NationStates Jolt Archive

Is anyone else into the whole "True Love Waits" promise ring idea? I was just wondering how many others out there struggle with the same things I do.

Firstly, thread is in wrong place.
Secondly, you haven't explained what you are struggling with.
Thirdly...Gawd gave you lust, and a way to express it. Celebrate your humanity!

I was just wondering if there were any others out there that were into the whole silver promise ring that says "True Love Waits" or simply into the TLW idea itself.

I was just wondering if there were any others out there that were into the whole silver promise ring that says "True Love Waits" or simply into the TLW idea itself.

Explain it to me, so I can tell you why it is wrong.

Thanks.

True Love Waits-- the idea that somewhere out there awaits you the person you are supposed to be with. The whole idea is to put childish thoughts aside and strive to be pure and wait until that person is brought into your life. Real (true) affection (love) will WAIT until they find that special person to experience the bliss of marriage.

True Love Waits-- the idea that somewhere out there awaits you the person you are supposed to be with. The whole idea is to put childish thoughts aside and strive to be pure and wait until that person is brought into your life. Real (true) affection (love) will WAIT until they find that special person to experience the bliss of marriage.


Yeah, well I would wait to get married too. It's not something you should rush into. But make sure you have sex with plenty of different people first so you know what you're doing when you get hitched.

I uh... don't think you should have sex with a ton of people. Then it's not so special when you get married.

I think promise rings are stupid. You should however wait to get married. Nothing annoys me more than people my age getting married. People should wait until they're at least 24. There's no need to be in a rush.

Go have lots of responsible sex before marriage. Don't wait to get hitched. That's just silly.

I uh... don't think you should have sex with a ton of people. Then it's not so special when you get married.
it's not? well shit. i've screwed myself. oh wait, no, i screwed other people. that's the problem. dammit.

I uh... don't think you should have sex with a ton of people. Then it's not so special when you get married.

It's the other way around. If you a virgin when you get married, you won't know what you're doing, so it certainly won't be special.

If, on the other hand, you have some experience and know what's what, then the chances are you'll have a pretty good sex-life.

Anyway, how are you going to know if the sex will be good if you don't try it out first? And if you haven't slept around a bit before you get married, what are you comparing it to?

In conclusion, the TLW, thing is silly.

it's not? well shit. i've screwed myself. oh wait, no, i screwed other people. that's the problem. dammit.


Mmmmmk....?

lol

True Love Waits-- the idea that somewhere out there awaits you the person you are supposed to be with. The whole idea is to put childish thoughts aside and strive to be pure and wait until that person is brought into your life. Real (true) affection (love) will WAIT until they find that special person to experience the bliss of marriage.

The whole premise is faulty. I have been in love numerous times, usually with women from my own area. Amazing how thats the way it works for most of us. If there WAS only that one "special person" , what are the chances you'll actually find her in a world with over 6 Billion people?

There is NO one special soul for you, or anyone. Let me drop you on the island of smelly, homely chicks, and I guarantee you'll be in love within 6 months. You CHOOSE to love.

The whole premise is faulty. I have been in love numerous times, usually with women from my own area. Amazing how thats the way it works for most of us. If there WAS only that one "special person" , what are the chances you'll actually find her in a world with over 6 Billion people?

There is NO one special soul for you, or anyone. Let me drop you on the island of smelly, homely chicks, and I guarantee you'll be in love within 6 months. You CHOOSE to love.

I uh... kinda like guys not chicks... so i'd bet i wouldn't be in love.

I uh... kinda like guys not chicks... so i'd bet i wouldn't be in love.
Ummm I don't think that was Sir/Madam Gawdly's point.

I uh... kinda like guys not chicks... so i'd bet i wouldn't be in love.

I'd take that bet.

If you are capable of loving, then you will love, gender differences aside.

