright, I'll behave, it's late, I'm tired

H L Mencken

<3 Mencken

Such a brilliant guy.

Then I guess it's a good thing I made the poll anonymous. They won't have to expose themselves to your rather extreme viewpoint if they don't want to.

Seriously, I think it's extreme attitudes and closed-minded culture that causes a lot of society's problems in the first place. Depression included.

There's also evidence that once we ceased being gatherers and hunters that we opened ourselves up for depression, too.

You mean opened ourselves to thinking? Ya. You're right.

Hey now, bad doggy. This isn't for discussing techniques.
This is for getting better.

You wanna off yourself, do it proper. Big, bloody, and fantastic so everyone notices you.

I wanted to suicide bomb the Republican Convention in New York (when I was depressed)... so try and go for something flashy like that if you're going to do it.

None of that lame slitting wrists or hanging crap will do.


Indeed, it ought to be a very high jump (exhilarating most likely) a gun (romantic) falling on a sword (romantic, old fashioned) or taking quite a few bastards down with you (glorious, exhilarating i'm sure).

<3 Mencken

Such a brilliant guy.


He's really fantastic.

You ought to look into nietzche if you like him, he studied nietzche when he was younger and it influenced his style and thinking.

Unless nietzche and he (and I :) ) were just *born* this way in which case we simply *echo* one another :)

I once nearly dove headfirst off my high school's 2nd floor catwalk. Then I got cold feet and backed away from the railing at the last minute. Does that count as "once or twice"?

It's okay to joke about this thread, but if you're going to be anything less than serious, please do it here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8581122

or in some other thread.

I'd like to keep this thread as serious as possible, because this is a serious subject to many of us.

*Bump* 'cause I want to see what people who are awake at a different time think of this subject.

Twice. The second time I came very close to succeeding. I took a huge overdose of pills.

i have never tried or thought about killing myself.
however, i have prepared MANY victims of intentional and un-intentional suicide. pill overdoses, LOTS of gunshot wounds, hanging (many times, thats unintentional) cutters gone too far, people that use a car in an accident, or the exhaust of the car.... the list goes on and on. the only time i have felt any emotion about my line of work, has been at these funerals. after meeting with a 17 year old boys parents ( he had took a bunch of vicodin, and tied a trash bag around hius head, then went to sleep.) i cried for a week. they were so lost and confused, and really couldnt figure out why a kid with a future would do such a thing. his 11 year old brother was so scared, seeing his parents like that. people need to get help as soon as they have these thoughts. suicide leaves a wide path of victims.

*snip* ...people need to get help as soon as they have these thoughts. suicide leaves a wide path of victims.
I agree that people with clinical depression need to get help. What do you think, though, of the self-harmers? And people who just want out, and don't actually have any mental illness?

I agree that people with clinical depression need to get help. What do you think, though, of the self-harmers? And people who just want out, and don't actually have any mental illness?
clarify what you mean by self harmers.do you mean what do i think of a person who intentionally kills themselves?

there is nothing, NOTHING, i despise more than those with suicidal tendencies who think to themselves "wouldn't it be fun to go out with a bang?"
Suicide by train, bus or cop not only leaves your family in mourning, but YOU HAVE JUST FORCED SOMEONE TO TAKE A LIFE. the last one scares me a little too. I'm going to be a cop. I don't want to be some selfish assholes tool, just because he doesn't have the guts to do it himself (i say he because i've never heard of a woman doing this) and besides which, to perform a suicide by cop, you really do tend to have to be shooting at a cop. or some random person. every time i hear about that, i jsut hope the bastard is taken alive, and serves a hefty prison sentence.
I've never attempted suicide. I don't see myself doing it.
If any of you ever do, well, i can't really say "don't" because that's jsut plain unhelpful. but try to remember those who love you, maybe call this number 1-800-784-2433. (national suicide hotline dealy)

there is nothing, NOTHING, i despise more than >>>>>>>>>>>>>>snip<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
If any of you ever do, well, i can't really say "don't" because that's jsut plain unhelpful. but try to remember those who love you, maybe call this number 1-800-784-2433. (national suicide hotline dealy)
well said, nicky.

well said, nicky.
i try. and i must say, i'm glad, in a sense, to hear that your job has affected you in such a way. while there is now doubt that it would desensitize anyone to death and most forms of violence, constantly dealing with corpses would also tend to wiegh heavily on someones soul. especially meeting the family of the person you were just elbow deep in (and not in the fun way)

i tried to off myself once and after all these years here's what I've learned.

There's actually two main types of depression
Clinical and Episodic

Clinical is the one they claim is a result of chemicals and
Episodic is the depression that results from a traumatic experience.

Apparently both can be cured by drugs and both should be suplemented with some form of therapy. Chems should not be taken for more than about 6 months for episodic depression. Clinical can be a life time of chems.

Now here's my opinion of both types.
Drugs should be a very last resort for either one. The first line of attack should be long term therapy. By long term I mean probably at least 3 yrs of serious therapy where you open up to the person about every aspect of your life. I've seen it happen too often where people who suffer from depression use chemicals as a crutch claiming they tried therapy and it didn't work. Whereas the truth was they were not being open and honest with their therapist.

After over 10 years of some hardcore therapy there isn't a drop of any kind of depression in my life and I have all the faith in the world that I can deal with anythng life has to throw my way.

snip
that's fantastic. kudos on having the strength of will to accept your problem and deal with it. i know many who severly lack that particular quality.

clarify what you mean by self harmers.do you mean what do i think of a person who intentionally kills themselves?
By self-harmers, I mean mainly cutters. People who don't intend to die, but want to damage their flesh.

Also, what do you think about people who are not mentally ill, but want to die?

that's fantastic. kudos on having the strength of will to accept your problem and deal with it. i know many who severly lack that particular quality.


ty.

To me its absolutely no big deal at all though.
And that's part of it.
This life is our own and all the bad things that other people may have done to me are not enough for me to either kill or harm myself or for me to get strung out on drugs cuz in the end, the ones that harmed me are not sitting around thinking about me. Other people's effect on us is not worth all the time and effort we put into it. We need to stand on our feet and make things happen in our own lives that will benefit us. When I was a child under my parents supervision I didn;t have much control over my life. Parents tell us what to do and when to do it, they have more control over us then we do when we are adults. Its in adulthood when we really have the opportunity to turn our lives in the direction we want.

And now for a little bluntness,
I have a hard time being sympathetic to adults who are down on themselves because of things their parents may have done. I say get over it, you're an adult now, and you can leave them and start the healing.

By self-harmers, I mean mainly cutters. People who don't intend to die, but want to damage their flesh.

