NationStates Jolt Archive

To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."

Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.

2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.

3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.

5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of North America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.

7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).

12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

its not so funny the fourth time you see it.

IS there one for US claiming the former British colony of Australia?

;)

*Thumbs' down*

Unlike Australia, the Queen does not have that right concerning America.

But that Shire rule kicks ass. Nebraskashire, Californiashire, Orgeonshire. It's awesome. We should do that.

This was (supposedly) written by John Cleese, but I could never verify it.

Yeah, because Blair is such an improvement on Bush.

Oh wait... Blair practically is Bush.

This was (supposedly) written by John Cleese, but I could never verify it. http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/government/a/revocation_a.htm
It has been studied :)
It was quite amusing when I first saw it... but 4 years later... it's not so much so.

The American responses on that site are funny too.

its not so funny the fourth time you see it.

Only fourth? :(

It's always fun to see people shout about how many times they have seen it and thus are superior to the person who has seen it for the first time and merely wishes to offer others their first time too.
It is also funny to see Americans respond to it. Can't you guys take a joke?
God, you gave the world Bill Hicks surely you must be able to...

Only fourth? :(
yup, I'm just lucky I guess.

Scotsnations: how many times until the idiotic stereotype about Scots squeezing a penny until it screams for mercy is no longer funny?

Or jokes that characterize members of ethnic group X of being drunk, or infamously stupid, etc etc?

Lay it to rest already.

It's always fun to see people shout about how many times they have seen it and thus are superior to the person who has seen it for the first time and merely wishes to offer others their first time too.
It's a longstanding tradition online that one must never admit to liking something that has been around for more then 1 hour. The more disdain you can insert into a reply about something that's been around for 4 years, the more l33t you are.

I thought I'd go ahead and, just to be a dick, actually answer this. :D


1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."

I looked it up. It's spelled "Aluminum". No "i" between the "n" and the "u". Funny, that. "Wrongly" is bad English. We didn't remove the "u" in words such as "favor" or "neighbor", you added them.


Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.

So we should replace it with something like "caw blimey" or whatever? If you actually believe the Jerry Springer show should stay on television, censored or not, then I want no part of your country.

2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.

Actually, there is. We didn't create it. You did.

3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.

This is just grasping at straws. Tell you what, though, when British actors who slap on an American accent to do a movie learn the difference between a Georgia drawl and a Texas drawl we'll talk.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.

That was never our national anthem. Thanks for playing, though. However, by HR-302, the "u" was removed from Queen.

5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.

Tell you what. You send your best soccer team to match up on the field with our best football team and then we'll talk.

You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of North America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

It's not our fault that you've chosen not to develop a baseball team (incidently, they're not "teams", they're "clubs"). So long as the US and Canada are the only countries to host baseball clubs, we can rightfully say that the US and Canada make up the baseball world. Hence, the term "World Series" stays. If you'd like to be part of this world, go ahead. If not, shut yer gob and go play cricket.

6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.

Right.

7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

What's the significance of November 2nd? Election day is the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November every 2 years. It doesn't always fall on the 2nd. Strange that you wouldn't know this since you're claiming to be so worldly and all. Whatever.

8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

American cars banned, eh? Still jealous about that Corvette, I suppose. That's ok. We forgive you. British sense of humor, right. Like I can't ask the average 8 year old to explain Benny Hill if I just "don't get it". *coff* Let's not forget, kids, that Terry Gilliam is an American.

9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

They're called "French Fries" because they are, in fact, "French-cut fried potatos". It has nothing to do with the country of origin. What you're calling "chips", we call "steak fries". Most Americans prefer "steak fries".

10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

Learn a little bit about beer and we'll talk.

11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).

Yeah. I think I'll stick with my $2 per gallon thanks.

12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

What can I say? When you're the richest, most powerful nation the world has ever seen, you get bored. When we get bored we shoot things, sue someone, or invade someone. Take your pick.

13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

All of us did in our own special ways.

14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Right.

