NationStates Jolt Archive

Who's going to die first?

Breakdown:

Schiavo (even)
The Pope (3-1)
Jerry Falwell (1.5-1)

Betting has opened! Bets are off when someone dies.

Trifecta: Not on the poll, but all of them croaking on the same day will pay 50-1.

Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only. The post author, Keruvalia, nor the parent company, XXIII Publications, assumes liability and no actual money will be exchanged. Neither the author or parent company wish death upon any of these individuals, but recognizes and accepts the human condition. Making light of another person's misery comprises 90% of all humor and the parent company will gladly provide 10,000 examples as proof if requested in writing to the home office within 30 days of the opening of this thread. All complaints must be submitted in triplicate. Employees of XXIII Publications and their families are ineligable for this contest. All praise is due to Allah, 'Stros #1, and the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.

Who's going to die first?

Breakdown:

Schiavo (even)
The Pope (3-1)
Jerry Falwell (1.5-1)

Betting has opened! Bets are off when someone dies.
$5 on the Pope.

Who's going to die first?

Breakdown:

Schiavo (even)
The Pope (3-1)
Jerry Falwell (1.5-1)

Betting has opened! Bets are off when someone dies.


I had originally hoped that the pope and schiavo would go down on easter, but when i learned about falwell i started drooling for the TRIFECTA.

I'll put 5$ on all of them going down the same day.

I'll need money to pay for the celebratory booze. (on account of falwell and to an extent the pope)

TRIFECTA.


That pays 50-1. :D 1st post edited.

Wasn't Jerry Falwell the b@$73rd that protested the murdered gay guy's funeral?
Nevermind.

Shiavo will die 10 or 11 days from now.
The pope will die upon hearing Shaivo's death. Jerry will live until May.

The pope...He looks like he died years ago.

Wasn't Jerry Falwell the b@$73rd that protested the murdered gay guy's funeral?
Yeah.
What if two die on the same day, but not three?

Wasn't Jerry Falwell the b@$73rd that protested the murdered gay guy's funeral?

The one and only!

Wasn't Jerry Falwell the b@$73rd that protested the murdered gay guy's funeral?

he was?

wouldn't suprise me.


anyway, i put my money on schiavo. doctors say she's only got one or two days left.

pays the least, but it's a safe bet

he was?

wouldn't suprise me.


anyway, i put my money on schiavo. doctors say she's only got one or two days left.

pays the least, but it's a safe bet
Afraid to take a chance?

Argh. I can't do it. :(

I don't want the pope to die.

*looks around* Huh? No. I'm not catholic(though I am christian). No. I really don't give a rat's ass about the old fart. He's done wondrous and horrendous things in the name of God. I'll call it a wash to avoid detalied analysis of his life.

What I care about is that if he dies as pope, we're in for the biggest shitstorm or global grief and mourning ever. It'll make Bob Hope's death pale in comparison. It'll inundate us all in a morass of articles. It'll drown the board in more argumantative threads than Ronald Reagan's death did.

I hope he lives forever. Or barring that, I hope a new pope is chosen before the old geezer croaks. It'll still be hell, but it'll be somewhat more manageable if there's a new pope first.

*bleah* :(

Argh. I can't do it. :(


It's ok. Read the disclaimer.

Argh. I can't do it. :(

I don't want the pope to die.

*looks around* Huh? No. I'm not catholic(though I am christian). No. I really don't give a rat's ass about the old fart. He's done wondrous and horrendous things in the name of God. I'll call it a wash to avoid detalied analysis of his life.

What I care about is that if he dies as pope, we're in for the biggest shitstorm or global grief and mourning ever. It'll make Bob Hope's death pale in comparison. It'll inundate us all in a morass of articles. It'll drown the board in more argumantative threads than Ronald Reagan's death did.

I hope he lives forever. Or barring that, I hope a new pope is chosen before the old geezer croaks. It'll still be hell, but it'll be somewhat more manageable if there's a new pope first.

*bleah* :(
WHAT? You think this will cause more mourning than when Friends went off the air? Thats impossible?!!##$%#$%? :eek:

It's ok. Read the disclaimer.