Also, what do you think about people who are not mentally ill, but want to die?
well, its hard to judge who is mentally ill. however, if you want to die for no particular reason, and when you think about what that would do to the people around you, and you still DONT change your mind, i consider you to mentally ill. no sane person wants to put that much grief on people that they care about.

about the cutters. i have had one case where the girl went too far, slashed an artery, and bled to death because she was in the woods, drunk. i also know about a french guy who was so used to cutting and self mutilation, he thought he was invincible. he got caught up in a moment of self destruction, and jumped off a high bridge into 9 feet of water. he was on vacation in kanada with his friends, so i dont feel it was planned. things can get out of control. i think you need help, to figure out a better way of expressing what it is that you need to release.

agreed.

BUMP

[QUOTE=Occidio Multus]well, its hard to judge who is mentally ill. however, if you want to die for no particular reason, and when you think about what that would do to the people around you, and you still DONT change your mind, i consider you to mentally ill. no sane person wants to put that much grief on people that they care about.QUOTE]

my take on that is

anyone who thinks of terrible effect it would have on their loved ones and still goes through with it (apparently for no reason) is lying to themselves because if they do it anyway, they must not care very much about their "loved" ones and I'd suggest they ask themselves why they don't care about their loved ones.

These are very interesting views you've put forth. Thank you for the time and thought that went into them. I'd like to get a clearer picture, and argue a bit for the sake of argument, if I may.
well, its hard to judge who is mentally ill. however, if you want to die for no particular reason, and when you think about what that would do to the people around you, and you still DONT change your mind, i consider you to mentally ill. no sane person wants to put that much grief on people that they care about.
Your statement about wanting to die "for no particular reason" implies to me that there is a "good enough" reason to want to die. So, what constitutes a good enough reason to want to die that it would not make the person in question mentally ill?
about the cutters. i have had one case where the girl went too far, slashed an artery, and bled to death because she was in the woods, drunk.
This, to me, does not say that cutters need to get psychological help, but rather that they need to be taught how to get what they need out of cutting safely. Anatomy courses come to mind, and perhaps a peer system whereby cutters don't cut alone, so that, Goddess forbid there were an accident, they could get emergency help if they needed it.
i also know about a french guy who was so used to cutting and self mutilation, he thought he was invincible. he got caught up in a moment of self destruction, and jumped off a high bridge into 9 feet of water. he was on vacation in kanada with his friends, so i dont feel it was planned. things can get out of control. i think you need help, to figure out a better way of expressing what it is that you need to release.
Again, I think education is the answer here. Treating this behavior as an illness or deviatoin of the mind only makes these people less likely to seek help. Rather, why not identify people with self-harming characteristics and offer community education to help prevent them from taking unneccessary risks?

my take on that is

anyone who thinks of terrible effect it would have on their loved ones and still goes through with it (apparently for no reason) is lying to themselves because if they do it anyway, they must not care very much about their "loved" ones and I'd suggest they ask themselves why they don't care about their loved ones.
I think your statement that someone would attempt suicide for "apparently no reason" discounts the feelings of the suicidal. What if their reason for wanting to die is simply so great that it cannot be ignored, even in the light of the pain their death will cause?

I have considered it many times for various reasons and i have a friend that has attempted several times, and another that wants to die but claims suicide is the cowards way out

I have to say during certain times I have wanted to die or run away from the world somehow, and for a little while recently I was feeling good about myself and my life, but now i'm not so sure, i went through my entire school day wanting to cry today, and i went to bed wanting to cry last night, but i knew if i cried at school i would be questioned about what's wrong and i didn't want to have to talk to anyone because i was afraid of what they might say about the person it involves... anyways, enough rambling from me

When I cut (and a few other forms of self-harm, but mostly cutting), it's because I need an outlet for an emotion that's buried deep inside. It can be anything from pain (the most common) to sensuality (S&M style) to emotions that evade description. It's almost like taking an uber hot shower. A hot shower just feels good, even if the water occasionally feels too hot on your skin.


it seems to me like your attitude is that theirs nothing wrong with your behaviour, that there's something wrong with the way "society" looks at those who hurt themselves.

If that is the case, I don't know about that.

you say you do this as an emotional outlet
why do you choose this method as an outlet?

I think your statement that someone would attempt suicide for "apparently no reason" discounts the feelings of the suicidal. What if their reason for wanting to die is simply so great that it cannot be ignored, even in the light of the pain their death will cause?


if their reason for wanting to die is so great that it can not be ignored ....
then they are not doing it for "no reason"
They're doing it because they have a reason and their pain is so great they can not see beyond their own pain to that of other people's pain.

And that was pretty much my point
That no one kills themselves for no reason.

Can we stop wth the "no reason"?

There's always a REASON. Just, sometimes the reasons's all in your head/heart. Intense agony's a reason in and of itself, emotional or physical, percieved or real

all pain, really, is just percieved

You may not LIKE the reason, but theres always one

agreed

it seems to me like your attitude is that theirs nothing wrong with your behaviour, that there's something wrong with the way "society" looks at those who hurt themselves.

If that is the case, I don't know about that.

you say you do this as an emotional outlet
why do you choose this method as an outlet?
It has always been the outlet that felt the most natural to me. It's already within me. I've tried channeling the same feelings through other outlets, and it always results in secondary emotions, and a feeling that I'm somehow not worthy of what I truly feel. It was really just making my depression worse. I see self-mutilation as a part of me, now, and I've never felt more at peace with myself.

Edit: *snip*
Agreed, most whole-heartedly.

It has always been the outlet that felt the most natural to me. It's already within me. I've tried channeling the same feelings through other outlets, and it always results in secondary emotions, and a feeling that I'm somehow not worthy of what I truly feel. It was really just making my depression worse. I see self-mutilation as a part of me, now, and I've never felt more at peace with myself.

self mutilation is the only way you feel worthy of your own feelings?

AGE?

self mutilation is the only way you feel worthy of your own feelings?

AGE?
I'm twenty-one. I'll hit 22 in late October.

Edit: And I think we've had a miscommunication. I was referring to the desire to cut myself. When I tried to channel my feelings through another outlet, I felt as if my desire to cut was, in and of itself, somehow wrong. This drastically affected my self-esteem. Now that I accept the desire to cut for what it is - a desire - I feel much more at peace with myself.

self mutilation is the only way you feel worthy of your own feelings?

AGE?


Tell me something- have you ever SMd? It's... not like accidentally cutting yourself. It's different for everone. The pain can be inconsequential, the pain can be the focus, the blood could be a unfortunute by-product, the blood could be the source of fascination, the blood could be delicious. It's a ritual, and the endorphins/ritualism/whatever produce an altered state of conciousness, to some degree

Also, might I add, that self-mutilation is more than just cutting. Some people burn, some people get excess piercings/tatoos (or do it themselves)

*snip* ...Some people burn, some people get excess piercings/tatoos (or do it themselves)
Yeah, I have some pretty interesting scars from burning. You really have to be careful to treat burns carefully ^_^.