You guys, I suppose, maybe right... however... I have a strong belief/hope/faith that keeps me going day after day that somewhere out there ius "prince charming"

This TWL thing, IMO, is crap. Not having sex before marriage is a personal choice, and it's definitely not a good thing to rush into sex. *However*, in my experience, promise rings like these are often pushed on teens by their parents. In studies done of teens who took virginity pledges, it was found that they had no less sex than teens who hadn't, and that they had higher rates of pregnancy and STDs.

You guys, I suppose, maybe right... however... I have a strong belief/hope/faith that keeps me going day after day that somewhere out there ius "prince charming"

Why 'wait' though. I doubt prince charming will.

On a larger note, most people I know who have been in long term relationships (15 years plus), well tell you that sex is only a small part of what makes a long lasting relationship possible. (In fact I guy in my neighborhood who has been married for like a billion years - WWII vet - attributes the sucess of his marriage to the fact that he and his wife argue everyday).

It seems all romantic and bride magazine now, but when it comes to taxes and mortgages ten years from now, probably the last on your mind will be whether or not either of you 'waited' for the right person.

Added to that, if you wait to get married, you'll probably rush into it moreso. That's never a good idea. You know what they say, marry in haste.....

see here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1246902,00.html

True Love Waits-- the idea that somewhere out there awaits you the person you are supposed to be with. The whole idea is to put childish thoughts aside and strive to be pure and wait until that person is brought into your life. Real (true) affection (love) will WAIT until they find that special person to experience the bliss of marriage.
lol

THE BLISS OF MARRIAGE

theres whats wrong with it right there.

imagine a young man or woman, taking this pledge at say....14 and keeping it until they find their one true love, say at age 30

they abstain from the pleasures of the flesh for 16 years to wait for the BLISS OF MARRIAGE.

its gotta be a huge let down. most marriages end in divorce, what are the chances of a life of BLISS?

better in my mind to abstain from meaningless sex altogether, to wait until one is out of highschool before engaging in activities that might result in pregnancy, always use condoms for ANY kind of sexual activity, and make mature adult decisions about sex when one IS old enough to make them.

Duplicate thread. iMerge.

--The Modified Democratic States of Cogitation

I don't like this whole movement, mainly because its anti sex education in its onset, which is never a good thing, I just don’t like the idea of right wing youth organisations.

i'm not anti sex ed... just anti... premarital sex

i'm not anti sex ed... just anti... premarital sex

No, but the Silver Ring Thing campaign received $700,000 from the Bush administration, favouring "virginity training" in place of information about contraception. As in, if they pledge not to have sex, they have no reason to know about it, do they?

That's silly. You don't need any training to be a virgin.

I think abstinence should be taught more in schools with sex ed

i believe love is more sacred than sex, and that one cannot fully and honestly commit to love another person for a lifetime unless every effort has been made to know that complete person...including their sexual self. to me, remaining a virgin until after marriage is dishonorable and wrong. but, on the other hand, it's none of my business how other people want to set their priorities, so long as they aren't forcing me to live by those priorities.

I think abstinence should be taught more in schools with sex edAbstinence shouldn't be taught. I'm all for it being recommended to the kids since they really shouldn't be jumping in bed at their age but you can't stop them. What needs to go on is a frank discussion of sex and what might happen if you do have it and how to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Abstinence only/mostly education is impractical and has already failed.

You know I started this wanting to find other people who were doing the whole "true love waits" thing... and yet only people who aren't into have posted... dang

You know I started this wanting to find other people who were doing the whole "true love waits" thing... and yet only people who aren't into have posted... dang
maybe that says something. a great many people feel that it's inappropriate to define love by when you choose have sex.

First advice for you: Don't seek advice in this forum. Second advice for you: don't expect the Commentary section of the Guardian to be an unbiased source of information.

As for advice on actually "holding out until marriage", don't grit your teeth and try to hold back your hormones through sheer force of will. That's a recipe for failure. Go out, serve God, make friends, live your life. Get to know people. Be selective about who you allow yourself to be "yoked" with, but get to know people. Don't rush into things just to scratch an itch, it ain't worth it. Learn to appreciate the way God made you, and don't seek a "Prince Charming" to fulfill you, 'cause he can't.

