NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, forget all these 'Ask A' threads. I'm asking the questions now!

For my first question, do you have a funny toilet quote?

What I'm referring to is a saying or quote that you are most often reminded of when taking a crap? For me, it's the line from the movie, Big Daddy, "But I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass!"

Do you have a toilet quote? If so, what is it?

"Uh-oh!" (Peter Griffin shitting himself at a family dinner)

Okay, forget all these 'Ask A' threads. I'm asking the questions now!

For my first question, do you have a funny toilet quote?

What I'm referring to is a saying or quote that you are most often reminded of when taking a crap? For me, it's the line from the movie, Big Daddy, "But I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass!"

Do you have a toilet quote? If so, what is it?
I don't-but I want to salute this idea! I was thinking, "Man, I should make an 'answer me' thread but I couldn't come up with a good question! I salute you, sir! Fantastic!

Im going to take shit for this one... butt... *ba dum tish*

A true man hating woman wipes back to front. :eek:

(all apologies for that one, Its awful I know...)

not a quote, but i got reminded of this:

http://greatjohn.com/grjodi.html

man, some people just dont get enough exercise.

i have this:


http://img166.exs.cx/img166/8645/toiletstolen2wt.jpg

(In a NOFX song called 'My Vagina', about a transsexual)

"...and when I wipe my ass,
I wipe from front to back,
'cos I don't want a bladder infection"

Just a wierd lyric to have, is all.

ick @ all the wiping from back to front.

I don't-but I want to salute this idea! I was thinking, "Man, I should make an 'answer me' thread but I couldn't come up with a good question! I salute you, sir! Fantastic!

So far, it's turning out better than expected. :)

So far, it's turning out better than expected. :)
Your sig most assuredly applies LG old chap! If better than expected includes one of the most disgusting topics ever... you've succeeded in spades!

Hahaha! Im cracking up here! :p

So far, it's turning out better than expected. :)
Do another question. I feel ill just looking at the page (and I posted twice).

Is it better to cop a feel, or feel a cop?

I've done both at once. (My wife is a cop. :D)

Have any of you done either of them? Which is better?

Okay, forget all these 'Ask A' threads. I'm asking the questions now!

For my first question, do you have a funny toilet quote?

What I'm referring to is a saying or quote that you are most often reminded of when taking a crap? For me, it's the line from the movie, Big Daddy, "But I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass!"

Do you have a toilet quote? If so, what is it?
hcgdfb5r735r6v cckgcbnvedghfsde dQDRFfv dhg c 1237534626e52fdwghdc dfsgsgwgwsgwfec2ecyjdrtywc.
Which translates into:
"Everyone knows you crap yourself when you die."- Cartman.

"Everyone knows you crap yourself when you die."- Cartman.

I don't know about that. But all the really interesting ways to die probably do. *nod*

WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR??!!?!?
*splash* *splash*

WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR??!!?!?
*splash* *splash*

LOL, I love that one! Austin Powers rules!

I always make references to a mighty siege, or breeching the toilet's defenses, or my immense firepower, etc. etc., when taking a dump.

Iggy wiggy paddy wack.

I always make references to a mighty siege, or breeching the toilet's defenses, or my immense firepower, etc. etc., when taking a dump.

Good thing that nobody here is a psychiatrist. :)

Good thing that nobody here is a psychiatrist. :)
Hehemm..I am.

Good thing that nobody here is a psychiatrist. :)

Heh. It's a mighty arsenal.

Hehemm..I am.

That explains why your head is so screwed up. :p

Every psychiatrist I have ever gone to ended up going crazy within ten sessions.

That explains why your head is so screwed up. :p

Every psychiatrist I have ever gone to ended up going crazy within ten sessions.
You see I cannot go crazy, because I am already blissfully there. :)

LOL, I love that one! Austin Powers rules!
Groovy, baby.
How bout this ....

That wasn't a movement, that was a whole symphony!!!!!

(best to imagine acoustic effects, et cetera)

Whoa, i made pimp. Does that mean i have to get out of my bathrobe and ... oh wait, not really. Just need some tacky and pungent cologne.

Nobody has answered my second question. :(

Okay, forget all these 'Ask A' threads. I'm asking the questions now!

For my first question, do you have a funny toilet quote?

What I'm referring to is a saying or quote that you are most often reminded of when taking a crap? For me, it's the line from the movie, Big Daddy, "But I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass!"

Do you have a toilet quote? If so, what is it?
You can take a crap, but I suggest you leave one instead.

Nobody has answered my second question. :(
That is cause I don't know. Sorry.

personally, i can't wait until i am a cop, and my g/f can go around copping a feel on me in one of the most ironic ways concievable.

Bump. More questions. Please.
*dangles taco in front of LG''s nose* :p

If the Olympic athletes still competed naked, what would the most interesting events be?