To me, the scars are part of what I see, too. They're like a record of my feelings that I can never lose. Kinda like a visual journal.

Yeah, I have some pretty interesting scars from burning. You really have to be careful to treat burns carefully ^_^.

To me, the scars are part of what I see, too. They're like a record of my feelings that I can never lose. Kinda like a visual journal.

I hate my scars. I think they're repulsive and ugly and honestly don't see how anyone could ever want to have sex with me after seeing them on my thighs

But that's just me. I hate myself in general, so there ya go

I'm twenty-one. I'll hit 22 in late October.

Edit: And I think we've had a miscommunication. I was referring to the desire to cut myself. When I tried to channel my feelings through another outlet, I felt as if my desire to cut was, in and of itself, somehow wrong. This drastically affected my self-esteem. Now that I accept the desire to cut for what it is - a desire - I feel much more at peace with myself.

Yep, sounds like a miscommunication.
So do you no longer cut yourself?

If you're suicidal and still alive, you're not trying hard enough. Depression is voluntary and you choose it yourself.

If you're suicidal and still alive, you're not trying hard enough. Depression is voluntary and you choose it yourself.

Being a fatuous ass is voluntary and you choose it yourself.

Yep, sounds like a miscommunication.
So do you no longer cut yourself?
No, I still cut. After all, that feeling still needs to be let out in the open. I try to strike a compromise with my family, though. Particularly my sister and mother. They don't seem to really accept self-mutilation as a healthy part of me. We've basically agreed that I'll still cut all I want, and they won't bother me about it as long as it's not anywhere visible. I cut mainly on my legs these days, 'cause I usually wear long pants anyway.

If you're suicidal and still alive, you're not trying hard enough. Depression is voluntary and you choose it yourself.


Gee, thanks. I'm gonna go find my bottle of asprin now. See you in hell.

EDIT: ooh, damn, looks like I lost my position as Most Attempts

If you're suicidal and still alive, you're not trying hard enough. Depression is voluntary and you choose it yourself.
Interesting perspective. I'm curious why you have it, and express it here. Do you have evidence that depression is voluntary?

I have never considered suicide. In thsi thread there are lot of people who are.
Are people being sincere, or is this thread just attracting them.

I don't want to give any pointers (bad joke) but if i were ever to try killing myself
I would jump under a train...

In Finland leading cause of death among young (15-24) is suicide. Sad, and
disturbing.

To be honest i was kind of terrifyid after reading this thread. This has
been a very good thread (it has opened my eyes).

Never attempted suicide, though I have thought about it, and know 3 friends who've attempted it

Tell me something- have you ever SMd? It's... not like accidentally cutting yourself. It's different for everone. The pain can be inconsequential, the pain can be the focus, the blood could be a unfortunute by-product, the blood could be the source of fascination, the blood could be delicious. It's a ritual, and the endorphins/ritualism/whatever produce an altered state of conciousness, to some degree

Also, might I add, that self-mutilation is more than just cutting. Some people burn, some people get excess piercings/tatoos (or do it themselves)

i've dabbled in S&M/lite bondage.
I agree its different for everyone.
There are different extremes of self mutilation
one can look at body mods as a form of self mutilation
but
the difference between a body mod and self mutilation is the intent

I have myself have plenty of cigarette burns and two bowl burns.
It may be closed minded of me and hopefully this won't be seen as me being judgemental but
self-mutilation to me should be taken as indication that something is not right.

i've dabbled in S&M/lite bondage.
I agree its different for everyone.
There are different extremes of self mutilation
one can look at body mods as a form of self mutilation
but
the difference between a body mod and self mutilation is the intent

I have myself have plenty of cigarette burns and two bowl burns.
It may be closed minded of me and hopefully this won't be seen as me being judgemental but
self-mutilation to me should be taken as indication that something is not right.

S&M is different, i was referring to Self Mutilation, sometimes abbreviated as SM. S&M is like, a sexual thing; Self Mutilation is decidedly not

And yeah, I agree. The fact that the urges exist indicate someting's wrong. But it's not always something fixable, and the point was that to deny the urges that you can't make vanish can drive someone mad

I have never considered suicide. In thsi thread there are lot of people who are.
Are people being sincere, or is this thread just attracting them.
I posted this thread in all seriousness, and all my posts have been completely sincere. It has been my hope that people who respond to this thread follow my example, and treat the subject with respect. There's a joke thread ( http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8581122 ) where I have no problem with people posting silly or sarcastsic comments about this subject, (and in fact, I encourage it! ^_^ Nothing wrong with humor), but I intended this thread to be taken seriously.

To be honest i was kind of terrifyid after reading this thread. This has been a very good thread (it has opened my eyes).
I am sorry if the things here terrified you. I'm glad, though, that you found worth in the thread, and thank you for the compliment. :D

S&M is different, i was referring to Self Mutilation, sometimes abbreviated as SM. S&M is like, a sexual thing; Self Mutilation is decidedly not

And yeah, I agree. The fact that the urges exist indicate someting's wrong. But it's not always something fixable, and the point was that to deny the urges that you can't make vanish can drive someone mad


lol (at myself) :p

IMO
Any problem is fixable.
Simply by saying that its not fixable you make it a permanent situation.
A self mutilator should get into therapy
I'm not sayin that while they are in therapy they should deny themselves of anything.
The hope is that as the therapy continues they get a better understanding of their own feelings and how best to express them constructively. If they are honest with themselves the urge to SM will become weaker and eventually go away.

*snip* ... And yeah, I agree. The fact that the urges exist indicate someting's wrong. But it's not always something fixable, and the point was that to deny the urges that you can't make vanish can drive someone mad
Thanks for helping to clarify my point. I have a question for you, and anyone who agrees with you on this, though.

Why does the fact that the urge to cause physical pain or harm to one's self indicate that there is something wrong?

Thanks for helping to clarify my point. I have a question for you, and anyone who agrees with you on this, though.

Why does the fact that the urge to cause physical pain or harm to one's self indicate that there is something wrong?

Um, that's kind of a given; Presumably, the standard is to have urges that help one survive. If one needs to self-harm to survive, one is in serious trouble, because one's surroundings are obviously rather dangerous and harmful and lethal in strange ways. IF it's not a survival instinct, then some instinct has gone astray

Um, that's kind of a given; Presumably, the standard is to have urges that help one survive. If one needs to self-harm to survive, one is in serious trouble, because one's surroundings are obviously rather dangerous and harmful and lethal in strange ways. IF it's not a survival instinct, then some instinct has gone astray
I would like to offer a counterexample to your argument.

