NationStates Jolt Archive

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there. I'd rather not go to hell either but since I'm not claustrophobic or afraid of heat and pretty resistant to pain I think Hell is a better option.

Or there's something inbetween. I don't know. I don't care actually, this is the here and now and what happens after I'm dead isn't something to think about right now. Why is everybody busy with what happens after you die? The Bible is quite clear about the subject, but the person who wrote it, has he ever been there? God is immortal, so he cannot see what's "life" after you die. Very interesting. Just have fun in your life and don't take things too seriously, that's what I say.

Random fun fact: the e in e-mail stands for electronic!

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there.

And remember, you're there for eternity. That's a bit of a long time.

Yes, and enjoy it.

Burn baby, burn...it's a disco inferno.

I dare Satan to find something which annoys me.

It'd be a lot more fun if we turned into spectres after we died.
Then we could go anywhere and no-one would see us. Even other planets or planes of existence.

I dare Satan to find something which annoys me.
David Hasselhoff singing?

I dare Satan to find something which annoys me.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/54/

I was forced to listen to German schlagers for three hours straight during a party. Try again.

Just make up your own religion with your own heaven that perfectly suits you, and brainwash yourself (and why not some other people too while you are at it?) with it until you fully believe in it. Problem solved! :D

If you're the bubbling crockpot of neurosis that most human beings are, satan won't have to. They'll just lock you in a room till you snap.

Technically, the cannibal and serial killer, Jeffrey Daumer converted to Christianity before dying. So, he went to heaven.

But John Lennon wasn't a Christian and it's very unlikely that the Dalai Lama will convert to Christianity, either. So, they're going to hell.

And if I had a choice between Attorney General Ashcroft and Jeffrey Daumer OR Lennon and the Dalai Lama, I think it's obvious where I'd go.

I heard a version where everyone goes to Heaven, but because ot everyone thinks worshipping God all the time is fun they make their own Hell.
Sounds pretty miserable to me.

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me.

Well, the wings would be fun, but standing around smiling purely at the women angels would get old.

Nirvana might be nice.

Viking heaven would be good for a while - swilling mead, hacking away at the roast boar, singing songs, and making love to Valkyrie after Valkyrie.

But "forever" takes the fun out of any concept.

I figure that heaven is something beyond our imaginations.

I dare Satan to find something which annoys me.

http://www.transbuddha.com/osaka/osakaphone.html

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there. I'd rather not go to hell either but since I'm not claustrophobic or afraid of heat and pretty resistant to pain I think Hell is a better option.

Or there's something inbetween. I don't know. I don't care actually, this is the here and now and what happens after I'm dead isn't something to think about right now. Why is everybody busy with what happens after you die? The Bible is quite clear about the subject, but the person who wrote it, has he ever been there? God is immortal, so he cannot see what's "life" after you die. Very interesting. Just have fun in your life and don't take things too seriously, that's what I say.

Random fun fact: the e in e-mail stands for electronic!

Nope, you are too lazy to get to hell. Only those who are actively trying can make it, you can't get to hell by default, or inaction.
You are also apparently too ignorant to make it, yes Ignorance can be bliss in some ways.

I prefer the thought that Heaven is our collective conciousnesses creating a Heaven... where we could do whatever we want...it'd be the only Anarchic place on earth!...aside from Somalia!

Something that will torture you forever eh?

How about being goatse'd and Tubgirl'd for the rest of your life...

How about being goatse'd and Tubgirl'd for the rest of your life...I am immune to any of the gore stuff. I can even look at pain.jpg, if you know what I mean.

http://www.transbuddha.com/osaka/osakaphone.html


i love that song!

"cellular, modular, interactiveodular"

I dare Satan to find something which annoys me.

If "annoying" is synonymous with "suffering" to you, I think Hell would have plenty to keep you busy.

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there. I'd rather not go to hell either but since I'm not claustrophobic or afraid of heat and pretty resistant to pain I think Hell is a better option.

Or there's something inbetween. I don't know. I don't care actually, this is the here and now and what happens after I'm dead isn't something to think about right now. Why is everybody busy with what happens after you die? The Bible is quite clear about the subject, but the person who wrote it, has he ever been there? God is immortal, so he cannot see what's "life" after you die. Very interesting. Just have fun in your life and don't take things too seriously, that's what I say.

Random fun fact: the e in e-mail stands for electronic!

Heaven is heaven. It's not too cold, it's not too hot. There's no lovey dovey singing circles if you don't want there to be. And I think (don't hold me to it, I'm not sure) only Angels sit on clouds playing harps.

i like to think of heaven as some place where you can do anything you want... like play Counter-strike FOREVER!!!
My heaven

:gundge:

I don't see Hell as being feasible. I mean humans can learn to enjoy anything. Look at the Stockholm Syndrome. If you kidnap someone, keep them isolated and brutalize them enough, they will eventually love you for it and even take part in your sadistic and criminal past-times willingly.

