NationStates Jolt Archive

I believe William Shatner is evil. He bores us with his mediocre acting, his atrocious sci-fi wrtings and his general willingness to get naked. He must be stopped I say, stopped! His new album is good though. If you like Iggy Pop, go out and buy it. It's great.

Somehow i have to think of Zapp Brannigan (from Futurama) now. Wasn't he great parody on William Shatner? ;)

He certainly was. He certainly was.

"Kiff, lower. Lower. Lower. Too low! Lower."

Family Guy had the best Shatner parody ever (even though he died there).

Family Guy had the best Shatner parody ever (even though he died there).

That just made the parody all the better. :)

William Shatner is teh c00le5t

hello, im Bill Shatner, and i dont care what...you people think.. I...was on Star TREK...

I'm... sorry Bill... I... quite like your MUsic, but... I... think you're...... evil, in so many.... ways...

Did I ever tell you guys that I met William SHatner? I played paintball with him. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to shoot at him directly. Pity. :( But I did assist in the destruction of his tank. :)

There was an auction to raise money for charity, and they auctioned off something a bit unusual. See, there was a little girl with cancer who was the daughter of a very prominent player. They were selling temporary tattoos of ladybugs to raise money for her treatments. They auctioned off William shatner putting a temporary tattoo on the winner's butt. Mancow(the radio personality) won. $600. However, when Mancow droppd his pants, someone handed Shatner a sharpie, and he autographed Mancow's butt. :D

Unfortunately, the only pic I can find of this online is at poor angle(or at an excellent angle depending on your interest in seeing a man's butt.)

http://www.warpig.com/paintball/recreational/shatner/2003/WARPIG-Shatner-and-Mancow.jpg

My former roommate and I are considering another trip to this annual paintball event. It's callet Spplat Attack. It's held on Labor Day. Though this year, they haven't released a location yet.

He certainly was. He certainly was.

"Kiff, lower. Lower. Lower. Too low! Lower."
"I suffer from a very sexy learning disorder. Kiff, what's it called?"

"Ugh.... sexlexia sir..." :p

Did I ever tell you guys that I met William SHatner? I played paintball with him. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to shoot at him directly. Pity. :( But I did assist in the destruction of his tank. :)

There was an auction to raise money for charity, and they auctioned off something a bit unusual. See, there was a little girl with cancer who was the daughter of a very prominent player. They were selling temporary tattoos of ladybugs to raise money for her treatments. They auctioned off William shatner putting a temporary tattoo on the winner's butt. Mancow(the radio personality) won. $600. However, when Mancow droppd his pants, someone handed Shatner a sharpie, and he autographed Mancow's butt. :D

Unfortunately, the only pic I can find of this online is at poor angle(or at an excellent angle depending on your interest in seeing a man's butt.)

http://www.warpig.com/paintball/recreational/shatner/2003/WARPIG-Shatner-and-Mancow.jpg

My former roommate and I are considering another trip to this annual paintball event. It's callet Spplat Attack. It's held on Labor Day. Though this year, they haven't released a location yet.
Can I worship you, LG, for being so damn cool? :D

Can I worship you, LG, for being so damn cool? :D

Only if it involves sending me peanut butter cups. :cool:

Only if it involves sending me peanut butter cups. :cool:
It was either that or pure white lambs :D

Did I ever tell you guys that I met William SHatner? I played paintball with him. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to shoot at him directly. Pity. :( But I did assist in the destruction of his tank. :)

There was an auction to raise money for charity, and they auctioned off something a bit unusual. See, there was a little girl with cancer who was the daughter of a very prominent player. They were selling temporary tattoos of ladybugs to raise money for her treatments. They auctioned off William shatner putting a temporary tattoo on the winner's butt. Mancow(the radio personality) won. $600. However, when Mancow droppd his pants, someone handed Shatner a sharpie, and he autographed Mancow's butt. :D

Unfortunately, the only pic I can find of this online is at poor angle(or at an excellent angle depending on your interest in seeing a man's butt.)

http://www.warpig.com/paintball/recreational/shatner/2003/WARPIG-Shatner-and-Mancow.jpg

My former roommate and I are considering another trip to this annual paintball event. It's callet Spplat Attack. It's held on Labor Day. Though this year, they haven't released a location yet.
awesome. awesome to the max! :p

It was either that or pure white lambs :D

Bah! WHy do so many deities like pure white lambs? Lamb chops, maybe. But think of all the work involved in preparing them! Or do they want the wool? *rubs chin thoughtfully*

Feh! Give me peanut butter cups anytime! :)

William Shatner is teh c00le5t
You take that back!!! :mad:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow starboard bow starboard bow.........

will shatner excites my bowels

Speaking of bowels...

WHenever they commission a new starship Enterprise, do the crew members rush around the ship trying to find still unused toilets and be the first to use them so they can 'boldly go where no one has gone before'?