Eating empty-calorie foods is not the most healthy thing to do. Especially to excess. Yet, do we send such people to therapists? Not unless they're overweight as a result of it. And we then send them only so long as they continue to suffer the ill-effects of being overweight. Once they are at a healthy weight again, they can continue to eat empty-calorie foods all they want.

I reject the notion that self-mutilation is axiomatically indicative of a mental disorder of any kind. Let's see some evidence.

IMO
Any problem is fixable.

Sorry, but I think that assumption is wrong.

Self Mutilation is often a symptome of the Bordeline Syndrome, and you seldomly get rid of it once it broke out. You can manage to live with it, suppress it with med's and go to therapy, but sometimes nothing will cure it in the classical sense.

Why does the fact that the urge to cause physical pain or harm to one's self indicate that there is something wrong?

That is more a sociological question then a psychological, if you ask me. Although I must say that all people I personally knew that were into Self Mutilation had severe problems, and stopped with it after solving them. But then again I only knew two people who did that, anyway, so my view on this is probably not representative.

Anyway, if you do it, and you have no "problem" at all, then it is more the society that doesn't understand you. Although I must ask, if you do it and you have no "problem", why do you do it then?

I hope that doesn't come across inflammatory or something, I'm really just curious.

Fran

BTW, I can't answer the poll, because there is no fitting answer for me in it. ;) Not even "Other, please specify."

Fran

Thanks for helping to clarify my point. I have a question for you, and anyone who agrees with you on this, though.

Why does the fact that the urge to cause physical pain or harm to one's self indicate that there is something wrong?


the urge to do something is not what's wrong.

The problem is the inability to not control oneself.

I hope that doesn't come across inflammatory or something, I'm really just curious.
Not at all, Fran. I always try to make myself clear, and remain open-minded.

if you do it and you have no "problem", why do you do it then?
I've tried to articulate this many times to my family and friends, mostly without success. I think this is because until recently, western society hadn't been very understanding of other lifestyles and practices, so we lack the vocabulary to describe it. What it kind of boils down to, for me, is that certain types of pain actually feel good. I crave them on some very deep level that I can't describe. It's like an intensity of feeling, rather than pain. I also enjoy blood, and the scars that remain after it heals.

Anyway, if you do it, and you have no "problem" at all, then it is more the society that doesn't understand you.
:fluffle: Thank you for the validation! It feels good to know that you see things this way.

Although I must say that all people I personally knew that were into Self Mutilation had severe problems, and stopped with it after solving them.
Self-mutilation causes something very intense to happen in your emotional mind. It can be very very relieving. I think this is the reason that it's so common among people who have such severe problems, and/or depression or other mental illnesses.

the urge to do something is not what's wrong.

The problem is the inability to not control oneself.
I agree with you that the inability to control one's self (is this what you meant?) is often a pretty serious problem. Especially when one gets an urge to do something that would infringe on someone else's rights (steal or rape, for instance). However, I fail to see how this applies to this situation, because I don't see how someone cutting themselves infringes on anyone else's rights.

But then it is at least a little like being into S/M, isn't it? I mean, I know that I sometimes like a little pain, too. But for me it is the "dirty" thrill of being the weaker part in bed. *blushes*

Is hurting yourself then like smoking for me? I know it's stupid, but it just feels so good...

Fran

I would like to offer a counterexample to your argument.

Eating empty-calorie foods is not the most healthy thing to do. Especially to excess. Yet, do we send such people to therapists? Not unless they're overweight as a result of it. And we then send them only so long as they continue to suffer the ill-effects of being overweight. Once they are at a healthy weight again, they can continue to eat empty-calorie foods all they want.

I reject the notion that self-mutilation is axiomatically indicative of a mental disorder of any kind. Let's see some evidence.

right,
them being overweight is a result of their urges going astray.


and as for when they are back to a healthy weight.
Noone says they can go back to eating empty calories. Its their choice if they want. Its just unhealthy to eat alot of empty calories, balloon up, loose weight and go through the cycle again.

As for evidence.
I don't know sometimes common sense tells me alot.
and here common sense tells me that someone who feels better cutting themselves or burning themselves is not very happy somewhere along the line.

But then it is at least a little like being into S/M, isn't it? I mean, I know that I sometimes like a little pain, too. But for me it is the "dirty" thrill of being the weaker part in bed. *blushes*
You're right to think that, for me, self-mutilation is similar to S&M. In fact, by some definitions, what I experience is S&M. I just hesitate to use that term to describe my desire to self-mutilate because of the connotations of the term. To me, self-mutilation is not necessarily sexual. In fact, it mostly isn't. I'm not cutting in bed.
Is hurting yourself then like smoking for me? I know it's stupid, but it just feels so good...

Fran
I suppose that's a valid comparison. I don't mean to be judgmental, but to me, the significant difference is that smoking has the potential to harm others against their will (second-hand smoke).

But you actually don't think that the urge to harm yourself comes from a feeling of not being loved or not having deserved better? That is what is often suggested.

I also sometimes ask this myself, because of my... umh... personal flavours. And maybe because I had a big depression that had to be treated, too. I'm so glad that lies behind me.

In the end I feel much better know that I can be myself and have actually something like self-respect/esteem. But the flavours, to stay with the word, are still there.

Fran

But you actually don't think that the urge to harm yourself comes from a feeling of not being loved or not having deserved better? That is what is often suggested.

I also sometimes ask this myself, because of my... umh... personal flavours. And maybe because I had a big depression that had to be treated, too. I'm so glad that lies behind me.

In the end I feel much better know that I can be myself and have actually something like self-respect/esteem. But the flavours, to stay with the word, are still there.

Fran
*nods* I think there's an important distinction that a lot of people are missing here.

One scenario involves someone feeling bad about something (such as not being loved, as you mentioned, Fran). They use self-mutilation to feel better. Granted, this is simplistic, but in the interest of making the distinction, that's as far as I'll go.

The other involves someone who is just fine already who uses self-mutliation to just plain feel good. No need to feel better about anything. The pain or harm is, in and of itself, the goal.

I admit that, at first, my situation fit the first scenario. And maybe that's how I "learned" to enjoy pain, if you will. But now, I have nothing really to feel bad about in the first place, yet I still want to cut. It feels good; feels soothing.

These are very interesting views you've put forth. Thank you for the time and thought that went into them. I'd like to get a clearer picture, and argue a bit for the sake of argument, if I may.

Your statement about wanting to die "for no particular reason" implies to me that there is a "good enough" reason to want to die. So, what constitutes a good enough reason to want to die that it would not make the person in question mentally ill?
terminal illness that may cause a lot of pain, disfigurement that makes a tolerable quality of life impossible, all of your kids getting killed, being elderly and having your spouse die... i could go on.

