NationStates Jolt Archive

With the close results and level of emotion invested into the last two presidential campaigns, how bad do you think the campaigning in 2008 will get? Will it be cleaner or dirtier? Will it be even more controversial?

I, for one, welcome George W. Bush's third term.

I think the elections were so heated because of the people who were running. As for the 2008 elections, we can't really say how they're going to be until we know who's running. It'll be interesting to see what'll happen.

I think Kerry will kill bush in a mysterious murder/suicide, and their bodies will merge and start floating and turn into a giant black ball that starts sucking stuff in, then a couple of wierd little kids will be conscripted to ride around in giant robots and they'll kill the giant black ball and it'll explode and bleed all over Tokyo...

Oh wait, I'm getting the elections confused with an anime plot. Oops.

I think Kerry will kill bush in a mysterious murder/suicide, and their bodies will merge and start floating and turn into a giant black ball that starts sucking stuff in, then a couple of wierd little kids will be conscripted to ride around in giant robots and they'll kill the giant black ball and it'll explode and bleed all over Tokyo...

Oh wait, I'm getting the elections confused with an anime plot. Oops.

I think that is plausible, just as long as the ball has tentacles and a sexual attraction to 10 year old girls.

I, for one, welcome George W. Bush's third term.
Ummmm, wouldn't that be against the law?

I think the elections were so heated because of the people who were running. As for the 2008 elections, we can't really say how they're going to be until we know who's running. It'll be interesting to see what'll happen.
Really? Kerry was not really a very charismatic, divisive or exciting candidate in himself. I think that the polarisation was due to the issues, for example the Iraq war which was much more polarising and important than any other campaign issue probably since Vietnam.

Swimmingpool's spot on, I think. There won't be as much vitriol or hatred this time around because we won't have a sitting President whom half country has had four years to despise.

Notice of Revocation of Independence

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of
your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the
97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without
the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether
any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown
Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate
effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness
on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed'
not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g.
Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if
you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up "vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words interspersed
with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an
unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up "interspersed."

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're
not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have
chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you
won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft
know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to
take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to
cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents ---
Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with
subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no
such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is
"Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American
States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire,
Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to
play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will
not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience
who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want
you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one
kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a
very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.
You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play
proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a
difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not
involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full
kevlar body armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by
2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played
outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is
a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead
of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called
"rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized
gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public
than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible
enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a
permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a
new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called
"Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand
what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,
you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of
conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call
'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they
are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered
fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium.
Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called
"crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The
traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served
warm and flat.

Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added
to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this
quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not
actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper
British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of
known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The
substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be
referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the
product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be
referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true
Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech
Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. >From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline,"
as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005)
prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to
those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK
petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to
sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,
then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

snip

Congratulations! You are the 231,453th person to post that list! Give yourself a hand for being so original!

May I have a cookie, too?

Civil war.

Sonofabitch... I came up with a very similar idea to the one German Nightmare posted. Although it was only the first bit, and dealt with a little-know clause in the constitution... nonetheless. Some thieving cad made off with my idea!

I think it can't be any worse.

I've heared that the FEC is FINALLY looking at regulating political money on the internet. JEEZ GUYS!!!! about 4 years too late!!!! I hope they get those damned 527s too. Maybe if we ENFORCE the McCain-Feingold campaign finance law, it will work!! Imagine!

Civil war.

Feh. If only. I don't know WHAT it'd take to make America smarten up, sit up in bed and take notice of the fact they're now living in a police state. Presumably they'd each have to find themselves living inside an open-air dog kennel first. Until then, they're sure to blame all their woes on anti-conservative media.

It will probably go back to how it was in the Clinton years: ultra low turnouts with gigantic landslides.

Swimmingpool's spot on, I think. There won't be as much vitriol or hatred this time around because we won't have a sitting President whom half country has had four years to despise.

There's one thing that could replenish the vitriol: Jeb Bush running. Either he or Giuliani will be running on the Republican ticket the way I see it. If Bush runs then people may (it all depends on whether events leading up to the 2008 election make George W. Bush look good or bad) be deeply divided in a way reminicent, although probably not quite as much, of the 2004 election. If Giuliani runs then we'll get to see what it looks like when a Democrat gets beaten so badly his head spins.

I'm personally hoping for Giuliani or a suprise constitutional amendment that allows Arnold to run. It'd be nice to see a socially moderate Republican that has even the most vague concept of the word 'budget' in the White House. As long as the next president deals with looming threats to our nation and doesn't allow abortion I'll be reasonably happy with the outcome.

As to number 15 we have no idea so we can not tell you

your gas would not be 6 dollars a gallon if your gov. did not add 5 dollars in tax to every gallon

John McCain!!!!!!!!!!

i am tipping the next president will be neither a Democrat, nor a Republican. it will be Jessie 'The Body' Ventura, with the backing of Donald Trump

There's one thing that could replenish the vitriol: Jeb Bush running. Either he or Giuliani will be running on the Republican ticket the way I see it. If Bush runs then people may (it all depends on whether events leading up to the 2008 election make George W. Bush look good or bad) be deeply divided in a way reminicent, although probably not quite as much, of the 2004 election. If Giuliani runs then we'll get to see what it looks like when a Democrat gets beaten so badly his head spins.