Since humans tend to be hardwired to have the ability to become inured to just about any form of torture, I think that Satan has long since given up and is probably watching re-runs of 'Full House' while eating Ben and Jerry's with his big ol' gut hanging out of his bathrobe.

OR Hell is full of demons like so:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/jaguar1024/1233_coop_08.jpg

And I'm so there.

I doubt that the devil, while trying to torture you would put them there. Or he could put them on the other side of a electric fence beconing to you to join them, only to be shocked everytime you tried.

OR Hell is full of demons like so: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...233_coop_08.jpg

I'll be there. Well, time to go kill someone...

That's fine, if I just get to watch those demons, that's enough. I'm a simple man with simple pleasures.

That's fine, if I just get to watch those demons, that's enough. I'm a simple man with simple pleasures.

Well, more for me... I hope.
Given my luck, Satan will probably castrate me first... :(

That's what happens when you get too greedy, Satan castrates you. The Pope was right!

i like to think of heaven as some place where you can do anything you want... like play Counter-strike FOREVER!!!
My heaven

:gundge:

But.. but... that emoticon is playing Unreal Tournament.

People in this thread really need to watch Hellraiser, or its sequels.

Mmm, pinhead.

People in this thread really need to watch Hellraiser, or its sequels.

Hey, the cenobites are "ageless experimenters in the higher reaches of pleasure". Hell wouldn't be to bad for me... I'd go with it.

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there. I'd rather not go to hell either but since I'm not claustrophobic or afraid of heat and pretty resistant to pain I think Hell is a better option.

Or there's something inbetween. I don't know. I don't care actually, this is the here and now and what happens after I'm dead isn't something to think about right now. Why is everybody busy with what happens after you die? The Bible is quite clear about the subject, but the person who wrote it, has he ever been there? God is immortal, so he cannot see what's "life" after you die. Very interesting. Just have fun in your life and don't take things too seriously, that's what I say.

Random fun fact: the e in e-mail stands for electronic!

You have an extremely distorted view of heaven. Heaven is when the uncomprehendable all of a sudden becomes comprehended. It is probably like an explosion that utterly consumes your previous thoughts. Haven't you ever thought of something that was so profound that it felt like time stopped and all the hairs of your body stand on end, and your eyes water? It's 1,00000000000000000000000000000 times over in heaven. Except that you are given the perception to understand it perfectly.

Hey I thought that the movie "Event Horizon' with Sam Neil portrayed hell in the worst and most terrifying way i have ever seen it, and it's just torture.

Event Horizon is actually pretty tame in the gore department. You want gore? I'll describe to you the only time I have ever been allowed to run or play a Call of Cthulhu game. By the end of it, seeing a man hanging by his entrails from your overhead fan doesn't seem to be quite as bad.

As for Hell: Since most religious sects believe the others will go there, pretty much everyone will. Since we're all going to Hell eventually, why not buy property there? I've already got Lilith to agree to be my roommate.

Hey I thought that the movie "Event Horizon' with Sam Neil portrayed hell in the worst and most terrifying way i have ever seen it, and it's just torture.

You're right ... that movie is torture.

I was forced to listen to German schlagers for three hours straight during a party. Try again.

Isn't that considered torture?

Every time I get into my parents' cars, nothing but Schlager is played.

You start the engine and the radio is at full blast - are they trying to get me back for having my channels tuned on when I leave it or what ;)

People in this thread really need to watch Hellraiser, or its sequels.

Mmm, pinhead.

Time... to play!

That reminds me of a joke...

On old lady gets to the gates of Heaven and is met by St Peter.
"Hello Molly," says St Peter. He starts looking through the book as a horrendous scream echoes from within the walls.
"Goodness!" said the old lady. "What was that?"
"Don't worry about that, dear. That was just one of the new angels having a hole drilled in their head for the halo to be fitted."
"Oh, right..." The old lady looked a bit perturbed.
St Peter continues looking through the book. Another piercing scream resounds.
"What was that?" the old lady squeaked.
"That's just the new angel having the holes drilled in their shoulderblades for the wings, don't worry about that. Oh look! Congratulations Molly, you're allowed into Heaven!"
"I don't want to go to Heaven! I want to go to Hell!"
"Oh no, you don't want to go there! You'll be raped and sodomised!"
"Yes," said the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that."

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there. I'd rather not go to hell either but since I'm not claustrophobic or afraid of heat and pretty resistant to pain I think Hell is a better option.

Or there's something inbetween. I don't know. I don't care actually, this is the here and now and what happens after I'm dead isn't something to think about right now. Why is everybody busy with what happens after you die? The Bible is quite clear about the subject, but the person who wrote it, has he ever been there? God is immortal, so he cannot see what's "life" after you die. Very interesting. Just have fun in your life and don't take things too seriously, that's what I say.

Random fun fact: the e in e-mail stands for electronic!

Yes...but that's better than hanging with those faggs in heaven.