Well that was fun and pointless. :D

I guess I'm pretty l33t then. I assure you Wardtonia, I for one didn't mean to be disdainful. The 'letter' is still as well written as it was 4 years ago. It's just that the context is gone.
And anyways... I was just replying to Plutophopia's John Cleese post. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Aluminium is being written as it is world-wide being written - Aluminium. It's a latin-based word, thus the -ium ending, which is quite common for elements. In fact, an American inventor misspelled it on one of his advertisement papers and since then it has been spelled "Aluminum" in the US. It's however incorrect spelling, since also the international chemists community has long ago determined that the element shall be called "Aluminium". The US are thus, wrong. :p

Do you really pronounce it "al-u-mi-ni-um" then, with the extra syllable? I've actually never heard that, and no, I haven't spent my whole life in the US.

It's a longstanding tradition online that one must never admit to liking something that has been around for more then 1 hour. The more disdain you can insert into a reply about something that's been around for 4 years, the more l33t you are.


Explaining why I put 'old' in most threads like this.


btw, this is old.

Do you really pronounce it "al-u-mi-ni-um" then, with the extra syllable? I've actually never heard that, and no, I haven't spent my whole life in the US.
Yes.

Just check out this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aluminium


Spelling

The official IUPAC spelling of the element is aluminium; however, Americans and Canadians generally spell and pronounce it aluminum.

In 1808, Humphry Davy originally proposed the name alumium whilst trying to electrolytically isolate the new metal from the mineral alumina. A couple of years later he changed the name to aluminum to match its Latin root, but was finally persuaded to restore the -ium ending in 1812 giving aluminium. This had the advantage of conforming to the -ium suffix precedent set by other newly discovered elements of the period potassium, sodium, magnesium, calcium, and strontium (all of which Davy had isolated himself). However, for the next thirty years, both the -um and -ium endings were used in the scientific literature.

Curiously America adopted the -ium for most of the 19th century with aluminium appearing in Webster's Dictionary of 1828. However Charles Martin Hall selected the -um spelling in an advertising handbill for his new efficient electrolytic method for the production of aluminium, four years after he had patented the process in 1888. Although this spelling may have been an accident, Hall's domination of aluminium production ensured that the -um ending became the standard in North America, even though the Webster Unabridged Dictionary of 1913 continued to use the -ium version. In 1926 the American Chemical Society decided officially to use aluminum in its publications.

Meanwhile most of Europe had standardised on the -ium spelling. In 1990 the IUPAC adopted aluminium as the standard international name for the element. Aluminium is also the name used in French, Dutch, German, Danish, Norwegian, and Swedish; Italian uses alluminio, Portuguese alumínio and Spanish aluminio. (The use of these words in these other languages is one of the reasons IUPAC chose aluminium over aluminum.) In 1993, IUPAC recognized aluminum as an acceptable variant, but still prefers the use of aluminium.

We Americans are never wrong! I'll prove it! Look at my sig!!!!!


:p :D :p

We love the rest of you "foreigners" anyhow. You know, like everyone outside of NY, NY. :fluffle:


;)



ACK!


Katganistan: take 50 lashes with a wet noodle for smilie spam! -- Kat

Ein Deutscher']Yes.
Seriously? What syllable is stressed? The second (like I say it, which makes it sound awkward to add the i) or the i?

We didn't remove the "u" in words such as "favor" or "neighbor", you added them.


Eh, no. Unless you were joking? American English was born of an attempt to simplify the language.


But enough examples are given here to reveal a number of definite tendencies. American, in general, moves toward simplified forms of spelling more rapidly than English, and has got much further along the road. Redundant and unnecessary letters have been dropped from whole groups of words, simple vowels have been substituted for degenerated diphthongs, simple consonants have displaced compound ones, and vowels have been changed to bring words into harmony with their analogues, as in tire, cider and baritone (cf. wire, rider, merriment). Clarity and simplicity are served by substituting ct for x in such words as connection and inflection, and s for c in words of the defense group. The superiority of jail to gaol is made manifest by the common mispronunciation of the latter by Americans who find it in print, making it rhyme with coal.