Ah, well in that case, I'll take $20 on Falwell. :)

Oh, and I'll bet another $50 that he goes straight to Hell. :D

I bet $500 he'll go to Heaven (that should pay a 100000000-1)

WHAT? You think this will cause more mourning than when Friends went off the air? Thats impossible?!!##$%#$%? :eek:

Difficult to believe, but yes. Even when you factor in 'Joey'. :(

Difficult to believe, but yes. Even when you factor in 'Joey'. :(
It'll be tough, but it can be done.

Afraid to take a chance?


the evidence points to schiavo.

i go with the facts ;)

$500 on this order: Schiavo, Pope, Falwell.

Oh, and Kervoskia: I have contacts in Heaven who agreed to introduce him to the afterlife version of bending over in a prison shower. I had to pay a few of the archangels handsomely to get them to go along with it, but they agreed to the trade of 20 souls converted to their side in exchange for ignoring Falwell's pleas.

Schiavo, Pope, Falwell.

i'm with him on that one.

$20

what happened to falwell, anyway?

Pneunomia.

That disclaimer wasnt there when I bet so I intend fully to send you 5$ in the confident hope that I will win.

$500 on this order: Schiavo, Pope, Falwell.

Oh, and Kervoskia: I have contacts in Heaven who agreed to introduce him to the afterlife version of bending over in a prison shower. I had to pay a few of the archangels handsomely to get them to go along with it, but they agreed to the trade of 20 souls converted to their side in exchange for ignoring Falwell's pleas.
Where are you going to find 20 souls?

Where are you going to find 20 souls?

Congress. They aren't using em. :D

Congress. They aren't using em. :D
But Satan already laid claim to them. :confused:

$25 on Johnny Cochrane. :D

Oh... erm... in that case, make that Schiavo, the other two will be hooked up to life support for extended periods of time.

But Satan already laid claim to them. :confused:

He rents em out. Even he doesn't want them befouling his home. :p

He rents em out. Even he doesn't want them befouling his home. :p
That explains alot.

Where are you going to find 20 souls?

I converted 10 Protestants to Satanism. When they were kicked out of their community, they stopped being bad examples to their kids and the children won't be spreading discord, which will result in their 20 friends not being as influenced against Christianity and them sticking to the religion.

$200 and a half-ounce of white rhino chronic on trifecta.

Schiavo goes first. She's been starving since Friday before last, and her insides must be half-mummified by now. Her number is up.

Falwell is a dark horse, since we don't know the severity of his condition. All things being equal, I say he goes next, followed by the Pope in a few months.

I converted 10 Protestants to Satanism. When they were kicked out of their community, they stopped being bad examples to their kids and the children won't be spreading discord, which will result in their 20 friends not being as influenced against Christianity and them sticking to the religion.

I'm clarifying something: The above was a joke. You may stop hiding now.

Schiavo will be violently freed by the mob of hundreds of protesters and killed en route to the makeshift ambulance to take her back to her parents. JF will disappear in late april-early may, and resurface in a few years from captivity by gay-straight alliance extremists. The government will be forced to pay him millions of dollars.

The Pope will die the morning before schiavo is incidentally killed.

23-1.

Twelve dollars on my outcome.

Shiavo will be killed by her mothers desperate attempts to insert the feeding tube herself, and will accidentally stab her in the jugular. the pope will die of alergies caused by his feeding tube in his nose, and JF will simply disapear. never to be seen again, presumably dead, or kidnapped by aliens and sent to the mines in Africa. yep.

Wouldn't it be funny if the guy who starts it takes a gun and kills them all to make trifecta, and win a shitload of money.

Pneunomia.

That's a shitty way to go, you literally drown in your own mucus. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. Do you think they'll keep him "alive" in a persistant vegetative state? Oh, and what do you think Larry Flynt (not that I think he's a nice person) is making of JF's condition?

I think science is on my side when I bet $20 on Schiavo - payable by post-dated, third person, out of state cheque

schiavo for obvious reasons.
but i am hoping someone snipes jesses jackson before she goes. that would rule. nice thread, by the way, doctor.

fuck the pope.

fuck the pope.

ew.

no thanks

wait...

after he's dead?!

ok, that's fine then :p

ew.

no thanks

wait...

after he's dead?!

ok, that's fine then :p
what, you thought i meant during his life? hell no. that's wicked sinful. fucking pope.

schiavo for obvious reasons.
but i am hoping someone snipes jesses jackson before she goes. that would rule. nice thread, by the way, doctor.

Huh? Don't like his rhymes?