I know I would. :)

I believe William Shatner is evil. He bores us with his mediocre acting, his atrocious sci-fi wrtings and his general willingness to get naked. He must be stopped I say, stopped! His new album is good though. If you like Iggy Pop, go out and buy it. It's great.

Surely something as insane and untrue as this must be flamebaiting? :p

Did I ever tell you guys that I met William SHatner? I played paintball with him. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to shoot at him directly. Pity. :( But I did assist in the destruction of his tank. :)

There was an auction to raise money for charity, and they auctioned off something a bit unusual. See, there was a little girl with cancer who was the daughter of a very prominent player. They were selling temporary tattoos of ladybugs to raise money for her treatments. They auctioned off William shatner putting a temporary tattoo on the winner's butt. Mancow(the radio personality) won. $600. However, when Mancow droppd his pants, someone handed Shatner a sharpie, and he autographed Mancow's butt. :D

Unfortunately, the only pic I can find of this online is at poor angle(or at an excellent angle depending on your interest in seeing a man's butt.)

http://www.warpig.com/paintball/recreational/shatner/2003/WARPIG-Shatner-and-Mancow.jpg

My former roommate and I are considering another trip to this annual paintball event. It's callet Spplat Attack. It's held on Labor Day. Though this year, they haven't released a location yet.

Dude...that was so cool. I actually wrote about that event for Paintball Magazine. I used to have a monthly column called "Kanuck Korner" and one of the people that contributed an idea had been at that event.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow starboard bow starboard bow.........

Klingons off the starboard bough, starboard bow, JIIIIIIIM!

"the Captains tastes were simple
but his methods were complex
we found him with 5 partners
each of a different world and sex
the shore police were on their way
we had no second chance
we beamed him up in the nick of time
and the remnants of his pants."

Klingons off the starboard bough, starboard bow, JIIIIIIIM!It's worse than that; it's physics Jim!!!

It's worse than that; it's physics Jim!!!

. . . . . . . .physics Jim, physics Jim, its worse than that its physics Jim, PHYSICS JIM!!! :fluffle:

Klingons off the starboard bough, starboard bow, JIIIIIIIM!
i preferre...
Kingon on the starboard bow, scrape them off JIM!

"You can't push her any faster! She's a Chevolet Jim, you can't push her any faster then that!"
-Robin Williams, A Night at the Met

Also whats wrong with him in Boston Legal? His extreme stupidness in that show is what makes it so funny.

I actually think William Shatner is a highly, HIGHLY underrated actor. Just take a look at some of the episodes of Star Trek. "City On The Edge Of Forever" is quality acting from Mr. Shatner. At the end of Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, the moment between Spock and Kirk was great, but hey that's just my opinion.

Speaking of bowels...

WHenever they commission a new starship Enterprise, do the crew members rush around the ship trying to find still unused toilets and be the first to use them so they can 'boldly go where no one has gone before'?

I know I would. :)
I wonder if Shatner (weirdly punny name considering the scatological content of this post) ever flushed?
Because if he didn't, anyone going in after him would immediately say "Hmm..Captain's log. Stardate ...."

Bill Shatner, or as I like to call him, 'the One True Shatner' stands not only as a pop-culture icon in his own right, but I believe he is in fact the single greatest living avatar of SLACK in the world today, even putting the illustrious J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs to shame.

Bob, acknowledged by most SubGenii to be the 'Sultan of Sales', a man who could sell shit to flies, who makes a million every time he fucks up, can't hold a candle to Bill. Consider:

Bill cannot act. Yet he acts, and makes millions doing so.
Bill cannot write. Nonetheless his books sell hundreds of thousands of copies, and are found in most large bookstores.
Bill cannot sing. Still, how many of us cannot recall his unique delivery of ditties like 'Mr. Tambourine Man' or 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds'?
Bill cannot direct or produce. Even so, he has, and has done profitably, to boot.

See? Every time BILL fucks up, he makes a fat pile of cashola. And unlike Bob, who is make up of little black dots, Bill is flesh and blood. We of the Church of the Subgenius must recognize Bill for what he truly is - Bob's equal in many respects. Chances are, the One True Shatner is completely unaware of his Yeti origins. I hope one day my fellow Sub-Gees come to understand the depth of love and admiration the OTS inspires in me. Truly.

Besides which, if there's anything the OTS has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt, it's that he has a terrificly-developed sense of humour and commands a wicked self-deprecating wit. Here is a man unafraid of betraying the icons people have put tried putting in his place.

Praise be to Bill, my new short-duration personal saviour!

There seems to be a typo in this thread. You seem to have mashed the keys for "evil" instead of those for "greatness" while hammering out the title. An understandable mistake.

Whenever they commission a new starship Enterprise, do the crew members rush around the ship trying to find still unused toilets and be the first to use them so they can 'boldly go where no one has gone before'?
Actually, do you think that the reason Kirk always tried to bag himself an alien beauty each week was because he was taking the "Boldy go where no man has gone before" charter not only at a professional but also at a very personal level?