NationStates Jolt Archive

Come on people, I know you've drempt of it. I know that, at least once, you said, "If only I was a god, then I could do...". Everyone wishes that they held supreme power, even if they didn't show it. Tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses? Throw them into the Sun. Angry at the President for screwing up your country? Turn him into a cow, eat him, then become President yourself. Tired of your boring, bland life? Then go to the flyin Island of Mandango where all you do is drink wine and have steaming hot sex.

So, what would you do?

(Oh, and if you guys get bored of fantasizing, you can always check out Black and White (http://bw2.lionhead.com/bw2/). Or, if you're more patient, wait for Black and White 2 to come out this fall.)

Ashton Kutcher, I guess...

(OKay, now that that joke's out of the way...)I'd probably end up being a petty, power-obsessed deity who did very little to interfere with life in general, except tiny, direct attempts to make my life easier, maybe create a couple of fappers/worshippers. Just like most supreme deities we've come up with, no better than an average man.

kill everyone and start over. Maybe this time they'll get it right.

I'll tell everyone that religion is bullshit.

I'd smite Florida and move on from there...

control the entire universe and beyond at my will

I would teach the sheep the meaning of fear...then retire to France.

Keep that pretzel there a little bit longer...

Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea

If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God

You mean... Im not... a god?

oh crap... this is going to take years of therapy...

I'd have to agree with BLAIRgistania. I would start with a clean slate. I would definitely rewrite history. There would be no Adam and Eve. More woman would lead the world, if not all women. :p

Worldwide propaganda would educate people to accept other species as our brothers.

People would not have last names. They would just have three names, having no particular relation to anyone.

People would accept they have a duty to the world and that they do not bore children but fellow humans that they must *guide* through the world. :)

Keep that pretzel there a little bit longer...

Good idea!

I'll tell everyone that religion is bullshit.

and then abolish myself

Come on people, I know you've drempt of it. I know that, at least once, you said, "If only I was a god, then I could do...". Everyone wishes that they held supreme power, even if they didn't show it. Tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses? Throw them into the Sun. Angry at the President for screwing up your country? Turn him into a cow, eat him, then become President yourself. Tired of your boring, bland life? Then go to the flyin Island of Mandango where all you do is drink wine and have steaming hot sex.

So, what would you do?

(Oh, and if you guys get bored of fantasizing, you can always check out Black and White (http://bw2.lionhead.com/bw2/). Or, if you're more patient, wait for Black and White 2 to come out this fall.)
A better job then the biblical one :D

Anyways I have black and white :-D ... also have fable by same creator :) that is a good game too

Get pissed.

Get pissed.

Destroy!!!

Believe me. You will all know when I become a god.

The changes won't be hard to spot. :)

Believe me. You will all know when I become a god.

The changes won't be hard to spot. :)
Hot, naked, female traffic police on every intersection? :eek:

LG you sly dog you!! Genius! Pure Genius!!

I'd probably get started on the whole "end of the Universe" thing a bit early...

...no sense in dragging things out.

The Universe has had a good run. :p

Come on people, I know you've drempt of it. I know that, at least once, you said, "If only I was a god, then I could do...". Everyone wishes that they held supreme power, even if they didn't show it. Tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses? Throw them into the Sun. Angry at >>>>>>>>>>snip<<<<<<<<<<
hop in the sack with Thor. he was simply AWESOME.

I would create the world in one day. Leave evidence that it wasn't created by me and instead created by a wacky mechanism called evolution. Trick people into thinking there is no supernatural, that I hate anyone who doesn't do exactly what I say. Oh yeah, I would make sure none of my angels rebelled against me. Then there would be no hell, just a hades and death, and my pal Jesus would take care of that

Things to do:
*Destroy all boy and girlbands.
*Write my hole scripture so that it easily could be remade as hollywoodmovie, that way everone will belive it.
*Ban sex which only was done to make children. Enyoy it or don't do it at all ;)
*Make Iron maiden mandatory schoolsubjects.
*Promoting JRR Tolkien and Teryy Pratchett as my holy sons.
*Making Swedish the holy language.
*And then there are som small little things like taking away war, famine etc. But that I'll do on the coffebrake.

If?

Wadda mean if?

Don't make me smite you!!





.... I may need to join LM in therapy. Or I need a new smitin' stick.

Nothing.

Come on people, I know you've drempt of it. I know that, at least once, you said, "If only I was a god, then I could do...". Everyone wishes that they held supreme power, even if they didn't show it. Tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses? Throw them into the Sun. Angry at the President for screwing up your country? Turn him into a cow, eat him, then become President yourself. Tired of your boring, bland life? Then go to the flyin Island of Mandango where all you do is drink wine and have steaming hot sex.

