NationStates Jolt Archive

Check these guys out, they're hilarious!

http://www.falconistparty.us/index.html

You have to read their party platform. Even if you get tired of their alien rantings, just read the last section, it's brilliant! :p

I scanned through the platform. These guys are nuts!

Its like some idiotic 8th grader decided to start a political party. Rebuild every road in America and Colonize the moon? Apparently the budget will be $80 trillion (or N$800 :rolleyes: ) to fund this somehow. Or we just do it for free?

Oh it just gets better the longer you read.
#5. First unify North and South America under the Stars and Stripes.
• Each Canadian province will be offered U.S. Statehood
• Greenland will be purchased from Denmark
• Cuba and Haiti will be liberated and admitted into the union
• All Latin American nations will be offered U.S. territorial status and ten-years later, U.S. Statehood.


#6. Eventually offer each nation on the planet U.S. Statehood

Oh it just gets better the longer you read.

Dontcha know everyone in the world wants to be part of the US? And those that don't are anti-American and must be killed.

Hehe.

This is a joke, right?

I was expecting Will Forte. Then I realized he's the Falconer. Oops.

This one made me snot all over my screen.

#2. Fund a full-blown program of space colonization
• Fund crash research and development programs in the research, development, and design of ion engines, space-planes, and heavy lift launch vehicles.
• Fund the immediate colonization of the Moon
• Fund the construction of the Space Elevator
• Establish a permanent colony on Mars within the next 25 years
• Fund the research, development, design, and construction of free floating space settlements in low Earth orbit.
• Establishment of ten-kilometer wide satellite solar power stations in low Earth orbit to supply the world's energy needs.
• Establishment of a vast array of solar mirrors to diver solar heat from the equatorial regions to the polar regions of Earth.
• Establishment of space-based industries that will create new products, new industries, and new jobs.
• Fund the terraforming of Mars and Venus
• Fund the design and construction of the Orion Spacecraft
• Establish a multi-layered defense system against missiles and asteroids

• Fund the construction of the Space Elevator

Someone reads too much Schlock Mercenary...

is there party bigger then one person?... those things just dont make any sence... how can someone who knows enough to build a website like that (not that its amazing... but still)... think... those space things... are ... arnt a joke.... ion engine or something... isnt that just made up?

ion engine or something... isnt that just made up?

No, they're real, but experimental.

The Let's Have A Party Party

:D :cool: :D

a) All boot camps will offer hard, disciplined, single-sexed training
b) There will be three types of boot camp

• General boot camp for women and men of limited disability
• Corps boot camp for men going into combat support roles and the Navy
• Marine boot camp for men going into combat arms.
And sexist too...

"Any candidate and/or party that submits five million signatures to the Federal Election Commission shall be on the ballot across the entire USA."

"Election Day shall be moved to Friday and Saturday..."

"The President shall have line-item veto power."

"A nationwide system of ... nuclear power plants shall be built."

"End the practice of paying farmers not to plant their crops."

"Provide free counseling, shelter and support to women with unwanted pregnancies."

"Affirmative action should be repealed. Right problem, wrong solution."

See? It's not all bad.

#5. Institute a national "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
• What people do behind closed doors is their own business
• People who advertise their immorality will face the consequences

Uh... Woah...
Sounds kinda... broad.... and psychotic.


The Falconist Party will fight for all people of color against the forces that seek to divide our society along racial or ethnic lines. Racial intolerance has no place in a truly free society.
Wonderful! Everyone can live in peace and harmony.

#5. Expand Israel's borders to include the following areas
• Israel proper and the West Bank
• Lebanon and Syria
• Sinai Peninsula
• America will fund the voluntary relocation of all the world's Jews to Israel
The Falconist Party seeks to defend America's sovereignty from the UN and other world powers such as China, the European Union, and Islam
Unless you're Muslim or Chinese.

The current U.S. Dollar shall be replaced by the New U.S. Dollar (N$). One N$ shall equal $100 old U.S.
Total lack of understanding for economics.

• Construct ten-kilometer satellite solar power stations in low Earth orbit to harness the energy of the sun and beam it to collectors on Earth in the form of microwaves.
So we can fry everyone.

Uh... Woah...
Sounds kinda... broad.... and psychotic.



Wonderful! Everyone can live in peace and harmony.



Unless you're muslim.


Total lack of understanding for economics.


So we can fry everyone.

No. Just people that live within a few hundred miles of the power station. ANd only along the line of the 'whoops'. :) Most of us will be just fine.

If this page is serious, it reads like PNAC written on GeoCities or AngelFire and with less political babble.

I wonder if they actually have a following... as most... weird ones do! ;)