I certainly would watch the luge with a big bowl of popcorn at hand. :)

If the Olympic athletes still competed naked, what would the most interesting events be?

I certainly would watch the luge with a big bowl of popcorn at hand. :)

Weightlifting. *yes*

Well, the obvious response is Greco/Roman wrestling... but thats just... ew... 'thats not a carrot dangling in front of your face Kendall'...

Honestly though, I think the gymnast sports would be pretty entertaining. Running sports would also be more interesting, you would have that added 'bounce' factor. :D

Men's Hurdles.

I'd be amazed if a single one crossed the finish line. They'd be curled up in the fetal position at the second or third hurdle.

ooooo...oooo.....muddy mountain bike racing

Well, the obvious response is Greco/Roman wrestling... but thats just... ew... 'thats not a carrot dangling in front of your face Kendall'...

Honestly though, I think the gymnast sports would be pretty entertaining. Running sports would also be more interesting, you would have that added 'bounce' factor. :D

You're lucky I didn't have fluid in my mouth, 'cause it would've been all over my display... And then I'd have to hunt you down and rape you. With a twig.

You're lucky I didn't have fluid in my mouth, 'cause it would've been all over my display... And then I'd have to hunt you down and rape you. With a twig.
C'mon... surely you can find something bigger than a twig. Sheesh... all that buildup for that little thing? :rolleyes:

Men's Hurdles.

I'd be amazed if a single one crossed the finish line. They'd be curled up in the fetal position at the second or third hurdle.

Hehehe.

Would you prefer a pointed stick?

Would you prefer a pointed stick?

Be kind. ANd sanitary. Use a cucumber.

I don't have any Cucumbers... How about a Banana?

I don't have any Cucumbers... How about a Banana?

peeled or unpeeled?

Would you prefer a pointed stick?
Actually, let me fill in the rest of the dialouge...

you: Im gonna rape you with this stick!

me: Who are you gonna please with that little thing?

you: me... duh.

me: oh... in that case, carry on.

LG, in addition, I think some nude Hockey would be fun - can you imagine the crowd watching on when a fight broke out between two gigantic burly, over-hairy naked men with skates on? Creeeeeepy!

Pfff, you wanker :D.

Anyway, I think that American Football would be a (painfully) interesting nude sport to watch. Wow, talk about pain...

Actually, let me fill in the rest of the dialouge...

you: Im gonna rape you with this stick!

me: Who are you gonna please with that little thing?

you: me... duh.

me: oh... in that case, carry on.

LG, in addition, I think some nude Hockey would be fun - can you imagine the crowd watching on when a fight broke out between two gigantic burly, over-hairy naked men with skates on? Creeeeeepy!

ANd injuries on ice! Fun! :D

ANd injuries on ice! Fun! :D
Well, it would definitely add to the definition of 'stick handling'. I think the phrase 'he shoots... he scores!!!' would have to be re-applied too, since it would really have more bearing on penalties for cross checking from behind. When they got penalties, should they still call it getting 'stuffed in the box'?

Well, it would definitely add to the definition of 'stick handling'. I think the phrase 'he shoots... he scores!!!' would have to be re-applied too, since it would really have more bearing on penalties for cross checking from behind. When they got penalties, should they still call it getting 'stuffed in the box'?

They should leave the calls as-is!!!

Well, it would definitely add to the definition of 'stick handling'. I think the phrase 'he shoots... he scores!!!' would have to be re-applied too, since it would really have more bearing on penalties for cross checking from behind. When they got penalties, should they still call it getting 'stuffed in the box'?

Maybe that's what will have to be done to help Hockey recover from the strike. :)

All I know is, I sure feel bad for that goalie... I mean, baseball would be bad, getting 'beaned' with a ball like that going close to 100mph, but a puck is harder, its cold and frozen, and in most cases going faster... not to mention the fact that its the perfect shape to really leave a mark. They might have to ban shots through the five hole... ouch. :eek:

Do you have a toilet quote? If so, what is it?

Winston Churchill stops by a men’s room where he encounters Labourite Clement Attlee, the man who replaced him as Prime Minister after WWII.

When Attlee took the next urinal, Churchill moved a few places away.


"My, my, Winston," Attlee said. "Are we being modest?"

Churchill replied: "Not at all, Clement. It’s just that whenever you Labourite chaps see something that is large, privately owned and working well, you want to nationalize it."

Maybe that's what will have to be done to help Hockey recover from the strike. :)
For some reason I don't think they would be attracting the same male crowd...

All I know is, I sure feel bad for that goalie... I mean, baseball would be bad, getting 'beaned' with a ball like that going close to 100mph, but a puck is harder, its cold and frozen, and in most cases going faster... not to mention the fact that its the perfect shape to really leave a mark. They might have to ban shots through the five hole... ouch. :eek:

That's a whole other world of pain... I mean, holy-fucking-shit...