So, what would you do?

I believe Zeus spent a good amount of time running around sleeping with various women, often in Animal form. I’d pay homage to Zeus but keep it strictly Human, at least for a few centuries anyway.

(Oh, and if you guys get bored of fantasizing, you can always check out Black and White (http://bw2.lionhead.com/bw2/). Or, if you're more patient, wait for Black and White 2 to come out this fall.)

How dare you advertise that filth. I swear if I hear "we need food" or "more food!" one more fing time... Ahhh lightening bolts and child sacrifices. That will teach you to ask for more food.

Play mindgames with the world in ways I can't disclose yet... just in case.
>.>
<.<

If I were God...hmm...?

Well I'd probably be the most mellow god there ever was. I'd let my "children" know that while there are certain moral issues they are to abide by (ie Thou Shalt Not Kill), everything else is fair game! let 'em have fun I say!

And if it ever comes to the point where we have religious fear-mongers and wars breaking out...Well I have something more powerful than any nuclear device...THE TOTAL ANIHILATION SPELL!!!

- We start with a devastating meteor shower.
- Then a plague of Biblical proportions.
- After that a bought of famine and drought.
- Then Godzilla!
- A giant flood to finish the job.
- And finally I burn off the atmosphere to kill off any stragglers.

Think I'd be a god very active in the world he created...you now, for a change from the norm.

Firstly, I'd make color a random variable when having a child (i.e. it would have nothing to do with the color of the parents). Think it would be harder to hate someone if they can randomly appear in your family. Whenever any homophobe has a violent thought I will zap him gay...yep...if one thinks, hey let's go lynch a queer, I will garuntee he will somehow end up in a leather bar before the end of the night...hmmm...what else...Any priest of mine will have to step dance wherever he goes...and people who wear big hats in movie theaters will be smited on the spot.

Wearing clothing will be a sin. To give it a more familar feel...not wearing pants will also be a sin.

Nothing, as I would not exist.

I would create the world in one day. Leave evidence that it wasn't created by me and instead created by a wacky mechanism called evolution. Trick people into thinking there is no supernatural, that I hate anyone who doesn't do exactly what I say. Oh yeah, I would make sure none of my angels rebelled against me. Then there would be no hell, just a hades and death, and my pal Jesus would take care of thatThrow in "anyone stupid enough to believe in me, despite the fact that all evidence clearly shows otherwise, goes to hell" and you'll have me hooked.

If?

Wadda mean if?

Don't make me smite you!!





.... I may need to join LM in therapy. Or I need a new smitin' stick.

Why you pretender, I am the only GOD here!!(hence the title Pharoah in my name) If there is to be any smiting it will be by me (insert thunder crash here)!!

So what is the name of your therapist?

make blackholes and time travel w0000000

Leave!


Oh wait, I've done that already...

1. Laugh insanely (for myself)
2. Mess around "a little" and have quite a bit of fun. (some of which I think I shouldn't mention :D)
3. Laugh insanely (and let a few random people hear it, as well as see some really weird things)
4. Try to figure out different ways to gradually improve the world.
5. Create a small, isolated universe, move there and have a lot more fun.
6. Go back once in a while and gradually carry out some of those improvements.
7. Along with 6, mess around a little more.

I would control all the mods..... uh oh..... I think I've had my share of forums for today

If I were God, I would open up the sky and show them Hell... actually show it to them.

or maybe i'd put it on TV and say something like, "This is God, here. I want you too look at hell. Here it is. Do you want to be here for eternity? If not, follow me and do as I say. You might be the captains of your souls, but I'm the tribunal who can send you to Leavenworth of you don't obey me."

hehe

How dare you advertise that filth. I swear if I hear "we need food" or "more food!" one more fing time... Ahhh lightening bolts and child sacrifices. That will teach you to ask for more food.


It's not "filth". It just gets...boring after a while.

Of course, if ye check the link, you'll see that BW2 will be better. Instead of setting those hungry people on fire, you can hurl 'em into the sun. You can conscript 'em to make them attack someone else. Or you can make a volcano appear that destroys your entire city.

Come on people, I know you've drempt of it. I know that, at least once, you said, "If only I was a god, then I could do...". Everyone wishes that they held supreme power, even if they didn't show it. Tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses? Throw them into the Sun. Angry at the President for screwing up your country? Turn him into a cow, eat him, then become President yourself. Tired of your boring, bland life? Then go to the flyin Island of Mandango where all you do is drink wine and have steaming hot sex.

So, what would you do?

(Oh, and if you guys get bored of fantasizing, you can always check out Black and White (http://bw2.lionhead.com/bw2/). Or, if you're more patient, wait for Black and White 2 to come out this fall.)
I'd abolish religion.

i'd prove i didn't exist :p

disguise myself as donald trump and order my golden robots to destroy the world.