Seriously? What syllable is stressed? The second (like I say it, which makes it sound awkward to add the i) or the i?
Read my edit above. You make it sound as if the -ium ending with elements is something unusual :rolleyes:

The US-made dictionaries naturally use "aluminum" as their standard spelling. However they also contain the normal international version of the word:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=aluminium

My Oxford Advanced Learner's (British) Dictionary uses "aluminium".

Ein Deutscher']Aluminium is being written as it is world-wide being written - Aluminium. It's a latin-based word, thus the -ium ending

So the common Latin word "Sum" (I am), should be "Sium"? :eek:

"um" is the suffix, not "ium". :p

So the common Latin word "Sum" (I am), should be "Sium"? :eek:

"um" is the suffix, not "ium". :p
For elements (read the Wiki entry) the common ending is -ium.

Shocker! I read the first US response on urbanlegends and it wasn't as shit as I expected.

the second wasn't either. They actually took the joke and continued with it rather than throwing around the 'we could n00k j00 to death1!' bit. I guess I've been on forums too long and expect Americans to take everything deadly seriously :(

Shocker! I read the first US response on urbanlegends and it wasn't as shit as I expected.

the second wasn't either. They actually took the joke and continued with it rather than throwing around the 'we could n00k j00 to death1!' bit. I guess I've been on forums too long and expect Americans to take everything deadly seriously :(
I don't think you're taking this seriously enough. We so will n00k j00.....

Shocker! I read the first US response on urbanlegends and it wasn't as shit as I expected.

the second wasn't either. They actually took the joke and continued with it rather than throwing around the 'we could n00k j00 to death1!' bit. I guess I've been on forums too long and expect Americans to take everything deadly seriously :( :D
For some reason, the ending of the second one reminded me of NS general threads...

I don't think you're taking this seriously enough. We so will n00k j00.....

Ha! 97.8% of Americans probably couldn't find us on a map.

Ein Deutscher']For elements (read the Wiki entry) the common ending is -ium.

That explains Oxygen!

Anyway, the guy who "discovered" it spelled it "Aluminum" and I'm thinkin' his opinion matters more. It's like the people who wanted Beethoven to change his music to fit in with the fashion of the times.

Ha! 97.8% of Americans probably couldn't find us on a map.

Hah! The French know how to bomb you though! :D

Ha! 97.8% of Americans probably couldn't find us on a map.
Well, you must admit "Over there" is a bit hard to find for even the most educated person...

Ha! 97.8% of Americans probably couldn't find us on a map.

Well it's not so easy! All tucked away down there ...

That explains Oxygen!

Anyway, the guy who "discovered" it spelled it "Aluminum" and I'm thinkin' his opinion matters more. It's like the people who wanted Beethoven to change his music to fit in with the fashion of the times.


Brilliant! I googled oxygenium, and at the top of the list was a travel agency in Croatia.

Hee, I just love the way everyone gets so riled up every time this thing is posted.

Brilliant! I googled oxygenium, and at the top of the list was a travel agency in Croatia.

:D

Brilliant! I googled oxygenium, and at the top of the list was a travel agency in Croatia.
'oxygium' would make more sense in the context. Which only gets two results in google, neither of which make much sense.

Well it's not so easy! All tucked away down there ...

The Taliban diplomat to Pakistan had never heard of New Zealand when a reporter asked us if we were in any danger of a terrorist attack for supporting the invasion of Afghanistan. Since then (and since Hamas thanked us for arresting suspected Isreali spies) we have felt safe from Terroist attacks. After a long search, the US found a group more ignorent than themselves and blew the crap out of them :p (and rightfully so)

'oxygium' would make more sense in the context. Which only gets two results in google, neither of which make much sense.
Well not all elements have the -ium ending, but a lot: calcium, magnesium, strontium, radium, etc.

You're being ridiculous with your examples... :headbang:

Ein Deutscher']Well not all elements have the -ium ending, but a lot: calcium, magnesium, strontium, radium, etc.

You're being ridiculous with your examples... :headbang:

A lot of the elements at the ass end off the list do, if I remember my science class at school correctly.