This, to me, does not say that cutters need to get psychological help, but rather that they need to be taught how to get what they need out of cutting safely. Anatomy courses come to mind, and perhaps a peer system whereby cutters don't cut alone, so that, Goddess forbid there were an accident, they could get emergency help if they needed it.
this may be true in some aspects, but i will say, the release of thos eparticular endorphins to often can, and has led to states of euphoria so extreme that people end up like the young man in my prior example , jumping off the bridge.

Again, I think education is the answer here. Treating this behavior as an illness or deviatoin of the mind only makes these people less likely to seek help. Rather, why not identify people with self-harming characteristics and offer community education to help prevent them from taking unneccessary risks? again, well said, but over time, most people will get bored with the same injuries, and try "bigger and better" ways of release.

I find it horridly ironic that I see this poll after admitting to myself and my parents that I was depressed (although until I see a psychiatrist, I can't claim I'm clinically depressed).

What it kind of boils down to, for me, is that certain types of pain actually feel good. I crave them on some very deep level that I can't describe. It's like an intensity of feeling, rather than pain. I also enjoy blood, and the scars that remain after it heals.


<<<<<<<snip>>>>>>>>


Self-mutilation causes something very intense to happen in your emotional mind. It can be very very relieving. I think this is the reason that it's so common among people who have such severe problems, and/or depression or other mental illnesses.
the ver -y same reason why i am tattooed extensively.

Hell no I wouldnt kill myself. I can hardly handle a papercut.


OK seriously. No I wouldnt. I had a friend commit suicide in front of me- so I'm kind of against it.

No.
The idea of cutting makes me shudder and I have looked at a big pot of pills and wondered but never ever would do it.
And there's difference between cutting to kill and cutting to hurt, I have a friend who does one and a friend who does the other...and their reactions to it afterwards are at oposite ends of the spectrum.
I once had a long argument with a friend who saw suicide as cheating ie. winning the game of life. I still think it's wrong on not just yourself but your family/friends.

OK seriously. No I wouldnt. I had a friend commit suicide in front of me- so I'm kind of against it.
Yikes. Aren't you like... traumatised? I know I would be.

I may be depressed, but I immediately throw out the idea of suicide. To me, I view it as the coward's way out of life - every day that I remain here is like giving Fate the finger. I like that.

Once, many years ago when I was a completely different person. Rejection by a gal mixed with long term depression. I thought about doing it with a shotgun, sat holding the gun, quickly decided it was an assinine idea, put the gun away a went and listened to Soundgarden (wow, that didn't cheer me up, "I shot my love today, would you cry for me. . . )

Inspired by this thread: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409186&page=1&pp=15

I'm curious to see how many people on NS have experienced Suicidal Depression. I capitalize it because I tend to think of it as its own category of the serious mental disorder Clinical Depression. How many times have you tried to kill yourself? Harm yourself?

Also, I'll add a poll option for anyone who doesn't think that depression is an illness in its own right.

With all respect to you all, I hope you'll answer the poll seriously, because this is a serious subject to me. If you truly feel that the last option or the 11 or more option applies to you, by all means use it, but I have to wonder if those who have already used those options were doing so in all sincerity.

If you're going to pick an extreme like that just 'cause you're joking around, please at least make a post that says so, so that we all know.
i've never tried to kill myself, but i had a friend who thought i was because i used to cut my forearm with my penknife. i actually wasn't doing it because of depression or anything...i was just curious about how i perceived pain. i only did it a couple of times, then i had my answers and i stopped. i made the mistake of being honest about where the cuts came from, and my pal reacted very strongly.

Yikes. Aren't you like... traumatised? I know I would be.

I may be depressed, but I immediately throw out the idea of suicide. To me, I view it as the coward's way out of life - every day that I remain here is like giving Fate the finger. I like that.

Traumatised? I've seen some things that they wouldnt even put in a horror movie. I guess it takes a lot to shock me.

terminal illness that may cause a lot of pain, disfigurement that makes a tolerable quality of life impossible, all of your kids getting killed, being elderly and having your spouse die... i could go on.
How about someone who simply never had a spouse, and doesn't consider themselves to have any close friends? They feel that they've accomplished with life what they want to, and are simply ready for whatever comes after life. ...er, so to speak. ^_^

this may be true in some aspects, but i will say, the release of thos eparticular endorphins to often can, and has led to states of euphoria so extreme that people end up like the young man in my prior example , jumping off the bridge.
I might draw a comparison to sex, here. Sex releases endorphins in the brain, too. There are sex-addicts out there. And forgive me for not being able to think of a way to take sex to an extreme, but if it's as you say, and such an endorphin release would cause someone to seek more intense experiences, why don't we see more people pursuing more intense sexual situations?

again, well said, but over time, most people will get bored with the same injuries, and try "bigger and better" ways of release.
I think you may be right to some degree here, but only for a very few individuals. Consider someone who enjoys driving. Not for any particular reason other than to just be out on the road in a car. If they get bored of that, does that necessarily mean that they're going to get into illegal street-racing? Maybe for one or two in a thousand. Or a million.

Inspired by this thread: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409186&page=1&pp=15

I'm curious to see how many people on NS have experienced Suicidal Depression. I capitalize it because I tend to think of it as its own category of the serious mental disorder Clinical Depression. How many times have you tried to kill yourself? Harm yourself?

Also, I'll add a poll option for anyone who doesn't think that depression is an illness in its own right.

With all respect to you all, I hope you'll answer the poll seriously, because this is a serious subject to me. If you truly feel that the last option or the 11 or more option applies to you, by all means use it, but I have to wonder if those who have already used those options were doing so in all sincerity.

If you're going to pick an extreme like that just 'cause you're joking around, please at least make a post that says so, so that we all know.
i tried to slit my wrists once, but the knife was blunt as hell as it turned out, so i literally couldn't cut myself. i don't think that really counts cos its so lame :headbang:

PM, if you're gonna slice yourself, use glass. I did that yesterday, though it wasn't intentional... I had to get it stitched! It hurt like a bastard for about two hours.

PM, if you're gonna slice yourself, use glass. I did that yesterday, though it wasn't intentional... I had to get it stitched! It hurt like a bastard for about two hours.
lol yeah good point... hows the typing today? :p

I admit that, at first, my situation fit the first scenario. And maybe that's how I "learned" to enjoy pain, if you will. But now, I have nothing really to feel bad about in the first place, yet I still want to cut. It feels good; feels soothing.

I can see similarities to my situation.

I might draw a comparison to sex, here. Sex releases endorphins in the brain, too. There are sex-addicts out there. And forgive me for not being able to think of a way to take sex to an extreme, but if it's as you say, and such an endorphin release would cause someone to seek more intense experiences, why don't we see more people pursuing more intense sexual situations?