I'd abolish religion.

Are you insane?!?!

Jeez, you would give up all the powers of the universe?

Ghey...

I'd knock down human fertility rates by about 90% for a couple of decades. Then I'd only allow about one billion people, hell, maybe half that many.
I'd bring back some of the more interesing extinct animals, like the thylacine, smilodon and Irish elk. Maybe pygmy mammoths and the Japanese wolf. A lot of bird species too. Passenger pigeons, Carolina parakeets and moas.

I might create a couple of new continents and invent new animals. Being god I could keep it from altering the weather. I'd get rid of rape, war, child abuse and cruelty in general. All kinds of social engineering would be fun. And the hottest men on the planet would be eager and honored to serve me in every way. :D

Enslave the world, and have a great immortal life. Then, maybe play games like in "Saw" and then maybe blow up the world, mke a new one...etc

I'd make an appearance every now and again, just to take the piss out of all the jerks who try to interpret my scripture for their worldly gain.

Come on people, I know you've drempt of it. I know that, at least once, you said, "If only I was a god, then I could do...". Everyone wishes that they held supreme power, even if they didn't show it. Tired of trying to keep up with the Joneses? Throw them into the Sun. Angry at the President for screwing up your country? Turn him into a cow, eat him, then become President yourself. Tired of your boring, bland life? Then go to the flyin Island of Mandango where all you do is drink wine and have steaming hot sex.

So, what would you do?

(Oh, and if you guys get bored of fantasizing, you can always check out Black and White (http://bw2.lionhead.com/bw2/). Or, if you're more patient, wait for Black and White 2 to come out this fall.)

To be honest, to have that kind of responsibility, particularly knowing my finite capacity, would scare me to death. I am greatful that I don't have to worry about it.

To be honest, to have that kind of responsibility, particularly knowing my finite capacity, would scare me to death. I am greatful that I don't have to worry about it.
But by deffinition if you were god you would no longer be finite :p

If i was G-d...i would not change a single thing. After all now i would know why all these things happen.

But assuming G-d powers working with Human Logic...i'd make 1+1=fish...just to see what would happen.

If i was G-d...i would not change a single thing. After all now i would know why all these things happen.

But assuming G-d powers working with Human Logic...i'd make 1+1=fish...just to see what would happen.
mmmm base fish mathmatics

But by deffinition if you were god you would no longer be finite :p

I suppose, but given that I'm finite now, how could I possibly know what I'd do if I were infinite? :p ;)

mmmm base fish mathmatics

As long as I don't have to start fishing for 2's... somehow that just doesn't sound like as much fun :p ;) :rolleyes: :D

I suppose, but given that I'm finite now, how could I possibly know what I'd do if I were infinite? :p ;)
Exactly (though this has always been one of my failings to understand how religions can "know" what god is if we ... really could never know what god is)

Though brings on arguement of infiniate also encompasing evil ... and so on so forth :p

The very first thing I'd do is make one of my friends turn into a duck nightly. Don't ask.

Exactly (though this has always been one of my failings to understand how religions can "know" what god is if we ... really could never know what god is)

Though brings on arguement of infiniate also encompasing evil ... and so on so forth :p

Well, a circle is infinite, in its own way(number of points), but I don't know that I'd say that a circle is evil by definition. Also, we can both know that a circle has specific characteristics, while at the same time not being able to calculate the number of points between any two points on a circle.

I look at God in much the same way. I know many things about God, but that knowledge can never encompass the totality of God.

if i could do anything?

firstly, i would make my body female, then i would alter the minds of everybody i know so that as far as they were concerned i had always been a girl

then i would just get on with life, safe in the knowledge that i was god

Well, a circle is infinite, in its own way(number of points), but I don't know that I'd say that a circle is evil by definition. Also, we can both know that a circle has specific characteristics, while at the same time not being able to calculate the number of points between any two points on a circle.

I look at God in much the same way. I know many things about God, but that knowledge can never encompass the totality of God.
Every shape can have an infinant ammount of points :p because they can be made infinantly small (again another arguement ... including rebuttal)

But if god is infininanat by deffinition he must be EVERYTHING

Every shape can have an infinant ammount of points :p because they can be made infinantly small (again another arguement ... including rebuttal)

But if god is infininanat by deffinition he must be EVERYTHING

Why? That would be all encompassing, by definition, rather than infinite wouldn't it?