As long as we're going to recycle jokes forever...

Paris - French Prime Minister Jacques Chirac, in honor of France's agreement with Germany to undermine America's efforts in the War on Terror, took German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder on a tour of sites in the French capital city that were visited by another German Chancellor, Adolf Hitler, during his famous Victory Tour of 1940.

"It's so nice to be collaborating with the Germans again," said Chirac during a press conference at the Versailles Palace outside of Paris. "I mean, it's not like there was any real resistance movement when Germany ruled us during World War II. And those black leather coats the Gestapo men wore. Simply to die for."

Most French citizens this reporter spoke with expressed their delight at being able to collaborate once again with the Germans. A recent poll conducted by the newspaper Le Figaro showed that 95.6% of all French people are hoping to be re-occupied by Germany within the next 12 months. The poll results also reveal that the vast majority of French women are especially looking forward to becoming the mistresses of German officers so that they can have sado-masochistic sex in exchange for silk stockings and extra rations.

"Damn those Americans anyway," said Chirac during a visit with Schroeder to the Klaus Barbie L'Ecole Superieure du Behaviour Criminale. "Everything was going along just fine in 1944 and what did they go and do? Land at Normandy. Just like the Yanks, always butting their noses into other people's business. Well, we aren't going to take it lying down any more. This time we're going to surrender to Germany before the Germans have a chance to invade."

Scotsnations: how many times until the idiotic stereotype about Scots squeezing a penny until it screams for mercy is no longer funny?

Or jokes that characterize members of ethnic group X of being drunk, or infamously stupid, etc etc?

Lay it to rest already.


Yeah- it is funny, especially when I ALWAYS picture ALL scots to look and act like "Groundkeeper Willie" on the Simpsons. Man-they really hit that nail on the head.

-snip-

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/lachen/laughing-smiley-003.gif

Ha! 97.8% of Americans probably couldn't find us on a map.


Thats assuming 97.8 % even gave a flying crap.

We have a winner.



I refer you back to my 'Americans taking everything seriously' point. Play along with the thread, you might actually enjoy it..

Great i tried to bring a smile to people and of course there has to be the ones that have to point out ...oh i've seen that 4 times already...BIG DEAL..maybe some people haven't seen it...IT'S A JOKE PEOPLE!!!! if you can't laugh at yourself or your country then i feel sorry for you..I've taken note of the ones whom have a problem with me posting something that they have seen before and God forbid if you ever post something that i have previously seen! My friend was right about this site...seems like there are a bunch of kids out here.

Eh, no. Unless you were joking? American English was born of an attempt to simplify the language.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they did/are doing it to piss off the People in the U.K. :rolleyes:

And look how well it's WORKING! :D

MY interest lies in where they believe they hold some "patent" on Language, especially the English Language as Adopted by the United States of America?

Regards,
Gaar

Actually, what the Brits know as "American English" is closer to its 1700s English roots, otherwise known as when everybody spoke the same English. The British variant has evolved a great deal where spellings and pronounciations are concerned, why I don't pretend to understand, but it has.

gah, not this again!

List of Hatred:
-French Military Victories Thing
-Queen Reclaiming US Thing
-US Presidential IQ Thing
-State by State IQ Things (Yes, there's one out there that claims to show redstates with higher IQs, thus we have multiples of this evil trend)
-Things like these Things

gah, not this again!

List of Hatred:
-French Military Victories Thing
-Queen Reclaiming US Thing
-US Presidential IQ Thing
-State by State IQ Things (Yes, there's one out there that claims to show redstates with higher IQs, thus we have multiples of this evil trend)
-Things like these Things

You thingist you. How dare you be so prejudiced against things that even things that are like things are hated by you.

Keruvalia, your post to 'be a dick' was so hot.

HA! HA! HA!, Now that's a laugher there, the UK reclaiming the United States, man, whoever did this out to do stand-up, but in all seriousness, with our technology and our military might, the US could turn Britain into the world's largest parking lot.