Actually, I know quite a few people like that, and no, I'm not one of them. But I can say that I am somewhat addicted to video games and driving a car for the endorphine rush.

I think you just don't see more people like that because they fear the attachment of social stigmata, like the ones, for example, gay people get.

Fran

i tried to slit my wrists once, but the knife was blunt as hell as it turned out, so i literally couldn't cut myself. i don't think that really counts cos its so lame :headbang:
Be careful with blunt knives! Once (quite recently), I was just poking myself with the tip of one. (I just liked the feel of its tip against my skin). I thought it was too dull to do any damage. But then I pushed it a little too hard, and it *popped* right through my skin! Went nearly an inch deep. I'm lucky I didn't need stitches!

Be careful with blunt knives! Once (quite recently), I was just poking myself with the tip of one. (I just liked the feel of its tip against my skin). I thought it was too dull to do any damage. But then I pushed it a little too hard, and it *popped* right through my skin! Went nearly an inch deep. I'm lucky I didn't need stitches!
:eek: damnit other people can cut themselves with blunt knives...why not me!? :mad:

How about someone who simply never had a spouse, and doesn't consider themselves to have any close friends? They feel that they've accomplished with life what they want to, and are simply ready for whatever comes after life. ...er, so to speak. ^_^
then fine die. just dont shoot yourself- its a mess for the embalmer.


I might draw a comparison to sex, here. Sex releases endorphins in the brain, too. There are sex-addicts out there. And forgive me for not being able to think of a way to take sex to an extreme, but if it's as you say, and such an endorphin release would cause someone to seek more intense experiences, why don't we see more people pursuing more intense sexual situations? well, we arent talking about sex. we are talking about cutting. but there are many many ways to take sex to extremes, and if you watch *ahem * certain movies, or view certain sites, you can see many of them. note this- i have prepared two boys for funeral who dies from auto erotic asphyxiation.


I think you may be right to some degree here, but only for a very few individuals. Consider someone who enjoys driving. Not for any particular reason other than to just be out on the road in a car. If they get bored of that, does that necessarily mean that they're going to get into illegal street-racing? Maybe for one or two in a thousand. Or a million. well. we are discussing an activity that draws blood, and has a great potential for harm. not playing solitaire. there are many more people who become passionate when defending self mutilation as an acceptable pastime than there are who defend boardgames. i believe that is because something deeper is triggered, and the chemicals released are addicting.

lol yeah good point... hows the typing today? :p

It's actually better! I guess it's good to practice with my left hand every now and then.

i tried to slit my wrists once, but the knife was blunt as hell as it turned out, so i literally couldn't cut myself. i don't think that really counts cos its so lame :headbang:
slitting wrists does NOT kill you. it hardly bleeds. it should be a cut from the inner elbow down to the wrist, then across.

:eek: damnit other people can cut themselves with blunt knives...why not me!? :mad:
If you're going to cut, use a sharp, clean knife, know where you're cutting (i.e. make sure there are no major arteries or veins in your way, etc.) and for Goddess' sake, don't do it completely alone if you can help it! If you screw up and hit an artery anyway (you were avoiding arteries, right?) you could die before you even get near a fone.

PM, if you're gonna slice yourself, use glass. I did that yesterday, though it wasn't intentional... I had to get it stitched! It hurt like a bastard for about two hours.
Don't use glass ^_^. For the very reasons the experience was so unpleasant for you, Potaria. Glass can fragment and become embedded in your skin, where it can cause further (unintentional) injury and infection.

tried to cut my wrists before I got up to get ready for church. wanted my parents and their guests who were staying at the house to find my dead in a pool of blood

Yeah, glass sucks. I'm lucky that shards didn't get lodged in my cuts!

Never tried!
But really this should have been an Open Poll!

slitting wrists does NOT kill you. it hardly bleeds. it should be a cut from the inner elbow down to the wrist, then across.
So wouldnt that be the Wrist! :confused:

Never tried!
But really this should have been an Open Poll!
You mean the kind where the people who voted show up on the poll under the option they selected? I didn't think that was a good idea, because I wanted people to be completely honest. And this is a sensitive subject for some.

If you're going to cut, use a sharp, clean knife, know where you're cutting (i.e. make sure there are no major arteries or veins in your way, etc.) and for Goddess' sake, don't do it completely alone if you can help it! If you screw up and hit an artery anyway (you were avoiding arteries, right?) you could die before you even get near a fone.

:confused: i was aiming for an artery :confused:

slitting wrists does NOT kill you. it hardly bleeds. it should be a cut from the inner elbow down to the wrist, then across.
hmmm good advice
damn tv...

So wouldnt that be the Wrist! :confused:
its the entire inner forearm. not this tiny scratch across your watchband. it hurts, and takes a lot of courage. this is why you know most slit wrist suicides are a cry for help. because if you want to die, truly- you will.

:confused: i was aiming for an artery :confused:
My advice applies to those who want to cut, but not die.

My advice applies to those who want to cut, but not die.
ok, sorry. just you quoted me and i am tired (its 1am-ish here :) )

About 6 years ago, I went through a deep depression, which lasted 2-3 years. I'd broken up with my girlfriend of 5 years, lost my job & couldn't seem to get another, car was stolen, etc. During this time I certainly thought about suicide & how easy it would be (particularly one day walking home from the dole office along a busy road), but I never actually tried. I don't think I ever got to the point where I ever truly wanted to die. I also kept thinking about how much it would hurt my mum and my brother & sisters.

Now I'm very glad I never got to that point, because I really enjoy life again.

I'm the kind of person who's always a bit down. My personality, I suppose, and a bit of the situation I'm in. But at the same time, I'd never kill myself--even thought I've thought of it. At first, I thought I wouldn't because I've been Catholic for most of my life, and was thus taught it was a moral sin. I've sense left the church, and have found my own way. I no longer believe it to be a sin, because if a person honestly wishes to die they shouldn't be punished for it. On one of my worse days, however, I sat down and made a list of everything I wanted to do in my life. This helped me realize that I might just have a reason that I'm here--and that I didn't want to leave. So here I am.

I also kept thinking about how much it would hurt my mum and my brother & sisters.
thats the problem, isn't it? and that's why family is so great.

i think about suicide a fair bit. right now i'm ok, but often at uni i can go whole days just sitting there brooding over how great it would be, and how much easier it would be to end it all. walking along busy roads i think about throwing myself infront of cars & busses sometimes, and sometimes i really want to do it too. thats usually when i call my parents to keep me grounded in the here & now. when i'm driving i sometimes think of crashing on purpose, just putting my foot down, go as fast as possible into something nice and solid... turning the music up really loud and just stopping thinking about anything helps in that situation.
i've considered suicide almost consistantly for years now but i've come to live with it. its just part of me - i don't like it, but its how i am. that one time with the blunt knife was the one time i was able to let go of my parents and the pain it would cause them, reached for the knife and just tried to do it - in a way it wasn't pre-meditated, in others, it was.