Why? That would be all encompassing, by definition, rather than infinite wouldn't it?
In terms of circles (though god is defined as such too) but that is reffering to containing rather then IS
I think our metaphore is geting us confused :p

In terms of circles (though god is defined as such too) but that is reffering to containing rather then IS
I think our metaphore is geting us confused :p

I don't know that the Bible every suggests that God has the state of being everything. Rather it suggests a more enigmatic, "I AM that I AM". Some of His characteristics are known, some are not.

I don't know that the Bible every suggests that God has the state of being everything. Rather it suggests a more enigmatic, "I AM that I AM". Some of His characteristics are known, some are not.
Yeah but then he is not "infinite" Having no bounds means he has to be "everywhere" as such he has to be every bit of matter ... including us

As such can it be really said that we exist? that we are just not parts of gods
if so we are not individuals
and that brings into question free will :p but anyways time for cryptography

If I was God I'd have a complete ball. I'd do my own version of what the old testament God is supposed to have done, giving my people all sorts of stringent rules about eating and mildew and not lighting unauthorized fires, and then give 'em hell when they disobeyed me. I'd probably throw in a bit more complete lunacy than the old testament did, like turning people into giant dancing tapiers or something.

If you really think about it you are in control of your own life. Even christians God gave you a choice. What you chose to do with it is up to you. think about it you can control what get's in and out of your head. Dosen't that make you in control. And some are not very good at there choices are the

PEACE BE WITH YOU

What would you do if you were a God?
Encourage fanaticism by showing my presence a lot, get people to do stupid stuff for my amusement (send spaceships into the sun calling it 'heaven'), etc. Then get bored, disappear into the ether and proclaim random messages every now and then. Also, have an illegitimate love child. You know, the usual...

I don't know if I would want to be a god. It could get really frustrating trying to prove that you are the one true god & all those atheasts (no offense) they kiinda take away the point of it. I'm content worshipping god & jesus. Then again, It would be fun!!! RULE THE WORLD haha lol
l

The Laws of TLS

1. j00 Shall not eat pickles on the Third of November, unless it is a Full Moon.

2. Th0u shall not pick your nose in your grandmothers Hummer.

3. Thou Shall worship me, and maybe some other guy, but no more than three people.

4.Thou shall play RPG's 5 hours a week.

5. Thou shall go to E3 at least once in your life, if you have the cash.

5b. If you have enough cash after that, go to Otacon.

6. Thou shall hunt the Swordfish into extinction.

7. Thou shall name your first Space Colonies "Boblandia".

8. Thou shall cremate yourself, unless you died under the age of 60.

9. If you eat too many Fish(712) in one day, I shall eat you.

10. And Most importantly....

BUMP!

Ooh, we making random commandments now?

1. Thou shalt worship me with thy bodies, minds and possibly fluids

2. Thou shalt play the music of thy god, me, when ye worship me (music of Gods=Heavy Metal and Rock)

3. Thou shalt spam, for spam is the food of the Gods!

4. If thou art hungry, eat a rich person.

5. Thou shalt build 1000ft statues of thy God out of a titanium/molybdenum alloy, hollow so they may be converted to giant god-ships of war when you achieve space flight!

6. Thous shalt be hedonistic whilst simultaneously using protection with anyone other than your life partner. If you have trouble finding them, consult me.

7. Thou shalt put consoles in every house, with internet connections for all.

8. Thou shalt invent the best beer in the world and give at least 30% to me.

9. Sexuality is to be reveered, not scolded.

10. If all else fails, turn to Offler, the Crocodile God. He'll see you through.

I'd give The Lightning Star an unlimited supply of Cheetos! :D

I'd give The Lightning Star an unlimited supply of Cheetos! :D
What, no cheetos for me?

I'd give The Lightning Star an unlimited supply of Cheetos! :D

LOL!

Would j00 make them with...

*shifty eyes*

The Secret Ingredient?

LOL!

Would j00 make them with...

*shifty eyes*

The Secret Ingredient?

If you wanted. ;)

What, no cheetos for me?

*Waves fingers, chants in a low voice*

Thou hast been granted infinite cheetos. Thou shalt enjoy!

I would sit back with a nice bowl of Cheezits and mustard and a big spoon and watch the show.

So, what would you do?


Force the US to make real beer. :D

*Waves fingers, chants in a low voice*

Thou hast been granted infinite cheetos. Thou shalt enjoy!
*bathes in cheetos*

*starts to drown in cheetos*

*empties cheetos directly into infinite void*

If you wanted. ;)

Mmmmm... Shooban!

*munch munch munch*

Mmmmm... Shooban!

*munch munch munch*

Lol, yuck.

(Check TGs)

Strike down with great vengeance and furious anger on all who seek to poison and destroy my brothers.

So that they know my name &c.


By this I mean most of the republicans and all the religious nuts. Uncompassionate people too.