NationStates Jolt Archive

Once upon a time, I heard Pearl Jam's "Betterman" at my next-door neighbor's wedding. I decided it was absolutely hilarious, and it resulted in their becoming one of my favorite bands for years to come. It also gave me the seed of an idea for exactly what I should do if whatever I end up marrying insists on having any formalities or dances.

So far, the solid part of my lists ain't long- three good entries.
Pearl Jam's Betterman
The Replacements' Nobody
3EB's Losing a Whole Year


I have other ideas, but none of them fit in a way worth mentioning. Yet, at my keyboard, I have connection to the vast, creative power of the board. And, while I fully expect 99% of the entries to be crap or fit poorly, I can filter, and I might get a few good ones.

Fire away

Mr. Blue Sky by scientific simpleton. I luv it.

Niine Inch Nails: "Happiness in Slavery", "Hurt"
Pink Floyd: "Goodbye Blue Skies", "Run Like Hell"
Queen: "Another One Bites the Dust"

"Seven Drunken Nights" perhaps, but I'm not sure who it's actually by; Flogging Molly has done it, but that doesn't mean they composed it
Tool's "Hooker With a Penis" could be interesting too.

"It's the end of the world as we know it" by REM?

Somebody That I Used to Know - Elliott Smith


And who can forget the immortal "I've Got Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks?

It may indicated a certain degree of 'tardedness on my part, but what in seven hells is an anti-wedding?

"Fuck You (An Ode to No-One)" by the Smashing Pumpkins
"Glad to See You Go" by the Ramones
"Rape Me" by Nirvana
"You Give Love A Bad Name", by Bon Jovi
"Nookie", by Limp Bizkit(if you can stand them, the lyrics would be perfect)
"Spit It Out", by Slipknot(again, if you can actually stand them)
(the chorus of that song goes like this:
"Spit
It Out!
All you wanna do is drag me down!
All I wanna do is stamp you out")
"Asphyxiation", by DCLXVI(nothing liek some power noise for wedding dancing!!)

How 'bout "What You Are" by Audioslave?

"And when you wanted me,
I came to you.
And when wanted someone else,
I withdrew.
And when you asked for light,
I set myself on fire.
And if I go far away,
I know you'll find another slave.

*(chorus)*
Now I'm free
from what you want.
Now I'm free
from what you need.
Now I'm free
from what you are.

And when you wanted blood,
I cut my veins.
And when you wanted love,
I bled myself again.
Now that I've had my fill of you,
I'd give you up forever.
And here i go far away,
I know you,
you'll find another slave.

(chorus)

Then a reason came to me
when you came along.
I gave you everything but then
you wanted more.

(chorus)
(chorus)."

Mr. Blue Sky by scientific simpleton. I luv it.
Uhh...Mr. Blue Sky is by ELO...
At least the one I'm thinking of...how dare someone cover ELO!

"Seven Drunken Nights" perhaps, but I'm not sure who it's actually by; Flogging Molly has done it, but that doesn't mean they composed it


The Dubliners, I believe.

How about 'I Kill Everything I Fuck' by GG Allin?

Used to Love Her (But I Had to Kill Her) - Guns 'N' Roses
Closer - Nine Inch Nails
She Fucking Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd
Outside - Staind
Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang


I think any one of those would probably grind most wedding to a screaching halt.

I think any one of those would probably grind most wedding to a screaching halt.
If I heard "Closer" at a wedding, my first thought after kickass! would be double wages to the DJ!

It may indicated a certain degree of 'tardedness on my part, but what in seven hells is an anti-wedding?You know what a wedding is? It would be whatever ceremony is the most against all the glurge, the dance music, and (Dear sweet Jesus) the formality. The parts I like least about weddings, essentially.


Neo-anarchists, you are invited to help plan any form of commitment ceremonies I might have in the future. Hammopolis, tell all your friends never to let you plan any formal ceremonies of any sort, and have them tell their loved ones the same.

If I heard "Closer" at a wedding, my first thought after kickass! would be double wages to the DJ!
Yes, but you're obviously awesome. Most peoples' level of awesomeness hovers somewhere slightly above Yanni and John Tesh.

Hammopolis, tell all your friends never to let you plan any formal ceremonies of any sort, and have them tell their loved ones the same.
Now, now, I would only do that if I hated you.

...or really liked you. Either way I would find it hilarious.

"It's the end of the world as we know it" by REM?I dunno... would "It's time I had some time alone" balance out "I feel fine?" I know most any excuse to play music from Document is a good excuse, but they're so damned cheery. (mayber "Nightswimming" if I feel like committing suicide at the end of the night and I can get Mike to come...)

Beck - "Lost Cause" would be a fantastic one.

"Your sorry eyes, they cut through bone.
They make it hard to leave you alone.
Leave you here wearing your wounds
Waving your guns at somebody new.

Baby I'm a lost
Baby I'm a lost
Baby I'm a lost cause."

"High and Dry" - Radiohead maybe.

There is a brilliant 19 year old artist named Nellie McKay--she includes satire in many of her songs, and a couple of them would be perfect for an anti-wedding. You can find them at her website--www.nelliemckay.net (http://www.nelliemckay.net)

These will mostly appeal to women, though. Just a warning.

Try:

I Wanna Get Married
Edit: Snippet of the lyrics--
I wanna get married
I need to cook meals
I wanna pack cute little lunches
for my brady bunches
then read danielle steele
I wanna escape
this rat race I've created
I'm feeling enervated
I don't care if I make it
I just want to bake a sugar cake
for you to take to work in the morn

Won't U Please B Nice
Snippet--
If you would sit
oh so close to me
that would be nice
like it's supposed to be
if you don't I'll slit your throat
so won't you please be nice
if you would hug
your arms right round me
that would be snug
like it's supposed to be
if we part I'll eat your heart
so won't you please be nice?

...and if you like the sound of those, another one you might like is "It's a Pose"

Trust me, they're great.

"No Feelings" by the Sex Pistols. That's all I have to say.

Geez. I must be old or something...

"I Don't Believe in Love" - Queensryche (Operation:Mindcrime)

"Temple of Love" - Sisters of Mercy (A Slight Case of Overbombing)

"One Last Time" - Dream Theatre (Metropolis Part 2)

"Used to Love Her" - Guns N' Roses (Lies)

"Warm Wet Circles" or "Sugar Mice" - Marillion (Clutching at Straws)

Queen: "Another One Bites the Dust"

My parents had that played at their wedding :p Good choice.

I'm gonna play the Safety Dance at my wedding. NOBODY will expect it...

My plan of PURE EVIL will go into full effect... Hah!