I'm personally hoping for Giuliani or a suprise constitutional amendment that allows Arnold to run. It'd be nice to see a socially moderate Republican that has even the most vague concept of the word 'budget' in the White House. As long as the next president deals with looming threats to our nation and doesn't allow abortion I'll be reasonably happy with the outcome.I wouldn't mind a socially moderate, fiscally conservative President as well. Someone to fix Congress up a bit here. However, if the President is republican, I'd prefer for the Congress to be Democratic; these past eight years have not been promising when it comes to the Republicans controlling the Executive and Legislative branches. It appears they need to have checks involuntarily placed on them.

And isn't abortion out of the Executive's hands at this point?

With the close results and level of emotion invested into the last two presidential campaigns, how bad do you think the campaigning in 2008 will get? Will it be cleaner or dirtier? Will it be even more controversial?
I, myself, with the current politcorrectness, predict
A black, muslim, lesbian woman
against a half native american, half hispanicm atheist, disabled woman

I think that all the polls would show the Democrat winning by 10% or more, with the exit polls backing it up- but the Republican candidate will 'mysteriously' win in the actual count...

There's one thing that could replenish the vitriol: Jeb Bush running. Either he or Giuliani will be running on the Republican ticket the way I see it. If Bush runs then people may (it all depends on whether events leading up to the 2008 election make George W. Bush look good or bad) be deeply divided in a way reminicent, although probably not quite as much, of the 2004 election. If Giuliani runs then we'll get to see what it looks like when a Democrat gets beaten so badly his head spins.

I'm personally hoping for Giuliani or a suprise constitutional amendment that allows Arnold to run. It'd be nice to see a socially moderate Republican that has even the most vague concept of the word 'budget' in the White House. As long as the next president deals with looming threats to our nation and doesn't allow abortion I'll be reasonably happy with the outcome.

Oh please, no!

Jeb?!? Not another one of those... Do they never run out of'em?!?

As for Giuliani, he lost all my sympathy after what he said about Germany and the tragic events of the 1972 Olympics. I mean, come on, as bad as that what happened in Munich has been - look what happened to his city under his watch... Shifting the blame never helped, he had better shut up about it. (I know that he couldn't have done anything to prevent 9/11, so please don't get aroused about it - I love New York City).

Leaves us wiz da Tuhmeneta :mp5: - you sure you really want him as your president? (Reminds me too much of Demolition Man!)

First thing, he's gonna install SkyNet and off we all go with the Presinator - the only good aspect is that he'd be the only one who'd know how to kick some alien butt should the occasion ever occur :gundge:

Duh-dumm, dumm, du-dumm...
Duh-dumm, dumm, du-dumm...
Daaaa, da-da-daaa :p

At least he would already have the best slogan ever for his reelection :D

I think it will be Funny(intentional capital "F") as hell watching the democrats run a ritch, white woman (Hillary Clinton) against the Republicans running black woman from a poor/disenfranchized background.

Anyone else find if funny as hell that the NAACP supports the Democrats when it's the republicans placeing minorities in possitions of power dispite democratic oposition.

I, myself, with the current political correctness, predict a black, Muslim, lesbian woman against a half native American, half Hispanic, atheist, disabled woman
Good thinking! Only problem remaining:

Zey, in time, vill boz be tuhmenetad... :mp5:

Duh-dumm, dumm, du-dumm...

nothing like thinking ahead, eh, brad?

Brad? Vhat doz zat mean?
*Shakes head*

No really, what does brad mean?!?

Brad? Vhat doz zat mean?
*Shakes head*

No really, what does brad mean?!?
its a personal jibe at a person on the thread.
while you are at it......do you wear BDU's? are you hot? send me a picture.

its a personal jibe at a person on the thread.
while you are at it......do you wear BDU's? are you hot? send me a picture.

1. BDU = Battle Dress Uniforms?!? Of course: Q'apla!

2. Think so - are you female? Are you hot?

3. Ladies first! :D

And I had to look up jibe as well... ;)

(btw, I like your profile)

I think that all the polls would show the Democrat winning by 10% or more, with the exit polls backing it up- but the Republican candidate will 'mysteriously' win in the actual count...


You are assuming that the majority of the Country actually votes for the democrats no a days. I on the other hand believe that the exit polls, as by their own account, were flawed. They sampled to many single women and minorities who tradionally vote Democrat. The poll is only as good as the people taking it, and if they are afraid to actually do a decent poll sample of the population. Then it goes without saying you are going to get skewed results. You should really get on with your life and realize there was no "Stealing" of elections. The American people are rejecting the Democrats like a body rejects a bad transplant.

I would love to see Rice vs. Clinton in 2008. It would be nice to see the Democrat show their true colors on what they really think of minorities. You all know that the Democrat party was established to keep the white man in power right? That is why they fought so hard to keep Blacks and Women from being able to vote. Also probably why a majority of them have been in the KKK but blame the republicans for being racist bigots. Oh how do I hope Rice runs and Clinton runs. How nice would it be for the Democrats put a few more nails in their coffin.