Something that will torture you forever eh?

How about being goatse'd and Tubgirl'd for the rest of your life...
oh god, tubgirl NO!!!

Does anyone else realize that the bible has no description of Hell? Does anyone else realize that the church just kinda came up with it one day?

For those of you who want biblical proof that we all go to Heaven, try John 10:28 and 10:29, where Jesus says;

"And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."

Well, if Heaven is only for people like Jerry Fallwel, Fred Phelps, and their ilk, I really don't think I'd want to be there.

Hell? Too hot for my tastes...

Just give me limbo or make me a ghost! Better yet, why don't you make me immortal eh?

Does anyone else realize that the bible has no description of Hell? Does anyone else realize that the church just kinda came up with it one day?

For those of you who want biblical proof that we all go to Heaven, try John 10:28 and 10:29, where Jesus says;

"And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."

An irony is that most concepts of Hell are based on the Lake of Fire mentioned in Revelations. The one thing missing is that Satan is thrown in there at the end, not there already.

I am immune to any of the gore stuff. I can even look at pain.jpg, if you know what I mean.
in hell tubgirl will spray her fluids into your mouth!!!

guffingford. i think you are going nowhere. no heaven. no hell. you are going to rot slowly. if you are lucky,though, you will be embalmed by yours truly. and if you are hot, i just may give you a GREAT sendoff.

guffingford. i think you are going nowhere. no heaven. no hell. you are going to rot slowly. if you are lucky,though, you will be embalmed by yours truly. and if you are hot, i just may give you a GREAT sendoff.
that is so gross. so very gross that you need to get yer sweet ass online.

guff, you'll be fine if you concentrate more on the life you're living than the one that comes after, be it decompostion or eternal bliss. live as best you can, the rest should fall into place. if not, then hey, maybe god's just a dick.

that is so gross. so very gross that you need to get yer sweet ass online.

guff, you'll be fine if you concentrate more on the life you're living than the one that comes after, be it decompostion or eternal bliss. live as best you can, the rest should fall into place. if not, then hey, maybe god's just a dick.
i will soon. i am at work, and am doing 4 million things at once. things should chill in a bit though.

that is so gross. so very gross that you need to get yer sweet ass online.

guff, you'll be fine if you concentrate more on the life you're living than the one that comes after, be it decompostion or eternal bliss. live as best you can, the rest should fall into place. if not, then hey, maybe god's just a dick.Maybe I'm gonna have so many near-death experiences I'm gonna drive them all insane at the end of the tunnel. That'll piss God off to see the same face eight times a week.

Meh, probably not. Saint Peter would probably get mad, and his job is stressful enough...

i will soon. i am at work, and am doing 4 million things at once. things should chill in a bit though.
thanky.

I mean, heaven sounds a little too fun and friendly for me. You know, the way heaven is portrayed to me in those old paintings with golden frames. It's a place where everybody, man and women, dances and sings in a huge circle with God and Jesus... Fun with the whole Holy Family. I don't hold a grudge against the holy dude, no. It's just... Dancing and singing ain't my type of having fun. Especially when you know the select people in heaven wear white robes or dresses. And being so high in the sky playing with your harp on a cloud. The climate tends to be a lot colder up there. I'd rather not go to hell either but since I'm not claustrophobic or afraid of heat and pretty resistant to pain I think Hell is a better option.

Or there's something inbetween. I don't know. I don't care actually, this is the here and now and what happens after I'm dead isn't something to think about right now. Why is everybody busy with what happens after you die? The Bible is quite clear about the subject, but the person who wrote it, has he ever been there? God is immortal, so he cannot see what's "life" after you die. Very interesting. Just have fun in your life and don't take things too seriously, that's what I say.

Random fun fact: the e in e-mail stands for electronic!

Did you see the episode of the twighlight zone where this robber died and was getting his every wish fulfilled but later got bored for winning at everything and wished to go to hell but it turns out he already was

I knew that random fact lets have a better one like this:

Edison got sued for patent infringes for building the lightbulb without swan's approval. Swan settled and became the partner of a company now called GE, general electric. Edison didnt even build the lightbulb first, he saw how to build it from the newspaper or some article.

Does anyone else realize that the bible has no description of Hell? Does anyone else realize that the church just kinda came up with it one day?

For those of you who want biblical proof that we all go to Heaven, try John 10:28 and 10:29, where Jesus says;

"And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."

Hell was made to get new followers. There is no hell :)

Hell? Too hot for my tastes...

It's not written anywhere that hell's gotta be hot - if you like heat, your personal hell is gonna be freezing :eek: <- frozen Bolol :p

I like C.S. Lewis' take in "The Screwtape Letters" that Hell is full of religious people.

It's not written anywhere that hell's gotta be hot - if you like heat, your personal hell is gonna be freezing :eek: <- frozen Bolol :p
Actually the innermost hell is supposed to be freezing. Extreme cold burns just as much as extreme heat.