For some reason I don't think they would be attracting the same male crowd...

Wanna bet? :p

Wanna bet? :p
Just call it (http://www.gayottawa.com/web/gayottawa/hockey/images/OGHAlogo.GIF) a hunch (http://www.outsports.com/gaygames/profiles/FEBkevin3b.jpg) ;)

Just think about it: Nude American Football. The term "Quarterback Sack" would earn a whole new meaning...

Just think about it: Nude American Football. The term "Quarterback Sack" would earn a whole new meaning...
Well, its official... I'm going to need a new keyboard after that one... booger water everywhere! Whee!! :p

He sacked the quarterback! :eek:

Well, its official... I'm going to need a new keyboard after that one... booger water everywhere! Whee!! :p

Now you see how it feels!!!

Now you see how it feels!!!
I do, and so does my keyboard.

On the topic of Football, would it matter whether it was Canadian or American?

In Canada our balls are bigger and we get less downs? We go longer too... I guess we just like mucking about in the mud on the field. And you know what they say, if theres grass on the feild, play ball!

... and if theres not, spread the seed so the next guy can!

I've gotta hand it to you, man. That's fucking priceless!

What a fun thread. :)

This topic will probably keep the sick minds active all night. I'll probably add another question tomorrow.

What a fun thread. :)

This topic will probably keep the sick minds active all night. I'll probably add another question tomorrow.
Good thinking! Wheee!!!

Also, on the topic of football, would it be gay to use the term 'Backfield in motion'? What about all the ass slapping? Well, actually, I guess passing in the endzone in against the rules so...

"Backfield In Motion" wouldn't be any gayer than "Oh my, he's dropped a lot of balls today.".

"Backfield In Motion" wouldn't be any gayer than "Oh my, he's dropped a lot of balls today.".
Shit! I just cleaned this keyboard off!!! I really should hide my glass of water when reading this thread!

That might be a good idea!

Next Question:

If you could make one basic change to the fundamental structure of the natural world, what would it be?

As for me, I'd make water a gel. :)

I'd want trees that grew those little teleportation black holes like in looney tunes, I mean, they seemed pretty organic... they must be natural. I wonder how you set the desination...

I'd want trees that grew those little teleportation black holes like in looney tunes, I mean, they seemed pretty organic... they must be natural. I wonder how you set the desination...
I suppose they would follow basic cartoon physics; in other words, whatever is funniest.

i want gravity to be sharply lessened. except on the morbidly obese. it will only increase for them. fat looks a lot funnier the danglier it gets. and as we all know, they only exist for my amusement in the first place.

If I'm allowed to change something in the social spectrum, I'd change the fandamental nature of religion, so that it would be possible to get wasted for Allah, or get laid for Christ.

Conversion would be so easy!

I suppose they would follow basic cartoon physics; in other words, whatever is funniest.
Perfect! First stop for me: A giant mole bashing game, where there are hot scantily clad girls hitting me on the head with a giant foam dildo as I pop out of a giant love hole --- its set up with commentation just like Takeshi's castle, and theres polka playing in the background.

nude fencing would rule without a doubt. and i would love watching the mens high jump, if only for the magic moment when they clear the bar, belly up the sky...............*sigh*

Occidio, I want you to be one of the mole bashing girls - are you in?

Well, or to be technically correct, am I?

Occidio, I want you to be one of the mole bashing girls - are you in?

Well, or to be technically correct, am I?
in in in in

in in in in
Shouldnt that be:

in out in out in out in out in *tap tap* out in out in out *lick* in out in out in out in out in out *kiss kiss* in out in out in out in out *smack smack* in out in out (repeat)

Shouldnt that be:

in out in out in out in out in *tap tap* out in out in out *lick* in out in out in out in out in out *kiss kiss* in out in out in out in out *smack smack* in out in out (repeat)
ok. i can admit it. that's hot.

ok. i can admit it. that's hot.
Anything involving Occidio and the words listed above is bound to be hot... actually, thats not all that would be bound... perhaps a little gag too...

Anything involving Occidio and the words listed above is bound to be hot... actually, thats not all that would be bound... perhaps a little gag too...
go blindfold. i can say with no hesitation or doubt that hands tied to the bed+blindfold+adventerous partner=loads of fun (loads of something anyway ;) )

go blindfold. i can say with no hesitation or doubt that hands tied to the bed+blindfold+adventerous partner=loads of fun (loads of something anyway ;) )
damn snappy. ;)

*shudders*

Funnest nude sport to watch woud be the gymnastic events, and maybe skating. Track & field would be great to.

Damn, no more football. Just when I was going to say a few choice words about tight ends and wide recievers. :(