Yea I guess. But hey... everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. and I am tired of going through meaningless relationships... i want one good one.

I heard on the local news maybe a month ago that a local high school was talking to the kids about marriage and was trying to give them a realistic view of what it's going to be like. It was mentioned that they started doing this because so many people here get married right around age 20 which is only 2 years after high school. We need something like this in more schools. It would help our ridiculously high divorce rate if these 20 year olds didn't have idealistic ideas of what marriage is.

Yea I guess. But hey... everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. and I am tired of going through meaningless relationships... i want one good one.

My personal opinion is that the "True Love Waits" campaign has a good aim, but I don't think that the campaign, a one time event, is a good way to go about it.

If you want a good relationship, don't settle. Learn to like who you are without any romantic relationship. Not only will it improve your menatl/emotional/spiritual health, but quality men find that really attractive.

I heard on the local news maybe a month ago that a local high school was talking to the kids about marriage and was trying to give them a realistic view of what it's going to be like. It was mentioned that they started doing this because so many people here get married right around age 20 which is only 2 years after high school. We need something like this in more schools. It would help our ridiculously high divorce rate if these 20 year olds didn't have idealistic ideas of what marriage is.

Good for them. I believe the biggest contributor to high divorce rates is our society's ridiculously idealized view of marriage. Too many have this notion that the perfect man or woman will come along and fulfill all their needs and that once they're married they'll never have to do anything to make the relationship work. The relationship eventually becomes all about "me me me", so no wonder people want out. It's actually a very selfish view of marriage, and unfortunately it is particularly pervasive in the church.

You know I started this wanting to find other people who were doing the whole "true love waits" thing... and yet only people who aren't into have posted... dang

Not many people are of the religious right on this forum thats why.

NOt having sex should be taught as being the most effective tool against pregancy and STDs but not teaching about how not to get pregnant if you do infact have sex is fucking retarded. People will have sex.

I suggest wating till you are about 18 to get laid. Then you are at least fairly mature. Waiting until you are 24 or 25 to get married is fucking nuts :rolleyes:

Hey... I envision that perfect person being out there. But I hope that my marriage will be a marriage based on firstly the love for God, and secondly the love for one another.

My personal opinion is that the "True Love Waits" campaign has a good aim, but I don't think that the campaign, a one time event, is a good way to go about it.

If you want a good relationship, don't settle. Learn to like who you are without any romantic relationship. Not only will it improve your menatl/emotional/spiritual health, but quality men find that really attractive.

Ummm no, high quality men will think you are not looking for a relationship and switch you to the "just a friend" catagory.

Hey... I envision that perfect person being out there. But I hope that my marriage will be a marriage based on firstly the love for God, and secondly the love for one another.


WOW, heres to hoping my wife loves me more than her love for church...

No one else has a problem with right wing fundamentalists sneaking in the back door then.

*shrugs* I was always taught in church that God wants us to love him above all... because through our love for him, we love others with his love.

Marriage should be a triangle....


God


Husband Wife

As they move closer to God... they move closer to each other. That's what i want.

No one else has a problem with right wing fundamentalists sneaking in the back door then.

I though 'sneaking in the back door' was a guaranteed constiutional right? (See Lawrence v. Texas).

If that's what they want to do, it's their private lives.

I though 'sneaking in the back door' was a guaranteed constiutional right? (See Lawrence v. Texas).

If that's what they want to do, it's their private lives.

It's not really in a missionary religions nature to stop there though is it?

Ummm no, high quality men will think you are not looking for a relationship and switch you to the "just a friend" catagory.

If you absolutely don't want a relationship, then no. But if woman likes herself as a single, doesn't settle, but is open to a relationship, then men will be attracted. Trust me, I have a fairly good idea what a mature Christian man is into..;-)

Yea I guess. But hey... everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. and I am tired of going through meaningless relationships... i want one good one.

Darlin'...yer but a child yet. Patience. You'll have many "good ones" in the future...

It's not really in a missionary religions nature to stop there though is it?