The closest I've ever come was slicing my right hand while doing the dishes, and that sure as hell wasn't intentional!

I'll never attempt suicide. Ever.

Amen to that!!!

(Althoug lately, I'm very depressed and stressed out - but I'm already working on that... Reading the other posts I can see myself in many of them. My family is great though and I really love living, hence, there is no other option but to live. I mean, we're all born to die, but I think it's not up to me to decide when, at least not when I have a say in it!)

Cut my hands twice, unintentionally, while doing the dishes. The very nice female surgeon could even identify the cause with her 1st question: Ikea glasses!!!

Living in a so-called "student" city, that apparently happens more often than you'd think :(

I'm one of the few '11 or more. (I want outta here!!!)' people.

Between the age of 16 and now (I'm 20), I've attempted it quite a few times, mostly with overdoses, occasionally with other things.

I one hung myself over a bridge but got hauled back over by member of the public who held me down until an ambulance turned up.

I got messed around alot when I was younger, got messed around by gf's, messed around at work, flatmate stole money & threatened me & bullied at school. I hated my life, & I wanted it over.

Now, got my own place, better job, & have not attempted anything in a good 6 months. I'm quite proud of myself.

Man, I had a whole cabinet full of Ikea glasses, and they all shattered in my dish washer (when it was still working). Just one after another.

This, however, was a rather large, sturdy Mason Jar. The velocity from the slip and push from my quick gripping completely destroyed the whole thing, and it almost destroyed my hand!

Man, I had a whole cabinet full of Ikea glasses, and they all shattered in my dish washer (when it was still working). Just one after another.

This, however, was a rather large, sturdy Mason Jar. The velocity from the slip and push from my quick gripping completely destroyed the whole thing, and it almost destroyed my hand!
:eek: nasty!
i've never had a problem with Ikea glasses.... guess i've been lucky :p

I'm quite proud of myself.

And you should be!!! Glad to have you with us :)


As for Ikea, I guess we now know why their stuff is so price-efficient: it's cheap.

My left ringfinger is still screwed up from another occasion though (and the fingerprint it leaves looks weird - not that anyone has ever officially taken it):

I had this wonderful blue glass wine bottle sitting on the shelf in my kitchen - with my 5'8 I could barely reach it - but I got it to come down somehow...

I managed to catch it while it was exploding on the kitchen sink - I almost felt like Tim Taylor that month (but I was afraid to bring my own mug to the ER in case they would make me clean it... waaay too dangerous :D )

I was wearing my PJs as I was planning a nice evening in front of the TV alone for I broke up with my girlfriend that day and evidently wasn't really focused on what I was doing... I had blood all over the place, the jeans I managed to put on looked accordingly and the shirt I was wearing reeked of alcohol - I must have been quite a sight for the nurses...

:eek: nasty!
i've never had a problem with Ikea glasses.... guess i've been lucky :p

You must've come across some abnormally good-quality glasses, then.

I'm one of the few '11 or more. (I want outta here!!!)' people.

Between the age of 16 and now (I'm 20), I've attempted it quite a few times, mostly with overdoses, occasionally with other things.

I one hung myself over a bridge but got hauled back over by member of the public who held me down until an ambulance turned up.

I got messed around alot when I was younger, got messed around by gf's, messed around at work, flatmate stole money & threatened me & bullied at school. I hated my life, & I wanted it over.

Now, got my own place, better job, & have not attempted anything in a good 6 months. I'm quite proud of myself.

Damn, so you're one of those who displaced me as most attempts. Hang on while I make a few more [/sick humor]

I've been making almost daily attempts lately, since I got out of Intensive Outpatient, but I've only been making attempts period since august. However, I'm young yet, only 16, give it 4 years and I'll likely be in your shoes.

And you should be!!! Glad to have you with us :)
Cheers. :D

Damn, so you're one of those who displaced me as most attempts. Hang on while I make a few more [/sick humor]

I've been making almost daily attempts lately, since I got out of Intensive Outpatient, but I've only been making attempts period since august. However, I'm young yet, only 16, give it 4 years and I'll likely be in your shoes.
Christ, you remind me of myself.

If you need someone to talk to, talk to me. I know how it feels, I'm always happy to talk to people unless I'm ready for bed or ready for work. Got MSN?

Christ, you remind me of myself.

If you need someone to talk to, talk to me. I know how it feels, I'm always happy to talk to people unless I'm ready for bed or ready for work. Got MSN?

Yeah, lemmie see if I can find it, I'm queen_of_blades02@hotmail.com *hunts for the app, this comps been busted for months and was recently fixed*

Yeah, lemmie see if I can find it, I'm queen_of_blades02@hotmail.com *hunts for the app, this comps been busted for months and was recently fixed*
Added, I should come up as Matt (ssmmdd).

Suicidal Failure

Father forgive me for I know not what I do
I tried everything, but I'll leave it up to you
I don't want to live, I don't know why
I don't have no reasons, I just want to die

I'm a suicidal failure, I've got to get some help
I have suicidal tendencies, but I can't kill myself

I'm tired of this way of life, my patience has expired
I'm barely just 19, but my life I will retire
I went down to a rifle store, I bought myself a gun
I pointed it at my head, but I couldn't get the job done

I took all my mothers sleeping pills
I jumped off a freeway bridge
I drank three kinds of poison
And drove my car off a ridge
I beat myself with a bat
Put a noose around my head
I overdosed on heroin
But I'm still not dead

Death may not be the answer, it can't be all that great
But me I'm not into living, with life I can't relate
By some masochistic reasoning, I think that it will be fun
I want to start my second life now
So shoot me with your gun

SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!

Since about 7th grade (I'm 22 now), I had contemplated suicide. I never sought out professional help. The only thing that kept me from doing it was the fact that I wanted to see the next day... my life never got bad enough to where I didn't want to see the next day, until one day last summer.

I'll spare you the WHY, I'll just state the WHAT.

In the middle of last June, I tried to overdose on Tylenol and sleeping pills (15 and 30 pills, respectively), but woke up the next morning. I was upset I was unsuccessful, so I drove out to a bridge near me ( http://www.roadstothefuture.com/Eau_Gallie_Causeway.jpg ) walked up to the highest point, and jumped off.

Needless to say, I was unsuccessful AGAIN, and was "Baker Acted" to a mental health facility for 3 days after 3 days in the hospital. I finally got the professional help I needed. I'm on meds for the first time in my life, and talk things over with a psychologist on a regular basis. I've got a second chance at life, and I'm taking advantage of that chance.