HA! HA! HA!, Now that's a laugher there, the UK reclaiming the United States, man, whoever did this out to do stand-up, but in all seriousness, with our technology and our military might, the US could turn Britain into the world's largest parking lot.

Too late, we already have the M25.

What my English teacher might say:
This joke exposes in a witty, satirical way the differences between American and British culture and is highly symbolic of those differences. Additionally, it is an example of freedom of speech being used as a means to jest about such differences, without resorting to violence.
What I say: Hahahahahahahahahaha.
P.S. Don't take it personally people. Everyone knows the US has many, many nukes. That's why people make fun of them instead of shooting at them.

You thingist you. How dare you be so prejudiced against things that even things that are like things are hated by you.
It's just a personal hurdle I have not yet overcome. *shrugs*

First: HA HA HA HA (honest laughter)

Second (as was already pointed out):

Eh, no. Unless you were joking? American English was born of an attempt to simplify the language.

This is quite wrong. First, English had mostly finished the simplification trend before American and British English diverged. English had already lost gender except for a few things like ships and countries, and of course things that actually have gender. The elaborate system of cases, at one time nearly as complicated as in Latin, was reduced to essentially its current system, and had mostly reduced the number of second person pronouns down to three (you, your, yours) from the previous full complement differentiated by number, social rank (familiarity), as well as case.


Second, the most notable difference in pronunciation, (the vowel a) was a deliberate change to the language championed my an aristocratic Englishwoman who found the short 'a' sound to be the most unpleasant sound in any language. Thus it was removed, and replaced by a long 'a' sound, so that to American ears an English cat sounds like a cot. This change in pronunciation spread raipidly throughout England, but was ignored in the American colonies, except Boston, where many people desperately wanted to keep up with British culture. Thus today the English spoken in the midwest (eg. northern Ohio, Michigan, Indiana etc.) is (IN PRONOUNCIATION) nearly the same as the English spoken by Shakespear, while the english spoken in england is not.

I will admit that we did simplify English some-- by standardizing spellings. We could have gone further, you know. President Roosevelt suggested simplifying spellings to remove phonetic oddities. Only a few of his proposals stuck though, and so one occasionally finds lite or donut.

Lastly, there are rather legitamate claims that the US still owned by the Queen, but it is also the case that every monarch of England since William and Mary has been unlawfully sitting on the throne because King John (the one that signed the Magna Carta) entered into a perpetual contract with the Holy See giving the lands of Enland and Ireland to the Vatican, swearing allegiance to the Pope, and declaring that should any monarch abondon the Catholic faith, the lands of England and Ireland shall be returned to the Vatican and that monarch imediatley forfits the crown. Furthermore the Bill of Rights that established William and Mary as coregants and declaring that all monarchs be members of the Church of England, is just that, a BILL, as it was not signed by the reigning monarch and thus is not law.

Preach it, Platynor!

Lastly, there are rather legitamate claims that the US still owned by the Queen, but it is also the case that every monarch of England since William and Mary has been unlawfully sitting on the throne because King John (the one that signed the Magna Carta) entered into a perpetual contract with the Holy See giving the lands of Enland and Ireland to the Vatican, swearing allegiance to the Pope, and declaring that should any monarch abondon the Catholic faith, the lands of England and Ireland shall be returned to the Vatican and that monarch imediatley forfits the crown. Furthermore the Bill of Rights that established William and Mary as coregants and declaring that all monarchs be members of the Church of England, is just that, a BILL, as it was not signed by the reigning monarch and thus is not law.

Not to mention that the royal family are decended from germans. They came over in the 1700's when Queen Ann dies with no heir, their real name was Saxe Coburg, changed to Windsor during (or maybe just before) WW1.

Not to mention that the royal family are decended from germans. They came over in the 1700's when Queen Ann dies with no heir, their real name was Saxe Coburg, changed to Windsor during (or maybe just before) WW1.

Never trust those Saxen Coburgs, they've taken belgium too

Never trust those Saxen Coburgs, they've taken belgium too

OH NO! Have we just uncovered a global conspiricy? :eek:

*announcer voice*

A conspiracy of MASSIVE proportions!