Most people use doggie, not missionary for that, but I suppose the missionary ones can do it too.

Why wouldn't you stop there though, at that point you've pretty much exhausted all the options.

Hey... I envision that perfect person being out there. But I hope that my marriage will be a marriage based on firstly the love for God, and secondly the love for one another.

That perfect person ain't out there. No one is perfect, though quality is certainly out there. It's never going to be perfect. Relationships get messy, though they can be worthwhile if the two aren't being co-dependent nitwits.

...a threesome with Gawd ain't my idea of a good time.

Now, me and the Olsen Twins....

...a threesome with Gawd ain't my idea of a good time.

Now, me and the Olsen Twins....
I'm liking you more and more...

I'm liking you more and more...

*winks at the Tree-Rodent Testicles*

The feeling is mutual, bud.

*winks at the Tree-Rodent Testicles*

The feeling is mutual, bud.
haha how do you know that nuts is meant to signify testicles? What if I'm talking about acorns? Now I have to go to school. I'll be back on in about 30 minutes. Oh yes and you can call me Senor Slappy Ass.

Wait for love, not marriage

Ive never kissed a guy... i'm waiting till i get married

Ive never kissed a guy... i'm waiting till i get married

Stop!

That's just ridiculous now.

not ridiculous... a fact

not ridiculous... a fact

Even the Amish don't wait for marriage to kiss.

(In fact the only time I've ever heard of anything like this was to do with ultra-conservative jews).

Ive never kissed a guy... i'm waiting till i get married

Considering you're a female, here's my suggestion: Go on, kiss the guys, it's not like a baby's gonna pop outta your mouth or something. When you kiss, enjoy it for what it is.

As for your sexual life, that's up to you. If I may ask, how old are you?

I'll be 16 in 6 days... so i'm pretty young.

I'll be 16 in 6 days... so i'm pretty young.Oh wow okay. When you said you hadn't kissed a boy I nearly flipped but you're only 15 so I'll let that pass. Don't wait until marriage on that. Really. It's not a good idea. Reading what you have to say makes me feel like a dirty whore. I got my first kiss at 12.

Well.. opportunities have come up... but something happens and i don't go through with it.

I'll be 16 in 6 days... so i'm pretty young.

You are way to young to be worrying about things like lifetime commitments, marriage &ct.

Go be a kid still for a bit.

As the others said, go enjoy being a kid. Trust me, once you get out in the real world, you'll wish to be back in those old days when good old mom and dad took care of the bills, took care of the problems the world throws at you on a day by day basis.

FYI, I got my first kiss about your age, so you're right on track. Don't worry, things will work out for you. I used to think like you, then I snapped to reality. As the saying goes, learn to appreciate yourself, and you'll attract the right people for you. If you choose to abstain from sexual relations, then good for you, it shows you're willing to make adult decisions about such a situation, and only gives you respect in my eyes. Keep it up.

...a threesome with Gawd ain't my idea of a good time.

Now, me and the Olsen Twins....
Bah, the evil Barbie clones? Dont they sell taste where you live? ;)

On topic: What if one never finds his true love? I am 34 now and had some nice relationships over the years. But the only one that really grew strongly on me decided i wasnt Mr. Right. What if i had married her in the time we both were deeply in love? It wasnt like we are talking flirtatious teenies here, but mature people. Still the rose-tinted glasses were there, i still would like her to be the mother of my children, but some switch inside her flipped and that was it. Looking back, id say that with every single relationship i had i learned something that will become valuable in a marriage someday. I am still on amicable turns with every single ex and didnt hurt anyones feelings in a enduring way. So, please give me a single, rational reason to wait, till my death if i am unlucky, and stay celibate instead of picking up some inter-relationship communication and marital skills till the person come along you want to grow old with. And before you rush it, being taught so by the minister isnt considered rational in my book.

Most people use doggie, not missionary for that, but I suppose the missionary ones can do it too.

Why wouldn't you stop there though, at that point you've pretty much exhausted all the options.

what.... no..... that's not what i meant

pfft meh!