If you're interested in the details of my attempt, you can read about it here:
http://riceornot.ricecop.com/comments.php?auto=33698 (I'm DiRF) comments #4-7.

Come to think of it... I'm afraid that should it ever come that far (which, honestly, I really doubt), I'm more likely to be one of those poor sobs to wreak havoc... :rolleyes:

Nah... oughta be allright :D

Besides, sticks and stones won't get you far - in Germany it's not as easy to get your hands on :sniper: or :mp5: which I always considered very good indeed.

I might be able to get along with those dark & sinister emotions that ever once in a while dwell and reside in me.

I'd probably be the unlucky one to be shot by some other maniac just when I got to enjoy living again...

NASCAR Stock Car Racin, it's good to read about things that others like you have experienced - as painful as it may be - it helps to ground me and to finalize the decision that I don't wanna go! Thanks :)

Considered it, several times. Fortunately, the depression never lasts long enough for it to be more than a vague idea.

Frankly, though I've never been to a doctor, I suspect I'm mildly bipolar and subject to strong, otherwise irrational moodswings on occasion.

I checked the one that said you're a sicko. Not because you are a sicko, but because I think the question is a little inappropriate. I have considered it, but my depression is usually very short lived.

its the entire inner forearm. not this tiny scratch across your watchband. it hurts, and takes a lot of courage. this is why you know most slit wrist suicides are a cry for help. because if you want to die, truly- you will.
Yeah id rather keep the engine running while filling up with petrol!

voted sicko for pissoff potential.

The first attempt was not completely voluntary, but it was still classified as a suicide attempt. When I was in 14, I became rather ill and was unable to eat properly for nearly 3 weeks. After the first week, I stopped eating until I couldn't stay conscious. I was so sick I didn't feel like wasting the energy on getting food. I ended up dehydrated enough to be hospitalized overnight.

The second time was a few years later, after some serious bullshit and bitchslapping from my mother. I took a pair of sewing scissors to my wrist. After a while, I passed out -- my dad found me on my bedroom floor, bandaged me up, and cleared out my room.

Aside from a few minor ODs in between, that's all.

I've been kind of stable for the past 2-3 years.

Good to hear - I'm a little bit better for now... Must be the sunshine ;)

Really it's 2 1/2 times for me. Two serious attempts amd one half-ass attempt when I was a teenager. One of those "See, you'll be sorry when I'm gone" things.

Hmm, What to say... I've never attempted, but came close several times, loaded gun in my hand, sharp knife at my throat (know too many wrist cutters that just ended up with scars and bad tendons), and high speed crashes were my usual plans. I never went through with it because I didn't want to let the world get the best of me. :headbang: Living through defiance, I guess. This all started when I was about 13 or so. My wife finally convinced me to get help 2 years ago, when I was 34. Taking medication has helped, but I would be lying if I said I never thought of it anymore.

And now, the rest of the story... My younger brother hung himself last year, on my son's birthday, of all days. He left behind a woman and 18 month old child that loved him, no note, no nothin. Just told Heather that he wasn't ready to go to bed yet and was going to take a walk. He was found the next day hanging from a tree in the back yard. The branch was low enough that his feet were on the ground, he just wanted to die so badly that he wouldn't stand.

So, I can see this issue from both sides, at least to a bit. IMO, anyone who attemps suicide, or even just cuts, needs some help. I know some of you cutters say you're only hurting yourself, and you need the pain and/or scars. Well, I work in a prison and have see the long term results. Even ignoring the scars, which will become disfiguring at some point, there is escalation over time. I had one guy who had to have 374 staples put in him from one cutting session. Had another one do the elbow to forearm cut mentioned earlier, pulled it open and showed me the bone. He lived and said he just needed to release some tension. (Hope I NEVER get that stressed).

Oh, just for those who are curious, from what I've seen at the pen, the best cut is the inside of the elbow, all the way across, then wrap your self in a blanket, so no one sees the blood until it's too late. It's the only successful cutting suicides I've seen.

:headbang: I really cannot understand anyone who clicked the "you're a sicko" option. If it was a joke, it was a sad and pathetic joke. If you honestly believed it...(words fail)... :sniper:
I've never tried to commit suicide or have been tempted, but I know some people who, at one point, probably qualified as depressed. They're ok now, because they have a network of friends who appreciate them and are willing to drop what they're doing and help. If these friends were the kind who would have voted "sicko", both of them would have been dead long ago.
The sheer insensitivity required to vote "you're a sicko" apalls me. People who are considering suicide need to be helped, not shunned because they're wierdos. Ignoring the problem of suicide is only make it more of a problem. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

Yeah, but in this day and age every man and his dog gets "depressed" and "suicidal". I'm not saying there aren't some real cases out there, I know there are (I've researched thoroughly into this topic). I'm also not saying I am one of the "real" ones. All I know is that I got sick of life. There was a lot of unexplained pain and sadness within me joined with the pain and suffering caused by events and situations at the time. (Serious relationship break up, a mess one at that. Family death and news of another soon to come.) I took what I thought was a huge amount of painrelievers and texted my exboyfriend to tell him. Not only did he not care, the plan didn't work. I have never felt so stupid in my life. The only thing that happened is I got horrible stomach cramps and I couldn't take another panadol for months.
My stupidity amazes me.

Been there, done that. Plotted it several times, even tried it, wouldn't be here if a certain someone wouldn't exist.

add one to the number of attempts

i've only had one "Serious" suicide attempt and i pussied out at the last min. I hate living, i'm a serious f*ck up. More then likely i'm gonna off myself somehow.

Ahh, how coincidental!

My friend in North Carolina and I have been discussing this subject for weeks now. We're both terribly suicidal, you see (clinical depression, social anxiety, paranoia... I've had problems with psychosis and I believe he has a touch of the mania, and we're both terribly lonely), and we're constantly reading articles debating the morality of it, how to do it, and so on.
I would've gotten somewhere on... Friday, I believe, but my room mate was here and I couldn't find the key to the garage where all of the nasty things are kept.

Ooh, consequently... the best way to do it seems to be carbon monoxide poisoning. That is, sit in the garage with the car running until you pass out and eventually die. No mess, no pain -- easy. :)

I'm not quite as depressed as I was four years ago, but I'm getting there. I'm looking forward to the six-hour-long sessions of lying on the floor, unable to move for the abject woe. And everything... else.

Hahahaha. Haha. Hah.

I hate living.

i've been off my meds for 5 or six months now lol. I have a few friends but none of them can relate with the depression issues i have. i was taking something for depression and an anti psychotic but i got sick of taking the damn pills and having to go to the county and get the pills. I wish someone would shoot my sorry ass.