NationStates Jolt Archive

What would your country do with two cows?

For thoes of you who are completly ignorant here is an example:

Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

:confused:


EDIT: But intrested!

I'm confused, too, but you grabbed my attention. I am interested to see where you are taking this.

you have two cows. one splits off and forms its own country, and you spend the next 80 years arguing over whether or not the second cow should join it

Me, I'd buy a bull. Then, given a little time, my country can have a sensible number of cows. Maybe even a dairy industry.

I think Britain would test the cows for BSE before giving them to America.

My country, on the other hand, would offer the cows to President Saakashvili, who would then hold a big banquet for his immediate family whilst everybody else went home and ate their cabbage soup.

What would your country do with two cows?

For thoes of you who are completly ignorant here is an example:

Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.I perfere the capitalist way... sell one cow...buy a bull... as for who get's the milk... that's fine... I have no problem... as long as my herd grows to match the population...

What would your country do with two cows?

For thoes of you who are completly ignorant here is an example:

Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Corporatocratic USA: One rich guy own the cows, the government taxes the people for the money to buy a bull to breed more cows and then people have to scrimp and save to buy milk which sells for about the same price as a small apartment's rent.

All the while consumers praise the guy who owns the cows for working so damn hard that the rest of us can have milk, and it's a shame there weren't more hardworking people producing milk for the country.

Mothers who bottle their own breast-milk to sell it on the black market are rounded up as the most dangerous criminals in the country because all manner of blood-borne diseases are carried in breast milk, and numerous studies indicate how human breast milk is linked to cancer and anemia and lowered IQ and several violent behavioral disorders. It is imperative that the country stamp down on these lacto-terrorists before violence consumes the country.

Zero Wing: You have two cows. All your milk are belong to us.

Sell both cows, buy a bunch of chickens. Sell the eggs to buy more chickens and nuclear weapons.

Corporatocratic USA: One rich guy own the cows, the government taxes the people for the money to buy a bull to breed more cows and then people have to scrimp and save to buy milk which sells for about the same price as a small apartment's rent.

All the while consumers praise the guy who owns the cows for working so damn hard that the rest of us can have milk, and it's a shame there weren't more hardworking people producing milk for the country.

Mothers who bottle their own breast-milk to sell it on the black market are rounded up as the most dangerous criminals in the country because all manner of blood-borne diseases are carried in breast milk, and numerous studies indicate how human breast milk is linked to cancer and anemia and lowered IQ and several violent behavioral disorders. It is imperative that the country stamp down on these lacto-terrorists before violence consumes the country.
HA HA HA HA!

my favorite:

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.

We have two rats. The government orders us to take bagpipe lessons.

Made independently of the above. (he started posting AFTER me, but finished BEFORE...you dig?)

We just had this thread few days ago. The ultimate list of these is here (http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/You_have_two_cows)

Corporatocratic USA: One rich guy own the cows, the government taxes the people for the money to buy a bull to breed more cows and then people have to scrimp and save to buy milk which sells for about the same price as a small apartment's rent.

All the while consumers praise the guy who owns the cows for working so damn hard that the rest of us can have milk, and it's a shame there weren't more hardworking people producing milk for the country.

Mothers who bottle their own breast-milk to sell it on the black market are rounded up as the most dangerous criminals in the country because all manner of blood-borne diseases are carried in breast milk, and numerous studies indicate how human breast milk is linked to cancer and anemia and lowered IQ and several violent behavioral disorders. It is imperative that the country stamp down on these lacto-terrorists before violence consumes the country.

Nice one! :D :p

We clone the cows and make them 18 times smaller.

We clone the cows and make them 18 times smaller.
So you can herd them in your backyard ;)

We make poor cow jokes:
Two cows in feild, which one's goin' on holliday?
The one wi' the wee calf.

I have these on the back of my notenook to make me laugh, along with why did the chicken cross the road answers...

Edit: found where I'd posted it before....

Milking the cash cows...

A traditional corporation:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation:
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the remaining cow drops dead.

A Russian Corporation:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count again and learn you have 42. You count again and learn you have 12. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

A French Corporation:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size and produce 20 times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

A German Corporation:You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years and milk themselves.

A British Corporation:
You have two cows. Sadly, both are mad.

A Chinese Corporation:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

The Enron Corporation:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publically listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred to a Caymon Island company, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with the option of one more. You sell one cow to buy a U.S. president, leaving nine cows.
The public buys your bull.

I've got these emails before...

I think the best part is the last one..


A Welsh corporation:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks kinda cute.